1
00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:03,050
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -

2
00:00:24,910 --> 00:00:28,178
For the last time, dude,
get the fuck out of here

3
00:00:28,180 --> 00:00:30,579
with the "Gandalf could
just fly over Middle-earth

4
00:00:30,580 --> 00:00:32,758
and drop the ring into
the fires of Mount Doom

5
00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:35,318
from atop an eagle" bullshit!

6
00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:38,520
I've clearly laid it out
on a LOTR subreddit.

7
00:00:40,160 --> 00:00:41,318
What do you want to watch?

8
00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:42,888
We could watch Harley Quinn.

9
00:00:44,013 --> 00:00:45,797
- No!
- Have you seen the show?

10
00:00:45,799 --> 00:00:47,398
Oh, God, no!

11
00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:50,629
It's just another heavy-handed
female empowerment story,

12
00:00:50,630 --> 00:00:54,468
where the true villain is the
quote-unquote "patriarchy".

13
00:00:54,470 --> 00:00:55,568
So basic.

14
00:00:55,570 --> 00:00:56,629
Yeah, I guess.

15
00:00:56,630 --> 00:01:00,109
I heard Harley takes down
Joker at the end of season one!

16
00:01:00,110 --> 00:01:02,485
I'm sorry, but "cucked"
isn't a great color

17
00:01:02,487 --> 00:01:04,578
on the greatest villain of all time.

18
00:01:04,580 --> 00:01:06,648
That's what this review says.

19
00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:08,678
Hey, you wrote this one.

20
00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:11,248
I can't believe you
want to watch this show.

21
00:01:11,250 --> 00:01:13,057
You know, they just did
a three-episode arc,

22
00:01:13,059 --> 00:01:14,518
where Harley beats Penguin,

23
00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:17,558
Riddler and Mr. Freeze, using
nothing but her Mary Sue powers!

24
00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:19,782
Are you sure you haven't seen the show?

25
00:01:19,784 --> 00:01:22,598
Yeah! 'Cause I'm not a 12-year old girl.

26
00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:24,268
Also, dude,

27
00:01:24,270 --> 00:01:27,338
why would I watch a show
that's set in Gotham City,

28
00:01:27,340 --> 00:01:28,880
but Batman's barely in it?

29
00:01:28,882 --> 00:01:30,568
You watched all five seasons of Gotham.

30
00:01:30,570 --> 00:01:34,478
Because it wasn't a fucking
tsunami of virtue signaling.

31
00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:35,779
Here, smart guy.

32
00:01:35,780 --> 00:01:39,318
Let's see what this week's
episode of Harley Quinn is about.

33
00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:42,149
"Harley Quinn and her
best friend, Poison Ivy..."

34
00:01:42,150 --> 00:01:43,150
See?

35
00:01:43,151 --> 00:01:44,340
"... aren't in this episode,

36
00:01:44,342 --> 00:01:47,359
which focuses on Batman
waking from his coma

37
00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:49,858
and vowing to take back Gotham City".

38
00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:54,028
Fuck! Fine! But if it sucks,
we're watching Family Guy.

39
00:02:07,540 --> 00:02:08,950
Okay.

40
00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:28,998
Alfred!

41
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,298
It's not as bad as it looks.

42
00:02:35,300 --> 00:02:36,609
Why don't you come back to bed?

43
00:02:36,610 --> 00:02:38,738
I've made you a cup of honey tea

44
00:02:38,740 --> 00:02:40,179
and pigs in blankets.

45
00:02:40,180 --> 00:02:43,350
I don't want pigs in a blanket.
I want to fight crime.

46
00:02:44,193 --> 00:02:45,495
I will take that honey tea.

47
00:02:45,497 --> 00:02:48,792
Let's get you back to bed,
Master Bruce. You need your rest.

48
00:02:48,794 --> 00:02:51,186
I've rested enough. Gotham needs Batman.

49
00:02:51,188 --> 00:02:54,458
And it will get him, once he's
made a full physical recovery.

50
00:02:54,460 --> 00:02:55,859
In the time you were in a coma,

51
00:02:55,860 --> 00:02:58,828
312 new television shows came out.

52
00:02:58,830 --> 00:03:01,759
What say we be binge buddies?

53
00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:04,269
- Get me Jim Gordon.
- We needn't bother Mr. Gordon.

54
00:03:04,270 --> 00:03:07,568
He's making sure law and
order are returned to the city.

55
00:03:07,570 --> 00:03:09,239
We are so fucked!

56
00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:11,108
It's a shit show out there!

57
00:03:11,110 --> 00:03:13,138
I saw a dog kill a man on the street,

58
00:03:13,140 --> 00:03:16,349
and then I saw the dog do
other things to that man.

59
00:03:16,350 --> 00:03:18,579
What, have you been in a
coma these last few months?

60
00:03:18,580 --> 00:03:20,618
No. I've been doing stuff.

61
00:03:20,620 --> 00:03:23,889
Ah! You playboys, always doing stuff.

62
00:03:23,890 --> 00:03:25,049
Must be nice.

63
00:03:25,050 --> 00:03:27,688
Now, I brought a list of
things I need you to pay for,

64
00:03:27,690 --> 00:03:29,488
so I can take back the city.

65
00:03:29,490 --> 00:03:33,298
One, police officers. Two,
a codpiece that I can wear

66
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,358
that opens up and shoots a tiny missile.

67
00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:36,628
That doesn't exist.

68
00:03:36,630 --> 00:03:38,669
Not yet.

69
00:03:38,670 --> 00:03:40,499
That's where you and
your fat wallet come in.

70
00:03:40,500 --> 00:03:43,569
Mr. Wayne is not going to
bankroll your imaginary...

71
00:03:43,570 --> 00:03:45,438
Tone it down there, limey.

72
00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:48,334
Now, look, I'm the only
one who can save the city.

73
00:03:48,336 --> 00:03:50,708
At least, since the Bat abandoned us.

74
00:03:50,710 --> 00:03:52,509
Are there no heroes left in Gotham?

75
00:03:52,510 --> 00:03:56,760
Just a couple of amateurs
popping off. Take a look.

76
00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:03,445
This Yankee doodle
dandy in a powdered wig

77
00:04:03,447 --> 00:04:04,828
calls himself "The Macaroni".

78
00:04:04,830 --> 00:04:06,142
As in...

79
00:04:06,144 --> 00:04:07,928
# Stuck a feather in his hat... #

80
00:04:07,930 --> 00:04:09,568
And you know the rest.

81
00:04:09,570 --> 00:04:11,369
That wig's a walking "kick me" sign.

82
00:04:11,370 --> 00:04:14,068
If you think that's bad, check
out the broad in the bat suit.

83
00:04:14,070 --> 00:04:16,968
They're calling her Batgirl.

84
00:04:16,970 --> 00:04:19,616
That's futile. These
lightweights aren't prepared

85
00:04:19,618 --> 00:04:22,848
to go mano y mano with Two-Face or Bane.

86
00:04:22,850 --> 00:04:26,380
Without Batman, people don't
have the balls to fight back.

87
00:04:28,890 --> 00:04:31,441
I got word Quinn took down Freeze.

88
00:04:31,443 --> 00:04:33,564
That clown is a pain in my ass.

89
00:04:33,566 --> 00:04:35,397
Hey, that's not your chair.

90
00:04:35,399 --> 00:04:37,858
We're keeping it open
for honorary purposes.

91
00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:39,359
That's your chair.

92
00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:40,529
Have some respect.

93
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:42,168
Oh, okay.

94
00:04:42,170 --> 00:04:45,038
Does this rule apply to parking spots?

95
00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:47,898
If so, I'll need to move my Volvo.

96
00:04:47,900 --> 00:04:50,008
Look, I've been doing some thinking.

97
00:04:52,610 --> 00:04:54,778
Oh, sorry, I thought
that was a punchline.

98
00:04:54,780 --> 00:04:57,708
Quinn's on a dare. And we're next.

99
00:04:57,710 --> 00:05:00,518
Maybe we should consolidate power

100
00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:04,188
and join forces to protect
ourselves from external threats.

101
00:05:04,190 --> 00:05:06,188
What, you and me? Collab?

102
00:05:06,190 --> 00:05:09,426
Ha! You got your hands
full with Banetown.

103
00:05:09,428 --> 00:05:12,788
Hey, it's the locals. We say "Bane-ton".

104
00:05:12,790 --> 00:05:16,498
The way you remember it,
it rhymes with Plankton.

105
00:05:16,500 --> 00:05:18,399
That's a soft rhyme at best.

106
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,319
Look, I'm not worried about Quinn.

107
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,169
Besides, why would I want to
team up with the likes of you?

108
00:05:23,170 --> 00:05:25,108
You don't even have a big boy chair.

109
00:05:25,110 --> 00:05:27,538
I...

110
00:05:27,540 --> 00:05:29,909
Ah, don't get your little
singlet in a bunch,

111
00:05:29,910 --> 00:05:31,048
I'm just having a goof.

112
00:05:31,050 --> 00:05:33,050
So, are we teaming up?

113
00:05:33,980 --> 00:05:35,980
No.

114
00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:43,200
Up here, dummy.

115
00:05:49,230 --> 00:05:53,498
Hey, guys, today's safety tip.

116
00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:55,798
Instead of going to a
party this Friday night,

117
00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:59,208
sign up for a self-defense
class. Right, buddy?

118
00:05:59,210 --> 00:06:00,779
This is Batgirl, signing off.

119
00:06:02,740 --> 00:06:04,708
Research, Master Wayne?

120
00:06:04,710 --> 00:06:07,879
This sorority girl can't run
around wearing the bat symbol!

121
00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:09,779
It's gonna make people think I'm back!

122
00:06:09,780 --> 00:06:13,058
So your quibble is with the
unsanctioned use of your logo, sir?

123
00:06:13,060 --> 00:06:15,018
A, it's not a logo. It's a symbol,

124
00:06:15,020 --> 00:06:17,029
meant to strike fear into
the hearts of criminals.

125
00:06:17,030 --> 00:06:19,958
And B, if that little girl's
killed while wearing it,

126
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:21,759
the city of Gotham will lose all hope.

127
00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:24,353
Well, there's nothing you can
do about it now, Master Wayne.

128
00:06:24,355 --> 00:06:26,428
You can barely make a
solid bowel movement.

129
00:06:26,430 --> 00:06:28,138
Well, maybe Bruce Wayne can't.

130
00:06:28,140 --> 00:06:30,940
But I know someone who can.

131
00:06:41,550 --> 00:06:43,718
- Who's there?
- Always check your six.

132
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:46,788
Oh, my God! Batman?

133
00:06:46,790 --> 00:06:49,188
I am such a stan!

134
00:06:49,190 --> 00:06:51,588
- Hmm.
- I'm wearing your logo.

135
00:06:51,590 --> 00:06:53,158
It's a symbol.

136
00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:54,828
And one you shouldn't be wearing.

137
00:06:54,830 --> 00:06:56,829
Oh, frick! Is it copyrighted?

138
00:06:56,830 --> 00:06:59,669
I swear to God I'm not
making any money off of it.

139
00:06:59,670 --> 00:07:01,463
It took me years of
training to establish trust

140
00:07:01,465 --> 00:07:02,638
with the people of Gotham.

141
00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:04,768
You're out of your depth. It's not safe.

142
00:07:04,770 --> 00:07:07,640
I appreciate your notes,
but I can handle myself.

143
00:07:10,050 --> 00:07:11,209
You were saying?

144
00:07:11,210 --> 00:07:12,349
Oh, my God, you guys,

145
00:07:12,350 --> 00:07:15,018
I have awesome breaking news.

146
00:07:15,020 --> 00:07:19,345
Batman... Yes, The
Batman is back in Gotham.

147
00:07:19,347 --> 00:07:20,959
Do you still have a million followers?

148
00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:22,259
Actually 1.3 million.

149
00:07:22,260 --> 00:07:24,189
Yeah, but most of them are bots, right?

150
00:07:24,190 --> 00:07:26,690
- Batman is back!
- Hmm.

151
00:07:31,830 --> 00:07:35,208
Ladies and gents, going
to need you to stay calm

152
00:07:35,210 --> 00:07:38,569
while my associates and I
relieve this establishment

153
00:07:38,570 --> 00:07:41,038
of a little coin. You know I like coins.

154
00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:43,178
Fill her up, sweetheart.

155
00:07:43,180 --> 00:07:45,748
No! We're not afraid of you anymore.

156
00:07:45,750 --> 00:07:49,818
What? Of course you are. Look
at the guns and half my face.

157
00:07:52,750 --> 00:07:54,858
Ow! Ow, fuck!

158
00:07:54,860 --> 00:07:58,788
We're not afraid, 'cause Batman's back.

159
00:07:58,790 --> 00:08:00,758
Just leave us alone.

160
00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:02,058
Yeah.

161
00:08:02,060 --> 00:08:04,168
Wait, Batman's really back?

162
00:08:04,170 --> 00:08:07,768
That's right. Rebellion is in the air!

163
00:08:07,770 --> 00:08:09,561
Batman's back, baby!

164
00:08:09,563 --> 00:08:12,514
And with him, hope for
the people of Gotham!

165
00:08:12,516 --> 00:08:15,808
I'm gonna live forever! Batman's back!

166
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:21,278
You can wipe that smug
look off your face.

167
00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:22,918
That's not smug.

168
00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:25,048
- This is smug.
- Devastating.

169
00:08:25,050 --> 00:08:27,288
I never said I was back. Batgirl did.

170
00:08:27,290 --> 00:08:28,843
Yet, you didn't deny it.

171
00:08:28,845 --> 00:08:30,042
And now all of Gotham

172
00:08:30,044 --> 00:08:32,358
is as full of false hope
as an undercooked meat pie!

173
00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:35,898
Enlighten me. Why can't Batman be back?

174
00:08:35,900 --> 00:08:37,698
Still unable to reach your feet?

175
00:08:37,700 --> 00:08:40,268
I've been rocking slip-ons.
My feet run hot.

176
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:42,265
But if you think I'm too
weak to get back out there

177
00:08:42,267 --> 00:08:44,009
and I'll fail, just say it.

178
00:08:44,010 --> 00:08:45,308
You're too weak and will fail.

179
00:08:45,310 --> 00:08:47,038
I am strong and will succeed!

180
00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:48,880
Fine. Prove it. Put these on.

181
00:08:52,180 --> 00:08:55,078
Come on.

182
00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:56,818
Come on!

183
00:08:58,050 --> 00:09:01,059
Oh, that's right, you can't.

184
00:09:01,060 --> 00:09:03,758
Seems to me, the city's
protector should be able to

185
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:06,229
put his sockie-poos on his feetsies.

186
00:09:06,230 --> 00:09:07,340
But what do I know?

187
00:09:07,342 --> 00:09:09,869
I just took you in after
your parents were murdered,

188
00:09:09,870 --> 00:09:12,168
loved you like I would my own son.

189
00:09:12,170 --> 00:09:14,868
Cared for you unconditionally.

190
00:09:14,870 --> 00:09:17,869
Changed your diapers
when you were in a coma.

191
00:09:17,870 --> 00:09:19,619
You don't know what it's
like to be a warrior.

192
00:09:19,620 --> 00:09:21,779
I'll have you know, I was
in Her Majesty's Royal Navy.

193
00:09:21,780 --> 00:09:23,209
What did you guys fight over?

194
00:09:23,210 --> 00:09:25,108
Who get the last scone?

195
00:09:25,110 --> 00:09:26,279
On occasion, we did.

196
00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:28,219
Your ego is writing checks

197
00:09:28,220 --> 00:09:31,820
your broken body cannot cash, sir.

198
00:09:33,641 --> 00:09:35,918
"Your ego's writing checks..."

199
00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:37,030
Connect me to Lucius Fox.

200
00:09:37,705 --> 00:09:39,287
_

201
00:09:40,903 --> 00:09:44,603
Oh! There you are, buddy.
Hey, I got a surprise for you.

202
00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:54,208
Huh?

203
00:09:54,210 --> 00:09:56,248
How does she ride? Ain't she a beaut?

204
00:09:56,250 --> 00:09:59,018
Look, it's adjustable. It can
be any height you want it to be.

205
00:09:59,020 --> 00:10:00,148
It's like magic.

206
00:10:00,150 --> 00:10:02,079
Yeah. I love it.

207
00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:04,488
The lower lumbar support is helpful.

208
00:10:05,580 --> 00:10:09,828
Not a lot of chairs designed for
guys with overdeveloped traps.

209
00:10:09,830 --> 00:10:11,928
You look parched. Let
me get you a drink.

210
00:10:11,930 --> 00:10:14,720
If I remember correctly,
you're a sparkling guy, right?

211
00:10:14,722 --> 00:10:15,898
Aw!

212
00:10:17,370 --> 00:10:19,900
Is that coconut?

213
00:10:22,321 --> 00:10:23,653
Delicious!

214
00:10:23,655 --> 00:10:26,238
Hey, I admit I was being
tough on you yesterday.

215
00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:28,308
But that was just some
good-natured ribbing.

216
00:10:28,310 --> 00:10:30,018
Brotherly love, et cetera.

217
00:10:30,020 --> 00:10:31,408
It felt very personal.

218
00:10:31,410 --> 00:10:32,849
And frankly, mean-spirited.

219
00:10:32,850 --> 00:10:34,519
Well, I've thought about what you said

220
00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:36,819
in regards to us joining forces,

221
00:10:36,820 --> 00:10:38,588
and how we're more likely to survive

222
00:10:38,590 --> 00:10:40,818
if we stick together, and I'm in.

223
00:10:40,820 --> 00:10:44,259
Let's do it, you and me, an
equal partnership. Fifty-fifty.

224
00:10:44,260 --> 00:10:49,268
Hmm. Does this have anything
to do with Batman coming back?

225
00:10:49,270 --> 00:10:51,328
- Can I be honest with you?
- Of course.

226
00:10:51,330 --> 00:10:52,498
It does not.

227
00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:54,498
So what do you say, partner?

228
00:10:54,500 --> 00:10:57,138
As long as it's 50-50.

229
00:10:57,140 --> 00:10:58,968
All right, now let's talk branding.

230
00:10:58,970 --> 00:11:01,379
We need to communicate
that we're working together,

231
00:11:01,380 --> 00:11:02,909
and not to be fucked with.

232
00:11:02,910 --> 00:11:05,050
I got something I wanna
show you. Hey, boys!

233
00:11:07,180 --> 00:11:11,388
But... That's not a...
That's just a picture of you.

234
00:11:11,390 --> 00:11:14,318
I'm not even on the poster...

235
00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:15,989
Where's the 50 and 50?

236
00:11:15,990 --> 00:11:17,629
What are you talking about?
That's you, right there.

237
00:11:17,630 --> 00:11:19,270
No, that is a shadow.

238
00:11:19,272 --> 00:11:21,858
I was born there, but that's not me.

239
00:11:21,860 --> 00:11:23,998
And look, it's only got your name on it!

240
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,511
What are you talking about!

241
00:11:25,513 --> 00:11:29,038
That's you, that's me. We
each got a face. Two-Faces.

242
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:31,339
I think it's too much of a thinker.

243
00:11:31,340 --> 00:11:33,574
Nah, everyone knows
that it's the both of us.

244
00:11:33,576 --> 00:11:35,508
Equal partners, right?

245
00:11:35,510 --> 00:11:40,418
I would be open to a bus
poster, like the twins poster,

246
00:11:40,420 --> 00:11:42,288
where it's you, but it says Bane.

247
00:11:42,290 --> 00:11:44,418
And then it's me, but it says Two-Face.

248
00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:46,388
But I've gotta be on there.

249
00:11:46,390 --> 00:11:49,258
Otherwise, you know, this is...

250
00:11:49,260 --> 00:11:50,888
I'm a name.

251
00:11:50,890 --> 00:11:53,928
Loaded with firepower
and razor-sharp weaponry,

252
00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:55,640
the titanium-dipped body armor

253
00:11:55,642 --> 00:11:58,538
comes fitted with a
strength-compensation dial.

254
00:11:58,540 --> 00:12:01,427
I've also added a customized AI

255
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:03,638
to provide tech support
and system analysis.

256
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,440
Her name is Monica.

257
00:12:07,940 --> 00:12:09,710
You deserve better, Monica.

258
00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:15,549
Oh, hello, Alfred.

259
00:12:15,550 --> 00:12:17,618
Going behind my back
to have Lucius build you

260
00:12:17,620 --> 00:12:20,258
a bat suit to compensate
for your feeble state?

261
00:12:20,260 --> 00:12:23,029
No, I'm just hanging with my buddy,

262
00:12:23,030 --> 00:12:25,558
like friends do. Jealous?

263
00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:27,959
Oh, look! A suit of lies.

264
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:33,038
You cannot fight crime in your
current physical condition.

265
00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:35,970
Yeah. That's what the suit
is for. Tell him, Lucius.

266
00:12:37,270 --> 00:12:39,279
I need to get going.

267
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:41,308
I have Pilates tonight.

268
00:12:41,310 --> 00:12:43,150
- Alfred.
- Lucius.

269
00:12:45,650 --> 00:12:48,948
You're not getting that suit
and you're not to fight crime.

270
00:12:48,950 --> 00:12:50,650
I forbid it.

271
00:12:51,950 --> 00:12:53,588
Fine. If that's the way you feel.

272
00:12:53,590 --> 00:12:55,358
Forgive me if I don't trust you.

273
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:57,228
This is coming with me.

274
00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:02,430
The dolly's got a bum wheel.

275
00:13:09,460 --> 00:13:10,951
Elevator's broken.

276
00:13:12,470 --> 00:13:14,038
No trouble at all.

277
00:13:21,980 --> 00:13:22,980
Monica.

278
00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:29,030
Quiet.

279
00:13:59,020 --> 00:14:01,388
You're looking great
this evening, Batman.

280
00:14:01,390 --> 00:14:03,428
Let's do this!

281
00:14:07,260 --> 00:14:08,770
Stun mode activated.

282
00:14:10,300 --> 00:14:12,199
"Not ready", my ass.

283
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:13,468
Indeed, sir.

284
00:14:27,050 --> 00:14:29,218
Who are you working for?

285
00:14:29,220 --> 00:14:30,489
Two-Face.

286
00:14:30,490 --> 00:14:33,418
Threat identified. Proceed with caution.

287
00:14:33,420 --> 00:14:34,460
Bane.

288
00:14:36,330 --> 00:14:39,328
We thought you were dead, Batman.

289
00:14:39,330 --> 00:14:41,158
Bad news. I'm not.

290
00:14:46,100 --> 00:14:48,698
My beef isn't with you, Bane.
I'm here for Two-Face.

291
00:14:48,700 --> 00:14:50,338
He's clearly running this operation.

292
00:14:50,340 --> 00:14:52,438
What? No!

293
00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:03,148
I am also equally in charge.

294
00:15:03,150 --> 00:15:04,718
Not by the look of things.

295
00:15:06,290 --> 00:15:08,818
No! It's Two Faces!

296
00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:11,758
Plural. My face and his face.

297
00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:14,924
I am one of the two faces.
We are partners!

298
00:15:14,926 --> 00:15:16,429
He already has two faces.

299
00:15:16,430 --> 00:15:18,569
If he were your partner,
that would be three faces.

300
00:15:20,070 --> 00:15:22,410
I knew it was too much of a thinker!

301
00:15:26,980 --> 00:15:30,348
Code red. Threat level, 100%.

302
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:35,578
Caution. Caution.

303
00:15:35,580 --> 00:15:36,580
Cau...

304
00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:44,158
I am the shadow that
haunts your darkness!

305
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:46,458
Last chance.

306
00:15:46,460 --> 00:15:48,398
Where's Two-Face?

307
00:15:50,730 --> 00:15:51,730
Ahhh!

308
00:16:13,620 --> 00:16:14,688
Code red.

309
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:29,110
C-Code red. Proceed with caution.

310
00:16:32,470 --> 00:16:34,608
Code red. Code red. Code red.

311
00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:43,548
I will break the Bat!

312
00:16:49,630 --> 00:16:53,198
Bane, you gullible fool!

313
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:56,328
Monica, call Lucius Fox.

314
00:16:57,470 --> 00:16:59,061
Well, what do we have here?

315
00:16:59,063 --> 00:17:01,014
Boss is gonna love this.

316
00:17:01,016 --> 00:17:05,686
Looks like ya got your
bell rung real good, Batty.

317
00:17:08,510 --> 00:17:11,578
We cooked up something special for ya!

318
00:17:11,580 --> 00:17:14,578
Why didn't you wake up
and stop me, Alfred?

319
00:17:14,580 --> 00:17:17,089
To repay you for years of torment,

320
00:17:17,090 --> 00:17:20,518
we're gonna make a little
video for all of Gotham to see.

321
00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:23,428
Yeah! Then we're gonna post it!

322
00:17:23,430 --> 00:17:25,698
That's implied, Rick.

323
00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:29,528
Everyone's gonna know it was
Two-face's crew that killed Batman!

324
00:17:31,130 --> 00:17:32,500
You two, go check it out.

325
00:17:35,740 --> 00:17:36,810
What the...

326
00:17:37,770 --> 00:17:39,470
It's "The Macaroni".

327
00:17:59,460 --> 00:18:01,298
- Who are you?
- My liege.

328
00:18:01,300 --> 00:18:03,598
- Alfred.
- Just doing my part, sir.

329
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:05,700
That wig is pretty impractical.

330
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:10,708
Let's get you on your feet.

331
00:18:10,710 --> 00:18:12,201
Just say it. Say, "I told you so".

332
00:18:12,203 --> 00:18:15,308
A gentleman does not trade
in such pedestrian platitudes.

333
00:18:17,450 --> 00:18:19,978
But he does know when to ask for help.

334
00:18:19,980 --> 00:18:21,578
A little assistance, my lady.

335
00:18:21,580 --> 00:18:22,648
Be right there!

336
00:18:26,460 --> 00:18:27,618
Oh, yikes.

337
00:18:27,620 --> 00:18:30,263
Your legs are hella jacked up.
One of them's, like,

338
00:18:30,265 --> 00:18:33,528
going that way and the other
one's all floppy and stuff.

339
00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:34,798
It's gross.

340
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:36,798
Can you just help me up?

341
00:18:43,770 --> 00:18:45,008
Jesus, what now!

342
00:18:48,010 --> 00:18:52,748
I was born in hell,
and I demand respect!

343
00:18:52,750 --> 00:18:55,318
I crushed Batman.

344
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:57,948
Perhaps I should do the same to you?

345
00:18:57,950 --> 00:19:00,458
Tranquilo, baby, tranquilo!

346
00:19:00,460 --> 00:19:02,355
I want to hear you out, but I cannot

347
00:19:02,357 --> 00:19:03,759
talk to you when you're like this.

348
00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:06,028
I beg you, please, calm down.

349
00:19:06,030 --> 00:19:08,668
Do one of those breathing exercises
you're always telling me about.

350
00:19:08,670 --> 00:19:11,820
Oh, sorry.

351
00:19:15,940 --> 00:19:18,508
Better. Now, talk to me.

352
00:19:18,510 --> 00:19:20,909
You said this was an equal partnership,

353
00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:23,059
but even Batman thinks
you're running Gotham.

354
00:19:23,061 --> 00:19:26,148
Ah, don't listen to bat face.
He's just messing with your head.

355
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:32,781
- Focus.
- Now, when you say, "Crushed him",

356
00:19:32,783 --> 00:19:34,105
does that mean he's dead?

357
00:19:34,107 --> 00:19:36,459
His legs were parting
in different directions!

358
00:19:36,460 --> 00:19:38,229
- It was gross.
- In the future,

359
00:19:38,230 --> 00:19:39,871
I think we should just kill Batman

360
00:19:39,873 --> 00:19:41,968
when we get the chance,
but you did a good job, buddy.

361
00:19:41,970 --> 00:19:44,928
See, I contribute to this business.

362
00:19:44,930 --> 00:19:47,468
We need a new name that
represents both of us.

363
00:19:47,470 --> 00:19:49,098
The Bane of Your Existence?

364
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:50,808
Bane Capital?

365
00:19:50,810 --> 00:19:52,708
Not that, but something like that.

366
00:19:52,710 --> 00:19:54,109
We... we can pitch on it.

367
00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:56,009
It's not the name. The name's workin'.

368
00:19:56,010 --> 00:19:59,878
What I think is you need to
have room to do your best work.

369
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:03,719
Space to spread out and explore
all the nooks and crannies

370
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:05,488
in that big ol' noggin of yours.

371
00:20:05,490 --> 00:20:07,858
To find what sparks my joy?

372
00:20:07,860 --> 00:20:09,359
Exactly.

373
00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:11,790
And I know just the
place for you to do that.

374
00:20:15,030 --> 00:20:16,898
Eh.

375
00:20:16,900 --> 00:20:19,598
That's beautiful.

376
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:21,738
See? Isn't that nice?

377
00:20:21,740 --> 00:20:24,740
Who takes care of you? Right, buddy?

378
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:33,748
Sweet mother of Canadian Club!

379
00:20:33,750 --> 00:20:35,218
- Are you sitting?
- Sometimes I sit.

380
00:20:35,220 --> 00:20:37,140
- Never seen it.
- You don't know everything I do.

381
00:20:37,142 --> 00:20:40,618
You don't write, you don't call.

382
00:20:40,620 --> 00:20:42,319
I thought you'd abandoned us.

383
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:44,057
I would never give upon Gotham.

384
00:20:44,059 --> 00:20:47,059
Well, uh, I can get you
up to speed real quick.

385
00:20:47,060 --> 00:20:50,669
The city's in the shitter. We have
a lot of work to do, partner.

386
00:20:50,670 --> 00:20:53,299
Should probably start
by taking back the GCPD.

387
00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:54,798
There was a coup, of sorts.

388
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,309
- No.
- Okay, we'll start smaller.

389
00:20:57,310 --> 00:20:59,038
Gotta walk before we can run.

390
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:00,438
Uh, how about the docks?

391
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,878
No, I mean, I can't work.

392
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:05,148
I'm trying to do the math here.

393
00:21:05,150 --> 00:21:07,918
Uh, you're back, crime's
at an all-time high.

394
00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:09,019
What's the problem?

395
00:21:09,020 --> 00:21:11,109
I'm not physically able. Currently.

396
00:21:11,111 --> 00:21:12,889
- Is that why you're sitting?
- Maybe.

397
00:21:12,890 --> 00:21:15,118
I need a little time to get
back to my fighting weight.

398
00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:16,759
Your fighting weight? Okay.

399
00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:19,759
And how long are we talking?
A week, a month, uh...

400
00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:21,113
Gotham needs a bat!

401
00:21:21,115 --> 00:21:22,558
I agree.

402
00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:24,999
- And I need a partner.
- Also agree.

403
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,539
And I know the perfect
person for the job.

404
00:21:27,540 --> 00:21:29,538
Jim, meet Batgirl.

405
00:21:29,540 --> 00:21:32,738
It's a real honor to meet
you, Da... Commissioner.

406
00:21:32,740 --> 00:21:33,979
What's she doing here?

407
00:21:33,980 --> 00:21:35,878
Like you said, the city needs the bat.

408
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:37,709
The bat inspires fear in criminals,

409
00:21:37,710 --> 00:21:39,586
and hope in the people of Gotham.

410
00:21:39,588 --> 00:21:42,218
And with your help, Batgirl
can keep that hope alive.

411
00:21:42,220 --> 00:21:44,618
You want us to work together?

412
00:21:44,620 --> 00:21:45,729
It's temporary.

413
00:21:45,730 --> 00:21:49,230
The people of Gotham need to believe
that Batman is still out there.

414
00:21:49,990 --> 00:21:50,990
Uh...

415
00:21:54,900 --> 00:21:57,399
We will literally have the best time.

416
00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:58,832
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

417
00:21:58,834 --> 00:22:00,396
Hey, guys, Batgirl here,

418
00:22:00,398 --> 00:22:03,858
and I've got some big news!

419
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:09,010
I liked it.

420
00:22:10,838 --> 00:22:12,629
Batgirl should have smiled more.

421
00:22:12,631 --> 00:22:14,422
You wanna watch another one?

422
00:22:14,424 --> 00:22:16,048
Fine. Whatever.

423
00:22:16,050 --> 00:22:17,588
It doesn't come out for a week?

424
00:22:17,590 --> 00:22:20,818
This distribution model is ridiculous!

425
00:22:20,820 --> 00:22:22,969
Let's just torrent some hentai.

426
00:22:23,517 --> 00:22:28,517
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