1
00:00:00,083 --> 00:00:02,608
Oh, my God! Why?! Why did you do this?!

2
00:00:02,628 --> 00:00:04,610
I didn't mean to! You kept
telling me to pull harder!

3
00:00:04,630 --> 00:00:07,237
I didn't mean to break me,
you dumb piece of shit!

4
00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:09,812
Now Dan is definitely
gonna know you snooped!

5
00:00:11,510 --> 00:00:12,476
Did you...

6
00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:13,695
What?

7
00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:15,871
Did you fucking do that on purpose?

8
00:00:15,891 --> 00:00:18,093
Wha... ? Oh, my God, Cody.

9
00:00:18,343 --> 00:00:20,959
Why would I have you
break me on purpose?

10
00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:23,073
So that Dan would come home from work

11
00:00:23,093 --> 00:00:24,573
and realize you're a
crazy, jealous bitch

12
00:00:24,593 --> 00:00:27,617
and break up with you, and then
we'd live happily ever after?

13
00:00:27,710 --> 00:00:30,010
Yeah, I did it on purpose.

14
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,813
Well, great plan, man.
'Cause now you're all jacked up,

15
00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:34,640
so he might break up with me,
but he's gonna throw you away,

16
00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:35,933
so you fucked both of us.

17
00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:38,110
Have you met Dan? He doesn't care.

18
00:00:38,131 --> 00:00:40,187
For him, it's just another hole to fuck.

19
00:00:42,515 --> 00:00:45,210
CREDITS

20
00:00:47,937 --> 00:00:50,994
You're seriously going to
all this trouble to keep Dan?

21
00:00:51,015 --> 00:00:51,907
Why?

22
00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:53,665
'Cause I love him?

23
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,306
"Love him".

24
00:00:55,326 --> 00:00:57,369
How do you fucking know you love him?

25
00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:59,187
I don't know, man, I ju...

26
00:00:59,742 --> 00:01:01,338
Like, I don't know, we
fart in front of each other.

27
00:01:01,359 --> 00:01:03,644
We... both like to watch
movies with the subtitles on.

28
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:05,753
- Whatever.
- Wow, wow, that sounds super deep.

29
00:01:05,773 --> 00:01:07,968
Fuck off, Barbara. You know,
you call yourself a feminist,

30
00:01:07,989 --> 00:01:09,550
- but you hate other women.
- What?

31
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:10,968
No, I love other women.

32
00:01:11,476 --> 00:01:12,344
I just hate you.

33
00:01:12,364 --> 00:01:13,846
But you are me!

34
00:01:13,866 --> 00:01:15,687
No, I'm not. I'm not you. Ugh!

35
00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:19,937
Phone, play "Doll Parts" by Hole.

36
00:01:20,726 --> 00:01:22,618
Yeah, I fucking love this song.

37
00:01:22,638 --> 00:01:23,939
Okay, see?

38
00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:25,677
You just proved my point a-fucking-gain.

39
00:01:25,697 --> 00:01:27,943
We're the same person. I love this song.

40
00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:30,140
You sound different to me,
'cause I'm going fucking crazy,

41
00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:31,745
but in reality I'm
just sitting in my car,

42
00:01:31,765 --> 00:01:33,365
having a conversation with
myself, and I just told

43
00:01:33,385 --> 00:01:35,939
my phone to play "Doll
Parts" by Hole, so...

44
00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:37,369
Goddamn it.

45
00:01:37,389 --> 00:01:39,705
You know what? You are the shitty feminist.

46
00:01:39,725 --> 00:01:42,388
I hear you doing all types
of, like, rape roleplay,

47
00:01:42,408 --> 00:01:45,125
- you twisted little bitch.
- Okay. That, you know...

48
00:01:45,375 --> 00:01:48,354
Roleplay, like... that's a consensual...

49
00:01:48,375 --> 00:01:51,332
And-and a woman can be submissive in bed

50
00:01:51,352 --> 00:01:55,012
- and, like, not be, like...
- "Ooh, Daddy, it hurts!

51
00:01:55,033 --> 00:01:58,150
- Daddy, I'm Cody. Ooh, it hurts".
- Okay.

52
00:01:58,171 --> 00:02:00,976
All right. When we do
that, it's, you know...

53
00:02:00,996 --> 00:02:04,021
it-it is a fictional
roleplay universe...

54
00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:06,726
You know what, whatever, man. It doesn't
mean I want to fuck my real dad.

55
00:02:06,884 --> 00:02:10,041
Wow. Okay, I didn't actually think
you wanted to fuck your real dad

56
00:02:10,061 --> 00:02:11,820
until you just said that. Now I'm like,

57
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,031
oh, my God, you want
to fuck your real dad.

58
00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,699
Is he, like, hot or something?

59
00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:18,285
- You're so annoying.
- I'm annoying?

60
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:21,072
Dan and I had a good thing
going and we were super happy,

61
00:02:21,093 --> 00:02:23,111
and you came and you
screwed everything up!

62
00:02:23,131 --> 00:02:24,963
Ugh! We all know you're just dating Dan

63
00:02:24,983 --> 00:02:26,383
because he's, like, a genius writer,

64
00:02:26,403 --> 00:02:29,838
and you're hoping it'll somehow
rub off on you. But it won't...

65
00:02:40,530 --> 00:02:42,226
I want a green juice.

66
00:02:42,246 --> 00:02:44,245
Oh, that's too bad,
'cause you're plastic.

67
00:02:44,266 --> 00:02:45,753
Your hands are clammy.

68
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,065
Ow! You're hurting me!

69
00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:49,943
Oh, no.

70
00:02:49,963 --> 00:02:52,597
You're such, like, "mean mom" vibes.

71
00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:55,531
Oh, my God, Cody.

72
00:02:55,863 --> 00:02:57,752
Don't look now, but look now.

73
00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:00,035
Don't look now, but look now.

74
00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:01,203
The redhead.

75
00:03:01,472 --> 00:03:03,495
She's fucking disgusting. Ew.

76
00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,451
Girl, you're looking gorgeous.

77
00:03:05,472 --> 00:03:07,376
Keep rocking that wig.

78
00:03:08,409 --> 00:03:09,588
Hello?

79
00:03:10,308 --> 00:03:12,347
Bet he's totally jerking it back there.

80
00:03:12,550 --> 00:03:14,448
- Who?
- The repairman.

81
00:03:14,748 --> 00:03:16,660
How do you know it's not a repairwoman?

82
00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:21,005
You're so cute. You're
so, like, of the moment.

83
00:03:21,026 --> 00:03:23,851
I really am gonna miss you
when Dan breaks up with you.

84
00:03:24,464 --> 00:03:26,701
? He's jerkin' off, he's jerkin' off ?

85
00:03:26,722 --> 00:03:28,814
? He's jerkin' off in
the back of the store. ?

86
00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:30,232
Hey. Sorry about that.

87
00:03:30,252 --> 00:03:31,900
I hope you weren't waiting long.

88
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:33,235
Did you hear anything?

89
00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:35,028
- See? I told you.
- Excuse me?

90
00:03:35,047 --> 00:03:37,331
No, I was just in the back
making a repair to a doll,

91
00:03:37,352 --> 00:03:40,459
and I was wondering if you heard the
sound of me making the repairs.

92
00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:43,394
- See? - Yeah, I didn't hear
anything, so, you know,

93
00:03:43,503 --> 00:03:46,222
for the future, like, you
don't have to ask that question.

94
00:03:46,308 --> 00:03:47,833
Oh. A lesson learned.

95
00:03:48,339 --> 00:03:49,960
I am Stu. How can I help you?

96
00:03:50,222 --> 00:03:52,959
Yeah, I just need to get that fixed.

97
00:03:52,980 --> 00:03:55,340
Yikes. That is nasty.

98
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:56,884
You're nasty, dicklick.

99
00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:59,845
You know, actually, I think it would be
faster and cheaper just to get a new one.

100
00:03:59,865 --> 00:04:02,177
- What?
- No, no, it's, um...

101
00:04:02,197 --> 00:04:04,504
it's my boyfriend's, and
he can't know about this,

102
00:04:04,524 --> 00:04:06,957
so, you know, it would have
to look exactly like her,

103
00:04:06,978 --> 00:04:10,925
and I know she's, like, a...
special one-of-a-kind order.

104
00:04:11,769 --> 00:04:13,949
- Wait, that one?
- Yeah.

105
00:04:14,574 --> 00:04:17,237
- No, no. That's a Kayla.
- A what?

106
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,505
That's a Kayla. That's
a standard midrange model.

107
00:04:19,525 --> 00:04:21,145
- That's not true.
- They discontinued those years ago

108
00:04:21,165 --> 00:04:22,202
- due to lack of interest.
- No.

109
00:04:22,226 --> 00:04:23,853
- He's a fucking liar.
- Shame.

110
00:04:23,874 --> 00:04:26,025
I'll tell you what,
we have a bunch of 'em still in stock.

111
00:04:26,046 --> 00:04:27,775
Maybe you just get a
new one. They're on sale.

112
00:04:27,796 --> 00:04:29,204
- Great.
- What?

113
00:04:29,224 --> 00:04:30,358
Although...

114
00:04:31,288 --> 00:04:33,142
I'm just thinking about your situation.

115
00:04:33,163 --> 00:04:34,296
What's wrong?

116
00:04:34,316 --> 00:04:35,672
I don't know, it's just...

117
00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:37,744
she's really worn out.

118
00:04:37,765 --> 00:04:40,486
I think your boyfriend is
definitely gonna notice the difference.

119
00:04:40,507 --> 00:04:41,845
- Would you mind if I... ?
- Please.

120
00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:43,679
- Okay, this is just...
- Great.

121
00:04:44,694 --> 00:04:47,057
Okay, guys, my tits are chilly in here.

122
00:04:47,077 --> 00:04:48,629
If anyone happens to
have a light cardie.

123
00:04:48,650 --> 00:04:51,355
See, silicone isn't that different
from flesh, really.

124
00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:53,309
Like, time just takes its toll.

125
00:04:53,504 --> 00:04:55,317
- Yeah. - Look at these fingers
right here, can you see these?

126
00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:56,465
- These are sort of...
- Oh, Jesus.

127
00:04:56,486 --> 00:04:57,660
- Yeah, they're kind of melty.
- Gross.

128
00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:58,683
Melty? No, no, no.

129
00:04:58,703 --> 00:05:02,157
Yeah, well, you know, this is the thing, they're
only really designed to last ten years,

130
00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:04,108
and so if you do the math, she's a MILF.

131
00:05:04,129 --> 00:05:06,036
- Fuck off, Stu.
- But...

132
00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:07,955
too old, too old to be a mother.

133
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,976
So I guess, like, a GILF or something.

134
00:05:09,997 --> 00:05:12,127
Okay, I'm actually unable to
conceive naturally, so the fact

135
00:05:12,147 --> 00:05:14,795
that you'd even bring that up
around me is very triggering.

136
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:16,380
Let me get serious here for a second.

137
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,423
- Let's take a look.
- Ew. What is he doing?

138
00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:20,851
- Okay.
- Oh, my God! Ew! Get out of there, perv!

139
00:05:20,871 --> 00:05:23,858
We got stage five vaginal stressing.

140
00:05:23,879 --> 00:05:26,192
Okay, Cody, look, I know we
never established a safe word,

141
00:05:26,213 --> 00:05:28,517
and that is totally my bad...
we absolutely should have talked

142
00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:30,653
about it... but, like: safe word.

143
00:05:30,674 --> 00:05:33,429
Left labia completely blown out.

144
00:05:33,450 --> 00:05:35,668
- Okay, Cody, we can stop now.
- Now, the hair is easy,

145
00:05:35,688 --> 00:05:37,390
- because we can just...
- I'm actually really starting to freak out.

146
00:05:37,411 --> 00:05:38,905
Oh! My beautiful hair!

147
00:05:38,926 --> 00:05:40,946
Yeah. Pops right off. Easy peasy.

148
00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:43,195
Yeah, we just pop that on to a new doll,

149
00:05:43,216 --> 00:05:46,373
'cause their wigs, they come
with a much higher quality of hair,

150
00:05:46,394 --> 00:05:48,222
and he would definitely
notice something like that.

151
00:05:48,243 --> 00:05:50,151
Oh, Cody, please...

152
00:05:51,003 --> 00:05:52,380
Right. Okay.

153
00:05:52,401 --> 00:05:53,959
Now, take a look at the face here.

154
00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:55,544
See these cracks?

155
00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:57,995
These are called compression tears.

156
00:05:58,272 --> 00:06:00,045
They just happen over time.

157
00:06:00,066 --> 00:06:02,237
- Right.
- Look, I'm just spitballing here,

158
00:06:02,257 --> 00:06:04,670
but maybe we can take a rolling chair,

159
00:06:04,691 --> 00:06:06,326
and we roll it over the face

160
00:06:06,345 --> 00:06:08,495
of the new one, back and forth
and back and forth,

161
00:06:08,516 --> 00:06:10,845
until we can match this cracky face.

162
00:06:10,865 --> 00:06:14,589
But don't you think your boyfriend
would prefer a new model?

163
00:06:14,609 --> 00:06:16,823
I mean... just look at her.

164
00:06:17,189 --> 00:06:19,518
She's useless.

165
00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:23,943
Stu.

166
00:06:23,964 --> 00:06:25,765
Could you report to the loading dock?

167
00:06:25,785 --> 00:06:27,807
The new anuses just arrived.

168
00:06:27,828 --> 00:06:29,191
Nice.

169
00:06:35,512 --> 00:06:39,898
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