1 00:00:00,664 --> 00:00:03,664 *CREDITS* 2 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:07,280 Have the photos come through? 3 00:00:08,386 --> 00:00:09,426 They have. 4 00:00:10,585 --> 00:00:11,690 Some. 5 00:00:12,420 --> 00:00:14,060 Simon says we have to pick three. 6 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:20,240 Uh, 2089. 7 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:24,196 - I'm not in 2089. - Oh, are you not? 8 00:00:24,539 --> 00:00:25,649 You know I'm not. 9 00:00:25,685 --> 00:00:28,457 - Hadn't noticed. - Needs to have both of us in it. 10 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:30,885 Where were you for 2089? 11 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:32,827 I don't know. Choosing a new shirt, I think. 12 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:36,365 - You chose that shirt? - Yeah, you were rude about it then. 13 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:38,085 You don't get to be rude about it now. 14 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:40,110 - Oh, was I rude about it? - Yeah, you rude about it, yeah. 15 00:00:40,146 --> 00:00:42,191 - What did I say? - You said I looked like a J-cloth. 16 00:00:42,469 --> 00:00:43,509 Ah. 17 00:00:45,780 --> 00:00:47,580 Is that make-up, too? 18 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:51,765 Yes, a little foundation, maybe. 19 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:53,285 You look pox-ridden. 20 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:57,600 Why do you do that thing with your mouth? 21 00:00:58,336 --> 00:01:00,378 - What thing? - You know, you make it... 22 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,845 sort of... sort of flat, just like a... 23 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:06,885 like a line straight across you. Like a Muppet, you know? 24 00:01:12,820 --> 00:01:13,833 I don't do that. 25 00:01:13,868 --> 00:01:16,045 Yeah, I'm looking at 20 different photos of you. 26 00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:17,765 I cannot see your teeth in one of them. 27 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:19,885 I can't see your teeth in any of these either! 28 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:21,925 Yeah, but I have a twinkle in my eyes. 29 00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:23,165 My eyes twinkle! 30 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:24,685 No, your eyes tire. 31 00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:27,328 - Tire? - Like a low-impact Gorgon. 32 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:30,140 Fuck you. 33 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:32,725 Portals onto a barren... 34 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,725 - Oh, Jesus. - ...parched, arid landscape. 35 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:37,247 I have said sorry! 36 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:39,525 And I have accepted your... 37 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:41,280 Well, it doesn't look like it! 38 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:47,405 Have you rehearsed any of it yet? 39 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:48,765 Yes, of course. 40 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:51,587 - How much of it? - It's difficult to quantify. 41 00:01:52,118 --> 00:01:53,723 Give me a page number. 42 00:01:53,759 --> 00:01:55,804 We've been starting from a more conceptual place. 43 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:59,803 - What does that mean? - Well, it's part of my process. Um... 44 00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:02,680 We've begun with a sort of freewheeling discussion 45 00:02:02,716 --> 00:02:04,841 about the play, its themes, its inner workings 46 00:02:04,877 --> 00:02:07,322 and what it might say to a 21st century audience. 47 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:08,760 You haven't done anything, have you? 48 00:02:09,075 --> 00:02:10,444 - Not a thing. - Right. 49 00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:12,725 In my defence, the business with Sam threw us off the rails. 50 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:14,480 Well, that was the business you failed to handle. 51 00:02:14,516 --> 00:02:15,928 - David said he would deal with it. - And did he? 52 00:02:16,505 --> 00:02:18,565 - Not really, no. - No. Did he make it worse? 53 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:19,787 - Yes. - All right. 54 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:22,215 - So, where are we? - Well, Sam's handled. 55 00:02:22,251 --> 00:02:25,456 He doesn't want to have anything to do with us or the play any more, 56 00:02:25,765 --> 00:02:26,954 which is good. 57 00:02:27,128 --> 00:02:28,973 David and Michael are... 58 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:30,725 - ...angry. - With you? 59 00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:31,876 Mostly with each other. 60 00:02:35,126 --> 00:02:38,776 All right, Simon. I know this means a lot to you. 61 00:02:38,812 --> 00:02:39,884 Yes, it does. 62 00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:43,205 Yeah, it's... It's a really big opportunity. 63 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:44,199 Yes, it is. 64 00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:47,653 And you promised me that you were up to it, so... 65 00:02:48,130 --> 00:02:49,160 Are you? 66 00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:52,219 - Yeah. - Then make some fucking progress! 67 00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,765 Make some fucking progress! Do something, will you, please? 68 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:55,896 Please! 69 00:02:59,802 --> 00:03:01,112 All right. Sorry. 70 00:03:01,529 --> 00:03:04,644 It's just, you know, it's fine. It's fine, what you're doing. 71 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:06,605 Anybody could do it, really. 72 00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:09,485 I... I just expected a little bit more of you, that's all. 73 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:10,587 Me, too. 74 00:03:10,623 --> 00:03:12,383 Well, you know, there's no need to... 75 00:03:14,331 --> 00:03:16,496 I don't need somebody hanging their head in shame, 76 00:03:16,532 --> 00:03:18,897 I just need somebody to do something for me, all right? 77 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:21,964 Otherwise, what's the point? What's the point of you, really? 78 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,403 - It's a good question. - Yeah. 79 00:03:23,439 --> 00:03:24,439 Well... 80 00:03:25,460 --> 00:03:27,989 All right. Well, I think this has been constructive, so... 81 00:03:28,491 --> 00:03:29,491 - Yeah? - Yep. 82 00:03:29,527 --> 00:03:30,520 Yeah. 83 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:31,680 Thanks for your time. 84 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,560 Oh, Christ. 85 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:37,490 - Janine! - What? 86 00:03:37,526 --> 00:03:38,685 I'm done here. 87 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:39,886 All sorted? 88 00:03:39,922 --> 00:03:42,092 Nope, nightmare. Fucking nightmare. 89 00:03:42,128 --> 00:03:43,648 You should have furloughed him! 90 00:03:52,678 --> 00:03:55,730 _ 91 00:03:58,085 --> 00:04:00,887 Jo is going to drop in on our session this afternoon. 92 00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:02,188 Why? 93 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:06,324 - Uh, checking on progress. - There's been progress? 94 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,044 - Plenty. - We haven't read anything yet. 95 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:09,966 - That's deliberate. - Why is that? 96 00:04:10,759 --> 00:04:14,644 We've been, um, operating from a more conceptual space. 97 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:15,845 Is Jo worried? 98 00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:17,624 - I think she just feels left out. - Left out? 99 00:04:17,660 --> 00:04:19,630 Yeah, shall we have a look at page, um... 100 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:21,360 Page ten? 101 00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:27,613 From, um... 102 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:29,964 "We do not have time for insanity." 103 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,324 - Sure. - Yep. 104 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:32,885 Whenever you're ready. 105 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:33,980 Michael. 106 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:39,085 Uh. "We do not have the time for insanity." 107 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,725 "Life is crammed with insanity." 108 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:41,845 "What the hell do you mean?" 109 00:04:41,881 --> 00:04:44,764 "Your craft should be considered a breeding ground for madness, 110 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,525 "rendering falsity as truth." 111 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:47,730 Are you going to do it like that? 112 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:49,976 Like what? 113 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:52,845 - Arch. - Can we just carry on, actually? 114 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:55,801 Michael, it's with you. "A profession of madmen..." 115 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:58,405 "You think this is a profession of madmen?" 116 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:01,165 "I think that is your mission. Give life to fantastic characters." 117 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:02,445 I'll read the stepdaughter. 118 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:05,205 "Believe me, we are some of the most interesting characters." 119 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:08,485 "Yes. And we, who have had the luck to be born as characters, 120 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:09,765 "can laugh even at death." 121 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:10,943 Can I just pause for a second? 122 00:05:10,979 --> 00:05:12,442 I've got a quick question about tone. 123 00:05:12,477 --> 00:05:13,525 - Yeah. - Yep. 124 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:16,602 - So, this dialogue is heightened. - Yeah. 125 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:17,763 - Mm-mm. - Yeah. 126 00:05:18,465 --> 00:05:20,965 My impulse is to take the heat off it. 127 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,685 Try it as natural as possible. 128 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:24,297 Try and make it sound real. 129 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:26,165 - Yeah. - Yeah. 130 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:31,110 And David... seems to be going in a different direction. 131 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:34,859 - Can we just read on? - Sure. 132 00:05:34,895 --> 00:05:36,285 Yeah, we can just save questions like that until the end. 133 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:37,405 Yeah, I would like that. 134 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:39,125 "Because we have the fortune to exist 135 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:41,725 "in a fantasy which nourishes us forever." 136 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:45,080 - "So, what do you want here?" - "Not just to live, but to be heard." 137 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:50,800 Michael, that... That's you. 138 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:53,805 I'll just do it, shall I? Um... 139 00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:55,423 "So, what do you want here?" 140 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:58,843 - "Not just to live, but to be heard." - "Forever?" 141 00:05:58,879 --> 00:06:00,445 "For however long I have, I want to be heard." 142 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,205 Are you done for the day, Michael, are you? 143 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:03,789 - For now, yeah. - I'll do both sides, shall I? 144 00:06:03,825 --> 00:06:04,714 Why's that? 145 00:06:04,750 --> 00:06:06,365 - "How can I help?" - Why's that? 146 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,807 You guys can just listen. "I want to tell our story." 147 00:06:08,843 --> 00:06:11,040 - I'm having trouble with the words. - Well, just try reading them. 148 00:06:11,076 --> 00:06:11,821 No, your words. 149 00:06:11,857 --> 00:06:13,964 We can discuss all these questions at the end. That's what it's there for. 150 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,765 - What's wrong with my words? - I'm struggling to believe them. 151 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:18,925 - There's a lot going on. - A lot going on? 152 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:20,512 - OK. - Would you try something for me? 153 00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:21,645 Oh, sure. Happy to, yeah. 154 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:22,348 Is that OK, Simon? 155 00:06:22,383 --> 00:06:24,005 I'd rather we just pushed on, actually. 156 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:26,631 Won't take a sec. Just give me "I want to be heard" again. 157 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:29,080 - "I want to be heard." - Simon? 158 00:06:30,034 --> 00:06:31,119 I thought that was great. 159 00:06:31,155 --> 00:06:33,280 - You don't think he sounds cartoonish? - Cartoonish? 160 00:06:33,316 --> 00:06:35,721 - I've thought it for a while now. - Absolutely not. No, I don't. 161 00:06:35,757 --> 00:06:37,282 It's why Georgia hasn't asked you 162 00:06:37,318 --> 00:06:38,842 - to do the audiobook for her novel. - What? 163 00:06:38,878 --> 00:06:40,884 - I'm guessing. - She sold her book? 164 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:42,805 David, it's with you. "I want to be heard." 165 00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:44,868 - "I want to be heard." - "I want to be heard." 166 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:47,205 - Please, can we carry on? - "I want to be heard." 167 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,005 - "I want to be heard!" - "I want to be heard." 168 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:50,685 - "I want to be heard!" - "I want to be heard." 169 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:52,845 - "I want to be heard!" - "I want to be heard." 170 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:55,365 But I... I want to be heard, so I'm trying to be heard! 171 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,485 Just... It's simple. "I want to be heard." 172 00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:00,645 "I want to be heard!" It's got to have something behind it. 173 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:02,245 No, it's got to come from somewhere. 174 00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:04,365 Just because you're mumbling doesn't make it good. 175 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:06,405 I speak the same language as you. You don't have to... 176 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:07,805 You're barely speaking, though. 177 00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:10,245 - You're basically whispering it. - "I want to be heard." 178 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:11,925 Let's pretend we're all human beings... 179 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,685 Yeah, who have ears that need to receive the vibrations. 180 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:17,005 It's not a hearing thing. It's sort of a feeling thing. 181 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:18,725 You know, what I'm doing makes sense. 182 00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:20,485 And what you're doing is a sort of weird... 183 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:21,605 It might sound weird to you 184 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:24,285 because you won't be used to hearing that coming out of yourself. 185 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:25,992 It's so affected, if you don't mind me saying. 186 00:07:26,028 --> 00:07:27,028 "I want to be heard." 187 00:07:27,064 --> 00:07:29,669 Isn't it interesting, Simon, that if you spend a career 188 00:07:29,705 --> 00:07:33,044 speaking in such a stilted sort of artificial way, 189 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:37,045 then hearing something that's truthful can sound affected to you? 190 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:38,343 "I want to be heard." 191 00:07:38,379 --> 00:07:40,405 It's... I mean, yeah. 192 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,005 Maybe for Theatr Clwyd. 193 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:43,052 I don't know. 194 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:47,565 - No, no, I'm just... - We'll do it all your way. 195 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,925 I'm just doing it exactly how you want to do it. 196 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:53,525 - "Ooh, listen to me!" - At least I can hear that! 197 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:56,005 At least I can hear that. Simon. Simon. 198 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:57,322 Simon. 199 00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:58,560 I mean... 200 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:10,165 Yeah, it's all completely normal, you just need to stay relaxed 201 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:11,725 and keep breathing, OK? 202 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:13,689 - It's all going to be fine. I promise. - Georgia? 203 00:08:13,725 --> 00:08:15,890 That's it. In... 204 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:17,711 - Georgia. - Out... 205 00:08:17,746 --> 00:08:18,565 You busy? 206 00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:19,805 Yeah, a little bit, yeah. 207 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:21,346 Do I sound cartoonish to you? 208 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,925 - What? - Cartoonish. 209 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:25,025 - No. - You sure? 210 00:08:25,060 --> 00:08:26,125 Yeah, I'm sure. 211 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:27,913 Yeah. That's it. 212 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:29,864 Deep breath in. 213 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:32,205 Michael doesn't think I make it sound real. 214 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:34,165 Deep breath out. What? 215 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,835 - The play. - What, is he still angry at you? 216 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,485 I've apologised. 217 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:40,925 OK, what did Simon say? 218 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:43,098 He was busy reading the other parts. 219 00:08:43,134 --> 00:08:44,565 Why was he reading the other parts? 220 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,779 Michael and I were having a discussion about tone. 221 00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:48,605 Yes, sorry, I'm still here. 222 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:51,005 - How far apart are they now? - We're doing a bit for Jo later. 223 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:53,085 - How long? - Not long, I wouldn't have thought. 224 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:54,285 Oh, you're on that... Sorry. 225 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,645 Yeah. OK. I'll phone them now. All right. Hold on one sec. 226 00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:58,240 Babe, can I borrow your phone? 227 00:08:59,377 --> 00:09:00,582 When are you talking to Jo? 228 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:02,925 - In about an hour. - OK. Well, you know, 229 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:04,525 she's got taste and all the money. 230 00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:06,148 So why don't you see what she says? 231 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:09,805 Yeah, hi. I'm phoning on behalf of Victoria Kay. She's gone into labour 232 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,765 and said you'd be able to take her to hospital. 233 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,365 - Might do a bit of writing. - Yeah, that's... That's a great idea! 234 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:15,845 Got a really good idea for this scene 235 00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:18,885 where a Scottish hero takes a shit on a Welsh twat's head. 236 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:20,665 That sounds promising. Yeah, that's the one. 237 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,525 - Did you sell your novel? - 233. 238 00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:23,477 - OK. - Georgia. 239 00:09:23,513 --> 00:09:24,565 - All right. - Did you sell your novel? 240 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:25,363 Yes, I did. 241 00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:26,805 Why would you not have told me about that? 242 00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:28,000 I didn't know how you'd react. 243 00:09:28,036 --> 00:09:29,961 I'd have been really fucking nice about it! 244 00:09:29,997 --> 00:09:31,262 You don't seem to be being fucking nice about it. 245 00:09:31,298 --> 00:09:34,370 I'd just like to point out that's exactly why I didn't tell you. OK? 246 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:38,045 - OK, I have to go now. - Where are you going? 247 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:40,165 Vicky's gone into labour. I need to go and help her. 248 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:41,765 And you're going to have to stay here. 249 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:43,165 Are you going to be OK meeting Jo? 250 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:43,963 Yes. 251 00:09:43,998 --> 00:09:45,996 Looking after the kids, cooking them dinner and getting them to bed? 252 00:09:46,032 --> 00:09:47,445 - I can manage all that. - Yeah? 253 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:48,565 How long are you going to be? 254 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:49,560 I won't be back till tomorrow. 255 00:09:49,596 --> 00:09:50,676 Oh, fine! 256 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:53,974 Beep-beep. 257 00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:55,916 - See, that's Road Runner. - I know. 258 00:09:55,952 --> 00:09:56,853 That's cartoonish. 259 00:09:56,889 --> 00:09:58,614 I can do it when I choose to do it. 260 00:09:58,650 --> 00:09:59,775 Yep. 261 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:04,000 Go on. Go and do the deed, Florence Nightingale. 262 00:10:22,238 --> 00:10:26,438 Simon tells me things have become a little bit tense between you? 263 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:29,480 No. 264 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:32,845 - Where is Simon? - Well, I'm hosting the meeting, 265 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:34,960 - and I'm not letting him in. - OK. 266 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:39,804 Um, we said we were going to read some of the play for you today. 267 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,120 If you're ready to read. 268 00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:44,075 - Sure. - Easy peasy. 269 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:47,725 Did Simon say that we haven't actually spent 270 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:49,885 - a lot of time on the actual text? - No? 271 00:10:49,921 --> 00:10:50,964 Yeah, no, 272 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:54,240 we've been operating from a more conceptual place. 273 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:57,484 - Is that you on that mug? - No. 274 00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:01,400 How serious is this? 275 00:11:03,504 --> 00:11:05,107 You don't need to put your hand up. 276 00:11:05,845 --> 00:11:07,216 Michael's being insufferable. 277 00:11:07,252 --> 00:11:09,137 - OK. - Oh! 278 00:11:09,173 --> 00:11:11,498 Let's try and be a bit more constructive. 279 00:11:11,804 --> 00:11:13,969 No, you don't have to put your hand up. 280 00:11:14,005 --> 00:11:16,325 Well, do you think that I sound cartoonish? 281 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,445 - No. - Right. Well, because Michael's upset, 282 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:22,125 he started throwing around some very unhelpful phrases. 283 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:23,565 Well, why is Michael upset? 284 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,645 Well, Michael is upset, Jo, because he didn't realise 285 00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:28,245 that he was second choice for the role, 286 00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:30,405 which... cos apparently, that has never happened 287 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:31,528 in the history of theatre ever. 288 00:11:31,564 --> 00:11:34,104 We really don't need to keep raising our hands, so... 289 00:11:34,538 --> 00:11:35,600 Michael. 290 00:11:35,636 --> 00:11:39,459 It is true that I have never been the second choice before. 291 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:44,925 Sorry, is that...? That's... 292 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,005 That's literally your complete point, is it? 293 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:47,919 I'd like it noted. 294 00:11:47,955 --> 00:11:49,520 I mean, do you see what I'm having to work with? 295 00:11:49,556 --> 00:11:51,001 Is that why you're upset, Michael? 296 00:11:51,037 --> 00:11:54,764 No, no, I'm upset because David and Simon are fucking liars. 297 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:57,445 All right. I admit it was handled badly. 298 00:11:57,481 --> 00:11:58,526 Yes. David? 299 00:11:58,562 --> 00:12:00,967 Yes, I will absolutely hold my hands up 300 00:12:01,003 --> 00:12:03,008 that I did hold some stuff back. 301 00:12:03,044 --> 00:12:05,969 The reason I did that is because of my experience of Michael. 302 00:12:06,005 --> 00:12:09,610 I knew that at this time, he would become overly sensitive. 303 00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:12,571 - Oh, fuck! Come on! - I didn't want to hold things up. 304 00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:15,132 - No, no. Let's not play the blame game! - We had limited time! 305 00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:17,004 Let's not start doing that. 306 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:20,565 - Start doing what? - Pointing fucking fingers! 307 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:23,845 You scotty! That is you on that fucking mug! 308 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:27,045 Oh, what? Oh, this mug? This mug here? This one here? 309 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,445 Yeah. Look at that! 310 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:29,443 Look at that! 311 00:12:29,478 --> 00:12:32,405 You narcissistic Scottish man boy child. 312 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:35,516 Fill this mug full of your tears and make you drink them! 313 00:12:35,551 --> 00:12:36,565 Na-na-na-na. 314 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:40,885 Let's just all take a step back. 315 00:12:42,654 --> 00:12:43,694 Yeah. 316 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:47,325 - That wasn't nice. - Look, Jo. 317 00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:48,360 Yeah? 318 00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:53,485 You know as well as I do that I add "con-creet" value to any project 319 00:12:53,521 --> 00:12:55,926 - that I'm a part of. - Sorry, you add "con-creet" value? 320 00:12:55,962 --> 00:12:58,409 - That's what I said. - "Con-creet" value? 321 00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:00,165 Is that the same as concrete value? 322 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,085 - I said concrete. - No, you said "con-creet." 323 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:03,805 - I know what I said. - You said "con-creet". 324 00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:06,365 It's funny, because I thought you were classically trained. 325 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:07,725 I thought you'd know, you know, 326 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:10,414 where to put the "em-fasis" on a word, but apparently not. 327 00:13:10,450 --> 00:13:13,488 I bring gravitas, which is very important. 328 00:13:13,524 --> 00:13:15,249 - I bring charm... - All right. 329 00:13:15,285 --> 00:13:16,770 - ...Which is more important. - Mm! 330 00:13:16,806 --> 00:13:22,324 No-one is doubting what either of you bring to the party. All right? 331 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:24,680 I just want to get this resolved. 332 00:13:25,056 --> 00:13:26,400 The play is a classic. 333 00:13:26,761 --> 00:13:29,366 You are both exceptional. 334 00:13:29,402 --> 00:13:32,482 And Simon, he really knows what he's doing, he does. 335 00:13:33,926 --> 00:13:36,211 We have a chance here to come out of all of this 336 00:13:36,247 --> 00:13:38,323 with something really special. 337 00:13:38,887 --> 00:13:42,059 If we can just resolve... Can we resolve this, please, David? 338 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:44,485 - Yeah. - Yes. Thank you. 339 00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:46,765 Yes. Michael? 340 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:49,205 Sorry, I just... You know, I just want to make sure 341 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:52,106 - that I don't get oversensitive. - Oh! Such bullshit! 342 00:13:52,141 --> 00:13:53,085 See, see! 343 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:55,765 - David needs to calm down, too. - Oh, yeah, do I? 344 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:59,565 Cos when I get overemotional, I start to sound cartoonish, don't I? 345 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:01,446 Oh, I've heard that about you as well, yeah. 346 00:14:01,481 --> 00:14:04,405 Fuck it! I wrote a scene today about me taking a shit 347 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:06,805 on your big fucking Welsh, hairy head. 348 00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:08,405 Yeah, well you've... 349 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:09,685 Oh, sh... 350 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,819 I've got to go. Sorry. I'll be back. 351 00:14:12,855 --> 00:14:15,000 I've just got to drop some shopping off for my neighbour. 352 00:14:15,036 --> 00:14:17,764 Oh, that's kind. Isn't it? That's kind of him, David? 353 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,285 No. She's blackmailing him. 354 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:20,525 Right. Why? 355 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:23,406 - Because he's a lush. - She's harmless, OK? 356 00:14:23,442 --> 00:14:24,560 And she's alone. 357 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,845 - Does she have any family? - Her children are stuck in Cardiff. 358 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:29,845 It's no trouble. I just pick up the shopping, 359 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:33,045 I drop it around at four, I ring the doorbell, out she pops. 360 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,685 We say "hello" and "hello". 361 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:35,960 And that's the end of it. 362 00:14:35,996 --> 00:14:39,684 I did it yesterday and she made me a Bara brith to say thank you. 363 00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:41,765 Oh, so it's a symbiotic relationship, then. 364 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:43,325 What's a Bara brith, Michael? 365 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:45,725 Um, it's a Welsh fruitcake. 366 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,205 Takes one to know one! 367 00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:48,579 Don't. Don't. 368 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:53,205 What are you dropping off to her today? 369 00:14:54,020 --> 00:14:55,260 Um... 370 00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:04,722 Mixed fruit, sugar, tea, mixed spice, flour and eggs. 371 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:06,640 What's she making you today? 372 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:10,640 It's another Bara brith, isn't it? 373 00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:13,000 All right. Hang on. 374 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:17,725 - Is Simon up to this? - He's terrified of you both. 375 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:18,752 Why? 376 00:15:18,787 --> 00:15:21,800 Cos you're behaving like twats. You're twats. 377 00:15:24,374 --> 00:15:25,690 Yeah. I mean, it'll be fine. 378 00:15:25,726 --> 00:15:27,405 We went through half a dozen of these in Good Omens. 379 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:28,845 How did you resolve it then? 380 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:30,786 - Battleships. - Battleships? 381 00:15:30,821 --> 00:15:31,445 Mm. 382 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:35,125 With a pen and a paper and a grid with the...? Hit and miss and...? 383 00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:36,280 Yeah. Yeah. 384 00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:40,043 You're back. 385 00:15:40,459 --> 00:15:42,184 Just telling Jo about Battleships. 386 00:15:42,220 --> 00:15:43,340 Oh, yeah. 387 00:15:45,517 --> 00:15:46,617 You all right? 388 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,843 She didn't answer the door. 389 00:15:58,730 --> 00:16:01,106 I think the world would be a much better place 390 00:16:01,131 --> 00:16:03,536 if more problems were resolved like this. 391 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:05,127 E4. 392 00:16:05,163 --> 00:16:07,724 Ooh. Miss. 393 00:16:08,013 --> 00:16:10,245 Well, it's certainly helped us over the years, hasn't it? 394 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:11,805 Do you think it's game-specific? 395 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:13,743 - We can try something else if you want? - Like what? 396 00:16:13,779 --> 00:16:16,645 - Twister. - It's too sexual. 397 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:17,720 B2. 398 00:16:18,966 --> 00:16:20,291 Is a miss. 399 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:23,151 - Chess? - Nah, it's too complex. 400 00:16:23,187 --> 00:16:26,232 - Snakes and ladders? - Oh, now, you're talking! 401 00:16:26,268 --> 00:16:27,340 Yeah. 402 00:16:27,548 --> 00:16:30,153 - Uh, D2. - Hit! 403 00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:31,714 - Oh! - Oh! 404 00:16:31,750 --> 00:16:34,670 A very palpable hit! 405 00:16:37,128 --> 00:16:40,935 I'm sorry I let the cat out of the bag about Georgia's novel. 406 00:16:40,971 --> 00:16:42,880 - It's all right. - B3? 407 00:16:42,916 --> 00:16:46,001 - Is a miss. - And that I said you were cartoonish. 408 00:16:46,037 --> 00:16:49,962 - That wasn't fair. - Well, I mean, it's not so bad 409 00:16:49,998 --> 00:16:53,563 cos I am, after all, the voice of Scrooge McDuck. 410 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:54,939 Is that...? 411 00:16:58,473 --> 00:17:00,480 - What? The voice of Scrooge McDuck? - Yeah. 412 00:17:00,516 --> 00:17:02,004 - No. - Who's that, then? 413 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:04,965 I... I have no idea. 414 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,720 That's like nothing I've ever heard. 415 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:10,757 Um, D3. 416 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:14,725 You sunk my... 417 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:15,845 I'll do it as Mickey Mouse. 418 00:17:16,116 --> 00:17:18,445 You've sunk my battleship! 419 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:20,179 Victory is mine! 420 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:26,165 Does this victory 421 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:30,027 mean we get to re-explore the composition of our credits? 422 00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:34,320 You can have it. 423 00:17:36,339 --> 00:17:37,499 She'll be fine. 424 00:17:39,799 --> 00:17:41,919 Michael, she'll be fine. 425 00:17:43,100 --> 00:17:47,100 Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian www.addic7ed.com