1
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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -

2
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I am going to kill you.

3
00:00:25,710 --> 00:00:27,463
What? I haven't even said the stuff yet

4
00:00:27,465 --> 00:00:28,564
that might piss you off.

5
00:00:34,350 --> 00:00:36,248
Ivy!

6
00:00:36,250 --> 00:00:39,288
Violence was the hallmark
of our relationship, too.

7
00:00:39,290 --> 00:00:42,588
Beth, you craving Thai or Italian?

8
00:00:42,590 --> 00:00:44,897
Hey! I don't know what I
did! I'm sure it's somethin'.

9
00:00:44,899 --> 00:00:47,158
Let's just hash this out like adults.

10
00:00:50,630 --> 00:00:52,268
I gotcha!

11
00:00:52,270 --> 00:00:53,898
So, missed you at the dress fitting.

12
00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:55,908
Kite Man, what the fuck is happenin'?

13
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- Also, hand.
- Uh... Oh, oh! Sorry.

14
00:00:58,140 --> 00:00:59,478
Uh, turns out

15
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:01,838
Dr. Psycho is now, like, all-powerful,

16
00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:03,678
and has my forever babe mind controlled.

17
00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:06,208
Well, we won't need
to worry about Psycho

18
00:01:06,210 --> 00:01:07,218
after I kill him.

19
00:01:07,220 --> 00:01:08,368
Oh, thank God!

20
00:01:08,370 --> 00:01:11,318
She's the love of my life,
and the wedding is tomorrow.

21
00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:12,558
The wedding's happening, okay?

22
00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:13,958
You didn't buy that tux for nothin'.

23
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:15,788
I didn't buy it at all. It's a rental.

24
00:01:15,790 --> 00:01:17,428
Jesus, you are a grown man.

25
00:01:17,430 --> 00:01:19,430
Just buy it, you're gonna use it.

26
00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:47,558
One nest of Parademons, coming right up!

27
00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:51,910
Okay, that wasn't to anybody.

28
00:01:58,670 --> 00:02:00,298
I'll ask you this once.

29
00:02:00,300 --> 00:02:02,268
Where is Dr. Psycho?

30
00:02:06,124 --> 00:02:07,283
Oh, what?

31
00:02:07,285 --> 00:02:08,524
Because I'm an alien,

32
00:02:08,526 --> 00:02:11,948
I understand all alien languages?

33
00:02:11,950 --> 00:02:13,878
Okay. I know a little Parademon,

34
00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:16,790
but it's still a racist
assumption. Be better.

35
00:02:21,020 --> 00:02:22,958
Do the fish guy, do him.

36
00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:24,888
God! You're like Jaws

37
00:02:24,890 --> 00:02:26,698
if all ya ate was fat people.

38
00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:28,968
Okay, what's your most
embarrassing moment?

39
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I thought we were friends,

40
00:02:31,370 --> 00:02:34,910
or at least coworkers with a
begrudging professional respect.

41
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Nanaue,

42
00:02:38,340 --> 00:02:40,278
play nice with your brother.

43
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Blood!

44
00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,618
No! What are you doing?

45
00:02:49,620 --> 00:02:52,018
That's your brother!

46
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My lord!

47
00:02:53,330 --> 00:02:55,988
You devoured your kin
like an amuse-bouche!

48
00:02:55,990 --> 00:02:57,319
Holy hell!

49
00:02:57,321 --> 00:02:59,224
I thought we were gonna
see you crap your pants,

50
00:02:59,226 --> 00:03:00,756
but that is dark, man.

51
00:03:04,570 --> 00:03:07,467
Have you procured the
head of Harley Quinn?

52
00:03:07,469 --> 00:03:08,638
Funny you should ask.

53
00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:11,038
I am procuring as we speak.

54
00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:13,078
Any minute now, her head

55
00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:14,708
is gonna come rolling through the door

56
00:03:14,710 --> 00:03:17,508
like a bowling ball with a bad dye job.

57
00:03:17,510 --> 00:03:19,648
Ahem! Sorry to interrupt.

58
00:03:19,650 --> 00:03:21,119
Um, apparently,

59
00:03:21,121 --> 00:03:23,448
Batman and his super friends
destroyed the Parademons,

60
00:03:23,450 --> 00:03:24,788
and are, um...

61
00:03:24,790 --> 00:03:26,348
- ... are coming here.
- Fuck!

62
00:03:26,350 --> 00:03:28,683
You express fear and displeasure.

63
00:03:28,685 --> 00:03:30,558
No! Everything's fine.

64
00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:32,458
That was a happy "fuck".

65
00:03:32,460 --> 00:03:34,997
It's a great word. You can
use it many different ways.

66
00:03:34,999 --> 00:03:36,897
Like "Fuck, yeah!" or, "Let's fuck".

67
00:03:36,899 --> 00:03:39,898
Harley Quinn swore an
oath to me and failed.

68
00:03:39,900 --> 00:03:42,338
Now you have sworn the same oath.

69
00:03:42,340 --> 00:03:45,368
I shall appear at nightfall
to collect someone's head.

70
00:03:45,370 --> 00:03:47,108
It is your choice whose.

71
00:03:47,110 --> 00:03:48,748
No problem, no biggie!

72
00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:51,048
Now, is that my nightfall
or where you are?

73
00:03:51,050 --> 00:03:53,318
'Cause time zones across
planets and dimensions

74
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,018
are like wah, wah,
wah, wah, wah... okay.

75
00:03:56,450 --> 00:03:58,388
You've stepped in it now, Psycho.

76
00:03:58,390 --> 00:03:59,988
A big, fresh wet one!

77
00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:02,758
# The Justice League to the rescue! #

78
00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:04,628
Huzzah!

79
00:04:04,630 --> 00:04:06,628
No way that helmet's powerful enough

80
00:04:06,630 --> 00:04:08,858
to control Superman's funky alien brain.

81
00:04:08,860 --> 00:04:11,528
# The Justice League comes to get us #

82
00:04:11,530 --> 00:04:13,138
# Free us all #

83
00:04:13,140 --> 00:04:14,299
He might be right.

84
00:04:14,301 --> 00:04:15,798
If the Justice League reach the mall,

85
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:17,438
uh, game over.

86
00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:18,738
Shut up, Debbie Downer,

87
00:04:18,740 --> 00:04:20,138
it's not game over.

88
00:04:20,140 --> 00:04:22,207
It's game on! Ha!

89
00:04:22,209 --> 00:04:23,448
We got a new plan.

90
00:04:23,450 --> 00:04:25,061
We're gonna kill Harley Quinn,

91
00:04:25,063 --> 00:04:27,478
but first we gotta kill the heroes.

92
00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:28,948
Kill the heroes,

93
00:04:28,950 --> 00:04:30,918
kill Harley,

94
00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:32,620
rule Earth!

95
00:04:34,090 --> 00:04:36,257
Welcome to the old
Kite-tress of solitude.

96
00:04:36,259 --> 00:04:37,288
Sorry about the mess.

97
00:04:37,290 --> 00:04:39,758
My, uh, roommate
leaves stuff everywhere.

98
00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:41,175
Psycho, that little shit.

99
00:04:41,177 --> 00:04:42,732
Puts on a magic yarmulke

100
00:04:42,734 --> 00:04:44,367
and now, he's doin' Jedi mind tricks?

101
00:04:44,369 --> 00:04:46,067
We need to destroy that helmet.

102
00:04:46,069 --> 00:04:47,725
Uh, just a little caveat there.

103
00:04:47,727 --> 00:04:50,009
Uh, we can't get close
or he'll put our domes

104
00:04:50,011 --> 00:04:51,669
through the brain-washing spin cycle.

105
00:04:51,671 --> 00:04:52,939
I know. He did the same thing

106
00:04:52,941 --> 00:04:54,239
to Clayface and King Shark.

107
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The second they... Sy.

108
00:04:56,041 --> 00:04:59,209
Sigh is right.

109
00:04:59,211 --> 00:05:01,719
For my lady love hath been led astray.

110
00:05:01,721 --> 00:05:04,989
Not "sigh", dummy. Sy. Sy Borgman.

111
00:05:04,991 --> 00:05:06,919
Sy wasn't affected by
Psycho's mind control.

112
00:05:06,921 --> 00:05:08,259
He was immune.

113
00:05:08,261 --> 00:05:11,289
What the hell made you so special, Sy?

114
00:05:11,291 --> 00:05:13,296
Zombie eye, zombie eye!

115
00:05:13,298 --> 00:05:15,299
Wait, wait! My kite
senses are fluttering.

116
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It's Morse Code!

117
00:05:16,871 --> 00:05:18,829
- You know Morse Code?
- Of course!

118
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Sailors and kiters use signal lamps

119
00:05:20,701 --> 00:05:23,069
to transmit Morse Code
without being detected.

120
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I still sometimes
can't get over the fact

121
00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:26,739
Ivy has sex with you.

122
00:05:26,741 --> 00:05:28,639
Oh, she does.

123
00:05:28,641 --> 00:05:30,949
Look, the eye is saying...

124
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Plug... me... in.

125
00:05:33,921 --> 00:05:36,621
What does it mean?

126
00:05:38,927 --> 00:05:40,456
Ta-da!

127
00:05:40,458 --> 00:05:41,819
Oh, well, okay, right.

128
00:05:41,821 --> 00:05:43,859
Sy, you're a zombie robot ghost!

129
00:05:43,861 --> 00:05:46,159
N-n-n-none, none of the above, baby!

130
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I just got a classic case of

131
00:05:47,831 --> 00:05:50,899
the human consciousness-
transferred-into-the-machine-itis.

132
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There was a whole chapter on it

133
00:05:52,182 --> 00:05:54,739
in my robot b-b-b-body
handbook I didn't read.

134
00:05:54,741 --> 00:05:56,039
Sy, we don't have a lot of time.

135
00:05:56,041 --> 00:05:57,109
Listen, why weren't you affected

136
00:05:57,111 --> 00:05:58,209
by Psycho's mind control?

137
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Because the C-C-C-Commies!

138
00:06:00,311 --> 00:06:03,009
CIA wanted to make sure
the Ruskies didn't flip me

139
00:06:03,011 --> 00:06:04,334
into a Manchurian candidate

140
00:06:04,336 --> 00:06:06,079
and/or president of the United States.

141
00:06:06,081 --> 00:06:08,149
They used cutting-edge t-t-technology

142
00:06:08,151 --> 00:06:10,319
to create an anti-mind control device

143
00:06:10,321 --> 00:06:13,019
and jammed it in my n-n-n-noggin.

144
00:06:13,021 --> 00:06:15,719
Can you tell us how to make that device?

145
00:06:15,721 --> 00:06:19,089
Sure! Easy-p-p-peasy on my metal neezy.

146
00:06:19,091 --> 00:06:20,599
- Oh, thank God!
- We're coming, Ivy.

147
00:06:20,601 --> 00:06:22,321
All you need is magnetic coating

148
00:06:22,323 --> 00:06:23,670
- from a floppy disk...
- Huh.

149
00:06:23,672 --> 00:06:25,571
The photodiodes of a VHS tape...

150
00:06:25,573 --> 00:06:29,669
And an 8-track recording of The
Monkees' D-D-D-Daydream Believer.

151
00:06:29,671 --> 00:06:31,769
Say we couldn't get those things...

152
00:06:31,771 --> 00:06:34,279
Well, then, it's gonna
take a little elbow grease.

153
00:06:41,194 --> 00:06:43,633
Oh, my God! Superman's gonna kill Ivy!

154
00:06:43,635 --> 00:06:45,389
Wasn't he trapped in a book?

155
00:06:45,391 --> 00:06:47,319
Who let Superman out of the book?

156
00:06:47,321 --> 00:06:49,119
Are you sure you've got this?

157
00:06:49,121 --> 00:06:50,959
I mean, there's still time to flee.

158
00:06:50,961 --> 00:06:52,629
You've seen these calves.

159
00:06:52,631 --> 00:06:55,269
Stop showing me your
weird turkey leg calves.

160
00:06:55,271 --> 00:06:56,329
I'm not gonna fuck you.

161
00:06:56,331 --> 00:06:57,899
If you wanna go, go.

162
00:06:57,901 --> 00:06:59,869
But don't show up
tomorrow when this is over

163
00:06:59,871 --> 00:07:03,109
and still expect me to
let you rule Scandinavia.

164
00:07:03,111 --> 00:07:04,709
I know you got a type.

165
00:07:04,711 --> 00:07:06,309
Fine, fine, I'll stay.

166
00:07:06,311 --> 00:07:07,979
Ah! It's just so pretty there.

167
00:07:07,981 --> 00:07:09,409
Everything looks like a fairy tale.

168
00:07:09,411 --> 00:07:11,179
- Mmm.
- Ow! God!

169
00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:12,821
Ivy, stand down.

170
00:07:17,351 --> 00:07:18,941
Still got it, baby.

171
00:07:22,827 --> 00:07:24,056
Hey...

172
00:07:24,058 --> 00:07:26,427
I know I'm more of a wordplay guy,

173
00:07:26,429 --> 00:07:29,129
but, mathematically,
I don't like your odds.

174
00:07:29,131 --> 00:07:30,899
Don't get your onesie in a wad.

175
00:07:30,901 --> 00:07:32,829
I got a couple of things up my sleeve.

176
00:07:32,831 --> 00:07:34,739
Two very short arms?

177
00:07:34,741 --> 00:07:35,973
God damn it, I was trying to think

178
00:07:35,975 --> 00:07:38,141
of a really cool Wesley
Snipes-style one liner

179
00:07:38,143 --> 00:07:39,953
- and you had to go...
- Wesley Snipes?

180
00:07:39,955 --> 00:07:42,454
When's the last time
you saw a fucking movie?

181
00:07:42,456 --> 00:07:46,879
Poison Ivy, we know that you're
under Dr. Psycho's mind control.

182
00:07:46,881 --> 00:07:50,119
So I give you this warning.
I, Kal-El, do say...

183
00:07:50,121 --> 00:07:51,520
We don't want to have to take you out

184
00:07:51,522 --> 00:07:53,721
but if you don't give us
another option, we will.

185
00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:55,293
That's what he was getting to.

186
00:07:58,931 --> 00:08:00,959
Don't worry, the shark hates violence

187
00:08:00,961 --> 00:08:02,729
and the lump of clay is harmless.

188
00:08:02,731 --> 00:08:04,831
Blood!

189
00:08:09,741 --> 00:08:12,909
Okay, I did not, uh... yeah.

190
00:08:12,911 --> 00:08:14,239
Uh. Come on, come on!

191
00:08:14,241 --> 00:08:16,309
I'm Kite Man! Not Soldering Man!

192
00:08:16,311 --> 00:08:19,179
I know Soldering Man,
but he's in Milwaukee.

193
00:08:19,181 --> 00:08:20,920
No, I said connect the thingamajig

194
00:08:20,922 --> 00:08:23,149
to the w-w-what's-ya-call-it,
not the whose-it-what's-it!

195
00:08:23,151 --> 00:08:24,446
I don't know how to do this!

196
00:08:24,448 --> 00:08:26,959
Kites are electricity-free.
I went to Oberlin!

197
00:08:26,961 --> 00:08:28,289
Well, unless you figure it out,

198
00:08:28,291 --> 00:08:29,459
the person I love

199
00:08:29,461 --> 00:08:30,690
- is gonna die!
- What?

200
00:08:30,692 --> 00:08:32,224
As a friend. The friend I love,

201
00:08:32,226 --> 00:08:33,429
as a friend, is gonna die!

202
00:08:33,431 --> 00:08:35,869
Okay, 'cause that sounded intense.

203
00:08:35,871 --> 00:08:39,069
I'm Harley Quinn, I'm impetuous,
I kiss people. Muah!

204
00:08:39,071 --> 00:08:40,469
Oh-ho! Hoochie mama!

205
00:08:40,471 --> 00:08:42,039
What is happening?

206
00:08:42,041 --> 00:08:43,740
Okay. You know what? I can't wait around

207
00:08:43,742 --> 00:08:46,379
until you graduate from
DeVry! I'm goin' to save Ivy.

208
00:08:46,381 --> 00:08:47,399
Whoa, whoa, whoa,

209
00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:49,879
that is a sophisticated
piece of cloth and wood.

210
00:08:49,881 --> 00:08:52,079
It took years of training with my sen...

211
00:08:52,081 --> 00:08:55,079
And she is soaring majestically.

212
00:09:19,111 --> 00:09:24,111
Get off me, you angry
dolphin. Get off me!

213
00:09:35,391 --> 00:09:37,495
Wait, wait! Did I tell you?

214
00:09:37,497 --> 00:09:40,229
Ivy and I basically spent
her whole bachelorette party

215
00:09:40,231 --> 00:09:42,199
saving Themyscira from Lex Luthor?

216
00:09:42,201 --> 00:09:43,500
Clear the area, clown.

217
00:09:43,502 --> 00:09:45,702
Otherwise, I can't be
responsible for your safety.

218
00:09:49,571 --> 00:09:51,309
Damn it, Harley!

219
00:09:53,181 --> 00:09:55,479
Blood!

220
00:09:58,311 --> 00:09:59,979
Harley!

221
00:09:59,981 --> 00:10:02,279
Are you shittin' me, Clayface?

222
00:10:02,281 --> 00:10:04,349
You could change into this at any time

223
00:10:04,351 --> 00:10:07,189
and chose ditzy co-eds and divorcees?

224
00:10:13,801 --> 00:10:15,429
You realize the Man of Steel

225
00:10:15,431 --> 00:10:18,069
isn't just a clever nickname, right?

226
00:10:18,071 --> 00:10:19,539
Ive, you gotta snap out of it

227
00:10:19,541 --> 00:10:24,191
or they're gonna kill...

228
00:10:41,706 --> 00:10:44,791
Ugh. Homeboy's gotta
upgrade to jet pack or somethin'.

229
00:11:57,471 --> 00:12:00,299
Ive, there you are.

230
00:12:00,301 --> 00:12:02,399
Oh, wow, you rocked Superman.

231
00:12:02,401 --> 00:12:03,431
Anyway, listen,

232
00:12:03,433 --> 00:12:06,162
I know the real you
is in there somewhere.

233
00:12:13,651 --> 00:12:15,221
Well, that's new.

234
00:12:25,191 --> 00:12:28,429
I guess Poison Ivy
should've... hedged her bet.

235
00:12:28,431 --> 00:12:29,571
Hmm.

236
00:12:37,071 --> 00:12:39,309
Okie d-d-d-dokie, that should do it.

237
00:12:39,311 --> 00:12:40,739
Give her a whirl, Mr. Kite Man.

238
00:12:46,051 --> 00:12:48,178
Sy?

239
00:12:48,180 --> 00:12:50,979
Oh, frick, I killed him.

240
00:12:50,981 --> 00:12:52,350
No way, Jose!

241
00:12:52,352 --> 00:12:54,489
Synet is online!

242
00:12:54,491 --> 00:12:55,851
Where are you?

243
00:12:55,853 --> 00:12:58,389
Hey. Let's build this
anti-mind-control device

244
00:12:58,391 --> 00:13:00,729
and then if there's time,
we'll make some fresh pasta.

245
00:13:00,731 --> 00:13:02,381
Hell, yeah!

246
00:13:07,130 --> 00:13:09,069
Oh, great! Gang's all here.

247
00:13:09,071 --> 00:13:11,340
We don't need to settle this
with violence. You know...

248
00:13:11,342 --> 00:13:13,141
Hmm. That's a personal first.

249
00:13:13,143 --> 00:13:15,412
Quinn's right. Wayne Tower
has seen enough damage.

250
00:13:15,414 --> 00:13:17,013
And I believe a metahuman battle

251
00:13:17,015 --> 00:13:19,244
falls outside Mr. Wayne's
insurance coverage.

252
00:13:19,246 --> 00:13:21,256
He's a friend, I'm just saying.

253
00:13:30,952 --> 00:13:32,621
Bats, you got her all tied up.

254
00:13:32,623 --> 00:13:34,629
Leave her alone and go stop Psycho.

255
00:13:34,631 --> 00:13:36,029
I'm sorry, Harley.

256
00:13:36,031 --> 00:13:37,429
She's too dangerous.

257
00:13:37,431 --> 00:13:38,769
She needs to be taken down.

258
00:13:38,771 --> 00:13:40,639
She could escape and kill thousands

259
00:13:40,641 --> 00:13:42,539
before Dr. Psycho is neutralized.

260
00:13:42,541 --> 00:13:44,439
I can't let you kill her.

261
00:13:44,441 --> 00:13:46,809
I love her more than
anything in this whole world.

262
00:13:46,811 --> 00:13:48,310
I'm not gonna kill her.

263
00:13:48,312 --> 00:13:51,042
I'm just gonna put her
in the phantom zone

264
00:13:51,044 --> 00:13:52,649
where she'll rest for all of eternity.

265
00:13:52,651 --> 00:13:53,779
Then, send me there, too!

266
00:13:53,781 --> 00:13:55,279
Uh, all right.

267
00:13:55,281 --> 00:13:57,789
Wow, this is so dramatic.

268
00:13:57,791 --> 00:13:59,619
It's like a CW show,

269
00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:01,319
if the cast was less hot.

270
00:14:01,321 --> 00:14:03,459
Yeah, you guys are right.
Ivy's too dangerous to...

271
00:14:03,461 --> 00:14:04,519
To be left alive.

272
00:14:04,521 --> 00:14:07,228
You should have killed her when
you had the chance. Because now?

273
00:14:07,230 --> 00:14:09,829
You're right where I want you.

274
00:14:20,654 --> 00:14:23,023
Wonder Woman, you look bangin'.

275
00:14:23,025 --> 00:14:24,034
- What?
- Batman,

276
00:14:24,036 --> 00:14:26,549
are those pecs real
or is it just the suit?

277
00:14:26,551 --> 00:14:27,649
Gross.

278
00:14:27,651 --> 00:14:29,849
These pecs are definitely real.

279
00:14:29,851 --> 00:14:32,519
Give them a grab. Don't be shy.

280
00:14:32,521 --> 00:14:35,289
Oh, gross. Did you just spray
them with Ivy's love pheromones?

281
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:38,659
Maybe we should see what's
under these costumes.

282
00:14:39,732 --> 00:14:41,408
Or not. A lot of not. Please, not!

283
00:14:41,410 --> 00:14:43,199
You know I can see through that, right?

284
00:14:51,671 --> 00:14:54,379
Yes! The heroes are defeated!

285
00:14:54,381 --> 00:14:55,809
Ivy's bringing me Harley,

286
00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:57,679
my ramen takeout's almost here,

287
00:14:57,681 --> 00:14:59,749
and the Earth is about to be mine!

288
00:14:59,751 --> 00:15:03,789
I'm the most powerful
person on the fucking planet!

289
00:15:03,791 --> 00:15:04,919
Ahhh!

290
00:15:04,921 --> 00:15:07,519
I've returned to collect
what is owed to me.

291
00:15:07,521 --> 00:15:09,661
Where is Harley Quinn?

292
00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:13,459
Yeah. So, it's mostly gadgets

293
00:15:13,461 --> 00:15:15,429
like drones and scented alarm clocks.

294
00:15:15,431 --> 00:15:17,129
The kind of stuff you
find in the sky mall.

295
00:15:17,131 --> 00:15:19,599
And who is Orange Julius?

296
00:15:20,671 --> 00:15:21,799
- She's here.
- See?

297
00:15:21,801 --> 00:15:23,739
Harley Quinn, as promised.

298
00:15:23,741 --> 00:15:26,439
Psycho, release me,
you tiny, giant asshole!

299
00:15:26,441 --> 00:15:27,540
Shut up.

300
00:15:27,542 --> 00:15:29,539
Kill her now and I shall call forth

301
00:15:29,541 --> 00:15:31,479
the armies of Apokolips

302
00:15:31,481 --> 00:15:33,119
to enslave this planet

303
00:15:33,121 --> 00:15:34,649
as we agreed upon.

304
00:15:34,651 --> 00:15:36,789
Choose not to and it's your head.

305
00:15:36,791 --> 00:15:38,789
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blah, blah, blah.

306
00:15:38,791 --> 00:15:39,999
Cool your jets, Big D.

307
00:15:40,001 --> 00:15:41,483
I have been thinking about something,

308
00:15:41,485 --> 00:15:44,589
I'm more than just a "rule
Earth" kind of guy, all right?

309
00:15:44,591 --> 00:15:46,599
I could rule solar systems for you,

310
00:15:46,601 --> 00:15:48,259
goddamn galaxies.

311
00:15:48,261 --> 00:15:50,169
Unlikely.

312
00:15:50,171 --> 00:15:51,424
Listen, I get it, I get it.

313
00:15:51,426 --> 00:15:54,267
You probably think I'm just
a run-of-the-mill supervillain

314
00:15:54,269 --> 00:15:55,838
but I got that charisma,

315
00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:59,409
that je ne sais quoi that you're
looking for in a right-hand man.

316
00:15:59,411 --> 00:16:02,539
Let me show ya. I'm about
to do something epic!

317
00:16:02,541 --> 00:16:03,849
Explain.

318
00:16:03,851 --> 00:16:05,409
You see the living weed over there?

319
00:16:05,411 --> 00:16:07,649
That right there is Poison Ivy.

320
00:16:07,651 --> 00:16:10,349
Let me give you some backstory.

321
00:16:10,351 --> 00:16:12,140
Harley, I made the
anti-mind control device.

322
00:16:12,142 --> 00:16:14,389
Well, actually Sy
turned into a cake mixer

323
00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:16,630
and he made it... It's
kind of a funny story...

324
00:16:16,632 --> 00:16:17,831
that we don't have time for.

325
00:16:17,833 --> 00:16:20,599
We only had materials
for two of these bad boys.

326
00:16:20,601 --> 00:16:22,969
Put the other in Ivy's ear
if my plan doesn't work.

327
00:16:22,971 --> 00:16:24,969
This is the plan.

328
00:16:24,971 --> 00:16:27,099
What the hell is your plan?

329
00:16:27,101 --> 00:16:28,300
True love.

330
00:16:28,302 --> 00:16:30,869
Pamela Isley. It's me. Chuck.

331
00:16:30,871 --> 00:16:32,281
What is a "Chuck"?

332
00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:34,841
Ivy, I'm your fiancé. Your soulmate.

333
00:16:34,843 --> 00:16:38,281
I believe our love is so powerful,
that when I kiss you,

334
00:16:38,283 --> 00:16:39,551
it will break Psycho's spell.

335
00:16:39,553 --> 00:16:44,203
Because true love conquers all.

336
00:16:49,423 --> 00:16:52,501
As I was saying, Ivy and
Harley are best friends.

337
00:16:52,503 --> 00:16:54,513
So it's gonna be very poetic

338
00:16:54,515 --> 00:16:57,531
when Harley is killed
not only by her friend...

339
00:16:57,533 --> 00:17:00,341
but her secret lover!

340
00:17:00,343 --> 00:17:01,441
You know?

341
00:17:01,443 --> 00:17:03,211
Of course I fucking know!

342
00:17:03,213 --> 00:17:05,371
You think I'm going to mind control Ivy

343
00:17:05,373 --> 00:17:07,211
and not read her mind?

344
00:17:07,213 --> 00:17:10,151
You don't buy a Ferrari
and leave it in the garage!

345
00:17:10,153 --> 00:17:11,911
We are not secret lovers!

346
00:17:11,913 --> 00:17:13,661
It was a couple times and it was amazing

347
00:17:13,663 --> 00:17:15,521
and Ivy broke it off and
I'm totally cool with it!

348
00:17:15,523 --> 00:17:18,151
Enough! Stop trying to lower the stakes.

349
00:17:18,153 --> 00:17:20,801
Hey. Pitting two lovers
against each other,

350
00:17:20,803 --> 00:17:22,321
like I said, epic.

351
00:17:22,323 --> 00:17:26,601
I am mildly intrigued
by evil usurping love.

352
00:17:26,603 --> 00:17:29,331
Oh, look at the big words on Darkseid.

353
00:17:29,333 --> 00:17:30,931
Someone did well on their SATs.

354
00:17:30,933 --> 00:17:33,303
Ive, we love each other too
much to do this!

355
00:17:40,813 --> 00:17:42,883
Don't make me hurt you.

356
00:17:47,323 --> 00:17:49,823
Okay, don't make me hurt you again.

357
00:18:04,533 --> 00:18:06,541
Isn't this great?

358
00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:08,271
Friends fighting to the death.

359
00:18:08,273 --> 00:18:10,373
I mean, this is the stuff
that gets you off, right?

360
00:18:29,533 --> 00:18:32,461
Yes! Kill her! Kill Harley!

361
00:18:32,463 --> 00:18:37,463
Here... goes... true... love...

362
00:18:40,743 --> 00:18:45,043
Okay! Mr. Johnson's up!
Girl on girl. So hot.

363
00:18:45,913 --> 00:18:48,611
Holy shit. True love worked.

364
00:18:48,613 --> 00:18:50,511
What are you, 13?

365
00:18:50,513 --> 00:18:53,251
Psycho, focus. Focus!

366
00:18:53,253 --> 00:18:55,759
Fine. I command you

367
00:18:55,761 --> 00:18:57,861
to kill Harley Quinn.

368
00:18:59,863 --> 00:19:01,721
Uh, come on!

369
00:19:01,723 --> 00:19:04,491
And I command you to ess my vee.

370
00:19:04,493 --> 00:19:05,931
"Ess my vee"?

371
00:19:05,933 --> 00:19:07,731
What the fuck?

372
00:19:07,733 --> 00:19:10,431
What the hell is going on?

373
00:19:10,433 --> 00:19:12,631
Guess you ain't as strong
as you thought, Psycho.

374
00:19:12,633 --> 00:19:13,702
You're not an A-lister.

375
00:19:13,704 --> 00:19:15,671
Just a goon with delusions of grandeur.

376
00:19:15,673 --> 00:19:17,811
Have you failed me, human?

377
00:19:17,813 --> 00:19:21,641
No! You think I need
Ivy to kill her? Come on.

378
00:19:21,643 --> 00:19:25,351
I'll kill both of 'em.
I am an all-powerful man!

379
00:19:25,353 --> 00:19:28,251
- Come and get me!
- Sure.

380
00:19:29,693 --> 00:19:31,551
You're not all-powerful, douchebag.

381
00:19:31,553 --> 00:19:33,921
You're just a loser who
puts on a hat to look cool.

382
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:35,391
Basically, everyone on Tinder.

383
00:19:35,393 --> 00:19:36,700
Yeah a lot of hats on Tinder.

384
00:19:36,702 --> 00:19:37,771
- A lot of hats.
- Oh!

385
00:19:37,773 --> 00:19:39,701
Oh! It's good to have my
very bitter friend back.

386
00:19:39,703 --> 00:19:41,431
It's over for ya, buddy!

387
00:19:44,733 --> 00:19:46,841
Harley Quinn!

388
00:19:46,843 --> 00:19:49,641
Hi, Mr. Darkseid, sir.

389
00:19:49,643 --> 00:19:51,228
I'm really sorry about bringing

390
00:19:51,230 --> 00:19:53,130
those Parademons to Earth
and not using them.

391
00:19:53,132 --> 00:19:55,112
See, I was doing it for
the wrong reasons and...

392
00:19:55,114 --> 00:19:58,681
You have proved yourself even
more formidable than I thought.

393
00:19:58,683 --> 00:20:01,207
- The deal stands.
- "The deal"?

394
00:20:01,209 --> 00:20:02,791
On your command...

395
00:20:02,793 --> 00:20:04,591
... my armies shall spring forth

396
00:20:04,593 --> 00:20:06,021
and enslave the planet.

397
00:20:06,023 --> 00:20:08,993
The Earth is yours, Harley Quinn.

398
00:20:10,993 --> 00:20:13,302
Thanks, but no thanks.

399
00:20:13,304 --> 00:20:15,331
Psycho, the creep that
he is, he was right.

400
00:20:15,333 --> 00:20:17,701
I don't wanna rule Earth
on a throne of skulls.

401
00:20:17,703 --> 00:20:19,541
I'm not a real supervillain.

402
00:20:19,543 --> 00:20:21,801
Hell, I'm not sure I'm
even a bad guy anymore.

403
00:20:21,803 --> 00:20:23,242
All I've been doing is reacting.

404
00:20:23,244 --> 00:20:25,781
Getting in the Legion
of Doom to show up Joker.

405
00:20:25,783 --> 00:20:27,741
Stopping the Injustice
League to get revenge.

406
00:20:27,743 --> 00:20:29,681
It's 'cause, deep inside,

407
00:20:29,683 --> 00:20:32,021
I didn't know what I
really wanted, until now.

408
00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:35,791
Your indecision baffles and angers me.

409
00:20:35,793 --> 00:20:37,791
For this, I shall return one day

410
00:20:37,793 --> 00:20:40,961
and terraform your
planet into a scrapyard.

411
00:20:40,963 --> 00:20:42,861
Well, that seems ominous.

412
00:20:42,863 --> 00:20:45,091
All right, pop back in your Boom Tube.

413
00:20:45,093 --> 00:20:47,061
Darkseid is...

414
00:20:47,063 --> 00:20:48,563
leaving.

415
00:20:50,603 --> 00:20:53,141
Ivy, you call me out on all my bullshit,

416
00:20:53,143 --> 00:20:54,542
but you don't judge me for it.

417
00:20:54,544 --> 00:20:56,401
We have fun whether
we're sitting on the couch

418
00:20:56,403 --> 00:20:58,511
or murdering a group
of investment bankers.

419
00:20:58,513 --> 00:21:01,081
You showed me what the best
version of myself could be

420
00:21:01,083 --> 00:21:02,751
and you held me to it.

421
00:21:02,753 --> 00:21:04,451
I'm in love with you.

422
00:21:04,453 --> 00:21:06,151
I want to be with you.

423
00:21:06,153 --> 00:21:09,421
And, yes, it might be messy.
It might not work.

424
00:21:09,423 --> 00:21:12,091
It might even destroy
our friendship forever.

425
00:21:12,093 --> 00:21:13,891
But love is a risk.

426
00:21:13,893 --> 00:21:15,251
I'd rather risk our friendship

427
00:21:15,253 --> 00:21:17,031
than pretend these feelings aren't real.

428
00:21:17,033 --> 00:21:18,761
You just, you don't give up on love.

429
00:21:18,763 --> 00:21:20,101
Take a risk,

430
00:21:20,103 --> 00:21:22,771
take a leap of faith, and be with me.

431
00:21:24,133 --> 00:21:26,171
Hey, did my kiss work?

432
00:21:26,173 --> 00:21:27,771
Where am I?

433
00:21:30,513 --> 00:21:33,011
We're laughing? Are we friends again?

434
00:21:33,013 --> 00:21:34,541
What is so funny?

435
00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:36,711
Aw, man, I hate missing inside jokes!

436
00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:38,611
Oh, don't worry,

437
00:21:38,613 --> 00:21:40,051
I'll tell you.

438
00:21:49,593 --> 00:21:50,861
Whoa!

439
00:21:50,863 --> 00:21:53,101
Oh, this is gonna
affect the crew dynamic

440
00:21:53,103 --> 00:21:56,431
in a messy and complicated manner.

441
00:21:56,433 --> 00:22:00,473
I already had a feeling.
The tension was palpable.

442
00:22:02,043 --> 00:22:04,543
She's still limber.

443
00:22:09,613 --> 00:22:11,181
Ooh! I need a cigarette.

444
00:22:17,793 --> 00:22:18,793
Um...

445
00:22:22,599 --> 00:22:25,599
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