1
00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:05,000
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -

2
00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:24,368
Okay. Marry, fuck, kill.

3
00:00:24,370 --> 00:00:26,408
Kite Man, Mr. Freeze, Joker.

4
00:00:26,410 --> 00:00:29,008
Yeah, I mean, the first
one is my fiancee, so, duh.

5
00:00:29,010 --> 00:00:30,431
And then, the other two are dead,

6
00:00:30,433 --> 00:00:33,578
and one of them is your dead
ex-boyfriend. So, gross and duh.

7
00:00:33,580 --> 00:00:36,888
All right, last one.
Two-Face, Killer Croc, Joker.

8
00:00:36,890 --> 00:00:39,218
Again, he's dead, so let's just...

9
00:00:39,220 --> 00:00:40,788
No. No, it's Joker.

10
00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:42,928
Holy shit. It's...

11
00:00:42,930 --> 00:00:45,728
A totally unremarkable
looking white guy.

12
00:00:45,730 --> 00:00:47,798
Ive, I am telling you that is him,

13
00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:50,398
just without his puke green
hair and bleached white skin.

14
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,628
And maniacal laugh,
blood lust in his eyes,

15
00:00:52,630 --> 00:00:54,129
and fire engine red lips?

16
00:00:54,130 --> 00:00:55,708
No, that was lipstick.
He always stole mine.

17
00:00:55,710 --> 00:00:56,938
Ugh! He was so annoying.

18
00:00:56,940 --> 00:00:58,262
Like, hello, you can murder a family,

19
00:00:58,264 --> 00:00:59,908
but you're afraid to buy
makeup on your own?

20
00:00:59,910 --> 00:01:01,839
Harls, this guy does not look like

21
00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:04,208
he was flattened by a thousand
tons of steel and concrete

22
00:01:04,210 --> 00:01:06,319
when a tower of his own
image crushed him to death,

23
00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:07,849
which is what happened to Joker, so...

24
00:01:07,850 --> 00:01:09,442
Uh, his body was never found.

25
00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:11,918
Haven't you seen those
conspiracy videos on WayneTube?

26
00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:14,059
Yeah, the one with the song
raises some decent points.

27
00:01:14,060 --> 00:01:16,428
But still, it's impossible
that that guy is him.

28
00:01:16,430 --> 00:01:19,428
Joker tried to throw me
in that acid to undo me.

29
00:01:19,430 --> 00:01:20,699
What if that's him undone?

30
00:01:20,700 --> 00:01:22,329
Yeah, I think you're done.

31
00:01:22,330 --> 00:01:23,599
Babe, I'm telling you it's not him.

32
00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:25,650
Oh, fuck, it's him!

33
00:01:33,820 --> 00:01:35,809
- Do you think he saw us?
- Oh, I hope he saw us,

34
00:01:35,810 --> 00:01:37,608
because I want him to see
the face of his murderer.

35
00:01:37,610 --> 00:01:38,942
Hey!

36
00:01:38,944 --> 00:01:41,686
Ivy, no! I just wanna leave
without causing a scene,

37
00:01:41,688 --> 00:01:43,388
for the first time in my life.

38
00:01:45,290 --> 00:01:46,490
Whoa!

39
00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:49,828
I'm so sorry.

40
00:01:49,830 --> 00:01:51,589
Oh. Totally my fault.

41
00:01:51,590 --> 00:01:53,856
It's not often we have
bar patrons on the floor.

42
00:01:53,858 --> 00:01:56,228
I should not have been daydreaming.

43
00:01:56,230 --> 00:01:58,204
Uh, about world domination?

44
00:01:58,206 --> 00:01:59,598
Skintight purple suits?

45
00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:01,599
Heavens, no! Purple clothes?

46
00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:03,568
I wish I was that bold.

47
00:02:03,570 --> 00:02:06,538
No, I was just thinking about my kids.

48
00:02:06,540 --> 00:02:07,619
- Kids?
- Say what?

49
00:02:07,620 --> 00:02:09,978
Well, you know, they're my
girlfriend's kids technically,

50
00:02:09,980 --> 00:02:11,408
but they feel like they're my kids.

51
00:02:11,410 --> 00:02:13,180
Here. Here's a picture.

52
00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:16,618
- Harley.
- You, you know who I am?

53
00:02:16,620 --> 00:02:19,418
No. Just, it says "Harley"
on your bat here.

54
00:02:19,420 --> 00:02:21,142
- You almost left it.
- Thanks.

55
00:02:21,144 --> 00:02:24,035
Well, if you need
extra napkins or water,

56
00:02:24,037 --> 00:02:26,137
you know where to find me. Bye.

57
00:02:26,139 --> 00:02:27,898
Joker always told me he hated kids.

58
00:02:27,900 --> 00:02:29,358
You bought that whole act?

59
00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:30,768
He is fucking with you.

60
00:02:30,770 --> 00:02:31,969
I don't know what his game is,

61
00:02:31,970 --> 00:02:33,468
but seriously, we should just kill him.

62
00:02:33,470 --> 00:02:35,838
_

63
00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:37,638
Yeah, I'm killing him.

64
00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:39,378
We can't kill a normie.

65
00:02:39,380 --> 00:02:41,539
Maybe that acid changed
him, you know, for reals.

66
00:02:41,540 --> 00:02:42,809
Last time you thought he changed,

67
00:02:42,810 --> 00:02:44,469
he pushed you out of a helicopter.

68
00:02:44,470 --> 00:02:47,018
This is totally different.
We are not in a helicopter.

69
00:02:47,020 --> 00:02:48,579
- People can't change.
- I did.

70
00:02:48,580 --> 00:02:50,165
Remember when I used
to be a psychologist,

71
00:02:50,167 --> 00:02:51,525
and I wore my hair up all the time?

72
00:02:51,527 --> 00:02:53,958
Even then I could tell deep
down you were a crazy bitch.

73
00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:55,018
Aw. Thanks.

74
00:02:55,020 --> 00:02:57,328
You are who you are at your core,

75
00:02:57,330 --> 00:02:59,329
now and forever.

76
00:02:59,330 --> 00:03:01,920
You're wrong, and I can prove it.

77
00:03:04,249 --> 00:03:06,571
_

78
00:03:06,573 --> 00:03:08,573
_

79
00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:13,638
Ninety-nine, one hundred. Damn it.

80
00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:15,008
Better luck next time, boy-o.

81
00:03:15,010 --> 00:03:16,508
Two out of three, squats.

82
00:03:16,510 --> 00:03:17,648
You're on!

83
00:03:24,050 --> 00:03:25,958
Well, you must be Dr. Quinzel.

84
00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:27,318
Pleasure to meet you. I'm...

85
00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:29,018
Harvey Dent, of course.

86
00:03:29,020 --> 00:03:31,230
You're only the best district
attorney Gotham's ever had.

87
00:03:31,232 --> 00:03:33,598
And let's keep it that
way at the polls tomorrow.

88
00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:34,732
Can I count on your vote?

89
00:03:34,734 --> 00:03:36,823
It's important young
people like you vote.

90
00:03:36,825 --> 00:03:39,168
Well, I may be young,
but you did call me in

91
00:03:39,170 --> 00:03:40,579
to be the Joker's psychologist

92
00:03:40,580 --> 00:03:43,339
because, you know, I studied his
pathology more than anyone else.

93
00:03:43,340 --> 00:03:44,938
Wrote my entire thesis paper on him,

94
00:03:44,940 --> 00:03:47,279
but, hey, you know that.

95
00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:49,948
We never read your paper. Hell,
we didn't even know you wrote one.

96
00:03:49,950 --> 00:03:51,609
Oh, then... Then why did you hire me?

97
00:03:51,610 --> 00:03:53,419
Because you're cheap and
you've got a pulse, skirt.

98
00:03:53,420 --> 00:03:55,018
Joker's chewed up every
other shrink in Gotham.

99
00:03:55,020 --> 00:03:57,618
Which is why this
election is so important.

100
00:03:57,620 --> 00:03:59,688
Take an extra for your
mom. She'll love it.

101
00:03:59,690 --> 00:04:01,688
I believe in you.

102
00:04:01,690 --> 00:04:04,285
I won't let you down, sir.
I'm sure in no time, I can...

103
00:04:04,287 --> 00:04:05,889
We have no time.

104
00:04:05,890 --> 00:04:08,128
That psychopath's planted a
bomb somewhere in the city.

105
00:04:08,130 --> 00:04:10,528
We need you to find out
where before it goes kaboom!

106
00:04:10,530 --> 00:04:12,768
We've only got 24 hours
before the polls close.

107
00:04:12,770 --> 00:04:14,159
Or the bomb goes off.

108
00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:15,939
What did I say, the polls?
No, the bomb. The bomb.

109
00:04:15,940 --> 00:04:17,569
Yes. No, I'm talking about the bomb.

110
00:04:17,570 --> 00:04:18,739
Of course, I'm thinking about the bomb.

111
00:04:18,740 --> 00:04:19,820
Damn it!

112
00:04:32,820 --> 00:04:34,418
What happened? Why does it look like

113
00:04:34,420 --> 00:04:36,418
a salad bar exploded?

114
00:04:36,420 --> 00:04:40,420
Sir, the cafeteria accidentally
ordered living lettuce, sir.

115
00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:05,518
Mr. Dent, you can't burn inmates.

116
00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:07,352
Not yet. But prop 17

117
00:05:07,354 --> 00:05:09,958
gives an exciting, new
definition to prisoners' rights.

118
00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:10,992
What are you gawking at?

119
00:05:10,994 --> 00:05:12,928
Get to the Joker and find that bomb.

120
00:05:12,930 --> 00:05:14,858
Remember, tomorrow at the polls,

121
00:05:14,860 --> 00:05:16,560
yes on 17!

122
00:05:31,510 --> 00:05:32,678
Riddle me this.

123
00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:34,078
Who's in over her head

124
00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:36,478
and should've majored in communication?

125
00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,588
Joke's on you. That was my minor.

126
00:05:38,590 --> 00:05:39,960
Joke was on me.

127
00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:43,588
I'm so sorry.

128
00:05:43,590 --> 00:05:45,158
They shouldn't have done that.

129
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:48,910
Fuck off, narc.

130
00:05:53,934 --> 00:05:55,034
You ready, sugar?

131
00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:16,758
Hello, puddin'.

132
00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:18,029
- Puddin'?
- Oh, shit.

133
00:06:18,030 --> 00:06:19,658
I thought you brought my lunch.

134
00:06:19,660 --> 00:06:21,599
Who's hungry for pudding?

135
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,028
Joker, you're gonna
eat the dessert first?

136
00:06:24,030 --> 00:06:26,570
Ah ha! You know it, pal.

137
00:06:30,010 --> 00:06:32,467
Word to the wise, Dr. Quinzel,

138
00:06:32,469 --> 00:06:35,108
never end up in maximum security,

139
00:06:35,110 --> 00:06:36,948
no matter how fun the crime is.

140
00:06:36,950 --> 00:06:38,848
Eating alone is a real drag.

141
00:06:38,850 --> 00:06:40,378
So, you know who I am?

142
00:06:40,380 --> 00:06:44,118
I read your thesis.
I thought it was pretty good.

143
00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:45,218
Oh.

144
00:06:45,220 --> 00:06:46,858
For fan fic.

145
00:06:46,860 --> 00:06:48,889
Darling, if you want
to get the story right,

146
00:06:48,890 --> 00:06:50,429
you have to go straight to the source.

147
00:06:50,430 --> 00:06:51,582
That's why I'm here.

148
00:06:51,584 --> 00:06:53,244
An opportunity to set
the record straight.

149
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:56,068
Well, that's very good.

150
00:06:56,070 --> 00:06:58,769
But you're here because you
want me to dish about the bomb,

151
00:06:58,770 --> 00:07:02,868
which is gonna go kaboom
in two freckles past a hair.

152
00:07:02,870 --> 00:07:04,208
Ooh, that's soon.

153
00:07:04,210 --> 00:07:05,668
Okay, you caught me.

154
00:07:05,670 --> 00:07:07,390
So, if you're not gonna tell me where,

155
00:07:07,392 --> 00:07:09,013
maybe you'd like to tell me why?

156
00:07:09,015 --> 00:07:11,048
What? Look at this!

157
00:07:11,050 --> 00:07:13,078
It's, like, five peas.

158
00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:15,648
Seriously, what kind of nutrients

159
00:07:15,650 --> 00:07:17,749
am I going to get from five peas?

160
00:07:17,750 --> 00:07:19,419
How about we take a
step back and talk about

161
00:07:19,420 --> 00:07:20,899
your obsession with the bat?

162
00:07:20,900 --> 00:07:23,420
What's that? I'm sorry. The
speakers are getting a little fuzzy.

163
00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:27,628
Where's Dr. Quinn's...

164
00:07:27,630 --> 00:07:31,198
Peas... Puddin'?

165
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,438
Let me in the cell. I
need to get on his level.

166
00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:35,098
That's tough to do with bars between us.

167
00:07:35,100 --> 00:07:37,968
- You mean the glass?
- Whatever, Cheryl. Just do it.

168
00:07:37,970 --> 00:07:40,170
Your funeral, sug.

169
00:07:44,019 --> 00:07:45,919
There, the speakers
aren't a problem anymore.

170
00:07:47,020 --> 00:07:49,048
It's just you and me,

171
00:07:49,050 --> 00:07:51,150
with nothing in between us.

172
00:07:53,590 --> 00:07:54,888
What? Hey!

173
00:07:54,890 --> 00:07:57,358
What do we have here? Let me see.

174
00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:00,098
Mighty fine penmanship. Hmm.

175
00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:02,628
Blah, blah, blah. "Insane".

176
00:08:02,630 --> 00:08:04,968
Oh, yes. Blah, blah, blah. "Egomaniac".

177
00:08:04,970 --> 00:08:06,838
Blah, blah. "Cute".

178
00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:09,808
- I would never write that.
- But I know you thought it.

179
00:08:11,070 --> 00:08:12,908
People are afraid of you, but I'm not.

180
00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:15,808
Somewhere inside that big
clown is a human being.

181
00:08:15,810 --> 00:08:18,078
- One that can be helped.
- You're so right.

182
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,348
People are scared of me.

183
00:08:21,820 --> 00:08:23,650
And for good reason.

184
00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:26,618
No.

185
00:08:26,620 --> 00:08:28,789
Just to be clear about the bomb,

186
00:08:28,790 --> 00:08:31,188
I'm not telling you shit.

187
00:08:31,190 --> 00:08:33,660
Do not touch me.

188
00:08:34,700 --> 00:08:35,958
Hey!

189
00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:37,068
Ah!

190
00:08:37,070 --> 00:08:39,838
You've got spunk.

191
00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:42,268
I hate spunk.

192
00:08:45,070 --> 00:08:48,378
An athlete and a scholar.

193
00:08:48,380 --> 00:08:50,778
You're far too good for this dump.

194
00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:55,120
Ah, well, I win.

195
00:08:59,390 --> 00:09:02,888
Come back anytime, Harley.

196
00:09:10,100 --> 00:09:13,138
Any idea how stupid that was?

197
00:09:13,140 --> 00:09:14,692
It's a miracle he didn't kill you.

198
00:09:14,694 --> 00:09:16,838
But he didn't. Joker
wasn't trying to kill me,

199
00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:18,108
he was testing me.

200
00:09:18,110 --> 00:09:19,938
He's screwing with you, Quinzel.

201
00:09:19,940 --> 00:09:21,308
Oh, what's the u...

202
00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:23,178
You're done. Turn in your badge and gun.

203
00:09:23,180 --> 00:09:24,948
I don't have those things.

204
00:09:24,950 --> 00:09:28,018
Ah, right. Well, turn in
your clipboard and glasses.

205
00:09:28,020 --> 00:09:30,088
I know I can get through to him.

206
00:09:30,090 --> 00:09:31,341
Give me one more chance.

207
00:09:31,343 --> 00:09:33,088
- Well, what other option do we have?
- Me.

208
00:09:33,090 --> 00:09:35,229
Jesus! Was he here the whole time?

209
00:09:35,231 --> 00:09:36,571
I'll make Joker talk.

210
00:09:43,143 --> 00:09:44,534
Where's the bomb?

211
00:09:44,536 --> 00:09:46,098
Why don't you ask Robin?

212
00:09:46,100 --> 00:09:49,168
Oh, wait. Jason Todd
is dead, that's right,

213
00:09:49,170 --> 00:09:52,408
because I killed him.

214
00:09:52,410 --> 00:09:54,438
Too soon?

215
00:10:08,390 --> 00:10:10,552
- Licorice?
- Oh, I could go for a red snack.

216
00:10:10,554 --> 00:10:12,224
Oh, last one.

217
00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,798
Leaving so soon, Batsy?

218
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:22,438
We were just revving up.

219
00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:24,162
He's a lost cause.

220
00:10:24,164 --> 00:10:26,478
We need to evacuate the city
while there's still time.

221
00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:28,508
No, we can't panic the voters.

222
00:10:28,510 --> 00:10:30,278
Uh, the citizens.

223
00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:33,280
You still think you can get to him?

224
00:10:37,950 --> 00:10:40,958
You bet I can. Just give me a minute.

225
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,343
So, got any plans for tonight, Batman?

226
00:10:43,345 --> 00:10:45,567
Uh, stop Joker from blowing up Gotham.

227
00:10:45,569 --> 00:10:47,369
Yeah, of course.

228
00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:49,900
I meant, like, after that.

229
00:10:51,070 --> 00:10:52,329
I want to ask you about Joker.

230
00:10:52,330 --> 00:10:53,582
Just kill him already.

231
00:10:53,584 --> 00:10:54,838
But then the bomb will go off.

232
00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:56,237
People aren't worth saving.

233
00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:58,617
Kill joker, kill people, kill yourself.

234
00:10:58,619 --> 00:11:01,038
Your file says you were in
group therapy with Joker,

235
00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:03,208
but all the notes are missing.
What happened?

236
00:11:03,210 --> 00:11:05,718
Tough to take notes when
you're getting murdered.

237
00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:07,219
Joker killed the psychologist?

238
00:11:07,220 --> 00:11:09,918
Yeah, he really didn't want
to talk about his family.

239
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:12,019
- Hmm.
- And you know what? I don't wanna talk to you,

240
00:11:12,020 --> 00:11:14,220
- so get out!
- Thanks for the help.

241
00:11:26,039 --> 00:11:28,329
Back for more, Harley?

242
00:11:29,517 --> 00:11:31,338
It's Dr. Quinzel.

243
00:11:31,340 --> 00:11:33,878
Well, Doc, you've got guts.

244
00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:37,008
I'll give you that.
But that's all you get.

245
00:11:37,010 --> 00:11:38,918
I don't wanna hear about the bomb.

246
00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:41,119
I wanna hear about what makes you tick.

247
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:42,988
That's good.

248
00:11:42,990 --> 00:11:44,319
And it's almost a joke.

249
00:11:44,321 --> 00:11:45,833
Tell me about growing up.

250
00:11:45,835 --> 00:11:49,188
Oh, look who passed
their freshman psychology class.

251
00:11:49,190 --> 00:11:51,458
We're in an insane asylum.

252
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:54,099
Not a single person in here
came from a happy home.

253
00:11:54,100 --> 00:11:57,329
People around here seem to
think you have real daddy issues.

254
00:11:57,330 --> 00:11:59,898
Ha! Who told you that?

255
00:11:59,900 --> 00:12:01,022
Was it Penguin?

256
00:12:01,024 --> 00:12:04,538
That mutant orphan's the
one with daddy issues.

257
00:12:04,540 --> 00:12:07,038
Well, I can see this is
just too painful for you.

258
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:08,878
- We can stop for today.
- Painful?

259
00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:11,208
You think you can hurt me, sweetheart?

260
00:12:11,210 --> 00:12:13,478
I've been hurt by the best.

261
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:15,988
Oh, please. Everyone's
scarred by their childhood.

262
00:12:15,990 --> 00:12:17,120
Not worse than me!

263
00:12:19,890 --> 00:12:24,328
Fine. You wanna know how I
got these emotional scars?

264
00:12:24,330 --> 00:12:26,430
I'm listening.

265
00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:31,428
All right.

266
00:12:31,430 --> 00:12:34,839
I'll admit my parents
weren't too fond of me.

267
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,008
What makes you think that?

268
00:12:36,010 --> 00:12:38,119
Let me see. Quote.

269
00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:40,978
"Son, we're not fond of you".

270
00:12:40,980 --> 00:12:43,978
My parents were wealthy,
but they never gave me much,

271
00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:45,978
especially not their attention.

272
00:12:45,980 --> 00:12:48,378
So, you must have spent
a lot of time alone.

273
00:12:48,380 --> 00:12:50,218
Well, I had Mr. Ferris.

274
00:12:50,220 --> 00:12:51,618
Was he a role model for you?

275
00:12:51,620 --> 00:12:54,388
He was a ferret, a beautiful beast.

276
00:12:54,390 --> 00:12:58,628
With gorgeous ringed fur,
Mr. Ferris, the ferret.

277
00:12:58,630 --> 00:13:00,998
Being an only neglected child,

278
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,458
the pet was a brother to me.

279
00:13:02,460 --> 00:13:04,298
We were inseparable.

280
00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:07,168
Until one night, while Mummy was away,

281
00:13:07,170 --> 00:13:09,968
I made the mistake of wandering
into my father's study.

282
00:13:09,970 --> 00:13:14,078
There I found dear, old
Dad with our maid, naked.

283
00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:17,448
He roared at me, so I rushed
out, went straight to bed.

284
00:13:17,450 --> 00:13:19,278
I hadn't even had supper.

285
00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,918
After all, the maid was busy.

286
00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:24,948
The next morning, I found
Ferris's cage empty,

287
00:13:24,950 --> 00:13:27,988
and Daddy above it with the
widest smile I'd ever seen.

288
00:13:27,990 --> 00:13:29,528
That day, my father took away

289
00:13:29,530 --> 00:13:31,558
the one thing I'd ever loved.

290
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,459
Then he beat the shit out of me.

291
00:13:33,460 --> 00:13:35,976
I just remember him standing
over me, punching and laughing,

292
00:13:35,978 --> 00:13:37,968
laughing and punching, and punching.

293
00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:49,708
Personally, I never
got what was so funny.

294
00:13:49,710 --> 00:13:52,278
But that's the thing about comedy.

295
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:54,578
Not everyone gets the joke.

296
00:13:54,580 --> 00:13:56,618
You're not defined by your father.

297
00:13:56,620 --> 00:13:59,018
You don't have to destroy the world.

298
00:13:59,020 --> 00:14:01,218
I can help you if you help me.

299
00:14:01,220 --> 00:14:04,288
All right. I'll 'fess up about the bomb.

300
00:14:04,290 --> 00:14:05,998
- But promise me one thing.
- Of course.

301
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,458
I want to eat a normal
meal like a normal person

302
00:14:08,460 --> 00:14:12,639
in a normal insane asylum
at the cafeteria and all.

303
00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:14,868
Done. Next week, you can
eat whatever you want.

304
00:14:14,870 --> 00:14:17,538
No, no. No, it has to be tonight,

305
00:14:17,540 --> 00:14:21,308
because I don't trust those
assholes to keep your word.

306
00:14:21,310 --> 00:14:23,178
- Licorice, Batman?
- You said you were out.

307
00:14:23,180 --> 00:14:24,578
- I found more.
- Shut it.

308
00:14:24,580 --> 00:14:26,049
Tell me where the bomb is,

309
00:14:26,050 --> 00:14:27,470
and you'll have that meal tonight.

310
00:14:29,650 --> 00:14:30,950
I promise.

311
00:14:34,020 --> 00:14:36,558
I believe you.

312
00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:40,058
The bomb is in the
heart of Little Italy.

313
00:14:40,060 --> 00:14:41,668
Holy hell! She did it!

314
00:14:41,670 --> 00:14:43,279
Yeah, that's beginners' luck.

315
00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:45,598
That's the last time I'll
underestimate a skirt with a PhD.

316
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:46,791
I'm gonna win the election.

317
00:14:46,793 --> 00:14:49,298
Men in prison, get everyone
over to Little Italy.

318
00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:50,943
- Pronto!
- That's Italian.

319
00:14:50,945 --> 00:14:53,708
We can carpool, right?
Global warming, it's an issue.

320
00:14:53,710 --> 00:14:55,538
I, of course, can't go.

321
00:14:55,540 --> 00:14:58,078
Me around an armed bomb? Bad photo op.

322
00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:00,450
But do anything it
takes to stop that bomb.

323
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:04,048
The voters thank you.

324
00:15:04,050 --> 00:15:05,248
You still alive?

325
00:15:05,250 --> 00:15:06,618
Guess I owe Riddler a 20.

326
00:15:06,620 --> 00:15:08,460
Joker 'fessed up, thanks to you.

327
00:15:08,462 --> 00:15:10,558
- I didn't do anything.
- You told me about his family.

328
00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:12,774
That was nothing. And I wouldn't
have even told you about it

329
00:15:12,776 --> 00:15:14,358
if I knew you were gonna
be so smug about it.

330
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:16,028
Like it or not, you helped me.

331
00:15:16,030 --> 00:15:18,368
Everyone needs a friend.

332
00:15:18,370 --> 00:15:21,368
And since you want humans wiped
from the face of the earth...

333
00:15:21,370 --> 00:15:23,668
Right. So, you cut a plant for me?

334
00:15:23,670 --> 00:15:27,170
- I could kill you with this.
- Yeah, you could.

335
00:15:44,730 --> 00:15:46,379
You know, if I dip my shoulder,

336
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:48,329
I could just squeeze right
into that little space up front.

337
00:15:48,330 --> 00:15:51,130
- No.
- No? Yeah, dumb idea. Dumb.

338
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:09,749
Yoo-hoo!

339
00:16:09,750 --> 00:16:12,290
Hey, I think that child lock is on.

340
00:16:13,050 --> 00:16:15,218
Yeah, we're here.

341
00:16:15,220 --> 00:16:17,828
The heart of Little
Italy, you son of a bitch.

342
00:16:17,830 --> 00:16:20,358
There's nothing here,
Jim. There's no bomb.

343
00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:21,379
Damn it.

344
00:16:21,380 --> 00:16:23,768
As long as we're here, you
want to try the fresh mozz,

345
00:16:23,770 --> 00:16:26,470
or some brajoot, as they say?

346
00:16:29,470 --> 00:16:32,238
Hey, so I was thinking,
if you're interested,

347
00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:35,026
maybe I'll turn that thesis
of mine into a full novel.

348
00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:37,408
There it is.

349
00:16:37,410 --> 00:16:39,878
You play naive, but
you're better than that.

350
00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:42,288
You never cared about the bomb, did you?

351
00:16:42,290 --> 00:16:43,848
You just wanted your story.

352
00:16:43,850 --> 00:16:45,788
Mmm, mmm, mmm.

353
00:16:45,790 --> 00:16:48,288
You're naughty, Dr. Quinzel.

354
00:16:48,290 --> 00:16:51,788
- What happened to Harley?
- Well, Harley, I'm game.

355
00:16:51,790 --> 00:16:54,458
That is, if I can call
this our first date.

356
00:16:56,170 --> 00:16:58,598
- What's with the Italian?
- Oh, that's Luigi.

357
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:01,598
His food's the reason I
keep coming back to Arkham.

358
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:04,069
I mean, him and Batman.

359
00:17:04,070 --> 00:17:07,408
See, Luigi's got a bit of
a nickname around here.

360
00:17:07,410 --> 00:17:10,148
Little Italy.

361
00:17:10,150 --> 00:17:11,778
It feels no good.

362
00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:14,678
The flavor, really, just
explodes in your mouth.

363
00:17:17,701 --> 00:17:19,262
Paint my toenails.

364
00:17:19,264 --> 00:17:20,385
You're not gonna believe this.

365
00:17:20,387 --> 00:17:22,788
The bomb was in a guy
named Little Italy.

366
00:17:22,790 --> 00:17:24,228
- Luigi.
- Wait.

367
00:17:24,230 --> 00:17:26,258
Where are you going, Dark Knight?

368
00:17:27,830 --> 00:17:30,428
Why don't we dine al fresco?

369
00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,240
Where is he?

370
00:17:40,552 --> 00:17:42,243
You lying asshole!

371
00:17:42,245 --> 00:17:44,745
I told everyone exactly
where the bomb was,

372
00:17:44,747 --> 00:17:47,578
but you were the only
one who got the joke.

373
00:17:47,580 --> 00:17:48,878
Oh, my God! You're insane.

374
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:51,918
Please, I gave you what
you wanted, a story.

375
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:53,481
The story.

376
00:17:53,483 --> 00:17:56,134
Clown price of crime
kidnaps hotshot psychologist.

377
00:17:56,136 --> 00:17:58,057
Her tell-all sells millions.

378
00:17:58,059 --> 00:18:01,190
Baby, I'm about to make you a star.

379
00:18:01,192 --> 00:18:02,734
Not if they kill us first.

380
00:18:02,736 --> 00:18:05,198
They're not going to kill me,
because they won't kill you.

381
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:08,438
Honestly, you're safer here
than back at that looney bin.

382
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:11,139
- Take the shot.
- Sir, I can't without hitting her.

383
00:18:11,140 --> 00:18:13,508
Who gives a fuck? I can't
win this goddamn election

384
00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:16,080
if Joker escapes on my watch!

385
00:18:28,260 --> 00:18:30,488
- Ivy, you saved me!
- Say what?

386
00:18:30,490 --> 00:18:33,858
I always knew you had a special
place in your heart for the Joker.

387
00:18:33,860 --> 00:18:36,628
Not you, asshole.

388
00:18:36,630 --> 00:18:39,468
Not bad for a first date, eh, puddin'?

389
00:18:39,470 --> 00:18:41,568
Are, are you okay, or whatever?

390
00:18:41,570 --> 00:18:42,868
Why did you save me?

391
00:18:42,870 --> 00:18:44,808
No one's ever given me a gift before,

392
00:18:44,810 --> 00:18:48,440
I mean, not to mention a
plant. So, that was nice.

393
00:18:55,550 --> 00:18:57,650
Kill them all!

394
00:19:04,790 --> 00:19:07,258
Uh... I surrender.

395
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:14,639
Ow!

396
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:17,909
So, Doc, I was thinking
of seeing a new therapist,

397
00:19:17,910 --> 00:19:19,309
if you could recommend, uh...

398
00:19:19,310 --> 00:19:20,610
- I'd love to.
- Cool.

399
00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:26,978
Dr. Quinzel, thank God you're all right.

400
00:19:26,980 --> 00:19:28,618
Phew!

401
00:19:28,620 --> 00:19:29,988
Crazy night, huh?

402
00:19:29,990 --> 00:19:31,311
But it's a happy ending.

403
00:19:31,313 --> 00:19:33,435
Joker's captured, I'll win re-election,

404
00:19:33,437 --> 00:19:35,928
and you've earned yourself
a promotion. Congrats.

405
00:19:35,930 --> 00:19:37,388
We good?

406
00:19:37,390 --> 00:19:40,240
Fuck off, Two-Face.

407
00:19:44,700 --> 00:19:47,267
Bullshit. You came up with Two-Face?

408
00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:49,008
And not a single royalty.

409
00:19:49,010 --> 00:19:51,525
- Ugh.
- Ive, you said humanity wasn't worth saving,

410
00:19:51,527 --> 00:19:53,479
but then you saved me, a human.

411
00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:56,169
Even though it meant another
year in Arkham. I mean, thusly...

412
00:19:56,171 --> 00:19:57,909
- Don't say thusly.
- I changed you,

413
00:19:57,910 --> 00:20:00,418
which proves your core can change.

414
00:20:00,420 --> 00:20:01,818
Harley wins again.

415
00:20:01,820 --> 00:20:02,888
God, you're so smug.

416
00:20:02,890 --> 00:20:04,848
Harley, you didn't change me.

417
00:20:04,850 --> 00:20:06,489
You helped me, sure, you know,

418
00:20:06,490 --> 00:20:07,919
but I didn't always hate people.

419
00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:09,359
It wasn't until Mr. Ferris died.

420
00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:11,258
Mr. Ferris? You mean Joker's Ferris?

421
00:20:11,260 --> 00:20:12,629
No, I mean Mr. Ferris, the ficus.

422
00:20:12,630 --> 00:20:14,429
- He was my first plant.
- I don't understand.

423
00:20:14,430 --> 00:20:16,893
Harls, that was my story.
I told it in group therapy.

424
00:20:16,895 --> 00:20:18,216
Joker probably just stole it

425
00:20:18,218 --> 00:20:19,839
and weirdly changed it into a ferret.

426
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:23,508
What? I spent so much money on
ferret paraphernalia over the years.

427
00:20:23,510 --> 00:20:25,900
His custom Christmas
stocking was a ferret.

428
00:20:25,902 --> 00:20:29,449
Well, as always, Joker lied,
surprising no one but you.

429
00:20:29,450 --> 00:20:30,749
The first time my father hit me,

430
00:20:30,750 --> 00:20:33,348
that's when I gave up on humans.

431
00:20:33,350 --> 00:20:34,778
Until I met you.

432
00:20:34,780 --> 00:20:37,018
You never told me, Ive. I'm sorry.

433
00:20:37,020 --> 00:20:38,988
Yeah, it was a long time ago.

434
00:20:38,990 --> 00:20:40,620
So, what are we gonna do about him?

435
00:20:42,590 --> 00:20:44,360
We call in a tie-breaker.

436
00:20:46,030 --> 00:20:50,030
- Oh, nice unit.
- Uh, can I help you?

437
00:20:52,630 --> 00:20:55,798
Hmm. Sugar, sugar, sugar.

438
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:58,078
Nope. Oh, why not? I'll splurge.

439
00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:00,838
Oh, boy. This is way too stylish.

440
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:03,408
Okay. There. Ah, that's normal.

441
00:21:03,410 --> 00:21:05,448
Where's my new, old lucky sock?

442
00:21:05,450 --> 00:21:06,778
There you are, buddy.

443
00:21:06,780 --> 00:21:09,488
Ho!

444
00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:12,460
What just happened?

445
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:15,058
Ugh!

446
00:21:15,060 --> 00:21:16,483
He really loves those kids.

447
00:21:16,485 --> 00:21:19,077
- That is disgusting.
- Ugh! I hated seeing it.

448
00:21:19,079 --> 00:21:20,442
And case closed.

449
00:21:20,444 --> 00:21:23,568
He's got zero memories from
before the tower collapsed.

450
00:21:23,570 --> 00:21:24,929
- You're welcome.
- All right, all right.

451
00:21:24,930 --> 00:21:26,569
I was wrong. The old Joker is gone.

452
00:21:26,570 --> 00:21:28,420
I guess the acid really did change him.

453
00:21:28,422 --> 00:21:30,468
Which is why I just smoke joints.

454
00:21:30,470 --> 00:21:32,938
Fuck you. That was a good one.

455
00:21:32,940 --> 00:21:34,040
Papa needs his nap.

456
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:37,450
I guess this is goodbye.

457
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:49,988
- Oh, jeez.
- Shoot.

458
00:21:49,990 --> 00:21:52,128
Okay, enough.

459
00:21:52,130 --> 00:21:54,058
Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy.

460
00:21:54,060 --> 00:21:56,728
Good news, I'm the DA again.

461
00:21:56,730 --> 00:21:59,940
Bad news, you're under arrest.

462
00:22:04,975 --> 00:22:06,475
_

463
00:22:17,890 --> 00:22:18,890
Oh.

464
00:22:26,184 --> 00:22:29,184
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -