1 00:00:29,342 --> 00:00:33,986 Sync and corrections by btsix www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:34,020 --> 00:00:36,322 We now return to The Last Man on Earth 3 00:00:36,355 --> 00:00:39,392 Plus These Other 16 People with More Showing Up Every Day. 4 00:00:39,425 --> 00:00:41,145 No way they'll pull this off. 5 00:00:41,147 --> 00:00:42,854 A show with just one character 6 00:00:42,856 --> 00:00:44,826 and an unlimited number of other characters? 7 00:00:44,828 --> 00:00:47,564 Peter, you can't just sit there and watch TV all day. 8 00:00:47,597 --> 00:00:49,834 - You have to mow the lawn. - Aw, this sucks. 9 00:00:49,867 --> 00:00:51,575 I was gonna go down to the Guitar Center 10 00:00:51,608 --> 00:00:52,715 and annoy people. 11 00:01:00,376 --> 00:01:04,429 FYI: My mom's not picking me up for a long time, because... 12 00:01:06,989 --> 00:01:08,360 she's dead! 13 00:01:11,921 --> 00:01:13,390 Hey, Brian, you want a beer? 14 00:01:13,424 --> 00:01:15,063 Peter, Lois is gonna be home soon. 15 00:01:15,095 --> 00:01:16,509 Shouldn't you be mowing the lawn? 16 00:01:16,542 --> 00:01:18,061 I am mowing the lawn. 17 00:01:20,657 --> 00:01:22,646 - Where'd you get these? - Craigslist. 18 00:01:22,679 --> 00:01:25,182 Boy, that's got to be some long list. 19 00:01:25,216 --> 00:01:27,886 And pool tables and jukeboxes... 20 00:01:27,919 --> 00:01:29,887 Craig, are you getting all this down? 21 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:31,389 Yes. Is that it? 22 00:01:31,422 --> 00:01:35,426 No! Futons, everyone's grandfather's golf clubs... 23 00:01:35,460 --> 00:01:36,560 I-Is that it? 24 00:01:36,594 --> 00:01:38,262 No! Gay sex... 25 00:01:38,295 --> 00:01:40,464 - What kind? - All of it! 26 00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:46,740 I have milked all the goats. 27 00:01:46,742 --> 00:01:48,745 Peter, all those goats are males. 28 00:01:48,747 --> 00:01:51,350 Well, the buckets are full and the goats are happy. 29 00:01:51,382 --> 00:01:53,584 I just hope word doesn't get around. 30 00:01:54,818 --> 00:01:56,855 I like good times. 31 00:02:00,525 --> 00:02:02,494 We now return to Top Gun 32 00:02:02,526 --> 00:02:04,495 with only public domain music. 33 00:02:13,203 --> 00:02:16,674 Oh, my God, what the hell did the goats do in here? 34 00:02:16,708 --> 00:02:18,175 This place is disgusting! 35 00:02:18,209 --> 00:02:19,544 Where's your father? 36 00:02:19,577 --> 00:02:20,713 Peter! 37 00:02:28,252 --> 00:02:30,321 Lois is maaaad. 38 00:02:30,354 --> 00:02:32,490 Go to the Claaaam. 39 00:02:32,524 --> 00:02:35,894 Peter, I both saw you and recognized my husband's voice. 40 00:02:35,926 --> 00:02:37,763 Go baaaack. 41 00:02:39,564 --> 00:02:41,365 Lois! I-I didn't know you were home. 42 00:02:41,399 --> 00:02:45,003 Well, I guess we can all agree this was a great idea. The end. 43 00:02:47,104 --> 00:02:49,340 Enough! My parents will be here any minute. 44 00:02:49,374 --> 00:02:51,342 You better get this house cleaned up. 45 00:02:51,376 --> 00:02:53,512 Don't worry, Lois. I have a Roomba. 46 00:02:56,981 --> 00:02:58,583 Okay, wait, wait, wait a minute. 47 00:02:58,615 --> 00:03:00,584 It'll... it'll figure it out. 48 00:03:00,618 --> 00:03:03,221 It's learning. That's-that's part of what it does. 49 00:03:03,253 --> 00:03:05,122 I think it's getting it. 50 00:03:05,156 --> 00:03:07,057 Now she's cookin'. 51 00:03:07,090 --> 00:03:09,293 Hang on to your hat. 52 00:03:09,327 --> 00:03:11,797 Clean floor dead ahead. 53 00:03:11,829 --> 00:03:13,697 Good purchase. 54 00:03:13,731 --> 00:03:15,699 Behold the future. 55 00:03:15,733 --> 00:03:17,269 All right, here it goes. 56 00:03:18,502 --> 00:03:19,870 And the battery's dead. 57 00:03:22,607 --> 00:03:24,776 Darling, so wonderful to be here. 58 00:03:24,809 --> 00:03:27,112 Yeah, right. The drive here is like 59 00:03:27,144 --> 00:03:29,780 a counterclockwise trip around the Monopoly board. 60 00:03:29,814 --> 00:03:32,316 He has no paaaants. 61 00:03:32,350 --> 00:03:34,186 Peter, get out of there. 62 00:03:35,953 --> 00:03:37,788 Lois, what's going on here? 63 00:03:37,822 --> 00:03:40,125 Well, I asked Peter to mow the lawn. 64 00:03:40,157 --> 00:03:42,281 Will somebody turn off Top Gun?! 65 00:03:43,345 --> 00:03:44,896 So obviously he bought a herd of goats, 66 00:03:44,929 --> 00:03:46,965 and now they've taken over the house. 67 00:03:46,997 --> 00:03:49,567 Lois, I worry this is not a healthy environment 68 00:03:49,601 --> 00:03:51,470 - for the children. - Mom, please. 69 00:03:51,502 --> 00:03:54,138 You know I would never put my children in harm's way. 70 00:03:54,172 --> 00:03:55,639 Oh, boy. AMBER Alert. 71 00:03:55,673 --> 00:03:58,509 Stewie was last seen with a goat in a '98 Toyota Tercel 72 00:03:58,543 --> 00:03:59,911 heading north on I-95. 73 00:03:59,943 --> 00:04:01,847 How do you turn those off, by the way? 74 00:04:01,879 --> 00:04:03,481 Lois, I've seen enough. 75 00:04:03,515 --> 00:04:06,918 You're completely overwhelmed, and you have four children. 76 00:04:06,951 --> 00:04:09,153 Four children. 77 00:04:09,186 --> 00:04:11,355 Four children. 78 00:04:11,388 --> 00:04:13,455 Four children. 79 00:04:13,488 --> 00:04:15,776 Four children. 80 00:04:15,809 --> 00:04:17,862 Four children. 81 00:04:17,895 --> 00:04:19,263 Hey! 82 00:04:19,297 --> 00:04:20,664 You need help, Lois. 83 00:04:20,698 --> 00:04:22,667 And since I don't believe in psychiatry, 84 00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:24,683 I'm getting you a nanny. 85 00:04:24,717 --> 00:04:26,371 Well, I guess it would be good to have some help 86 00:04:26,403 --> 00:04:27,463 with Meg and Chris. 87 00:04:27,497 --> 00:04:29,541 And Stewie, if he's ever found. 88 00:04:32,176 --> 00:04:34,446 Honey, do you think that's the goat and baby 89 00:04:34,479 --> 00:04:36,948 - from the AMBER alert? - Uh, it's a Tercel, 90 00:04:36,980 --> 00:04:39,584 but I don't think it's the right year. 91 00:04:46,758 --> 00:04:48,493 That must be the new nanny. 92 00:04:48,525 --> 00:04:50,494 Is this the Griffin house? 93 00:04:50,527 --> 00:04:52,898 Welcome to this work environment. 94 00:04:52,931 --> 00:04:55,300 Oh. I'm not the nanny. I'm her Uber driver. 95 00:04:55,333 --> 00:04:56,868 Your nanny's still in the car. 96 00:04:56,900 --> 00:04:58,669 She dozed off on the way here. 97 00:04:58,703 --> 00:05:00,672 I not doze off, Yoober. 98 00:05:00,705 --> 00:05:03,918 Was looking at crinkled photos of dead relatives. 99 00:05:03,950 --> 00:05:05,509 Hello. I am Natalia. 100 00:05:05,542 --> 00:05:07,745 What is favorite breakfast fish? 101 00:05:07,778 --> 00:05:09,880 Well, if you must know... 102 00:05:09,914 --> 00:05:13,252 Welcome to this work environment. 103 00:05:19,792 --> 00:05:21,427 Okay, Natalia, level with me. 104 00:05:21,460 --> 00:05:22,795 Why are you really here? 105 00:05:22,828 --> 00:05:25,865 I have been sent to neutralize liberal Jewish dissident, 106 00:05:25,898 --> 00:05:27,768 Fievel Mousekewitz. 107 00:05:29,802 --> 00:05:31,939 Oh. Well, the only mouse in this neighborhood is 108 00:05:31,972 --> 00:05:33,974 our innocent neighbor, Frank Maxwell. 109 00:05:35,307 --> 00:05:37,139 Comrade Mousekewitz! 110 00:05:37,172 --> 00:05:39,312 Did you think you could run forever? 111 00:05:39,345 --> 00:05:42,148 I, uh, I think you've got the wrong mouse. 112 00:05:42,182 --> 00:05:44,617 I'm just regular old Frank Maxwell, 113 00:05:44,650 --> 00:05:46,787 and I'm very late for work. 114 00:05:46,819 --> 00:05:48,321 Good day, ma'am. 115 00:05:50,523 --> 00:05:52,492 Whoa! You killed him? 116 00:05:52,525 --> 00:05:53,893 That was not me. 117 00:05:53,927 --> 00:05:55,796 Someone else got to him first. 118 00:05:56,795 --> 00:05:58,975 Tough break, Jew mouse. Ha-ha! 119 00:05:59,695 --> 00:06:00,967 Hi. I'm Peter Griffin. 120 00:06:01,001 --> 00:06:03,804 Under parody law, in order to use someone else's character 121 00:06:03,836 --> 00:06:06,105 in an unlicensed fashion, we have to provide 122 00:06:06,138 --> 00:06:07,674 something called "commentary." 123 00:06:07,706 --> 00:06:10,743 The commentary here is that Mickey Mouse hates Jews. 124 00:06:10,776 --> 00:06:14,614 Now, let's see what else this new nanny has up her sleeve. 125 00:06:18,552 --> 00:06:21,955 Okay, Stewie, this is favorite Belarusian children book 126 00:06:21,987 --> 00:06:25,291 called Goodnight Moon of Chernobyl. 127 00:06:25,324 --> 00:06:27,360 "Goodnight Chernobyl moon. 128 00:06:27,393 --> 00:06:30,017 Goodnight radiation house. 129 00:06:30,049 --> 00:06:32,165 Goodnight melted phone. 130 00:06:32,198 --> 00:06:34,434 Goodnight glowing milk. 131 00:06:34,467 --> 00:06:37,371 Goodnight bleeding grandpa's eyes. 132 00:06:37,403 --> 00:06:39,839 Goodnight two-headed cat. 133 00:06:39,872 --> 00:06:42,009 Goodnight nobody. 134 00:06:42,042 --> 00:06:45,946 Goodnight blocks and blocks and blocks of nobody. 135 00:06:45,978 --> 00:06:47,780 The end." 136 00:06:47,814 --> 00:06:49,383 Next book. 137 00:06:49,415 --> 00:06:51,184 Everybody Poops... 138 00:06:51,218 --> 00:06:52,987 Blood. 139 00:06:56,789 --> 00:06:58,926 I'll get started on dinner. 140 00:07:01,093 --> 00:07:02,562 No need to start dinner. 141 00:07:02,595 --> 00:07:04,897 Homework is done. Kids are fed. 142 00:07:04,930 --> 00:07:07,423 You two should go out and have lovely evening. 143 00:07:07,483 --> 00:07:10,620 - Together? - Yes. Everything taken care of. 144 00:07:10,652 --> 00:07:13,250 Go out. Enjoy American freedom. 145 00:07:13,283 --> 00:07:14,563 What do you say, Peter? 146 00:07:14,596 --> 00:07:16,792 Eh, it could be fun. And we haven't been on a date 147 00:07:16,825 --> 00:07:18,160 since I broke the Guinness record 148 00:07:18,193 --> 00:07:20,904 for longest nasal exhale at that Tina Fey movie. 149 00:07:20,938 --> 00:07:23,967 You're the baby mama? Well, that's no bueno. 150 00:07:39,015 --> 00:07:40,116 Hello. I'm Steve. 151 00:07:40,149 --> 00:07:41,651 I'll be your server this evening. 152 00:07:41,683 --> 00:07:43,323 May I start you off with a cocktail? 153 00:07:46,522 --> 00:07:47,923 You don't work here, do you? 154 00:07:47,957 --> 00:07:49,177 I do not. 155 00:07:49,858 --> 00:07:51,493 Oh, this is nice. 156 00:07:51,527 --> 00:07:53,163 So, how's work? 157 00:07:53,195 --> 00:07:54,664 Good. 158 00:07:56,366 --> 00:07:57,834 How, uh... 159 00:07:57,866 --> 00:08:00,102 how's the stuff you do during your day? 160 00:08:00,135 --> 00:08:01,804 - Good. - Good. 161 00:08:03,039 --> 00:08:04,673 So... is that it? 162 00:08:04,707 --> 00:08:07,344 Did we do a date? Phones back on? 163 00:08:07,377 --> 00:08:09,646 Peter, we finally have a chance to reconnect. 164 00:08:09,678 --> 00:08:11,214 We've been given this opportunity. 165 00:08:11,246 --> 00:08:12,815 It's like before we had kids. 166 00:08:12,849 --> 00:08:14,718 We got to make the most of it. 167 00:08:14,751 --> 00:08:16,052 H-Hang on, hang on, Lois. 168 00:08:16,084 --> 00:08:18,455 Give me two of those round balls of butter and a breadstick. 169 00:08:18,488 --> 00:08:19,888 You'll see where I'm heading with this. 170 00:08:19,921 --> 00:08:23,026 Okay, look, look, look. Here's what you want. 171 00:08:23,059 --> 00:08:25,028 Here's what you got. 172 00:08:25,060 --> 00:08:27,196 I'm very happy with what I got. 173 00:08:27,229 --> 00:08:31,091 Hmm. Well, maybe I can give you half a breadstick later. 174 00:08:31,124 --> 00:08:34,304 As long as you don't mind a little marinara dipping sauce. 175 00:08:34,336 --> 00:08:36,565 That's absolutely disgusting. 176 00:08:36,598 --> 00:08:37,873 And I love it. 177 00:08:37,906 --> 00:08:40,377 You know what? I like date night. 178 00:08:40,410 --> 00:08:42,546 To Natalia, for making it possible. 179 00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:45,682 Pretty sure that's Steve's pee. 180 00:08:45,714 --> 00:08:47,340 Enjoying your wine? 181 00:08:52,955 --> 00:08:55,227 Oh, what an amazing night. 182 00:08:55,259 --> 00:08:58,227 I told you we could have a fun time, just the two of us. 183 00:08:58,261 --> 00:09:00,230 Fun's not over yet. 184 00:09:01,945 --> 00:09:03,432 Come on, let's get in the trunk. 185 00:09:03,465 --> 00:09:06,402 I filled it with water so we can do it hippo-style. 186 00:09:06,435 --> 00:09:07,737 Weightlessly, 187 00:09:07,770 --> 00:09:10,406 with my feet lightly scraping the bottom as we do it. 188 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:12,709 Okay. It's kind of sexy, I guess. 189 00:09:12,742 --> 00:09:14,577 And in the hippo tradition, 190 00:09:14,609 --> 00:09:16,912 first we must eat a whole head of lettuce. 191 00:09:16,945 --> 00:09:20,783 - Now, do you have the lettuce? - I-I didn't know we were doing this. 192 00:09:20,816 --> 00:09:22,418 Did you bring the lettuce? 193 00:09:22,451 --> 00:09:23,753 Oh, no, I forgot. 194 00:09:23,786 --> 00:09:25,921 Ronald, I asked you to do one thing. 195 00:09:25,955 --> 00:09:28,458 Honey, honey... I brought the lettuce. 196 00:09:33,662 --> 00:09:35,063 So thanks to Natalia, 197 00:09:35,097 --> 00:09:37,267 we've been spending so much more time together. 198 00:09:37,300 --> 00:09:39,736 Let me tell you, Joe, it's really been a rediscovery. 199 00:09:39,768 --> 00:09:41,811 - Hmm. - Joe, "we time" 200 00:09:41,845 --> 00:09:44,681 - is just as important as "me time." - Okay. 201 00:09:44,775 --> 00:09:47,042 We've actually been watching The Middle together. 202 00:09:47,075 --> 00:09:50,088 It's so funny! Isn't it funny, Peter? 203 00:09:50,121 --> 00:09:52,114 It is actually funny. At least three times an episode 204 00:09:52,147 --> 00:09:54,117 we turn to each other and we say, 205 00:09:54,150 --> 00:09:55,819 "That's just like us!" 206 00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:58,655 Why are you laughing? 207 00:09:58,687 --> 00:10:01,156 - It sounded funny. - But you had to be there. 208 00:10:01,190 --> 00:10:03,493 Well, I was able to imagine myself there, 209 00:10:03,526 --> 00:10:05,228 which is why I chuckled. 210 00:10:05,261 --> 00:10:07,564 Oh, and, Donna, have you seen this Black-ish? 211 00:10:07,597 --> 00:10:09,632 - Why are you asking me that? - I don't know. 212 00:10:09,665 --> 00:10:11,733 It seems like you might like it. 213 00:10:11,767 --> 00:10:15,011 Oh, and, waiter, have you seen this Fresh Off the Boat? 214 00:10:15,044 --> 00:10:16,940 - Why are you asking me that? - I don't know. 215 00:10:16,973 --> 00:10:18,641 It seems like you might like it. 216 00:10:18,674 --> 00:10:19,843 Oh, there's Mort. Mort! 217 00:10:19,876 --> 00:10:22,312 Have you seen this The Goldbergs? 218 00:10:22,344 --> 00:10:24,733 Yes! I like it 'cause I'm Jewish. 219 00:10:27,883 --> 00:10:30,905 Boy, our friends all seem to be happily married. 220 00:10:31,854 --> 00:10:33,790 Yeah, right. 221 00:10:33,823 --> 00:10:35,458 You know, Donna told me in the bathroom 222 00:10:35,490 --> 00:10:37,159 she and Cleveland haven't had sex 223 00:10:37,192 --> 00:10:38,327 in over three months. 224 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:39,528 I love that you share things 225 00:10:39,561 --> 00:10:41,263 that were told to you in confidence. 226 00:10:41,296 --> 00:10:43,766 - Oh, and the poor Swansons. - I know. 227 00:10:43,799 --> 00:10:45,268 Joe's dead from the waist down, 228 00:10:45,301 --> 00:10:46,835 and Bonnie's dead from the waist up. 229 00:10:46,868 --> 00:10:48,204 They're perfect for each other. 230 00:10:48,237 --> 00:10:50,707 I know, I know. 231 00:10:50,739 --> 00:10:52,674 I got to say, Peter, I really feel like 232 00:10:52,708 --> 00:10:54,511 Natalia has helped put the spark back 233 00:10:54,544 --> 00:10:55,979 in our relationship. 234 00:10:56,012 --> 00:10:58,387 Yeah, we even had independent movie sex. 235 00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:02,451 I want to lean over this half-eaten blueberry pie 236 00:11:02,484 --> 00:11:04,686 and kiss you with black coffee breath. 237 00:11:04,719 --> 00:11:06,374 - Is that okay? - Yes. 238 00:11:09,892 --> 00:11:12,295 Now, can I do you to a song you know, 239 00:11:12,328 --> 00:11:13,730 but sung in German? 240 00:11:28,076 --> 00:11:31,513 Hello? I see. 241 00:11:31,546 --> 00:11:32,796 What is it? 242 00:11:32,829 --> 00:11:34,610 I've been assassinated. 243 00:11:44,093 --> 00:11:46,029 Wow, what a night. 244 00:11:46,061 --> 00:11:49,331 I guess someone's sleep number is 69. 245 00:11:49,364 --> 00:11:52,734 Uh, yes. It was, apparently, also number two. 246 00:11:52,767 --> 00:11:55,186 Would you maybe make some coffee and give me a moment? 247 00:11:56,104 --> 00:11:58,340 Car is packed for weekend. 248 00:11:58,373 --> 00:11:59,676 - Weekend? - Yes. 249 00:11:59,709 --> 00:12:01,344 You come in late last night drunk 250 00:12:01,377 --> 00:12:03,880 and tell me to pack car for weekend getaway 251 00:12:03,912 --> 00:12:05,181 you book online. 252 00:12:05,214 --> 00:12:08,184 Then you make me watch Diff'rent Strokes episode 253 00:12:08,216 --> 00:12:11,856 with substitute teacher played by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. 254 00:12:12,588 --> 00:12:14,457 You know, I forgot about this weekend trip. 255 00:12:14,489 --> 00:12:16,426 I-Is that something we still want to do? 256 00:12:16,459 --> 00:12:17,960 Well, I do if you do. 257 00:12:17,993 --> 00:12:20,195 Absolutely I do... I-I was just seeing if you do. 258 00:12:20,229 --> 00:12:21,797 Of course I do. 259 00:12:21,830 --> 00:12:24,399 I mean, we've already had six nights out together. 260 00:12:24,432 --> 00:12:26,397 It'd be great to have three more. 261 00:12:26,430 --> 00:12:27,436 That's what I'm saying. 262 00:12:27,469 --> 00:12:28,971 That-That's what any guy wants, 263 00:12:29,004 --> 00:12:31,740 the same gal again and again and again 264 00:12:31,773 --> 00:12:34,109 and again and again and again and again 265 00:12:34,142 --> 00:12:36,613 and again and again and again and again 266 00:12:36,646 --> 00:12:38,548 and again and again, and again. 267 00:12:38,580 --> 00:12:40,916 And every gal wants the same guy who keeps 268 00:12:40,950 --> 00:12:43,585 getting fatter and fatter and fatter and fatter... 269 00:12:43,618 --> 00:12:45,421 Stop it right there, Lois. This is Family Guy. 270 00:12:45,454 --> 00:12:47,489 We only do the male side of the joke. 271 00:12:48,465 --> 00:12:51,227 You know what? I think this weekend will be fun. 272 00:12:51,259 --> 00:12:52,594 Yeah. I mean, it's not like we're gonna 273 00:12:52,628 --> 00:12:54,129 miss anything around here. 274 00:12:58,533 --> 00:13:00,068 Hey, Joe, what the hell's going on here? 275 00:13:00,102 --> 00:13:02,271 Oh, you didn't hear? Today is the opening 276 00:13:02,304 --> 00:13:05,440 of the first-ever Spooner Street Farmers Market. 277 00:13:05,474 --> 00:13:08,110 Farmers... 278 00:13:08,143 --> 00:13:10,812 market? 279 00:13:10,845 --> 00:13:12,481 Yeah, it's really exciting. 280 00:13:12,514 --> 00:13:14,616 For 50 cents, you can get your picture taken 281 00:13:14,650 --> 00:13:16,319 wearing a farmer's hat. 282 00:13:16,352 --> 00:13:19,322 Farmer's... 283 00:13:19,354 --> 00:13:21,690 hat? 284 00:13:21,724 --> 00:13:23,660 Hey, have a great weekend, you two. 285 00:13:23,692 --> 00:13:27,029 So glad you're finding time for each other. 286 00:13:30,733 --> 00:13:32,001 Goat meat. 287 00:13:32,033 --> 00:13:33,669 Get your goat meat here. 288 00:13:33,703 --> 00:13:35,171 - Cleveland, are those... - Yep. 289 00:13:35,204 --> 00:13:37,006 I have dibs on whatever silliness 290 00:13:37,038 --> 00:13:38,707 Peter loses interest in. 291 00:13:38,740 --> 00:13:39,875 Remember this? 292 00:13:39,908 --> 00:13:42,044 To the Cleveland copter! 293 00:13:44,012 --> 00:13:46,114 The moustache obscures my view! 294 00:13:55,532 --> 00:13:56,934 Oh, another hawk. 295 00:13:56,968 --> 00:13:58,303 Or maybe it's the same one. 296 00:13:58,336 --> 00:13:59,804 You think it could be the same one? 297 00:13:59,837 --> 00:14:00,892 Doubt it. 298 00:14:01,705 --> 00:14:02,973 Hey, do you have the address? 299 00:14:03,006 --> 00:14:04,809 I think it's in my pocketbook somewhere. 300 00:14:04,842 --> 00:14:07,345 'Cause I got to know if we should take 24 or 495. 301 00:14:07,377 --> 00:14:08,723 Hang on. 302 00:14:09,847 --> 00:14:11,876 - Anything? - Hang on. 303 00:14:12,919 --> 00:14:14,253 Exit's coming up. 304 00:14:15,386 --> 00:14:16,814 Half a mile. 305 00:14:19,490 --> 00:14:20,859 Quarter mile. 306 00:14:20,891 --> 00:14:22,160 You'd think I could find it. 307 00:14:22,193 --> 00:14:23,528 Yeah, yeah, I would. 308 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:26,296 I would. Okay, I'm taking 495. 309 00:14:26,329 --> 00:14:28,432 Okay, uh, here, let me see if it's... 310 00:14:28,466 --> 00:14:31,503 Oh, this is why I don't like big purses. 311 00:14:31,535 --> 00:14:34,972 Here it is. It says take 24 to 128. 312 00:14:55,559 --> 00:14:56,895 Hey, look, cookies. 313 00:14:56,928 --> 00:14:58,697 - Chocolate chip? - Oatmeal raisin. 314 00:15:00,363 --> 00:15:03,734 Ah, I guess they stopped serving dinner at 9:30. 315 00:15:03,767 --> 00:15:06,336 Looks like that missed exit had the last laugh. 316 00:15:06,370 --> 00:15:07,639 Oh, look at this cute note. 317 00:15:07,671 --> 00:15:08,872 "In lieu of television, 318 00:15:08,905 --> 00:15:10,974 please tune in to each other." 319 00:15:11,007 --> 00:15:14,244 - Ha-ha. - Ha-ha, indeed. And get this. 320 00:15:14,277 --> 00:15:16,380 "Sorry no Wi-Fi, but the good news is 321 00:15:16,414 --> 00:15:18,183 your marriage has four bars." 322 00:15:18,216 --> 00:15:20,584 - Terrific. - Oh, here's another note. 323 00:15:20,617 --> 00:15:22,753 "How adorable were those first two notes? 324 00:15:22,786 --> 00:15:24,488 I hope you read this one third." 325 00:15:24,521 --> 00:15:26,724 There's a used condom in the fireplace. 326 00:15:26,757 --> 00:15:28,192 And the fireplace is decorative, 327 00:15:28,226 --> 00:15:29,394 so that's here to stay. 328 00:15:29,426 --> 00:15:30,894 So, do you think word just got out 329 00:15:30,928 --> 00:15:32,497 in the daddy longlegs community, like, 330 00:15:32,530 --> 00:15:33,898 "Hey, come to this hotel"? 331 00:15:33,930 --> 00:15:35,365 Peter, it's a little warm in here. 332 00:15:35,399 --> 00:15:37,702 Do you want to turn on that overhead ceiling fan? 333 00:15:37,735 --> 00:15:38,870 Sure. Looks stable. 334 00:15:41,939 --> 00:15:43,742 - Can you notice that? - Yeah. 335 00:15:43,775 --> 00:15:45,944 Can you notice anything in the world other than that? 336 00:15:45,977 --> 00:15:49,213 Only that fist-sized moth in the lampshade by the bed. 337 00:15:49,247 --> 00:15:52,284 I'm going to bed so that "go home time" comes faster. 338 00:16:03,345 --> 00:16:05,416 I'll just sleep with the light on. 339 00:16:10,767 --> 00:16:13,271 Natalia, will you be our nanny forever? 340 00:16:13,304 --> 00:16:15,472 Dah, unless Belarus security force 341 00:16:15,506 --> 00:16:17,608 - track me down. - I'm sorry, what? 342 00:16:17,641 --> 00:16:19,444 Natalia make a few enemies 343 00:16:19,477 --> 00:16:21,747 before she leave Belarus. 344 00:16:29,420 --> 00:16:32,156 Natalia save baby. 345 00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:38,630 - Brian? - Lock door. 346 00:16:38,663 --> 00:16:39,664 Why would I... 347 00:16:39,697 --> 00:16:40,999 Brian! 348 00:16:44,501 --> 00:16:46,004 No kissing. Under bed. 349 00:16:55,779 --> 00:16:59,016 Aah! 350 00:17:03,321 --> 00:17:04,823 Out. 351 00:17:07,557 --> 00:17:08,826 Boy, that was a close one. 352 00:17:08,860 --> 00:17:10,862 Ah, my son was in the backseat. 353 00:17:59,276 --> 00:18:00,578 Daddy? 354 00:18:09,887 --> 00:18:11,054 Where are we going? 355 00:18:11,087 --> 00:18:12,489 You're going home. 356 00:18:12,523 --> 00:18:14,393 Count to three and pull cord. 357 00:18:16,593 --> 00:18:19,698 I don't know my numbers! 358 00:18:26,984 --> 00:18:28,691 Again! Again! 359 00:18:37,281 --> 00:18:39,183 - Oh. This. - What? 360 00:18:39,216 --> 00:18:40,718 That mealy-mouth thing you do. 361 00:18:40,750 --> 00:18:41,852 Take a sip of water. 362 00:18:41,885 --> 00:18:43,520 I don't like water. I like pop. 363 00:18:43,554 --> 00:18:45,122 Hey, will you let me know when you're done 364 00:18:45,156 --> 00:18:46,758 using the phone charger that I brought? 365 00:18:46,791 --> 00:18:48,426 Oh, you mean the only thing that you packed? 366 00:18:48,458 --> 00:18:50,093 Yeah, I just assumed if you pay, 367 00:18:50,127 --> 00:18:51,763 - you don't have to pack. - Here we go. 368 00:18:51,795 --> 00:18:53,096 My husband, the Rockefeller, 369 00:18:53,130 --> 00:18:55,099 letting my parents pay for the nanny. 370 00:18:55,131 --> 00:18:56,601 Kids still lining up around the block 371 00:18:56,633 --> 00:18:57,901 for those piano lessons? 372 00:18:57,935 --> 00:18:59,437 I wonder which has more clutter on it, 373 00:18:59,469 --> 00:19:00,737 the piano or your treadmill. 374 00:19:00,770 --> 00:19:02,139 You know what? I'm gonna go with the treadmill. 375 00:19:02,172 --> 00:19:04,741 Really? Let's go knock on the door of the next room 376 00:19:04,775 --> 00:19:06,576 and ask them which one of us is fat. 377 00:19:06,610 --> 00:19:08,913 Oh, I'm so sorry I'm not Bradley Hooper. 378 00:19:08,946 --> 00:19:10,214 It's Cooper, not Hooper. 379 00:19:10,247 --> 00:19:12,382 You're thinking of Mr. Hooper from Sesame Street, 380 00:19:12,416 --> 00:19:13,718 and I'd sooner bang him. 381 00:19:13,750 --> 00:19:16,153 He was a business owner. He was a successful man. 382 00:19:16,187 --> 00:19:18,055 You think you're the only one in this relationship 383 00:19:18,089 --> 00:19:19,657 who wants to be with a successful man? 384 00:19:19,689 --> 00:19:20,700 Get over yourself. 385 00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:22,160 Oh, hey, do you want these spit droplets back, 386 00:19:22,192 --> 00:19:23,460 Or are they for my arm to keep? 387 00:19:23,494 --> 00:19:25,763 Sorry, I was trying to scare that fly on your hand. 388 00:19:25,795 --> 00:19:27,164 Oh, it's a liver spot. Never mind. 389 00:19:27,198 --> 00:19:29,683 I'm hoping it's cancer. I want the ticket out. 390 00:19:29,716 --> 00:19:31,669 Oh, if you die, can I have all of your nothing? 391 00:19:31,701 --> 00:19:33,136 What do you mean if I die? 392 00:19:33,170 --> 00:19:35,506 I've been dead since the minute I said "I do"! 393 00:19:35,538 --> 00:19:36,974 Well, the minute you say "I don't," 394 00:19:37,007 --> 00:19:38,241 I am out that door. 395 00:19:38,275 --> 00:19:40,844 - Oh, is that right? - Yep. 396 00:19:40,878 --> 00:19:43,147 Well, what if I just said, "The hell with it, go"? 397 00:19:43,179 --> 00:19:44,331 What if you did? 398 00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:46,984 Go. 399 00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:48,712 Fine! 400 00:20:43,073 --> 00:20:44,676 So, how was the trip? 401 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:52,706 Sync and corrections by btsix www.addic7ed.com 402 00:20:53,083 --> 00:20:54,119 Just terrible.