1
00:00:00,758 --> 00:00:03,758
*CREDITS*

2
00:00:04,750 --> 00:00:07,942
- I think I'm losing my authority.
- You have authority?

3
00:00:07,978 --> 00:00:10,456
I thought I did, but the kids are
starting to answer me back.

4
00:00:10,492 --> 00:00:12,588
Oh, it's a slippery slope.

5
00:00:12,696 --> 00:00:15,741
- Days away from mutiny.
- You wouldn't stand a chance.

6
00:00:15,777 --> 00:00:18,348
There are a lot more of
them than there are of you.

7
00:00:18,384 --> 00:00:19,372
Yeah.

8
00:00:19,408 --> 00:00:22,992
- How many have you got now?
- Ah, can't quite remember.

9
00:00:23,028 --> 00:00:25,005
There's a couple I feel like
I haven't seen for weeks.

10
00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:27,769
Did your parents punish you
for swearing?

11
00:00:27,805 --> 00:00:30,655
- Only if they caught me.
- What would've happened?

12
00:00:30,691 --> 00:00:33,485
- Depended on the severity.
- Like if it was at the low end.

13
00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:35,729
My mother made me drink soapy water.

14
00:00:36,485 --> 00:00:38,170
I don't think my kids would go for it.

15
00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:40,125
It's not supposed to be voluntary.

16
00:00:40,982 --> 00:00:42,957
- Are you sure that's not you on that mug?
- No!

17
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,000
- It looks like you.
- No.

18
00:00:44,036 --> 00:00:45,692
- What happened?
- One of them swore at me.

19
00:00:45,728 --> 00:00:46,882
- What did he say?
- She.

20
00:00:46,918 --> 00:00:49,038
- What did she say?
- You know...

21
00:00:52,257 --> 00:00:54,422
- How old is she?
- Four.

22
00:00:54,458 --> 00:00:56,823
- Does she know what that means.
- No, I don't think so.

23
00:00:56,859 --> 00:00:58,816
- She just picked it up somewhere.
- From where?

24
00:00:58,852 --> 00:01:01,004
Our eldest would be prime suspect.

25
00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:03,945
When I was a kid, my dad, if we lied,

26
00:01:03,981 --> 00:01:06,525
would make us stand in the corner
for half an hour.

27
00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:08,405
- Did it stop you lying?
- For half an hour, yeah.

28
00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:10,085
What happened with your neighbour?

29
00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:11,845
- She brought the bottles back.
- Did she?

30
00:01:11,887 --> 00:01:13,021
- Yeah.
- What did you do?

31
00:01:13,053 --> 00:01:15,365
I denied it.
I told her she must be mistaken.

32
00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:18,520
I said, "I'm happy to put them
outside my house for now

33
00:01:18,567 --> 00:01:21,245
"but I will not cover for you again."

34
00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:24,674
You lied. I think you should stand
in the corner for half an hour.

35
00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:31,120
All right.

36
00:01:41,330 --> 00:01:42,875
David knows some of this.

37
00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:46,765
Erm, before we cast you, Michael,
we were talking to somebody else,

38
00:01:46,801 --> 00:01:50,644
he's kind of a big deal and has always
wanted to do a play in London.

39
00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:52,565
I was running quite high
after Killer Joe.

40
00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:54,143
In fact it was my
idea to take it to David.

41
00:01:54,178 --> 00:01:55,165
And they got it to me.

42
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,120
Yeah, we got it to David
and David said...

43
00:01:57,156 --> 00:01:59,278
- I said yes, yes.
- So we were all ready to announce,

44
00:01:59,314 --> 00:02:02,044
then this actor got offered a film

45
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,786
so he had to drop out of the project.

46
00:02:03,822 --> 00:02:05,827
We couldn't postpone, so we had to...

47
00:02:05,863 --> 00:02:09,808
We chose to find somebody else,
and David suggested you.

48
00:02:09,844 --> 00:02:10,844
Of course I did.

49
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,405
And that film that he went
to do has been cancelled

50
00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:17,045
because of all of this,
and he has been phoning me a lot

51
00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,920
because he'd like to be involved again.

52
00:02:25,214 --> 00:02:27,760
Well, thank you for suggesting me,
David.

53
00:02:28,475 --> 00:02:32,045
Well, not just a suggestion,
it was a strong recommendation.

54
00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:34,845
I was unaware that you'd been
submitting me for roles

55
00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:36,365
- over the years.
- Advocating.

56
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:38,117
Did you get a nice bit
of commission on that?

57
00:02:38,153 --> 00:02:39,889
I just really wanted to do it with you.

58
00:02:39,925 --> 00:02:40,885
Yeah, he did, really.

59
00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:42,401
I was really thrilled when you said yes.

60
00:02:42,436 --> 00:02:43,725
Yeah, we both were, ecstatic.

61
00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:46,485
- I don't like you, Simon.
- No.

62
00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:48,084
I find you weaselly.

63
00:02:49,481 --> 00:02:50,880
I understand.

64
00:02:51,980 --> 00:02:53,000
Who is it?

65
00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:57,816
- I'd rather not say.
- Does he know about me?

66
00:02:57,851 --> 00:02:58,765
No, not yet.

67
00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:01,966
And how exactly have you
told this someone else no?

68
00:03:02,001 --> 00:03:03,045
I haven't.

69
00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:04,640
The reason being...?

70
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,360
- He scares me.
- He scares you?

71
00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:09,643
I mean, he is quite an
intimidating personality.

72
00:03:09,678 --> 00:03:10,845
I can be intimidating.

73
00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:11,842
I know, yeah, yeah.

74
00:03:11,877 --> 00:03:14,645
I'm feeling a very strong
urge to be intimidating.

75
00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:16,560
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, just resist it, OK?

76
00:03:16,596 --> 00:03:17,703
Please, please.

77
00:03:18,016 --> 00:03:21,405
Listen, I'm going
to suggest I just call him up

78
00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:24,485
and we just have a conversation,
actor to actor,

79
00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:27,405
I just tell him it's done,
he had his chance

80
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:30,053
but we have Michael now
and we are over the moon.

81
00:03:30,422 --> 00:03:32,524
Don't you feel that we should have...

82
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:35,680
we deserve a director who is

83
00:03:36,355 --> 00:03:40,320
brave enough to have difficult
conversations like that?

84
00:03:40,730 --> 00:03:41,987
Well...

85
00:03:43,596 --> 00:03:45,400
We are where we are, aren't we? So...

86
00:03:46,074 --> 00:03:48,165
These are exceptional times.

87
00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:52,677
I think we have to allow
our individual exceptionalism

88
00:03:52,713 --> 00:03:55,200
to catch up with the moment, yeah?

89
00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:59,473
Do you know how you get
people to trust you, Simon?

90
00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:02,125
- Honesty.
- Yeah, I...

91
00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:07,009
And if you can't be honest,
just don't get caught, yeah?

92
00:04:07,045 --> 00:04:08,207
Oh, hi, Lucy.

93
00:04:09,142 --> 00:04:10,467
Hi.

94
00:04:10,948 --> 00:04:14,028
- David is going to phone Sam.
- Oh, right.

95
00:04:16,300 --> 00:04:18,040
I'm not doing very good at this.

96
00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:31,605
David.

97
00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:34,165
- I can't see your face.
- Yeah, yeah, that's a choice.

98
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:35,645
I hate these fucking things.

99
00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:37,485
- What, video calls?
- Yeah.

100
00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:40,205
Everybody was happy with a fucking
phone call before all this shit,

101
00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:43,200
now suddenly they feel this need
to share a fucking close-up with me.

102
00:04:43,491 --> 00:04:44,491
Right.

103
00:04:44,527 --> 00:04:47,400
Erm, can we talk about Six
Characters In Search Of An Author?

104
00:04:48,192 --> 00:04:51,845
You know, I've been trying to get
Simon on the fucking phone for days.

105
00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:53,525
That motherfucker's not picking up.

106
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:54,528
He's a cock.

107
00:04:54,564 --> 00:04:57,113
Erm, what happened to your movie?

108
00:04:57,149 --> 00:04:59,484
- Unofficially?
- Sure. Unofficially.

109
00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:00,711
The script was a mess.

110
00:05:00,747 --> 00:05:05,565
Then the director starts fucking
the co-star. Her husband finds out.

111
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:08,361
Husband stomps his ass out.
He's in the hospital.

112
00:05:08,397 --> 00:05:11,559
That bitch goes to rehab
and we lost half our locations.

113
00:05:11,595 --> 00:05:12,680
What about officially?

114
00:05:12,716 --> 00:05:14,844
Officially they are
saying global pandemic.

115
00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:17,125
Sure. Well, silver lining, erm,

116
00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:19,467
by the sound of it. Are you still in LA?

117
00:05:19,503 --> 00:05:20,445
Yeah, for now.

118
00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:22,279
- But I'm bored as shit.
- Right.

119
00:05:22,315 --> 00:05:25,725
I've been trying to get hold of this
goddamn Simon on his fucking phone,

120
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,240
it's like I tell you,
he is not goddamn picking up.

121
00:05:28,276 --> 00:05:30,481
I know. He said you'd called.

122
00:05:30,517 --> 00:05:31,562
What?!

123
00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:34,896
- You talked to that motherfucker?
- Voicemails is all that...

124
00:05:34,931 --> 00:05:35,925
Ah...

125
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,960
Look, OK...
All right, you know, fuck it.

126
00:05:37,996 --> 00:05:40,884
I say we use the time
to work on the play.

127
00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:42,819
I get that it's strange,

128
00:05:42,854 --> 00:05:45,376
but we'll have something
while everybody else

129
00:05:45,412 --> 00:05:47,605
is running round with
their dicks in their hands, right?

130
00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:49,214
- Right, yeah.
- So what do you think?

131
00:05:49,317 --> 00:05:50,336
What do I think?

132
00:05:50,372 --> 00:05:54,304
- Erm, oh, what do I think?
- Yeah.

133
00:05:54,816 --> 00:05:56,076
I think...

134
00:05:57,669 --> 00:05:59,205
I think you're too late,

135
00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:03,165
because I think what happened is,
you left the production

136
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,645
and us in real trouble.

137
00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:08,365
You know, I get why you did that,
I understand completely,

138
00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:10,058
I'd probably have done
the same thing myself,

139
00:06:10,093 --> 00:06:11,645
but we were left to pick up

140
00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:16,800
the pieces, and we did that by
going out and getting someone else.

141
00:06:18,004 --> 00:06:21,586
So I wish you well, but we've moved on.

142
00:06:22,106 --> 00:06:23,889
Look, David...

143
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:25,760
Yep?

144
00:06:25,984 --> 00:06:32,991
Erm... You froze, so everything
after "I think" I didn't get.

145
00:06:33,027 --> 00:06:36,640
So could you, like, run through
all that shit again, please?

146
00:06:37,137 --> 00:06:38,885
Erm, right.

147
00:06:39,485 --> 00:06:41,405
I was just saying I think, um...

148
00:06:42,620 --> 00:06:43,873
I think...

149
00:06:44,361 --> 00:06:47,484
- Erm...
- What? You think what?

150
00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:49,320
I think that Jo won't allow it.

151
00:06:49,566 --> 00:06:51,200
What the fuck is his problem?

152
00:06:51,236 --> 00:06:52,999
I don't even know this fucking Joe.

153
00:06:53,035 --> 00:06:54,807
Why would that motherfucker
be mad with me?

154
00:06:54,843 --> 00:06:57,719
Well, because you left
the production, she was...

155
00:06:57,755 --> 00:06:59,720
She? It's a she?

156
00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:01,525
- Yeah.
- It's a woman named Jo?

157
00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:04,365
- Yeah.
- Like Joanne, or Josephine?

158
00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:07,763
- Um...
- Or is it just fucking plain old Jo?

159
00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:09,404
I have no idea.

160
00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:11,205
You know her, I don't
even know who the fuck she is

161
00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:14,080
- and she's pissed off with me.
- I just know her as Jo.

162
00:07:14,116 --> 00:07:16,044
I'll talk to my assistant
and I'll call her.

163
00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:18,964
Well, I wouldn't, because she
doesn't like you very much now.

164
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:23,094
She doesn't want you to derail
the show, so she went straight out

165
00:07:23,130 --> 00:07:25,200
and she hired another actor.

166
00:07:25,425 --> 00:07:27,930
- Who?
- Michael Sheen.

167
00:07:28,339 --> 00:07:30,321
Who the fuck is Michael Sheen?

168
00:07:31,386 --> 00:07:35,211
Some Welsh... British, erm...

169
00:07:35,247 --> 00:07:36,405
You'll know him.

170
00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,769
He was in G-Good Omens, we were...

171
00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:41,439
Erm...

172
00:07:41,735 --> 00:07:42,840
Frost/Nixon?

173
00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:45,765
Passengers? Twilight?

174
00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:47,796
Any of these movies
make any goddamn money?

175
00:07:47,831 --> 00:07:48,485
I...

176
00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,005
Do you want to do this with him?

177
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:53,565
Of course I don't, I worked with him
once. I want to do this with you.

178
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:56,445
I'm not, you know...
But here we are, we're stuck.

179
00:07:56,481 --> 00:07:59,926
- And... and Jo won't let us change.
- Tell you what.

180
00:08:01,167 --> 00:08:02,405
I'll call Jo.

181
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:06,885
I wouldn't. She's not easy
to talk to, and you'll...

182
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,885
She's angry, I'd let her cool down.

183
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:12,360
In the fullness of time,
when the dust is settled,

184
00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:16,841
you and me will move on and we'll
do something else, something better.

185
00:08:40,739 --> 00:08:42,801
- Sorry.
- Don't worry.

186
00:08:43,438 --> 00:08:47,800
- Got to keep a bit quiet. Nap time.
- No, I get it. Is she down yet?

187
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:50,125
No, not Lyra, Michael.

188
00:08:50,376 --> 00:08:53,285
- Michael has a nap time?
- He was a little angry earlier.

189
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,406
Yeah. I heard.

190
00:08:55,442 --> 00:08:56,515
So...

191
00:08:56,611 --> 00:08:58,600
He let off some steam in the garden

192
00:08:58,689 --> 00:09:02,165
and he sat down in the sun with
his script. Then he fell asleep.

193
00:09:02,575 --> 00:09:04,543
Yeah, David does that.

194
00:09:04,660 --> 00:09:07,145
Then he just pretends that
he was awake the whole time.

195
00:09:07,181 --> 00:09:11,245
Michael's strangely proud of it.
Claims he can sleep anywhere.

196
00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:12,680
Well, it's nice to have a hobby,
isn't it?

197
00:09:12,716 --> 00:09:16,203
Mm. How are you all doing?

198
00:09:16,566 --> 00:09:18,971
Oh, yeah, fine, fine.

199
00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:21,157
Yeah, there are seven of us so...

200
00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:24,805
- How are you?
- We are fine.

201
00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:27,565
I mean, Lyra is pretty
low maintenance so...

202
00:09:35,079 --> 00:09:37,538
- So, things could be worse.
- Hm.

203
00:09:37,925 --> 00:09:40,437
So a friend of mine
is pregnant and alone.

204
00:09:40,473 --> 00:09:41,565
Father not around?

205
00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,965
- No, couldn't get away from his wife.
- Oh.

206
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,890
She's asked me to be
her birthing partner.

207
00:09:45,926 --> 00:09:47,051
Is that allowed?

208
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:49,240
I don't know how I feel
about leaving David on his own.

209
00:09:49,276 --> 00:09:51,973
- Yeah, how's he doing?
- Good days and bad days.

210
00:09:52,650 --> 00:09:55,245
I suppose I thought these
rehearsals would help

211
00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:57,008
but it seems like more
of a hindrance so far.

212
00:09:58,489 --> 00:10:00,006
Just talking to Georgia.

213
00:10:00,244 --> 00:10:04,630
- Did you tell her I fell asleep?
- I did.

214
00:10:04,675 --> 00:10:07,035
- Well done, Michael.
- Thank you!

215
00:10:08,515 --> 00:10:10,440
David's actually started writing.

216
00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:12,605
That may give him a bit of a focus,
you know.

217
00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:14,685
- How's your novel?
- Oh, I, erm...

218
00:10:14,992 --> 00:10:16,245
I've actually sold it.

219
00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:17,954
- You what?
- What?

220
00:10:17,990 --> 00:10:19,835
Georgia sold her novel.

221
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,085
Ohhhhhh!

222
00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:24,685
- That's fantastic.
- Thanks. Thanks.

223
00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:27,285
It's actually just happened,
David doesn't know yet so...

224
00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:29,578
Oh! Mum's the word.

225
00:10:46,512 --> 00:10:48,881
- It's all fine.
- Really?

226
00:10:48,917 --> 00:10:50,787
Yeah, really. It's done, it's fine.

227
00:10:50,823 --> 00:10:51,880
What did you say to him?

228
00:10:51,916 --> 00:10:54,284
I just stood up to him.
I just told him, you know,

229
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:55,725
that he'd had his shot.

230
00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:57,840
I told him
we've got a superior actor now

231
00:10:57,876 --> 00:10:59,272
and that you weren't
going anywhere, so...

232
00:10:59,524 --> 00:11:01,963
- How did he take that?
- I mean,

233
00:11:02,253 --> 00:11:04,119
nobody likes getting bad news, do they?

234
00:11:04,376 --> 00:11:05,400
I wouldn't know.

235
00:11:05,436 --> 00:11:07,256
- Of course not.
- But you stood your ground?

236
00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:08,695
I did, I did.

237
00:11:08,731 --> 00:11:10,004
Chanelled Henry V.

238
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:13,285
When the blast of war blows in our ears,

239
00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:15,485
we imitate the actions of the tiger.

240
00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:17,005
You said that to him?

241
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:18,776
- Not out loud, no.
- No, of course not.

242
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:23,431
- Have you ever played Henry V?
- I have not, no. Have you?

243
00:11:23,467 --> 00:11:24,605
For the RSC.

244
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:30,520
Of course you did. Yes. No,
I gave the RSC my Richard II.

245
00:11:30,969 --> 00:11:32,060
I saw it.

246
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:35,480
I don't know that
I would trust Richard II

247
00:11:36,046 --> 00:11:39,840
in a formal negotiation setting, though.

248
00:11:39,876 --> 00:11:42,484
- I don't know, he's impassioned.
- That's true.

249
00:11:42,671 --> 00:11:44,224
- He's eloquent.
- Undeniably.

250
00:11:44,260 --> 00:11:45,491
Very snappy dresser.

251
00:11:45,527 --> 00:11:48,812
So history would have us believe,
but not perhaps the right

252
00:11:48,848 --> 00:11:52,392
temperamental fit for
the artistic battlefield.

253
00:11:52,428 --> 00:11:53,629
Perhaps not, no.

254
00:11:53,665 --> 00:11:55,925
What I'm saying is, I think
you channelled the right

255
00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:57,365
Shakespearean monarch.

256
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:58,685
Well, thank you very much. Yes.

257
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:00,656
I really should let
Simon know, shouldn't I?

258
00:12:00,691 --> 00:12:01,765
He'll be delighted.

259
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:03,844
Have you got a window this
afternoon for some rehearsals?

260
00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:08,120
- I'm afraid not, no, I've errands.
- Groceries?

261
00:12:08,830 --> 00:12:11,040
- Library.
- Really? Picking up or dropping off?

262
00:12:11,076 --> 00:12:13,240
Dropping off, erm, for my neighbour.

263
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:16,405
- I thought that was all dealt with.
- I thought so too.

264
00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:19,565
You denied it, you lied
to a poor little old lady.

265
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:23,485
There... there is nothing poor
or little about...

266
00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:27,880
- I'm beginning to doubt she's even old.
- Ohhh. She rumbled you.

267
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,685
She has a CCTV camera on her garage.

268
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:35,245
She was kind enough to e-mail me
a short little video clip.

269
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:37,829
What, of you with armfuls of bottles,
shoving them in her bin?

270
00:12:37,865 --> 00:12:40,240
So now I do her chores.

271
00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:45,365
You're being blackmailed
by a wee little old lady.

272
00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:47,804
Blackmail is a very strong word.

273
00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:50,205
Listen, it'll be lovely for everyone
to see you out and about.

274
00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:51,645
Lovely for the community.

275
00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:54,605
Local celebrity, Michael Sheen,
visits the library.

276
00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:59,640
Yeah, not returning books like
Passion On The Plantation.

277
00:13:00,136 --> 00:13:01,934
The Smell Of The Poacher.

278
00:13:02,222 --> 00:13:04,084
Ivory On Ebony.

279
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:05,805
There's a sort of theme, isn't there?

280
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:07,920
Michael, do you know how
to get people to trust you?

281
00:13:07,956 --> 00:13:09,714
Oh, piss off.

282
00:13:20,519 --> 00:13:22,937
- You said not to speak to Jo.
- Yeah.

283
00:13:22,973 --> 00:13:24,165
Well, I spoke to Jo.

284
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:25,170
Why did you do that?

285
00:13:25,205 --> 00:13:27,485
- Because you told me she was furious.
- She was.

286
00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:30,337
- Well, she seemed fine.
- She's quick to forgive.

287
00:13:30,748 --> 00:13:33,062
- Did you lie to me?
- No.

288
00:13:33,098 --> 00:13:35,664
Do you want to do
this play with Michael?

289
00:13:35,914 --> 00:13:36,972
No.

290
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:38,445
So tell me again.

291
00:13:38,668 --> 00:13:41,073
I want to do it with you,
that was the plan,

292
00:13:41,109 --> 00:13:43,754
that was always the plan,
I'm excited about the plan.

293
00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:45,355
Michael's fine. I mean, he's...

294
00:13:45,391 --> 00:13:47,324
He's... We get on fine.

295
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,127
- He's all right but he's not you.
- How so?

296
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,528
He's overbearing, he drinks too much.

297
00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:55,940
He thinks that Henry V
is better than Richard II.

298
00:13:56,144 --> 00:13:58,405
I've worked with him once,
I'd do anything not to do it again,

299
00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:01,565
but we're in it now,
it's too late, you know.

300
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:03,966
I know you're upset. Spare a thought
for me, I'm stuck with him.

301
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,725
But if the situation was different?

302
00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:08,765
Yeah. Well, obviously, seriously,

303
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:11,685
of course I would want to do this
with you, in a heartbeat.

304
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,088
Hello, David.

305
00:14:14,585 --> 00:14:16,959
- All right, Michael?
- Yeah.

306
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:21,085
- Back from the library?
- I am, yeah.

307
00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:22,365
All the books safe?

308
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:23,805
No major issues.

309
00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:26,565
I just wanted to give Michael
a call, you know, clear the air.

310
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:27,535
Yeah, that was good of you.

311
00:14:27,571 --> 00:14:28,951
Yeah, we had lots to talk about.

312
00:14:35,451 --> 00:14:39,337
- Has he gone?
- Yeah, that motherfucker is ghost.

313
00:14:39,373 --> 00:14:41,605
Probably tucked his tail
between his legs,

314
00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:46,248
and ran on his spineless spindly ass
down the street like a wounded dog.

315
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:48,655
Yeah, well, give him a second.

316
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,040
Is that him?

317
00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:55,593
It is, yeah.

318
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:00,959
Ohhh.

319
00:15:01,156 --> 00:15:03,571
Been nice to meet you. Big fan.

320
00:15:04,602 --> 00:15:06,457
Ah, thank you.

321
00:15:06,493 --> 00:15:08,098
Yeah. Strange circumstances,

322
00:15:08,134 --> 00:15:10,277
I can't believe our paths
have never crossed before.

323
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:16,340
Yeah, erm, we have actually...
done a movie together.

324
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:20,245
Really? What was...
You were, like, a young actor

325
00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:22,885
and you were, like, doing
background, or something?

326
00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:25,725
I had a bag over my head for some...
Well, for most of it.

327
00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:26,968
A bag over your head?

328
00:15:27,003 --> 00:15:29,485
You were torturing
me all the way through.

329
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:31,592
Oh, get the fuck out of here,
that was you?!

330
00:15:31,628 --> 00:15:33,328
- Yeah.
- You were in that film?

331
00:15:33,364 --> 00:15:34,724
- Yeah.
- Come on, man.

332
00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:36,925
That was a great fucking movie.

333
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,526
You were awesome in it.

334
00:15:38,562 --> 00:15:42,605
Hey, remember the night that
Obama won his first presidency?

335
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:45,425
- Yeah.
- We were torturing the fuck out of you.

336
00:15:45,461 --> 00:15:47,386
- Right?
- Yeah... I mean...

337
00:15:47,422 --> 00:15:48,331
That was...

338
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,893
- You need to get that?
- Yeah. Erm...

339
00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:57,376
David...

340
00:15:57,553 --> 00:16:01,924
- Listen, I know that that was cowardly.
- And you were caught.

341
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,080
- And, yeah, I was caught.
- Lying.

342
00:16:04,116 --> 00:16:05,725
Well, it's the day for it, isn't it?

343
00:16:05,761 --> 00:16:08,520
So where do we go from here, then?

344
00:16:08,556 --> 00:16:11,521
Obviously, I want to do this play
with you, but Sam has an ego

345
00:16:11,557 --> 00:16:13,842
like a fucking tour bus.
I had to manage that.

346
00:16:13,878 --> 00:16:15,963
And I managed it badly
and I got caught, OK.

347
00:16:15,999 --> 00:16:19,764
But I want to do this with you, you
have passion, you have integrity.

348
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:24,165
Sam has a mansion in the Hollywood
Hills and fucking zero imagination.

349
00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:26,150
I would do anything
not to do it with him.

350
00:16:26,702 --> 00:16:27,865
David?

351
00:16:29,190 --> 00:16:30,725
I should've seen that coming,
shouldn't I?

352
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:34,605
Yes, motherfucker, you should have.
What the fuck's wrong with you?

353
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:35,367
Sorry.

354
00:16:35,402 --> 00:16:37,038
You know how you
get people to trust you?

355
00:16:37,357 --> 00:16:38,320
Is it honesty?

356
00:16:38,356 --> 00:16:42,244
Grow a brain and a pair of balls.
Fuck you, David.

357
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:43,540
Goodbye.

358
00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:52,200
Oh, nice talking to you, Michael.

359
00:17:17,221 --> 00:17:18,548
That's half an hour.

360
00:17:26,672 --> 00:17:27,960
Shall I do it again?

361
00:17:36,026 --> 00:17:39,005
The credits will be Michael Sheen

362
00:17:39,450 --> 00:17:42,560
and that fucking liar David Tennant.

363
00:17:48,461 --> 00:17:49,901
Yeah, seems fair.

364
00:18:15,692 --> 00:18:19,692
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