1 00:00:04,733 --> 00:00:05,967 - Whoo! - Party bus. 2 00:00:05,969 --> 00:00:08,970 Okay, a toast! To our girl Sandra... 3 00:00:08,972 --> 00:00:10,504 Whoo-whoo... 4 00:00:10,529 --> 00:00:12,515 For being awesome, 5 00:00:12,789 --> 00:00:14,718 for finding true love, 6 00:00:14,742 --> 00:00:16,264 and most importantly, 7 00:00:16,297 --> 00:00:17,945 for giving me my first chance 8 00:00:17,970 --> 00:00:20,359 to par-tay in, like, decades. 9 00:00:20,384 --> 00:00:21,234 Thank you. 10 00:00:21,259 --> 00:00:22,498 All right, let's get drunk 11 00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:25,085 and take this bitch to see a horse. 12 00:00:26,399 --> 00:00:28,833 You guys are the best. I love you all. 13 00:00:28,858 --> 00:00:30,657 - Aw... - Aw! 14 00:00:30,684 --> 00:00:32,985 Wait! Don't eat that. 15 00:00:33,511 --> 00:00:35,453 They're filled with laxatives. 16 00:00:35,478 --> 00:00:36,578 What? Why? 17 00:00:36,603 --> 00:00:38,570 I mean, I get that some of you may have that problem. 18 00:00:38,595 --> 00:00:40,195 For the record, I do not. 19 00:00:40,220 --> 00:00:42,523 My doctor is begging me to eat less fiber. 20 00:00:42,548 --> 00:00:43,515 I won't do it. 21 00:00:43,540 --> 00:00:44,921 I wanted Sandra to get sick 22 00:00:44,946 --> 00:00:46,846 so tomorrow would be ruined, okay? 23 00:00:46,871 --> 00:00:48,203 What the hell, Carol? 24 00:00:48,228 --> 00:00:49,294 I knew you hadn't changed. 25 00:00:49,319 --> 00:00:51,186 I'm sorry. I tried. 26 00:00:51,211 --> 00:00:53,811 But I just couldn't let the anger go. 27 00:00:53,836 --> 00:00:55,226 I'm a mess. 28 00:00:55,251 --> 00:00:57,084 I shouldn't be any part of this. 29 00:00:57,109 --> 00:00:59,543 Mmm, that cupcake was delicious. 30 00:01:00,619 --> 00:01:02,186 Mmm. 31 00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:04,473 Ooh, someone should tell him. 32 00:01:04,475 --> 00:01:06,341 - Yeah. - No, no, no, no, no! 33 00:01:06,343 --> 00:01:07,810 Maybe he'll be fine. 34 00:01:07,812 --> 00:01:10,245 Oh, he's not fine. 35 00:01:12,166 --> 00:01:17,000 Synced and corrected by hawken45 for www.addic7ed.com 36 00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:21,478 I knew we were here too early. 37 00:01:21,503 --> 00:01:23,136 They haven't even finished setting up the... 38 00:01:23,194 --> 00:01:24,460 s-ship? 39 00:01:24,462 --> 00:01:26,929 Is... is it a cowboy ship? 40 00:01:26,931 --> 00:01:28,263 No, their theme is nautical, 41 00:01:28,265 --> 00:01:29,598 but they got this western place for cheap 42 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:31,300 because Jerry got hit by a dart here. 43 00:01:31,302 --> 00:01:32,901 Oh... bar! Come on. 44 00:01:32,903 --> 00:01:34,269 Wow, going right at it, huh? 45 00:01:34,271 --> 00:01:35,370 Yeah, well, I didn't get to cut loose 46 00:01:35,372 --> 00:01:36,205 at the bachelorette party, 47 00:01:36,207 --> 00:01:38,140 so I'm cutting twice as loose tonight. 48 00:01:38,142 --> 00:01:39,408 My phone is on do not disturb, 49 00:01:39,410 --> 00:01:41,951 and my liver is on high alert. 50 00:01:41,976 --> 00:01:43,609 That's where you think your liver is? 51 00:01:43,634 --> 00:01:45,184 I don't know. Where's my liver? 52 00:01:45,662 --> 00:01:47,940 It... it's not there. 53 00:01:48,185 --> 00:01:49,818 - Excuse me. - Oh, sorry, folks. 54 00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:50,875 I'm not open yet. 55 00:01:50,900 --> 00:01:52,600 Oh, okay. No worries. 56 00:01:52,625 --> 00:01:55,221 But you've got bottles, and glasses, 57 00:01:55,246 --> 00:01:57,380 and the garnish buffets all set up. 58 00:01:57,405 --> 00:01:58,404 Looks good to go! 59 00:01:58,429 --> 00:01:59,762 And yet, nope. 60 00:01:59,764 --> 00:02:01,163 No rush. No rush at all. 61 00:02:01,165 --> 00:02:02,531 No, please. God, no. 62 00:02:02,556 --> 00:02:03,462 No, no, take your time. 63 00:02:03,487 --> 00:02:04,920 But, you know, when the time comes, 64 00:02:04,945 --> 00:02:06,882 I would love an old-fashioned. 65 00:02:08,096 --> 00:02:09,990 Or, you know, something like quick and easy 66 00:02:10,023 --> 00:02:11,589 like a beer... there's a bunch of them here. 67 00:02:11,614 --> 00:02:12,998 - I could just... - Ma'am. 68 00:02:13,038 --> 00:02:14,209 Sorry. 69 00:02:14,234 --> 00:02:15,648 I was just trying to help you. 70 00:02:17,313 --> 00:02:20,334 - I said ma'am. - He did say ma'am. 71 00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:26,576 - Oh, hey, Glenn. - Mm-hmm? 72 00:02:26,977 --> 00:02:28,117 Getting ready for the ceremony? 73 00:02:28,142 --> 00:02:29,396 Yeah. You bet. 74 00:02:29,421 --> 00:02:31,295 I know this backwards and forwards. 75 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:33,486 Though I would not recommend it backwards. 76 00:02:33,511 --> 00:02:35,411 - I sound like a lunatic. - Yeah. 77 00:02:35,436 --> 00:02:36,740 So how's your toast coming? 78 00:02:36,765 --> 00:02:38,600 Oh, well, you know, I'm still working it out. 79 00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:40,920 I just have this, like, little story about him. 80 00:02:40,945 --> 00:02:41,880 Basically, Jerry and Sandra 81 00:02:41,905 --> 00:02:44,005 have this sweatshirt with a crab on it, 82 00:02:44,007 --> 00:02:46,774 and whoever's feeling crabby has to wear the sweatshirt. 83 00:02:46,776 --> 00:02:48,176 And the only time Jerry's worn it 84 00:02:48,178 --> 00:02:49,892 is when Sandra was out of town. 85 00:02:50,979 --> 00:02:52,489 That's nice. And then? 86 00:02:53,183 --> 00:02:54,949 That's... Well, that... that's it. 87 00:02:54,951 --> 00:02:56,084 Oh, that... that's... 88 00:02:56,086 --> 00:02:57,151 that's your whole speech? 89 00:02:57,207 --> 00:02:58,740 - Yeah. - Oh, okay. 90 00:02:58,765 --> 00:03:01,102 Well, I do not see a problem with that. 91 00:03:01,464 --> 00:03:02,496 It sounds like you do. 92 00:03:02,521 --> 00:03:03,758 No, no, no. 93 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:06,261 What I'm saying is there's no disaster ahead. 94 00:03:06,263 --> 00:03:07,695 You know, nobody's going to hate you. 95 00:03:07,697 --> 00:03:09,325 Hate me? Why would anyone hate me? 96 00:03:09,350 --> 00:03:12,535 That's what I'm saying. Most of them won't. 97 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:13,635 Yeah. 98 00:03:13,637 --> 00:03:15,970 I bet this place sees a lot of ill-fitting denim. 99 00:03:15,972 --> 00:03:18,706 Yeah, just imagine how many bad butts have been in here. 100 00:03:18,708 --> 00:03:19,918 Call me an optimist, 101 00:03:19,943 --> 00:03:21,825 but I think there are no bad butts. 102 00:03:21,850 --> 00:03:23,442 There's just bad pants. 103 00:03:23,467 --> 00:03:25,543 Aw, that's beautiful. 104 00:03:25,568 --> 00:03:28,374 Okay, I'm going to hit the little cowboys' room. 105 00:03:28,399 --> 00:03:30,928 Not my words. It says that on the door. 106 00:03:33,354 --> 00:03:34,486 So? 107 00:03:34,511 --> 00:03:37,076 Oh! He's great! Yeah, he's so nice. 108 00:03:37,101 --> 00:03:38,234 I know, we're working on 109 00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:39,412 getting him to talk trash about people. 110 00:03:39,437 --> 00:03:40,903 Yeah, it just takes practice. 111 00:03:40,928 --> 00:03:42,694 He'll be a nasty bitch real soon. 112 00:03:42,719 --> 00:03:43,670 Thanks. 113 00:03:43,762 --> 00:03:44,695 I was a little worried, you know, 114 00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:46,476 inviting him to a wedding this early on. 115 00:03:46,501 --> 00:03:48,178 But then I thought it'd be weirder not to bring him. 116 00:03:48,203 --> 00:03:50,815 Totally... that's how it was for me and Bo at homecoming. 117 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:53,307 But then we just did a bunch of whip-its in the DJ's van, 118 00:03:53,309 --> 00:03:54,464 and it was great. 119 00:03:55,244 --> 00:03:56,777 I say this with love... 120 00:03:56,779 --> 00:03:58,212 it's crazy you haven't been murdered. 121 00:03:58,214 --> 00:03:59,508 I know. 122 00:03:59,849 --> 00:04:01,749 But you're not some kind of nerd like Glenn. 123 00:04:01,751 --> 00:04:02,650 You're just going to find your speech 124 00:04:02,652 --> 00:04:04,752 - in, like, the moment, right? - No, sir. 125 00:04:04,754 --> 00:04:06,954 I take my maid of honor duties very seriously. 126 00:04:06,956 --> 00:04:08,357 So I've rehearsed it down to the syllable. 127 00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:10,318 I know exactly where I'm going to... 128 00:04:11,326 --> 00:04:12,996 almost start to cry. 129 00:04:13,029 --> 00:04:14,495 And where I'm going to... 130 00:04:14,497 --> 00:04:16,630 Get myself a little bit with my own joke. 131 00:04:16,632 --> 00:04:17,833 And then I'm going to bring it home 132 00:04:17,834 --> 00:04:21,717 with a series... of meaningful... pauses. 133 00:04:22,505 --> 00:04:25,573 So you have thought about it. All right. 134 00:04:25,575 --> 00:04:27,637 Guys, they haven't put out the shrimp yet, 135 00:04:27,662 --> 00:04:28,752 in case anyone is wondering. 136 00:04:28,777 --> 00:04:31,178 I saw cocktail sauce, though, so we are close. 137 00:04:31,180 --> 00:04:33,780 - Oh, whew. - The wedding starts soon. 138 00:04:33,782 --> 00:04:35,506 Shouldn't all this stuff be ready by now? 139 00:04:35,531 --> 00:04:37,154 Carol snapped and left us hanging, 140 00:04:37,179 --> 00:04:39,498 Sandra's sister is useless, and Jerry's family members 141 00:04:39,523 --> 00:04:41,465 are definitely related to Jerry. 142 00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:42,856 You know, it's funny. 143 00:04:42,858 --> 00:04:44,458 I always thought if Carol snapped, 144 00:04:44,460 --> 00:04:47,342 she'd do something crazier than putting laxatives in cupcakes. 145 00:04:47,367 --> 00:04:48,787 - What do you mean? - I just thought 146 00:04:48,812 --> 00:04:49,881 she'd go bigger. 147 00:04:49,906 --> 00:04:52,065 Plus, I'm surprised she did it at the bachelorette party, 148 00:04:52,067 --> 00:04:54,534 instead of the day Sandra marries her ex. 149 00:04:54,536 --> 00:04:56,136 In front of all her friends and family. 150 00:04:56,138 --> 00:04:57,871 - Mm-hmm. - Hmm. 151 00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:01,074 You don't think 152 00:05:01,076 --> 00:05:02,976 Carol's behind the shrimp delay, do you? 153 00:05:02,978 --> 00:05:04,647 Yes, definitely. 154 00:05:05,071 --> 00:05:08,048 - Strike two. - What is that bartender's problem? 155 00:05:08,050 --> 00:05:11,113 This is a wedding, not a rules convention. 156 00:05:11,114 --> 00:05:12,026 Get me a drink! 157 00:05:12,027 --> 00:05:13,887 I feel like flirting with him could've worked, 158 00:05:13,889 --> 00:05:15,555 calling him a fascist could've worked, 159 00:05:15,557 --> 00:05:17,891 but I think doing both just kind of confused him. 160 00:05:17,893 --> 00:05:20,427 Okay, centerpieces, chairs... 161 00:05:20,429 --> 00:05:22,529 Hey, Dina. Everything okay? 162 00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:23,664 Carol's going to do something. 163 00:05:23,666 --> 00:05:25,590 - I can feel it. - What? No. 164 00:05:25,615 --> 00:05:26,900 Carol's working at the store tonight. 165 00:05:26,902 --> 00:05:27,831 She's not even here. 166 00:05:27,832 --> 00:05:29,603 What if she threw us off the scent by making us think 167 00:05:29,605 --> 00:05:31,138 her plan was over at the bachelorette 168 00:05:31,140 --> 00:05:32,773 so we'd let down our guard at the wedding? 169 00:05:32,775 --> 00:05:34,708 The wedding that she helped design? 170 00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:36,176 Huh? 171 00:05:36,201 --> 00:05:37,506 If Sandra makes it through today without 172 00:05:37,531 --> 00:05:39,289 being decapitated, it will be a miracle. 173 00:05:39,314 --> 00:05:41,047 Dina, it does seem like there's a lot 174 00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:42,264 that still needs to get done. 175 00:05:42,289 --> 00:05:43,688 Isn't that kind of your job? 176 00:05:43,713 --> 00:05:45,546 My job is keeping the bride safe. 177 00:05:45,571 --> 00:05:46,871 I need to find a sewer map. 178 00:05:46,896 --> 00:05:49,084 Um, wait, Dina. Who... 179 00:05:50,396 --> 00:05:51,758 No, no, no, no, no. 180 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:54,928 This is not your problem. You have a liver to ruin. 181 00:05:54,930 --> 00:05:56,930 - Yes, but... - I'm sure 182 00:05:56,932 --> 00:05:58,031 they're going to figure it out. 183 00:05:58,033 --> 00:05:59,725 Yeah, yeah, no. Totally, totally. 184 00:05:59,750 --> 00:06:03,085 Things have a way of working out for Sandra. 185 00:06:04,113 --> 00:06:05,982 Hey, guys. Having fun? 186 00:06:06,007 --> 00:06:07,373 Don't forget to sign the guest book. 187 00:06:07,375 --> 00:06:08,568 Sandra! 188 00:06:08,610 --> 00:06:10,510 - You look beautiful! - Yeah! 189 00:06:10,512 --> 00:06:12,478 And why are you carrying chairs? 190 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:13,613 Yeah, do you need a hand, or... 191 00:06:13,615 --> 00:06:15,315 No, no, no. It's just, uh, 192 00:06:15,317 --> 00:06:16,549 I don't know where Dina is, 193 00:06:16,551 --> 00:06:19,322 and, uh, Jerry's busy parking cars, so... 194 00:06:19,821 --> 00:06:21,328 It's fine. You guys are guests. 195 00:06:21,353 --> 00:06:22,479 Sit down, enjoy. 196 00:06:24,991 --> 00:06:26,059 - I have to. - I know. 197 00:06:26,061 --> 00:06:26,936 - I hate it. - I know. 198 00:06:26,938 --> 00:06:29,256 Oh, God. Sandra, stop, please. 199 00:06:29,593 --> 00:06:31,360 I-I will make sure everything gets done. 200 00:06:31,385 --> 00:06:32,617 You go. Get ready. 201 00:06:32,774 --> 00:06:35,875 Oh, really? Thank you so much. 202 00:06:35,941 --> 00:06:38,071 Maybe I can still get into the family photos. 203 00:06:38,073 --> 00:06:40,273 Yes. Go, go, go. 204 00:06:40,432 --> 00:06:42,399 I can't wait to have some champagne. 205 00:06:43,025 --> 00:06:44,818 Me, too. 206 00:06:47,004 --> 00:06:48,547 All right, guys, listen up. 207 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:51,020 There is still a lot that needs to get done, 208 00:06:51,021 --> 00:06:52,104 and it is crunch time. 209 00:06:52,105 --> 00:06:53,404 I'm going to finish the centerpieces, 210 00:06:53,429 --> 00:06:55,724 Jonah, you set up the chairs. Cheyenne, can you make sure 211 00:06:55,726 --> 00:06:57,050 that the sound system's working? 212 00:06:57,051 --> 00:06:59,188 Oh, God, yeah, I totally forgot. Sorry. 213 00:07:00,165 --> 00:07:02,181 Had you already asked her to do that? 214 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:03,417 No. 215 00:07:06,896 --> 00:07:09,064 Dina, hey. Are they inviting me after all? 216 00:07:09,065 --> 00:07:11,840 'Cause I did throw my nice socks in the car, just in case. 217 00:07:11,842 --> 00:07:13,041 No, you're still not wanted here. 218 00:07:13,042 --> 00:07:14,764 Look, I'm worried that Carol is plotting something. 219 00:07:14,789 --> 00:07:15,855 Has she been acting weird? 220 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:18,545 I guess, like, her regular level. 221 00:07:18,570 --> 00:07:19,714 Okay, yeah, what's her energy like? 222 00:07:19,716 --> 00:07:21,237 Is she laughing to herself? 223 00:07:21,238 --> 00:07:23,018 Rubbing her hands together maniacally? 224 00:07:23,295 --> 00:07:24,761 Okay. She's eating a sandwich, 225 00:07:24,786 --> 00:07:26,270 not in an evil way, but... 226 00:07:26,845 --> 00:07:29,537 it's not so positive, either. Should I send a pic? 227 00:07:30,109 --> 00:07:31,358 Absolutely, you should. 228 00:07:31,732 --> 00:07:33,495 Okay, the seating cards are placed. 229 00:07:33,497 --> 00:07:35,310 Sandra's cat has the ring. 230 00:07:35,335 --> 00:07:36,721 Jonah, do you want to go make sure that the caterers 231 00:07:36,722 --> 00:07:37,884 have everything that they need? 232 00:07:37,885 --> 00:07:39,935 On it. Also, are we hanging 233 00:07:39,937 --> 00:07:42,092 these fishing nets? They're so wet. 234 00:07:42,117 --> 00:07:43,998 Were they just used? 235 00:07:44,908 --> 00:07:46,241 Oh, wow. 236 00:07:46,243 --> 00:07:48,881 You... uh, you really went all out, huh? 237 00:07:49,046 --> 00:07:51,932 The invitation said Cowboy Charlie's Old West Steakhouse. 238 00:07:51,933 --> 00:07:53,990 I assumed what any sane person would. 239 00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:55,187 I told you. 240 00:07:55,212 --> 00:07:56,645 Oh, you love this, don't you? 241 00:07:56,670 --> 00:07:58,637 This is the greatest gift I could give you. 242 00:07:58,666 --> 00:08:00,699 And now you give me the cold shoulder. 243 00:08:00,724 --> 00:08:01,857 Perfect! 244 00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:03,725 Make sure we're at their table. 245 00:08:12,750 --> 00:08:14,043 Oh, thanks. 246 00:08:14,068 --> 00:08:15,646 Hey, man, sorry about earlier. 247 00:08:15,671 --> 00:08:17,337 It's my eighth straight day of work. 248 00:08:17,362 --> 00:08:19,248 I'm usually better with pushy guests. 249 00:08:19,273 --> 00:08:20,739 Although, they're usually much older. 250 00:08:20,764 --> 00:08:24,132 - And whiter, too. - Well, she breaks barriers. 251 00:08:25,149 --> 00:08:28,283 So they have you setting up the bar and all the food? 252 00:08:28,285 --> 00:08:29,718 Man, this company is so cheap, 253 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:31,422 they never send enough people. 254 00:08:31,447 --> 00:08:34,281 But, hey, at least they pay us a whopping 9 bucks an hour. 255 00:08:34,421 --> 00:08:36,521 9 bucks? That's... wow! 256 00:08:36,593 --> 00:08:39,301 Hey, you know, I actually work 257 00:08:39,302 --> 00:08:41,428 with an organization that can help you. 258 00:08:41,429 --> 00:08:44,336 Here, take my card. There's a link to the web... 259 00:08:44,337 --> 00:08:45,454 Man, I don't want to join another cult. 260 00:08:45,507 --> 00:08:48,047 Oh, no, no, no. I'm with Raise the Wage. 261 00:08:48,072 --> 00:08:50,544 You deserve better than this. Look us up. 262 00:08:51,100 --> 00:08:52,934 - Thanks. - Yeah. 263 00:08:53,424 --> 00:08:57,053 So do I give off, like, a cult leader vibe? 264 00:08:57,317 --> 00:08:58,579 I didn't say leader. 265 00:08:59,888 --> 00:09:01,054 Ah. 266 00:09:01,894 --> 00:09:03,527 You took over a wedding. 267 00:09:03,552 --> 00:09:05,464 This is the Amy-est thing I've ever seen. 268 00:09:05,489 --> 00:09:06,984 I don't want to be doing this. 269 00:09:06,985 --> 00:09:09,170 I'm just trying to make this the best day of their dumb lives. 270 00:09:09,195 --> 00:09:11,240 - Tell me how to help. - Now you want to help, 271 00:09:11,265 --> 00:09:12,543 when we're almost done? 272 00:09:12,607 --> 00:09:14,003 Next time, figure out how to help on your own. 273 00:09:14,004 --> 00:09:15,732 - I'm not going to help you help. - You see? 274 00:09:15,757 --> 00:09:17,279 She's like a 12-year-old when I'm around. 275 00:09:17,304 --> 00:09:18,240 Oh, shut up, Eric. 276 00:09:18,265 --> 00:09:19,678 I'm like this all the time, idiot. 277 00:09:19,703 --> 00:09:21,435 Oh, she's so mad. 278 00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:23,192 This is my favorite. 279 00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:26,357 I mean, Eric, stop. Come on, she's my boss. 280 00:09:28,478 --> 00:09:30,145 I think everyone would understand 281 00:09:30,147 --> 00:09:31,614 if you just went home. 282 00:09:31,615 --> 00:09:34,149 Trust me, when Sandra and Jerry come out in their 283 00:09:34,151 --> 00:09:36,389 western garb, you're all going to look like fools. 284 00:09:38,021 --> 00:09:40,110 Dina, we should get this thing started. 285 00:09:40,111 --> 00:09:42,738 This place has line dancing at 10:00, 286 00:09:42,739 --> 00:09:46,294 and I'm not sure line dancers take kindly to boat people. 287 00:09:46,296 --> 00:09:47,651 I haven't locked everything down yet. 288 00:09:47,652 --> 00:09:49,125 Well, we're already 20 minutes behind. 289 00:09:49,126 --> 00:09:51,006 Yeah, we've got to get things going. 290 00:09:51,294 --> 00:09:53,732 I'm telling you, it isn't safe. 291 00:10:15,719 --> 00:10:17,519 Ohh... 292 00:10:26,229 --> 00:10:27,629 Jerry and Sandra 293 00:10:27,631 --> 00:10:31,043 have requested a non-religious ceremony, 294 00:10:31,068 --> 00:10:33,952 so I'd just like say that the following 295 00:10:33,977 --> 00:10:36,427 is from a book I highly recommend, 296 00:10:36,673 --> 00:10:39,340 written by the greatest and most powerful author 297 00:10:39,342 --> 00:10:41,342 in history of the world, so... 298 00:10:41,645 --> 00:10:44,533 "Love is patient, love is kind." 299 00:10:45,215 --> 00:10:47,382 "Love does not envy." 300 00:10:47,384 --> 00:10:48,498 Bomb! 301 00:10:49,271 --> 00:10:52,487 Everyone, stay calm, even though there is a bomb! 302 00:10:52,489 --> 00:10:53,521 It's not a bomb, not a bomb. 303 00:10:53,523 --> 00:10:55,857 It-it's my ankle monitor. I just... 304 00:10:55,859 --> 00:10:57,692 I-I thought I charged it. 305 00:10:57,694 --> 00:11:00,428 S-Sorry, everyone. So sorry, sorry. 306 00:11:00,430 --> 00:11:02,831 Sorry, sorry, I-I'm just going to... 307 00:11:03,716 --> 00:11:04,834 I... Mazel. 308 00:11:10,841 --> 00:11:13,908 - Oh, no. - I know, so embarrassing. 309 00:11:13,910 --> 00:11:14,876 - Yeah. - Poor guy. 310 00:11:14,878 --> 00:11:16,529 Yeah. 311 00:11:20,250 --> 00:11:22,550 Never mind. Go, Glenn, go. 312 00:11:23,137 --> 00:11:25,004 - Yeah, well... - Your speech. Get back in. 313 00:11:27,524 --> 00:11:30,625 Ah, okay, um... Jesus Christ... 314 00:11:30,658 --> 00:11:33,058 is not welcome here. 315 00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:34,397 So, um... 316 00:11:36,900 --> 00:11:42,242 So, something fun about Jerry and Sandra is that 317 00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:43,834 they have this little tradition. 318 00:11:43,859 --> 00:11:47,621 When one of them gets crabby, they have to wear a T-shirt 319 00:11:47,646 --> 00:11:48,943 with a crab on it. 320 00:11:48,945 --> 00:11:53,865 But the only time that Jerry ever put it on 321 00:11:53,890 --> 00:11:55,723 was when Sandra left town. 322 00:11:55,785 --> 00:11:57,843 Aww. Aww, that's sweet. 323 00:11:57,844 --> 00:12:00,555 I know, it's cute, isn't it? It's a little insight 324 00:12:00,580 --> 00:12:02,716 into who they are as people. 325 00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:04,983 What the [bleep], man? 326 00:12:08,165 --> 00:12:09,990 Dina, a bomb? Really? 327 00:12:09,991 --> 00:12:13,025 Nothing happened, okay? Everything's fine. 328 00:12:13,027 --> 00:12:15,694 So get it together and give Sandra what she needs. 329 00:12:15,958 --> 00:12:17,301 A lovely toast, 330 00:12:17,326 --> 00:12:19,865 some assurance that she's better than her sister, 331 00:12:19,867 --> 00:12:21,220 and no drama. 332 00:12:21,816 --> 00:12:24,660 Yeah, I got it. Sorry. 333 00:12:27,759 --> 00:12:29,559 Jonah, what are you doing? 334 00:12:29,584 --> 00:12:32,578 Just, uh, grabbing myself some grub. 335 00:12:32,580 --> 00:12:34,246 How about I grab you some and meet you back over there 336 00:12:34,248 --> 00:12:36,882 - at the table? - Um, doesn't catering 337 00:12:36,884 --> 00:12:38,215 have people who can do this? 338 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:39,852 Uh, yeah, they did. 339 00:12:39,854 --> 00:12:42,087 Until a bunch of them walked off. 340 00:12:42,089 --> 00:12:44,573 They got really upset about the pay. You know, these things bubble up, 341 00:12:44,626 --> 00:12:46,566 - no rhyme or reason... - You too, man? 342 00:12:46,591 --> 00:12:49,198 I-I forgot how inspiring I can be. 343 00:12:49,764 --> 00:12:51,931 Justine, how are you at cutting cake? 344 00:12:51,933 --> 00:12:53,430 Honestly, weird. 345 00:12:58,072 --> 00:13:00,606 - Hey. - How's it going? 346 00:13:00,608 --> 00:13:02,326 The charging light is acting up. 347 00:13:02,777 --> 00:13:04,609 I called ICE to complain, but, you know, 348 00:13:04,634 --> 00:13:06,681 they're not really known for their customer service. 349 00:13:07,548 --> 00:13:08,896 So embarrassing. 350 00:13:08,921 --> 00:13:11,410 Whatever, it was exciting. And now you're, like, 351 00:13:11,552 --> 00:13:12,585 the story of the wedding. 352 00:13:12,587 --> 00:13:14,820 Yeah, it's fine. Just juice that bad boy up, 353 00:13:14,822 --> 00:13:16,479 and we'll get back out there. 354 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,463 It takes two hours. 355 00:13:18,488 --> 00:13:20,341 - What? - You two should go. 356 00:13:20,761 --> 00:13:21,865 I'm good. 357 00:13:22,296 --> 00:13:24,263 I saw that Lasagna Bear is trending on twitter, 358 00:13:24,265 --> 00:13:26,085 so I definitely have to see what that's all about. 359 00:13:27,935 --> 00:13:29,217 I'm going to hang out. 360 00:13:31,017 --> 00:13:32,336 I like it in here. 361 00:13:34,108 --> 00:13:35,741 Cool, okay, you two hang. 362 00:13:35,743 --> 00:13:37,476 Because to me, this room sucks. 363 00:13:37,478 --> 00:13:39,645 I mean, compared to out there, where the party is? 364 00:13:39,977 --> 00:13:41,244 This is not close. 365 00:13:42,283 --> 00:13:46,151 ? You're my weirdo ? 366 00:13:46,153 --> 00:13:50,881 ? I'm so happy that you're here ? 367 00:13:50,906 --> 00:13:54,357 ? We both belong here ? 368 00:13:55,282 --> 00:13:59,810 ? We both belong here ? 369 00:14:05,006 --> 00:14:07,225 Hey, I just wanted to say thank you. 370 00:14:07,250 --> 00:14:10,224 Your anecdote really got me back on track. 371 00:14:10,645 --> 00:14:13,345 And it went over great. I booked three more weddings. 372 00:14:13,347 --> 00:14:14,847 Hey, Glenn, that's the only story I had. 373 00:14:14,849 --> 00:14:16,318 That's all I know about them. 374 00:14:16,724 --> 00:14:18,957 Okay, I'm sorry. I just... I panicked. 375 00:14:18,982 --> 00:14:21,186 But you're going to be fine. 376 00:14:21,188 --> 00:14:23,122 I remember you told me something about 377 00:14:23,124 --> 00:14:25,891 you and Jerry eating corn, so maybe go with that. 378 00:14:25,893 --> 00:14:27,359 What? We ate corn once. 379 00:14:27,361 --> 00:14:29,695 Well, don't just blurt it out. 380 00:14:29,697 --> 00:14:33,465 Come on, paint me a picture. What time of day was it? 381 00:14:33,467 --> 00:14:36,026 Was there butter? Hmm? Was there salt? 382 00:14:38,572 --> 00:14:40,339 Marcus, I realize you feel left out, 383 00:14:40,341 --> 00:14:42,408 but you have to let the invited move on with our lives. 384 00:14:42,410 --> 00:14:44,677 No, I'm calling to see if we have a spare key 385 00:14:44,679 --> 00:14:47,012 to the printer ink case. Elias can't find one, 386 00:14:47,014 --> 00:14:48,180 and Carol's not answering her walkie. 387 00:14:48,182 --> 00:14:49,815 - Wait, really? - Yeah. 388 00:14:49,817 --> 00:14:52,215 No one knows where she is, and it's a bad time, man. 389 00:14:52,216 --> 00:14:54,053 We've got that Saturday night ink rush. 390 00:14:55,056 --> 00:14:56,480 It's go time. 391 00:14:57,358 --> 00:15:00,092 So I don't have access to the printer case, 392 00:15:00,094 --> 00:15:02,792 but I can offer you condoms or razors. 393 00:15:03,564 --> 00:15:04,730 Take your pick. 394 00:15:05,499 --> 00:15:08,294 A lot of people assume I'm the younger sister, 395 00:15:08,769 --> 00:15:10,903 and I am. It's pretty obvious. 396 00:15:12,053 --> 00:15:13,241 Love you. 397 00:15:13,274 --> 00:15:14,990 Remember to moisturize, okay? 398 00:15:15,409 --> 00:15:18,077 And now, I'm going to pass it on to the best man, 399 00:15:18,079 --> 00:15:20,279 Jerry's best friend, Garrett. 400 00:15:21,549 --> 00:15:22,881 Here we go. 401 00:15:22,883 --> 00:15:24,466 So, uh, 402 00:15:25,886 --> 00:15:29,755 one story that comes to mind when I think of Jerry 403 00:15:29,757 --> 00:15:33,920 is Jerry and I went to... 404 00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:38,365 A rodeo. 405 00:15:39,437 --> 00:15:41,243 Yeah, yeah, it's funny, 406 00:15:41,402 --> 00:15:43,268 because we're in a cowboy restaurant, 407 00:15:43,270 --> 00:15:45,971 but I would've told this story either way. 408 00:15:45,973 --> 00:15:47,940 Um, so we're at the rodeo, right? 409 00:15:47,942 --> 00:15:52,978 And we're watching these guys ride the bucking broncos. 410 00:15:52,980 --> 00:15:56,000 And Jerry leans over to me and says... 411 00:15:58,452 --> 00:15:59,834 "I can do that." 412 00:16:02,223 --> 00:16:04,045 Really? 413 00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:08,299 It was so sad. So sad. 414 00:16:08,672 --> 00:16:10,385 You sure I can't get you a drink? 415 00:16:10,998 --> 00:16:13,115 - No. - Cranberry juice? 416 00:16:13,334 --> 00:16:14,653 What do I have, a UTI? 417 00:16:16,103 --> 00:16:19,031 Sorry. Just go enjoy the wedding. 418 00:16:20,674 --> 00:16:22,641 That sounds like something someone says but they don't 419 00:16:22,643 --> 00:16:25,701 - actually want you to do it. - It's not like that, okay? 420 00:16:25,726 --> 00:16:28,247 There's no reason for both of us to be stuck back here. 421 00:16:28,249 --> 00:16:31,517 - You sure? - Please, just go have fun! 422 00:16:32,390 --> 00:16:34,060 All right, I'll be back in a few. 423 00:16:37,106 --> 00:16:38,119 Rude. 424 00:16:38,325 --> 00:16:41,527 So we're flying, okay? We're doing 80 425 00:16:41,529 --> 00:16:43,462 down the freeway, and the mob guys 426 00:16:43,464 --> 00:16:46,999 are chasing us 'cause they had money on the rodeo, all right? 427 00:16:47,001 --> 00:16:48,066 And I lean over to Jerry. 428 00:16:48,068 --> 00:16:50,602 I go, "Jerry, what are you getting me into here?" 429 00:16:50,604 --> 00:16:53,066 And Jerry, calm as a cucumber, 430 00:16:53,091 --> 00:16:56,384 looks at me, tips down his sunglasses, and goes, 431 00:16:56,615 --> 00:16:57,894 "Welcome to my life." 432 00:17:00,381 --> 00:17:02,848 - "Welcome to my life"! - So, Sandra, 433 00:17:02,850 --> 00:17:04,616 welcome to Jerry's life. 434 00:17:04,618 --> 00:17:08,053 Let's all raise a glass to many more adventures. 435 00:17:08,055 --> 00:17:10,272 - Congratulations. - Cheers. 436 00:17:10,991 --> 00:17:12,833 When did you get sunglasses? 437 00:17:13,068 --> 00:17:15,694 - I guess at a rodeo. - All right, so next up, 438 00:17:15,696 --> 00:17:19,459 we have the maid of honor. Um, Dina? 439 00:17:20,034 --> 00:17:22,201 Anyone? 5'9", brown hair, 440 00:17:22,203 --> 00:17:23,902 shouted, "Bomb!" during the ceremony? 441 00:17:23,904 --> 00:17:26,307 Damn it, Dina. You had one job. 442 00:17:29,490 --> 00:17:30,342 Uh, okay. 443 00:17:30,344 --> 00:17:33,011 Uh, so what else can I tell you guys about Jerry? 444 00:17:34,271 --> 00:17:35,779 Um, apparently anything I want. 445 00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:38,303 - Okay. - Dina, come on, you... 446 00:17:39,865 --> 00:17:40,895 What the hell? 447 00:17:43,599 --> 00:17:44,899 So your crisis of conscience 448 00:17:44,901 --> 00:17:46,412 - at the bachelorette? - Totally fake. 449 00:17:46,437 --> 00:17:48,035 I wanted you all to let your guard down. 450 00:17:48,060 --> 00:17:49,844 I knew it! Yes! 451 00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:50,969 But what are you doing now? 452 00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:52,464 Are you gonna kill Sandra's cat? 453 00:17:52,465 --> 00:17:53,724 Dina, she's not gonna kill the... 454 00:17:53,725 --> 00:17:54,817 I'm gonna kill the cat. 455 00:17:54,818 --> 00:17:57,266 Oh, yes... two for two! 456 00:17:57,267 --> 00:18:00,798 "Oh, I'm marrying Jerry. It's the best day of my life." 457 00:18:00,799 --> 00:18:02,771 We'll see about that when your cat explodes 458 00:18:02,773 --> 00:18:03,923 on the dance floor. 459 00:18:03,948 --> 00:18:05,653 Wait, you're going to blow up the cat? 460 00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:07,942 Okay, that was misleading. I'm going to throw it 461 00:18:07,944 --> 00:18:09,544 over the balcony, and ideally, 462 00:18:09,546 --> 00:18:11,446 the impact will make it explode. 463 00:18:11,448 --> 00:18:13,214 Carol, you can't do that! 464 00:18:13,216 --> 00:18:14,883 Yeah, that carrier's way too sturdy. 465 00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:16,418 - The cat will never explode. - No, Dina. 466 00:18:16,420 --> 00:18:18,119 I mean, like, she shouldn't kill the cat. 467 00:18:18,121 --> 00:18:20,688 Yeah, and she won't, if she throws it in that carrier. 468 00:18:20,690 --> 00:18:22,724 It could totally die in here, Dina. 469 00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:23,925 It's a 15-foot drop. 470 00:18:23,927 --> 00:18:25,627 These things are built sturdy for travel. 471 00:18:25,629 --> 00:18:27,128 It will absorb all of the impact. 472 00:18:27,130 --> 00:18:28,463 Dina, this really isn't the point. 473 00:18:28,465 --> 00:18:29,931 This is a very good plan. 474 00:18:29,933 --> 00:18:31,592 It is a terrible plan. 475 00:18:31,617 --> 00:18:33,417 The bottom's completely rubberized. Look at it. 476 00:18:33,442 --> 00:18:35,642 No, it's not completely... oh! 477 00:18:35,772 --> 00:18:37,305 Oh! 478 00:18:37,307 --> 00:18:39,021 We got the cat back! 479 00:18:39,476 --> 00:18:42,217 We? You just stood there with your Wang in the wind! 480 00:18:50,814 --> 00:18:52,615 Tough night, huh? 481 00:18:53,951 --> 00:18:55,457 What are you talking about? 482 00:18:55,459 --> 00:18:58,920 I love being stuck back here, tied to this wall. 483 00:18:59,963 --> 00:19:01,996 My little friend. Plus, my phone died, 484 00:19:01,998 --> 00:19:03,998 and Eric hasn't been by in an hour, so... 485 00:19:05,428 --> 00:19:06,657 Yeah. 486 00:19:07,390 --> 00:19:08,841 He left, didn't he? 487 00:19:10,474 --> 00:19:11,663 I'm sorry. 488 00:19:11,912 --> 00:19:14,613 I don't blame him. It's my fault. 489 00:19:14,678 --> 00:19:16,244 I don't know what I was thinking, 490 00:19:16,246 --> 00:19:18,123 trying to get into a normal relationship. 491 00:19:18,148 --> 00:19:23,251 It was going so well, you know, that I forgot about all this. 492 00:19:23,353 --> 00:19:25,920 It's just too much to ask him to deal with, you know? 493 00:19:25,922 --> 00:19:27,856 Well, I can stay here with you, 494 00:19:27,858 --> 00:19:29,924 and we can watch Lasagna Bear on my phone. 495 00:19:29,926 --> 00:19:31,025 I watched it. 496 00:19:31,027 --> 00:19:32,527 It's just a bear eating a lasagna. 497 00:19:32,529 --> 00:19:33,862 I don't know what I was expecting. 498 00:19:33,864 --> 00:19:36,081 Yeah, the internet has gotten so bad. 499 00:19:36,106 --> 00:19:37,490 Yeah, I think it's over. 500 00:19:38,227 --> 00:19:39,381 Sorry to interrupt, 501 00:19:39,775 --> 00:19:42,628 but I was wondering if you wanted to dance. 502 00:19:45,842 --> 00:19:47,675 The cat's not going to last... 503 00:19:47,677 --> 00:19:50,945 Dina, where have you been? I've been looking for you. 504 00:19:50,947 --> 00:19:52,795 - You missed your speech. - Hey, Sandra. 505 00:19:52,820 --> 00:19:55,116 Listen, I know Dina's been all over the place. 506 00:19:55,118 --> 00:19:57,693 But just trust me, it was for a good reason. 507 00:19:58,359 --> 00:19:59,485 Was it her? 508 00:20:00,789 --> 00:20:02,037 Was it bad? 509 00:20:02,724 --> 00:20:04,792 - Almost. - Is it over? 510 00:20:05,137 --> 00:20:06,245 It's over. 511 00:20:07,330 --> 00:20:08,376 Oh. 512 00:20:08,632 --> 00:20:09,786 Aww. 513 00:20:09,896 --> 00:20:12,066 Amy, this is kind of a private moment. 514 00:20:12,068 --> 00:20:13,190 Yeah. 515 00:20:14,529 --> 00:20:16,615 Hey, there you are, I was looking for you. 516 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:17,639 Everything okay? 517 00:20:17,641 --> 00:20:18,907 Yup, cat's fine. 518 00:20:18,909 --> 00:20:21,175 Oh, wow. Now we're talking. 519 00:20:21,177 --> 00:20:23,011 Oh, that was actually for m-me. 520 00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:24,412 - If you want, I can... - Yes, bar. 521 00:20:24,414 --> 00:20:25,552 Got it. 522 00:20:43,357 --> 00:20:45,447 I know this is really awkward but, 523 00:20:45,449 --> 00:20:47,826 I have to fire you from Sandra's wedding. 524 00:20:49,241 --> 00:20:51,596 - I get zero perks for dating the boss. - Um hmm. 525 00:20:52,630 --> 00:20:53,668 What? 526 00:20:58,181 --> 00:21:00,181 You sure you want all this? 527 00:21:00,284 --> 00:21:01,534 That ship already sailed. 528 00:21:01,535 --> 00:21:04,026 This is not something you are doing to me. 529 00:21:04,027 --> 00:21:06,115 This is something we are doing to each other. 530 00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:09,529 I like being married to you. 531 00:21:09,823 --> 00:21:12,685 Yes! I'm having a really good time. 532 00:21:15,929 --> 00:21:23,359 credits