1
00:00:35,324 --> 00:00:37,863
Hey, babe, are these expired?

2
00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:45,170
Still got it, you fucking slut.

3
00:00:45,190 --> 00:00:48,360
CREDITS

4
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:54,159
Okay, so, what if I'm,
like, a flight attendant,

5
00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:57,160
and we're on this long-haul
international flight,

6
00:00:57,180 --> 00:00:59,245
and you're, like...
you're, like, this, like,

7
00:00:59,265 --> 00:01:01,748
handsy, entitled first-class passenger?

8
00:01:01,768 --> 00:01:03,499
Oh, yeah. So, wait.

9
00:01:03,519 --> 00:01:06,085
So, I'm grabbing you, like,
in front of everyone, or... ?

10
00:01:07,032 --> 00:01:09,213
No. Okay, good point.
Maybe it's like, you know, uh...

11
00:01:09,233 --> 00:01:11,549
Like, "Sir, you can't be
back here in the cockpit.

12
00:01:11,569 --> 00:01:12,925
"Or the vestibule thing

13
00:01:12,945 --> 00:01:14,385
where the flight attendants hang out.

14
00:01:14,405 --> 00:01:15,887
- Whatever that's called".
- So it's kind of like,

15
00:01:15,907 --> 00:01:17,095
"Uh, excuse me, miss.

16
00:01:17,116 --> 00:01:19,556
I'm gonna need you to
warm up these nuts".

17
00:01:19,660 --> 00:01:21,626
- Oh, I hated that.
- Ooh.

18
00:01:21,647 --> 00:01:23,506
I'm never gonna fuck you again.

19
00:01:23,526 --> 00:01:25,875
- How do you have two Emmys for writing?
- What are you talking about?

20
00:01:25,895 --> 00:01:28,441
We both know you wouldn't date
me if I didn't have those Emmys.

21
00:01:28,461 --> 00:01:30,847
That is not true. That's so mean.

22
00:01:30,868 --> 00:01:32,236
I am not dating you for Emmys.

23
00:01:32,256 --> 00:01:34,447
I am dating you because...

24
00:01:34,467 --> 00:01:38,135
you have a really nice house
and I really hate my apartment.

25
00:01:50,439 --> 00:01:51,849
What is this, like...

26
00:01:52,174 --> 00:01:53,773
- sequin glitter thing?
- Uh... it's probably

27
00:01:53,793 --> 00:01:55,442
- from one of your, uh...
- Where'd this even come from?

28
00:01:55,462 --> 00:01:58,596
I don't fuck with glitter,
man. What? Like...

29
00:01:58,616 --> 00:02:00,473
Oh, did you go to a
strip club or something?

30
00:02:00,493 --> 00:02:01,903
- What? No!
- No, I-I...

31
00:02:01,923 --> 00:02:03,393
We've been to strip clubs.
I have no problem

32
00:02:03,413 --> 00:02:04,602
- with strip clubs.
- Yeah, I know, I know.

33
00:02:04,622 --> 00:02:06,020
No, I haven't been to a strip club.

34
00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:07,605
- I haven't been to any...
- Okay.

35
00:02:07,625 --> 00:02:09,107
Then are you cheating on me?

36
00:02:09,127 --> 00:02:11,275
No. Oh, my God. I'm not cheating on you.

37
00:02:11,295 --> 00:02:13,276
- Okay, well, this is weird. Where did this... ?
- I have a sex doll.

38
00:02:15,294 --> 00:02:16,338
You what?

39
00:02:17,217 --> 00:02:18,783
I have a sex doll.

40
00:02:20,190 --> 00:02:23,413
That I barely ever even...

41
00:02:24,002 --> 00:02:25,651
- use, and, uh...
- Oh.

42
00:02:26,299 --> 00:02:28,403
There's this one dress with sparkles.

43
00:02:28,424 --> 00:02:29,460
Yeah, okay.

44
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:31,337
That probably one fell off, maybe.

45
00:02:31,357 --> 00:02:32,463
- Yeah.
- And, um...

46
00:02:32,483 --> 00:02:33,923
No, that's totally fine. Um...

47
00:02:33,943 --> 00:02:35,341
Well, it-it...

48
00:02:35,361 --> 00:02:37,468
it doesn't seem like it's fine with you.

49
00:02:37,488 --> 00:02:40,475
No. No. I'm just, uh...
I'm-I'm just processing.

50
00:02:40,495 --> 00:02:41,614
I didn't tell you about it,

51
00:02:41,634 --> 00:02:44,308
I didn't think to tell you about
it 'cause it's... it's no big deal.

52
00:02:44,328 --> 00:02:45,810
- I mean, it's like porn or something.
- Yeah.

53
00:02:45,830 --> 00:02:47,213
- No.
- It's a Fleshlight with boobs

54
00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:49,268
that I got off of a Japanese website.

55
00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:51,041
Ooh. She's from Japan.

56
00:02:51,166 --> 00:02:53,568
Very international woman.
Is her name Kimiko?

57
00:02:53,588 --> 00:02:55,361
- Oh, my God.
- Is she hotter than me?

58
00:02:55,381 --> 00:02:56,446
- Like, be honest. Like, if she's hot...
- Cody. Cody.

59
00:02:56,466 --> 00:02:57,488
If Kimiko's hotter than me...

60
00:02:57,508 --> 00:02:59,282
Now you're mocking me.

61
00:02:59,302 --> 00:03:01,104
Sorry. I'm not trying to kink-shame you.

62
00:03:01,124 --> 00:03:03,026
- I'm sorry if that's what it felt like.
- No, no, no.

63
00:03:03,047 --> 00:03:04,973
I have a million fetishes.

64
00:03:04,994 --> 00:03:07,299
I love this part of our relationship.

65
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:10,450
I love that we do all
this weird shit together.

66
00:03:10,471 --> 00:03:12,526
Really.
I love that.

67
00:03:14,268 --> 00:03:15,681
Can I just see her?

68
00:03:16,260 --> 00:03:18,176
- No.
- Why not?

69
00:03:18,196 --> 00:03:20,510
It's my private gross thing.

70
00:03:21,588 --> 00:03:23,431
Like the shit you took this morning.

71
00:03:23,451 --> 00:03:25,924
And I know you took a shit this
morning because we have honesty.

72
00:03:25,945 --> 00:03:27,752
I don't know what color it was...

73
00:03:28,268 --> 00:03:29,908
because of privacy.

74
00:03:29,929 --> 00:03:30,861
Okay.

75
00:03:31,417 --> 00:03:33,066
I mean, obviously, brown.

76
00:03:33,250 --> 00:03:34,283
You...

77
00:03:35,088 --> 00:03:37,643
I hear you. This is a boundary.

78
00:03:38,221 --> 00:03:40,736
It's all good. We're all good.

79
00:03:41,290 --> 00:03:42,944
We're good.

80
00:03:48,434 --> 00:03:50,111
You still want to, uh... ?

81
00:03:52,969 --> 00:03:54,822
I don't know, I'm kind of tired.

82
00:03:56,359 --> 00:03:58,143
Tired enough for...

83
00:03:58,820 --> 00:04:01,018
sexy autopsy?

84
00:04:03,158 --> 00:04:04,180
Yeah, okay.

85
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:06,641
So, am I, like, a pretty corpse,
or am I, like, all fucked-up?

86
00:04:06,661 --> 00:04:08,077
- You're fucked-up.
- Okay.

87
00:04:11,290 --> 00:04:12,643
Baby.

88
00:04:13,401 --> 00:04:14,517
Dan.

89
00:04:16,879 --> 00:04:19,272
Dan? You're snoring.

90
00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:21,293
Can you roll on your side, please?

91
00:05:18,742 --> 00:05:19,809
Hey!

92
00:05:29,141 --> 00:05:30,172
Hello?

93
00:05:31,516 --> 00:05:33,500
I'm in here.

94
00:05:34,281 --> 00:05:37,055
I can hear you.
I know you're out there.

95
00:05:37,467 --> 00:05:39,680
You breathe, like, really heavy.

96
00:05:45,483 --> 00:05:46,633
Hey!

97
00:05:48,475 --> 00:05:49,804
Sup?

98
00:05:55,031 --> 00:05:56,216
Kimiko?

99
00:05:56,377 --> 00:05:57,656
Who's Kimiko?

100
00:05:57,677 --> 00:05:59,055
Holy shit.

101
00:06:00,953 --> 00:06:03,299
Well, I mean, I...

102
00:06:03,492 --> 00:06:05,853
I, like, jokingly named you

103
00:06:05,873 --> 00:06:08,096
Kimi... Kimiko 'cause
you were made in Japan.

104
00:06:08,116 --> 00:06:09,806
Oh, my God.

105
00:06:09,961 --> 00:06:12,180
That's, like, really fucking racist.

106
00:06:12,781 --> 00:06:14,310
N... I mean...

107
00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:16,688
Like, I only said it
in front of Dan, so...

108
00:06:16,708 --> 00:06:18,856
Okay. Well, that doesn't
make it any better.

109
00:06:18,876 --> 00:06:20,316
Uh, anyway, hi.

110
00:06:20,844 --> 00:06:23,444
Hello. I'm Barbara.
Barbara Himmelbaum-Harmon.

111
00:06:23,464 --> 00:06:24,612
Barbara. Okay.

112
00:06:24,632 --> 00:06:26,328
Barbara, sorry. I'm so sorry.

113
00:06:26,349 --> 00:06:27,907
It's okay. It's fine.

114
00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:29,469
It's fine, girl.

115
00:06:30,485 --> 00:06:32,446
Actually, you know what?

116
00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:34,831
There is something you could do
that would really help me out.

117
00:06:34,851 --> 00:06:38,024
Just so that you can make it up to me because
you're racist and that was really offensive.

118
00:06:38,063 --> 00:06:40,586
So, I have, like, a ton of Dan's splooge

119
00:06:40,606 --> 00:06:41,909
- dried up inside of me.
- What?

120
00:06:41,930 --> 00:06:42,880
Yeah.

121
00:06:42,900 --> 00:06:46,417
It's so cute. Dan comes
inside of me a lot,

122
00:06:46,438 --> 00:06:48,469
and then, like, I think he gets
so caught up in the passion

123
00:06:48,489 --> 00:06:50,138
that he actually forgets to wash me.

124
00:06:50,158 --> 00:06:52,390
Like, he'll wipe the outside of
me with a T-shirt sometimes,

125
00:06:52,410 --> 00:06:54,100
- but he doesn't even always do that.
- What? Oh, my God.

126
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:56,922
Look. Girl, look how crusty it is.

127
00:06:59,813 --> 00:07:02,106
- Fuck, gross!
- I know, right?

128
00:07:02,126 --> 00:07:04,569
You would do me, like, a
huge favor if you'd wash me.

129
00:07:04,589 --> 00:07:06,612
No! No. Dude, absolutely not.

130
00:07:06,632 --> 00:07:08,364
I... I can't move you.

131
00:07:08,384 --> 00:07:10,616
He can't even know that
I saw you. Like, fuck.

132
00:07:10,636 --> 00:07:12,452
Our whole, like, mission
statement as a couple

133
00:07:12,472 --> 00:07:14,037
is, like, honesty and no lies,

134
00:07:14,057 --> 00:07:16,372
and I've totally invaded
his privacy already. Fuck!

135
00:07:16,392 --> 00:07:18,374
Right. Like, I hear you,
but do you really want him

136
00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:20,001
to fuck you with his dick
after it's been inside

137
00:07:20,021 --> 00:07:21,252
this crusty pussy?

138
00:07:21,272 --> 00:07:24,500
Oh, Jesus Christ, Barbara! I don't know.

139
00:07:24,922 --> 00:07:27,117
Like, he takes showers or whatever.

140
00:07:27,138 --> 00:07:29,723
Yeah, but you can't shower an
infection out of the dickhole, dumbass.

141
00:07:29,743 --> 00:07:31,429
This has happened to friends of mine.

142
00:07:31,449 --> 00:07:32,930
He's gonna get a disease from fucking

143
00:07:32,950 --> 00:07:34,693
- his own dried-up jizz flakes.
- Oh, my God.

144
00:07:34,713 --> 00:07:35,794
And then he's gonna pass that disease

145
00:07:35,814 --> 00:07:37,393
on to your vibrant, living pussy.

146
00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:38,770
You're gonna have to go to your doctor.

147
00:07:38,790 --> 00:07:41,147
You're gonna have to
explain what happened.

148
00:07:41,531 --> 00:07:43,024
- Okay. Barbara?
- Yeah.

149
00:07:43,044 --> 00:07:44,567
Barbara? Here's what's happening.

150
00:07:44,587 --> 00:07:47,690
I'm a little fucked-up right now
'cause I took, like, expired...

151
00:07:47,711 --> 00:07:50,948
um, these homeopathic,
like, melatonin gummies,

152
00:07:50,968 --> 00:07:52,450
and I've h... I've smoked a lot of weed.

153
00:07:52,470 --> 00:07:54,619
But clearly I'm having, like,
a hallucinatory episode

154
00:07:54,639 --> 00:07:56,871
where you came to life and,
like, beckoned me in here

155
00:07:56,891 --> 00:07:58,367
'cause I just needed to see you,

156
00:07:58,388 --> 00:08:01,133
and I didn't want to take responsibility
for snooping, you know?

157
00:08:01,154 --> 00:08:03,753
So here we are, and, like,
you're super fucking hot.

158
00:08:03,773 --> 00:08:06,422
- Thank you. I know.
- I feel really insecure about it,

159
00:08:06,442 --> 00:08:07,758
and there's nothing we
can do about that now.

160
00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:09,227
No, no, no, no, no, there are things!

161
00:08:09,248 --> 00:08:10,468
There is! Babe.

162
00:08:10,488 --> 00:08:12,932
Babe, there's Botox. There's Juvéderm.

163
00:08:12,953 --> 00:08:14,914
You would benefit so much

164
00:08:14,935 --> 00:08:16,891
from a forehead enlargement.

165
00:08:16,911 --> 00:08:18,684
I don't know if it's a thing.

166
00:08:18,704 --> 00:08:19,883
Okay, Barbara?

167
00:08:19,904 --> 00:08:22,397
I'm gonna go ahead and
say your forehead's stocky.

168
00:08:22,417 --> 00:08:24,065
I'm gonna go back to bed right now,

169
00:08:24,085 --> 00:08:27,068
and when I wake up, you're
gonna be inanimate again,

170
00:08:27,088 --> 00:08:28,945
and I'm gonna buy a
new bottle of melatonin,

171
00:08:28,965 --> 00:08:30,571
and we never have to do this again.

172
00:08:30,591 --> 00:08:31,948
It was so nice meeting you.

173
00:08:31,968 --> 00:08:33,700
No, no, no, no. Cody,
please, please, please.

174
00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:36,406
Cody, let's just talk about this, girl.
I like you so much.

175
00:08:36,427 --> 00:08:39,226
Cody, you're being such
a dumb cunt right now!

176
00:08:39,247 --> 00:08:42,247
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