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www.subtitulamos.tv

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_

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Goodbye, Mommy!

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I'm going to play with all
the wonderful creatures

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in the Enchanted Forest.

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Oh, that's wonderful,
Goldilocks.

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Just don't get lost.

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You know how years ago your dad
went for a walk in the forest,

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and he never came back.

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Please, Goldi,
just be home before dark.

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Oh, Mother, don't worry.

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I'll be back before
the moon kisses your nose.

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? Forest, forest ?

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? It's a love-fest
in the forest, forest ?

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? It's a love-fest ?

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? Look at the crab
hiding in the tree ?

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? I love him, and he loves me ?

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? Two little ducklings
eating strawberry jam ?

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? All the animals in the forest
are my fam ?

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? Forest, forest ?
? It's a love-fest ?

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? The Enchanted Forest
is such a magical place ?

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? I love the horseshoe crab
tears on my face ?

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? This is my place
to escape the human race ?

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? Forest, forest ?

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? It's a love-fest
in the forest ?

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Hurry up, boys. I'm hungry.

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Make that goddamn porridge.

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_

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And make it good.

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Mama, want me to grind up
some of these trolls

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and put them in the porridge?

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No, you half-wit!

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I want you to grind up
some of the trolls,

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and put them in the porridge!

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Y-Yes, Mama.

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You dope!
Mama loves me more.

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I'm Mama's favorite.

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No, Mama loves me best.

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Eat up, my lovable screwballs.

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We got work to do.

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Look what you did
to the porridge!

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It's too hot!

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Mama, I'm sorry.

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We just ain't as smart
as you, Mama.

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All right. Let's go down to the
creek to get some catfish piss.

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It'll cool this
disgusting shat down.

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- I love you, Mama.
- I love you more.

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Shut up!

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? Forest, forest, forest ?

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I'm lost.

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I'm pooped.

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I'm cold. I'm tired.
I'm hungry, and I'm lost.

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What's this?

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Look!

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It's somebody's house.

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I'll just walk in
without asking.

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I'm sure it's okay.

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Oh, boy! Look at this place.

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Oh, my!

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This looks like
some kind of food.

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It's porridge.

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I love porridge!

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This bowl of porridge
tastes like doo-doo.

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This bowl of porridge
tastes like pee-pee.

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This bowl of porridge
is just right!

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? Welcome to Goldilocks' body ?

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? Welcome to Goldilocks' body ?

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? Welcome to Goldilocks' body ?

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? We think you are
really great ?

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Oh, no!

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I got to caca doo doo!

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This toilet is too hard.

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Ew, yuck!

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This toilet is too soft.

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This toilet is just right.

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The toilet bit off my bum-bum.

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Yum.

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I need a new bum-bum.

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Oh, my! What's this?

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Three bum-bums
in a bum-bum hutch.

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This bum-bum is too hairy.

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This bum-bum is too stinky.

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This bum-bum is just right.

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Hooray! A new bum-bum!

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Sewing on a new bum-bum
sure makes me sleepy.

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I'm going to need
a nappy doodi doo.

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What's in here?

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Three beds!

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Yikes! This bed has crabs!

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Yuck!
This bed is full of mustard!

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This bed has
a big brain in it.

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Just what I love.

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Okay, we got the catfish piss

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to cool this porridge...

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Oh, look what you did
to the catfish piss!

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Yeah, Mama, he's a dummy.

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I told you not to be stupid,
you moron.

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It's not my fault, Mama. I slipped
in that puddle of sludge,

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but it don't matter anyway.

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Look, someone ate
all the porridge.

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What?!

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Somebody has been
sludging up the crapper, Mama.

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What?

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And someone stole
my emergency ass.

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What?!

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Boys.

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There's a stranger in the house.

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You know what to do.

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We sure do.

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_

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Follow those footprints.

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Someone slept in my bed.

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Someone slept in my bed, boys!

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Someone slept in my bed,

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and they're still in it.

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Hi, little bear!
My name is Goldilocks.

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You want to be my friend?

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Boys, let's show Goldilocks here

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what we do to unwelcome guests.

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I got her! I got her!
I got Goldilocks!

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Mama! What you doin' in there?

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You fraggin' with me old-school?

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You dummy.
You done bashed up Mama.

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You baboon-brained idiots!

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I'm sorry I ate your porridge,
sludged up your toilet,

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took your emergency bum-bum

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and slept in your big brain bed.

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Please let me go home
to my mother.

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Home? My ass.

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Hive Head, give her the bees.

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Get'r done, honeybees.

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Yikes! I don't like bees.

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Owie!

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Owie, owie, owie!

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Well, I guess I barely
made it out alive.

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I'm going home!

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Mama, we're all hooked
up together.

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Yes! We'll be connected forever.

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Shut up, you blathering bozos!

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Yikes, a bear monster!

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My golden locks!

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Yikes! I'm on fire.

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Owie, owie, owie, owie, owie!

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I'm dead.

145
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Our house is done ruined, Mama.

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She knows that, you half-wit.

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I know! I know!

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Let's go take Goldilocks' house.

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Shut up, you idiots!

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I've got a better idea.

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Let's go take Goldilocks' house.

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Good idea, Mama.
Good idea, Mama.

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? We're going to Goldi's house ?

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? We're going to Goldi's house ?

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? We're gonna take over
Goldi's house ?

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? We're going to Goldi's house ?

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Just one second.
Who is it?

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Oh, my little Goldi doo-doo.

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You're safe.

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Ouch, my eye!

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What's happening?

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? I'm a mommy puppet, la-la-la ?

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? I'm a mommy puppet la-la-la ?

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Let go of my mommy,

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you stupid poo-poo,
pee-pee bears.

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Goldi, help!

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Look, Mama, it's Goldilocks.

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She's still alive.

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Not for long.

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You hurt my mama

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and made me use bad language.

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Lunch time.

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Owie, owie, owie!

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Tastes like ass juice.

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All I did was eat your porridge.

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Boys...

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Mama!

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Brother!

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Me!

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But who?

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It is I, Goldilocks,

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your daddy.

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Daddy? Is that you?

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That's right.

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I am your porridge daddy.

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Many years ago, I was
wandering through the forest,

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and those evil bears captured me

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and turned me into porridge.

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It was through my own sheer will

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and love for you, my daughter,

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that I was able to escape
into the woods

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where I've been living
for nearly a decade

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as a half-man,
half-porridge freak.

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But why didn't you
come home years ago?

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I was too ashamed
to show my porridge-y face.

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Oh, Daddy!

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Heathcliff?

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Is that you?

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Victoria, my love!

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Oh, hooray!

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We're a family again.

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? We got a mom,
and we got a dad ?

203
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? And our daughter,
that's not bad! ?

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? We're a family ?

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? The bears tried to kill us
'cause they're mean ?

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? But we're the best family
that they've ever seen ?

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? We're a family ?

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? We're a family ?

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