1
00:00:00,770 --> 00:00:03,412
Previously on "Wrecked"...

2
00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:05,225
You'll come by my tent every night.

3
00:00:05,250 --> 00:00:06,499
What's in it for me?

4
00:00:06,524 --> 00:00:08,694
I'm kidding. Obviously,
sex, isn't it?

5
00:00:08,719 --> 00:00:11,561
Oh, and I'm pregnant.
And you're the father.

6
00:00:11,586 --> 00:00:13,373
Obviously, there's no way
that she's pregnant.

7
00:00:13,398 --> 00:00:14,656
Okay. What do you need me to do?

8
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,353
Just one more big push, Rosa.

9
00:00:16,378 --> 00:00:17,577
- Okay.
- You can do it.

10
00:00:17,602 --> 00:00:18,868
Oh, my!

11
00:00:18,893 --> 00:00:20,240
It's a baby!

12
00:00:20,265 --> 00:00:21,437
Bye.

13
00:00:23,286 --> 00:00:25,514
- Oh, my goodness!
- Oh!

14
00:00:25,539 --> 00:00:27,242
- We did it!
- Oh, my God!

15
00:00:27,267 --> 00:00:29,600
Oh!

16
00:00:31,310 --> 00:00:32,461
You did it.

17
00:00:32,486 --> 00:00:35,156
Okay, you're a good doctor, Dr.
Florence.

18
00:00:35,181 --> 00:00:36,915
No, I'm not.

19
00:00:37,358 --> 00:00:38,883
I'm a bad doctor.

20
00:00:39,332 --> 00:00:42,266
- What?
- I'm a naughty doctor.

21
00:00:43,995 --> 00:00:46,352
What are you gonna do about it?

22
00:00:46,376 --> 00:00:48,359
- What do I want to do about it?
- Yeah.

23
00:00:55,585 --> 00:00:56,817
Ahh!

24
00:00:56,842 --> 00:00:58,500
Jesus, Karen!

25
00:00:58,525 --> 00:01:00,436
The pirates returned our luggage.

26
00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:02,525
Also, you have a boner.

27
00:01:04,486 --> 00:01:05,749
Come on!

28
00:01:08,615 --> 00:01:09,961
Well, all my jewelry's gone,

29
00:01:09,986 --> 00:01:11,086
but it's not a total bust,

30
00:01:11,111 --> 00:01:14,156
because they left me with...
a single Q-tip.

31
00:01:14,181 --> 00:01:15,687
Oh, God damn it!

32
00:01:15,712 --> 00:01:17,391
The cut all the nipples
out of my shirts!

33
00:01:18,071 --> 00:01:19,617
Hey, I cut the titties out!

34
00:01:21,066 --> 00:01:22,249
What's up, dawg?

35
00:01:22,328 --> 00:01:23,998
I mean, I think that's a good look.

36
00:01:24,023 --> 00:01:25,222
- Really?
- Oh, yeah.

37
00:01:25,247 --> 00:01:26,516
You think that this is a good look.

38
00:01:26,541 --> 00:01:28,207
Oh, yeah. You could pull that off.

39
00:01:28,232 --> 00:01:29,492
I'm glad they stole your jewelry.

40
00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:31,706
What is happening over there?

41
00:01:31,731 --> 00:01:32,874
Are they flirting?

42
00:01:32,899 --> 00:01:34,492
What the hell... Mario?

43
00:01:34,517 --> 00:01:36,078
It's gonna be painful. Mm-hmm.

44
00:01:36,103 --> 00:01:38,421
Aw, pbht! Check me,
I'll figure it out.

45
00:01:38,460 --> 00:01:39,514
Hey!

46
00:01:39,539 --> 00:01:40,789
Hey!

47
00:01:40,814 --> 00:01:42,500
Are you friends flirting?

48
00:01:42,525 --> 00:01:44,061
- What?!
- What?!

49
00:01:44,086 --> 00:01:45,703
- Flirting...
- We're not flirting.

50
00:01:45,728 --> 00:01:47,429
- We're talking.
- Oh, my God. You're flirting!

51
00:01:47,454 --> 00:01:50,961
Oh. Turns out I was flirting.

52
00:01:51,417 --> 00:01:53,055
Oh, what?

53
00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:54,967
Yes!

54
00:01:54,992 --> 00:01:56,430
Babe, they didn't take

55
00:01:56,455 --> 00:01:58,421
my Roger by Roger Federer sweatbands.

56
00:01:58,593 --> 00:01:59,844
Suckers were sitting on a gold mine,

57
00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:01,168
didn't even know it.

58
00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:02,679
I don't get it.

59
00:02:02,846 --> 00:02:05,133
Why would they give us
our stuff back now?

60
00:02:05,158 --> 00:02:08,610
- Who cares?
- They must be leaving.

61
00:02:08,634 --> 00:02:10,595
Good riddance. Pirate
rule is horse shit.

62
00:02:10,620 --> 00:02:13,154
Todd, these pirates are our last
chance to get off the island.

63
00:02:13,179 --> 00:02:15,713
If that boat leaves, we die here.

64
00:02:15,888 --> 00:02:17,888
But I don't want to die here.

65
00:02:17,913 --> 00:02:19,602
I want to die in Scottsdale.

66
00:02:19,627 --> 00:02:20,469
We all do.

67
00:02:20,494 --> 00:02:21,986
That's why we got to
get on that boat.

68
00:02:22,011 --> 00:02:23,935
How? We got nothing to offer.

69
00:02:25,053 --> 00:02:27,003
Th-There is one thing.

70
00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:32,272
I don't know. I really
like these sweatbands.

71
00:02:32,297 --> 00:02:34,022
I got to bang one of these pirates.

72
00:02:34,047 --> 00:02:34,843
What?!

73
00:02:34,868 --> 00:02:37,850
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -

74
00:02:37,875 --> 00:02:40,858
There is no way I'm gonna
let one of these scum sacks

75
00:02:40,883 --> 00:02:43,160
anywhere near your smokin'-hot
boobies and butt.

76
00:02:43,185 --> 00:02:44,522
Okay, you think I want to do this?

77
00:02:44,547 --> 00:02:46,266
- Yeah.
- This is the only way.

78
00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:49,092
In exchange for sex, we ask
for two spots on the ship.

79
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It's a classic

80
00:02:50,265 --> 00:02:52,709
- reverse indecent proposal.
- Reverse indecent proposal.

81
00:02:52,734 --> 00:02:54,022
- Exactly.
- Hell, no.

82
00:02:54,047 --> 00:02:55,880
No, no, no, no, no, no, hell, no.

83
00:02:55,905 --> 00:02:57,514
I just made peace with you and Chet.

84
00:02:57,539 --> 00:03:01,069
I don't think I could handle
you boning down with a pirate.

85
00:03:01,094 --> 00:03:03,431
Plus, what makes you think
one of these pud-knockers

86
00:03:03,456 --> 00:03:04,893
would even go for it?

87
00:03:05,233 --> 00:03:07,061
Well, Tank Top's been
flirting with me.

88
00:03:07,086 --> 00:03:07,794
What!?

89
00:03:07,819 --> 00:03:10,303
Yeah. He's, like, totally into me.
It's so obvious. Come on.

90
00:03:10,328 --> 00:03:12,645
All I'm saying is that if we offer,

91
00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:13,772
I know he'll say yes.

92
00:03:13,797 --> 00:03:16,202
Except he won't be able to, 'cause
I'm gonna murder him by killing him.

93
00:03:16,227 --> 00:03:17,772
- Oh, my God. Todd, listen to me.
- Do this.

94
00:03:17,797 --> 00:03:18,647
Look.

95
00:03:18,672 --> 00:03:20,521
This is about saving our lives.

96
00:03:20,546 --> 00:03:25,015
And besides, a wiener just a wiener.

97
00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:26,310
- Okay?
- Don't cheek-stroke me.

98
00:03:26,342 --> 00:03:27,998
- You know I hate that.
- Listen to me.

99
00:03:28,023 --> 00:03:30,631
I am your babe, and your babe only.

100
00:03:30,656 --> 00:03:32,209
No matter what.

101
00:03:32,417 --> 00:03:33,984
Fine.

102
00:03:34,009 --> 00:03:35,373
But you have to wear like 10 condoms.

103
00:03:35,398 --> 00:03:36,584
That's not how condoms work.

104
00:03:36,609 --> 00:03:38,084
And you have to wrap
a shirt around it.

105
00:03:38,109 --> 00:03:38,743
No!

106
00:03:38,768 --> 00:03:40,920
Oh, whew!

107
00:03:42,992 --> 00:03:45,756
I bet your dead husband never
gave it to you like that.

108
00:03:45,781 --> 00:03:47,982
He sure didn't.

109
00:03:48,008 --> 00:03:49,887
But it'll do.

110
00:03:50,944 --> 00:03:52,384
So, I've been, uh,

111
00:03:52,409 --> 00:03:54,275
I've been thinking a
little bit about us.

112
00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:55,736
I have things to do.

113
00:03:55,806 --> 00:03:58,272
Things to do!

114
00:03:58,391 --> 00:04:00,657
It's a Monday, isn't it?

115
00:04:00,834 --> 00:04:04,075
You know, you act all tough.

116
00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:07,420
But I think inside, you're
actually very tender.

117
00:04:07,445 --> 00:04:09,131
I'm not.

118
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,817
Now, if you let me in,

119
00:04:11,842 --> 00:04:13,881
I bet old Steve could...

120
00:04:13,906 --> 00:04:16,039
The Barracuda. Oh, shit.

121
00:04:16,280 --> 00:04:17,975
Uh, the buyer came through.

122
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,505
Hello, V-Neck. The
buyer's come through?

123
00:04:20,530 --> 00:04:21,521
Who's the buyer?

124
00:04:21,546 --> 00:04:22,616
Can you get out?

125
00:04:22,641 --> 00:04:23,655
What about our conversation?

126
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:24,725
- Now!
- All right!

127
00:04:28,095 --> 00:04:30,178
- 'Sup, dude?
- Hey.

128
00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:32,904
Working hard or hardly
working, right?

129
00:04:33,915 --> 00:04:34,999
Working hard.

130
00:04:35,024 --> 00:04:36,984
- Very cool.
- Mm.

131
00:04:37,147 --> 00:04:39,125
So, it looks like you dawgs

132
00:04:39,150 --> 00:04:40,687
are tearin' out of here soon, huh?

133
00:04:40,712 --> 00:04:41,820
Yeah, sucks!

134
00:04:41,845 --> 00:04:44,412
Feels like we barely got
to know each other.

135
00:04:44,437 --> 00:04:46,350
Okay. What's going on?

136
00:04:46,375 --> 00:04:48,164
'Cause I've got a lot
of sorting to do,

137
00:04:48,189 --> 00:04:50,039
and I need this
interaction to be over.

138
00:04:50,064 --> 00:04:51,615
Well, we were just
saying that, you know,

139
00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:52,748
it would be so great

140
00:04:52,773 --> 00:04:54,406
if we could just go
on that boat with you

141
00:04:54,431 --> 00:04:55,101
and just, like,

142
00:04:55,126 --> 00:04:57,756
really, you know, get
to know each other.

143
00:04:57,797 --> 00:05:00,175
Yeah. Not gonna happen.

144
00:05:00,387 --> 00:05:02,287
Okay.

145
00:05:02,312 --> 00:05:06,172
Well, what if I have sex with you?

146
00:05:12,658 --> 00:05:15,626
Reverse indecent proposal.

147
00:05:15,699 --> 00:05:17,699
That's a bold move.

148
00:05:17,724 --> 00:05:19,486
That's a risky move.

149
00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:21,346
What makes you think
I'd be interested?

150
00:05:22,134 --> 00:05:24,226
Well, I mean, you've
been flirting with me

151
00:05:24,251 --> 00:05:26,429
- for weeks, so...
- No, I haven't.

152
00:05:26,454 --> 00:05:28,959
- Oh! Busted!
- No.

153
00:05:28,984 --> 00:05:30,187
Oh, my God.

154
00:05:30,212 --> 00:05:31,499
She thinks everyone
is flirting with her.

155
00:05:31,524 --> 00:05:33,757
- No, I don't!
- Uh, yeah, you do.

156
00:05:33,782 --> 00:05:35,211
My friend Chuck, Tony Touch,

157
00:05:35,236 --> 00:05:37,412
Bake Show, Gawler, my boy O-Ring...

158
00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:39,601
Okay, O-Ring literally
proposed to me.

159
00:05:39,626 --> 00:05:40,492
- So, that's...
- So have I!

160
00:05:40,517 --> 00:05:41,500
That literally means nothing!

161
00:05:41,525 --> 00:05:44,353
Shh! Keep it... hey!
Keep your voices down.

162
00:05:44,377 --> 00:05:46,764
So, you know what? I
am interested, but...

163
00:05:47,179 --> 00:05:48,914
I want something different.

164
00:05:48,939 --> 00:05:54,219
I'm talkin' about a reverse
reverse indecent proposal.

165
00:05:54,828 --> 00:05:57,429
So, a... decent proposal?

166
00:05:57,454 --> 00:05:59,788
See, it turns out, um...

167
00:06:00,072 --> 00:06:01,971
I'm quite bi-curious.

168
00:06:01,996 --> 00:06:03,572
- Oh!
- Oh, no.

169
00:06:04,226 --> 00:06:06,484
So yeah, I think I can
get you on that boat,

170
00:06:06,509 --> 00:06:09,328
but, uh, I'm gonna want
to do both of you.

171
00:06:10,046 --> 00:06:11,500
Together.

172
00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:20,678
This dude's crazy.

173
00:06:20,703 --> 00:06:22,013
He's playing mind games with us.

174
00:06:22,038 --> 00:06:23,237
What are you talking about?

175
00:06:23,262 --> 00:06:24,920
You've always wanted
to have a threesome.

176
00:06:24,945 --> 00:06:26,992
I've always wanted to have a
threesome with another girl.

177
00:06:27,017 --> 00:06:29,341
Four boobies, one dong...
the way God intended.

178
00:06:29,366 --> 00:06:30,297
Read the Bible!

179
00:06:30,322 --> 00:06:33,210
Uh, why can't it be two
boobs and two dongs, huh?

180
00:06:33,235 --> 00:06:35,195
What? The hell kind of math is that?

181
00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:36,429
- Are you serious?
- Oh, my God.

182
00:06:36,454 --> 00:06:38,781
Todd, are you really
not gonna do this?

183
00:06:38,813 --> 00:06:41,101
I just... I think that we
should go back to the OG plan

184
00:06:41,126 --> 00:06:42,792
and tell him that it's
you and you alone.

185
00:06:42,817 --> 00:06:45,031
10 minutes ago, you didn't
want me to do that at all!

186
00:06:45,056 --> 00:06:47,069
Babe, it's like you said...
a wiener's a wiener.

187
00:06:47,094 --> 00:06:48,695
Oh, my God. And a butt's a butt.

188
00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:49,882
So you man up,

189
00:06:49,907 --> 00:06:52,121
and you [bleep] that pirate with me.

190
00:06:52,477 --> 00:06:54,023
Jess, come on.

191
00:06:54,048 --> 00:06:55,548
Hey!

192
00:06:55,684 --> 00:06:58,685
This reverse reverse
indecent proposal

193
00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:00,124
is tearing us apart!

194
00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:05,037
So weird how everyone was teasing us

195
00:07:05,062 --> 00:07:07,225
about that we were flirting.

196
00:07:07,249 --> 00:07:08,453
It's like, "What?"

197
00:07:08,478 --> 00:07:09,953
- What?
- Right?

198
00:07:10,553 --> 00:07:12,554
We're all stuck on
this island together.

199
00:07:12,579 --> 00:07:15,093
It's not like we're
gonna start hooking up

200
00:07:15,125 --> 00:07:16,711
and, like, in the bushes,

201
00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:18,569
just going down on each other.

202
00:07:19,150 --> 00:07:21,331
That's exactly what... why
I thought it was so funny.

203
00:07:21,356 --> 00:07:22,856
- It's insane.
- Florence!

204
00:07:22,881 --> 00:07:25,181
Can I have a word with
you, just the two of us?

205
00:07:26,635 --> 00:07:28,507
Yeah, just... just you and I?

206
00:07:28,532 --> 00:07:29,964
Um...

207
00:07:31,586 --> 00:07:32,785
Okay.

208
00:07:32,810 --> 00:07:34,176
Well, uh, hypothetically,

209
00:07:34,201 --> 00:07:36,101
if you were in a
relationship with someone...

210
00:07:36,126 --> 00:07:37,219
- Hmm.
- and you wanted

211
00:07:37,243 --> 00:07:39,812
- to take it to the next level...
- Oh.

212
00:07:39,837 --> 00:07:41,403
what would you do?

213
00:07:41,660 --> 00:07:43,053
How well do you know each other?

214
00:07:43,078 --> 00:07:45,975
Well, let's just say we're...
having sex.

215
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,742
You really expect us to believe
that someone on this island

216
00:07:48,767 --> 00:07:51,499
who has met you is
having sex with you?

217
00:07:51,525 --> 00:07:54,222
Yes, Owen, because it's true!

218
00:07:55,337 --> 00:07:57,804
I can't hold it in! We're doing it!

219
00:07:57,829 --> 00:07:59,406
- Doggy-style...
- All right.

220
00:07:59,431 --> 00:08:00,630
- Oh!
- wheelbarrow,

221
00:08:00,655 --> 00:08:02,359
upside-down, how's your father...

222
00:08:02,384 --> 00:08:03,109
Mm. Oh, wow.

223
00:08:03,134 --> 00:08:06,086
so sexually, it's, uh, pretty good.

224
00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:07,148
Oh, it sounds like it.

225
00:08:07,173 --> 00:08:09,405
I just need some advice
on the emotional front.

226
00:08:09,430 --> 00:08:10,382
Okay.

227
00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:12,951
Steve, whoever this is or isn't...

228
00:08:12,976 --> 00:08:14,554
- Oh, it is.
- Sure.

229
00:08:14,579 --> 00:08:16,523
She probably just wants you to...

230
00:08:16,548 --> 00:08:18,728
tell her how you feel...

231
00:08:19,062 --> 00:08:21,127
so she can know if the vibe is real.

232
00:08:22,854 --> 00:08:24,888
What is that? Is that,
like, a song lyric?

233
00:08:24,913 --> 00:08:26,787
No, Steve. Okay?

234
00:08:26,812 --> 00:08:28,827
Just, I don't know,
take her on a date.

235
00:08:28,852 --> 00:08:30,819
Oh, a date. Of course.

236
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,343
- Yeah.
- Like a picnic.

237
00:08:32,368 --> 00:08:34,320
Sure, yeah. That's cute.

238
00:08:34,345 --> 00:08:35,745
Thank you, Florence.

239
00:08:36,199 --> 00:08:38,810
And Owen, a bit rude standing there,

240
00:08:38,835 --> 00:08:40,523
just listening to our conversation.

241
00:08:40,548 --> 00:08:42,218
- Oh, I apologize.
- Thank you.

242
00:08:42,243 --> 00:08:44,036
- Okay.
- A bit rude.

243
00:08:44,061 --> 00:08:47,709
Stupid Todd with his stupid penis!

244
00:08:47,734 --> 00:08:49,491
I mean, why can't he
just have a threesome?

245
00:08:49,516 --> 00:08:51,865
What is the worst that could happen?

246
00:08:55,419 --> 00:08:57,943
Whoa!

247
00:08:57,968 --> 00:08:59,273
Hell, yeah.

248
00:08:59,298 --> 00:09:00,498
Some ponging.

249
00:09:00,523 --> 00:09:02,601
That thing... that's hilarious.

250
00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:04,421
Yeah, I thought we could
chill a little bit

251
00:09:04,446 --> 00:09:05,813
before we get to humping.

252
00:09:05,838 --> 00:09:07,554
Brews in the fridge, you guys.
Help yourselves.

253
00:09:07,579 --> 00:09:08,710
Sick.

254
00:09:08,736 --> 00:09:11,036
Lovin' the jam-band tunes.

255
00:09:11,592 --> 00:09:12,898
Wait, are those...

256
00:09:12,923 --> 00:09:14,789
Roger by Roger Federer sweatbands?

257
00:09:14,813 --> 00:09:15,750
Of course.

258
00:09:15,775 --> 00:09:17,648
I don't hit the links without 'em.

259
00:09:17,673 --> 00:09:19,593
- You play golf?
- You bet.

260
00:09:19,618 --> 00:09:21,385
I'm still working on my scratch game.
I'm a...

261
00:09:21,410 --> 00:09:23,406
- Eight handicap.
- Eight handicap.

262
00:09:29,621 --> 00:09:31,280
What are we doing?

263
00:09:34,805 --> 00:09:36,785
Jess, you can go.

264
00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:38,370
I'm gay now.

265
00:09:38,395 --> 00:09:39,761
What?

266
00:09:39,786 --> 00:09:41,589
I don't love you.

267
00:09:43,173 --> 00:09:45,757
I love you.

268
00:09:45,782 --> 00:09:47,462
I know this is quick, but...

269
00:09:47,487 --> 00:09:49,546
will you gay marry me?

270
00:09:49,571 --> 00:09:51,842
You gay bet I will.

271
00:09:58,682 --> 00:10:00,449
Oh, God.

272
00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:02,219
We can't do it.

273
00:10:02,244 --> 00:10:03,937
He'll fall in love.

274
00:10:05,718 --> 00:10:07,616
The hell's her problem?

275
00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:09,546
I got to bang some dude?

276
00:10:12,406 --> 00:10:15,240
Why can't she just do it solo?

277
00:10:19,382 --> 00:10:20,581
Wow.

278
00:10:22,632 --> 00:10:25,070
- This is so...
- Romantic?

279
00:10:26,274 --> 00:10:27,976
You deserve it.

280
00:10:32,567 --> 00:10:34,687
See anything you like?

281
00:10:34,712 --> 00:10:36,890
No.

282
00:10:37,035 --> 00:10:38,368
What?

283
00:10:38,393 --> 00:10:40,842
That's tiny. Todd has
a way bigger dong.

284
00:10:40,844 --> 00:10:43,172
What if I just go down on
you for like a few hours?

285
00:10:43,196 --> 00:10:44,696
Eh, no way. Hate that stuff.

286
00:10:44,721 --> 00:10:46,280
Well, your boyfriend
already turned me down,

287
00:10:46,305 --> 00:10:47,601
and if you don't have sex with me,

288
00:10:47,626 --> 00:10:48,875
I'll kill both of you.

289
00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:50,094
I don't care.

290
00:10:50,118 --> 00:10:52,118
I want Todd and Todd only.

291
00:10:52,143 --> 00:10:54,031
Even if it kills us.

292
00:10:54,056 --> 00:10:55,194
Aah!

293
00:10:55,219 --> 00:10:56,991
I am... furious!

294
00:10:57,383 --> 00:11:00,452
I will kill everyone!

295
00:11:02,861 --> 00:11:04,060
Oh, God.

296
00:11:04,085 --> 00:11:06,062
I've got to be there.

297
00:11:06,087 --> 00:11:08,468
She loves me too much.

298
00:11:08,493 --> 00:11:10,126
Todd!

299
00:11:11,282 --> 00:11:12,898
Todd!

300
00:11:12,923 --> 00:11:14,675
Jess!

301
00:11:14,700 --> 00:11:16,395
Todd!

302
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,218
You were right. We can't
have a threesome.

303
00:11:20,243 --> 00:11:21,998
No, you were right.

304
00:11:22,023 --> 00:11:23,789
We have to have a threesome.

305
00:11:23,814 --> 00:11:25,343
I let you go in there alone,

306
00:11:25,368 --> 00:11:26,601
you'll get us both killed.

307
00:11:26,626 --> 00:11:29,593
- Wait, what?
- Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

308
00:11:29,626 --> 00:11:31,539
Let's go bang a pirate.

309
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,453
Where are you taking me?

310
00:11:36,478 --> 00:11:38,289
I thought you said there
was an emergency.

311
00:11:38,314 --> 00:11:39,969
It's a picnic emergency.

312
00:11:40,023 --> 00:11:42,109
I don't have time for
this right now, Steve.

313
00:11:42,134 --> 00:11:43,333
I'm very busy.

314
00:11:43,358 --> 00:11:44,788
Five minutes.

315
00:11:45,202 --> 00:11:46,935
Maybe seven.

316
00:11:48,734 --> 00:11:50,434
Okay.

317
00:11:52,261 --> 00:11:54,826
So, unfortunately,

318
00:11:55,007 --> 00:11:57,211
I don't have any real picnic food

319
00:11:57,236 --> 00:11:59,531
because we're stuck
on a deserted island.

320
00:12:00,601 --> 00:12:03,999
So you wrote the word
"cheese" on a rock?

321
00:12:04,033 --> 00:12:06,742
Fancy some wine?

322
00:12:08,171 --> 00:12:10,000
All right. Let's do this.

323
00:12:10,025 --> 00:12:11,406
Take your pants off.

324
00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:15,530
Uh, actually, um, I brought you here

325
00:12:15,555 --> 00:12:18,238
because I want us to talk.

326
00:12:18,317 --> 00:12:20,918
Um, get to know each other.

327
00:12:20,943 --> 00:12:22,077
I'll go first.

328
00:12:22,102 --> 00:12:23,656
So, something you don't know about me

329
00:12:23,681 --> 00:12:25,347
is I used to be married.

330
00:12:25,598 --> 00:12:27,031
Okay?

331
00:12:27,056 --> 00:12:29,906
And my ex... she cheated on me.

332
00:12:29,931 --> 00:12:31,531
She used me.

333
00:12:31,925 --> 00:12:34,755
And I swore I would never
let it happen again,

334
00:12:34,780 --> 00:12:37,406
no matter how pipin' hot the sex was.

335
00:12:37,431 --> 00:12:39,384
You don't want to have sex anymore.

336
00:12:39,409 --> 00:12:41,343
No, no! That's not it!

337
00:12:41,368 --> 00:12:42,516
Please.

338
00:12:42,541 --> 00:12:44,789
I'm just trying to get
you to let me in.

339
00:12:44,814 --> 00:12:46,132
I know that deep down,

340
00:12:46,157 --> 00:12:49,429
underneath that cool,
tough pirate-girl image,

341
00:12:49,613 --> 00:12:51,112
you're a nice person.

342
00:12:52,441 --> 00:12:55,275
You don't give up, do you, Steve?

343
00:12:56,587 --> 00:12:58,086
The Barracuda!

344
00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,748
Aah, V-Neck!

345
00:12:59,773 --> 00:13:01,707
Have you heard of knocking?

346
00:13:02,012 --> 00:13:03,700
Where am I supposed to knock, Steve?

347
00:13:03,732 --> 00:13:04,929
What is it?

348
00:13:04,954 --> 00:13:06,661
The deal's ready to be finalized.

349
00:13:06,898 --> 00:13:08,398
I have to go.

350
00:13:11,362 --> 00:13:13,210
Thanks for the cheese.

351
00:13:16,385 --> 00:13:17,584
Hey.

352
00:13:17,609 --> 00:13:19,007
We... We talked over your offer,

353
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:21,676
and... we'll do it.

354
00:13:23,905 --> 00:13:25,475
Well, all right.

355
00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:27,420
But we're gonna need
to make some rules.

356
00:13:27,445 --> 00:13:28,453
Rule number one...

357
00:13:28,478 --> 00:13:30,709
You're not allowed to fall
in love with each other!

358
00:13:30,734 --> 00:13:32,600
- What?
- What?

359
00:13:32,625 --> 00:13:33,914
Why would that even be a rule?

360
00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:35,038
It is a rule!

361
00:13:35,063 --> 00:13:37,363
You both have to agree
to it, or no deal.

362
00:13:38,155 --> 00:13:39,781
- All right.
- Yeah, of course.

363
00:13:39,806 --> 00:13:42,172
Okay. Actual rule number one...

364
00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:44,530
I hump you, you don't hump me.

365
00:13:44,555 --> 00:13:45,718
Wow. That's interesting.

366
00:13:45,750 --> 00:13:47,500
You're sure you don't even want
to try it just a little bit?

367
00:13:49,211 --> 00:13:51,186
We'll play it by ear.

368
00:13:51,211 --> 00:13:52,109
Final rule!

369
00:13:52,134 --> 00:13:53,476
I pick the music, strictly jam bands.

370
00:13:53,501 --> 00:13:54,203
No!

371
00:13:54,228 --> 00:13:55,344
No jam bands!

372
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:58,154
No harmonicas, no
improvising, no solos.

373
00:13:58,179 --> 00:13:59,725
- Oh, this is not the girl who was like...
- One guitar...

374
00:13:59,750 --> 00:14:01,491
- "Take me to Widespread..."
- noodling thingie...

375
00:14:01,516 --> 00:14:02,640
- again and again and again and...
- whatever that is.

376
00:14:02,665 --> 00:14:04,710
Whoa, whoa whoa!

377
00:14:04,735 --> 00:14:06,586
God, you guys fight a lot, huh?

378
00:14:06,611 --> 00:14:08,141
- No.
- Yes.

379
00:14:08,606 --> 00:14:10,725
So, you down to clown or what?

380
00:14:13,033 --> 00:14:15,730
Does it look like I'm down to clown?

381
00:14:16,590 --> 00:14:18,536
- Oh, wow.
- That's miming.

382
00:14:18,561 --> 00:14:19,825
No, that's not clowning.

383
00:14:19,850 --> 00:14:21,883
That's real bad miming.

384
00:14:22,191 --> 00:14:23,891
My God.

385
00:14:23,916 --> 00:14:25,044
- That's...
- Oh, God.

386
00:14:25,069 --> 00:14:26,657
- Oh, no.
- Wow.

387
00:14:26,853 --> 00:14:29,618
- God bless!
- Oh, man!

388
00:14:37,622 --> 00:14:40,582
S-So, how should we...
how should we start?

389
00:14:40,607 --> 00:14:43,261
You in her, and them me in
her, and then we touch butts?

390
00:14:43,286 --> 00:14:44,262
Or you want more of a sandwich sitch?

391
00:14:44,287 --> 00:14:45,753
Shh. Or...

392
00:14:45,778 --> 00:14:48,591
Show me how you normally
start when you're alone.

393
00:14:48,616 --> 00:14:50,458
- Oh, we got this act down.
- Oh. Yeah.

394
00:14:50,483 --> 00:14:52,778
Quick and dirty. Jess, hop to it.

395
00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:56,708
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

396
00:14:56,733 --> 00:14:58,949
Hey hey! Stop. What,
are you spitting?

397
00:14:58,974 --> 00:15:00,372
Jesus, man! What's happening?

398
00:15:00,397 --> 00:15:02,638
What? You told us to start slammin'.
No, no, no.

399
00:15:02,663 --> 00:15:04,240
We're not gonna be slammin' anything.

400
00:15:04,264 --> 00:15:05,341
We will be making love,

401
00:15:05,366 --> 00:15:08,255
and love is about coming together.

402
00:15:09,537 --> 00:15:10,778
That's impossible.

403
00:15:10,804 --> 00:15:13,084
No, I mean becoming one.

404
00:15:13,186 --> 00:15:15,435
You two need to start listening
to each other's bodies.

405
00:15:15,460 --> 00:15:18,235
I mean really hear each other,
do you know what I mean?

406
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:21,463
I honestly have no idea
what you're talking about.

407
00:15:21,648 --> 00:15:24,248
Okay. Face each other.

408
00:15:24,993 --> 00:15:27,893
Todd, look at Jess.

409
00:15:28,077 --> 00:15:29,904
Nope, in the eyes.

410
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,122
In the eyes?

411
00:15:31,172 --> 00:15:32,738
Why would I...

412
00:15:33,357 --> 00:15:35,091
Whoa.

413
00:15:35,116 --> 00:15:36,582
Wow.

414
00:15:36,607 --> 00:15:38,396
What is happening to us?

415
00:15:38,421 --> 00:15:40,455
I'm getting all...

416
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:42,012
goose-pimply.

417
00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:44,440
Now, Jess, I'm guessing

418
00:15:44,465 --> 00:15:47,021
that little plank-board
situation from before

419
00:15:47,046 --> 00:15:49,246
isn't exactly how you
like to get down.

420
00:15:49,271 --> 00:15:50,739
So why don't you tell Todd

421
00:15:50,764 --> 00:15:53,203
exactly what you want
him to do to you?

422
00:15:53,442 --> 00:15:55,114
Like, with words, or...?

423
00:15:55,139 --> 00:15:58,291
Yeah, with words. That's... yes.

424
00:15:59,247 --> 00:16:00,914
Kiss...

425
00:16:00,939 --> 00:16:02,629
my neck.

426
00:16:02,869 --> 00:16:04,881
Your neck?

427
00:16:06,506 --> 00:16:08,301
I mean, okay.

428
00:16:11,264 --> 00:16:13,083
What's that sound? Am I hurting you?

429
00:16:13,108 --> 00:16:14,599
No!

430
00:16:14,624 --> 00:16:17,394
No, I-I-I liked it.

431
00:16:21,090 --> 00:16:22,669
Yeah.

432
00:16:22,694 --> 00:16:24,525
Now we're getting going.

433
00:16:26,772 --> 00:16:30,130
Now it's Tank Top Time.

434
00:16:30,845 --> 00:16:32,111
All right.

435
00:16:32,136 --> 00:16:34,505
So, he says he'll give
you $200,000 a pop

436
00:16:34,530 --> 00:16:36,396
and he'll take everyone under 50,

437
00:16:36,421 --> 00:16:38,054
so that leaves 29 islanders.

438
00:16:38,116 --> 00:16:40,732
Tell him I said $250,000,

439
00:16:40,757 --> 00:16:43,091
and I want them gone tomorrow.

440
00:16:43,246 --> 00:16:45,714
What about everybody else?

441
00:16:46,123 --> 00:16:48,216
Kill them.

442
00:16:48,621 --> 00:16:50,107
Aah!

443
00:16:52,604 --> 00:16:54,784
Caught this one
outside, eavesdropping.

444
00:16:54,816 --> 00:16:57,075
- You want me to kill him?
- Please, no!

445
00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:58,169
I didn't hear anything.

446
00:16:58,194 --> 00:16:59,951
I've actually got an
ear infection, so...

447
00:16:59,976 --> 00:17:01,833
- I'm just...
- No.

448
00:17:01,858 --> 00:17:05,685
I've decided Steve will
be coming with us.

449
00:17:06,756 --> 00:17:08,380
Wow!

450
00:17:09,013 --> 00:17:11,098
I never felt so close to you.

451
00:17:11,123 --> 00:17:13,122
I never felt so close to you.

452
00:17:13,147 --> 00:17:14,380
Whoo!

453
00:17:14,772 --> 00:17:17,669
Oh! Tell me about it, huh?

454
00:17:17,709 --> 00:17:18,841
Yeah.

455
00:17:18,866 --> 00:17:20,646
Whoo!

456
00:17:20,671 --> 00:17:23,472
- Man, I feel loose!
- Yeah.

457
00:17:23,497 --> 00:17:25,856
I'll tell you what. Your timing
couldn't have been any better.

458
00:17:25,888 --> 00:17:27,788
Yeah, I feel like we really
got into a nice rhythm there,

459
00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:28,536
you know?

460
00:17:28,561 --> 00:17:30,630
No, no. I mean The Barracuda.

461
00:17:30,655 --> 00:17:32,713
She's about to round
up all your friends

462
00:17:32,738 --> 00:17:35,239
and cut out their organs,
sell 'em on the black market.

463
00:17:36,622 --> 00:17:37,921
Come again?

464
00:17:37,946 --> 00:17:40,461
Kidneys! Yeah, those
things sell, man.

465
00:17:40,486 --> 00:17:43,553
I tell you what, you guys
are precious capital.

466
00:17:43,945 --> 00:17:45,912
You'll have to kill everyone.

467
00:17:45,961 --> 00:17:47,994
Yeah, but you know what?

468
00:17:48,113 --> 00:17:50,922
You guys don't worry,
'cause you're good.

469
00:17:50,947 --> 00:17:52,413
You're gonna be on that boat with me.

470
00:17:52,438 --> 00:17:55,439
And every day is gonna
be Tank Top Time.

471
00:17:56,235 --> 00:17:57,617
Whoo!

472
00:17:57,642 --> 00:18:00,539
Tank Top Time!

473
00:18:05,305 --> 00:18:06,671
Todd.

474
00:18:06,696 --> 00:18:07,822
Todd, we have to tell everyone!

475
00:18:07,847 --> 00:18:09,032
Okay, yeah, that's great,

476
00:18:09,057 --> 00:18:10,314
but let's just think this through.

477
00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:12,072
Think what through? They're
gonna kill everyone!

478
00:18:12,097 --> 00:18:13,363
I know. I know, all right?

479
00:18:13,388 --> 00:18:14,993
But if we tell everyone
what's going on,

480
00:18:15,018 --> 00:18:16,094
we'll lose our place on the ship.

481
00:18:16,119 --> 00:18:17,765
That means we just had a threesome

482
00:18:17,790 --> 00:18:21,023
with a pirate named
Tank Top for nothing!

483
00:18:21,048 --> 00:18:22,313
He was putting his fingers in me,

484
00:18:22,338 --> 00:18:23,494
- unless that was you.
- Okay, shh.

485
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:24,384
Todd, look at me. Look at me.

486
00:18:24,409 --> 00:18:25,775
Even if we die,

487
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:28,923
what we just did in there
was not for nothing.

488
00:18:29,068 --> 00:18:30,706
It was for us.

489
00:18:30,939 --> 00:18:32,978
I love you so much.

490
00:18:33,003 --> 00:18:35,476
I love you. Now, let's
go tell our friends

491
00:18:35,501 --> 00:18:36,431
they're about to get murdered.

492
00:18:36,456 --> 00:18:38,150
Okay, but we should
wash our hands first.

493
00:18:38,175 --> 00:18:39,012
Hurry up.

494
00:18:39,037 --> 00:18:40,595
So I broke these two fingers

495
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,064
punching him right in the chin,

496
00:18:42,089 --> 00:18:44,665
and that's how I got thrown
off the set of "La Bamba."

497
00:18:45,114 --> 00:18:46,601
There you are!

498
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,336
I've been looking for you everywhere.

499
00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:50,251
Okay, hi.

500
00:18:50,276 --> 00:18:52,465
I was hanging out with Florence.

501
00:18:53,622 --> 00:18:55,296
I see.

502
00:18:57,121 --> 00:19:01,390
Is there anything you'd
like to say to me?

503
00:19:01,415 --> 00:19:03,082
No.

504
00:19:04,871 --> 00:19:08,164
Okay. Um, fine.

505
00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:09,830
Uh, I think, you know,

506
00:19:09,855 --> 00:19:12,356
that we might kind of
be into each other,

507
00:19:12,381 --> 00:19:14,399
but, uh, I'm not really sure

508
00:19:14,424 --> 00:19:15,806
'cause we haven't even
really talked about it.

509
00:19:15,831 --> 00:19:17,189
Okay, dude.

510
00:19:17,214 --> 00:19:20,279
Do not do this, all right?

511
00:19:20,304 --> 00:19:23,235
First you're gonna hook up,
then you're gonna break up,

512
00:19:23,260 --> 00:19:24,509
and then you're gonna
be stuck together

513
00:19:24,534 --> 00:19:25,611
here on the island.

514
00:19:25,636 --> 00:19:28,459
Well... that's what she said.

515
00:19:29,217 --> 00:19:30,628
I don't get it.

516
00:19:31,550 --> 00:19:32,901
Get what?

517
00:19:32,926 --> 00:19:35,212
"That's what she said"? How's
that a "That's what she said"?

518
00:19:35,237 --> 00:19:36,903
No, that's literally what she said.

519
00:19:36,928 --> 00:19:38,767
Okay, I don't think you
understand how the joke works.

520
00:19:38,798 --> 00:19:40,064
No, I'm not doing the joke.

521
00:19:40,089 --> 00:19:41,797
I'm telling you what she told me.
That's what she said.

522
00:19:41,839 --> 00:19:43,105
Yeah, but usually, you have to do it

523
00:19:43,130 --> 00:19:44,846
in, like, a reference
to a sexual thing,

524
00:19:44,871 --> 00:19:46,244
- like, "That's what she said."
- I understand.

525
00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:47,697
- I understand the joke.
- Guys! Guys!

526
00:19:47,721 --> 00:19:50,522
- They're gonna kill us!
- The pirates... they're gonna kill us!

527
00:19:50,556 --> 00:19:51,423
We got to get our shit!

528
00:19:51,448 --> 00:19:52,867
We got to get our shit, we
got to get out of here!

529
00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:54,306
Whoa whoa whoa, wait! Slow down.
What is happening?

530
00:19:54,331 --> 00:19:55,220
The pirates...

531
00:19:55,245 --> 00:19:57,439
they're gonna harvest our
organs and sell them.

532
00:19:57,463 --> 00:19:58,658
- Sure they are.
- What?

533
00:19:58,683 --> 00:20:00,025
Wait, how did you guys find this out?

534
00:20:00,050 --> 00:20:01,405
Because we just had...

535
00:20:01,430 --> 00:20:03,189
Never mind! It's not important.

536
00:20:03,214 --> 00:20:04,767
Guys! Guys!

537
00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:07,957
The pirates... they're gonna kill us!

538
00:20:07,982 --> 00:20:10,056
We know, Steve. Todd
and Jess just told us.

539
00:20:10,081 --> 00:20:12,142
Oh.

540
00:20:14,516 --> 00:20:15,983
Steve, man.

541
00:20:16,008 --> 00:20:17,564
If it means that much to you,

542
00:20:17,589 --> 00:20:19,355
you can come back in.

543
00:20:19,380 --> 00:20:21,220
We'll pretend we didn't know.

544
00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:23,103
It's not that!

545
00:20:23,408 --> 00:20:26,368
I thought The Barracuda
was a good person.

546
00:20:27,484 --> 00:20:29,812
I've been sleeping with a monster!

547
00:20:29,837 --> 00:20:31,228
What?

548
00:20:31,253 --> 00:20:32,876
- The Barracuda?
- What?

549
00:20:32,901 --> 00:20:35,314
I couldn't say anything!
She was gonna kill me!

550
00:20:35,339 --> 00:20:37,103
Steve... this Steve...

551
00:20:37,128 --> 00:20:39,328
has been banging The Barracuda!

552
00:20:39,353 --> 00:20:40,134
How?!

553
00:20:40,159 --> 00:20:42,001
He's lying. Is he lying? He's lying.

554
00:20:42,026 --> 00:20:43,251
- Yeah, he's got to be lying.
- Hey!

555
00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:46,579
There are more important
issues at hand here!

556
00:20:46,604 --> 00:20:48,494
Like the fact that our kidneys

557
00:20:48,519 --> 00:20:50,955
are about to be ripped
out of our asses!

558
00:20:50,980 --> 00:20:52,444
Guys, what are we gonna do?

559
00:20:52,469 --> 00:20:55,380
I'll tell you what we're gonna do.

560
00:20:56,510 --> 00:20:58,830
We're all gonna die!

561
00:21:05,869 --> 00:21:11,032
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -