1
00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:05,000
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -

2
00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:40,258
Mr. President, Jim Gordon,

3
00:00:40,260 --> 00:00:43,728
aka Gotham PD Commissioner,
aka the Commish,

4
00:00:43,730 --> 00:00:45,388
but you can call me Gordo.

5
00:00:45,390 --> 00:00:47,059
Sir, Gotham City is finally ready to...

6
00:00:47,061 --> 00:00:48,558
- Please hold for the President.
- Ah!

7
00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:50,728
Sorry, I thought you were the President.

8
00:00:50,730 --> 00:00:52,268
- No, I'm his secretary.
- Well, yes.

9
00:00:52,270 --> 00:00:53,719
Now that you say it,

10
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:56,338
it makes sense that the President
wouldn't answer his own phone.

11
00:00:56,340 --> 00:00:58,568
Just that I don't often
hear of a male secretary.

12
00:00:58,570 --> 00:01:01,138
- This is the President.
- Sir, I, on my own,

13
00:01:01,140 --> 00:01:02,487
with no help from others,

14
00:01:02,489 --> 00:01:05,378
definitely singlehandedly
took out the Injustice League.

15
00:01:05,380 --> 00:01:09,318
Gotham City is ready to
rejoin the United States.

16
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,781
Gordo... Can I call you that?

17
00:01:10,783 --> 00:01:11,812
I'd prefer that.

18
00:01:11,814 --> 00:01:13,312
Gordo, according to my intel,

19
00:01:13,314 --> 00:01:15,888
there's still one supervillain
who is running amok.

20
00:01:15,890 --> 00:01:17,588
Harley Quinn.

21
00:01:17,590 --> 00:01:20,728
Uh... she's nothing but
a polyp up my bunghole.

22
00:01:20,730 --> 00:01:21,958
Irritating? Sure.

23
00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:24,129
Uncomfortable? Absolutely.

24
00:01:24,131 --> 00:01:25,591
Horrifying to sexual partners

25
00:01:25,593 --> 00:01:27,500
and oftentimes a deal
breaker? Definitely.

26
00:01:27,502 --> 00:01:30,468
But nothing that a doctor-prescribed
cream can't take care of.

27
00:01:30,470 --> 00:01:31,938
That is...

28
00:01:31,940 --> 00:01:35,448
a lot of specific knowledge
about anal polyps.

29
00:01:35,450 --> 00:01:36,669
You're talking to an expert.

30
00:01:36,671 --> 00:01:39,547
Look, Gordo, Harley Quinn
caused the downfall of Gotham.

31
00:01:39,549 --> 00:01:40,658
She's a menace.

32
00:01:40,660 --> 00:01:43,198
She strikes fear into the
heart of the public psyche.

33
00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,418
If she's still out there,
Gotham isn't safe.

34
00:01:45,420 --> 00:01:48,388
Take care of Harley Quinn and
I'll put Gotham back on the map.

35
00:01:48,390 --> 00:01:51,388
I'm coming for you, Quinn.

36
00:02:02,270 --> 00:02:04,908
Harls, if we're going to talk
about it, let's just talk about it.

37
00:02:04,910 --> 00:02:06,838
I mean, pssh, if you want
to, I guess I could. Yeah.

38
00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:08,748
That was... crazy, right?

39
00:02:08,750 --> 00:02:09,979
So, crazy.

40
00:02:09,981 --> 00:02:11,648
I've been thinking a
lot, and I think it was...

41
00:02:11,650 --> 00:02:13,978
An impetuous, spur of the moment thing.

42
00:02:13,980 --> 00:02:14,981
- You know?
- Yes.

43
00:02:14,983 --> 00:02:16,718
It was the adrenaline
of escaping, you know.

44
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:17,721
I just think it went to our heads.

45
00:02:17,723 --> 00:02:19,521
- Hundred percent.
- We weren't really thinking.

46
00:02:19,523 --> 00:02:21,588
- You know?
- It's so weird and uncanny

47
00:02:21,590 --> 00:02:23,458
how you just said everything
I was going to say.

48
00:02:23,460 --> 00:02:25,628
I think we just chalk
it up to a crazy moment

49
00:02:25,630 --> 00:02:26,699
where something crazy happened.

50
00:02:26,701 --> 00:02:27,780
You know what I mean? I mean, that's it.

51
00:02:27,782 --> 00:02:29,573
Totally. Totally! It was so me!

52
00:02:29,575 --> 00:02:31,898
It was Harley Quinn,
always doing crazy things!

53
00:02:31,900 --> 00:02:33,568
Always being impetuous! Hey!

54
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:34,668
Always kissing people!

55
00:02:34,670 --> 00:02:35,908
- Muah!
- Ugh!

56
00:02:35,910 --> 00:02:39,268
Disgusting! You're not my type.

57
00:02:39,270 --> 00:02:40,938
Harley, are you sure you're cool, or...

58
00:02:40,940 --> 00:02:44,348
Yes. I swear to you. I'm
cool. I'm just... We are cool.

59
00:02:44,350 --> 00:02:46,418
Ugh, great! I'm just glad
we're on the same page.

60
00:02:46,420 --> 00:02:48,118
I mean, I'm getting
married to Kite Man soon.

61
00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:50,321
- You know, so I gotta focus on that.
- Obvs!

62
00:02:50,323 --> 00:02:51,622
Yeah, I'm super busy, too.

63
00:02:51,624 --> 00:02:53,888
I'm like planning my next
move. So many moves. All...

64
00:02:53,890 --> 00:02:55,888
Almost too many moves.

65
00:02:55,890 --> 00:02:58,558
Wow, look at that. I'm actually
late to a move planning meeting.

66
00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:00,298
Oh, this is so good.

67
00:03:00,300 --> 00:03:01,999
Harley, I'm just glad
we talked about this.

68
00:03:02,001 --> 00:03:04,698
And I would never want anything to
mess up our friendship, you know?

69
00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:06,938
Yes, totally. Yeah, especially
not over some kiss

70
00:03:06,940 --> 00:03:09,338
that, you know, didn't
even mean anything.

71
00:03:09,340 --> 00:03:13,008
So, are you gonna tell Kite Man?

72
00:03:13,010 --> 00:03:14,738
How could you do this to me?

73
00:03:14,740 --> 00:03:16,908
Babe, I'm so sorry.

74
00:03:16,910 --> 00:03:19,826
Look, I meant to call for a
reservation and stuff came up.

75
00:03:19,828 --> 00:03:21,078
I said I'm sorry.

76
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:22,796
Sorry doesn't get us a table

77
00:03:22,798 --> 00:03:25,209
at Seņor Mexico's authentic
Mexican adobe house,

78
00:03:25,211 --> 00:03:27,788
which is my parents' favorite
brunch spot in all of Gotham.

79
00:03:29,860 --> 00:03:33,398
- Babe, you all right?
- Yes. I'm... I'm just... It's...

80
00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:34,861
I've got a lot on my mind right now.

81
00:03:34,863 --> 00:03:37,611
Hey. I'm sorry for putting
so much pressure on you.

82
00:03:37,613 --> 00:03:39,268
It's just the first time
they're meeting you,

83
00:03:39,270 --> 00:03:40,798
and I want them to love
you as much as I do,

84
00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:42,598
because, no pressure,
if they don't love you

85
00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:43,669
they won't approve of the wedding,

86
00:03:43,671 --> 00:03:44,880
and then they won't come to the wedding!

87
00:03:44,882 --> 00:03:46,675
Honey, I will make
sure that they love me.

88
00:03:46,677 --> 00:03:48,186
Because parents always love me.

89
00:03:48,188 --> 00:03:50,478
I mean, not my parents
or any other parents.

90
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,478
But the point is for your parents? Ah!

91
00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:54,848
I'm gonna just blow them away.

92
00:03:54,850 --> 00:03:56,918
God, I love you.

93
00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:59,548
Okay. So, as we all
know, I'm super busy,

94
00:03:59,550 --> 00:04:01,688
I'm a crazy busy,
busiest I've ever been.

95
00:04:01,690 --> 00:04:04,528
The question is, what
am I super busy with?

96
00:04:04,530 --> 00:04:05,718
What's next?

97
00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:07,928
I thought we were gonna
chill out and have fun

98
00:04:07,930 --> 00:04:09,668
after we took the Injustice League out?

99
00:04:09,670 --> 00:04:10,808
Oh, yeah. We're gonna have fun.

100
00:04:10,810 --> 00:04:13,768
As I become the world's
most feared supervillain!

101
00:04:13,770 --> 00:04:15,438
That's not you.

102
00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:17,638
The gravitas just isn't there.

103
00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:19,239
The gravitas is there!

104
00:04:19,241 --> 00:04:23,508
Harley, first I want to
apologize for these pussies!

105
00:04:23,510 --> 00:04:26,818
I, for one, welcome you
pushing the evil envelope.

106
00:04:26,820 --> 00:04:28,648
This is what I've dreamed of.

107
00:04:28,650 --> 00:04:31,088
If you want to do some truly evil shit,

108
00:04:31,090 --> 00:04:32,788
then I'm your guy!

109
00:04:32,790 --> 00:04:34,588
What are your thoughts
on killing puppies?

110
00:04:36,030 --> 00:04:37,958
Harley, I've come to
warn you about my...

111
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:40,958
- Wait, who are you?
- Um... Batgirl. Anyway...

112
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:42,059
All right. You know what?

113
00:04:42,061 --> 00:04:43,968
As a community, we
should really get together

114
00:04:43,970 --> 00:04:45,863
and start coming up
with more creative names.

115
00:04:45,865 --> 00:04:46,879
This is bullshit.

116
00:04:46,881 --> 00:04:51,508
Can I just say, I love the
stitch work on your costume, girl.

117
00:04:51,510 --> 00:04:53,178
I see you.

118
00:04:53,180 --> 00:04:54,438
Aw, geez, thanks.

119
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:56,148
Why the hell are you here?

120
00:04:56,150 --> 00:04:57,978
Gordon's coming to take you down.

121
00:04:57,980 --> 00:05:01,348
You are what stands in the way of
Gotham rejoining the United States.

122
00:05:01,350 --> 00:05:02,558
And I've come here to warn you

123
00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:03,788
because he thinks you're a villain,

124
00:05:03,790 --> 00:05:05,018
but I know that you're not.

125
00:05:05,020 --> 00:05:06,888
What? I'm bad as hell.

126
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:08,158
Total villain over here!

127
00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:09,319
Fuck, yeah!

128
00:05:09,321 --> 00:05:12,458
That's the Harley I've been waiting for.

129
00:05:12,460 --> 00:05:13,683
Own it, girl!

130
00:05:13,685 --> 00:05:16,028
You did kick the Legion
of Doom out of Gotham,

131
00:05:16,030 --> 00:05:18,096
killed Joker, got rid
of the Injustice League.

132
00:05:18,098 --> 00:05:19,338
Those were all heroic things.

133
00:05:19,340 --> 00:05:21,598
This is what we were just saying.

134
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:23,408
See? Batgirl gets it.

135
00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:24,808
You want me to melt her mind?

136
00:05:24,810 --> 00:05:26,621
I will melt her mind.

137
00:05:26,623 --> 00:05:29,538
All I'm saying is lay low, and
hopefully this'll all blow over.

138
00:05:29,540 --> 00:05:30,759
No time to lay low!

139
00:05:30,761 --> 00:05:33,448
I was just telling Ivy how
I am a very busy person,

140
00:05:33,450 --> 00:05:34,588
and that's what I am.

141
00:05:34,590 --> 00:05:36,625
So I am going to lay
very high, thank you.

142
00:05:36,627 --> 00:05:38,688
Harley, he won't stop until he gets you.

143
00:05:38,690 --> 00:05:40,458
You heard about what he did to Two-Face,

144
00:05:40,460 --> 00:05:42,088
and Two-Face had a whole mess of goons.

145
00:05:42,090 --> 00:05:44,188
So, what you're saying
is I need an army.

146
00:05:44,190 --> 00:05:47,098
No, that's 100% not what I was say...

147
00:05:47,100 --> 00:05:49,668
- You tell Commissioner Gor-dumb...
- Nice!

148
00:05:49,670 --> 00:05:51,828
... that I am the baddest bitch in town.

149
00:05:51,830 --> 00:05:53,771
I'm Harley Quinn! I'm impetuous!

150
00:05:53,773 --> 00:05:55,374
I kiss people at random!

151
00:05:55,376 --> 00:05:56,987
- Muah!
- What's happening?

152
00:05:56,989 --> 00:06:00,078
I am a supervillain,
and Gordon better sack up

153
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:03,078
and prepare for an all-out
war with me and my army.

154
00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:04,848
- Thanks for the heads up.
- No, again,

155
00:06:04,850 --> 00:06:07,918
that was 100% not what I was saying...

156
00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:09,235
All right, listen. New plan.

157
00:06:09,237 --> 00:06:10,648
We are gonna defeat Gordon.

158
00:06:10,650 --> 00:06:11,958
We just need an evil army.

159
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:14,336
Anyone know how we can get an evil army?

160
00:06:14,338 --> 00:06:16,360
I am rock hard right now!

161
00:06:16,362 --> 00:06:17,688
That's nasty.

162
00:06:17,690 --> 00:06:19,798
Harley, what has gotten into you?

163
00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:21,980
Ever since you and Ivy
emerged from Bane's pit,

164
00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:23,898
you seem unlike yourself.

165
00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:26,838
Yeah, you never said anything
about being a warlord.

166
00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:28,638
Plus, where are we going to get an army?

167
00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:30,908
Especially since the
goons have unionized.

168
00:06:30,910 --> 00:06:31,940
Nothing happened in the pit,

169
00:06:31,942 --> 00:06:34,438
and I am absolutely
being totally like myself.

170
00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:35,911
And no one is getting in my way.

171
00:06:35,913 --> 00:06:37,362
Not even Gordon.

172
00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:39,878
You know what? I think I
know where we can get an army.

173
00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:42,088
But it's some real deal villain shit.

174
00:06:42,090 --> 00:06:44,591
You got to get your hands
dirty. Are you down to do that?

175
00:06:44,593 --> 00:06:46,818
Bitch, please. I am super down.

176
00:06:46,820 --> 00:06:48,058
This is exactly what I want to do.

177
00:06:48,060 --> 00:06:49,888
I'm Harley Quinn. I'm impetuous!

178
00:06:49,890 --> 00:06:52,028
I kiss people for no reason.

179
00:06:52,030 --> 00:06:53,461
Muah!

180
00:06:53,463 --> 00:06:56,598
Yeah, you've made that whole
kissing thing really clear, Harley.

181
00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:59,198
Hey, sup. Uh, I don't
really care either way,

182
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,638
but what're the chances
you have a four top?

183
00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:03,468
Four top is restaurant speak for...

184
00:07:03,470 --> 00:07:05,778
A table, for four people. Thanks.

185
00:07:05,780 --> 00:07:07,078
My little foodie.

186
00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:08,638
Yeah, it's a three-hour wait. Sorry.

187
00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:10,108
Oh, boy!

188
00:07:10,110 --> 00:07:12,308
Um, babe, those people over there

189
00:07:12,310 --> 00:07:15,250
that look like a country club
fucked a yacht club are waving at us.

190
00:07:15,252 --> 00:07:17,048
Charles dear, over here!

191
00:07:17,050 --> 00:07:20,288
Mother, Father, please meet
the love of my life, Pamela.

192
00:07:20,290 --> 00:07:21,874
You didn't make a reservation.

193
00:07:21,876 --> 00:07:24,688
- Mother, I am so sorry.
- Oh, God.

194
00:07:24,690 --> 00:07:26,400
I had to have the credit card company

195
00:07:26,402 --> 00:07:28,698
concierge read management the riot act

196
00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:31,228
and we still got stuck
here with the hoi polloi.

197
00:07:31,230 --> 00:07:33,698
Our usual booth was taken.

198
00:07:33,700 --> 00:07:35,868
Oh. You know what? Let
me talk to the manager.

199
00:07:35,870 --> 00:07:38,138
Good luck to her, I say.

200
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,948
Well, look at that. A
booth just opened up.

201
00:07:42,950 --> 00:07:46,248
Pam, I must say, I like your style.

202
00:07:46,250 --> 00:07:47,481
Well, shall we?

203
00:07:47,483 --> 00:07:50,048
Seņorita, can we get four mimosas

204
00:07:50,050 --> 00:07:53,318
and an order of your mashed
avocado? Gracias.

205
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:57,128
And if I don't escape my
shackles in five minutes,

206
00:07:57,130 --> 00:08:00,128
I will plunge to my death!

207
00:08:00,130 --> 00:08:02,098
Okay. Where's this
army you're promising?

208
00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:03,399
Well, as you all know,

209
00:08:03,401 --> 00:08:06,652
I have always had a huge
hard-on for world domination.

210
00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:08,585
- Well, that's on brand.
- Just disgusting.

211
00:08:08,587 --> 00:08:12,175
And there is truly only one
foolproof way I've found to get it.

212
00:08:12,177 --> 00:08:14,608
That idiot in the technicolor dreamcoat

213
00:08:14,610 --> 00:08:16,555
has a device called a "Mother Box"

214
00:08:16,557 --> 00:08:18,978
that can create a "Boom Tube".

215
00:08:18,980 --> 00:08:21,115
We take the Boom Tube to Apokolips,

216
00:08:21,117 --> 00:08:24,088
where Darkseid has a whole
shitload of amazing armies.

217
00:08:24,090 --> 00:08:25,718
We kiss Darkseid's ring,

218
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,388
pledge fealty, blah blah blah,

219
00:08:27,390 --> 00:08:30,028
he gives us an army of
flying monkey lizards,

220
00:08:30,030 --> 00:08:32,222
and we take out Gotham by supper.

221
00:08:32,224 --> 00:08:33,395
Eff, yes!

222
00:08:33,397 --> 00:08:34,998
I'm an eff maybe...

223
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,228
I find that plan to have many holes.

224
00:08:37,230 --> 00:08:40,067
How would one even
procure a Mother's Box?

225
00:08:40,069 --> 00:08:42,868
I am so glad you asked!

226
00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:44,868
Get ready for a BAFTA,

227
00:08:44,870 --> 00:08:47,008
because you're gonna be playin' a drunk.

228
00:08:47,010 --> 00:08:49,748
A modern Falstaff! Perfect.

229
00:08:49,750 --> 00:08:51,078
Company!

230
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:56,118
Ah! Oh, villainous, burp, company

231
00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:59,918
hath been, burp, the spoil of my...

232
00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:02,218
Shut the fuck up! I'm the director.

233
00:09:02,220 --> 00:09:05,185
You stumble onstage
and distract security.

234
00:09:05,187 --> 00:09:07,058
You just lost your BAFTA.

235
00:09:10,130 --> 00:09:12,298
Then, while Miracle is chained up,

236
00:09:12,300 --> 00:09:13,868
I'm gonna go into his mind,

237
00:09:13,870 --> 00:09:15,508
figure out where he keeps
the Mother Box and...

238
00:09:15,510 --> 00:09:17,438
- Too late.
- Hey, you're not allowed onstage.

239
00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:21,678
It was just in his dressing room.

240
00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:23,778
So, hold on to your barf bags!

241
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:25,662
We're going to Apokolips.

242
00:09:25,664 --> 00:09:26,978
Ha!

243
00:09:26,980 --> 00:09:29,514
There goes my new year's
resolution to not bite my nails

244
00:09:29,516 --> 00:09:32,048
or jump into any
inter-dimensional portals.

245
00:09:33,390 --> 00:09:34,660
Whee!

246
00:09:39,930 --> 00:09:43,068
So... So, then I said,
"Did anyone call for kelp?"

247
00:09:43,070 --> 00:09:45,671
And then I wrapped Aquaman up in...

248
00:09:45,673 --> 00:09:46,938
Can you guess? Kelp.

249
00:09:46,940 --> 00:09:48,871
You are a hoot!

250
00:09:48,873 --> 00:09:50,265
Isn't she, Darryl?

251
00:09:50,267 --> 00:09:52,168
Charles is one lucky son of a gun.

252
00:09:52,170 --> 00:09:54,308
- Hell yeah, I am.
- Charles! Language!

253
00:09:54,310 --> 00:09:56,908
Well... But, it's kinda
like my catch phrase.

254
00:09:56,910 --> 00:09:58,708
Well, then find a new one!

255
00:09:58,710 --> 00:10:00,348
Yes, ma'am. If you'll excuse me,

256
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:03,218
I'm just gonna go wash my
hands before we chow down.

257
00:10:03,220 --> 00:10:04,239
I love you.

258
00:10:04,241 --> 00:10:07,088
Our son getting married was
a shock in and of itself,

259
00:10:07,090 --> 00:10:11,458
but to find out his fiancee
has actual super powers!

260
00:10:11,460 --> 00:10:14,295
Our grandkids are going
to have superpowers like us!

261
00:10:14,297 --> 00:10:16,098
Oh, you... So you guys have superpowers?

262
00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:18,428
Oh, sure. I can harness
the power of cold,

263
00:10:18,430 --> 00:10:20,438
and this one has the old gift of flight.

264
00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:23,768
So, you can imagine
how disappointed we were

265
00:10:23,770 --> 00:10:26,245
when poor Charles was born... powerless.

266
00:10:26,247 --> 00:10:28,858
- Well, he has his kite.
- Ugh!

267
00:10:28,860 --> 00:10:31,208
Pamela, we want the
best for our grandkids,

268
00:10:31,210 --> 00:10:33,218
and that is them having superpowers,

269
00:10:33,220 --> 00:10:34,721
not pretending to have them.

270
00:10:34,723 --> 00:10:37,164
And you're the answer to our prayers.

271
00:10:37,166 --> 00:10:40,166
Well... Good.

272
00:10:54,870 --> 00:10:58,378
This is gonna be the last
mustache you ever see, Quinn.

273
00:10:58,380 --> 00:11:01,108
Wow, that is a lot of guns.

274
00:11:01,110 --> 00:11:03,248
Or, not enough guns.

275
00:11:03,250 --> 00:11:05,448
Dad, I don't think you
should go up against Harley.

276
00:11:05,450 --> 00:11:07,090
Oh, that old saw.

277
00:11:07,092 --> 00:11:10,004
Because she's a girl,
and boys against girls is unfair.

278
00:11:10,006 --> 00:11:11,065
Um, no.

279
00:11:11,067 --> 00:11:13,488
Because rumor has it she's
going to have an army.

280
00:11:13,490 --> 00:11:15,158
Thousands of people might die.

281
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:16,229
You might die.

282
00:11:16,231 --> 00:11:17,858
Oh, my God. I'm sorry.
I see what you're saying.

283
00:11:17,860 --> 00:11:19,188
Ugh! Thank you!

284
00:11:19,190 --> 00:11:20,798
- I need an army!
- No!

285
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,528
That is 100% not what I was saying...

286
00:11:23,530 --> 00:11:25,741
Oh, frick!

287
00:11:25,743 --> 00:11:27,162
Citizens of Gotham!

288
00:11:27,164 --> 00:11:29,538
You're here today because
you answered the call.

289
00:11:29,540 --> 00:11:31,808
We have an opportunity

290
00:11:31,810 --> 00:11:33,978
to save our beloved Gotham City

291
00:11:33,980 --> 00:11:39,040
and get back our rightful
place in the United States.

292
00:11:40,020 --> 00:11:42,288
That means clean water, fresh food,

293
00:11:42,290 --> 00:11:44,418
and overpriced Internet providers!

294
00:11:46,393 --> 00:11:48,252
But in order to do that,

295
00:11:48,254 --> 00:11:52,535
we have to take down the
scourge that is Harley Quinn.

296
00:11:52,537 --> 00:11:54,898
- Yes, Harley Quinn.
- All right!

297
00:11:54,900 --> 00:11:56,770
Wait, are you cheering for Harley,

298
00:11:56,772 --> 00:11:59,138
or cheering for taking down Harley?

299
00:11:59,140 --> 00:12:00,469
It's gotta be taking down, right?

300
00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:03,531
Okay. Good.

301
00:12:03,533 --> 00:12:06,508
It was just the way I
worded it, it wasn't...

302
00:12:06,510 --> 00:12:08,281
Anyway. I...

303
00:12:08,283 --> 00:12:11,448
For too long we've allowed
villains to run our lives,

304
00:12:11,450 --> 00:12:13,418
and they destroyed our beautiful city.

305
00:12:13,420 --> 00:12:17,118
Well, I will not let that
stand, and neither will you!

306
00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:21,280
Who's with me?

307
00:12:25,060 --> 00:12:27,158
There was a war, vermin.

308
00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:28,628
And I won.

309
00:12:28,630 --> 00:12:32,068
Your future belongs to Darkseid now.

310
00:12:36,643 --> 00:12:38,044
I'm giving your BAFTA to him.

311
00:12:38,046 --> 00:12:41,178
You seek an army, Harley Quinn?

312
00:12:41,180 --> 00:12:44,178
- Um...
- Are you capable of wielding such power?

313
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:47,178
- Yeah, I...
- The power to take away a people's confusion

314
00:12:47,180 --> 00:12:49,518
and replace it with obedience?

315
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:51,588
- Yes, I...
- To liberate a people

316
00:12:51,590 --> 00:12:54,088
and give them one clear purpose.

317
00:12:54,090 --> 00:12:57,030
One goal, to die for your will.

318
00:13:00,460 --> 00:13:02,998
Oh, you're done. Okay yes,
totes to all that stuff.

319
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,371
Let me get that army!

320
00:13:05,373 --> 00:13:07,784
Mr. Great and Powerful Darkseid.

321
00:13:07,786 --> 00:13:10,068
I sense a great pain in you.

322
00:13:10,070 --> 00:13:11,298
Nope, no pain. I'm good.

323
00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:14,001
An anger, born from a want.

324
00:13:14,003 --> 00:13:15,908
A want that was not met.

325
00:13:15,910 --> 00:13:17,258
If we could just move on to the...

326
00:13:17,260 --> 00:13:20,448
Are you trying to fill an empty
hole in your life, Harley Quinn?

327
00:13:20,450 --> 00:13:22,068
What is this guy, my therapist?

328
00:13:22,070 --> 00:13:26,658
There are some holes that not even
an army of Parademons can fill.

329
00:13:26,660 --> 00:13:30,185
Definitely not. All my holes
are filled up to the brim.

330
00:13:30,187 --> 00:13:31,616
Nothing? Really?

331
00:13:31,618 --> 00:13:33,198
Look, I'm just here for that army.

332
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,001
So, you know, what's the haps on that?

333
00:13:35,003 --> 00:13:36,832
The dwarf did not tell you?

334
00:13:36,834 --> 00:13:40,438
Okay, I may have come up here at a
different time to ask for an army.

335
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:41,968
- I didn't mention that?
- No!

336
00:13:41,970 --> 00:13:44,038
And I am a very active listener.

337
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:46,308
You must prove yourself to me.

338
00:13:46,310 --> 00:13:48,678
He was too cowardly to do so.

339
00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:50,448
The task is simple.

340
00:13:50,450 --> 00:13:52,918
Defeat Granny Goodness in combat,

341
00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:55,448
and I will give her scepter to you,

342
00:13:55,450 --> 00:13:58,518
which you will use to
command the Parademons.

343
00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:02,018
So, I just gotta beat up an
old lady and I get an army?

344
00:14:02,020 --> 00:14:04,860
I can do that.

345
00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:09,870
Prepare to die!

346
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:16,438
And this is why I got cold feet.

347
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:19,440
You got this, Quinn.

348
00:14:33,490 --> 00:14:34,490
Ah!

349
00:14:48,540 --> 00:14:52,209
I promised myself
I'd never kill an old person.

350
00:14:52,211 --> 00:14:54,645
I'd let the American
healthcare system do that.

351
00:14:54,647 --> 00:14:56,578
But we need to get Harley's back.

352
00:14:56,580 --> 00:14:59,248
I fear Darkseid clearly
laid out the rules.

353
00:14:59,250 --> 00:15:02,578
If she doesn't do it herself,
she does not get the army.

354
00:15:02,580 --> 00:15:05,718
Don't worry, she's gonna do it herself.

355
00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:07,558
You fools!

356
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:10,688
You thought some little
girl could defeat me?

357
00:15:10,690 --> 00:15:13,091
Now get ready for some cookies, milk,

358
00:15:13,093 --> 00:15:16,628
and a lifetime of torture
in Granny's dungeon.

359
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,190
Prepare to die.

360
00:15:26,380 --> 00:15:29,080
Yes, still got it!

361
00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:35,718
Where am I? Did I do it?

362
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:38,989
Yes, Harley Quinn, you
defeated Granny Goodness.

363
00:15:38,991 --> 00:15:40,062
Yeah, you did.

364
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:43,328
Huzzah! Harley! You are a hero!

365
00:15:43,330 --> 00:15:45,528
It was so smart of her
to play possum like that.

366
00:15:45,530 --> 00:15:49,728
You think she unconsciously
flew through the air, idiots?

367
00:15:49,730 --> 00:15:54,730
Rise, Harley Quinn, commander
of my Parademon army.

368
00:16:06,050 --> 00:16:08,221
Aw! Thanks, D-Train.

369
00:16:08,223 --> 00:16:10,323
Uh, Lord, sir.

370
00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:26,068
All right! Y'all ready
to hand Gordon his ass

371
00:16:26,070 --> 00:16:29,568
and show him once and for all that
Harley Quinn is Gotham's true boss

372
00:16:29,570 --> 00:16:31,308
and the baddest villain of all?

373
00:16:32,780 --> 00:16:34,478
Yes. Yes!

374
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:35,838
Fuck, yes!

375
00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:38,548
I mean, I did this, but also fuck, yes!

376
00:16:38,550 --> 00:16:40,480
Boomtube us home, psycho!

377
00:16:42,790 --> 00:16:46,418
I have to be honest, I am very
scared about this whole thing.

378
00:16:46,420 --> 00:16:50,160
As am I. You can't tell,
but I've clayed myself.

379
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:58,301
Whoa. Babe, you wanna
get frisky right here?

380
00:16:58,303 --> 00:16:59,372
What about the 'rents?

381
00:16:59,374 --> 00:17:01,638
Why do you let your
parents treat you like shit?

382
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:04,138
What am I supposed to
do? They're my parents.

383
00:17:04,140 --> 00:17:06,878
Let's do this again
next week, Ivy, darling.

384
00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:09,208
Don't worry, I already
made a reservation,

385
00:17:09,210 --> 00:17:13,178
so Charles needn't cloud
his mind with simple tasks.

386
00:17:13,180 --> 00:17:14,421
You know what?

387
00:17:14,423 --> 00:17:16,318
- Fuck you guys.
- Beg your pardon?

388
00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:17,748
Yeah, I said, fuck you.

389
00:17:17,750 --> 00:17:19,259
Because first of all, I'm the one

390
00:17:19,261 --> 00:17:21,188
who messed up the
goddamn reservation, okay.

391
00:17:21,190 --> 00:17:23,088
Chuck asked me several
times not to forget,

392
00:17:23,090 --> 00:17:25,427
because for some reason
he cares about you two.

393
00:17:25,429 --> 00:17:27,898
And then, he took the heat for
it because he cares about me,

394
00:17:27,900 --> 00:17:31,298
and for some reason, what
you two think about me.

395
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:34,568
So, yeah! He's a kind,
loving, supportive partner.

396
00:17:34,570 --> 00:17:38,568
And the only miracle here is that
you two ghouls somehow raised him.

397
00:17:38,570 --> 00:17:40,808
And another thing, he's
not lucky to have me,

398
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:42,408
I'm lucky to have him!

399
00:17:42,410 --> 00:17:43,880
So, fuck off!

400
00:17:46,180 --> 00:17:48,278
Hell! Yeah!

401
00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:51,218
See you at the wedding?

402
00:17:51,220 --> 00:17:53,858
Oh, wait. Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on. Is that a Boom Tube?

403
00:17:53,860 --> 00:17:56,758
Uh. Sorry, just got excited and...

404
00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:58,131
No baby, not that.

405
00:17:58,133 --> 00:17:59,928
- That!
- Looks like it's over the Dead Mall.

406
00:17:59,930 --> 00:18:01,995
Hang on, wait, which
way... That's east...

407
00:18:01,997 --> 00:18:03,798
No, it is. Oh, my God!

408
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:04,850
Harley!

409
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:22,288
Dad, you don't have to do this.

410
00:18:22,290 --> 00:18:25,688
If saving Gotham means I have
to gun down another lady clown,

411
00:18:25,690 --> 00:18:26,858
then so be it.

412
00:18:26,860 --> 00:18:28,180
Wait. What do you mean another...

413
00:18:33,930 --> 00:18:39,398
Oh! Probably be best if you turn
around your merry band of meatbags.

414
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:40,968
And why the hell would I do that?

415
00:18:42,820 --> 00:18:46,708
Gordo, I have a flying army from
a hell planet under my control.

416
00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:48,152
Well, I made my decision!

417
00:18:48,154 --> 00:18:50,448
And I never back down from my decisions.

418
00:18:50,450 --> 00:18:52,537
It's a terrible quality that has ruined

419
00:18:52,539 --> 00:18:54,318
most of my personal relationships,

420
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:55,378
so bring it!

421
00:18:55,380 --> 00:18:56,988
It's your funeral, old man.

422
00:18:56,990 --> 00:18:58,758
- Uh-uh, it's yours.
- Don't think so.

423
00:18:58,760 --> 00:18:59,930
Well, I do think so.

424
00:18:59,932 --> 00:19:02,558
Feels like you're
overcompensating for something.

425
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,658
Why is everybody up my ass about that?

426
00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:06,201
Nothing happened!

427
00:19:06,203 --> 00:19:07,728
This is just my Wednesday, bitch.

428
00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:10,401
- Not buying it.
- I don't give a shit!

429
00:19:10,403 --> 00:19:12,164
Fuck, yes!

430
00:19:12,166 --> 00:19:14,498
My God! Gaping sphincter in the sky.

431
00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:16,470
I'm coming!

432
00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:19,390
Tanks, now!

433
00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:27,680
Uh-oh.

434
00:19:46,470 --> 00:19:47,470
Ah!

435
00:19:59,481 --> 00:20:01,878
Harley! What the hell is going on here?

436
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:03,339
Yeah, while you were out gettin' brunch,

437
00:20:03,341 --> 00:20:04,456
I was beating up an old lady

438
00:20:04,458 --> 00:20:06,585
to get a Parademon
army from another galaxy.

439
00:20:06,587 --> 00:20:08,088
You beat up an old lady?

440
00:20:08,090 --> 00:20:09,928
She was super jacked!

441
00:20:09,930 --> 00:20:12,058
And now I'm gonna take
over all of Gotham!

442
00:20:12,060 --> 00:20:15,805
So what, you really just want kill
thousands of people just because?

443
00:20:15,807 --> 00:20:17,928
Because I'm Harley fucking Quinn!

444
00:20:17,930 --> 00:20:19,468
I'm always doing crazy things!

445
00:20:19,470 --> 00:20:21,341
Always being impetuous, you know?

446
00:20:21,343 --> 00:20:22,938
Always kissing people and shit!

447
00:20:22,940 --> 00:20:24,468
This is just my Wednesday.

448
00:20:24,470 --> 00:20:26,018
Yeah. It's actually Thursday.

449
00:20:26,020 --> 00:20:28,908
Anyway, look. You know me, I
mean, I'm ride or die, but...

450
00:20:28,910 --> 00:20:31,910
I mean, is this really
the ride you envisioned?

451
00:20:37,790 --> 00:20:39,018
Uh, not exactly.

452
00:20:39,020 --> 00:20:40,660
What's the endgame?

453
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:45,320
What do you really want?

454
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:51,430
What the hell are you doing?

455
00:20:53,470 --> 00:20:54,470
No!

456
00:21:02,450 --> 00:21:03,848
The city's yours, Gordo.

457
00:21:03,850 --> 00:21:06,408
I know what I want, and it's not this.

458
00:21:06,410 --> 00:21:08,709
We were gonna take
over the fucking world

459
00:21:08,711 --> 00:21:10,118
and you're squandering it all!

460
00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:11,990
Ow!

461
00:21:12,860 --> 00:21:14,029
Are you kidding me?

462
00:21:14,031 --> 00:21:16,145
Oh, I should have known
this was too good to be true.

463
00:21:16,147 --> 00:21:17,788
You got no balls, Quinn.

464
00:21:17,790 --> 00:21:18,890
Fuck this!

465
00:21:20,030 --> 00:21:21,933
See you back at home?

466
00:21:21,935 --> 00:21:23,436
No! I'm out of the crew.

467
00:21:23,438 --> 00:21:25,137
I fucking quit. See you never.

468
00:21:25,139 --> 00:21:26,880
This mean I won?

469
00:21:26,882 --> 00:21:28,523
I won!

470
00:21:28,525 --> 00:21:32,295
This is why you don't back down, people!

471
00:21:35,010 --> 00:21:37,478
Look, I can explain the whole
Game of Thrones Khaleesi thing okay.

472
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:40,178
All... All this has just been
me avoiding something

473
00:21:40,180 --> 00:21:41,918
that I need to talk to you about

474
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:43,918
and if I don't do it now,
it will be too late.

475
00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:46,958
Look, if you really
need to say it, just...

476
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,250
Harley! Cool Parademons.

477
00:21:49,252 --> 00:21:51,128
Hey! Did Ivy tell you what she just did?

478
00:21:51,130 --> 00:21:53,498
How she's the coolest, hottest fiancee

479
00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:56,028
a regular guy with superpowers
like me could ever ask for?

480
00:21:56,030 --> 00:21:58,128
Well, I mean, I wasn't
just gonna sit there

481
00:21:58,130 --> 00:21:59,738
and watch your parents be assholes

482
00:21:59,740 --> 00:22:01,977
to the man that I want to
spend the rest of my life with.

483
00:22:01,979 --> 00:22:03,279
Mmm!

484
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:09,178
Oh, buddy! Those Parademons
are dry humping a taco truck.

485
00:22:09,180 --> 00:22:10,878
I'm gonna go snap a pic for Insta.

486
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,578
Ah, man. I love that idiot.

487
00:22:13,580 --> 00:22:15,548
- What were you gonna tell me, Harls?
- Um...

488
00:22:15,550 --> 00:22:17,548
We need to talk about...

489
00:22:17,550 --> 00:22:20,718
What you wanna do for
your bachelorette party!

490
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:22,392
Really? That's what
you wanted to tell me?

491
00:22:22,394 --> 00:22:23,654
Yeah!

492
00:22:23,656 --> 00:22:26,656
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -