1
00:00:03,677 --> 00:00:07,403
CREDITS

2
00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:24,580
_

3
00:00:29,660 --> 00:00:30,910
Are you allowed to do that?

4
00:00:31,530 --> 00:00:32,530
What do you mean?

5
00:00:33,050 --> 00:00:34,440
Put nails in the wall.

6
00:00:34,540 --> 00:00:36,990
We can do what we like, babe.
We own it.

7
00:00:37,020 --> 00:00:38,020
Oh, yeah.

8
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:39,870
I can't quite believe it.

9
00:00:40,090 --> 00:00:42,800
I can't believe we got 100
grand off the asking price.

10
00:00:43,090 --> 00:00:44,830
But, then again,
under the circumstances...

11
00:00:44,860 --> 00:00:45,950
Don't, Sam.

12
00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:48,720
I don't want to think about it.

13
00:00:50,260 --> 00:00:51,840
So does that make
us grown-ups now?

14
00:00:52,770 --> 00:00:54,630
We'll be having dinner parties.

15
00:00:54,660 --> 00:00:57,230
Talking about
catchment areas next.

16
00:00:57,260 --> 00:00:58,800
- Well, maybe we should.
- What?

17
00:00:58,940 --> 00:01:00,100
Might be nice to invite
the neighbours round.

18
00:01:00,130 --> 00:01:01,430
Have a bit of a flat warming.

19
00:01:02,700 --> 00:01:04,350
- Nah.
- Why not?

20
00:01:04,460 --> 00:01:07,480
I don't want people treating
it like a guided tour.

21
00:01:08,300 --> 00:01:10,380
"Let's go and look round
that serial killer's flat."

22
00:01:10,410 --> 00:01:13,430
Bea, it's not a serial
killer's flat, OK?

23
00:01:13,820 --> 00:01:15,700
It was one dismembered body...

24
00:01:15,730 --> 00:01:16,990
that they know of.

25
00:01:17,020 --> 00:01:17,980
What?!

26
00:01:18,010 --> 00:01:21,230
I'm kidding!
Look, it was a long time ago.

27
00:01:21,260 --> 00:01:23,710
They replaced all the numbers,
I'm sure no-one really remembers.

28
00:01:23,740 --> 00:01:24,840
I'll remember it.

29
00:01:24,900 --> 00:01:26,430
I'll remember it every
time I'm in that bath

30
00:01:26,460 --> 00:01:27,870
where there's been
a body chopped up.

31
00:01:27,900 --> 00:01:30,150
Nah, they replaced the bath.
The agent said.

32
00:01:30,180 --> 00:01:32,530
- Oh, and you now believe what estate agents say, do you?
- I believe

33
00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:35,740
we've got a quarter of a million
pound flat at half the price.

34
00:01:36,260 --> 00:01:38,550
- What time are you back?
- About half four.

35
00:01:39,490 --> 00:01:40,590
I hate it when you work nights.

36
00:01:40,620 --> 00:01:42,910
Yeah, me too.
That's when mistakes happen.

37
00:01:43,180 --> 00:01:44,990
Like poor Mr
Hargreaves last night.

38
00:01:45,340 --> 00:01:47,400
They actually told
me to prick his boil.

39
00:01:48,620 --> 00:01:49,620
Sam...!

40
00:01:51,380 --> 00:01:52,380
I'll see you later.

41
00:02:01,980 --> 00:02:03,200
Oh, for God's sake.

42
00:04:08,010 --> 00:04:09,120
Beattie, what's wrong?

43
00:04:11,540 --> 00:04:12,560
We need to move.

44
00:04:13,540 --> 00:04:14,540
Yeah.

45
00:04:14,900 --> 00:04:16,040
Yeah, that would be great.

46
00:04:16,650 --> 00:04:17,650
Thank you.

47
00:04:19,210 --> 00:04:21,100
Right, they're going to try and get
in touch with the previous owner,

48
00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:22,560
see if he can shed any light.

49
00:04:23,740 --> 00:04:26,030
Babe, I'm sure it's just
because you're unsettled.

50
00:04:26,060 --> 00:04:28,120
You know, thinking about
the whole unpleasantness.

51
00:04:28,300 --> 00:04:29,180
You are susceptible...

52
00:04:29,210 --> 00:04:30,660
I know what I saw, Sam!

53
00:04:31,650 --> 00:04:33,510
I didn't put the Hoover on the
table and you certainly didn't

54
00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:34,950
because you've never
touched it in your life!

55
00:04:34,980 --> 00:04:36,600
Right, well,
we've done what we can.

56
00:04:36,890 --> 00:04:38,100
Ok?

57
00:04:39,450 --> 00:04:41,390
I'm tired.
I'm going to go for a shower.

58
00:04:41,420 --> 00:04:44,350
And, uh, don't worry - if
blood starts coming out of it,

59
00:04:44,380 --> 00:04:46,820
I promise we can move. OK?

60
00:05:32,010 --> 00:05:33,010
Hello?

61
00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:42,500
Hello.

62
00:05:42,570 --> 00:05:45,950
I'm David Sowerbutts,
and I used to live here.

63
00:05:49,700 --> 00:05:51,830
- Are you sure you don't want a cup of tea?
- No, thank you.

64
00:05:53,260 --> 00:05:54,440
Do you have a smoothie?

65
00:05:56,650 --> 00:05:57,650
No.

66
00:05:57,740 --> 00:05:59,390
I haven't done a big shop yet.

67
00:06:00,380 --> 00:06:01,950
Not long moved in,
as you can see.

68
00:06:01,980 --> 00:06:04,760
My mum used to make me
smoothies with a machine.

69
00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:07,540
A blender?

70
00:06:07,650 --> 00:06:09,360
No, her name was Maureen.

71
00:06:09,890 --> 00:06:11,390
She used to live here, too.

72
00:06:12,570 --> 00:06:14,060
These were her eyes.

73
00:06:15,980 --> 00:06:16,980
Sorry?

74
00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:19,390
She used to dress up
and do impressions.

75
00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:21,200
Party nights,
that sort of thing.

76
00:06:21,820 --> 00:06:23,680
She used these for Tina Turner.

77
00:06:25,450 --> 00:06:26,450
Right.

78
00:06:27,770 --> 00:06:29,100
Well, it's very strange.

79
00:06:29,130 --> 00:06:32,120
They've just appeared
in the hallway.

80
00:06:35,700 --> 00:06:36,920
I hate to ask, but...

81
00:06:37,820 --> 00:06:39,630
did your mother pass
away in this flat?

82
00:06:41,890 --> 00:06:43,360
She did, yes.

83
00:06:44,770 --> 00:06:46,850
But I don't like to
remember her that way.

84
00:06:48,620 --> 00:06:50,800
I remember her
being full of life.

85
00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:22,040
We got on really well.

86
00:07:22,540 --> 00:07:24,200
We were more than flatmates.

87
00:07:24,700 --> 00:07:26,510
Well, you were mother and son.

88
00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:28,800
Oh, yeah, that as well.

89
00:07:28,890 --> 00:07:29,890
Is that all of it?

90
00:07:36,380 --> 00:07:38,000
I think it's dry now.

91
00:07:40,330 --> 00:07:41,560
I know it is.

92
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:49,680
We took an interest in
each other's hobbies.

93
00:07:50,100 --> 00:07:52,120
Mum liked to play the Bontempi.

94
00:07:53,450 --> 00:07:55,860
I liked learning
about serial killers.

95
00:07:55,890 --> 00:07:59,600
Did I meow like a cat
when I was arrested?

96
00:07:59,660 --> 00:08:02,200
- No.
- Right, so I'm not Jeffrey Dahmer. Your go.

97
00:08:02,700 --> 00:08:04,710
Did I kill a family member?

98
00:08:04,740 --> 00:08:06,030
- Yep.
- Wife?

99
00:08:06,060 --> 00:08:07,100
Yeah, you're warm.

100
00:08:07,130 --> 00:08:08,540
John Reginald Halliday Christie?

101
00:08:08,570 --> 00:08:10,830
No. Dr Crippen. I win.

102
00:08:11,260 --> 00:08:12,980
Crippen's not a serial killer.

103
00:08:13,010 --> 00:08:14,860
He only killed his wife.
It's nothing.

104
00:08:14,890 --> 00:08:17,510
Yeah, don't be a bad loser,
David. You were close.

105
00:08:17,740 --> 00:08:19,720
They've both got bald
heads and round glasses.

106
00:08:19,890 --> 00:08:21,070
Who was I, anyway?

107
00:08:21,700 --> 00:08:24,670
Ed Gein! I should have asked, "Did
I dance around in the moonlight

108
00:08:24,700 --> 00:08:26,920
with a silver
vagina on me face?"!

109
00:08:27,700 --> 00:08:28,700
She sounds...

110
00:08:29,540 --> 00:08:30,270
..lovely.

111
00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:33,630
She was.
We were very happy here.

112
00:08:34,940 --> 00:08:37,560
But, then, one day,
I found out she'd caught cancer.

113
00:08:39,490 --> 00:08:42,070
- I'm sorry.
- Well, it's not your fault!

114
00:08:44,610 --> 00:08:46,420
She was very brave about it.

115
00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:48,660
There.

116
00:08:48,940 --> 00:08:50,540
Now, I've cut you a little
bit behind your ear,

117
00:08:50,570 --> 00:08:53,160
- but it'll scab over.
- Thanks, Mum.

118
00:08:53,330 --> 00:08:55,230
You're going to have to learn how
to do all these things for yourself

119
00:08:55,260 --> 00:08:56,260
when I'm gone.

120
00:08:56,420 --> 00:08:58,470
- Don't say that.
- Well, you will.

121
00:08:58,900 --> 00:09:01,070
What did your scoutmaster
used to say to you?

122
00:09:01,820 --> 00:09:02,940
Don't tell anyone.

123
00:09:02,970 --> 00:09:04,440
Yeah... Not that.

124
00:09:04,970 --> 00:09:06,400
Be prepared.

125
00:09:06,940 --> 00:09:09,230
You need to be equipped
with essential life skills.

126
00:09:09,260 --> 00:09:10,260
I am!

127
00:09:10,540 --> 00:09:16,030
Left, right, stalagmites, stalactites,
cos mites crawl up and tights hang down.

128
00:09:16,060 --> 00:09:18,390
OK, that's good,
but there are other things.

129
00:09:18,420 --> 00:09:19,950
You've got to be able
to feed yourself.

130
00:09:20,300 --> 00:09:21,630
I'll have a flask of beans.

131
00:09:21,660 --> 00:09:24,700
Oh, you need more than that.
I'll leave you my recipes.

132
00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:28,030
You can do carbonara - which is
spaghetti hoops in salad cream

133
00:09:28,060 --> 00:09:29,560
with a bag of Frazzles mixed in.

134
00:09:30,020 --> 00:09:32,710
And, for pudding, you can
have me New York cheesecake -

135
00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:35,040
Dairylea triangle
on a digestive.

136
00:09:35,780 --> 00:09:37,230
I don't want you to go.

137
00:09:38,060 --> 00:09:39,850
I know you don't, David.

138
00:09:40,020 --> 00:09:41,440
And I don't want to go.

139
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,470
Let's hope it's a long way off,
eh?

140
00:09:46,970 --> 00:09:48,000
But it wasn't.

141
00:09:48,330 --> 00:09:50,110
I wish I could kill Death.

142
00:09:51,060 --> 00:09:53,070
Then he wouldn't be
able to kill you.

143
00:09:55,180 --> 00:09:57,800
You can't have a world
without Death, David.

144
00:09:59,940 --> 00:10:01,640
He finds you in the end.

145
00:10:03,140 --> 00:10:07,590
"One short sleep past, we wake
eternally, and death shall be no more.

146
00:10:08,660 --> 00:10:11,520
Death, thou shalt die."

147
00:10:13,540 --> 00:10:15,070
Did you just make that up?

148
00:10:16,090 --> 00:10:17,550
No, John Donne.

149
00:10:19,260 --> 00:10:21,520
It's "John did", David.

150
00:10:21,750 --> 00:10:23,150
_

151
00:10:23,180 --> 00:10:24,660
It's "John did".

152
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:52,400
Without Mum, things were
harder than I thought.

153
00:10:57,260 --> 00:10:58,400
She was right.

154
00:10:59,780 --> 00:11:02,240
I wasn't equipped
with many life skills.

155
00:11:06,090 --> 00:11:09,200
But luckily I had a friend
who came to look after me.

156
00:11:10,900 --> 00:11:13,590
Hello, David.
I brought you a smoothie.

157
00:11:13,970 --> 00:11:15,560
- Mango?
- Yeah.

158
00:11:15,660 --> 00:11:16,660
Thank you.

159
00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:28,520
I met Emily at my job doing
Murder Mystery Evenings.

160
00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:32,580
We bonded over our shared
passion for Jack the Ripper.

161
00:11:32,610 --> 00:11:35,350
- Nichols, Tabram, Chapman...
- No, no, no.

162
00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:39,440
Martha Tabram was not considered
one of the canonical five!

163
00:11:39,610 --> 00:11:43,830
Oh, yeah. So, Nichols, Chapman,

164
00:11:45,380 --> 00:11:46,930
NCSEK!

165
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:50,630
Nichols, Chapman, Stride,
Eddowes, Kelly NCSEK!

166
00:11:50,660 --> 00:11:51,800
That's it.

167
00:11:52,610 --> 00:11:54,580
You are so clever, David.

168
00:11:54,610 --> 00:11:55,800
Thank you.

169
00:11:56,380 --> 00:11:59,920
I know, let's both say our
favourite victim after three.

170
00:12:01,140 --> 00:12:02,140
One...

171
00:12:02,780 --> 00:12:03,780
two...

172
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:05,910
three...

173
00:12:05,940 --> 00:12:07,200
Mary Kelly!

174
00:12:10,380 --> 00:12:11,500
I need a wee.

175
00:12:12,140 --> 00:12:13,640
Would you like to come with me?

176
00:12:14,020 --> 00:12:15,210
Yes, please.

177
00:12:20,330 --> 00:12:24,400
She encouraged me to make a fresh
start and move on with my life.

178
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:09,830
I came to realise that, with Emily, I
was filling a hole where Mum had been.

179
00:13:15,140 --> 00:13:17,180
Excuse me,
do you have any Wagon Wheels?

180
00:13:19,260 --> 00:13:20,700
No. Sorry.

181
00:13:20,730 --> 00:13:22,520
Well, it doesn't matter.
I just like them.

182
00:13:23,700 --> 00:13:25,440
So did Emily move in here, then?

183
00:13:25,570 --> 00:13:26,510
Yes.

184
00:13:26,540 --> 00:13:29,470
For a while,
everything was fine, and then...

185
00:13:31,260 --> 00:13:32,830
it all started to go wrong.

186
00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:35,640
David?

187
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:37,680
Just going to the shops.

188
00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:40,230
Haven't seen my keys, have you?
Agh!

189
00:13:47,420 --> 00:13:48,880
What's going on?

190
00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:51,700
Why have you got
my mum's brooch?

191
00:13:51,940 --> 00:13:53,250
It was in my bag.

192
00:13:54,060 --> 00:13:56,270
If you want to keep any of
her things, I don't mind.

193
00:13:56,300 --> 00:13:57,440
Not bothered.

194
00:13:57,660 --> 00:13:59,400
Well,
I noticed you brought that back.

195
00:14:00,730 --> 00:14:01,880
I didn't.

196
00:14:03,060 --> 00:14:05,400
It's OK, David. I understand.

197
00:14:06,260 --> 00:14:08,520
Your mother was a big
part of your life.

198
00:14:09,260 --> 00:14:11,580
I can see why you wouldn't
want to let her go.

199
00:14:12,660 --> 00:14:13,800
See you tonight.

200
00:14:56,300 --> 00:14:58,440
What are you doing getting
rid of all my things?

201
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:01,160
Mum?!

202
00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:03,420
You know that blue cardie
you got me for Mother's Day?

203
00:15:03,450 --> 00:15:07,610
It's currently in Wood Green Dogs
Trust with a sticker on it for 30p.

204
00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:09,530
How do you think
that makes me feel?

205
00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:11,080
I'm sorry.

206
00:15:11,770 --> 00:15:13,740
Emily said I should
try to move on.

207
00:15:13,770 --> 00:15:15,800
Never mind what Emily said.

208
00:15:16,090 --> 00:15:17,420
I've seen what you
get up to in here.

209
00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:19,340
I'm disgusted with you.

210
00:15:19,370 --> 00:15:21,200
What do you mean,
you've seen us?

211
00:15:21,330 --> 00:15:22,420
Do you hide in a cupboard?

212
00:15:22,450 --> 00:15:23,740
I don't need to hide, do I?

213
00:15:23,770 --> 00:15:26,410
I'm beyond the veil!
I can do this...

214
00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:31,050
You've got superpowers!

215
00:15:32,370 --> 00:15:34,650
Could you go and watch
the Queen doing a poo?

216
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:35,920
Yeah, I have done.

217
00:15:36,010 --> 00:15:37,490
She takes ages.

218
00:15:38,450 --> 00:15:41,540
What's it like? The afterlife?

219
00:15:41,570 --> 00:15:43,060
Well, there's different areas.

220
00:15:43,090 --> 00:15:44,100
It's like a cruise ship.

221
00:15:44,130 --> 00:15:47,460
I haven't got access to what you'd
call "the upper deck", but...

222
00:15:47,490 --> 00:15:51,250
I'm telling you, David,
it's much more fun down below.

223
00:15:51,730 --> 00:15:52,940
What do you mean?

224
00:15:52,970 --> 00:15:56,560
I've met 'em all - Bundy,
Chikatilo, Nilsen...

225
00:15:56,730 --> 00:15:58,650
Jeffrey did his cat
noises for me last night.

226
00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:00,050
He's a scream.

227
00:16:00,650 --> 00:16:02,170
I knew he would be!

228
00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:03,940
I can't wait to tell Emily.

229
00:16:03,970 --> 00:16:05,890
You'll tell her nothing!

230
00:16:06,650 --> 00:16:08,250
She's a whore!

231
00:16:09,370 --> 00:16:14,250
She is my girlfriend
and I love her very much.

232
00:16:15,210 --> 00:16:16,890
- And do you trust her?
- Yes.

233
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:20,170
Why?

234
00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:23,770
Cos I'm in this flat all day,
David, and I see things.

235
00:16:23,890 --> 00:16:28,010
You might want to come home early
one day - say, Wednesday, two o'clock.

236
00:16:28,370 --> 00:16:32,650
And while you're on it, why don't you
ask her why she's got two mobile phones?

237
00:16:33,210 --> 00:16:34,320
What?

238
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:44,740
Hello?

239
00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:46,490
Oh, hey, is Emily there?

240
00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:47,730
No, sorry.

241
00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:49,490
Would you like to
leave a mess...?

242
00:16:56,970 --> 00:16:58,580
That must have been very scary.

243
00:16:58,610 --> 00:16:59,850
It was.

244
00:17:01,090 --> 00:17:04,530
But not as scary as what I saw
on Wednesday at two o'clock.

245
00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:14,580
If you want to lie back.
That's it.

246
00:17:14,610 --> 00:17:16,930
Go on,
have a little suck on that.

247
00:17:18,330 --> 00:17:21,800
Ooh, you are a big boy,
aren't you?

248
00:17:22,610 --> 00:17:25,290
That's it. How does that feel?

249
00:17:25,570 --> 00:17:27,120
Nice and tight.

250
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:32,840
Emily?!

251
00:17:33,890 --> 00:17:36,540
David. Why are
you back so early?

252
00:17:36,570 --> 00:17:38,930
What's going on?
Who are all these people?

253
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:42,770
It's OK. It's only David.

254
00:17:44,530 --> 00:17:46,100
Me not like David!

255
00:17:46,130 --> 00:17:47,820
Want him to go!

256
00:17:47,850 --> 00:17:50,500
Robin?! What are you doing here?

257
00:17:50,530 --> 00:17:52,980
Me not Robin! Me Sally-Ann!

258
00:17:53,010 --> 00:17:57,210
Sally-Ann fwightened!
Sally-Ann go poo-poo!

259
00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:58,980
No Sally-Ann, no poo-poos.

260
00:17:59,010 --> 00:18:00,530
We've just changed your nappy.

261
00:18:01,090 --> 00:18:03,360
You...you play with this.

262
00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:06,170
Just going to talk to David.

263
00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:09,370
David,
I know what this looks like.

264
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:12,500
It looks like you're having
a sex game with our ex-boss!

265
00:18:12,530 --> 00:18:14,340
No, it's not a sex game.

266
00:18:14,370 --> 00:18:16,600
They pay me to treat
them like this.

267
00:18:16,770 --> 00:18:17,970
Why?

268
00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:19,620
Well, I don't know.

269
00:18:19,650 --> 00:18:20,650
But...

270
00:18:21,770 --> 00:18:24,010
they just like being babified.

271
00:18:24,090 --> 00:18:27,120
For me, it's the joy of
going back to a simpler time.

272
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:29,690
A time when one had
no responsibility.

273
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:34,410
And a few hours of being released from
the stresses and strains of adulthood

274
00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:36,980
it does me the power of good.

275
00:18:37,010 --> 00:18:40,290
It really is quite harmless,
David.

276
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:44,410
Well, I think it's disgusting!

277
00:18:44,890 --> 00:18:46,220
I want you all to get out!

278
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,880
Out, now!
And you can take that with you!

279
00:18:49,010 --> 00:18:52,770
David, don't throw the babies
out with the bathwater, please!

280
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,250
Mum was right.

281
00:18:55,250 --> 00:18:57,320
She told me you
weren't to be trusted.

282
00:18:59,010 --> 00:19:00,730
You are a whore!

283
00:19:07,890 --> 00:19:10,010
I was sorry to hear
about your mother, David.

284
00:19:10,530 --> 00:19:11,890
I only met her a
couple of times,

285
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:15,080
but she struck me as being
a most formidable woman.

286
00:19:15,330 --> 00:19:18,970
Wherever she is, I know
she'd be very proud of you.

287
00:19:28,290 --> 00:19:30,120
I am proud, David.

288
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:32,290
Very proud.

289
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:39,080
After I calmed down, I realised
I'd made a terrible mistake.

290
00:19:40,530 --> 00:19:43,600
I'd forgotten to record Fred
Dinenage's Murder Casebook.

291
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:48,690
As well as that, I'd upsetted
Emily and that made me sad.

292
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:50,170
Please don't go!

293
00:19:50,530 --> 00:19:52,980
It's no good, David,
you can't talk to me like that.

294
00:19:53,010 --> 00:19:54,320
I know. It...

295
00:19:54,370 --> 00:19:55,800
It wasn't me!

296
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:57,360
Who was it, then?

297
00:19:57,680 --> 00:20:00,260
Did a dog make you do it,
like David Berkowitz?

298
00:20:00,290 --> 00:20:01,450
No, it was...

299
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:03,840
It was a mistake.

300
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:05,840
I'm sorry!

301
00:20:07,250 --> 00:20:10,410
I only didn't mention the job
because I was embarrassed.

302
00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:12,690
Well, you don't have
to be embarrassed!

303
00:20:12,890 --> 00:20:14,530
I like babies.

304
00:20:16,050 --> 00:20:17,250
So do I.

305
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:19,010
I'd like to have a baby.

306
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,360
Shall we make one?

307
00:20:25,130 --> 00:20:26,290
Yeah, all right.

308
00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:34,500
But normal sized, though,
and not with a beard.

309
00:20:34,530 --> 00:20:35,530
All right.

310
00:20:35,890 --> 00:20:37,770
I'll stay and have
a baby with you.

311
00:20:38,370 --> 00:20:39,930
But on one condition.

312
00:20:45,770 --> 00:20:48,170
You've got to get
rid of your mother.

313
00:20:57,290 --> 00:20:58,290
What?!

314
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:00,450
Oh, yeah, sorry.
I forgot to say.

315
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:04,290
When my mum died, I kept her
body on ice in the bathtub.

316
00:21:04,610 --> 00:21:09,120
I thought I could bring her back to
life, but they haven't invented it yet.

317
00:21:10,370 --> 00:21:14,770
The ice melted,
and...she went a bit off.

318
00:21:16,090 --> 00:21:17,120
Oh, God.

319
00:21:19,650 --> 00:21:22,410
The next morning we gave
Mum a proper send-off.

320
00:21:22,810 --> 00:21:26,320
We took her to the recycling centre
behind Shopping City in Wood Green.

321
00:21:26,810 --> 00:21:30,600
We split her between garden
waste, general rubbish and metal,

322
00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:32,210
on account of a, erm...

323
00:21:40,890 --> 00:21:44,050
Then Emily and I set about
making a baby together.

324
00:21:44,810 --> 00:21:46,360
It was nice.

325
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:50,690
And a few months later,
Baby John was born.

326
00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:52,930
I loved him.

327
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:57,920
I wanted to be a better father
to him than my father was to me.

328
00:21:58,330 --> 00:22:00,690
September 30th 1888.

329
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:05,730
saw one of Jack's most audacious
acts, known as The Double Event.

330
00:22:06,130 --> 00:22:10,580
On this soggy, miserable night, he
managed to slaughter two victims...

331
00:22:10,610 --> 00:22:13,770
We even threw him a party
to celebrate his birth.

332
00:22:14,890 --> 00:22:18,130
Right, I'm going to introduce
you now to Mr Bunny!

333
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:20,250
Do you like, erm,
rabbits, little, er...

334
00:22:20,850 --> 00:22:21,890
What's his name?

335
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:23,010
John.

336
00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:25,210
John? That's imaginative.

337
00:22:25,250 --> 00:22:26,840
You like rabbits, John?

338
00:22:27,810 --> 00:22:29,890
This is really hard for me,
you know, with him being a baby.

339
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:32,250
Normally, they can reply and
get a bit of banter going.

340
00:22:32,570 --> 00:22:33,540
Anyway, your money.

341
00:22:33,570 --> 00:22:35,980
Er, let's get this rabbit out,
then, shall we?

342
00:22:36,010 --> 00:22:38,860
Come on, that's it,
Mr Bunny, don't be shy.

343
00:22:38,890 --> 00:22:40,730
Oh, fuckin' hell. Stabbed it.

344
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:43,010
Yep, right in the eye.
Another one gone.

345
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:45,580
Er, I'm going to need a brick
for that. Finish it off later.

346
00:22:45,610 --> 00:22:47,410
Anyway,
do you like balloon animals?

347
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:48,580
What's his favourite animal?

348
00:22:48,610 --> 00:22:49,930
- Monkey.
- No, fuck that.

349
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:52,930
He can have sausage dog,
snake or giraffe.

350
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:54,650
Snake, please, Mr Jolly.

351
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:55,680
Jelly!

352
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:01,770
Turns out we'd
booked the wrong one.

353
00:23:02,650 --> 00:23:06,210
Anyway, Emily got a new job
working at an all-night chemist's.

354
00:23:06,250 --> 00:23:07,170
Like Sam.

355
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:09,820
He works night shifts. He
should be back soon, actually.

356
00:23:09,850 --> 00:23:11,120
Oh, I didn't mind.

357
00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:13,930
It meant that I had more
time with baby John.

358
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:16,290
We were so happy together.

359
00:23:18,890 --> 00:23:20,600
Then she came back.

360
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:35,320
You're going to need more
salt than that, David.

361
00:23:36,290 --> 00:23:39,170
Mum? What are you doing back?
I thought...

362
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,770
Thought you got rid of me?
No, David.

363
00:23:41,810 --> 00:23:43,130
I'm your mother.

364
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:45,490
Mothers don't leave their sons.

365
00:23:45,530 --> 00:23:48,840
And speaking of
which...who's this?

366
00:23:49,810 --> 00:23:50,840
Baby John.

367
00:23:50,890 --> 00:23:52,490
Baby John!

368
00:23:53,010 --> 00:23:55,010
He reminds me of you, David.

369
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:58,120
Big, fat,
simple face and a stinky bum.

370
00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:00,840
But...we recycled you.

371
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:02,450
We laid you to rest.

372
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:03,880
Not quite.

373
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:06,210
You couldn't stop yourself,
could you?

374
00:24:06,370 --> 00:24:08,290
You did an Edmund Kemper.

375
00:24:08,370 --> 00:24:09,930
Kept your mother's head...

376
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:14,410
and bricked it up in the wall.

377
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:16,080
It was true.

378
00:24:23,330 --> 00:24:26,210
I wanted her close by,
so she could keep an eye on me.

379
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:35,530
It was a mistake.

380
00:24:35,850 --> 00:24:38,170
You'll never guess who
I met last night, David.

381
00:24:38,850 --> 00:24:40,010
Jack.

382
00:24:40,570 --> 00:24:41,880
The Ripper?

383
00:24:42,090 --> 00:24:44,530
He don't like being called that,
but, yeah.

384
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:46,410
And he's really nice.

385
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,410
- You know who he is?
- Yeah.

386
00:24:49,130 --> 00:24:52,300
I can't tell you, cos there
are certain protocols, but, ha,

387
00:24:52,330 --> 00:24:53,340
you won't believe it.

388
00:24:53,370 --> 00:24:55,820
- Is it Tumblety?
- Not saying.

389
00:24:55,850 --> 00:24:58,690
- It's not Clarence?!
- I'm not telling you, David!

390
00:24:59,530 --> 00:25:01,320
But there is a way to find out.

391
00:25:01,850 --> 00:25:02,850
What?

392
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:04,840
Kill yourself.

393
00:25:05,130 --> 00:25:06,130
Cut your wrists now,

394
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:08,780
and in ten minutes I'll have you
chatting away with Jack the Ripper,

395
00:25:08,810 --> 00:25:10,490
identity known.

396
00:25:10,770 --> 00:25:12,930
- I can't!
- Why not?!

397
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:15,410
I've got to look
after baby John.

398
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:18,210
Well, that's easily remedied.
Just kill the baby, David.

399
00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:20,600
No.

400
00:25:20,850 --> 00:25:23,170
You'll do as you're told.
Kill that baby!

401
00:25:27,610 --> 00:25:30,800
- I don't want to.
- David, pick up that baby!

402
00:25:34,010 --> 00:25:37,530
Now bring it over to the stove
and we're going to get it boiled.

403
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:45,130
I want Emily!

404
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,800
She's not here. I am.

405
00:25:53,850 --> 00:25:55,530
Now drop it in.

406
00:25:56,010 --> 00:25:57,010
Sorry.

407
00:25:59,610 --> 00:26:00,910
David!

408
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:02,400
David...

409
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:04,010
what are you doing?!

410
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:05,320
Give him to me!

411
00:26:06,130 --> 00:26:08,970
It was Mum! She's come back...

412
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:12,250
She made me do it!

413
00:26:13,330 --> 00:26:16,080
Your mother is dead, David!

414
00:26:16,530 --> 00:26:19,050
Dead! Dead! Dead!

415
00:26:21,090 --> 00:26:23,410
Emily called the police
and told them everything.

416
00:26:24,770 --> 00:26:27,410
About Mum, the bath, the baby.

417
00:26:28,650 --> 00:26:30,450
Nobody would believe me.

418
00:26:31,850 --> 00:26:35,890
I got taken away...and I
haven't seen them since.

419
00:26:38,370 --> 00:26:40,320
But her head's still here,
isn't it?

420
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:43,930
That's why she's not at rest.

421
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:47,600
I came as soon as I heard.

422
00:26:49,130 --> 00:26:51,490
I think you could be in danger.

423
00:26:52,250 --> 00:26:54,600
I think you two have
chatted long enough.

424
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:59,120
It's time to do a bad murder.

425
00:27:01,370 --> 00:27:02,410
No, Mum.

426
00:27:03,490 --> 00:27:04,800
I won't do it.

427
00:27:05,810 --> 00:27:07,360
You can't make me.

428
00:27:07,770 --> 00:27:09,600
I wasn't talking to you.

429
00:27:17,530 --> 00:27:19,010
That's it, David.

430
00:27:19,330 --> 00:27:20,360
It's all right.

431
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:22,650
We'll be together now.

432
00:27:23,810 --> 00:27:29,800
Forever and ever...and ever...

433
00:27:30,090 --> 00:27:31,270
Babe, are you up?

434
00:27:31,470 --> 00:27:33,730
How did you get on
with Mr Sowerbutts?

435
00:27:41,090 --> 00:27:42,090
Bea?

436
00:27:59,610 --> 00:28:02,560
So, remember, I'm going to
be back a bit late tonight,

437
00:28:03,890 --> 00:28:05,560
but I'll leave the
radio on for you.

438
00:28:06,650 --> 00:28:07,890
Keep you company.

439
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:16,290
See you later!

440
00:28:38,736 --> 00:28:43,856
CREDITS