1
00:00:21,841 --> 00:00:22,897
D'oh!

2
00:00:31,959 --> 00:00:33,420
_

3
00:00:33,721 --> 00:00:35,201
- _
- Ha-ha-ha!

4
00:00:42,239 --> 00:00:44,785
And that's why,
if you go to that little town in France,

5
00:00:44,862 --> 00:00:47,454
there's a statue of me surrendering.

6
00:00:48,301 --> 00:00:49,623
See?

7
00:00:49,700 --> 00:00:53,294
Wow, Grampa,
your stories are really cool today.

8
00:00:53,370 --> 00:00:57,066
Yeah, the nursing home finally
stopped using me as the placebo

9
00:00:57,101 --> 00:00:58,670
and gave me real meds.

10
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:07,281
But what I really wanted to
do today was to give you this,

11
00:01:07,316 --> 00:01:09,685
my most precious possession.

12
00:01:09,762 --> 00:01:12,187
Open it.

13
00:01:17,862 --> 00:01:20,988
It'll explode in just five
seconds if you pull the pin.

14
00:01:21,065 --> 00:01:22,726
Uh-oh. Senior moment!

15
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:24,366
Put it back! Put it back!

16
00:01:24,443 --> 00:01:26,919
It don't work that way!
It's like having a kid!

17
00:01:28,739 --> 00:01:31,235
- Say your prayers, boy.
- Never!

18
00:01:32,835 --> 00:01:34,093
Hmm?

19
00:01:34,170 --> 00:01:36,670
Ha, ha! I pranked ya.

20
00:01:38,308 --> 00:01:40,266
Grampa, that was hilarious.

21
00:01:40,343 --> 00:01:41,745
I understand if the answer's no,

22
00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:44,415
but can I borrow your dud grenade?

23
00:01:46,131 --> 00:01:48,107
Aw, he's asleep.

24
00:01:48,184 --> 00:01:50,026
That means yes.

25
00:01:56,141 --> 00:01:58,734
This year, we've just been
named the most sedentary school

26
00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:00,569
- in the state.
- Yay!

27
00:02:00,646 --> 00:02:02,404
Yay!

28
00:02:02,481 --> 00:02:05,052
No. No, no. Sedentary is a bad thing.

29
00:02:05,087 --> 00:02:07,076
Our vocabulary score was also abysmal.

30
00:02:07,152 --> 00:02:09,456
- Is that a bad...
- It's a bad thing, yes.

31
00:02:09,491 --> 00:02:10,371
- Yay!
- Now to get you kids

32
00:02:10,447 --> 00:02:12,131
up on your feet, we decided to have

33
00:02:12,208 --> 00:02:15,377
a two-hour-long sit-down
assembly instead of recess.

34
00:02:15,412 --> 00:02:16,285
No fair!

35
00:02:16,361 --> 00:02:19,088
- Sit down.
- Yes... ma'am.

36
00:02:19,164 --> 00:02:21,140
To kick things off,
please welcome the new mascot

37
00:02:21,217 --> 00:02:25,251
from the town's semi-amateur
hockey team, Vinnie the Vulture.

38
00:02:25,286 --> 00:02:26,391
Yay!

39
00:02:28,412 --> 00:02:29,056
Hey, kids.

40
00:02:29,133 --> 00:02:32,609
Milhouse, you didn't tell me
your dad got another bad job.

41
00:02:32,644 --> 00:02:34,889
Actually, he's the understudy.

42
00:02:34,924 --> 00:02:36,489
The main guy got shingles.

43
00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:40,253
Ugh, there's a bee in my beak!

44
00:02:40,277 --> 00:02:42,227
Okay, taking a break. Ow!

45
00:02:42,304 --> 00:02:44,729
How many... ow!
How many stingers can one be have?!

46
00:02:44,806 --> 00:02:46,426
- God!
- Uh...

47
00:02:46,450 --> 00:02:48,094
How about a little show-and-tell?

48
00:02:48,118 --> 00:02:49,785
I'll go first!

49
00:02:51,416 --> 00:02:54,289
Don't worry. It is a live grenade,
but it won't go off

50
00:02:54,366 --> 00:02:57,075
as long as you don't pull the pin out.

51
00:02:57,425 --> 00:02:58,460
Ay, caramba!

52
00:03:03,298 --> 00:03:05,759
Climb in my ass hatch, son.

53
00:03:17,172 --> 00:03:19,723
It was all just a joke.

54
00:03:19,799 --> 00:03:21,766
You monster.
You had me finally believing

55
00:03:21,843 --> 00:03:25,153
the school would be destroyed,
and you took it away.

56
00:03:25,230 --> 00:03:28,106
I didn't think
it was funny either, Bart.

57
00:03:28,183 --> 00:03:32,138
You have no idea how
far up in there I went.

58
00:03:35,523 --> 00:03:38,979
Mom, you heard there was
an emergency and you came?

59
00:03:39,003 --> 00:03:41,503
Oh, well, actually,
I was just having a sleepover

60
00:03:41,580 --> 00:03:43,463
with your uncle... moustache over there.

61
00:03:45,852 --> 00:03:49,344
Mom, you promised you'd never
show up at school drunk again.

62
00:03:49,421 --> 00:03:52,797
I'm not gonna lie,
I am in a shame spiral,

63
00:03:52,874 --> 00:03:55,425
hanging out with lowlifes and bums.

64
00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:56,801
Hey, Gary.

65
00:03:56,878 --> 00:03:59,095
This is to not say my name.

66
00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:00,797
Payday!

67
00:04:00,888 --> 00:04:04,476
Nelson, I'm gonna go
take a nap in your locker.

68
00:04:04,552 --> 00:04:05,777
Freedom!

69
00:04:10,534 --> 00:04:12,679
Son, you forced this man
to jump on the grenade

70
00:04:12,703 --> 00:04:14,444
seconds before I was going to.

71
00:04:14,521 --> 00:04:15,849
Well, Simpson, thanks to you,

72
00:04:15,873 --> 00:04:18,373
now no one can bring grenades to school.

73
00:04:18,450 --> 00:04:21,993
This time, you will be expelled,
never to return.

74
00:04:22,070 --> 00:04:23,828
Please don't expel him.

75
00:04:23,905 --> 00:04:26,214
He's got nowhere to go.

76
00:04:26,291 --> 00:04:28,625
Bart Simpson, I hereby declare you...

77
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:31,531
Wait. I've lived
next to this boy for years.

78
00:04:31,555 --> 00:04:33,555
There's good in him.
Let me work with him after school.

79
00:04:33,632 --> 00:04:35,390
I'll improve him with the three P's:

80
00:04:35,425 --> 00:04:38,134
persistence,
prayer and persistent prayer.

81
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:39,844
Oh, God, you're one of those.

82
00:04:40,647 --> 00:04:42,639
- Dear Lord...
- Don't kneel. Don't kneel!

83
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,942
We're in a public school,
for God's sake!

84
00:04:46,052 --> 00:04:48,070
"Engel v. Vitale, 1962.

85
00:04:48,146 --> 00:04:50,238
The Supreme Court asserts that..."

86
00:04:50,315 --> 00:04:53,075
Superintendent, you are about
to be on the business end

87
00:04:53,151 --> 00:04:54,818
of a prayer chain.

88
00:04:54,894 --> 00:04:57,079
"As a part of a religious
program carried on

89
00:04:57,155 --> 00:04:58,989
by government,
it is a matter of history..."

90
00:04:59,065 --> 00:05:02,084
My love of prayer is
reflected in my chest hair.

91
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:05,662
I appear to be in the wrong group chat.

92
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:08,090
"...and the judgment of the
Court of Appeals of New York

93
00:05:08,166 --> 00:05:09,903
is reversed, and the cause of..."

94
00:05:09,927 --> 00:05:11,167
Amen.

95
00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:13,837
Sir, we're up to 205 verified pray-ers.

96
00:05:13,913 --> 00:05:16,576
Do you really want me to
give them your office number?

97
00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:17,641
Hmm? Hmm?

98
00:05:20,128 --> 00:05:22,554
Fine. Stop, please! I've had enough.

99
00:05:22,630 --> 00:05:24,084
We won't expel Bart.

100
00:05:24,108 --> 00:05:25,607
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

101
00:05:25,684 --> 00:05:29,394
If you supervise this boy,
keeping him away

102
00:05:29,471 --> 00:05:32,092
from the baleful presence of his father.

103
00:05:32,116 --> 00:05:33,690
Woo-hoo! Win-win!

104
00:05:34,274 --> 00:05:36,429
Bon après-midi, Bart.

105
00:05:36,453 --> 00:05:38,620
While you get some special help,

106
00:05:38,697 --> 00:05:40,572
I'm hanging with the French club.

107
00:05:40,648 --> 00:05:42,365
Well, just don't make
fun of me in French.

108
00:05:42,442 --> 00:05:44,270
Vous êtes un imbécile.

109
00:05:44,294 --> 00:05:47,107
Profitez de votre
journée avec le Flanders!

110
00:05:47,131 --> 00:05:48,538
A demain.

111
00:05:48,615 --> 00:05:50,582
Ah, nous allons faire un pique-nique.

112
00:05:50,658 --> 00:05:53,251
Oh! Shut up. Shut up!

113
00:05:53,328 --> 00:05:55,211
Vous ne parlez pas français?

114
00:06:01,053 --> 00:06:02,644
Isn't it great, son?

115
00:06:02,721 --> 00:06:05,388
Washing dishes can be both
a chore and a meditation.

116
00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:07,293
I do feel kind of at peace.

117
00:06:07,317 --> 00:06:08,725
Uh-oh. Cut myself.

118
00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:10,463
Oh, my God, oh, my God!

119
00:06:11,563 --> 00:06:12,646
Gotcha!

120
00:06:13,785 --> 00:06:17,637
I can make that real blood,
you little punk.

121
00:06:17,661 --> 00:06:19,235
What did you say?

122
00:06:19,927 --> 00:06:20,974
What I meant to say was,

123
00:06:20,998 --> 00:06:23,498
oodily-doodily,
we'll change that atti-toodily.

124
00:06:23,575 --> 00:06:24,584
Fishing?

125
00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:25,742
When I didn't take a Ritalin?

126
00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:27,619
- You monster.
- Hush.

127
00:06:27,695 --> 00:06:30,747
If you don't catch something,
we don't eat tonight.

128
00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:32,123
Stupid fishing.

129
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:34,843
Stupid peace and quiet.

130
00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:36,419
Stupid sunset.

131
00:06:36,496 --> 00:06:37,829
Thinks it has so many colors.

132
00:06:37,906 --> 00:06:40,588
So beautiful and bright
and golden and...

133
00:06:40,926 --> 00:06:43,468
Mind your line, Bart. You got a nibble.

134
00:06:43,545 --> 00:06:45,331
I've got it! I've got it!

135
00:06:45,355 --> 00:06:47,764
I murdered a fish. Me, by myself.

136
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,140
Don't get cocky, son.

137
00:06:49,217 --> 00:06:51,359
You've still got to clean it and eat it.

138
00:06:51,436 --> 00:06:53,770
First things first,
we got to start a fire.

139
00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:55,605
Uh, with what?

140
00:06:55,682 --> 00:06:58,575
We'll build character
by building it ourselves.

141
00:07:02,039 --> 00:07:03,413
Your turn.

142
00:07:04,374 --> 00:07:05,824
Oh, my hands hurt.

143
00:07:05,900 --> 00:07:07,659
There are child labor laws, you know.

144
00:07:07,735 --> 00:07:09,878
This is the most idiotic...

145
00:07:09,955 --> 00:07:13,215
Ay, caramba!

146
00:07:13,868 --> 00:07:16,863
Ay, caramba...!

147
00:07:18,296 --> 00:07:20,533
- How do you feel?
- Great. But why?

148
00:07:20,557 --> 00:07:22,298
Well, it's called
"accomplishment," son...

149
00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:23,800
something you've earned yourself

150
00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:25,393
that can never be taken from you.

151
00:07:25,470 --> 00:07:26,970
Left-handed handshake.

152
00:07:27,046 --> 00:07:28,471
And now that you're on your way,

153
00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:30,807
there's no telling how far you'll go.

154
00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:35,061
? Amazing grace ?

155
00:07:35,114 --> 00:07:39,552
? How sweet the sound... ?

156
00:07:39,576 --> 00:07:41,221
Oh, my goodness.

157
00:07:41,245 --> 00:07:44,487
Our little boy could never
sing like that before.

158
00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:47,582
Well, if you ask me,
he's not doing so well now.

159
00:07:49,586 --> 00:07:51,536
Mm. Remarkable.

160
00:07:51,613 --> 00:07:53,663
I thought the only way to
turn Bart into a little angel

161
00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:55,367
was a downed power line at a water park.

162
00:07:56,260 --> 00:07:57,667
Ah, you must be so proud.

163
00:07:57,744 --> 00:07:59,739
You really turned that boy around.

164
00:07:59,763 --> 00:08:01,212
Oh. Well...

165
00:08:01,289 --> 00:08:02,597
Congratulations,

166
00:08:02,674 --> 00:08:04,382
Ned Flanders.

167
00:08:04,459 --> 00:08:05,884
Yeah. Way to go there, Flanders.

168
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:07,580
You the man, Ned.

169
00:08:07,604 --> 00:08:10,272
Hey, you can't give him all the credit.

170
00:08:10,348 --> 00:08:12,649
We're the ones who messed
him up in the first place.

171
00:08:20,171 --> 00:08:24,569
Uh, listen, stupid Flanders,
I just want to say thank you,

172
00:08:24,646 --> 00:08:26,838
and if there's anything
I can do for you...

173
00:08:26,890 --> 00:08:28,698
Well, for starters,
you could stop calling me

174
00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:29,908
"stupid Flanders."

175
00:08:29,984 --> 00:08:31,476
Oh, here we go.

176
00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:32,577
No, that's it.

177
00:08:34,706 --> 00:08:36,776
Thank you, Flanders.

178
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:38,111
Was that so hard?

179
00:08:38,135 --> 00:08:40,468
He was laughing under that mustache.

180
00:08:41,996 --> 00:08:43,616
Bah?

181
00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:44,756
What are you doing here?

182
00:08:44,832 --> 00:08:46,549
Bart's actually doing math homework.

183
00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:48,593
I wanted to see it for myself.

184
00:08:48,670 --> 00:08:49,719
Bup-up-up-up!

185
00:08:49,796 --> 00:08:52,430
Listen, I can help my own kid.

186
00:08:52,507 --> 00:08:54,265
Uh, let's see.

187
00:08:54,342 --> 00:08:57,797
Four and two-thirds
plus five-sixths equals,

188
00:08:57,821 --> 00:09:00,772
uh, uh, carry the math...

189
00:09:00,848 --> 00:09:01,940
And, uh...

190
00:09:02,016 --> 00:09:04,067
Oh, no! The dog ate it!

191
00:09:06,854 --> 00:09:09,113
It's okay, Dad. I finished it.

192
00:09:09,190 --> 00:09:10,740
With Mr. Flanders' help.

193
00:09:11,674 --> 00:09:14,002
Well, it looks like I'm useless.

194
00:09:14,079 --> 00:09:17,214
Let me just walk away with my dignity.

195
00:09:19,009 --> 00:09:25,325
? Who can I turn to ?

196
00:09:25,349 --> 00:09:29,017
? When nobody needs me? ?

197
00:09:29,094 --> 00:09:31,061
My son doesn't love me.

198
00:09:31,062 --> 00:09:34,442
_

199
00:09:34,443 --> 00:09:37,851
_

200
00:09:38,134 --> 00:09:40,673
You don't get me at all.

201
00:09:40,697 --> 00:09:42,864
_

202
00:09:47,871 --> 00:09:49,988
- Hey, kid. I'm sad, too.
- Hmm?

203
00:09:50,064 --> 00:09:51,069
Haw-haw!

204
00:09:52,985 --> 00:09:54,784
You shouldn't be out here alone.

205
00:09:54,861 --> 00:09:57,379
Oh, nobody cares.

206
00:09:57,455 --> 00:09:58,621
My dad left.

207
00:09:58,698 --> 00:10:00,693
My mom's a drunk.

208
00:10:00,717 --> 00:10:04,052
My house is a trailer,
and all the wheels are flat.

209
00:10:04,129 --> 00:10:06,888
My last solid food was an ice cube.

210
00:10:06,965 --> 00:10:10,842
My TV is a milk crate
with a squirrel in it.

211
00:10:11,345 --> 00:10:12,727
This kid is such a wreck,

212
00:10:12,804 --> 00:10:14,374
even I could help him.

213
00:10:14,398 --> 00:10:17,732
Which I could use to get back at Bart.

214
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:23,813
I get my hair cut by
hiding in the bushes

215
00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:26,591
when the gardener comes by.

216
00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:27,692
Am I gonna do it?

217
00:10:29,771 --> 00:10:32,655
Is it wrong to take advantage
of one child's feelings

218
00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:35,033
to make another child feel bad?

219
00:10:35,109 --> 00:10:37,419
Nobody has the answer to that.

220
00:10:37,495 --> 00:10:39,537
Here, son. Let me help.

221
00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:46,502
Okay, okay. Enough snot.

222
00:10:51,793 --> 00:10:53,413
Mmm. Mmm!

223
00:10:53,437 --> 00:10:56,271
Say, uh, listen, kid,
how would you like a mentor?

224
00:10:56,348 --> 00:10:58,084
What's a mentor?

225
00:10:58,108 --> 00:11:00,775
A mentor is a special kind of teacher.

226
00:11:00,852 --> 00:11:02,518
But you don't know nothing.

227
00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:04,228
Hey, there's lots I can teach you.

228
00:11:04,305 --> 00:11:06,397
How to steal filling from a pie.

229
00:11:06,474 --> 00:11:08,261
How to get cookies without giving blood.

230
00:11:08,285 --> 00:11:10,618
How to use spearmint gum as a deodorant.

231
00:11:10,653 --> 00:11:13,099
And maybe I'll get
someone to fix your teeth.

232
00:11:13,123 --> 00:11:15,031
There's a doctor for your teeth?

233
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:16,114
Mm-hmm.

234
00:11:16,150 --> 00:11:17,241
Wow.

235
00:11:17,318 --> 00:11:20,106
Can you teach me how to do this maze?

236
00:11:20,130 --> 00:11:22,942
Well, it'll be a project
we can work on together.

237
00:11:22,966 --> 00:11:24,374
Cool.

238
00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:27,093
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm out of ketchup.

239
00:11:28,157 --> 00:11:30,088
I'll give it back

240
00:11:30,164 --> 00:11:32,474
when I'm done.

241
00:11:35,187 --> 00:11:36,478
Hello, Bart.

242
00:11:36,554 --> 00:11:39,430
Just wanted you to know
I'm going to Nelson's house.

243
00:11:39,507 --> 00:11:42,462
We're close. Super close.

244
00:11:42,486 --> 00:11:44,894
First of all, Dad, you called me.

245
00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:47,605
And second, are you mentoring Nelson

246
00:11:47,682 --> 00:11:49,607
just to get back at Bart?

247
00:11:49,684 --> 00:11:51,609
No! No way!

248
00:11:51,644 --> 00:11:54,829
But if you happen to see Bart,
show him these.

249
00:12:03,489 --> 00:12:05,123
Okay, kid,
I'm gonna teach you how to pack

250
00:12:05,199 --> 00:12:07,417
for when your wife
kicks you out of the house.

251
00:12:07,493 --> 00:12:09,752
Are the clothes thrown
out onto the front yard?

252
00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:12,347
Well, let's say you have
enough time to get a suitcase.

253
00:12:12,424 --> 00:12:13,681
What's a suitcase?

254
00:12:13,758 --> 00:12:16,467
Uh, all right,
let's move on to something else.

255
00:12:16,544 --> 00:12:20,230
Okay, but first I got to ask:
Are you sleeping with my mom?!

256
00:12:20,265 --> 00:12:21,834
- No.
- Oh.

257
00:12:21,858 --> 00:12:23,942
No one's ever said that!

258
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:28,980
That's what we're going for, boys.

259
00:12:29,056 --> 00:12:31,677
I can't believe we're gonna be
in the pride parade.

260
00:12:31,701 --> 00:12:33,179
Christian pride.

261
00:12:33,203 --> 00:12:36,279
Finally, Christians
can openly show our faith.

262
00:12:36,355 --> 00:12:38,448
We're sure! We're pure!

263
00:12:38,524 --> 00:12:39,852
Get used to it!

264
00:12:40,830 --> 00:12:44,023
Hey, Bart. Look who I taught
how to ride a bike.

265
00:12:44,047 --> 00:12:45,997
Nelson already knew how to ride a bike.

266
00:12:46,073 --> 00:12:49,292
Yeah, but he didn't know how
to make cool motorcycle noises.

267
00:13:01,881 --> 00:13:04,640
Uh, let me help you back on your hog.

268
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:08,186
Me and Nelson are so close,
people are calling us "Homeson."

269
00:13:08,262 --> 00:13:10,313
Homeson away!

270
00:13:13,434 --> 00:13:15,221
Homeson!

271
00:13:15,245 --> 00:13:17,223
Vroom.

272
00:13:17,247 --> 00:13:19,225
Mom, are you seeing all this?

273
00:13:19,249 --> 00:13:21,199
- Yes.
- Are you gonna do anything?

274
00:13:21,275 --> 00:13:23,251
- No.
- Why not?

275
00:13:23,702 --> 00:13:25,369
This is a complicated one.

276
00:13:25,446 --> 00:13:27,663
Both boys are being helped.

277
00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:31,501
What I'm trying to say is
it's time to change Maggie.

278
00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:33,595
Where are you, my little excuse?

279
00:13:36,580 --> 00:13:37,974
Sorry!

280
00:13:46,017 --> 00:13:48,421
Dad, what exactly
are you teaching Nelson?

281
00:13:48,445 --> 00:13:49,502
Uh...

282
00:13:50,241 --> 00:13:51,813
Banking.

283
00:13:51,878 --> 00:13:53,323
Aiming for success.

284
00:13:55,243 --> 00:13:57,335
And breaking into the music industry.

285
00:13:58,446 --> 00:13:59,454
Here's $40.

286
00:13:59,531 --> 00:14:01,434
That's a lot of money to me.

287
00:14:01,458 --> 00:14:05,126
But I want you to get some
therapy about what you're doing.

288
00:14:05,203 --> 00:14:07,962
40 bucks' worth of therapy coming up.

289
00:14:08,039 --> 00:14:09,797
From a licensed therapist.

290
00:14:09,874 --> 00:14:11,874
Moe has a liquor license.

291
00:14:11,951 --> 00:14:14,585
Yeah, let's not discuss that too much.

292
00:14:14,662 --> 00:14:16,587
Take the money. Get some help.

293
00:14:16,664 --> 00:14:19,090
Why are you doing this?

294
00:14:19,166 --> 00:14:21,551
Dad, I have to be the voice of morality.

295
00:14:21,627 --> 00:14:23,144
No, you don't.

296
00:14:23,179 --> 00:14:25,480
Well, I like
being the voice of morality.

297
00:14:25,557 --> 00:14:29,100
And I like believing this
role has not typecast me!

298
00:14:29,176 --> 00:14:31,797
I can still do Shakespeare!

299
00:14:31,821 --> 00:14:35,439
All that glitters is
not delicious Duff Gold!

300
00:14:35,516 --> 00:14:37,158
To pee or not to pee!

301
00:14:37,235 --> 00:14:38,734
There is no question!

302
00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:40,306
Oh, no!

303
00:14:40,330 --> 00:14:42,503
Excuse me. Got to pee.

304
00:14:45,410 --> 00:14:46,646
Doc,

305
00:14:46,670 --> 00:14:48,286
I see it all so clearly now.

306
00:14:48,362 --> 00:14:51,817
I'm afraid of success because
my father never had time for me.

307
00:14:51,841 --> 00:14:53,457
- Which means...
- Time's up.

308
00:14:53,534 --> 00:14:55,793
- But two more minutes...
- It's not a breakthrough.

309
00:14:55,870 --> 00:14:58,658
Ah, now I feel worse
than when I came in.

310
00:14:58,682 --> 00:15:00,306
See you next month.

311
00:15:01,792 --> 00:15:04,163
Okay. 40 bucks gets you ten minutes. Go!

312
00:15:04,187 --> 00:15:07,166
I was mentoring another
kid to make my son jealous,

313
00:15:07,190 --> 00:15:09,140
and something weird happened.

314
00:15:09,216 --> 00:15:11,642
I'm actually starting
to like the little dingus.

315
00:15:11,719 --> 00:15:12,768
Help me.

316
00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:14,696
I am appalled!

317
00:15:14,772 --> 00:15:18,441
You are ruining two boys'
lives for your own petty ego.

318
00:15:18,517 --> 00:15:20,680
Let me tell you what
a good therapist says.

319
00:15:20,704 --> 00:15:24,372
A good therapist says,
"Whatever you do is right"!

320
00:15:24,449 --> 00:15:25,748
- That's only if you're rich.
- D'oh!

321
00:15:29,130 --> 00:15:31,357
Mentor entering!

322
00:15:31,381 --> 00:15:32,830
Hey, Homer, honey.

323
00:15:32,907 --> 00:15:34,860
Come on, spend a minute with Mama.

324
00:15:34,884 --> 00:15:37,168
Look, lady, I'm not interested in...

325
00:15:37,244 --> 00:15:38,864
- What the...?
- I know.

326
00:15:38,888 --> 00:15:41,033
You're just spending time with my son

327
00:15:41,057 --> 00:15:44,058
to make your son jealous.

328
00:15:44,135 --> 00:15:48,179
Sooner or later, you're gonna
leave him, like all the rest.

329
00:15:56,764 --> 00:15:57,813
Mm-hmm.

330
00:15:59,409 --> 00:16:00,691
And it'll break his heart.

331
00:16:00,768 --> 00:16:02,888
Hey, I'm not here to save the world.

332
00:16:02,912 --> 00:16:06,080
I'm a mentor.
I come in, I ment, then I go.

333
00:16:12,414 --> 00:16:14,330
Tell that boy the truth.

334
00:16:21,288 --> 00:16:23,214
Son, we need to talk.

335
00:16:23,290 --> 00:16:25,883
No. No. I know where this goes.

336
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,102
It ends with you giving me
a phone number

337
00:16:28,179 --> 00:16:30,104
that starts with 555.

338
00:16:30,181 --> 00:16:31,514
No! Wait!

339
00:16:31,590 --> 00:16:33,024
What do you have to say?

340
00:16:33,943 --> 00:16:35,777
I was only mentoring you

341
00:16:35,853 --> 00:16:38,924
to punish my son for
becoming a better boy.

342
00:16:38,948 --> 00:16:41,115
- I knew it!
- Where are you going?

343
00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:43,429
I'm gonna get even.
I can't make you stay,

344
00:16:43,453 --> 00:16:46,287
but I can take it out on your kid.

345
00:16:46,364 --> 00:16:48,906
Not Bart! I do love him!

346
00:16:51,341 --> 00:16:53,065
_

347
00:16:55,777 --> 00:16:57,236
_

348
00:17:05,809 --> 00:17:07,178
_

349
00:17:07,202 --> 00:17:08,976
We're Christians!
We're proud!

350
00:17:09,053 --> 00:17:11,123
But don't say it too loud.

351
00:17:11,147 --> 00:17:14,223
Holding hands are holy hands.

352
00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:16,267
Ew. Are you wearing lotion?

353
00:17:16,343 --> 00:17:18,297
I'm very chappy.

354
00:17:20,848 --> 00:17:22,782
_

355
00:17:42,957 --> 00:17:44,043
_

356
00:17:52,326 --> 00:17:54,434
- _
- Uh, welcome, er, uh, Christians.

357
00:17:54,493 --> 00:17:57,433
God is pleased to thank
our corporate sponsor,

358
00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:59,059
C. Montgomery Burns.

359
00:18:00,387 --> 00:18:02,146
Why won't you die?

360
00:18:02,223 --> 00:18:04,699
Mr. Burns will take questions later.

361
00:18:04,776 --> 00:18:07,535
Er, uh, thanks
to this magnificent parade,

362
00:18:07,612 --> 00:18:11,372
you right-wing ding-dongs
will keep me in office forever.

363
00:18:11,449 --> 00:18:12,498
Yay!

364
00:18:14,730 --> 00:18:17,620
And now, at the spectacular
culmination of the parade,

365
00:18:17,696 --> 00:18:20,526
when the final float has
safely cleared the route,

366
00:18:20,550 --> 00:18:22,550
a giant pair of praying hands

367
00:18:22,627 --> 00:18:24,864
will swing from the sides of the street

368
00:18:24,888 --> 00:18:27,597
and come together in holy union.

369
00:18:33,379 --> 00:18:34,637
He's gonna crush Bart!

370
00:18:34,713 --> 00:18:36,041
Where's Flanders now?

371
00:18:36,065 --> 00:18:37,577
Right here. What do you need?

372
00:18:37,673 --> 00:18:39,809
Get away from me!

373
00:18:55,442 --> 00:18:58,828
No...!

374
00:19:06,676 --> 00:19:07,406
Hi, Dad.

375
00:19:07,430 --> 00:19:10,506
Son, you want to ride in
the ambulance together?

376
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:12,767
Aw. That's always been our thing.

377
00:19:14,512 --> 00:19:15,645
Aw.

378
00:19:18,757 --> 00:19:20,558
- Dad?
- Yes, son?

379
00:19:20,634 --> 00:19:22,852
Can I have a hit off your oxygen?

380
00:19:22,928 --> 00:19:24,728
Of course.

381
00:19:26,473 --> 00:19:27,949
I'm a great dad.

382
00:19:30,221 --> 00:19:32,008
_

383
00:19:32,968 --> 00:19:34,598
_

384
00:19:36,534 --> 00:19:39,627
I'm sorry I was using you.
You're a sweet kid.

385
00:19:39,704 --> 00:19:42,107
One day we'll have a beer
about this and laugh.

386
00:19:42,131 --> 00:19:43,747
- Can it be tomorrow?
- Sure.

387
00:19:43,824 --> 00:19:47,376
But for today,
I know a certain stupid someone

388
00:19:47,453 --> 00:19:50,880
who might be a little
better at this than me.

389
00:19:54,552 --> 00:19:57,386
- What's the matter, son?
- Ah, you wouldn't understand.

390
00:19:57,463 --> 00:19:59,263
A rich church usher like you.

391
00:19:59,340 --> 00:20:01,390
Hey, I got two troublemakers of my own.

392
00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:03,317
Who told you boys you
could clean up this dump?

393
00:20:03,394 --> 00:20:04,635
No one.

394
00:20:04,712 --> 00:20:06,487
I think I just might
understand how you feel.

395
00:20:06,564 --> 00:20:09,106
You lost a dad.
I lost two Mrs. Flanderses.

396
00:20:09,183 --> 00:20:11,637
Maybe my boys and I could take
you to a ball game sometime.

397
00:20:11,661 --> 00:20:13,639
- What do you say?
- Papa!

398
00:20:13,663 --> 00:20:16,272
Yay! We have a brother!

399
00:20:16,365 --> 00:20:19,511
- Mean foster brother.
- Yay!

400
00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:26,749
God bless Rod and Todd and
especially my wonderful mentor,

401
00:20:26,825 --> 00:20:28,459
Mr. Flanders.

402
00:20:28,535 --> 00:20:29,822
Amen.

403
00:20:29,846 --> 00:20:32,346
Let me get fresh napkins for everyone.

404
00:20:33,207 --> 00:20:34,665
Hey, how's it going?

405
00:20:34,742 --> 00:20:38,185
Still can't believe you've
renounced the way of the bully.

406
00:20:38,262 --> 00:20:40,813
Eh, what can I say? People change.

407
00:20:42,174 --> 00:20:44,025
Thaw-thaw!

408
00:20:51,183 --> 00:20:54,013
Tell me again,
why did I trade Flanders for you?

409
00:20:54,037 --> 00:20:56,445
Because we can do this.

410
00:20:56,936 --> 00:20:57,950
Ow!

411
00:21:29,999 --> 00:21:31,155
Shh!

412
00:21:34,290 --> 00:21:36,795
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