1 00:00:01,570 --> 00:00:05,197 You know the human vagina can lift over 200 pounds? 2 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,489 No, uh... no, it is 20 pounds. 3 00:00:08,789 --> 00:00:11,908 I don't know, I-I saw, like, a YouTube thing about it. 4 00:00:13,617 --> 00:00:15,021 I think I got too high to do this. 5 00:00:15,041 --> 00:00:16,650 Don't say that. Are you joking? 6 00:00:16,671 --> 00:00:18,564 - Okay. It's fine. - That's so irresponsible. 7 00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:19,783 I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. 8 00:00:19,804 --> 00:00:21,713 I just, like, got freaked out, 9 00:00:21,734 --> 00:00:23,427 'cause I felt like I was gonna perform, like, a real surgery, 10 00:00:23,447 --> 00:00:25,588 so I thought I would just get, like, a little toasted 11 00:00:25,608 --> 00:00:27,369 and it would give me confidence and I would just do it, 12 00:00:27,390 --> 00:00:29,243 and I figured, you know, we're gonna write after this anyway. 13 00:00:29,264 --> 00:00:31,476 Well, yeah, we're not gonna write, like, right after this. 14 00:00:32,390 --> 00:00:33,305 We're not? 15 00:00:33,325 --> 00:00:35,893 Yeah, we're writing a show about female friendship, right? 16 00:00:35,914 --> 00:00:39,585 - Yeah. - Yeah, so don't you think we should, like, actually become friends first? 17 00:00:40,046 --> 00:00:41,480 What do you call this? 18 00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:43,982 Okay, yes, you installing my new vagina would be, like, 19 00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:45,533 an amazing beginning to an episode, 20 00:00:45,554 --> 00:00:47,319 but all I'm saying is, so far, all we've done is, like, 21 00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:49,571 sit in your apartment and talk about Dan. 22 00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:51,983 I just feel like it's kind of a no-brainer that, like, we should 23 00:00:52,003 --> 00:00:54,584 go on some adventures together before we start writing. 24 00:00:54,605 --> 00:00:57,404 - Come on, man. Can't we just... - So I was thinking, after this, 25 00:00:57,425 --> 00:00:59,598 we pack our bags, we hit the road for a few days 26 00:00:59,618 --> 00:01:01,917 and camp under the stars, we have some laughs. 27 00:01:01,938 --> 00:01:03,898 I don't know, like... what, today? 28 00:01:03,918 --> 00:01:05,222 Why not? 29 00:01:05,758 --> 00:01:07,615 I'm busy. I've got stuff to do. 30 00:01:07,636 --> 00:01:10,276 You have Dan's podcast, Dan's weekly podcast 31 00:01:10,297 --> 00:01:12,177 - you go to every week. - Come on, man, just... 32 00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:14,054 I'm just saying I'm sorry, I feel like you would have 33 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:17,511 a lot more power in your relationship if you actually had your own things going on every once in a while. 34 00:01:17,532 --> 00:01:20,152 Barbara, I understand that you represent a part of me 35 00:01:20,172 --> 00:01:23,302 that feels the need to question my very happy relationship with Dan, 36 00:01:23,322 --> 00:01:25,134 but that doesn't mean that you're right. 37 00:01:25,155 --> 00:01:27,214 I don't need to play games 38 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:29,509 and, like, you know, make myself unavailable 39 00:01:29,529 --> 00:01:31,971 to, like, prove myself to him. We're past that. 40 00:01:31,992 --> 00:01:35,159 - We poop with the door open sometimes. - Yeah, right there, right there. 41 00:01:35,179 --> 00:01:38,343 Like, we tell each other everything. Except for the fact that I, like, formed 42 00:01:38,363 --> 00:01:41,718 this unhealthy codependent relationship with his former sex doll. 43 00:01:41,739 --> 00:01:43,955 I'm, like, currently giving her a vaginal rejuvenation, 44 00:01:43,976 --> 00:01:45,963 'cause she can talk me into anything and... 45 00:01:46,134 --> 00:01:48,005 Goddamn it! Is this thing in yet? 46 00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:49,401 Yeah. It is. 47 00:01:50,681 --> 00:01:51,592 What? 48 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,093 It has been for a while. 49 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,428 Like, you can feel this? 50 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,072 Oh, yeah. 51 00:01:56,158 --> 00:01:57,306 Oh, you are such an asshole! 52 00:01:57,326 --> 00:01:59,766 Oh, Codes, a girls' trip, you and me. 53 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,268 It'll be so fun. 54 00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:04,021 We'll show Dan what an independent codependent woman you are. 55 00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:06,330 We'll let go of the things that no longer serve us. 56 00:02:06,423 --> 00:02:08,791 Wait! I want to hold on to that. 57 00:02:09,924 --> 00:02:12,900 CREDITS 58 00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:17,673 Road trip... ! 59 00:02:17,694 --> 00:02:19,453 I can't believe I let you talk me into this. 60 00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:21,538 - That looks ridiculous, by the way. - What? 61 00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:23,665 The dirty vagina you made me tie around your neck. 62 00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:25,751 Fuckin' Ed Gein-lookin' motherfucker. 63 00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:27,419 Whatever. It's so cute. You're just jelly. 64 00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:29,646 - Nah. You look insane. - As insane as the patriarchy 65 00:02:29,666 --> 00:02:31,361 upon which I'm, like, commenting? 66 00:02:31,382 --> 00:02:32,633 No, I didn't think so. 67 00:02:33,773 --> 00:02:36,250 Codes, ever since I got this new vagina, 68 00:02:36,270 --> 00:02:38,322 I honestly, like, I feel like a new woman. 69 00:02:38,343 --> 00:02:40,098 Like, my own woman. 70 00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:42,556 - That's great, Barbara. - You should try it sometime. 71 00:02:42,577 --> 00:02:44,765 What, removing my vagina and getting a new one? 72 00:02:45,655 --> 00:02:46,384 No. 73 00:02:46,405 --> 00:02:48,390 Not letting every single moment of your life be consumed 74 00:02:48,411 --> 00:02:50,108 - by your boyfriend. - What? It's not. 75 00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:51,900 Then why do you keep looking at your phone? 76 00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:53,887 No, that... I just... I wanted to make sure 77 00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:55,509 he got my text earlier, like, 78 00:02:55,530 --> 00:02:58,492 'cause he dot-dot-dotted, but then the bubble disappeared, and I just felt like... 79 00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,452 Cody! Do you fucking hear yourself? 80 00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:02,621 All you ever do is talk about Dan. 81 00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:04,944 Dan, Dan, Dan this, Dan that, I'm obsessed with Dan, 82 00:03:04,965 --> 00:03:07,042 I love Dan's dick, even when it smells like curry. 83 00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:08,919 I don't feel like I've said that before. 84 00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:10,648 How are we gonna write a feminist masterpiece 85 00:03:10,668 --> 00:03:12,374 if we can't even pass the Bechdel test? 86 00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:16,509 Oh, shit. You do know what the Bechdel test is, right? 87 00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:19,403 Yeah, Barbara, yes, I know what the Bechdel test is. 88 00:03:19,423 --> 00:03:21,337 We know the same amount of stuff. 89 00:03:21,358 --> 00:03:23,809 We're the same person. Stop trying to act like you're smarter than me. 90 00:03:24,523 --> 00:03:27,843 Created by cartoonist Alison Bechdel, it asks whether... 91 00:03:28,030 --> 00:03:31,042 Sorry. I have pee anxiety. Can you, like... ? 92 00:03:33,804 --> 00:03:36,446 It asks whether a movie or, like, a work of fiction, 93 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:39,431 um, has at least two female characters, 94 00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:42,037 and then the two characters have to talk about something 95 00:03:42,057 --> 00:03:43,658 other than a man. 96 00:03:43,679 --> 00:03:45,220 But aren't there, like, three things? 97 00:03:45,241 --> 00:03:46,957 Yeah. There's, like, more to it than that. 98 00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:50,273 I think, um, one of the things is, like... 99 00:03:50,663 --> 00:03:53,046 - um, do they both have names? - Yeah. We have names. 100 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:55,007 Yeah. I mean, mine's kind of a boy's name. I don't... 101 00:03:55,028 --> 00:03:57,421 - Yeah, I don't think that matters. - Okay. It doesn't matter. Um... 102 00:03:57,523 --> 00:03:59,815 So, then... What's the third thing? 103 00:03:59,835 --> 00:04:02,139 Isn't it just, like, that there are two women? 104 00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:04,516 - Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so one... - Yeah. 105 00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:05,934 - Are there two women? - Yeah. 106 00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:07,311 Which, you know, there are. 107 00:04:07,331 --> 00:04:10,048 - And then two, do they both have names? - They have names. 108 00:04:10,069 --> 00:04:12,533 - And three, do they talk about something other than a man? - Yeah. 109 00:04:12,554 --> 00:04:14,921 Okay. So all we have to do to pass this is just not talk about men. 110 00:04:14,942 --> 00:04:16,570 Oh, my God, we're gonna be so good at this. 111 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,386 Okay, so, Bechdel test? 112 00:04:18,406 --> 00:04:20,085 - Yes! - Starting... 113 00:04:20,106 --> 00:04:21,312 - now! - Now! 114 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:24,036 Oh, my God, we're gonna be the best feminist-y feminists 115 00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:25,804 that were ever feminists! 116 00:04:35,622 --> 00:04:37,257 Really pretty out here, huh? 117 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,695 Yeah. I love it. 118 00:04:40,340 --> 00:04:42,200 Growing up, my dad used to take... 119 00:04:42,833 --> 00:04:44,973 - What? - Oh, just like, your dad. 120 00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:46,709 He's a man, right? 121 00:04:47,598 --> 00:04:50,774 Right. Shit! Okay. Yeah, okay, start over, start over? 122 00:04:50,794 --> 00:04:52,202 - Yeah. Okay. - Okay, okay, ready? 123 00:04:52,223 --> 00:04:53,524 - Bechdel test starting... - Starting... 124 00:04:53,544 --> 00:04:55,270 - now. - now. Okay. 125 00:04:58,028 --> 00:04:59,487 Look at that. 126 00:05:00,419 --> 00:05:02,802 The fact that 53% of white women 127 00:05:02,822 --> 00:05:06,176 hated themselves enough to vote for that bloated orangutan... 128 00:05:07,130 --> 00:05:08,473 - What? - Well... 129 00:05:09,333 --> 00:05:11,667 Oh, my God, you fucking voted for Trump. 130 00:05:11,687 --> 00:05:13,301 Oh, that makes so much sense. 131 00:05:13,322 --> 00:05:15,109 What? No. No! Oh, my God. 132 00:05:15,129 --> 00:05:18,423 No, I'm saying, Trump is a man, Bechdel. 133 00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:20,217 - Oh, shit! - Right? 134 00:05:20,879 --> 00:05:22,973 Oh, my God, this is so much harder than I thought. 135 00:05:22,994 --> 00:05:24,333 I know! Jesus! 136 00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:27,432 - What? - Well, Jesus, like, that's kind of a guy, right? 137 00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:29,286 Oh, come on. Come on. 138 00:05:29,307 --> 00:05:31,596 #BechdelFail on you right now, bitch. 139 00:05:31,616 --> 00:05:33,554 No. Okay, okay, okay, come on, come on, come on. 140 00:05:33,575 --> 00:05:35,381 Ready? And... 141 00:05:35,402 --> 00:05:36,778 - Bechdel! - Bechdel! 142 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:43,267 - What's your, um... - You know... 143 00:05:43,287 --> 00:05:44,992 No. Uh, no, no, no, sorry, you go ahead. 144 00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,570 You absolutely can go. 145 00:05:47,351 --> 00:05:49,924 - I didn't have anything. - Me, neither. 146 00:05:49,945 --> 00:05:52,708 Fuck! Why is it so hard to talk about something that isn't a dude? 147 00:05:52,728 --> 00:05:54,865 I don't know! I hate this! 148 00:05:56,224 --> 00:05:58,630 We shouldn't be forcing it, you know? 149 00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:00,961 Yeah. Like, I feel like if we stop 150 00:06:00,981 --> 00:06:03,093 thinking about it, it'll just, like, come to us. 151 00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:05,345 We should just, like, think about something else. 152 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,416 Yeah, we can talk about... 153 00:06:07,436 --> 00:06:09,544 - anything else. - Yeah, like, anything. 154 00:06:09,564 --> 00:06:13,395 Yeah. I mean, we can talk about this beer and, like, the... 155 00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:15,437 store, how gross it is. 156 00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:17,273 We can talk about... 157 00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:19,414 - that woman over there. - Yes, we could totally talk 158 00:06:19,434 --> 00:06:21,528 - about the crack whore. - Oh, my God, you're so bad. 159 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:22,880 - Do you know what I'm thinking? - What? 160 00:06:22,901 --> 00:06:25,449 I feel like her discharge would be, like, booger-y. 161 00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:28,035 My God, you're so gross. I know what you're talking about. 162 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:30,046 Like, when it's, like, you could use it 163 00:06:30,066 --> 00:06:32,247 - as an adhesive for arts and crafts. Gross. - Yes! 164 00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:35,232 - It's, like, go bedazzle some shit. - Oh, my God, shut up. 165 00:06:38,562 --> 00:06:40,638 I don't know, does that seem weird? 166 00:06:40,724 --> 00:06:42,716 - What? - I don't know, just, like... 167 00:06:43,091 --> 00:06:45,135 you know, that we could be, like, talking shit 168 00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:47,349 about another woman and still pass the Bechdel test? 169 00:06:47,370 --> 00:06:48,805 Yeah, I do know what you mean. 170 00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:52,477 And, like, also, are you saying that, like, we could have one conversation? 171 00:06:52,497 --> 00:06:55,179 Like, we could talk about dudes all day, and we have one conversation about, like, 172 00:06:55,199 --> 00:06:57,328 "How many calories are in these plantain chips?" and we'd still pass? 173 00:06:57,349 --> 00:06:59,622 Yeah, we're thinking about it like we can't talk about dudes, but really, 174 00:06:59,643 --> 00:07:02,402 we just have to talk shit about a lady first, and then we can go back 175 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,867 - to talking about dudes, right? - I mean, like, we did it. 176 00:07:04,888 --> 00:07:06,601 - We totally passed! - All right! 177 00:07:06,622 --> 00:07:08,977 That is so good. Yay, we can talk about guys again, 178 00:07:08,997 --> 00:07:10,906 because I've been wanting to tell you, there's this guy... 179 00:07:10,927 --> 00:07:13,070 Open the fucking register now! 180 00:07:13,090 --> 00:07:15,911 Now! Come on, I want everything, you hear me? I want everything! 181 00:07:15,932 --> 00:07:17,938 Barbara, get down! 182 00:07:17,959 --> 00:07:20,541 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com -