1
00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:08,422
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -

2
00:00:22,170 --> 00:00:26,478
How can he call himself
Batman if he's not part bat?

3
00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:29,948
He's just a dude who
dresses up like a bat.

4
00:00:29,950 --> 00:00:32,878
That's animal appropriation.

5
00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:36,718
Hey, everybody! How was
Kite Man's bachelor party?

6
00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:40,188
I got married and saved the
Oceanic Trade Federation.

7
00:00:40,190 --> 00:00:41,588
Other than that, pretty chill.

8
00:00:41,590 --> 00:00:43,958
How was Ivy's bachelorette bash?

9
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,590
It was great. It was so great.

10
00:00:45,592 --> 00:00:47,198
Emotionally low stakes, you know.

11
00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:48,933
I had a great time.
Ivy had a great time.

12
00:00:48,935 --> 00:00:50,568
We slept in separate beds...

13
00:00:50,570 --> 00:00:53,568
Normal bachelorette stuff. So, yeah...

14
00:00:53,570 --> 00:00:56,408
Well, hey! I'm just, I'm
ready to keep the party going!

15
00:00:57,830 --> 00:00:59,229
Who wants to get a drink with me?

16
00:00:59,231 --> 00:01:01,848
One or two? Or a few
drinks? Or a lot of drinks?

17
00:01:01,850 --> 00:01:05,348
Drink so much we forget the
last 48 hours or maybe more?

18
00:01:05,350 --> 00:01:08,918
Oh. I'd love to but I gotta
be with my wife, Tabitha.

19
00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:10,848
Sunday's are big at her family.

20
00:01:10,850 --> 00:01:12,498
They are very religious,

21
00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:14,488
seeing as how Jesus was really a shark.

22
00:01:14,490 --> 00:01:16,018
What about you, Clayface?

23
00:01:16,020 --> 00:01:18,488
I, too, am spending this
evening with a paramour.

24
00:01:18,490 --> 00:01:19,898
His name is Tony.

25
00:01:19,900 --> 00:01:22,628
And he's the only
award show that matters.

26
00:01:22,630 --> 00:01:26,030
Okay, have fun, guys...

27
00:01:31,470 --> 00:01:33,908
A landlord always knows two things:

28
00:01:33,910 --> 00:01:35,279
when an oven's busted,

29
00:01:35,281 --> 00:01:37,808
'cause ya can't charge
rent without a working oven...

30
00:01:38,980 --> 00:01:40,748
and when a tenant's blue.

31
00:01:40,750 --> 00:01:42,248
So, spill it, hon,

32
00:01:42,250 --> 00:01:43,988
or I could get my torture kit?

33
00:01:43,990 --> 00:01:47,418
It's just, everybody's got
somebody special in their lives,

34
00:01:47,420 --> 00:01:49,028
- except me...
- So what?

35
00:01:49,030 --> 00:01:51,028
You don't need a lover to be happy.

36
00:01:51,030 --> 00:01:53,558
Do the thing that makes you happy.

37
00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:56,428
Life is about feeding your soul!

38
00:01:56,430 --> 00:01:58,798
Yeah, no. I'm just gonna go out
and boink the fuck out of somebody.

39
00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:01,568
Let's get this party started, bitches!

40
00:02:01,570 --> 00:02:04,738
Harley Quinn's here
and she's down to clown!

41
00:02:04,740 --> 00:02:07,778
Do you have a reservation?

42
00:02:07,780 --> 00:02:10,948
- Um, no.
- You'll have to clown at the bar, then.

43
00:02:16,820 --> 00:02:19,618
Room for Squares is,
of course, a classic,

44
00:02:19,620 --> 00:02:21,520
but it's really John Mayer's third album

45
00:02:21,522 --> 00:02:24,628
when he solidified the John Mayer sound.

46
00:02:24,630 --> 00:02:26,628
So, my place or yours?

47
00:02:26,630 --> 00:02:29,600
Actually, I'm just gonna
stop talking to you right now.

48
00:02:31,330 --> 00:02:33,298
God. The guys in this place suck.

49
00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:34,868
Yeah, well, they beat the food.

50
00:02:34,870 --> 00:02:36,668
But what do you expect from a Wayne?

51
00:02:38,020 --> 00:02:40,008
That's the first funny thing
a guy's said to me all night.

52
00:02:40,010 --> 00:02:42,710
If you like that, I
got plenty more jokes.

53
00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:50,690
You gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me.

54
00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,988
I want a squad of men and a single woman

55
00:02:54,990 --> 00:02:57,758
over to the oil refinery district, ASAP.

56
00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,199
Those Parademon bastards

57
00:02:59,201 --> 00:03:01,728
are chugging down oil like a
desperate teen to Benadryl.

58
00:03:01,730 --> 00:03:04,968
Then send another unit, same
gender ratio, to Gotham Park.

59
00:03:04,970 --> 00:03:07,068
And a third crew to... Jesus!

60
00:03:07,070 --> 00:03:10,738
Those hell-rats are spreading
faster than chlamyd' on my knob!

61
00:03:10,740 --> 00:03:11,959
- Where, sir?
- My privates!

62
00:03:11,961 --> 00:03:13,508
Where else would an STD spread?

63
00:03:13,510 --> 00:03:15,678
I meant where do you
want the third squad, sir?

64
00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:16,708
Oh. The harbor.

65
00:03:16,710 --> 00:03:18,778
- Commissioner, sir! This came for you.
- Oh!

66
00:03:18,780 --> 00:03:20,878
Gotta be the new Dave
Barry book I ordered.

67
00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:22,919
Every time I read this
guy's stuff I'm like...

68
00:03:22,921 --> 00:03:23,950
"That's pretty funny".

69
00:03:23,953 --> 00:03:26,392
- _
- The Dark Knight needs me.

70
00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:31,260
Oh! He remembered.

71
00:03:33,530 --> 00:03:35,383
- Jim, get in.
- _

72
00:03:36,430 --> 00:03:39,540
No, don't go in, Magnum.

73
00:03:42,510 --> 00:03:44,768
Oh. It's you.

74
00:03:44,770 --> 00:03:46,258
I thought ya left the crew.

75
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:48,031
I'm so sorry, I would've called

76
00:03:48,033 --> 00:03:49,538
but I never got your phone number.

77
00:03:49,540 --> 00:03:51,878
- Oh, well, mine's 203...
- Don't care.

78
00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:53,348
I'm gonna get my stuff and head out.

79
00:03:53,350 --> 00:03:55,918
So you're really gonna just leave Harley

80
00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:57,658
after everything she did for you?

81
00:03:57,660 --> 00:04:01,058
Okay look, I'm in a very zen place,
and we have very different goals.

82
00:04:01,060 --> 00:04:03,506
I wanna trounce the
skulls of my fallen foes,

83
00:04:03,508 --> 00:04:05,082
and she wants to... I don't know,

84
00:04:05,084 --> 00:04:06,758
do whatever someone
with a moral compass does.

85
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:08,528
You ungrateful little shit!

86
00:04:08,530 --> 00:04:11,768
You leave the dance
with the one you brought!

87
00:04:11,770 --> 00:04:14,098
- Riddle me this...
- Oh, shut the fuck up!

88
00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:17,538
Can't you see I'm trying to
elegantly end this conversation

89
00:04:17,540 --> 00:04:19,638
with this mechanical fossil?

90
00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:21,808
Good luck getting out again, fuck head!

91
00:04:21,810 --> 00:04:24,378
Alright, so I fortified the
shackles on that hamster wheel.

92
00:04:24,380 --> 00:04:26,019
It's basically impenetrable.

93
00:04:26,021 --> 00:04:27,563
Feed him at 5:00, shock him at 7:00.

94
00:04:27,565 --> 00:04:29,088
Maybe a snack at 9:00 if he's good.

95
00:04:29,090 --> 00:04:32,048
Have fun dying alone, you fuckin' freak!

96
00:04:32,050 --> 00:04:33,620
Smell ya later, old man.

97
00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:40,739
_

98
00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:43,468
Jiminy, you look familiar.
Do I know you?

99
00:04:43,470 --> 00:04:45,768
No! No, no, I have a very common look.

100
00:04:45,770 --> 00:04:48,108
Oh, I remember you from Noonan's!

101
00:04:48,110 --> 00:04:49,397
You probably don't remember me

102
00:04:49,399 --> 00:04:50,938
because I was a low-rent barback,

103
00:04:50,940 --> 00:04:53,708
and now I'm an upscale bartender.

104
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:57,708
It's a meteoric rise virtually
unheard of in this industry.

105
00:04:57,710 --> 00:05:01,678
Hey! Wait, hold on. Can I
offer you a Wayne fashioned?

106
00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:04,148
It's like an old fashioned,
but more expensive.

107
00:05:04,150 --> 00:05:07,558
Ya think all ya gotta do is
buy me one spirit-forward drink

108
00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:08,858
and I'll go gushy for ya?

109
00:05:08,860 --> 00:05:10,488
Uh, not gonna happen.

110
00:05:10,490 --> 00:05:13,098
Whoa, to be clear, I'm
not trying to hit on you.

111
00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:16,568
I'm unbelievably happy with
my wonderful girlfriend.

112
00:05:16,570 --> 00:05:18,468
Mmm, sweet as pie.

113
00:05:18,470 --> 00:05:20,198
Why couldn't you have just died?

114
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:22,598
Gosh, I love her. And our kids.

115
00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:24,289
Well, you know, her kids,

116
00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:27,578
but gosh darn it if they
don't feel like mine, y'know?

117
00:05:27,580 --> 00:05:29,678
I don't know, and I don't need to know.

118
00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:32,718
All I know is, right now, you're the
last person I wanna be around!

119
00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:34,779
- I'm hittin' a different bar.
- Hoo, boy. Good luck.

120
00:05:34,781 --> 00:05:37,688
Every watering hole around here
has been infested with Parademons,

121
00:05:37,690 --> 00:05:39,548
except this one on account of the...

122
00:05:39,550 --> 00:05:41,988
bulletproof glass.

123
00:05:41,990 --> 00:05:45,758
Yep, the top of Wayne tower
is the safest bar in town.

124
00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:47,828
Hey, everybody!

125
00:05:47,830 --> 00:05:52,598
Sorry to alarm you, but you're
in a hostile hostage situation.

126
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,668
Hi, how are you doing?

127
00:05:54,670 --> 00:05:57,408
Geez, Nicholas. Not that hostile.

128
00:05:57,410 --> 00:05:59,038
I'm sorry, everyone, it's his first day.

129
00:06:00,140 --> 00:06:02,078
Hey, where are you going?

130
00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:05,848
I've read your best chance of
survival is giving up easily.

131
00:06:05,850 --> 00:06:08,218
Yeah, normally, I'd go
beat the shit out of 'em,

132
00:06:08,220 --> 00:06:10,188
but I'm havin' a night and wanna
be able to return this dress.

133
00:06:10,190 --> 00:06:12,078
So, you're just gonna escape?

134
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,488
Uh, yeah. I'm not spending
my big night out here,

135
00:06:14,490 --> 00:06:17,028
- and certainly not with the
likes of you. - Oh, sugar.

136
00:06:17,030 --> 00:06:18,860
We got a wild one.

137
00:06:24,700 --> 00:06:26,139
You gotta be kidding me.

138
00:06:26,141 --> 00:06:27,388
Look, bud, all we're asking

139
00:06:27,390 --> 00:06:29,308
is that you release the swanky hostages.

140
00:06:29,310 --> 00:06:34,278
Not gonna happen until
I get $50 million!

141
00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:36,908
I'll wire it to you right now! Please!

142
00:06:36,910 --> 00:06:39,048
Hold your horses, I wasn't done.

143
00:06:39,050 --> 00:06:41,148
But let's defiantly sidebar after.

144
00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:44,718
Also, gonna need a W76-2 nuclear warhead

145
00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:46,758
on a Trident II D5 missile...

146
00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:50,888
I'm a military contractor. You
can have it. Just don't shoot!

147
00:06:50,890 --> 00:06:54,158
Wow. Okay. Well, you
know, while we're here...

148
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:59,360
I'm also gonna need a pair of
game-worn Air Jordan 2 OG's.

149
00:07:00,540 --> 00:07:02,168
Would ya stop starin' at me?

150
00:07:02,170 --> 00:07:03,968
Sorry, it's just...

151
00:07:03,970 --> 00:07:06,208
this is gonna sound crazy, but...

152
00:07:06,210 --> 00:07:08,608
since we're not going
anywhere anytime soon...

153
00:07:08,610 --> 00:07:12,648
after the first time we met,
I had a dream about you!

154
00:07:12,650 --> 00:07:15,218
- Boy was it wacky.
- Wacky how?

155
00:07:15,220 --> 00:07:17,948
We were on a yacht with these bankers.

156
00:07:17,950 --> 00:07:21,118
And get this: we were a couple! Right?

157
00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:23,288
Us? No way!

158
00:07:23,290 --> 00:07:25,658
That bleached skin gives
me the heebie-jeebies.

159
00:07:25,660 --> 00:07:28,058
It's gross. I mean, no offense!

160
00:07:28,060 --> 00:07:31,598
But in the dream, I
was so filled with rage,

161
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:34,238
I robbed the bankers.

162
00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:36,181
You didn't set them on fire, did you?

163
00:07:36,183 --> 00:07:38,208
Wait. You had the same dream?

164
00:07:38,210 --> 00:07:40,078
- Freaaaky.
- Yes!

165
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,608
A dream. Never happened. Pure
fiction. Not canon. Ignore it.

166
00:07:42,610 --> 00:07:45,378
It's like meeting you triggered some...

167
00:07:45,380 --> 00:07:47,918
Well, darn it, it felt like a past life!

168
00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:49,749
Funny, huh?

169
00:07:49,751 --> 00:07:51,021
- What are you doing?
- Jesus Christ,

170
00:07:51,023 --> 00:07:52,288
I'm getting us the fuck out of here.

171
00:07:52,290 --> 00:07:54,318
Please don't use the
Lord's name in vain.

172
00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:55,468
How much do you weigh?

173
00:07:55,470 --> 00:07:57,044
I did a Paleo November,

174
00:07:57,046 --> 00:07:59,188
and now I'm fitting
into my skinny cords.

175
00:07:59,190 --> 00:08:02,300
- So, I'm guessing around 170...
- Uh! Never mind.

176
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,300
This! Night! Sucks!

177
00:08:12,810 --> 00:08:16,278
Um, I think you just straight
up killed that guy back there.

178
00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:18,848
- Do you wanna talk about it, or...
- No.

179
00:08:18,850 --> 00:08:20,884
Are you sure? My girlfriend
says I'm a good listener.

180
00:08:20,886 --> 00:08:21,908
Sometimes too good.

181
00:08:21,910 --> 00:08:23,410
On what occasion would that be?

182
00:08:23,412 --> 00:08:25,818
Because you have not
shut the fuck up all night!

183
00:08:25,820 --> 00:08:28,058
It just seems to me like
you have something going on.

184
00:08:28,060 --> 00:08:30,228
Trust me, you're not someone
I can talk to about this.

185
00:08:30,230 --> 00:08:33,758
Why not? A bartender is
basically like a therapist.

186
00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:35,998
So, come on!

187
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,598
- I told my best friend I love her!
- There it is.

188
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,698
But she doesn't trust me
enough to love me back.

189
00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:42,339
You can't love without trust.

190
00:08:42,341 --> 00:08:44,293
I thought I was fine bein' alone

191
00:08:44,295 --> 00:08:46,208
after my relationship with Jok...

192
00:08:46,210 --> 00:08:49,008
esph... fina... stein.

193
00:08:49,010 --> 00:08:51,948
Joksephfinastein? Sounds Flemish.

194
00:08:51,950 --> 00:08:55,388
No one knew his backstory. Anyway,
he was a total abusive dick,

195
00:08:55,390 --> 00:08:56,893
hell-bent on utter destruction

196
00:08:56,895 --> 00:08:58,457
and the world's better off without him!

197
00:08:58,459 --> 00:09:01,758
You go, girl! Having a good
vent in a literal vent. Come on!

198
00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:03,030
Keep on going!

199
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,051
_

200
00:09:15,070 --> 00:09:17,068
This sucks. I'm not even doing anything.

201
00:09:17,070 --> 00:09:19,408
That's not true. You
get to hit the button.

202
00:09:19,410 --> 00:09:21,778
But I wanna fly the plane.

203
00:09:21,780 --> 00:09:24,078
Be a part of the action! At least
let me shoot a sweet missile.

204
00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:27,918
Okay. It takes years of training
to expertly control the Batplane.

205
00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:31,018
- But, Batman, I wanna!
- Alfred, this is ridiculous.

206
00:09:31,020 --> 00:09:32,818
Why don't you let me
go out there already?

207
00:09:32,820 --> 00:09:35,088
Your city needs you
healed, Master Bruce.

208
00:09:35,090 --> 00:09:38,428
I won't allow you to return
to action prematurely, again.

209
00:09:38,430 --> 00:09:40,798
Besides, it's only Parademons.

210
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,268
It's too hot.

211
00:09:42,270 --> 00:09:45,098
- You could wait, Master Wayne.
- Yes, Alfred...

212
00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:46,100
I could.

213
00:09:57,380 --> 00:09:59,418
Huh?

214
00:09:59,420 --> 00:10:02,148
Batman! Are you seeing this?
Gunfire at Wayne Tower.

215
00:10:02,150 --> 00:10:04,218
Come on, big guy! Give papa some action.

216
00:10:04,220 --> 00:10:07,088
Fine. Don't scratch the paint.

217
00:10:07,090 --> 00:10:08,390
Booya!

218
00:10:11,390 --> 00:10:13,958
I just feel so alone without Ivy!

219
00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,298
I mean, sure, there are some things
I could've done differently. Okay!

220
00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:18,268
At the end of the day, she broke
up with me 'cause I'm too impulsive

221
00:10:18,270 --> 00:10:20,338
and I go around 'causing
messes and never clean 'em up.

222
00:10:20,340 --> 00:10:23,116
Aw! Doesn't it feel good
just to say it out loud?

223
00:10:23,118 --> 00:10:25,968
- Harley? Well, well, well...
- No! Riddler?

224
00:10:25,970 --> 00:10:28,438
if it isn't the simple clown herself.

225
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:30,308
- How did you...
- Get here?

226
00:10:30,310 --> 00:10:32,548
Well, I escaped the mall.

227
00:10:32,550 --> 00:10:36,788
Then, I orchestrated a hostage
situation upstairs as a distraction,

228
00:10:36,790 --> 00:10:40,558
so I could sneak in
here to grab this baby.

229
00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:43,585
- Classic misdirect. - Yeah, yeah,
great. But, I was gonna say,

230
00:10:43,587 --> 00:10:45,098
- how did ya get so buff?
- Hmm?

231
00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:46,702
Oh. Spending every waking moment

232
00:10:46,704 --> 00:10:48,498
running on that hamster
wheel gets you shredded.

233
00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:51,328
I mean, check out these
quads... wait, wait, wait.

234
00:10:51,330 --> 00:10:52,828
Is that Joker?

235
00:10:52,830 --> 00:10:55,408
Oh, my, you think I look like the Joker?

236
00:10:59,070 --> 00:11:00,997
Nope, no! He's just a bartender

237
00:11:00,999 --> 00:11:02,602
who gives great, non-judgmental advice.

238
00:11:02,604 --> 00:11:05,644
Well, either way, you're both gonna die.

239
00:11:07,450 --> 00:11:09,719
Sure, I moved back to Gotham to see 'em,

240
00:11:09,721 --> 00:11:11,252
but what if my kids
don't want to see me?

241
00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:12,918
Don't say that, Carl.

242
00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:14,710
Yeah, but it's been seven long years.

243
00:11:14,712 --> 00:11:16,328
I left 'em when they needed me most.

244
00:11:16,330 --> 00:11:18,528
You can't keep blaming
yourself for the past.

245
00:11:18,530 --> 00:11:20,058
You need to forget.

246
00:11:20,060 --> 00:11:21,898
Maybe they're better off without me.

247
00:11:38,620 --> 00:11:40,780
Tuck in any fingers you wanna keep!

248
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:47,058
- Oh. What'd that do?
- I don't know.

249
00:11:47,060 --> 00:11:50,028
Oh, no. Carl, I'm so sorry...

250
00:11:50,030 --> 00:11:52,028
It's a cancer ray.

251
00:11:52,030 --> 00:11:54,198
Harley Quinn, you gave me cancer?

252
00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:56,099
Why would they even make this?

253
00:11:56,101 --> 00:11:57,613
Well, that's it, Kev. I'm gonna go

254
00:11:57,615 --> 00:11:59,238
spend the holidays with my kids.

255
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,540
I'm so sorry!

256
00:12:05,510 --> 00:12:07,510
No, no, please. Please, please... Ow!

257
00:12:13,620 --> 00:12:15,288
No.

258
00:12:15,290 --> 00:12:17,418
No, no, no. No, no, no, no!

259
00:12:17,420 --> 00:12:20,158
Ow!

260
00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:21,888
My blood sugar must be crashing.

261
00:12:21,890 --> 00:12:24,528
Is there a vending machine around here?

262
00:12:24,530 --> 00:12:26,358
Did you kill another person?

263
00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:28,258
Let's just chopper out of here.

264
00:12:28,260 --> 00:12:30,528
All that gratuitous violence. Yuck.

265
00:12:30,530 --> 00:12:32,498
This is why I don't like TV today.

266
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:34,468
Violence ups the dramatic effect.

267
00:12:34,470 --> 00:12:36,638
I got enough drama in my life.

268
00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:38,574
Just once, I'd like to watch something

269
00:12:38,576 --> 00:12:39,607
where two people fall in love,

270
00:12:39,609 --> 00:12:41,838
and experience no
complications whatsoever.

271
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:43,840
Oh, and they don't have
sex till they're married.

272
00:12:47,620 --> 00:12:50,120
Oh, my gosh, Batman?

273
00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:53,260
Harley Quinn! And...

274
00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:55,688
It's the Joker.

275
00:12:55,690 --> 00:12:59,088
I did it!

276
00:12:59,090 --> 00:13:02,058
I took down Batman's
archenemy! On my own.

277
00:13:02,060 --> 00:13:04,668
Papa for the win!

278
00:13:04,670 --> 00:13:07,268
Gordo?

279
00:13:07,270 --> 00:13:09,010
Good to see ya, buddy!

280
00:13:12,010 --> 00:13:13,978
What's happening?
Don't leave me in here!

281
00:13:13,980 --> 00:13:15,979
Please, I don't like small spaces!

282
00:13:15,981 --> 00:13:17,493
I knew it was only
a matter of time until

283
00:13:17,495 --> 00:13:19,618
you two psychos started
knocking boots again.

284
00:13:19,620 --> 00:13:22,018
What? No. Uh! See, he's...

285
00:13:22,020 --> 00:13:23,448
Never mind, I'll explain later.

286
00:13:23,450 --> 00:13:26,158
Harley! We came as soon
as we got your text.

287
00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:29,058
Indeed! I paused the
Tonys and I'm DVRing it,

288
00:13:29,060 --> 00:13:31,528
so no one tell me who won
Best Lighting in a Musical.

289
00:13:31,530 --> 00:13:33,958
It was Howell Binkley, wasn't it?

290
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:38,268
When's Japhy Weideman going to
get his day in the fucking sun!

291
00:13:38,270 --> 00:13:40,840
- I didn't text anyone.
- Then who did?

292
00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:44,568
Swole!

293
00:13:44,570 --> 00:13:46,378
Did ya just run up 18 flights?

294
00:13:46,380 --> 00:13:49,108
Uh, try 19 and a half.

295
00:13:49,110 --> 00:13:51,618
How did you escape
Psycho's fortified jail?

296
00:13:51,620 --> 00:13:53,520
And get so hot without us knowing?

297
00:13:57,350 --> 00:13:59,288
Here ya go, pal.

298
00:13:59,290 --> 00:14:01,658
You know what, I lied. I
did have your phone number.

299
00:14:01,660 --> 00:14:04,358
I actually had everyone's phone number!

300
00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:07,128
And I was the one who texted you all!

301
00:14:07,130 --> 00:14:08,668
How dare you?

302
00:14:08,670 --> 00:14:10,628
Yep! And get this...

303
00:14:10,630 --> 00:14:13,138
we actually like each other. A lot.

304
00:14:13,140 --> 00:14:15,068
You were working for Riddler all along.

305
00:14:15,070 --> 00:14:17,568
- Um, actually...
- He's with me.

306
00:14:17,570 --> 00:14:19,608
You're dating Riddler?

307
00:14:19,610 --> 00:14:22,508
Quel scandale!

308
00:14:22,510 --> 00:14:25,078
Okay, we're not fucking!

309
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:26,448
- We're together!
- I see.

310
00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:28,278
Not using labels yet, are we?

311
00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:31,188
Too new, is it? Lot of changes, Psycho.

312
00:14:31,190 --> 00:14:33,458
Dating, hooking up, "baring ass".

313
00:14:33,460 --> 00:14:34,908
Call it what you will,

314
00:14:34,910 --> 00:14:38,288
I'm proud of you for
finally being who you are.

315
00:14:38,290 --> 00:14:40,530
We're in a business partnership

316
00:14:40,532 --> 00:14:43,268
based on mutual respect, idiot.

317
00:14:43,270 --> 00:14:45,638
And you know what, he doesn't
belittle me like you did, Quinn.

318
00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:47,098
How did I belittle you?

319
00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:49,108
You never recognized my talent!

320
00:14:49,110 --> 00:14:51,208
You never let me shine!

321
00:14:51,210 --> 00:14:53,178
And also, you hated working for a woman.

322
00:14:53,180 --> 00:14:55,608
Okay, also I hated working
for a woman! But who cares?

323
00:14:55,610 --> 00:14:58,378
So, you and Ninja Turtle Calves
are gonna fight us? Oh, please.

324
00:14:58,380 --> 00:15:01,248
You're a tiny man in
a silly tinfoil hat.

325
00:15:01,250 --> 00:15:03,250
All right, here we go!

326
00:15:09,490 --> 00:15:12,158
Maybe your gal-pal Ivy can help!

327
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:14,828
You wanna call her, maybe?

328
00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:18,098
No, I don't wanna get her
wrapped up in this 'cause this...

329
00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:20,598
This is a very strong example

330
00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:23,110
of one of those messes I
make I was tellin' you about.

331
00:15:24,510 --> 00:15:27,138
This "tinfoil hat"

332
00:15:27,140 --> 00:15:29,108
amplifies brainwaves,

333
00:15:29,110 --> 00:15:31,708
supercharging my mind powers.

334
00:15:31,710 --> 00:15:33,537
And with this bad boy,

335
00:15:33,539 --> 00:15:35,718
plus my new hobby of guided meditation,

336
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:39,388
I can control every
Parademon in the city.

337
00:15:39,390 --> 00:15:43,188
Oh, I see. He's doin' my old
plan of takin' over Gotham

338
00:15:43,190 --> 00:15:44,758
to team up with Darkseid
and rule the Earth.

339
00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:47,258
Then I'm gonna take over Gotham

340
00:15:47,260 --> 00:15:49,598
- and team up with Dark...
- She just said that.

341
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,298
Shit! Fuck.

342
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:53,538
The point is, I'm gonna
do what you never could,

343
00:15:53,540 --> 00:15:55,338
because you are a pussy.

344
00:15:55,340 --> 00:15:58,168
Pussies are powerful. They
birthed all of humanity!

345
00:15:58,170 --> 00:15:59,280
I was a C-Section.

346
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:04,478
Bring it on! I'm hungry for Parademons!

347
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:06,180
Stage combat!

348
00:16:07,650 --> 00:16:09,788
Get me outta here! Not...

349
00:16:09,790 --> 00:16:11,648
- _
- This one! This one...

350
00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:24,628
Wow. It's like straight steel.

351
00:16:24,630 --> 00:16:27,268
What's black, blue, and red all over?

352
00:16:27,270 --> 00:16:29,168
Your ass when I beat it!

353
00:16:29,170 --> 00:16:31,538
I guess when the abs get harder,
the riddles get dumber.

354
00:16:31,540 --> 00:16:32,890
Bring it, bitch.

355
00:16:42,420 --> 00:16:44,488
I've got this, boys.

356
00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:48,390
And it's all you.

357
00:16:51,290 --> 00:16:54,258
Give up, Psycho, and
maybe I'll let you live

358
00:16:54,260 --> 00:16:57,268
as one of those orphans
that builds Wayneboxes.

359
00:16:57,270 --> 00:16:59,240
Uh... I'm gonna pass!

360
00:17:10,210 --> 00:17:12,608
You thought this would be a fair fight?

361
00:17:12,610 --> 00:17:15,310
You're going down!

362
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:21,318
Why didn't it work on the old timer?

363
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:23,528
Same reason I can't go to the airport:

364
00:17:23,530 --> 00:17:25,288
metal plates, baby!

365
00:17:25,290 --> 00:17:27,958
God, you're old. Whatever.
I'll kill you too.

366
00:17:33,540 --> 00:17:35,968
Why don't you just
brainwash me and end this?

367
00:17:35,970 --> 00:17:39,308
Oh, but where's the pizazz in that?

368
00:17:39,310 --> 00:17:43,548
It's way more fun to torture
you with everything you love.

369
00:17:43,550 --> 00:17:47,280
This right here is exactly why
you're a terrible supervillain.

370
00:17:57,390 --> 00:18:00,928
You know what, for too long
I've been looked at as a joke,

371
00:18:00,930 --> 00:18:02,557
but when I'm through,

372
00:18:02,559 --> 00:18:06,368
people are gonna respect
the name Dr. Psycho!

373
00:18:06,370 --> 00:18:09,538
With Batman and the Justice League gone,

374
00:18:09,540 --> 00:18:12,608
Gotham was yours for the taking, Harley.

375
00:18:12,610 --> 00:18:14,610
But you couldn't do it.

376
00:18:22,261 --> 00:18:24,390
You know, I should thank you, Harley.

377
00:18:24,392 --> 00:18:26,546
If you never made me feel so small,

378
00:18:26,548 --> 00:18:29,262
I never would've known
how big I could be.

379
00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:42,638
Quinn, God I hate you,

380
00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:44,309
but I need your help.

381
00:18:44,311 --> 00:18:46,838
If we can break through the dome
we can escape in the Batplane.

382
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:48,878
Can't you just use a bat-missile?

383
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,978
Yeah. We could, but sometimes
I just don't feel like it.

384
00:18:51,980 --> 00:18:53,618
Or I don't wanna.

385
00:18:53,620 --> 00:18:55,578
All right, I'm not allowed to use them.

386
00:18:55,580 --> 00:18:57,788
- I'll do it. I'll break through
the dome. - What?

387
00:18:57,790 --> 00:18:59,548
Sy, that's suicide!

388
00:19:00,660 --> 00:19:03,528
Harley, dear, I'll admit,

389
00:19:03,530 --> 00:19:05,522
when you left the mall earlier tonight,

390
00:19:05,524 --> 00:19:07,858
I did not expect to be in this position.

391
00:19:07,860 --> 00:19:10,828
- But it's a gift!
- Sy, you're...

392
00:19:10,830 --> 00:19:12,538
You're standing.

393
00:19:12,540 --> 00:19:14,868
This is me feeding my soul, baby.

394
00:19:14,870 --> 00:19:17,868
Nothing would make me fuller
than saving your tuchis

395
00:19:17,870 --> 00:19:22,078
and helping you take down that
angry little shvants in a tux.

396
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:23,349
I never liked that one.

397
00:19:23,351 --> 00:19:25,978
He's gonna kill all of us
if you don't stop talking.

398
00:19:25,980 --> 00:19:27,818
Oh.

399
00:19:27,820 --> 00:19:30,348
You were the best
landlord I've ever had.

400
00:19:30,350 --> 00:19:32,588
You always fixed our oven so fast,

401
00:19:32,590 --> 00:19:34,688
and you never judged me
no matter how many times

402
00:19:34,690 --> 00:19:36,888
I flushed my tampons down the toilet.

403
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:43,700
As long as you've got this,
you've always got a friend.

404
00:19:51,980 --> 00:19:53,778
Hey, Psycho!

405
00:19:53,780 --> 00:19:57,848
Thousands of years ago,
my people, the Maccabees,

406
00:19:57,850 --> 00:20:01,348
prayed for oil to last
when they needed it most.

407
00:20:01,350 --> 00:20:06,458
Unlucky for you, that very
same oil runs through my veins

408
00:20:06,460 --> 00:20:08,488
today!

409
00:20:11,860 --> 00:20:14,358
Yes! I mean darn.

410
00:20:14,363 --> 00:20:17,101
- _ - Ah, those Parademons took
out the communications system.

411
00:20:17,103 --> 00:20:19,438
No more autopilot! Buckle up, Quinn.

412
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,750
Papa's about to earn himself some wings.

413
00:20:29,710 --> 00:20:34,018
I regret lots of things!

414
00:20:43,930 --> 00:20:45,290
Fuck!

415
00:20:47,730 --> 00:20:50,828
Okay, that was the plane's fault.

416
00:20:50,830 --> 00:20:52,838
We need to take Psycho down, now.

417
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:55,018
Who knows how much damage
he can do with that helmet?

418
00:20:55,020 --> 00:20:58,067
Yeah, but how? It'd take, like, the
entire Justice League to stop him.

419
00:20:58,069 --> 00:20:59,878
I had a dream about them, too.

420
00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:03,448
This is gonna sound crazy
but they were stuck in a book.

421
00:21:03,450 --> 00:21:06,748
- What did ya just say?
- Yeah. It was this Book of Fables?

422
00:21:06,750 --> 00:21:08,787
Yeah! Queen of Fables.
How did you know that?

423
00:21:08,789 --> 00:21:11,488
Was in one of my dreams. I held a book

424
00:21:11,490 --> 00:21:13,958
with the entire Justice League in it.

425
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,928
But, you know, then I woke up
and I don't remember the rest.

426
00:21:16,930 --> 00:21:18,658
Weird!

427
00:21:18,660 --> 00:21:20,600
Gordon, I need you to
drop us off somewhere.

428
00:21:22,970 --> 00:21:25,198
There's a lot of powerful memories here.

429
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,068
Is this your hideout?

430
00:21:27,070 --> 00:21:29,808
It's not very cozy. Let me call Beth.

431
00:21:29,810 --> 00:21:32,708
She has family in Central
City. We could stay there

432
00:21:32,710 --> 00:21:34,678
till this whole mess blows over.

433
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:37,878
Just me, Beth, the kids,
and my new pal Harley Quinn.

434
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,678
Nah, no, no, Ivy was right.
I keep makin' messes.

435
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:42,138
I brought in the Parademons.

436
00:21:42,140 --> 00:21:44,188
I took in Psycho. I caused all of this.

437
00:21:44,190 --> 00:21:46,388
I can't keep runnin' from my messes.

438
00:21:46,390 --> 00:21:48,118
And the way I see it,
cleanup starts with

439
00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:50,628
gettin' the Justice League
out of that storybook.

440
00:21:50,630 --> 00:21:52,558
The storybook is real? Where is it?

441
00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:54,528
I don't know, but I think you do.

442
00:21:54,530 --> 00:21:56,628
Are you sure you can't just remember?

443
00:21:56,630 --> 00:21:59,568
It's like I see the book, but...

444
00:21:59,570 --> 00:22:01,099
everything else is cloudy.

445
00:22:01,101 --> 00:22:05,007
That's disappointing because
I really, really, really,

446
00:22:05,009 --> 00:22:06,738
don't wanna have to do this.

447
00:22:06,740 --> 00:22:08,808
Do what?

448
00:22:08,810 --> 00:22:11,948
I'll be seein' ya soon, Mistah J.

449
00:22:25,162 --> 00:22:28,162
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -