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www.subtitulamos.tv

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_

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These ass termites
are killing me!

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Make it stop!

5
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Don't worry, woodsman.

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I just need to do
one more dust run for grandma,

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and she's promised to give us
that super expensive,

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life-saving ass cream.

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Grandma?

10
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You mean the biggest dust lord
in all of villardia?

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You made a deal
with that psychopath?

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You know this is the only way we can
get the medicine that you need.

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_

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Oh, no,

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this is too obvious.

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Haven't worn this thing
in forever.

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I guess it'll work.

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Just hold on a little longer,
old buddy.

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I'll be back in a jiff

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with that super-powered
medicinal cream

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that's going to get your ass
back up on his feet

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in no time.

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_

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Okay.
You guys are good to go.

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Oh, wait. One second.

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What do we have here?

27
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Bootleg blu-rays.

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You're going to jail...

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forever!

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All right. Next.

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What's in the basket?

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Just some wasabi peas,
some ghost-pepper chips,

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and some candy-cane joe-joes.

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Mind if I pat you down?

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Go for it.

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Officer bad wolf,

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may I speak with you for a
moment in my office, please?

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What's up, sarge?

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You're going to
let that girl go.

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Let her go?

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She's carrying dust. I know it.

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That girl is small potatoes.

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We're after the big potatoes...

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Grandma sicario-hernandez,

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the top fairy-dust lord
in Villardia.

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We've been trying to get her
for the past 15 years.

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We just haven't had
the evidence,

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but with your help,
we're going to get her.

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What do I have to do?

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One... beat the target
to grandma's house.

51
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Two... subdue
and secure grandma.

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Three... assume the role
of grandma.

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Four... wait for the target
to arrive with the evidence.

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Five... once you have
the evidence in hand,

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make the arrests
and call in the calvary.

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If we catch her with this,
she'll die in prison...

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Of old age.

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Aye-aye, sir.

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Okay.

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You're good to go.

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Enjoy your stay in villardia.

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Really? Well, thank you.

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Bye.

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See you at grandma's, bitch.

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Finally, grandma's house.

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I'll be back home
smearing life-saving ass cream

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on the woodsman by dusk.

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Come in.

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Granny, I got the package.

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Where do you want me to put...

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what are you doing in bed?

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I...

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got the squirts from...

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drinking too much nasty juice.

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Uh, okay.

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Hey, what's with that hair
on your hands?

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Oh, uh, I guess there's just
a lot of testosterone pumping

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from all that
dangerous dust dealing I do.

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All right. Enough chit-chat.

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How about you unload
that merch already?

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_

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There you go.
Now, where's my ass cream?

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Border patrol.

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You're under arrest
for the possession

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and transportation of
illegal dust over state lines.

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Boom, bitch.

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But what about the woodsman?

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He's going to die
without his ass medicine.

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Eff the woodsman, and eff you!

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You should've thought about that
before you broke the law.

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You hear that, grandma?

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You're going to prison.

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Help me.

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Breaker, breaker, this is
baby eagle calling mama eagle.

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The goose has laid
the golden egg.

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Mama eagle, do you read me?

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Let me go!

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I need to save the woodsman!

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_

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Loud and clear, baby eagle.

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You made your mama proud.

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Calvary is on its way.
We are five minutes...

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You should've just given me
the ass cream.

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Stop!

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I'll give you anything you want!

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Slide over the keys
to the handcuffs.

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Wwhat's going on?

108
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This man... he came into
my house and he tied me up

109
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and he put me
in this rubbermaid.

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I'm just a sweet little grandma.

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Cut the grandma shit, grandma.

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I brought the dust.

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Now give me the cream.

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You led the pigs right to me,
you little fool!

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I ain't giving you shit!

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Oh, yeah? We'll see about that.

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It's under my wig.

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_

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Get the hell out of here.

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Really?

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You heard me.

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Get the fuck out of here!

123
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Letting me go was the biggest
mistake of your life, you honky!

124
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It's grandma.
She's trying to escape!

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Shit!

126
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We've got you surrounded.

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Come out with your hands
in the air.

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Don't shoot!
She's got me cuffed!

129
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She's crazy!

130
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Here are my demands!

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Bring me the woodsman,
$100,000, and a chopper,

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and if I don't get it,
I'm going to start cutting off

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chunks of the wolf
every five minutes!

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Sounds to me
like she's bluffing, boys.

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Jesus christ.
Get her whatever she wants.

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You think you're pretty tough.

137
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I was in iraq.

138
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Congratulations.

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I don't give a shit!

140
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The chopper is here.

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Red, it is I,
the woodsman.

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Let me in.

143
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You did this all for me?

144
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Bend over.

145
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Thank you.

146
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You've given me a second chance.

147
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I love...

148
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No!

149
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I learned that in baghdad,
bitch.

150
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I bet you give a shit now.

151
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You son of a bitch!

152
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You men,
secure the north perimeter.

153
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Shots fired! Light it up!

154
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Cease fire! Cease fire!

155
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Everybody, move in!
Use caution!

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Dear god.

157
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Her face looks like
a bowl of pasta fagioli.

158
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Sir, it's the woodsman.

159
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He ate a knife.

160
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They got wolfie.

161
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He's dead.

162
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He was a decorated
Iraq war veteran

163
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and a hell
of a border patrol cop.

164
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He's still alive.

165
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Get him to the chopper now.

166
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Where's that little bitch
red riding hood?

167
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There's no way
she got out of here.

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Sarge, we've looked everywhere.

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She ain't here.

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Ah, don't give me that
half-assed rookie bullshit.

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She is still here.

172
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Turn this place inside out.

173
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Now go, go, go!

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What's up, doc?

175
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What's going on back there?

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Wait.

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You hear that?

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The chopper... it's coming back.

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She must have been inside his...

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Ass termites!

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