Okay, so we hard cut inside the convenience store.
Cody and Barbara enter; they're high as fuck.
And they head to the snack aisle.
Yeah, and then that's probably where we should introduce Sheila, right?
- Who's Sheila? - You know, the crack whore.
- Oh, the crack sex worker. Yeah. - I mean, the crack sex worker.
- Are we calling her Sheila? - Yeah, why? Do you not like it?
I don't know. She just doesn't, like, feel like a Sheila. Maybe Shayna?
Um, I actually do have a cousin named Shayna,
and I kind of worry that she might be, like, offended. Do you know what I mean?
Like, I don't want her to think I'm making fun of her.
And, see, the thing that you have to know about Shayna...
- actually really nice to talk... - Okay, but it's not like she's gonna see it.
I mean, it's just a spec script. It's not like it's getting made.
Okay, well, it won't with that attitude, that's for sure.
Oh, my God, Cody, if it's Dan, do not pick up.
Do not pick up! We're working! Ugh!
You fat bitch. You always do this.
You're gonna come back, and you're gonna be in a bad mood,
and then we're gonna have to talk about your relationship,
and I'm gonna have to pretend that I care.
CREDITS
Well, that's it.
Dan's totally cheating on me. So...
I know, right?
Yeah. He's going on that girl Simone's podcast.
And she is so beautiful.
She's honestly stunning.
They probably haven't gotten physical yet, just because,
like, she seems like this really sweet person.
- And she's probably, like... - Super sweet.
considering my feelings, but it's only a matter of time, realistically, before, like, they move in together
- and, you know, like, start making a family. - Yeah, time. Realistic, time.
I mean, you know, he's a successful guy. Like, a lot of girls would...
Who...
is...
that?
I don't know, my downstairs neighbor?
Holy shit!
I mean, you saw it, right?
- See what? - His dick.
- It was, like, bulging in his pants. - Oh, my God.
It was, like, pulsating.
And honestly, now that I'm thinking about it,
I think I could see the outline of his balls, too.
- Oh, my God. Dude. Dude. Gross! - What?
He's, like, 14.
Okay, so?
I'm seven. He's, like, twice my age.
I mean, I guess, but still...
Okay, Cody, shut up. You like older guys, too.
Who do you think that was with him? Do you think that was his girlfriend?
She's busted, right? I mean, could you believe what she was wearing? It was like...
Dude, what? No. That's his mom,
who he lives with, 'cause he's 14.
Do you think it'd be, like, really weird if you set us up or whatever?
Yes. It would be insanely weird.
Like, what's wrong with you?
I'm a sex doll, okay?
I'm sorry that, like, my very nature is just completely offensive to you.
Okay, that's obviously not what I meant.
Forget I even ever brought it up.
It's like, I'm always there for you. You're literally never there for me.
A hard right. When have I not been there for you?
Um, how about, like, ten minutes ago? The whole thing with my cousin Shayna.
The second I start opening up to you about something, you just shut me down.
And things are really strained with me and Shayna right now.
- No, and, like... - Okay, Barbara, you can't just like...
Oh, my God, you're doing it again!
Barbara, this is insane.
And I know that you have, like, some weird hold over me, where I do all this inappropriate shit for you,
but I am not asking my 14-year-old neighbor
to fuck my boyfriend's used sex doll.
So, um, just in here.
Thanks a lot for helping me out with this, Jaxon.
Sure, it's no problem.
So, um, what do you need moved?
This couch.
Yeah. It's, uh...
it's in the wrong place, according to feng shui, so that's...
you know, maybe that's why my life is so messed up, right?
Yeah, um, where do you want it to go?
Here. Just, like, this-this side... here, kind of.
So, you're in, um, what, you're in, like, ninth grade?
Eighth.
Eighth grade.
Great. Cool.
So, that's, like, the grade where you get a...
girlfriend or... ?
- No, not really. - No?
Hey, is this gonna be weird?
Um, 'cause the couch is in front of the fireplace now.
I'll just, um...
I just won't use the fireplace anymore.
Yo, where are those nuts at?!
Actually, I have a...
another thing that needs to be moved, and, uh,
that thing is in...
in my bedroom, so...
This way.
Oh, my gosh.
I forgot I left out my friend.
- Have you seen one of these before? - Hey.
They're very cool.
They're basically, like, a doll
you have sex with, which is cool.
- Okay, he gets it, Cody. - Oh, okay.
Show him the lube.
I'm not gonna show him the lube. This is crazy.
So, um, what do you need moved in here?
So this is...
this is my bottle of lubricant.
Tell him that it's lavender hibiscus.
- This smells really good. - Cody!
- Get out of here. You're weirding him out. - Uh, you know what?
I actually have piano, so I-I got, I got to go.
No! No, Cody, don't let him go!
Don't let him go!
Tell him about my new vagina!
Jaxon, can't you just... Jaxon.
Will you... will you please just fuck my sex doll?!
What did you think was gonna happen?
He's a kid. He probably doesn't even have pubes.
You're saying he's out of my league?
No! What are you...
Barbara...
I'm sorry. I tried. You saw. I tried, okay?
It's fine.
It's not your fault.
I'm old.
- I'm outdated. - Barb...
Barbara, stop.
You want to talk about old and outdated?
Like, past her prime? Like, look at me.
Cody...
you realize I say all that mean shit to you because...
I'm jealous.
- What are you talking about? - You're so hot.
- Shut up. No, I'm not. - You are.
- You are. You're, like, effortlessly hot. - Shut up.
And, like, your tits are amazing.
- Are you serious? - Yes!
My tits are like, eh... like, who cares?
- Like, they're nothing to write home about. - They are so gorgeous.
- I'm serious. - No, they're amazing.
- They're not. Feel. - Yes.
No, I'm being serious. Feel.
Feel.
Dude, they're literally perfect.
- Um, yours are perfect. - Mine?
I hate my boobs.
They're, like, cold and hard and, like,
- fake. - No. Uh, shut up.
They are. Feel.
Whatever. They're so nice.
Thanks. I mean, yours are amazing.
- Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com -