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www.subtitulamos.tv

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_

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Hello, Mr. Huntsman.

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Good evening, Snow White.

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Would you like to try
one of my congo bars?

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Well, I guess I can
start my diet tomorrow.

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Oh, my god!

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This is the best thing
I've ever eaten in my life!

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It tastes almost
as good as you look...

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Amazing.

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Oh, Huntsman.

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That little tramp!

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There's no way my daughter,
Snow White,

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makes better congo bars
than me, the Queen!

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Mirror Max, wake your
dimwitted ass up!

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Hi, Queenie.

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How's it going?

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You want to play UNO?

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First one to piss
their pantaloons wins.

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No, I don't want to play UNO.

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I need you to...

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Okay. Okay.

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I'll play one
quick round of UNO.

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Yippee!

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Yay!

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Yay, you win. Now listen!

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Who's the best congo bar maker
of them all?

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Is it me?

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Let me think!

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It is your daughter, Snow White,

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who makes the best
congo bars in Villardia.

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And she's also hotter than you.

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I can't stand for this!

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I know.

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If I eliminate her,

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then I'll be the best congo
bar maker in Villardia!

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So, yeah, I know a little

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acai bowl place in Koreatown.

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- Oh, huntsman.
- I don't know.

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Maybe we could ride a little
lime over, grab a bite.

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- Huntsman!
- So sorry, my queen.

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Uh, I was just talking
to your generous

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and lovely daughter, snow white.

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Have you tried her congo bars?

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They are delicious.

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Follow me.

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Acai, lime, 7:30. See you then.

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Now!

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I have a little job for you.

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Should be easy.
Should be quick.

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That's what I'm here for.

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I want you to take my daughter

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for a walk in the woods.

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My pleasure.

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She's smart. She's funny.
She makes great congo bars.

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And then, you know those
lumberjack machines?

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Yeah.

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You mean wood chippers?

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Yes. That's it!

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I want you to put her
in one of those.

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Just chop her up real good.

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What?!

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Now, do it!

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Or, it'll be you
in that lumberjack machine.

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Anything for my queen.

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Good.

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Oh, and, uh, bring me back
a ziploc bag full of her chunks,

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just to prove
that you did it, okay?

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Yes, my queen.

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Going for a walk in the woods was
such a good idea, Mr. Huntsman.

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I told you, c-call me Mike.

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Hey, do you hear that?

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Sounds like a kitten meowing.

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Uh, let's, uh, check it out.

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A lumberjack machine?

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Some poor animal
is stuck inside.

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- I can't do it!
- _

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I can't do it!

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It's just a tape recorder
making that sound.

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Can you believe that, Mike?

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Mike?

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- I just can't do it!
- Mike?

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I love you, Snow White!

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Mike?

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Listen! Yo!

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Your mom's insanely jealous of your
congo bars, and wants you dead!

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You have to hide!

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- What?
- Your moms wants you dead.

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You got to get out of here...
And never come back.

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There's only
one place to hide...

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The dwarf resistance!

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- What?
- The dwarf resistance!

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Get the fuck out of here!

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If the queen finds out
I let Snow white go,

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she'll put me in a dungeon,
and torture me for years!

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And she'll never torture me, 'cause
I won't give her the pleasure!

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Goodbye, Snow White!

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? Two, four, six, eight ?

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? Killing the Queen
will be really great ?

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? Ten, six, two, one ?

101
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? Killing the Queen
will be lots of fun ?

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? Two, four, six ?

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Holy shit!

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It's Snow White!

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Execute her!

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No! Please!

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I just escaped
from the evil queen.

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She was trying
to have me killed!

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How do we know that?

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She was jealous
of my congo bars.

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Try one.

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This is the best
congo bar I've ever had.

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Nobody who makes congo bars this
good could be a liar.

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She's a jealous queen.

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Well, if Roach believes her,
I believe her.

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Okay, Snow White.
We believe you.

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What are you tiny women doing
down in this canyon?

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We're a militia.

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Yeah.
We're part of D-U-M, DUM...

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Dwarves usurping the monarchy.

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And we're gonna
take down the evil queen,

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and set the people free!

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I hate my mother, too.

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What do you say I join
your little group?

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No offense.

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What can you do for us?

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Can you fire a gun,
or throw an ax?

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No. But I can make you
nutritious congo bars

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to give you the energy
to throw axes,

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fire machine guns,
and hurl grenades.

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Whisper, whisper, whisper.

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Whisper, whisper, whisper.

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Welcome to DUM, Snow White.

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? We're gonna watch
the queen die ?

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? We'll chop off her head,
and burn her till she's dead ?

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? We're gonna watch
the queen die ?

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? We'll chop off her feet,
and burn her in the street ?

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I love this song.

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? We'll burn her rear,
and the people will cheer ?

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Let's go over our plan
one more time.

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We're gonna disguise ourselves

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as the president of the
Congo Bar Association.

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Then, we're gonna present
the queen

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- with an award.
- _

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And once she accepts the prize,

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we'll detonate a bomb
inside of this trophy,

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- murdering the queen,
- _

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and allowing us
to overtake the castle!

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How can I help?

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By staying here,

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and baking us
a congo bar victory feast!

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Yes, sir!

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Who's there?!

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It is I, Rodrigo Jones,

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the president of the Congo Bar
Association of Villardia.

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Peace and love! Peace and love!

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I am here to give
the queen an award

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for making the best congo bars
in all of Villardia.

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Oh, my god. Really?!

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Finally, I'm being recognized
for my congo bars! Ha!

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Guards, escort him
to the courtyard.

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I am honored today
to be here today

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to present you this honor

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- with our most
prestigious honor today. - _

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It's in his box, your honor.

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Open it up!

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I've been waiting my whole life
for this moment!

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What is this?

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This is an odd trophy
for congo bar making.

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What's happening?

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Why isn't it detonating?

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It's not detonating
because it appears

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that somebody doused the
detonator in congo bar batter.

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Why is it covered
in congo bar batter?

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How could that have happened?

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? Now the dwarves will die ?

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What are you doing?

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I mean, uh, what are you
doing to me?

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This is against
my showman rights.

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Snow White, but... but why?

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We thought you were one of us.

182
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We thought you were
a member of DUM.

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It was all part of our scheme.

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I was sent by my mother
to infiltrate

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your treasonous militia,

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and undermine your mission.

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We thought she was
gonna kill you

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because of her
congo bar jealousy!

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That was all bullshit to make you
believe I was against the queen.

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And you fell for it.

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You are all very small traitors!

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I sentence you to be
burned at the stake!

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Take them away, guards!

194
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I told you not to trust anyone
over 5 feet tall!

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I love you, mom.

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I love you, too, honey.

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I do declare that you both make

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the best congo bars
in the kingdom.

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Now, who wants to play UNO?

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First one to piss
their pantaloons wins.

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