1
00:00:00,543 --> 00:00:02,132
And I believe that's all I've got.

2
00:00:02,168 --> 00:00:04,013
Oh, wait, there's one more thing.

3
00:00:04,048 --> 00:00:06,218
Peralta gave me a note
before the meeting.

4
00:00:07,785 --> 00:00:11,387
Ugh, the penmanship is horrid,
but I think it says,

5
00:00:11,422 --> 00:00:13,523
"Ask if anyone has an anal mint."

6
00:00:13,558 --> 00:00:15,425
It's announcements, and we do.

7
00:00:15,461 --> 00:00:16,826
Wow, what an entrance.

8
00:00:16,862 --> 00:00:19,015
Amy and I have some big news to share.

9
00:00:19,897 --> 00:00:22,031
- I'm pregnant.
- We're pregnant!

10
00:00:22,066 --> 00:00:23,866
- Wow, I can't believe it.
- Congratulations.

11
00:00:23,901 --> 00:00:24,833
What a surprise.

12
00:00:24,869 --> 00:00:26,892
What the hell? I thought you guys
would be more excited than that.

13
00:00:26,928 --> 00:00:27,980
Charles, you didn't even faint.

14
00:00:28,016 --> 00:00:30,317
I'm so sorry, I'll try.

15
00:00:31,175 --> 00:00:32,708
It's not working. Somebody choke me.

16
00:00:32,743 --> 00:00:33,742
- On it.
- Rosa.

17
00:00:33,778 --> 00:00:35,644
Sorry, we're so happy for you,

18
00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:37,913
but we also maybe, kind of already knew.

19
00:00:37,948 --> 00:00:39,567
I mean, you didn't do
the best job of hiding it.

20
00:00:39,784 --> 00:00:42,651
Why have you been carrying
that box around so much?

21
00:00:42,687 --> 00:00:43,832
I just love this box.

22
00:00:44,088 --> 00:00:45,554
Why are you reading that newspaper?

23
00:00:45,589 --> 00:00:47,028
- It's two days old.
- I just love this issue.

24
00:00:47,338 --> 00:00:48,632
Hey, why are you wearing
that Hazmat suit?

25
00:00:48,710 --> 00:00:49,892
I just love this look.

26
00:00:50,103 --> 00:00:51,993
Okay, fine, so you all
knew we were pregnant.

27
00:00:52,028 --> 00:00:53,761
Good for you.
But I bet you didn't figure out

28
00:00:53,797 --> 00:00:55,596
that we're having twins.

29
00:00:57,500 --> 00:00:58,933
No, not really. It's one baby.

30
00:00:58,968 --> 00:01:00,365
I just needed to see Charles faint.

31
00:01:13,905 --> 00:01:17,905
Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.addic7ed.com

32
00:01:20,724 --> 00:01:21,923
Aw, Jake.

33
00:01:22,058 --> 00:01:24,758
I am excited that you're having a kid.

34
00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:26,363
Thank you, Dad.
Oh, and hey, if you're free

35
00:01:26,399 --> 00:01:27,932
next Friday, we're having
a sex reveal party.

36
00:01:27,968 --> 00:01:29,701
Well, I went to one
of those in Amsterdam.

37
00:01:29,737 --> 00:01:31,704
I would not invite relatives.

38
00:01:31,740 --> 00:01:32,973
What? No, no, no.

39
00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:35,325
It's a party where we find out
the biological sex of the baby

40
00:01:35,361 --> 00:01:36,402
in a surprising way.

41
00:01:36,438 --> 00:01:37,971
You better hope you're having a girl.

42
00:01:38,006 --> 00:01:40,425
Peralta fathers do not
get along with sons.

43
00:01:40,461 --> 00:01:41,600
What? That's not true.

44
00:01:41,636 --> 00:01:43,431
I mean, look at us.
We're doing better than ever.

45
00:01:43,601 --> 00:01:45,467
This year, you even remembered
my birthday month.

46
00:01:45,503 --> 00:01:47,302
Things are good now, but honestly,

47
00:01:47,338 --> 00:01:50,149
- it's probably just a blip.
- Well, that's fun to hear.

48
00:01:50,185 --> 00:01:51,684
Well, that's just the way it is.

49
00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:52,766
It's the family curse.

50
00:01:52,802 --> 00:01:55,222
I haven't talked to my father
since you were 10.

51
00:01:55,257 --> 00:01:57,690
His dad abandoned him
at the World's Fair.

52
00:01:57,726 --> 00:02:02,229
His dad fled to America after
drowning his dad in a well.

53
00:02:02,264 --> 00:02:03,262
Oh, my God.

54
00:02:03,488 --> 00:02:06,132
Okay, so yes, fine,
there's a bit of a trend.

55
00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:07,967
But we're not cursed.
You and I are good.

56
00:02:08,002 --> 00:02:09,754
I bet you could even
fix things up with your dad.

57
00:02:09,790 --> 00:02:10,856
The Admiral?

58
00:02:10,892 --> 00:02:13,205
I always hoped that I could
reconcile things with him

59
00:02:13,241 --> 00:02:14,891
one day, but he's not
going to let that happen.

60
00:02:14,927 --> 00:02:17,693
What can I tell you?
We're not meant to have sons.

61
00:02:18,012 --> 00:02:19,979
There's a demon in our genes.

62
00:02:20,014 --> 00:02:22,681
- Title of your sex tape.
- No, the title of my sex tape

63
00:02:22,716 --> 00:02:25,151
is "Cockpit Larry and
the Mile High Stewardae."

64
00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:26,252
- What?
- "Stewardae."

65
00:02:26,287 --> 00:02:28,254
It's plural for stewardess.

66
00:02:28,289 --> 00:02:29,255
Okay.

67
00:02:29,290 --> 00:02:30,783
ADA Kurm, how are you?

68
00:02:30,819 --> 00:02:33,659
Do you want the real answer,
about how my wife's leaving me,

69
00:02:33,694 --> 00:02:35,778
or do you just want me to say,
"Good, how are you?"

70
00:02:35,814 --> 00:02:37,129
Well... The latter?

71
00:02:37,165 --> 00:02:38,935
- Good, how are you?
- We're fine; why are you here?

72
00:02:38,971 --> 00:02:41,032
You know that Carroll Street
Brownstone B&E?

73
00:02:41,067 --> 00:02:43,067
Yeah, broken windows, swiped an old TV.

74
00:02:43,103 --> 00:02:44,869
The house belongs
to a friend of the mayor's.

75
00:02:44,905 --> 00:02:48,273
Oh, I didn't realize
the case was a priority.

76
00:02:48,309 --> 00:02:49,741
I'll check into it right away.

77
00:02:49,777 --> 00:02:51,510
Great, call me as soon
as you have anything.

78
00:02:51,545 --> 00:02:53,166
Yeah. Will do.

79
00:02:53,980 --> 00:02:55,947
Oh, God, what a nightmare.

80
00:02:55,982 --> 00:02:57,015
Agreed. Dude's a mess.

81
00:02:57,050 --> 00:02:58,016
You know he's only 24?

82
00:02:58,051 --> 00:02:59,184
No, the Carroll Street case.

83
00:02:59,219 --> 00:03:01,361
I didn't realize that the mayor
was interested in it,

84
00:03:01,722 --> 00:03:04,012
and I think I did something bad.

85
00:03:04,291 --> 00:03:06,792
You gave Hitchcock and Scully
an important case?

86
00:03:09,596 --> 00:03:11,196
Okay, here's the cake.

87
00:03:11,231 --> 00:03:12,625
If it's pink on the inside, it's a girl.

88
00:03:12,661 --> 00:03:13,667
And if it's blue, it's a boy.

89
00:03:13,703 --> 00:03:14,899
And why do you seem so bummed by that?

90
00:03:14,935 --> 00:03:17,067
Because I still think you
should have done the pig roast,

91
00:03:17,103 --> 00:03:18,624
where we start eating it from the snout,

92
00:03:18,660 --> 00:03:20,548
and discover the baby's sex
when we get to the genitals.

93
00:03:20,584 --> 00:03:22,183
Yeah, you know,
Amy wanted to do that too,

94
00:03:22,219 --> 00:03:23,533
- but I just don't see it.
- Hmm.

95
00:03:23,569 --> 00:03:24,569
I'm getting a text.

96
00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:26,671
Ooh. "I will see you soon, sir."

97
00:03:26,996 --> 00:03:28,596
- Guess who that was.
- Elton John.

98
00:03:28,632 --> 00:03:30,329
- What?
- You said "sir," and that's on you.

99
00:03:30,365 --> 00:03:32,229
No, it was my grandfather, the Admiral.

100
00:03:32,338 --> 00:03:33,426
Whoa, you tracked him down?

101
00:03:33,462 --> 00:03:35,096
Yup, he's on his way
to my apartment right now.

102
00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:36,888
I'm going to fix
his relationship with my dad.

103
00:03:36,923 --> 00:03:37,922
It's going to be very emotional.

104
00:03:37,958 --> 00:03:38,882
It's going to be so dramatic.

105
00:03:38,918 --> 00:03:40,752
- You should be producing for Ellen.
- Do you really think so?

106
00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:42,293
'Cause I actually have
another idea for a segment

107
00:03:42,329 --> 00:03:44,095
where Ellen turns your home
into a haunted house.

108
00:03:44,130 --> 00:03:46,730
I call it "Extreme Makeover:
Bone Edition."

109
00:03:49,399 --> 00:03:51,335
But you know, I...
I don't have to do it.

110
00:03:51,371 --> 00:03:52,834
- I like being a cop.
- And you're so good at it.

111
00:03:52,870 --> 00:03:54,170
Yeah, okay, I'm going
to go meet my grandpa.

112
00:03:54,206 --> 00:03:55,205
Yup.

113
00:03:57,844 --> 00:04:00,244
Ooh, fun! Terry's playing the flute.

114
00:04:00,279 --> 00:04:02,813
At work. Who are you, William Wonka?

115
00:04:03,003 --> 00:04:04,682
No, this is police business.

116
00:04:04,717 --> 00:04:07,084
The flautist for the NYPD band retired,

117
00:04:07,119 --> 00:04:09,086
and I'm going to audition
to take her spot.

118
00:04:09,121 --> 00:04:11,756
Captain Holt, you love music.
Can you give me some pointers?

119
00:04:11,791 --> 00:04:14,348
I'd rather not.
The music they play is dreck.

120
00:04:14,542 --> 00:04:16,041
Last month, they performed Sousa

121
00:04:16,140 --> 00:04:17,591
at a fallen officer's funeral.

122
00:04:17,627 --> 00:04:19,861
And the people were
so appalled, they cried.

123
00:04:20,065 --> 00:04:21,480
Or they were crying for the deceased.

124
00:04:21,633 --> 00:04:22,832
No, she was very unpopular.

125
00:04:22,868 --> 00:04:25,635
The band made them cry.

126
00:04:25,670 --> 00:04:27,371
Suffice it to say,
I don't respect what they do,

127
00:04:27,406 --> 00:04:28,838
so I wouldn't be the right teacher.

128
00:04:28,874 --> 00:04:29,907
I'm sorry.

129
00:04:32,634 --> 00:04:33,850
Hey, Grandpa.

130
00:04:34,079 --> 00:04:35,445
- Attention!
- Oh.

131
00:04:36,315 --> 00:04:38,315
At ease. Just pulling your leg.

132
00:04:38,350 --> 00:04:40,784
I'm your grandfather,
not your commanding officer.

133
00:04:40,819 --> 00:04:41,715
- Now, come on.
- Aw.

134
00:04:41,751 --> 00:04:43,287
- Give me a handshake.
- Okay.

135
00:04:43,323 --> 00:04:44,409
Right, come on in.

136
00:04:45,815 --> 00:04:48,657
Wow, it's really been
quite a while, huh?

137
00:04:48,692 --> 00:04:49,959
- Yeah.
- Are you still watching

138
00:04:49,994 --> 00:04:51,894
those cartoons about the karate lizards?

139
00:04:52,306 --> 00:04:54,063
The "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"?

140
00:04:54,098 --> 00:04:56,132
I am. There was recently a reboot.

141
00:04:56,167 --> 00:04:57,333
They did some interesting things

142
00:04:57,368 --> 00:04:58,764
with Splinter and Krang's backstories.

143
00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:00,133
Anyways, I'm an adult now. How are you?

144
00:05:00,169 --> 00:05:02,441
Oh, me? Well, I guess I'm...

145
00:05:07,345 --> 00:05:08,978
- Grandpa?
- What?

146
00:05:09,013 --> 00:05:10,246
Oh, I was just asking how you were.

147
00:05:10,281 --> 00:05:12,039
- Oh, sharp as ever.
- Yeah.

148
00:05:12,075 --> 00:05:13,641
I'm so glad you reached out to me.

149
00:05:13,677 --> 00:05:15,911
Same, you know, now that
I'm having a baby of my own,

150
00:05:15,947 --> 00:05:17,680
I've started to realize how important

151
00:05:17,716 --> 00:05:19,984
father/son/grandfather
relationships really are.

152
00:05:20,191 --> 00:05:23,058
Which reminds me, my dad is also coming.

153
00:05:23,093 --> 00:05:25,160
He is? I'm surprised
he wanted to see me.

154
00:05:25,195 --> 00:05:27,895
Well, he doesn't exactly
know you're here.

155
00:05:27,931 --> 00:05:29,984
I thought it might be cool
to surprise both of you.

156
00:05:30,091 --> 00:05:32,225
You know who else
thought surprises were cool?

157
00:05:32,552 --> 00:05:35,770
Admiral Yamamoto, and we all
know what happened then, huh?

158
00:05:35,805 --> 00:05:36,838
- We do?
- Pearl Harbor.

159
00:05:36,873 --> 00:05:39,007
Pearl Harbor, right.
Some surprises can be bad.

160
00:05:39,042 --> 00:05:40,948
But this one's not gonna be.
This one's gonna be good,

161
00:05:40,984 --> 00:05:42,177
- just like...
- The Battle of Midway.

162
00:05:42,212 --> 00:05:43,678
The Bimble of Durbay. Yup.

163
00:05:43,713 --> 00:05:44,779
We both said the same
thing at the same time.

164
00:05:44,814 --> 00:05:46,081
Oh, that's my Dad.

165
00:05:46,116 --> 00:05:47,135
This is going to be amazing.

166
00:05:47,986 --> 00:05:50,020
- Hey, Jakey.
- Roger Peralta.

167
00:05:50,220 --> 00:05:51,853
Prepare to hug and cry.

168
00:05:51,888 --> 00:05:54,072
This is your father.

169
00:05:55,258 --> 00:05:58,226
Dad, you son of a bitch.

170
00:05:58,261 --> 00:06:00,332
Uh-oh. Ow!

171
00:06:01,765 --> 00:06:04,254
I can't believe you hit me.

172
00:06:04,375 --> 00:06:05,307
I'm sorry.

173
00:06:05,343 --> 00:06:07,510
My face is throbbing. Hey, "Dino Bites."

174
00:06:07,672 --> 00:06:09,038
What the hell is my father doing here?

175
00:06:09,074 --> 00:06:10,773
You said you wanted to reconcile.

176
00:06:10,809 --> 00:06:12,474
I meant after he was dead.

177
00:06:12,510 --> 00:06:14,004
I planned on standing over his grave

178
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,605
and yelling, "I forgive you."

179
00:06:15,641 --> 00:06:17,607
Well, you may get the chance
sooner than you think.

180
00:06:17,643 --> 00:06:19,509
He keeps trailing off
and staring into space.

181
00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:21,845
That's his old trick.

182
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:23,508
Whenever he doesn't want
to talk about something,

183
00:06:23,544 --> 00:06:25,176
he does that. The old bastard.

184
00:06:25,484 --> 00:06:27,017
Look, I know you don't like him,

185
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:29,936
but can you at least
try to be nice for me?

186
00:06:30,690 --> 00:06:31,820
Okay.

187
00:06:32,825 --> 00:06:33,857
I'll be nice.

188
00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:36,459
I wish you were dead,
you lousy son of a bitch!

189
00:06:36,495 --> 00:06:37,746
You said you were gonna be nice.

190
00:06:37,832 --> 00:06:40,029
I lied so I could say
the "son of a bitch" thing.

191
00:06:40,065 --> 00:06:41,098
- Dad!
- Okay.

192
00:06:41,533 --> 00:06:45,001
Your grandson would like us
to make peace.

193
00:06:45,036 --> 00:06:47,870
So, do you apologize
for being the worst father

194
00:06:47,906 --> 00:06:48,980
in the history in the world?

195
00:06:49,016 --> 00:06:51,608
Even worse than fathers who
chain their children in basements?

196
00:06:51,643 --> 00:06:53,677
- I do not.
- That's on him. I tried.

197
00:06:53,712 --> 00:06:55,712
- I really don't think you did.
- Jake, you don't get it.

198
00:06:55,747 --> 00:06:56,979
He's a heartless jerk.

199
00:06:57,015 --> 00:06:58,315
When I was in high school,
I almost died.

200
00:06:58,350 --> 00:06:59,982
He didn't even visit me in the hospital.

201
00:07:00,018 --> 00:07:01,851
Okay, so maybe start by asking him

202
00:07:01,886 --> 00:07:03,019
to apologize for that.

203
00:07:03,054 --> 00:07:06,602
No, he should apologize to me
for being in the hospital.

204
00:07:06,758 --> 00:07:08,105
I'm starting to see
the heartless thing now.

205
00:07:08,141 --> 00:07:11,415
Growing up, he had a boat.
Meant everything to him.

206
00:07:11,451 --> 00:07:13,484
He named it "Walter," after himself.

207
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,053
She was the child I never had.

208
00:07:15,089 --> 00:07:17,322
I was the child you did have.

209
00:07:17,435 --> 00:07:19,836
Anyway, one day I took
Walter Junior out for a spin.

210
00:07:19,871 --> 00:07:22,504
I was trying to impress
one of the lake girls.

211
00:07:22,540 --> 00:07:25,007
Before I met your mom, I was
a bit of a ladies' man.

212
00:07:25,043 --> 00:07:26,909
Yes, that continued
long after you met my mom.

213
00:07:27,099 --> 00:07:28,981
- He's always been a floozy.
- It was dark.

214
00:07:29,106 --> 00:07:31,679
I crashed into the dock;
I woke up in the hospital.

215
00:07:31,715 --> 00:07:33,014
- How was the girl?
- Flexible.

216
00:07:33,050 --> 00:07:34,682
Man, she could put her leg... total...

217
00:07:34,718 --> 00:07:36,084
No, I was... after the accident.

218
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:37,139
Oh, right! No.

219
00:07:37,175 --> 00:07:38,419
She was totally unhurt, thank goodness.

220
00:07:38,455 --> 00:07:40,355
But I was in the hospital
for three weeks,

221
00:07:40,390 --> 00:07:43,558
and Admiral Ass never visited me once.

222
00:07:43,812 --> 00:07:45,894
I warned you not to take the boat out.

223
00:07:45,929 --> 00:07:48,596
You make mistakes, you got
to accept the consequences.

224
00:07:48,632 --> 00:07:51,166
- I'm your son!
- And Walter was my daughter.

225
00:07:51,201 --> 00:07:52,901
Okay, both of you, stop.

226
00:07:52,936 --> 00:07:54,702
You're acting like children.
You know what?

227
00:07:54,738 --> 00:07:56,175
That's it, if you're gonna
act like kids,

228
00:07:56,416 --> 00:07:58,291
then I'm gonna act like a parent.

229
00:07:58,655 --> 00:08:00,488
- "Cry Hard with a Vengeance"?
- Yeah.

230
00:08:00,524 --> 00:08:02,777
It's Bruce Willis's
book about parenting.

231
00:08:02,813 --> 00:08:04,261
And we're gonna read it.

232
00:08:04,546 --> 00:08:07,714
I just got another call from
the saddest ADA in the world.

233
00:08:07,750 --> 00:08:09,750
He's still pissed.
Did Hitchcock and Scully

234
00:08:09,786 --> 00:08:10,962
- get anywhere?
- Hard to say.

235
00:08:11,196 --> 00:08:14,249
Their file contains a lot
of non-case related documents.

236
00:08:14,403 --> 00:08:15,447
A bunch of menus?

237
00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:17,381
A cease and desist letter from TJ Maxx.

238
00:08:17,501 --> 00:08:18,801
Multiple patent submissions

239
00:08:18,837 --> 00:08:20,330
for something called a "pillow shoe."

240
00:08:20,444 --> 00:08:22,629
An application for a time share in Figi.

241
00:08:22,665 --> 00:08:25,432
- You mean Fiji.
- No, Figi with a G.

242
00:08:25,467 --> 00:08:26,726
They're getting scammed.

243
00:08:28,296 --> 00:08:29,770
Wait. This is good.

244
00:08:29,806 --> 00:08:31,071
There was a witness who saw everything.

245
00:08:31,107 --> 00:08:33,740
Identified the thief, they even
described the getaway car down

246
00:08:33,776 --> 00:08:35,575
to a dent in the right bumper.
We're golden.

247
00:08:35,611 --> 00:08:37,643
Yeah, but Hitchcock
and Scully forgot to write down

248
00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:39,545
the witness' name or contact info.

249
00:08:39,861 --> 00:08:41,948
What? No, that's insane.

250
00:08:41,983 --> 00:08:43,711
Even they wouldn't
do something that dumb.

251
00:08:43,852 --> 00:08:46,052
Dumb? Excuse me.

252
00:08:46,087 --> 00:08:47,420
I don't need this crap.

253
00:08:47,455 --> 00:08:48,988
I could be on the beach
in Figi right now.

254
00:08:49,024 --> 00:08:50,756
If we go to court, we're gonna need

255
00:08:50,792 --> 00:08:52,058
the witness to testify.

256
00:08:52,093 --> 00:08:54,160
But now, we have no way
of contacting him.

257
00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:55,411
So there's no case.

258
00:08:55,447 --> 00:08:58,517
How could you not take down
the witness' contact info?

259
00:08:58,553 --> 00:09:01,454
Well, unlike you dorks,
we don't do everything

260
00:09:01,536 --> 00:09:03,102
- "by the book."
- We play by our own rules.

261
00:09:03,138 --> 00:09:05,104
- And we get results.
- Mm-hmm.

262
00:09:05,140 --> 00:09:06,472
No! You don't!

263
00:09:06,507 --> 00:09:07,871
That's why we're here!

264
00:09:08,210 --> 00:09:09,809
So John McClain's advice wasn't great,

265
00:09:09,844 --> 00:09:10,752
but I have other books.

266
00:09:10,788 --> 00:09:14,179
This one says to make sure
neither of you has a full diaper.

267
00:09:14,215 --> 00:09:15,780
Feels like we can skip that part.

268
00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:18,516
- I wouldn't be so sure.
- Dad, come on, all right?

269
00:09:18,552 --> 00:09:19,395
How about this?

270
00:09:19,431 --> 00:09:22,234
Dad, just name one happy memory
that you have with Grandpa.

271
00:09:22,372 --> 00:09:24,639
And don't say the memory you're
going to have at his funeral.

272
00:09:24,675 --> 00:09:27,910
All right, when I was eight,
he was on shore leave,

273
00:09:28,009 --> 00:09:32,001
and we played catch
in the yard, and that was fun.

274
00:09:32,196 --> 00:09:33,905
Hey, there you go. That was great.

275
00:09:34,001 --> 00:09:36,801
And Grandpa, is there a happy
memory you want to share?

276
00:09:36,837 --> 00:09:38,937
Well, can I pick the catch thing too?

277
00:09:38,973 --> 00:09:40,272
- Yeah, sure.
- 'Cause that was really

278
00:09:40,307 --> 00:09:42,207
a nice time. While we were playing,

279
00:09:42,243 --> 00:09:44,041
the neighbor kid fell off his bike.

280
00:09:44,077 --> 00:09:46,643
- Yeah, he broke his arm.
- You could see the bone.

281
00:09:46,679 --> 00:09:48,179
Do you remember when we went

282
00:09:48,214 --> 00:09:50,647
skiing, and the guy fell off
the lift and busted his leg?

283
00:09:50,683 --> 00:09:52,216
- And you could see the bone.
- It was just, like,

284
00:09:52,252 --> 00:09:55,286
sticking right out of the skin,
and he's, like, screaming.

285
00:09:55,321 --> 00:09:57,621
- We were laughing.
- Oh, oh, it was beautiful.

286
00:09:57,656 --> 00:09:59,056
God, I hope somebody found him.

287
00:09:59,092 --> 00:10:00,892
Okay, well, you guys are both monsters,

288
00:10:00,927 --> 00:10:02,110
but this is going great.

289
00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:05,796
Yes, yes.

290
00:10:05,831 --> 00:10:07,164
I know you're being positive,

291
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,479
but I could use some honest criticism.

292
00:10:09,558 --> 00:10:11,058
Terry, I'd love to help, but...

293
00:10:13,206 --> 00:10:14,286
Follow me.

294
00:10:15,875 --> 00:10:16,840
Hello.

295
00:10:16,876 --> 00:10:19,042
You caught me stretching.
I've been doing this

296
00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:21,678
and nothing else for the
last half hour continuously.

297
00:10:21,714 --> 00:10:23,081
I saw you watching Terry.

298
00:10:23,181 --> 00:10:24,457
You were finger conducting.

299
00:10:25,537 --> 00:10:26,606
Fine.

300
00:10:26,981 --> 00:10:28,013
Yes.

301
00:10:28,168 --> 00:10:31,187
I may have overstated
my contempt for the music

302
00:10:31,223 --> 00:10:33,891
they play so that I wouldn't
have to help Jeffords.

303
00:10:33,926 --> 00:10:36,159
Oh, no, am I so bad, I can't be helped?

304
00:10:36,194 --> 00:10:38,595
Aw, man, I wanted to play
in the Thanksgiving Day Parade.

305
00:10:38,631 --> 00:10:40,096
Terry loves being in and among floats.

306
00:10:40,132 --> 00:10:42,005
You're not bad. You're maybe even...

307
00:10:42,635 --> 00:10:44,535
Good. But to make you great,

308
00:10:44,570 --> 00:10:47,218
I'd have to break you down to nothing.

309
00:10:47,740 --> 00:10:50,040
- It would ruin our friendship.
- I can handle criticism.

310
00:10:50,075 --> 00:10:51,841
My daughters criticize me all the time.

311
00:10:51,876 --> 00:10:53,999
They're so mean now.
Please help me, sir, please!

312
00:10:55,053 --> 00:10:56,060
Okay.

313
00:10:56,213 --> 00:10:57,230
Give me your flute.

314
00:10:57,949 --> 00:10:59,593
Wrong! First rule:

315
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:03,701
never give anyone your flute.

316
00:11:04,221 --> 00:11:06,507
- Hey, babe, how's it going?
- Amazingly well.

317
00:11:06,591 --> 00:11:08,558
My dad and my grandpa are
actually getting along.

318
00:11:08,593 --> 00:11:09,892
They've been catching up nonstop.

319
00:11:09,928 --> 00:11:11,026
- Aunt Millie?
- Dead.

320
00:11:11,062 --> 00:11:12,227
- Uncle Thomas?
- Dead.

321
00:11:12,263 --> 00:11:13,228
- Aunt Janet?
- Dead.

322
00:11:13,264 --> 00:11:14,229
- Uncle Dean?
- Gay.

323
00:11:14,265 --> 00:11:15,565
Ooh, good for him.

324
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:16,922
- What about Aunt Lyn?
- Dead.

325
00:11:17,101 --> 00:11:19,034
Apparently there was a fire
at the family reunion.

326
00:11:19,070 --> 00:11:21,302
Lucky for my Uncle Dean, he
was not welcome at the event.

327
00:11:21,445 --> 00:11:23,305
- Wow. Dark.
- Yeah.

328
00:11:23,341 --> 00:11:25,574
Well, I'm glad everything's working out.

329
00:11:25,609 --> 00:11:27,208
Oh, I got to go. Love you, bye.

330
00:11:27,243 --> 00:11:28,577
Actually, I got to go too, so...

331
00:11:30,420 --> 00:11:33,047
I didn't even think
it was possible to put a cast

332
00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:35,383
on that part of the body.

333
00:11:35,418 --> 00:11:37,251
That was Amy. I hung up first.

334
00:11:37,287 --> 00:11:39,120
Looks like things are
still going great in here.

335
00:11:39,155 --> 00:11:41,723
Yeah, they sure are.
Hey, Dad, toss me a beer.

336
00:11:41,758 --> 00:11:42,780
Bring the heat.

337
00:11:43,126 --> 00:11:44,726
Whoa!

338
00:11:44,761 --> 00:11:45,794
- No, the sex reveal cake!
- Oh.

339
00:11:45,829 --> 00:11:46,995
Nobody look at the floor!

340
00:11:47,030 --> 00:11:48,630
No one can see the color of the cake.

341
00:11:51,267 --> 00:11:52,667
How long are we doing this?
What's the plan?

342
00:11:52,703 --> 00:11:53,768
I don't know yet!

343
00:11:55,221 --> 00:11:56,628
Okay, we all heard the cake splat

344
00:11:56,664 --> 00:11:57,988
on the other side of the counter,

345
00:11:58,024 --> 00:12:00,457
which means we can probably
assume you can see the color.

346
00:12:00,493 --> 00:12:01,992
- Why does that matter?
- Because the color of the cake

347
00:12:02,028 --> 00:12:03,494
tells us if we're having
a boy or a girl.

348
00:12:03,530 --> 00:12:04,629
How can that baker tell?

349
00:12:04,664 --> 00:12:05,797
Because the baker does the test.

350
00:12:05,832 --> 00:12:07,702
No, the doctor does the test.
Then the doctor calls the baker,

351
00:12:07,738 --> 00:12:08,869
and the baker makes the cake.

352
00:12:08,905 --> 00:12:10,740
Okay, I hate to say this,
but can you start over?

353
00:12:10,776 --> 00:12:12,737
No, we don't have time.
Just help me fix this.

354
00:12:12,772 --> 00:12:14,138
You know, it's Roger's fault.

355
00:12:14,173 --> 00:12:15,639
All he had to do was catch the beer.

356
00:12:15,674 --> 00:12:17,474
Well, maybe I'd be better
at catch if I played it

357
00:12:17,509 --> 00:12:20,115
- more than once growing up.
- Guys, focus up.

358
00:12:20,279 --> 00:12:21,411
We're all getting along, remember?

359
00:12:21,447 --> 00:12:24,081
Now, we can't see the cake
before Amy, which means we have

360
00:12:24,116 --> 00:12:26,150
to figure out a way to clean
it up without looking at it.

361
00:12:26,185 --> 00:12:28,152
We have to "Birdbox" it.

362
00:12:28,187 --> 00:12:30,487
- And "Birdbox" is the bakery.
- No, "Birdbox" is a movie

363
00:12:30,522 --> 00:12:32,323
where people aren't allowed
to look at things.

364
00:12:32,498 --> 00:12:34,886
Just put on these blindfolds
and help me clean it up.

365
00:12:35,061 --> 00:12:37,212
I "Birdbox-ed"
the stewardess in Sweden once.

366
00:12:37,248 --> 00:12:38,214
Dad!

367
00:12:38,250 --> 00:12:39,216
_

368
00:12:39,252 --> 00:12:41,886
Okay, that should be all of it.

369
00:12:42,034 --> 00:12:44,335
I think it's safe
to take off our blindfolds...

370
00:12:44,370 --> 00:12:45,369
Oh, [bleep]!

371
00:12:45,404 --> 00:12:48,305
No, no! Oh, God!

372
00:12:48,341 --> 00:12:49,138
[bleep]!

373
00:12:49,432 --> 00:12:51,674
What happened? We were so careful.

374
00:12:51,709 --> 00:12:52,917
Here comes the mop.

375
00:12:53,411 --> 00:12:54,543
Bag.

376
00:12:54,579 --> 00:12:55,711
- This is hard.
- Yeah.

377
00:12:55,747 --> 00:12:58,514
I could use a beer, you know?

378
00:12:58,549 --> 00:13:00,183
- Oh, oh.
- You okay?

379
00:13:00,218 --> 00:13:01,384
The cake was blue.

380
00:13:01,419 --> 00:13:03,619
You're having a boy. It's the curse.

381
00:13:03,654 --> 00:13:05,521
No. No, no, no, there's no curse.

382
00:13:05,556 --> 00:13:08,124
Look, we can still fix this.
All we have to do is clean

383
00:13:08,159 --> 00:13:10,459
every inch of this room,
and then bake a gourmet cake.

384
00:13:10,495 --> 00:13:12,395
No one can do all that in two hours.

385
00:13:12,430 --> 00:13:13,614
Wrong, Dad.

386
00:13:14,565 --> 00:13:15,798
There is one who can.

387
00:13:18,569 --> 00:13:21,102
Hello, fellas. Let's get to work.

388
00:13:24,154 --> 00:13:25,841
Oh, hey. I got something.

389
00:13:25,877 --> 00:13:28,105
There was a security camera by
the Carroll Street brownstone.

390
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,274
And it got footage of the perps?

391
00:13:29,310 --> 00:13:30,842
No, but it caught Scully and Hitchcock

392
00:13:30,878 --> 00:13:32,515
- interviewing the witness.
- All right.

393
00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:33,720
Let's start canvassing the neighborhood,

394
00:13:33,756 --> 00:13:35,023
see if anybody recognizes that guy.

395
00:13:35,059 --> 00:13:36,058
Yeah.

396
00:13:36,612 --> 00:13:37,612
Wait!

397
00:13:38,623 --> 00:13:40,756
- What the hell?
- Sorry, I didn't want to run,

398
00:13:40,792 --> 00:13:42,558
and that was the only way
to stop the doors.

399
00:13:42,593 --> 00:13:45,093
- It wasn't, and it didn't.
- It worked, we're here.

400
00:13:45,129 --> 00:13:46,829
Please, don't go looking
for that witness.

401
00:13:46,864 --> 00:13:48,430
We're just trying to fix your screw-up.

402
00:13:48,465 --> 00:13:50,565
We didn't screw up.
The witness gave us his name,

403
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:52,973
but he asked us not to write it
down because he's undocumented.

404
00:13:53,755 --> 00:13:56,203
So he's scared to show up
to testify at the courthouse

405
00:13:56,239 --> 00:13:57,739
because he didn't want
to be detained by ICE.

406
00:13:57,774 --> 00:13:58,740
- Damn it.
- You know,

407
00:13:58,775 --> 00:14:00,842
that keeps lots of immigrants
from helping cops.

408
00:14:00,877 --> 00:14:02,544
Yeah, we know that. We're just surprised

409
00:14:02,579 --> 00:14:04,178
- that you know that.
- That's insulting.

410
00:14:04,213 --> 00:14:05,847
I'm very concerned
with immigration issues.

411
00:14:05,882 --> 00:14:07,849
And I've dated my fair share of spicy...

412
00:14:07,884 --> 00:14:09,584
- No!
- Scully said the nice thing.

413
00:14:09,619 --> 00:14:11,182
You don't need to go past it, Hitchcock.

414
00:14:11,587 --> 00:14:14,121
Okay, I know you need help
and time is tight,

415
00:14:14,157 --> 00:14:15,757
but I see there is blue cake
on the floor,

416
00:14:15,792 --> 00:14:18,092
and I know what that means,
vis-à-vis the sex of the baby.

417
00:14:18,127 --> 00:14:21,395
So before we do anything,
I'm going to need a minute.

418
00:14:21,431 --> 00:14:22,464
_

419
00:14:22,499 --> 00:14:24,865
Sorry for all the weeping
and the weird snort noise

420
00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:26,434
I made at the end. It's genetic.

421
00:14:26,469 --> 00:14:28,802
Now, Jake, grab the mop,
you're on cleanup.

422
00:14:28,838 --> 00:14:30,537
Admiral, you're making the batter.

423
00:14:30,573 --> 00:14:32,773
Captain, you're on frosting duty.

424
00:14:32,808 --> 00:14:33,907
_

425
00:14:34,527 --> 00:14:35,742
Okay, Amy just texted.

426
00:14:35,778 --> 00:14:37,956
She's gonna be here
any second, so hide that thing.

427
00:14:37,992 --> 00:14:38,992
The...

428
00:14:40,083 --> 00:14:43,284
- Oh.
- Dad, that is so noticeable.

429
00:14:43,319 --> 00:14:44,452
Nuh-uh, it's awesome.

430
00:14:44,487 --> 00:14:45,786
All right, everybody, act normal.

431
00:14:45,821 --> 00:14:46,920
Act normal.

432
00:14:47,506 --> 00:14:48,655
Hey, guys.

433
00:14:48,691 --> 00:14:50,521
Hey, welcome home.

434
00:14:50,605 --> 00:14:53,095
I'd like you to meet my grandpa, Walter.

435
00:14:53,262 --> 00:14:54,661
It's so nice to meet you.

436
00:14:54,697 --> 00:14:56,464
Hello, things are normal here.

437
00:14:56,499 --> 00:14:58,131
Yeah, everything's totally normal...

438
00:14:58,166 --> 00:14:59,500
Back here too, behind the chair.

439
00:14:59,588 --> 00:15:01,234
Yup, and that was a normal thing to say.

440
00:15:01,336 --> 00:15:02,636
Are things normal with you, Amy?

441
00:15:02,671 --> 00:15:03,937
- Sure.
- Cool.

442
00:15:04,592 --> 00:15:06,306
I'm going to go get ready for the party.

443
00:15:06,341 --> 00:15:07,574
Oh, fun.

444
00:15:11,313 --> 00:15:13,480
Oh, my God, I can't believe
we pulled it off.

445
00:15:13,516 --> 00:15:14,648
Charles, we owe it all to you.

446
00:15:14,683 --> 00:15:17,618
Stop, it was an honor to cook
and clean with all of you.

447
00:15:17,653 --> 00:15:20,754
Boy, Jake is so lucky
to have you as his butler.

448
00:15:20,789 --> 00:15:21,755
- Oh, he's not...
- Thank you.

449
00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:22,668
Oh.

450
00:15:22,981 --> 00:15:24,758
I'm so glad you're helping me.

451
00:15:24,793 --> 00:15:26,192
Maybe I won't blow it after all.

452
00:15:26,228 --> 00:15:27,494
Oh, you'll do plenty of blowing...

453
00:15:27,530 --> 00:15:28,829
Of that flute. Now, let's go.

454
00:15:28,864 --> 00:15:30,533
A five, six, seven, eight.

455
00:15:31,866 --> 00:15:32,778
Stop.

456
00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:35,668
The nod meant start now,
not start one second later.

457
00:15:35,703 --> 00:15:37,436
Again. Five, six, seven, eight.

458
00:15:38,973 --> 00:15:39,972
Stop.

459
00:15:42,170 --> 00:15:43,943
Are you playing "The Muffin
Man" or "The Garbage Man"?

460
00:15:43,978 --> 00:15:45,678
- Huh?
- Do you know the Garbage Man?

461
00:15:45,713 --> 00:15:46,512
Because I do.

462
00:15:46,548 --> 00:15:48,213
Because I'm looking right at him.

463
00:15:48,249 --> 00:15:49,982
Again. Five, six, seven, eight.

464
00:15:52,253 --> 00:15:54,520
? Bum, bum, bum, badum, bum, bum ?

465
00:15:56,991 --> 00:15:57,962
Again.

466
00:16:00,662 --> 00:16:01,670
Again.

467
00:16:01,706 --> 00:16:03,372
? Bum, bum, bum, badum, bum, bum ?

468
00:16:05,566 --> 00:16:06,831
? Da, da, da, da ?

469
00:16:06,867 --> 00:16:08,329
Why did you stop playing, Garbage Man?

470
00:16:08,435 --> 00:16:09,408
I need some water.

471
00:16:09,444 --> 00:16:10,990
What you need to do is
keep practicing, Garbage Man.

472
00:16:11,113 --> 00:16:12,971
- I don't have any more saliva.
- And I don't have any more

473
00:16:13,006 --> 00:16:15,640
time for your excuses, Garbage Man.

474
00:16:15,676 --> 00:16:17,508
Now play again. Five, six...

475
00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:18,877
I don't want your help anymore!

476
00:16:18,912 --> 00:16:22,167
I'm not a garbage man! I'm a muffin man!

477
00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:25,917
Attention, everyone.

478
00:16:25,953 --> 00:16:27,552
Thank you all so much for coming.

479
00:16:27,588 --> 00:16:28,720
Please gather around.

480
00:16:28,755 --> 00:16:31,222
We're going to cut the cake and find out

481
00:16:31,257 --> 00:16:34,598
what our baby's whole
downstairs situation is.

482
00:16:35,342 --> 00:16:36,861
- Why the accent?
- I don't know.

483
00:16:36,897 --> 00:16:38,396
I did so bad.
I should have let you talk.

484
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:39,564
- Yeah, you should have.
- Okay.

485
00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:40,664
- I love you.
- Oh.

486
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:41,732
Okay, let's do this.

487
00:16:41,767 --> 00:16:43,568
Here we go.

488
00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:46,937
All right, we are having a...

489
00:16:47,553 --> 00:16:48,617
Green.

490
00:16:48,941 --> 00:16:50,108
Oh, my God. What's inside of me?

491
00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:52,910
No, you just cut a bad slice.
Here, I'll get a good one.

492
00:16:52,945 --> 00:16:54,612
I guess the bakery must have messed up.

493
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:55,946
What are you talking about?

494
00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:57,848
Roger's the one that
added the food coloring.

495
00:16:57,883 --> 00:16:59,250
Well, you mixed the batter.

496
00:16:59,285 --> 00:17:00,918
Wait, did you guys bake that cake?

497
00:17:00,953 --> 00:17:02,962
Well, we just, you could say that...

498
00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:05,623
Jake?

499
00:17:06,154 --> 00:17:07,592
Okay, fine. Yes, we baked it.

500
00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:09,460
I'm so sorry.
I'll explain everything later.

501
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:10,794
Dad, please stop cutting the cake.

502
00:17:10,830 --> 00:17:11,729
I'm trying to find a good slice.

503
00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:14,731
There is no good slice!
You screwed it up!

504
00:17:14,766 --> 00:17:15,898
- You're a screw-up!
- Yeah?

505
00:17:15,934 --> 00:17:18,268
Well, if I'm a screw up,
it's 'cause you screwed me up.

506
00:17:18,303 --> 00:17:19,636
- You screw-up.
- Screw you.

507
00:17:19,671 --> 00:17:21,638
- I'm leaving.
- Wait, wait, no, don't go!

508
00:17:21,673 --> 00:17:22,439
We reversed the curse!

509
00:17:22,474 --> 00:17:23,906
Don't reverse the curse reverse!

510
00:17:23,942 --> 00:17:25,575
Actually, Jake, I'm going too.

511
00:17:25,611 --> 00:17:26,909
What? No, why would you go?

512
00:17:26,945 --> 00:17:28,545
I need to go to the hospital.

513
00:17:28,580 --> 00:17:29,712
I cut my thumb off.

514
00:17:29,748 --> 00:17:31,281
- Again?
- The other one.

515
00:17:32,484 --> 00:17:34,152
- Oh, God.
- Oh, God.

516
00:17:34,817 --> 00:17:37,354
Ah... Get the "Dino Bites."

517
00:17:38,085 --> 00:17:40,034
Hey, how are you feeling?
How's the thumb?

518
00:17:40,629 --> 00:17:42,950
Great, looks perfect.
Like nothing ever happened.

519
00:17:43,115 --> 00:17:46,552
- It's the other thumb, Dad.
- Oh, no, yeah, that looks bad.

520
00:17:46,588 --> 00:17:48,555
The doctor said it might
take a long time to heal,

521
00:17:48,590 --> 00:17:50,379
and that it might
never be as long again.

522
00:17:50,559 --> 00:17:52,011
My thumb? I don't care.

523
00:17:52,827 --> 00:17:54,561
- Is my dad here?
- No.

524
00:17:54,596 --> 00:17:57,208
I called him and he said...

525
00:17:57,844 --> 00:17:58,830
How do I put this?

526
00:17:58,866 --> 00:18:01,411
That I'm a useless screw-up
and he's done with me?

527
00:18:01,516 --> 00:18:03,682
Yeah, something exactly
like that, verbatim, sure.

528
00:18:03,770 --> 00:18:05,737
Look, I'm really sorry that I forced

529
00:18:05,772 --> 00:18:08,407
this whole reunion on you.
I think our family might be

530
00:18:08,442 --> 00:18:09,841
cursed, and I'm going to be a bad dad.

531
00:18:09,876 --> 00:18:11,444
No, I was wrong.

532
00:18:11,659 --> 00:18:15,284
There's no curse.
My dad is just a selfish dick.

533
00:18:16,087 --> 00:18:17,385
And I was too.

534
00:18:17,851 --> 00:18:20,752
All the other Peralta dads,
we probably just learned it

535
00:18:20,787 --> 00:18:23,054
- from each other.
- Or it's just in our genes.

536
00:18:23,090 --> 00:18:24,856
No, you proved that wrong.

537
00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:27,659
You care, and you do the work.

538
00:18:27,694 --> 00:18:31,530
You're reading parenting books
before your kid is even born.

539
00:18:31,565 --> 00:18:34,065
You tried to get me
and Dad back together.

540
00:18:34,101 --> 00:18:36,435
Hell, you even fished
my thumb out of the cake.

541
00:18:36,470 --> 00:18:37,368
Yeah, that was gross.

542
00:18:37,403 --> 00:18:39,004
You're so excited about having a kid,

543
00:18:39,039 --> 00:18:40,605
you're having a sex reveal party.

544
00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:42,206
I never did anything like that,

545
00:18:42,242 --> 00:18:43,775
except that one time in Amsterdam.

546
00:18:43,810 --> 00:18:45,610
I really wish you'd stop
bringing that up.

547
00:18:45,646 --> 00:18:47,817
Jake, you're going to be a great dad.

548
00:18:48,182 --> 00:18:49,862
And your son's gonna love you.

549
00:18:50,764 --> 00:18:51,780
Thanks.

550
00:18:52,552 --> 00:18:55,020
And I think you're going
to make a real good grandpa.

551
00:18:55,055 --> 00:18:55,920
Hey,

552
00:18:55,956 --> 00:18:58,790
who's got two surgically
reattached thumbs

553
00:18:58,825 --> 00:19:01,225
and is super proud of his son?

554
00:19:01,261 --> 00:19:02,961
Oh, you don't have to...

555
00:19:02,996 --> 00:19:04,089
This guy...

556
00:19:08,265 --> 00:19:09,600
My boss is furious.

557
00:19:09,636 --> 00:19:11,136
You ruined my 25th birthday.

558
00:19:11,171 --> 00:19:12,771
I want those guys punished.

559
00:19:12,806 --> 00:19:14,604
Understood. I'll talk to them right now.

560
00:19:15,313 --> 00:19:17,574
Without that witness,
the DA has nothing.

561
00:19:17,609 --> 00:19:19,109
- Kurm is pissed.
- It's true.

562
00:19:19,145 --> 00:19:20,630
He kept calling you guys
the human centipede.

563
00:19:20,666 --> 00:19:22,179
Because we have our heads up our asses.

564
00:19:22,214 --> 00:19:24,325
- Yes, we've heard that before.
- I never thought I'd say this,

565
00:19:24,361 --> 00:19:25,438
but you guys did the right thing.

566
00:19:25,474 --> 00:19:27,208
Unfortunately, Kurm
wants you disciplined.

567
00:19:27,244 --> 00:19:28,952
So effective tomorrow,

568
00:19:28,988 --> 00:19:30,954
you're each getting one week
paid suspension.

569
00:19:30,990 --> 00:19:33,590
- Like vacation?
- You deserve this punishment!

570
00:19:33,625 --> 00:19:35,559
It's punishment
where you don't have to work.

571
00:19:35,594 --> 00:19:36,660
And we can go anywhere we like?

572
00:19:36,696 --> 00:19:37,861
You can go to hell for all I care!

573
00:19:37,897 --> 00:19:39,997
Or to a resort
where you're being scammed.

574
00:19:40,032 --> 00:19:41,131
Figi. Good idea.

575
00:19:41,167 --> 00:19:42,166
Now, get out of my face!

576
00:19:42,343 --> 00:19:43,696
Have fun.

577
00:19:46,271 --> 00:19:47,320
Next.

578
00:19:47,933 --> 00:19:50,639
Hi, my name is Terry Jeffords.

579
00:19:50,675 --> 00:19:52,608
And I don't know how
this is going to go...

580
00:19:52,643 --> 00:19:53,657
Wait!

581
00:19:53,978 --> 00:19:55,011
Sir.

582
00:19:55,046 --> 00:19:57,146
I'm Captain Raymond Holt
of the 99th precinct,

583
00:19:57,182 --> 00:19:58,915
and I need to tell you about this man.

584
00:19:58,950 --> 00:20:00,917
Now, the audition piece
he's about to play may not

585
00:20:00,952 --> 00:20:03,752
be technically perfect.
In fact, it may hurt your ears.

586
00:20:03,787 --> 00:20:06,021
You may consider it an insult to music.

587
00:20:06,056 --> 00:20:07,655
You may whisper to each other,

588
00:20:07,691 --> 00:20:08,924
"'Muffin Man'? Pssh!

589
00:20:08,959 --> 00:20:10,592
More like Garbage Man."

590
00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:12,194
- Come on.
- But you would be wrong.

591
00:20:12,229 --> 00:20:14,596
This man has taught me something.

592
00:20:14,631 --> 00:20:17,699
He's taught me that music
is about heart and soul.

593
00:20:17,735 --> 00:20:19,977
It's about perseverance.

594
00:20:20,013 --> 00:20:24,393
Despite everything I put him through,
he showed up here today.

595
00:20:24,875 --> 00:20:28,408
And you would be a fool
not to put him in your band.

596
00:20:28,444 --> 00:20:30,474
Thank you, Captain. Lieutenant?

597
00:20:30,510 --> 00:20:31,847
What instrument do you play?

598
00:20:31,882 --> 00:20:33,148
- The flute.
- You're hired.

599
00:20:33,183 --> 00:20:34,783
What? I haven't even played.

600
00:20:34,818 --> 00:20:36,217
You're the only flute who auditioned.

601
00:20:36,253 --> 00:20:37,218
Welcome to the band.

602
00:20:37,254 --> 00:20:39,053
Yes! I did it!

603
00:20:40,519 --> 00:20:41,789
Hey. How's your dad doing?

604
00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:43,224
Well, the doctor said he'll be okay,

605
00:20:43,260 --> 00:20:45,059
but his hands are basically claws now.

606
00:20:45,094 --> 00:20:46,661
I don't know why they think that's okay.

607
00:20:46,696 --> 00:20:48,730
Hey, listen, I'm sorry
the cake was green.

608
00:20:48,765 --> 00:20:49,697
It's okay.

609
00:20:49,733 --> 00:20:51,666
I'll love our little Shrek
no matter what.

610
00:20:51,701 --> 00:20:52,533
Oh, my God. That's right.

611
00:20:52,569 --> 00:20:54,135
You still don't know
the sex of the baby.

612
00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:55,737
With all the craziness, I almost forgot.

613
00:20:55,772 --> 00:20:57,672
- Emphasis on "almost."
- What?

614
00:20:57,707 --> 00:20:59,907
Well, I got another cake
just for the two of us.

615
00:20:59,942 --> 00:21:02,009
Jake, that's so sweet.

616
00:21:02,044 --> 00:21:04,056
- Here we go.
- I'm so excited.

617
00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:06,180
It's empty. There's no cake inside.

618
00:21:06,215 --> 00:21:07,649
What? Where'd it go?

619
00:21:07,684 --> 00:21:09,250
Hey, guys. Do you have any milk?

620
00:21:09,285 --> 00:21:11,252
We're having a boy?

621
00:21:11,287 --> 00:21:12,820
We're having a boy!

622
00:21:12,855 --> 00:21:14,922
Hey, do you have milk or not?

623
00:21:14,957 --> 00:21:16,190
- Jeez.
- God.

624
00:21:16,332 --> 00:21:20,332
Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.addic7ed.com