1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:08,000 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 2 00:00:22,950 --> 00:00:24,588 Lotta shit happened this season, people. 3 00:00:24,590 --> 00:00:25,672 Lotta shit. 4 00:00:25,674 --> 00:00:28,248 So much shit, I'm compelled to recap that shit for you. 5 00:00:28,250 --> 00:00:30,288 Also, I tested very well as a character, 6 00:00:30,290 --> 00:00:31,858 so the producer would like to shoehorn me 7 00:00:31,860 --> 00:00:33,958 into the show whenever possible. 8 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:35,228 Okay. Oh, man. 9 00:00:35,230 --> 00:00:36,928 This season's been compellin' as fuck. 10 00:00:36,930 --> 00:00:38,258 Lots of twists and turns. 11 00:00:38,260 --> 00:00:40,328 Cable ACE Award-winnin' stuff. 12 00:00:40,330 --> 00:00:41,398 When we last left off, 13 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:43,638 that tiny rat bastard, Dr. Psycho, 14 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:44,698 had betrayed Harley. 15 00:00:44,700 --> 00:00:46,387 Turns out, that tricky motherfucker 16 00:00:46,389 --> 00:00:48,078 was in cahoots with the Riddler. 17 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:50,008 And, with the help of some bullshit technology 18 00:00:50,010 --> 00:00:51,298 straight out of a comic book, 19 00:00:51,300 --> 00:00:53,799 they now control a army of blood-sucking parademons, 20 00:00:53,801 --> 00:00:55,070 courtesy of Darkseid. 21 00:00:55,072 --> 00:00:57,248 Dark-side? I don't know how to pronounce that shit. 22 00:00:57,250 --> 00:00:59,248 So, now, the only way Harley can stop Psycho 23 00:00:59,250 --> 00:01:00,748 is with the help of the Justice League. 24 00:01:00,750 --> 00:01:02,388 But wouldn't you fucking know, 25 00:01:02,390 --> 00:01:04,688 they're trapped in the Queen of Fables' storybook. 26 00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:06,358 Remember that shit from Season 1? 27 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:07,958 Look at how intricately woven 28 00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:09,288 this storytellin' shit is. 29 00:01:09,290 --> 00:01:11,458 Peabody Award-level shit here. 30 00:01:11,460 --> 00:01:13,058 Further complicating matters is, 31 00:01:13,060 --> 00:01:15,468 the only motherfucker who knows where that book is, 32 00:01:15,470 --> 00:01:16,538 is the Joker. 33 00:01:16,540 --> 00:01:18,398 But, that dude's a khaki-wearin' amnesiac, 34 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:19,738 who's somehow whiter now 35 00:01:19,740 --> 00:01:22,008 than when he was the color of paint primer. 36 00:01:22,010 --> 00:01:23,278 And now, our heroine, 37 00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:24,308 Ms. Harley Quinn, 38 00:01:24,310 --> 00:01:25,848 has gone against her better judgement, 39 00:01:25,850 --> 00:01:27,708 and has dumped the Joker back into acid 40 00:01:27,710 --> 00:01:29,448 to jog that motherfucker's memory, 41 00:01:29,450 --> 00:01:31,018 so he can find the storybook, 42 00:01:31,020 --> 00:01:32,248 free the Justice League, 43 00:01:32,250 --> 00:01:34,218 and take down Psycho and his fuckin' army. 44 00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:36,918 This is some George R.R. Martin, 45 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:38,228 Emmy Award-winnin' shit. 46 00:01:38,230 --> 00:01:39,458 Now, get yourself some popcorn, 47 00:01:39,460 --> 00:01:40,628 and let's watch. 48 00:02:15,330 --> 00:02:17,528 Where's the fucking book? 49 00:02:23,740 --> 00:02:28,308 Begin the taking of Gotham City! 50 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:51,158 Riddle me this... 51 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:53,158 Oh. 52 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:54,198 What's the next move? 53 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:55,298 Not a riddle. 54 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:57,438 This whole, uh, sidekick thing 55 00:02:57,440 --> 00:02:59,668 has made me real rusty with my rids. 56 00:02:59,670 --> 00:03:03,008 God! Get me Darkseid. 57 00:03:03,010 --> 00:03:05,078 Oh. You want me to get him. 58 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:06,308 Oh. Sorry. 59 00:03:06,310 --> 00:03:08,709 My phone doesn't have an inter-dimensional data plan. 60 00:03:08,711 --> 00:03:09,740 Good lord! 61 00:03:09,742 --> 00:03:10,992 Some assistant you are. 62 00:03:10,994 --> 00:03:12,103 Give me my phone. 63 00:03:12,105 --> 00:03:13,124 Okay, Ds. 64 00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:15,518 Deadshot, Deathstroke, Dee Dee, Doctor Aesop, 65 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:17,789 Doctor Death, Doctor Hurt, Doctor Trapp, 66 00:03:17,791 --> 00:03:18,820 Doctor Rabinowitz... 67 00:03:18,822 --> 00:03:21,398 What is Doctor Rabinowitz's super power? 68 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:22,899 Skin care. He's my dermatologist. 69 00:03:22,901 --> 00:03:24,060 I get adult acne. 70 00:03:24,062 --> 00:03:25,671 Here it is. Oh! 71 00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:27,768 I put him under The Darkseid. That's what's wrong. 72 00:03:28,870 --> 00:03:31,808 What the fuck is your problem, Harley? 73 00:03:31,810 --> 00:03:33,386 I should kill you for that. 74 00:03:33,388 --> 00:03:34,417 Good. You're back. 75 00:03:34,419 --> 00:03:35,838 Now, where's the Queen of Fables' book? 76 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,508 You had it in the tower, the tower collapsed. 77 00:03:37,510 --> 00:03:38,607 What happened to it? 78 00:03:38,609 --> 00:03:40,108 What happened to it? 79 00:03:40,110 --> 00:03:42,248 What happened to me? 80 00:03:42,250 --> 00:03:44,719 Oh, God! Oh, no. 81 00:03:44,721 --> 00:03:45,750 Oh, shit. 82 00:03:45,752 --> 00:03:46,801 What are you doing? 83 00:03:46,803 --> 00:03:48,523 I'm starting to remember. 84 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,648 What did I become? 85 00:04:48,650 --> 00:04:50,678 A suburban dad. Who gives a shit? 86 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:51,967 Where's the fucking book? 87 00:04:51,969 --> 00:04:53,288 I'm not helping you! 88 00:04:53,290 --> 00:04:54,388 You're the whole reason 89 00:04:54,390 --> 00:04:56,158 I ended up spending six months of my life 90 00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:57,358 in khaki shorts, 91 00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:58,558 a Hawaiian shirt, 92 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:00,658 and a cell phone clipped to my belt! 93 00:05:00,660 --> 00:05:02,468 Yeah. Thought you might say somethin' like that, 94 00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:03,928 which is why I'm not giving you a choice. 95 00:05:03,930 --> 00:05:05,769 You can't tell me what to do! 96 00:05:05,771 --> 00:05:06,869 I'm the Joker, 97 00:05:06,871 --> 00:05:09,618 Gotham's clown prince of crime. 98 00:05:09,620 --> 00:05:10,620 I'm gonna... 99 00:05:10,622 --> 00:05:12,768 Blow up if you don't help me find the book. 100 00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:14,038 Before you came to, 101 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:15,509 I put a bomb in your head, 102 00:05:15,511 --> 00:05:17,478 and I got the clicker right here. 103 00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:19,278 Hey! That's my bit. 104 00:05:22,250 --> 00:05:23,918 Fine. 105 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:27,248 I guess we're going to Bethany's house. 106 00:05:27,250 --> 00:05:28,959 I lost communication with the Batplane 107 00:05:28,961 --> 00:05:30,088 around Wayne Tower. 108 00:05:30,090 --> 00:05:32,257 Master Wayne, you know you don't have to narrate for me. 109 00:05:32,259 --> 00:05:34,387 I'm quite adept at context clue. 110 00:05:34,389 --> 00:05:36,087 If I can just get a glimpse of it. 111 00:05:36,089 --> 00:05:37,827 I can use the city surveillance systems 112 00:05:37,829 --> 00:05:38,858 and track it. 113 00:05:38,860 --> 00:05:40,797 There! No. 114 00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:45,837 No. No. No. No. 115 00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:49,607 Computer. Enhance. 116 00:05:49,609 --> 00:05:50,906 We have a new OS. 117 00:05:50,908 --> 00:05:52,277 All you have to do is say, 118 00:05:52,279 --> 00:05:53,677 "Hey, Batcomputer", 119 00:05:53,679 --> 00:05:55,377 and then whatever you want it to do. 120 00:05:55,379 --> 00:05:57,007 Hey, Batcomputer. 121 00:05:57,009 --> 00:05:58,447 Zoom in on picture. 122 00:05:58,449 --> 00:05:59,647 Joker's back, 123 00:05:59,649 --> 00:06:01,317 and Harley's with him. 124 00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:03,517 They must be behind this. 125 00:06:03,519 --> 00:06:06,757 It's time for Batman to... return. 126 00:06:06,759 --> 00:06:08,417 No, Master Wayne. 127 00:06:08,419 --> 00:06:10,427 Come on, Alfred. I am ready. 128 00:06:10,429 --> 00:06:11,757 Oh, I'm not worried about you. 129 00:06:11,759 --> 00:06:14,227 I just haven't had a chance to disinfect the Batsuit. 130 00:06:14,229 --> 00:06:16,497 Fine. Okay. Clean the suit... 131 00:06:16,499 --> 00:06:18,227 then Batman begins. 132 00:06:18,229 --> 00:06:19,697 Again. 133 00:06:27,609 --> 00:06:29,347 All right. This all looks perfect to me. 134 00:06:29,349 --> 00:06:30,507 Can we go to the dress fitting now? 135 00:06:30,509 --> 00:06:32,147 Babe, let's at least have Debbie 136 00:06:32,149 --> 00:06:33,177 show us around. 137 00:06:33,179 --> 00:06:34,207 What's the rush? 138 00:06:34,209 --> 00:06:36,318 What? There's no rush. There's no rush. I'm chillin'. 139 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:39,387 So, I heard one of you loves to fondue. 140 00:06:39,389 --> 00:06:41,689 Fon-do I ever! 141 00:06:42,559 --> 00:06:43,687 Fon-damn it! 142 00:06:43,689 --> 00:06:45,657 Oh. We'll figure out a fix for that. 143 00:06:45,659 --> 00:06:47,427 Babe, are you sure 144 00:06:47,429 --> 00:06:49,126 you don't wanna postpone the nupties? 145 00:06:49,128 --> 00:06:50,697 You know, just until we get the whole 146 00:06:50,699 --> 00:06:53,767 "unpredictable flying demons" sitch figured out? 147 00:06:53,769 --> 00:06:57,607 Like, I'm not even sure I can kite down the aisle 148 00:06:57,609 --> 00:06:59,608 - in these conditions. - No! Absolutely not. 149 00:06:59,610 --> 00:07:00,977 I'm ready to move forward with my life 150 00:07:00,979 --> 00:07:02,177 and leave some things behind. 151 00:07:02,179 --> 00:07:03,547 And, if we don't do it right now, 152 00:07:03,549 --> 00:07:04,777 those things might catch up with us, 153 00:07:04,779 --> 00:07:05,807 and we can't have that. 154 00:07:05,809 --> 00:07:07,617 And... also, like... 155 00:07:07,619 --> 00:07:08,717 I wanna marr... 156 00:07:08,719 --> 00:07:10,547 You know, like, love and marr... 157 00:07:10,549 --> 00:07:11,987 I wanna do that thing with you. 158 00:07:11,989 --> 00:07:14,717 That was really touching. 159 00:07:14,719 --> 00:07:15,857 Thank you for saying that. 160 00:07:15,859 --> 00:07:17,227 I don't care what Psycho does, 161 00:07:17,229 --> 00:07:18,437 this wedding is happening. 162 00:07:18,439 --> 00:07:21,497 So, this, of course, is where we'll put the... 163 00:07:22,829 --> 00:07:24,697 ... the photo booth. 164 00:07:24,699 --> 00:07:26,697 We'll have all kinds of silly props like 165 00:07:26,699 --> 00:07:28,567 a sign that says "YOLO". 166 00:07:28,569 --> 00:07:30,107 It'll be hilarious. 167 00:07:30,109 --> 00:07:32,607 See, honey? We're in great hands. 168 00:07:32,609 --> 00:07:35,407 I can't believe I spent six months 169 00:07:35,409 --> 00:07:38,307 being some loser suburban stepdad. 170 00:07:38,309 --> 00:07:39,817 God damn it! 171 00:07:39,819 --> 00:07:42,789 I'm watering the whole neighborhood. 172 00:07:45,889 --> 00:07:46,988 Get the fuck back! 173 00:07:46,990 --> 00:07:48,517 Hold on! It's not what it looks like. 174 00:07:48,519 --> 00:07:49,757 Well, it looks like he's the Joker, 175 00:07:49,759 --> 00:07:50,787 you're Harley Quinn, 176 00:07:50,789 --> 00:07:51,957 and you're here to rob me. 177 00:07:51,959 --> 00:07:52,981 Two out of three. Not bad. 178 00:07:52,983 --> 00:07:54,457 We're not here to rob you. 179 00:07:54,459 --> 00:07:55,467 There's a book. 180 00:07:55,469 --> 00:07:56,967 A big, fairytale book. 181 00:07:56,969 --> 00:07:58,997 It's hers. She needs it back. 182 00:07:58,999 --> 00:08:00,597 You're gonna have to elaborate, clown. 183 00:08:01,939 --> 00:08:04,237 You found me in the rubble of Wayne Tower. 184 00:08:04,239 --> 00:08:05,267 We fell in love. 185 00:08:05,269 --> 00:08:06,587 I read your kids stories 186 00:08:06,589 --> 00:08:08,707 out of what I thought was just a regular fairytale book, 187 00:08:08,709 --> 00:08:10,777 but it was really an evil fairytale book. 188 00:08:10,779 --> 00:08:12,477 And it turns out I was actually the Joker, 189 00:08:12,479 --> 00:08:13,509 but I lost my memory, 190 00:08:13,511 --> 00:08:15,117 then she threw me back in acid. 191 00:08:15,119 --> 00:08:16,547 Now, I'm the Joker again. 192 00:08:17,619 --> 00:08:19,317 I dated the Joker for six months? 193 00:08:19,319 --> 00:08:20,557 That's fuckin' ridiculous. 194 00:08:20,559 --> 00:08:21,817 Is it any more ridiculous 195 00:08:21,819 --> 00:08:23,487 than pointing that gun at my face? 196 00:08:23,489 --> 00:08:26,657 The gun you think little Sofia and Benicio don't know about? 197 00:08:26,659 --> 00:08:29,197 The gun you've never loaded or shot 198 00:08:29,199 --> 00:08:30,527 in your life? 199 00:08:31,599 --> 00:08:34,467 Soy yo, pudding. 200 00:08:34,469 --> 00:08:35,737 Mi corazon. 201 00:08:43,779 --> 00:08:44,847 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 202 00:08:44,849 --> 00:08:46,647 Give me the book, or I'll kill you. 203 00:08:46,649 --> 00:08:47,877 You're not killin' anybody. 204 00:08:47,879 --> 00:08:49,447 So, nothing we had was real? 205 00:08:49,449 --> 00:08:50,847 The trip we took to the mountains, 206 00:08:50,849 --> 00:08:53,357 the walks we took at night after the kids were asleep, 207 00:08:53,359 --> 00:08:55,317 The Sopranos rewatch we did? 208 00:08:55,319 --> 00:08:58,327 I guess. I mean, I did kind of enjoy those. 209 00:08:58,329 --> 00:08:59,727 But, I didn't know who I was! 210 00:08:59,729 --> 00:09:01,027 I'm the Joker! 211 00:09:01,029 --> 00:09:02,867 Obviously, I'm not going to date 212 00:09:02,869 --> 00:09:04,669 some suburban mom! 213 00:09:06,599 --> 00:09:07,797 That was a little harsh. 214 00:09:07,799 --> 00:09:09,167 I'm the fucking Joker! 215 00:09:09,169 --> 00:09:11,537 I mean, come on! I mean, seriously. 216 00:09:11,539 --> 00:09:12,707 I thought we had something. 217 00:09:12,709 --> 00:09:14,427 But, if you're too much of a coward to try, 218 00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:15,439 then here's your book. 219 00:09:35,599 --> 00:09:37,469 - Shit! - No shit. 220 00:09:40,839 --> 00:09:42,537 What's he saying? 221 00:09:42,539 --> 00:09:43,907 I'm still on hold. 222 00:09:43,909 --> 00:09:45,877 Who interrupts Darkseid's quest 223 00:09:45,879 --> 00:09:47,977 for the anti-life equation? 224 00:09:47,979 --> 00:09:50,007 Uh, it's... 225 00:09:50,009 --> 00:09:52,117 ... Dr. Psycho. 226 00:09:52,119 --> 00:09:56,017 Ah. The dwarf who called Wonder Woman a slur 227 00:09:56,019 --> 00:09:57,947 that even I dare not utter. 228 00:09:57,949 --> 00:09:59,987 God! That was, like, two years ago! 229 00:09:59,989 --> 00:10:02,587 Also, "dwarf" is considered a slur. 230 00:10:02,589 --> 00:10:04,627 Just FYI. This isn't Wizard of Oz. 231 00:10:04,629 --> 00:10:06,157 Darkseid does not care. 232 00:10:06,159 --> 00:10:07,357 Yeah. Why would you? 233 00:10:07,359 --> 00:10:08,817 Okay, so, Mr. Darkseid, sir, 234 00:10:08,819 --> 00:10:11,394 I have recently taken over Gotham City 235 00:10:11,396 --> 00:10:14,737 after organizing all your parademons, and... 236 00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:16,107 What is your request? 237 00:10:16,109 --> 00:10:18,377 Okay, I'd like that deal that you made with Harley Quinn. 238 00:10:18,379 --> 00:10:20,237 The one that said if she took over Gotham, 239 00:10:20,239 --> 00:10:22,607 you'd help her take over the world. 240 00:10:22,609 --> 00:10:25,947 Darkseid is... late for a meeting. 241 00:10:25,949 --> 00:10:27,777 All right. I'm gonna make this quick. 242 00:10:27,779 --> 00:10:28,917 When I was a little boy, 243 00:10:28,919 --> 00:10:30,787 my mother brought me to the county fair. 244 00:10:30,789 --> 00:10:31,987 There was a Ferris wheel. 245 00:10:31,989 --> 00:10:33,217 A big, beautiful thing, 246 00:10:33,219 --> 00:10:35,287 and you had to be a certain height to ride it. 247 00:10:35,289 --> 00:10:36,987 And, of course, I was too short. 248 00:10:36,989 --> 00:10:38,596 But, my mother would always say, 249 00:10:38,598 --> 00:10:39,927 "Patience, Eddie. 250 00:10:39,929 --> 00:10:42,597 I'm sure next year you're gonna be big enough". 251 00:10:42,599 --> 00:10:43,727 Let me tell you right now. 252 00:10:43,729 --> 00:10:45,497 The next year rolled around, 253 00:10:45,499 --> 00:10:47,767 and I hadn't gotten any taller. 254 00:10:47,769 --> 00:10:49,137 Years went by. 255 00:10:49,139 --> 00:10:53,007 I hung upside down from my ankles for hours. 256 00:10:53,009 --> 00:10:55,047 I took growth hormones. 257 00:10:55,049 --> 00:10:59,077 Anything to ride that big wheel in the sky. 258 00:10:59,079 --> 00:11:00,577 I never did get there. 259 00:11:00,579 --> 00:11:01,647 But, then, one day, 260 00:11:01,649 --> 00:11:04,087 somethin' very unexpected happened. 261 00:11:04,089 --> 00:11:06,317 All those people 262 00:11:06,319 --> 00:11:07,957 fell to their death! 263 00:11:09,789 --> 00:11:12,727 And it was a rush! 264 00:11:12,729 --> 00:11:15,097 I thought it was so satisfying 265 00:11:15,099 --> 00:11:17,797 to watch all those people die! 266 00:11:17,799 --> 00:11:19,597 And, that's when I decided to hate women. 267 00:11:19,599 --> 00:11:21,767 I'm not sure that tracks. 268 00:11:21,769 --> 00:11:23,807 But, you get where I'm comin' from. 269 00:11:23,809 --> 00:11:25,937 I will end this transmission now. 270 00:11:25,939 --> 00:11:27,537 Wait! Wait! Wait! 271 00:11:27,539 --> 00:11:30,346 Most insomniacs who stay up all hours of the night 272 00:11:30,348 --> 00:11:32,917 doing deep dives on Wikipedia would tell you 273 00:11:32,919 --> 00:11:35,947 that 87% of apocalyptian business transactions 274 00:11:35,949 --> 00:11:37,947 are fueled by revenge. 275 00:11:37,949 --> 00:11:40,317 So, I was thinking... 276 00:11:40,319 --> 00:11:41,417 What? 277 00:11:41,419 --> 00:11:43,587 Why are you looking at me all weird? 278 00:11:43,589 --> 00:11:44,927 I just read your mind. 279 00:11:44,929 --> 00:11:47,027 What? That's creepy, man. 280 00:11:47,029 --> 00:11:51,967 Sir, what if I bring you the head of Harley Quinn? 281 00:11:51,969 --> 00:11:53,397 I mean, she did break the terms 282 00:11:53,399 --> 00:11:55,167 of her original agreement with you, 283 00:11:55,169 --> 00:11:57,672 and it seems like a good reason to want her dead. 284 00:11:57,674 --> 00:11:59,437 You would vanquish the woman 285 00:11:59,439 --> 00:12:00,507 who betrayed me? 286 00:12:00,509 --> 00:12:02,547 Yeah! Of course. 287 00:12:02,549 --> 00:12:05,377 I mean, we're already in the process of that. 288 00:12:05,379 --> 00:12:06,587 We're mid-vanquish. 289 00:12:06,589 --> 00:12:09,287 Bring me the head of Harley Quinn, 290 00:12:09,289 --> 00:12:11,147 and the Earth... 291 00:12:11,149 --> 00:12:12,757 is yours. 292 00:12:12,759 --> 00:12:15,187 Yes! Fuckin' sweet! 293 00:12:15,189 --> 00:12:17,987 I mean, it will be done. 294 00:12:17,989 --> 00:12:21,497 Oh. Soon, the whole world 295 00:12:21,499 --> 00:12:24,167 is gonna bow before me. 296 00:12:24,169 --> 00:12:27,337 Bring me Harley Quinn! 297 00:12:29,509 --> 00:12:31,267 God, your calves are huge! 298 00:12:38,149 --> 00:12:39,449 What do you think? 299 00:12:40,979 --> 00:12:44,317 I think this is highly against protocol. 300 00:12:44,319 --> 00:12:46,147 If my mother saw me seeing you 301 00:12:46,149 --> 00:12:47,473 in that dress before the wedding, 302 00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:49,027 she would say something very passive-aggressive 303 00:12:49,029 --> 00:12:50,287 that would bring me to tears. 304 00:12:50,289 --> 00:12:51,457 Where is Harley? 305 00:12:51,459 --> 00:12:53,227 She should be here. Not me. 306 00:12:53,229 --> 00:12:54,997 What? Forget about Harley. She was busy, 307 00:12:54,999 --> 00:12:56,756 and I don't have any other friends, so you're up. 308 00:12:56,758 --> 00:12:59,067 Babe, did you and Harley get into a fight or something 309 00:12:59,069 --> 00:13:00,537 at the ol' bach partay? 310 00:13:00,539 --> 00:13:02,984 It just feels like you've been different since then. 311 00:13:02,986 --> 00:13:04,824 What? No. We're, like, totally fine. 312 00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:05,934 We just... She... 313 00:13:05,936 --> 00:13:07,555 She's just got her things, and I've got mine. 314 00:13:07,557 --> 00:13:10,224 It's a classic case of, like, people just, you know, havin' things 315 00:13:10,226 --> 00:13:11,864 that they do away from people. 316 00:13:11,866 --> 00:13:13,464 Plus, she's like not good at this stuff. 317 00:13:13,466 --> 00:13:14,834 You know, it's like, you are. 318 00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:16,134 You are good at this kind of thing. 319 00:13:16,136 --> 00:13:18,404 You are right about that. 320 00:13:18,406 --> 00:13:20,744 Okay. Um... 321 00:13:20,746 --> 00:13:22,805 Are you totally set on cream? 322 00:13:22,807 --> 00:13:23,836 What? What do you mean? 323 00:13:23,838 --> 00:13:25,647 - The... Isn't this just white? - Nope. 324 00:13:25,649 --> 00:13:27,878 Oh, shit! 325 00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:31,475 _ 326 00:13:31,546 --> 00:13:34,954 We don't speak your language. 327 00:13:34,956 --> 00:13:36,754 Is there another way 328 00:13:36,756 --> 00:13:39,294 we can communicate? 329 00:13:39,296 --> 00:13:40,794 You do know that speaking louder 330 00:13:40,796 --> 00:13:42,494 will not help them understand you. 331 00:13:42,496 --> 00:13:43,766 It... might. 332 00:13:45,796 --> 00:13:47,134 What the fuck? 333 00:13:47,136 --> 00:13:49,606 Shit nuts with a can! Oh, my God! 334 00:13:49,608 --> 00:13:51,434 I wasn't even sure I wanted a backless dress, 335 00:13:51,436 --> 00:13:52,505 and now I'm stuck with it. 336 00:13:52,507 --> 00:13:53,880 Yeah. I was gonna say, 337 00:13:53,882 --> 00:13:56,681 a backless halter... is a little rural. 338 00:13:59,046 --> 00:14:00,614 I've had it! 339 00:14:00,616 --> 00:14:02,984 I didn't care when they were taking giant dumps 340 00:14:02,986 --> 00:14:04,244 all over the fuckin' city, 341 00:14:04,246 --> 00:14:07,184 but this is a $13,000 Vera Wang! 342 00:14:07,186 --> 00:14:09,584 Uh... Okay. Thirteen... 343 00:14:09,586 --> 00:14:12,554 So, you know, are we doin' the traditional thing 344 00:14:12,556 --> 00:14:14,194 where the bride's parents pay for the wedding? 345 00:14:14,196 --> 00:14:15,565 Dr. Psycho's dead. 346 00:14:15,567 --> 00:14:16,626 Hold my hair. 347 00:14:16,628 --> 00:14:18,124 Yeah. Sure, honey. 348 00:14:26,276 --> 00:14:27,474 Get down! 349 00:14:29,006 --> 00:14:31,804 We're not going to find this book. 350 00:14:31,806 --> 00:14:33,344 Ugh. This sucks! 351 00:14:33,346 --> 00:14:35,174 Why don't you just blow my head up right now? 352 00:14:35,176 --> 00:14:36,444 It's your fault we're here. 353 00:14:36,446 --> 00:14:37,914 If you hadn't been an asshole to your ex, 354 00:14:37,916 --> 00:14:38,984 she wouldn't have chucked the book 355 00:14:38,986 --> 00:14:40,544 into the jaws of a parademon. 356 00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:41,655 She chucked the book 357 00:14:41,657 --> 00:14:43,086 because she's loca. 358 00:14:43,088 --> 00:14:45,184 She's got it tattooed on her lower back 359 00:14:45,186 --> 00:14:47,024 next to a Tweety Bird. 360 00:14:47,026 --> 00:14:49,364 Although, we did have some good times. 361 00:14:49,366 --> 00:14:50,794 Great. Uh, I don't give a shit. 362 00:14:50,796 --> 00:14:51,824 Let's find the book. 363 00:14:51,826 --> 00:14:54,994 I might actually say 364 00:14:54,996 --> 00:14:57,835 it was the most fulfilling relationship I've been in. 365 00:14:57,837 --> 00:15:00,604 Jesus Christ! Are you gettin' sentimental? 366 00:15:00,606 --> 00:15:02,204 Where was that when we were dating? 367 00:15:02,206 --> 00:15:04,604 You fell in love with me when I was famous. 368 00:15:04,606 --> 00:15:07,814 When I looked like this. 369 00:15:07,816 --> 00:15:09,044 Bethany fell in love with me 370 00:15:09,046 --> 00:15:11,414 when I was just a square-looking barback 371 00:15:11,416 --> 00:15:13,697 with not a lot of prospects. 372 00:15:13,699 --> 00:15:15,437 Uh, that wasn't the real you! 373 00:15:15,439 --> 00:15:17,537 You had forgotten what a piece of shit you are! 374 00:15:17,539 --> 00:15:20,509 I can't believe you were ever a therapist. 375 00:15:23,049 --> 00:15:24,636 I'm starting to wonder, 376 00:15:24,638 --> 00:15:26,877 did I screw something up good 377 00:15:26,879 --> 00:15:28,447 with me and Bethany? 378 00:15:28,449 --> 00:15:29,547 Probably not. 379 00:15:29,549 --> 00:15:32,257 Just seeing you toss away your chance at Ivy has... 380 00:15:32,259 --> 00:15:34,757 Has got me thinking about my own love life. 381 00:15:34,759 --> 00:15:37,027 I mean, I don't wanna biff it like you did. 382 00:15:37,029 --> 00:15:38,757 Hey! I told Ivy how I felt, 383 00:15:38,759 --> 00:15:40,758 and she didn't feel that way. And end of story! 384 00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:41,827 Water under the bridge! 385 00:15:41,829 --> 00:15:42,868 Right. Right. 386 00:15:42,870 --> 00:15:45,767 The screaming about it at the mere mention of her name 387 00:15:45,769 --> 00:15:48,137 certainly backs that up. 388 00:15:52,939 --> 00:15:54,377 Fuck, yeah! 389 00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:02,477 Look at these hideous monsters. 390 00:16:02,479 --> 00:16:05,887 Oh, Bethany and I used to cuddle just like that. 391 00:16:05,889 --> 00:16:08,257 God, we could just sit on the couch 392 00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:10,387 and talk about nothing for hours. 393 00:16:10,389 --> 00:16:13,427 We just got each other. 394 00:16:13,429 --> 00:16:15,427 She always had my back. 395 00:16:17,829 --> 00:16:19,167 Good God! 396 00:16:19,169 --> 00:16:20,437 That's true love. 397 00:16:20,439 --> 00:16:22,097 Then you can't just give up. 398 00:16:22,099 --> 00:16:23,407 Love's a risk. 399 00:16:23,409 --> 00:16:25,037 It may not always go in your favor, 400 00:16:25,039 --> 00:16:26,337 but if it's true love, 401 00:16:26,339 --> 00:16:28,377 you have to fight for it. 402 00:16:29,709 --> 00:16:31,307 That is foul. 403 00:16:31,309 --> 00:16:33,047 Ugh! Let's get the hell outta here. 404 00:16:40,289 --> 00:16:42,027 Maybe it's T. rex rules. 405 00:16:42,029 --> 00:16:43,857 If we don't move, they can't see us. 406 00:16:43,859 --> 00:16:46,257 _ 407 00:16:46,259 --> 00:16:48,297 Yeah. I'm pretty sure they can see us. 408 00:16:51,229 --> 00:16:53,537 I can't run in fucking wingtips. 409 00:17:44,389 --> 00:17:48,189 Nice knowin' ya, Mistah J. 410 00:17:54,999 --> 00:17:57,127 So, you're all in league with Psycho, 411 00:17:57,129 --> 00:17:58,837 and you've gotten back with Joker. 412 00:17:58,839 --> 00:18:00,037 Oh for two, idiot. 413 00:18:00,039 --> 00:18:01,337 Jesus, Bats. 414 00:18:01,339 --> 00:18:02,737 Your time out of the game 415 00:18:02,739 --> 00:18:05,467 has really made your detective skills go to shit. 416 00:18:05,469 --> 00:18:06,507 I doubt that. 417 00:18:06,509 --> 00:18:07,637 We're trying to save the city. 418 00:18:07,639 --> 00:18:09,207 Psycho's mind-controlled my crew 419 00:18:09,209 --> 00:18:10,247 and all the parademons. 420 00:18:10,249 --> 00:18:11,347 And, in order to stop him, 421 00:18:11,349 --> 00:18:12,977 we're trying to free the Justice League 422 00:18:12,979 --> 00:18:14,747 - from Queen of Fables' book. - Oh. 423 00:18:14,749 --> 00:18:17,917 Oh! That is not the book. 424 00:18:17,919 --> 00:18:20,357 What? Then the actual book is... 425 00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:21,757 Still at Bethany's! 426 00:18:21,759 --> 00:18:24,187 Looks like we're takin' a detour to suburbia. 427 00:18:24,189 --> 00:18:26,097 Bats, tell Zatanna to meet us there, 428 00:18:26,099 --> 00:18:27,197 and bring her wand. 429 00:18:27,199 --> 00:18:29,127 - Who's Bethany? - My girlfriend. 430 00:18:29,129 --> 00:18:31,727 - What? - My ex-girlfriend! 431 00:18:31,729 --> 00:18:33,339 I'll explain on the way. 432 00:18:37,109 --> 00:18:39,437 Okay. You're tellin' me 433 00:18:39,439 --> 00:18:40,937 that Harley and Joker 434 00:18:40,939 --> 00:18:42,847 were in the goddamn nest, 435 00:18:42,849 --> 00:18:45,077 but escaped with Batman? 436 00:18:46,449 --> 00:18:49,517 And, they're headed east in the fuckin' Batplane? 437 00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:51,417 Northeast. Whatever. 438 00:18:51,419 --> 00:18:53,492 Shit! What the hell are we gonna do? 439 00:18:53,494 --> 00:18:55,815 Batman was supposed to be out of commission! 440 00:18:56,589 --> 00:18:57,957 Hey, Psycho! 441 00:18:57,959 --> 00:18:59,827 You tiny-dicked asshole. 442 00:18:59,829 --> 00:19:02,167 I was tryin' to just sit this one out, 443 00:19:02,169 --> 00:19:04,527 but you screwed with my goddamn wedding. 444 00:19:04,529 --> 00:19:07,467 So, either ground your goddamn parademons 445 00:19:07,469 --> 00:19:09,237 until the "I do's" are done, 446 00:19:09,239 --> 00:19:11,207 - or so help me... - Oh! 447 00:19:11,209 --> 00:19:15,077 Actually, I'm so happy you came, Ivy. 448 00:19:15,079 --> 00:19:18,147 I was really in need of a friend. 449 00:19:21,419 --> 00:19:23,887 So, you, the Joker, 450 00:19:23,889 --> 00:19:26,517 were in a relationship with a nurse practitioner. 451 00:19:26,519 --> 00:19:29,217 Technically, she was in nursing school. 452 00:19:29,219 --> 00:19:31,427 And you professed your love to Ivy. 453 00:19:31,429 --> 00:19:33,597 Ugh! Still don't know why you brought that up. 454 00:19:33,599 --> 00:19:35,787 Oh, my God! It came up organically. 455 00:19:35,789 --> 00:19:38,227 It would've been awkward if I didn't say anything. 456 00:19:38,229 --> 00:19:41,567 Look, we need to get that book before Psycho kills us all. 457 00:19:41,569 --> 00:19:44,969 No. This is mine to do. 458 00:19:50,695 --> 00:19:52,294 Didn't I tell you to fuck off and get lost? 459 00:19:52,296 --> 00:19:55,647 Yes. Yes, you most definitely said both of those things, 460 00:19:55,649 --> 00:19:56,717 but, um... 461 00:19:56,719 --> 00:19:59,957 I just can't stay away, Beth. 462 00:19:59,959 --> 00:20:02,957 You know, I thought I had the perfect life 463 00:20:02,959 --> 00:20:04,357 before I met you. 464 00:20:04,359 --> 00:20:07,227 Maiming, killing, causing general chaos. 465 00:20:07,229 --> 00:20:08,967 I thought I had it all. 466 00:20:08,969 --> 00:20:10,997 But, now, I realize... 467 00:20:10,999 --> 00:20:13,197 I was missing something. 468 00:20:13,199 --> 00:20:16,458 Love is what makes life worth living. 469 00:20:16,460 --> 00:20:20,199 So, Joker went through some changes over the last few months. 470 00:20:20,201 --> 00:20:23,007 I don't wanna blow what could be a great thing. 471 00:20:23,009 --> 00:20:24,847 Like a friend of mine did. 472 00:20:24,849 --> 00:20:27,217 I still have the remote to blow up your fuckin' head. 473 00:20:27,219 --> 00:20:29,487 I wanna give this a shot. 474 00:20:31,859 --> 00:20:34,057 Oh, baby! 475 00:20:34,059 --> 00:20:35,117 We need that book. 476 00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:37,639 Jesus! Read the fucking room! 477 00:20:50,469 --> 00:20:52,407 Thank Hera! 478 00:20:52,409 --> 00:20:54,206 That place was hell. 479 00:20:54,208 --> 00:20:56,507 They made us listen to the same songs 480 00:20:56,509 --> 00:20:59,891 over and over again. 481 00:20:59,893 --> 00:21:02,178 Too soft. Too hard. Never just right. 482 00:21:02,180 --> 00:21:03,910 Never just right. 483 00:21:04,787 --> 00:21:05,818 So, in summary, 484 00:21:05,820 --> 00:21:07,517 we have to take down the parademon army 485 00:21:07,519 --> 00:21:08,857 and get to Dr. Psycho. 486 00:21:08,859 --> 00:21:10,457 No time to waste! 487 00:21:10,459 --> 00:21:13,397 Sorry! It's been a minute. 488 00:21:13,399 --> 00:21:15,967 I should probably get back to Central City. 489 00:21:21,469 --> 00:21:23,367 I'll go make some coffee. 490 00:21:23,369 --> 00:21:24,467 So, is this your new life? 491 00:21:24,469 --> 00:21:25,776 You're gonna go coach a little league team 492 00:21:25,778 --> 00:21:27,277 and get ice cream after the game? 493 00:21:27,279 --> 00:21:28,807 No! 494 00:21:28,809 --> 00:21:31,447 Little Benicio's lactose-intolerant. 495 00:21:31,449 --> 00:21:34,377 Look, lots of dads are serial killers. 496 00:21:34,379 --> 00:21:36,317 I'm not gonna change who I am. 497 00:21:36,319 --> 00:21:38,447 I just have a better reason to kill. 498 00:21:38,449 --> 00:21:41,057 I am in love! 499 00:21:41,059 --> 00:21:42,075 Now, it's your turn. 500 00:21:42,077 --> 00:21:44,628 I told you, I tried. It didn't work. 501 00:21:44,630 --> 00:21:45,727 Ivy said no. 502 00:21:45,729 --> 00:21:47,697 Are you prepared to live with that? 503 00:21:47,699 --> 00:21:49,799 I'm prepared for anything. 504 00:21:51,669 --> 00:21:54,367 Ivy! What're you doing here? 505 00:21:54,369 --> 00:21:57,037 I've got something to tell you. 506 00:21:57,039 --> 00:21:58,677 I am going to kill you. 507 00:22:00,579 --> 00:22:02,307 Damn! That shit was tense. 508 00:22:02,309 --> 00:22:03,707 See, now, this show is a comedy 509 00:22:03,709 --> 00:22:06,277 that combines both humor and dramatic tension. 510 00:22:06,279 --> 00:22:07,977 Can I get a Chiron? 511 00:22:07,979 --> 00:22:09,277 See you all next week. 512 00:22:09,279 --> 00:22:11,987 - _ - Same Frank time, same Frank channel. 513 00:22:11,989 --> 00:22:14,357 I'm gonna get some popcorn in anticipation. 514 00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:16,217 Hey, Chaz. Hook a brother up! 515 00:22:18,229 --> 00:22:19,697 There's butter on this! 516 00:22:19,699 --> 00:22:21,097 What the fuck, Chaz? 517 00:22:21,099 --> 00:22:22,529 I'm watchin' my cholesterol. 518 00:22:25,701 --> 00:22:28,701 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com -