- Oh, my God. - Okay.
One more round of Knock-Knock-Ditch.
My turn!
_
Hello?
What the shit? Hello?
- Okay, one more. - One more.
Who summons The Oracle?
This is some bullshit!
Okay, one more.
One more.
Who goes there?
It's the Valdrogians.
Valdrogians? State your purpose.
We are here to wage war.
Aaaaah! I'm ready to die!
Kill them all!
- Yikes. - Yeah, we better boogie.
Yeah, that's good.
The women and children, too!
Everyone in this town is so dumb.
Ooh, watch your head.
Whoa!
- What is it? - Oh, my God.
This is amazing.
I can't believe you've never been up here before.
From now on, this is our spot.
I can't wait to get out of here.
Yeah. And onto bigger and better things.
Mm-hmm.
And until then, we've got each other.
Yeah.
You and me.
_
Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com
It's time to kill a person!
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Dude, you missed the whole execution.
Something came up last-minute at work.
A statue of the Virgin Mary started bleeding from her eyes,
and we had to call in a regional supervisor,
and it was a whole thing.
Okay, well, if they made you stay late,
that's not your fault.
Well, actually, I sort of volunteered.
Wait, so are you, like, into this convent job now?
No, of course not. No, it's totally dumb.
So, what did I miss?
Okay, so, it was actually pretty wild.
So, they accused this guy of murdering his brother,
and then at the very last second,
the hag ran up and she...
Dude, are you seriously on your rosary right now?
Sorry. I just have to hit this dumb prayer quota before EOD.
Actually, what time is it?
Quarter past.
Shit, I better get back.
What?! You just got here.
I know, but I promised Trish
that I'd help her with her holy relic inventory.
Trish Trish?
That crazy nun who cut out her own tongue?
She's kind of grown on me.
She can be very funny with her hands.
Catch you later.
Later.
And now it's time to kill another person.
Oh! Oh!
Um, uh, driver, just stop right here, please.
Thank you.
Hi, Al. Fancy seeing you here.
Just thought I'd take a little spin through town.
Why? This town sucks ass.
Oh, God. I had no idea.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Now you know.
There's nothing cool here, and everything sucks!
Later, Chauncley.
Yes. Goodbye.
Hmm.
Father, I've noticed that some of the peasants
seem to be in rather a bad mood as of late.
They think there is nothing "cool" here
and that "everything sucks."
Uh, perhaps there's something we could do to cheer her up...
them, cheer them all up.
It will be a frigid day in hell
when I, King Cragnoor the Heartless,
help those ignorant, mud-caked peasants.
And if they do not like it,
I swear by all the gods and all the demons
that I will crush their skulls!
There is something about my father.
I don't know what it is. It's the way he is with people.
It's...
Well, it's not very nice.
Where does he even get all the skulls?
Oh.
Skull bag.
Yeah, he makes me carry this around everywhere.
It's really heavy and doesn't really go with anything.
I don't want to end up like my father, Lord Vexler.
I want to do something that will help all the peasants,
from the plowshares to the ditch diggers
to the ones who, I don't know,
have long brown hair and a razor-sharp wit.
I've had an idea.
Yes!
This will improve their lives immeasurably.
You're gonna grant them human rights?
No. Even better.
Prince Chauncley's throwing a music festival!
We gotta go.
I can't. I have a board meeting.
It's where we hit ourselves in the head with a wooden board.
Oh, come on. You've been working nonstop.
Let's just have some fun for once.
Whatever happened to fun Maggie?
I'm still fun Maggie.
I should go. I'm in the middle of my shift.
Wait. Guess who's headlining.
Percival Forthwind.
Percival Forthwind!
No way!
Sorry, Trish.
Percival never plays small towns like this.
This could be our only chance to see him.
Please.
I guess I could take a personal day.
Yes! Let's go!
Maggie.
Coming.
Check, check, one, two, one, two.
Sage?
Anybody carrying?
Oh! Al!
Good to see you. So glad you could attend.
Oh, yeah, man. This festival rules.
And it's so cool
- that you got Percival here. - Yeah!
Do you think he'll play "Hoo Hoo Hoo"?
It's my all-time favorite.
Uh, well, I mean, then I will make certain
he includes it in his repertoire.
Cool! Thanks!
- Alright, enjoy. - Bye.
Ah, God damn it.
Come on.
Mr. Forthwind! Welcome!
We are so excited that you're here.
Wow. Look at you.
Totally buying it, huh?
Uh, what am I buying?
All of this.
The illusion.
What's happening?
Hi. I'm Kirsten, Percival's manager.
He is so excited to be here.
Unfortunately, we do have one teensy, tiny problem.
Oh, no! Uh, Lord Vexler,
did we remember everything in Mr. Forthwind's rider?
Yes. 10 jugs of top-shelf mead,
five pounds of robin's eggs with the brown ones taken out,
and a personal toilet man.
Eddie Shitshoveler, at your service.
So, what's the problem?
See, the thing is, Percival's an artist,
and he just doesn't feel very inspired right now.
Oh, no.
Well, what can we do to inspire him?
Well, I think your best bet is to pay him double.
But we already agreed on a fee.
No, no, no. It's... It's fine.
That makes total sense.
We will go and get the money and return post haste.
Hold on.
Chauncley, we're already paying him a fortune.
Yes, but it'll all be worth it when he plays "Hoo Hoo Hoo."
Besides, we should be respectful.
The man is a great artist.
I'm not sure about this opening act.
Mm.
Shit!
I'm really glad we're doing this together.
Me too.
Thanks for inviting me.
But I hope Percival comes on soon.
Oh, yeah. Me too.
Per-ci-val! Per-ci-val!
Per-ci-val!
- Per... - Trish!
Huh?
- Trish, over here. - You invited her?
Well, I told her that I was coming,
and she wanted to tag along.
Well, sh... she doesn't have a tongue.
She can't even sing along.
Al, she has fingers. She can snap.
- Hey! - I'm so glad you could make it!
I don't get it.
Oh, sorry, that's a work joke.
Um, Trish had to bless the catacombs this morning,
and it's...
Never mind. It's too hard to explain.
Stop! I'm gonna pee!
Trish!
See, mass media, they just treat art as it's commerce, you know?
They split it up so that it kind of becomes...
It's product. It's this... this.
This is art, and it's just an object.
So, you just can't, Toilet Man.
You can't. It doesn't exist.
Okay.
Here you are.
Feels like it's all here.
Alright.
I gotta do my little monkey dance.
Well, we're all very excited, especially for "Hoo Hoo Hoo."
What the [BLEEP] did you just say to me?!
- Wh... - So, I think maybe
there's been a miscommunication,
but Percival will not be performing
- any of his old material tonight. - What?!
Yeah, he's just gonna be doing his new stuff.
- Ah. - So we doubled his pay,
and he's not gonna play the one song everyone knows?
Alright, keep it down.
Your dad would have this guy decapitated.
Yes, well, I'm not my dad, am I?
And I say there is no need for confrontation.
If we are just nice to him and we do literally everything he says,
then he'll play "Hoo Hoo Hoo."
I'm into sort of amelodic stuff lately, you know?
Just devoid of melody.
Wow! Trish, that is a spot-on Mother Superior impression.
Yes!
Mother Superior sounds like a huge bitch!
They should call her Mother Bitch!
That was an impression of Mother Superior
giving alms to the poor.
We were honoring her.
Oh, I didn't realize.
Sorry.
Thank you, Lower Murkford! Yes!
And now the moment you've all been waiting for.
Finally.
Percival Forthwind!
Alright.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah! Alright!
What... Oh, no!
Got a little song here, and this is called "Bow to Your God."
? Bow to your god ?
? His name is money ?
- Whoa. - Oh, he, uh,
has to do the new stuff first, right?
Just get that out of the way,
and then he'll get to the old stuff.
I think he's drunk.
Experiments... with sound.
Experiments.
With sound.
Ugh! Trish is doing work at a concert.
That's so annoying, right?
Maggie?
Maggie!
You've got to be kidding me!
We're just trying to hit our quota.
The whole point of coming here
was to forget about work and have fun together.
Well, it's not like I'm missing anything.
- This sucks. - ? Beep, beep, boop, boop ?
? Beep, beep, boop, beep, beep, boop ?
Yeah, well, it's better than hanging out with Trish.
Okay, Trish is my friend.
Trish is the kind of person we used to laugh at.
She's just like everyone else in this dumb town.
All she cares about is her stupid job.
Well, what if I care about it, too?
Well, that'd be crazy
because your job is pointless and boring.
And if you're into it,
that makes me sad to think about your future.
Or maybe you're sad because I have a future.
I'm proud of what I'm doing,
and if you were a real friend, then you would be, too.
Come on, Trish.
I'm not getting anything up here.
I don't hear anything.
Crew? Is there a crew?
Maggie. Wait.
I have to get back to work.
You were right.
I'm jealous, okay?
You have new friends and a career,
and you're doing really well.
And I should be happy for you, but I'm not.
And it's really shitty of me.
So I'm... I'm really sorry, Maggie.
Anyway, I'll let you get back to it.
I guess I could stay a little longer.
One more song?
One more.
Hey, Trish, uh, we're going back for a sec.
You wanna come?
And one and two, two, two.
Where is the crew?
Well, this sucked for you, and it sucked for me.
This is bullshit. Bye.
What the hell? He's leaving already?
Uh, Mr. Forthwind, this is my son, Mikey.
He's a big fan. Could he get an autograph?
Hi!
- Here you go. You met me. - Oh.
- Thank you so... - _
What does it say, Dad? Does it say my name?
I don't think so, son.
I don't think so.
Mr. Forthwind, please play your song.
It... It would make the peasants so happy.
Aw.
The sheep didn't get to hear the song
they heard in the mead commercial.
What are they gonna do?
Stupid idiots.
You son of a bitch!
Those peasants are good, hardworking people
who spend all day toiling at their various jobs,
doing I'm not exactly sure what.
Some of them are even quite spectacular,
with sparkling brown eyes and an indomitable spirit
that soars like the wings of an eagle.
But you, you are just a washed-up has-been
who should feel lucky to play for people like this!
You're a nostalgia booking, by the way.
Now, I want you to run, not walk, onto that stage
and play your damn song!
And if you don't, I swear by every god and every demon
that I will crush your skull!
Ohh.
Hello, beautiful people!
Huh?
You look great!
I am, uh, so happy to be here today in Lower Murkford.
Uh, hey, go, Battle Axes!
I mean it!
And, uh, I'm gonna need the crowd's help for this next one.
So, if you know the words,
please sing along and sing loud!
Two, three, four!
? A little lad fell in the stream ?
? A maiden fair heard his scream ?
? "Who is there to save my soul?" ?
? Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo ?
Wow, Prince Chauncley, you did some real damage to this guy.
Yeah, I'm sorry it came to that.
In some ways, I guess I am just as ill-tempered as my father.
No, King Cragnoor gets angry at the peasants.
You got angry for them.
He would never put on a free concert.
What even possessed you to do all this?
Oh. Nothing in particular.
? Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo ?
Um... yeah.
? A handsome dove ?
? His wings are clipped ?
? Who will save him? ?
? Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo ?
Thanks for bringing lunch.
Oh, it was nothing.
I know Sundays are crazy.
What's up with that new badge?
Oh, it's no big deal.
I got promoted.
Maggie! What's your new title?
Marketing executive.
That's where you go to the market
and you beat yourself with a rock.
It's a big step up.
Wow! Okay, we gotta celebrate.
Where's Trish?
You are not gonna believe this.
She went on tour with Percival.
Her no-tongue thing really works with his new sound.
Okay! Way to go, Trish!
Guess we're all living our dreams.
Trish is dating a rock star.
You're a career woman.
And... I'm... figuring it out.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
Mm. That's your cue.
Oh, Maggie. Wait.
Thanks.
credits