1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,921 ? It seems today that all you see ? 2 00:00:04,922 --> 00:00:08,174 ? Is violence in movies and sex on TV ? 3 00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:11,844 ? But where are those good old-fashioned values ? 4 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,847 ? On which we used to rely? ? 5 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:18,184 ? Lucky there's a family guy ? 6 00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:21,604 ? Lucky there's a man who positively can do ? 7 00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,189 ? All the things that make us ? 8 00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:24,690 ? Laugh and cry ? 9 00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:30,155 ? He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ? 10 00:00:31,073 --> 00:00:34,076 - Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT - - www.addic7ed.com - 11 00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:39,956 Ah! This is so exciting! 12 00:00:39,957 --> 00:00:42,124 I can't believe Daddy actually bought 13 00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:44,001 a Minor League Baseball team. 14 00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:46,003 I love coming to the ballpark. 15 00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:49,131 Drunken Irish in front of a fishbowl of minorities. 16 00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:50,550 What could go wrong? 17 00:00:53,345 --> 00:00:54,971 Dad, what are you doing? 18 00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:56,597 This is tailgating, son. 19 00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:58,099 It's where you bring all your trash 20 00:00:58,100 --> 00:00:59,934 and you leave it for someone else to deal with. 21 00:00:59,935 --> 00:01:02,270 Here, help me get this Christmas tree out of the back. 22 00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:11,112 Meg's estrogen supplements? 23 00:01:11,113 --> 00:01:13,322 I'll take that. Thank you. 24 00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:15,616 So, what do you think of your first tailgate, Stewie? 25 00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:16,659 It's so great. 26 00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:18,327 Dad gave me a sip of beer. 27 00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,371 I'm gonna mention that to my teacher, 28 00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:21,914 and it's gonna be a big problem. 29 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,708 Oh, there's Bonnie. 30 00:01:23,709 --> 00:01:26,210 We always have so much fun at these things. 31 00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:28,504 Hey, Bonnie, who's on first? 32 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:31,966 Who, the person's name or the pronoun? 33 00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:34,260 Ha! And it goes on like this. 34 00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:35,678 Hey, Joe, how's it going? 35 00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:37,346 Sorry, Peter, no time to talk. 36 00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:39,265 - It's my day to shine. - What? 37 00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:41,726 Yeah. Handicapped person at the ballpark... 38 00:01:41,727 --> 00:01:44,478 Ramps, private escort, meet the team. 39 00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:46,188 Is there a Joe Swanson? 40 00:01:46,189 --> 00:01:47,940 Right here! 41 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:50,443 Meet me at that sad balcony! 42 00:01:53,989 --> 00:01:55,239 Well, here it is. 43 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:56,407 What do you think? 44 00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:58,326 Wow, Daddy, it's beautiful! 45 00:01:58,327 --> 00:01:59,869 Yeah, it's really great up here. 46 00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:01,662 There's free food, a bar, 47 00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:04,165 and you can drop a plastic spider on a string 48 00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:06,334 - on your friends below. - Really? 49 00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:08,002 Go, Quahog! 50 00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:11,505 I fell trying to lower a spider. 51 00:02:11,506 --> 00:02:13,174 Good afternoon, fans, 52 00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:15,593 and welcome to Minor League Baseball. 53 00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:18,429 I'm your announcer, Johnny "Feedback" Robinson, 54 00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:19,680 here to tell you about all the... 55 00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:21,349 Whoa! Hold on, hold on. 56 00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:22,933 Step back from the mic. 57 00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:24,060 Like this? 58 00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,269 Okay? 59 00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:27,438 Now for tonight's starting lineup! 60 00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:28,898 First, your coach, 61 00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:31,275 Frank "Cardiac Arrest" Ross. 62 00:02:32,361 --> 00:02:33,861 And the pitching coach, 63 00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:37,365 Bill "Doesn't Know CPR" McGillicuddy. 64 00:02:37,366 --> 00:02:39,867 Damn it! Where am I gonna get another coach? 65 00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:42,745 I'm on vacation! 66 00:02:42,746 --> 00:02:44,705 Aw, darn. That would've been funny. 67 00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:47,458 Hey, Griffin, you want to be a Minor League Baseball coach? 68 00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:48,459 Seriously? 69 00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:49,877 Heck yeah, I do! 70 00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:51,420 Oh, man, I haven't been this excited 71 00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:53,130 since I met Cool Hand Luke. 72 00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:57,134 Wow. You got a cool hand, Luke. 73 00:02:57,135 --> 00:02:59,387 Yeah, well, he doesn't follow the crowd. 74 00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:02,264 He plays by his own rules, and women respond to that. 75 00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:03,724 Check this out. 76 00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:06,394 "Hey, baby. You're looking fine." 77 00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:09,605 "Mmm. Oh, yeah. 78 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:11,148 Mmm. Mmm." 79 00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:12,566 Oh, that's hot. 80 00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:13,984 You mind if I get in on that? 81 00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:16,404 "Oh, yeah. 82 00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:17,446 "Mmm. 83 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:18,739 "Just FYI, 84 00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:21,659 I'm either gonna finish too quick or not at all." 85 00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:23,828 All right, Griffin, that cutaway convinced me 86 00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:25,663 that you are, in fact, sure of this. 87 00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:27,957 Now get down in that dugout and do your job, Coach. 88 00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:29,375 Aw, thanks, Carter! 89 00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:30,668 I won't let you down, 90 00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:33,587 or my name's not Peter "Little Bingo" Griffin. 91 00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:35,297 All right, little bingo. Let's go. 92 00:03:35,298 --> 00:03:37,174 Little bingo here. Not a lot of bingo. 93 00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:38,759 Don't want to play bingo for a long time. 94 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,177 Short game of bingo. 95 00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:41,595 Don't even have to play a little bingo. 96 00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:42,930 Could play a little banjo. 97 00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:44,682 Whoa, this guy knows what he's doing. 98 00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:46,851 I don't know. I'm not convinced yet. 99 00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:48,936 Ducks on the pond, guys, ducks on the pond. 100 00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:50,646 Chewing up bits of bread, pooping in the pond. 101 00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:52,189 Ducks on the pond. Some of 'em brown, 102 00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:53,274 some of 'em prettier... All of 'em ducks. 103 00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:54,316 Ducks on the pond. 104 00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:57,612 I would follow him into hell. 105 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:03,325 Morning, team. 106 00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:05,786 Peter, do you really have to wear those in the house? 107 00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:08,205 Yes, I do. I'm a baseball coach now. 108 00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:10,292 You knew that when you married me. 109 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,335 Peter, you want some eggs? 110 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,630 I actually brought my own breakfast today, thank you. 111 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:18,924 Ow. Gross! 112 00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:20,259 What the hell, Dad? 113 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,803 Meg, can I, um... 114 00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,806 can I see you in my office, please? 115 00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:28,392 Hey, thanks for coming. Take a seat. 116 00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:30,895 - What's up? - This is... 117 00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:33,105 This is really the toughest part of the business, isn't it? 118 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,982 Oh, my God, are you trading me? 119 00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,275 Look, it's nothing personal. 120 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,277 You've been very professional as a family member, 121 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,321 but... here's the thing... 122 00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:42,490 We're sending you down to American Dad. 123 00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:44,408 No! What? No! 124 00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:46,035 Look, they're not excited about it either. 125 00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:47,328 I guess I could call The Orville. 126 00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:50,623 I'll do American Dad. 127 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,253 Okay, boys, this is it. Bottom of the ninth. 128 00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:58,422 We just need a bleep, a bloop, a walk, a balk, 129 00:04:58,423 --> 00:05:00,382 another balk, and, of course, a little bingo. 130 00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:01,384 Let's go! 131 00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:07,515 That's it, boys! Walk-off home run! 132 00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:09,141 Get out there and tear his clothes off! 133 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,351 He just won for us! 134 00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:11,603 Get him! 135 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,690 Yeah! Punch him! 136 00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:17,900 Good! Curb him! 137 00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:19,735 Okay, now pull his shirt over his head 138 00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,111 and waterboard him with the Gatorade. 139 00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:22,530 Yes! Cut him with knives! 140 00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:24,698 Good! Burn him with fire! Yes! 141 00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:26,534 Way to go, you! 142 00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:29,287 All this is happening because you did something well. 143 00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:37,878 I'm sorry, Lois. 144 00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:39,296 I, I'm gassed. 145 00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:41,090 What's wrong? You want me to get the wedge? 146 00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:43,300 - What's going on, Coach? - I'm losing it. 147 00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:44,802 Maybe we should call in the kid. 148 00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:45,886 Hey, no problem. 149 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:47,096 You went eight full minutes. 150 00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:49,140 Bring in the kid! 151 00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:04,613 All right. Bring us home, kid, bring us home. 152 00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:06,115 Little bingo. Ducks on the pond, 153 00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:07,741 furry ducks, little man in a boat. 154 00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:10,328 If you can find it, you're a better man than I am. 155 00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:16,250 I can't believe the Quahog Whooping Scalpers 156 00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:18,252 are actually going to the playoffs this year. 157 00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:20,212 To Coach Griffin! 158 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,922 Hey, thanks, guys. 159 00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:25,009 All right, it's time for me to Oakley-load for tonight's game. 160 00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:26,719 Okay. Forehead Oakleys, 161 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:27,845 round-the-neck Oakleys, 162 00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,179 brim-of-the-cap Oakleys, 163 00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:30,347 back-of-the-head Oakleys, 164 00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:31,932 tucked-into-my-shirt-collar Oakleys, 165 00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:34,101 Everglades fan boat Oakleys, 166 00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:35,686 and Ray-Bans for my eyes, 167 00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:37,980 because Oakleys are terrible. 168 00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:43,736 All right, it's Bucket-O-Shrimp Night, 169 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:47,114 brought to you by Rocco's Lukewarm Refrigerator Trucks. 170 00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:49,867 Rocco's... We got it there, didn't we? 171 00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:51,952 Hmm. 172 00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:55,748 That child's beach toy full of gray baseball stadium shellfish 173 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,583 isn't sitting right for some reason. 174 00:06:57,584 --> 00:07:00,337 Maybe I should smoke a cigarette for the first time ever. 175 00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:06,091 Okay, not a fix for now 176 00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,552 but definitely something I immediately want to keep doing. 177 00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:10,471 Probably best to just add something hot 178 00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:11,930 and acidic to the mix. 179 00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:13,098 Burnt coffee! 180 00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:15,768 Get your burnt, re-microwaved coffee! 181 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:17,103 I'll take one! 182 00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:23,150 Oh, boy. 183 00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:25,903 Mr. Pewterschmidt, I think I have to go to the bathroom, sir. 184 00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:28,238 Not now. We're about to do the national anthem. 185 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,837 Oh, boy. 186 00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:45,589 It's like Medusa's hair in there. 187 00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:48,133 I can't stop it. 188 00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:51,136 Must... sit in a way... 189 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:53,472 that pinches my sphincter... 190 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,598 shut. 191 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,355 Oh, my! 192 00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:02,940 Looks like Coach Peter Griffin 193 00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:05,859 is taking a knee during your national anthem. 194 00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:07,277 I'm Canadian. 195 00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:09,530 What is he thinking "aboot"? 196 00:08:09,531 --> 00:08:10,614 What's he doing? 197 00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:12,825 He's not protesting the anthem, is he? 198 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,370 Uh-oh. 199 00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:17,621 Shrimp buckets! 200 00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:19,123 All-you-can-eat shrimp! 201 00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:20,750 Right here, dude. 202 00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:28,465 Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker, 203 00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:30,467 joined tonight by a very special guest, 204 00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:33,303 Channel Five's own Tom Tucker Senior, 205 00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:35,806 who hasn't been on the air since 1964. 206 00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:37,224 Take it away, Dad. 207 00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:38,392 Thanks, Tom. 208 00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:39,643 More and more women are choosing 209 00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:41,228 to work outside the home. 210 00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:42,813 I call them prostitutes... 211 00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:44,481 And that's a wrap for Tom Senior. 212 00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:45,858 Our top story tonight, 213 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:48,068 local baseball coach Peter Griffin 214 00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:50,154 took a knee during the national anthem today, 215 00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:52,281 joining the fight for equalit. 216 00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:53,866 Well, just finished a load. 217 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,325 Gonna do the laundry next. 218 00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:56,785 Dad, check it out! 219 00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:59,705 You're on the news for taking a knee during the anthem. 220 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,206 - What? - They called you a hero 221 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:02,666 and an activist. 222 00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:03,834 - A hero? - Yeah. 223 00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:05,169 Because you took a knee to support the fight 224 00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:07,045 against police brutality. 225 00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:10,048 Yeah, yes. That's what I did. 226 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:12,468 I can't believe my dad's a hero. 227 00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:13,927 Oh, I'm no hero. 228 00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:17,097 I'm just a white guy doing what black people were already doing. 229 00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:18,849 In other words, a hero. 230 00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:21,685 Well, can I just say, as the famed family liberal, 231 00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:23,937 I think this activism is great, Peter. 232 00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:26,064 Doesn't matter if it's me or, say, you 233 00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:28,233 who gets applauded for his progressive thinking, 234 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:29,860 as long as the message is out there. 235 00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:31,153 Thank you, Brian. 236 00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:34,281 Wow. You-you are furious. 237 00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:36,575 Not at all. As long as the message gets out there. 238 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,619 I'm no different than my peers... Rosa Parks, 239 00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:41,205 Nelson Mandela, Dr. Martin Luther King. 240 00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:43,081 Hey, did you ever notice he has the names "Doc" 241 00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:44,374 and "Marty" in his name? 242 00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:46,543 - Let it go. - Hello, Twitter. 243 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,424 And I have to move out again. 244 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,219 I don't know, Peter. 245 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,887 This all seems weird. 246 00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:59,139 You never been interested in these issues before. 247 00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:02,476 A-Are you sure you're not just exploiting a real social issue 248 00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:04,853 so that people can call you a hero? 249 00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:06,980 - You heard Tom Tucker. - I'm an activist now. 250 00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,440 I'm gonna go down in history, 251 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,067 like my great-great-grandfather, 252 00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:12,778 John Wilkes Photo Booth Griffin. 253 00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:26,124 We now return to Seinfeld, 254 00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:29,962 which keeps getting edited down more and more for syndication. 255 00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:32,172 No soup for... 256 00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,549 Funny show. 257 00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:36,760 Drinks are on me tonight, thanks to your boy Peter. 258 00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:38,136 Wow. Thanks, Jerome. 259 00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:40,764 Well, thank you for supporting the cause. 260 00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:43,183 Wow, people just give you things now? 261 00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:45,060 Yeah. Being an activist is great. 262 00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:47,271 I get all kinds of respect now. Check it out. 263 00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:49,357 Here comes Cher to congratulate me. 264 00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:53,652 Peter, that's just a barstool with a fur coat draped over it. 265 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:54,945 Oh. 266 00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:57,532 Well, I see Robert De Niro headed this way. 267 00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:01,827 That's a trash can with a moldy pumpkin on top. 268 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:05,540 Ah. Well, I definitely see Michael Rapaport over there. 269 00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:10,294 That's someone's Boston Market that fell on the floor. 270 00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:12,045 - Peter, you okay? - Yeah, so many liberals 271 00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:14,798 patted me on the back today that I lost my glasses. 272 00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:17,301 We're proud of you, Peter. 273 00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:22,390 In some comics, this means I'm sleeping. 274 00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:27,644 All right. In order to prove I'm an activist, 275 00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:30,314 I need to yell at people who are just trying to buy milk 276 00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:32,232 on their way home from work. 277 00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:34,026 Hello. Hi. 278 00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,319 Have a nice day. 279 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:36,653 Hi there. Hello. 280 00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:38,655 Do you have a minute to save a child's life? 281 00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:40,198 Yeah. I guess. 282 00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:42,242 You got a minute. Ticktock. 283 00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:43,577 What are you doing? 284 00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:44,870 30 seconds now. 285 00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:45,871 I'm listening. 286 00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,331 What am I even convincing you of? 287 00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:50,250 Tell me why Smokey the Bear wears jeans but no shirt. 288 00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:51,460 Why would they do that?! 289 00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:55,173 - Is that what this is all about? - That's what this is all about. 290 00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:02,179 Peter, what the hell? 291 00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:04,056 It's okay, it's okay. 292 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,182 "I voted." 293 00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:07,059 So... yeah. 294 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,061 - What does that matter?! - Oh, well, I'm a part 295 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,355 of the national conversation now, and I voted. 296 00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:13,565 So my hands are kinda tied, so... 297 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:14,775 yeah. 298 00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:16,360 You know what? This whole activism thing 299 00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:18,111 has gone on long enough. 300 00:12:18,112 --> 00:12:20,864 You knelt at one game. It's not like opportunity's 301 00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:23,909 gonna come knocking on the door, offering you money for it. 302 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:28,205 Hi. I'm the president of Nike. 303 00:12:28,206 --> 00:12:29,456 How'd you like some money? 304 00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:31,208 For crying out loud! 305 00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:33,293 Mr. Griffin, we heard about your protest 306 00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:36,046 and we no-heartedly believe that, with your help, 307 00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:39,466 we can conflate buying our products with genuine activism. 308 00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:41,259 - I voted. - Yes. 309 00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:43,428 And now we want to give you a lot of money 310 00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:45,097 to star in a commercial for us. 311 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,140 - What do you say? - Well, I have two questions. 312 00:12:47,141 --> 00:12:49,393 - Will there be a stipend? - Yes. 313 00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:51,436 Ah. And what is a stipend? 314 00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:53,230 It's a fee for being in the commercial. 315 00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:54,564 I'm in. 316 00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:58,151 How do you know what's inside you 317 00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:00,570 unless you test yourself? 318 00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:02,072 Don't do one push-up, 319 00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:03,782 do 100. 320 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,701 Don't run one mile, 321 00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,786 run a marathon. 322 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,329 Don't have one family, 323 00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:13,208 have a second family all the way across the country. 324 00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:15,252 Don't just have a second family, 325 00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:19,298 have a third family in Santa Fe with an alternative lifestyle. 326 00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:22,926 Don't spend any time with the first two families, 327 00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:25,137 make a commitment to family number three, 328 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,139 and double down by announcing it 329 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:29,350 at his war-hero father's retirement party. 330 00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:33,645 Don't go to the funeral, 331 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:36,023 'cause, remember, you got two other families to deal with 332 00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:37,858 and a marathon to train for. 333 00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:40,861 Don't just let Kenneth walk out of your life, 334 00:13:40,862 --> 00:13:42,447 take his life from him. 335 00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:44,948 Don't just go to jail, 336 00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:47,909 go to death row by killing the two other families. 337 00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:51,455 Don't just let anyone have their closure by apologizing, 338 00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:54,124 send a message that you're not afraid of hell. 339 00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:55,334 (BLEEP) 340 00:13:57,962 --> 00:13:59,463 Nike. 341 00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:02,425 You may not know this, but our full name is Nichael. 342 00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:09,973 Oh, my God! Peter Griffin! 343 00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:11,808 - Can I have your autograph? - Sure. 344 00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:14,186 My friends are not gonna believe I met you. 345 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,645 'Cause I'm a known liar. 346 00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:18,523 - Okay. - I love you. You're my hero. 347 00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,358 I can fly. 348 00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:23,196 Okay, I'm ready to move on to the next person. 349 00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:26,198 Well, now I don't know what to believe. 350 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,033 Carter. What are you doing here? 351 00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:29,993 Peter, ever since you made that stupid commercial, 352 00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:31,828 my ticket sales have tanked! 353 00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:33,205 Thanks to you, people now think 354 00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,831 the Quahog Whooping Scalpers are racist! 355 00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:36,792 You want me to sign your boobs? 356 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,169 Peter, your kneeling days are over. 357 00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:41,254 Two strikes, two outs, bottom of the ninth, 358 00:14:41,255 --> 00:14:43,090 down by one, bases loaded, Pewterschmidt up. 359 00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:45,050 Carter! Carter! 360 00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:47,052 He grounded out in the second, struck out in the fifth. 361 00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:48,553 Hasn't been his day. 362 00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,180 Here's the wind-up, the pitch... 363 00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:52,182 Strike three! And he knew it. 364 00:14:57,188 --> 00:14:58,396 Aw. Cute. 365 00:14:58,397 --> 00:14:59,690 Look at the little birds. 366 00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:05,863 Oh. Disney's not gonna like that. 367 00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:13,411 Cleveland? 368 00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:15,789 Wha... Where am I? 369 00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:18,208 Welcome to WaQuahog. 370 00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:28,718 Oh, my God. 371 00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:30,846 Why wasn't this The Cleveland Show? 372 00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:34,892 This entire episode would have been our season five premiere. 373 00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:46,570 What happened to me? Where am I? 374 00:15:46,571 --> 00:15:48,446 Have you ever seen Black Panther? 375 00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:50,157 No. No. God, no. 376 00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:53,118 Well, this is WaQuahog, a secret part of Quahog 377 00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:56,079 with technology more advanced than any nation. 378 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,664 We brought you here to help you 379 00:15:57,665 --> 00:16:00,125 after you were attacked for your activism. 380 00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:02,252 Really? So I'm the only white guy 381 00:16:02,253 --> 00:16:04,087 who knows WaQuahog exists? 382 00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:06,965 Well, you and one Postmates guy. 383 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,925 Hey, I got your Taco Bell breakfast. 384 00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:10,302 Thanks. 385 00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:13,305 Oh. I don't, uh, I don't see a soda with that. 386 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:14,347 Oh, yeah, sorry. 387 00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:16,850 Um... do you want me to go back? 388 00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:18,852 Well, I mean... kinda. 389 00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:21,354 Okay, but since it's WaQuahog it'll probably be, like, 390 00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:23,690 - 45 minutes, at least. - Yeah. I mean, 391 00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:26,818 I ordered the soda 'cause I wanted the soda. 392 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,445 Okay, man. 393 00:16:28,446 --> 00:16:31,198 - See you in, like, an hour. - Right on. 394 00:16:31,199 --> 00:16:33,450 You better give him a big tip. 395 00:16:33,451 --> 00:16:37,162 Pretty sure the tip is already built into the service charge. 396 00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:46,671 Wow! So this is, like, a secret kingdom 397 00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:48,381 cut off from the rest of the world? 398 00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:50,425 We got everything you need down here. 399 00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:52,802 Even our own WaQuahog TV channel. 400 00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:54,221 Oh, The Jeffersons. 401 00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:57,098 Yeah, but they edit all the shows for syndication. 402 00:16:57,099 --> 00:17:01,896 - Weezy... - ? Mmm... yeah. ? 403 00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:09,069 - Now LeBron's a Laker. - A Laker's now LeBron. 404 00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:10,320 Yeah, that's not really working out, 405 00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:12,155 but thanks for having me here, guys. 406 00:17:12,156 --> 00:17:13,531 It is our pleasure. 407 00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:15,033 We want to thank you. 408 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,577 By taking a knee, you showed the world 409 00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:20,997 that you see the terrible injustices our people face. 410 00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:25,460 Of course, being an activist, you already know all about them. 411 00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:26,795 Oh, boy. 412 00:17:26,796 --> 00:17:28,296 This is more uncomfortable 413 00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:30,882 than sports announcers in a too-small booth. 414 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,134 So, the Cowboys come in to today's game 415 00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:35,095 winners of four of their last five. 416 00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:36,972 So, Troy, what do they need to do 417 00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:38,640 to beat this Eagles team today? 418 00:17:38,641 --> 00:17:40,517 Well, Joe, you and I were talking 419 00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:42,936 over chopped liver and coffee this morning, 420 00:17:42,937 --> 00:17:45,480 and we said it has to start with the run game. 421 00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:46,982 I remember after that 422 00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:48,942 we Lady-and-the-Tramp'd a croissant together 423 00:17:48,943 --> 00:17:51,695 and said this O-line needs to get healthy. 424 00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:54,322 That's right, Joe. And I hope the viewers out there 425 00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:57,158 can see by the fact that our lips are almost touching 426 00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:59,995 that we are truly excited about today's matchup. 427 00:17:59,996 --> 00:18:02,998 Straight from your mouth into mine, partner. 428 00:18:02,999 --> 00:18:05,542 We do hope you'll join us in protest 429 00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:07,335 by kneeling at the next game. 430 00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:09,004 You bet I will! 431 00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:11,214 C-Can I, can I just ask one question, though? 432 00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:12,882 What are Migos? 433 00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:17,762 Peter, everyone has to find out what Migos are for themselves. 434 00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:24,561 A lot of eyes on you today, Griffin. 435 00:18:24,562 --> 00:18:26,646 I'm counting on you to do the right thing. 436 00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:28,690 The only kneelin' I want around here is Kevin. 437 00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:29,816 Hey, Mr. Pewterschmidt... 438 00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:31,568 Front row seats... thanks for having me at the game. 439 00:18:31,569 --> 00:18:33,903 Pleased to meet you, Kevin. I've got some seats for you 440 00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:35,655 - in the front row. - Oh, great! Thanks! 441 00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:37,324 - Line of coke. Lead the way. - Sure. 442 00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:39,659 Hey, what do you say we take a pit stop in the... 443 00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:41,119 little boys' room. 444 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:44,122 And now, please rise for our national anthem 445 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,957 to be sung by Kevin Nealon. 446 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,918 And I have no idea how he convinced me of that. 447 00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:51,297 I thought we were just talking about other things. 448 00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:57,010 Oh, man. I don't know what to do. 449 00:18:57,011 --> 00:18:58,887 Kneel with us, brother. 450 00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:01,181 Whoa! 451 00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:03,391 That is good bathroom cocaine. 452 00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:04,976 Somebody's in this stall! 453 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,020 That's it! 454 00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,313 Hey, listen up, everyone. 455 00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:10,315 I have something I need to come clean about. 456 00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:14,903 Cleveland, people of WaQuahog, 457 00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:18,239 I didn't kneel during the anthem because I was an activist. 458 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,825 I kneeled because I had fairly brutal diarrhea, 459 00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:22,369 and I'm sorry. 460 00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:24,871 If I could take it back, I would still kneel, 461 00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:26,915 but for the right reasons now. 462 00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:28,625 I see the struggle you face, 463 00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:30,711 and you deserve everyone's support. 464 00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:34,506 And, Carter, I know you're just trying to honor the troops. 465 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,424 - I never said that. - But, honestly, 466 00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:38,218 why are we even playing the national anthem 467 00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:39,636 at a sports event? 468 00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:42,430 It's not a solemn occasion, like a military funeral 469 00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:45,392 or, or sex between Salma Hayek and Ed Norton. 470 00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:46,393 It's a game. 471 00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:48,228 The problem isn't with each other, 472 00:19:48,229 --> 00:19:49,562 it's with the song. 473 00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:52,565 We need a new song, one that unites all people. 474 00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:55,068 Why is your phone all pink and sparkly? 475 00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:57,195 - You're talking about it, aren't you? - Oh, snap. 476 00:19:57,196 --> 00:20:01,366 Ladies and gentlemen, I give you your new national anthem. 477 00:20:16,924 --> 00:20:18,591 ? Yeehaw! ? 478 00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:19,801 ? Here we go ? 479 00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:22,804 I'm making my way to the bathroom. 480 00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:24,682 I have to poop again. 481 00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:33,106 Well, I'm glad all that controversy is over 482 00:20:33,107 --> 00:20:34,774 and we got our old Peter back. 483 00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:36,359 But I kinda miss Meg. 484 00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:39,112 Oh, yeah, that's right. She got traded to American Dad. 485 00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:41,448 I hear she's doing great. 486 00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:47,203 ? Good morning, USA ? 487 00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:48,955 ? Ba-da-ba-da-ba, Stan's the dad ? 488 00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:50,874 ? And the alien's gay ? 489 00:20:50,875 --> 00:20:53,585 ? And then there's a fish and a boy and a girl... ? 490 00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:54,836 Hey! 491 00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:56,129 Shut up, Meg. 492 00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:58,298 Oh. So it's just gonna be the same? 493 00:20:58,299 --> 00:20:59,382 Yup. 494 00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:00,968 Yeah.