1 00:00:02,922 --> 00:00:06,716 Introducing the new spokesperson 2 00:00:06,741 --> 00:00:08,829 for Wag and Bone Dog Food, 3 00:00:08,929 --> 00:00:12,333 Mr. Jack Mc... 4 00:00:13,935 --> 00:00:16,598 - Line... - You know my last name, Karen. 5 00:00:16,698 --> 00:00:19,361 Honey, I did Ayahuasca with shaman last night. 6 00:00:19,461 --> 00:00:21,863 I don't know if it's raining or Tuesday. 7 00:00:23,906 --> 00:00:25,648 You really booked a commercial? 8 00:00:25,748 --> 00:00:28,531 Technically, I probably booked it. 9 00:00:28,631 --> 00:00:31,756 They unofficially told the gal who's basically my agent 10 00:00:31,856 --> 00:00:33,729 that it's between me 11 00:00:33,829 --> 00:00:35,819 and approximately three other guys, 12 00:00:35,919 --> 00:00:39,703 so...... it's in the bag. 13 00:00:39,803 --> 00:00:40,944 Congrats, Jack. 14 00:00:41,044 --> 00:00:44,228 Now, will you be playing the dog or the human? 15 00:00:44,588 --> 00:00:46,851 See, guys, this is why I do it. 16 00:00:46,951 --> 00:00:50,495 All the years of people saying, "You're too good for that job. 17 00:00:50,595 --> 00:00:52,056 You should be leading a bigger life." 18 00:00:52,156 --> 00:00:55,981 "Sir, this is a library. Put your pants back on." 19 00:00:56,081 --> 00:00:58,063 Karen's taking me out to celebrate. 20 00:00:58,163 --> 00:00:59,665 I thought you had a temp job today. 21 00:00:59,765 --> 00:01:02,468 Oh, that's right. I forgot. 22 00:01:02,568 --> 00:01:04,510 I picked up a day as a rehearsal pianist. 23 00:01:04,610 --> 00:01:07,253 God, why did you make me a triple threat? 24 00:01:10,096 --> 00:01:13,265 Honey, call in sick. Easy-peasy. Check it out. 25 00:01:14,421 --> 00:01:17,304 Chris, I can't make it in today. 26 00:01:23,230 --> 00:01:25,793 I sprained my ankle. 27 00:01:28,516 --> 00:01:30,659 You know that Grace is still here? 28 00:01:30,759 --> 00:01:34,022 Jesus, does that woman ever work? 29 00:01:34,122 --> 00:01:36,125 Hasta la homos. 30 00:01:38,447 --> 00:01:40,630 I don't wanna work today. 31 00:01:40,730 --> 00:01:42,872 It's so expected. 32 00:01:42,972 --> 00:01:45,034 You're my lawyer. Get me out of this. 33 00:01:45,505 --> 00:01:47,878 In the case of McFarland v. Reality, 34 00:01:47,978 --> 00:01:50,941 the Supreme Court ruled, grow up. 35 00:01:51,982 --> 00:01:54,285 - Adults go to work. - Why aren't you at work? 36 00:01:54,385 --> 00:01:56,066 Oh, I scored a ticket to the Princess Diana gown exhibit 37 00:01:56,147 --> 00:01:57,548 at the Met before it opens to the public. 38 00:01:57,628 --> 00:01:59,911 I am freaking out. 39 00:02:01,833 --> 00:02:04,856 - Oh... - You look shmancy. 40 00:02:04,956 --> 00:02:06,558 If I was straight, I'd stare at you like a creep 41 00:02:06,638 --> 00:02:08,760 and tell you to smile more. 42 00:02:11,123 --> 00:02:13,325 I am going to the gynecologist. 43 00:02:15,167 --> 00:02:19,232 What's with the faces? You both came out of vaginas. 44 00:02:19,332 --> 00:02:20,958 I didn't. 45 00:02:22,335 --> 00:02:24,978 I am a Platinum Star Gay. 46 00:02:25,899 --> 00:02:27,321 Gay-splain, please? 47 00:02:27,421 --> 00:02:29,063 A Gold Star Gay has never been with a woman. 48 00:02:29,143 --> 00:02:30,725 Platinum haven't been with a woman, 49 00:02:30,825 --> 00:02:32,927 and they were born via C-section. 50 00:02:33,027 --> 00:02:35,055 Hence they've never touched a vagine. 51 00:02:38,473 --> 00:02:40,616 It's all in his book, "Men Are From Mars; 52 00:02:40,716 --> 00:02:42,938 Who Cares Where Women Came From?" 53 00:02:47,184 --> 00:02:55,272 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 54 00:02:57,614 --> 00:02:59,877 Where am I? What's going on? 55 00:02:59,977 --> 00:03:02,119 You. I know you. 56 00:03:02,219 --> 00:03:04,882 - You work here? - I'm Sheila, your nurse. 57 00:03:04,982 --> 00:03:06,484 I used to work at the sperm bank, 58 00:03:06,584 --> 00:03:08,126 where you tried to have a gay baby... 59 00:03:08,226 --> 00:03:11,610 or the donor was gay. I don't know, it was super gay. 60 00:03:11,710 --> 00:03:13,131 What happened to me? 61 00:03:13,231 --> 00:03:14,733 The doctor found some weird cells, 62 00:03:14,833 --> 00:03:16,615 and so he did a biopsy on your left breast. 63 00:03:18,117 --> 00:03:21,060 Wait, left... 64 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:24,003 Oh, that's the big one. 65 00:03:26,165 --> 00:03:29,289 - So, are you telling me I have... - Cancer. 66 00:03:30,450 --> 00:03:33,153 I mean, you might have cancer. 67 00:03:33,253 --> 00:03:36,217 There's a very, very, very slim chance that you have it. 68 00:03:38,059 --> 00:03:41,062 You're supposed to lead with that. 69 00:03:42,063 --> 00:03:45,166 I'm... I'm taking this really well. 70 00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:47,169 Why am I taking this really well? 71 00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:49,852 Because you're coming out of a very heavy sedation. 72 00:03:49,952 --> 00:03:51,493 We called your emergency contact. 73 00:03:51,593 --> 00:03:55,157 - He's waiting outside. - Oh, good, I need Will. 74 00:03:56,959 --> 00:03:58,889 Hey, Grace. 75 00:03:59,362 --> 00:04:00,447 Leo? 76 00:04:07,258 --> 00:04:10,482 Hi, I'm Jack, the rehearsal pianist from Temporary Players. 77 00:04:10,582 --> 00:04:12,644 - I'm looking for Alvin. - I'm Alvin. 78 00:04:12,744 --> 00:04:14,046 Churro? 79 00:04:14,146 --> 00:04:16,208 Uh, one, two, three, four, five... 80 00:04:16,308 --> 00:04:18,050 I'm sorry, I can't do it. Thank you though. 81 00:04:18,150 --> 00:04:20,048 Um, so where does the magic happen? 82 00:04:20,148 --> 00:04:21,831 Oh, we had to cancel the magic program, 83 00:04:21,856 --> 00:04:24,457 'cause the money disappeared. 84 00:04:24,557 --> 00:04:26,500 No, the theatrical magic, 85 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:30,337 where thespians work onstage, and "lespians" build the sets. 86 00:04:31,285 --> 00:04:33,908 If you talking about the theater, it's right there. 87 00:04:34,008 --> 00:04:35,349 I'm sorry, um, but in the words of 88 00:04:35,449 --> 00:04:37,832 my dear friend Amanda Bynes, 89 00:04:37,932 --> 00:04:39,805 where am I? 90 00:04:42,297 --> 00:04:44,760 This is the Bronx Boys & Girls Club. 91 00:04:44,860 --> 00:04:46,882 You're teaching an afterschool drama class. 92 00:04:46,982 --> 00:04:48,844 - Starts at 3:00. - Alvin, was it? 93 00:04:48,944 --> 00:04:50,246 - Alvin with an A? - Yep. Mm-hm. 94 00:04:50,346 --> 00:04:52,768 Alvin as in, "Alvin!" 95 00:04:52,868 --> 00:04:54,864 Don't do that. 96 00:04:54,889 --> 00:04:56,912 - Alvin... - Mm-hm. 97 00:04:56,913 --> 00:04:58,856 I used to teach, now I do. 98 00:04:58,956 --> 00:05:01,979 In fact, I'm an almost working actor again. 99 00:05:02,079 --> 00:05:03,861 You probably don't recognize me 100 00:05:03,961 --> 00:05:05,843 from the regional dog food commercial I'm about to get, 101 00:05:05,923 --> 00:05:08,292 but I certainly can't consider teaching kids 102 00:05:08,373 --> 00:05:09,891 in an afterschool drama program, 103 00:05:09,971 --> 00:05:11,377 but I think what you do here is great. 104 00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:13,197 - You know, it's great, great. - Oh, yeah, it's best. 105 00:05:13,277 --> 00:05:14,953 You know the Bronx silver service credo: 106 00:05:15,053 --> 00:05:18,777 Come for the free internet, stay for the Obamacare... 107 00:05:20,259 --> 00:05:21,721 For now. 108 00:05:23,142 --> 00:05:26,226 I don't get that. I'll see you later. 109 00:05:27,467 --> 00:05:29,129 Pickles! 110 00:05:29,229 --> 00:05:31,131 Pickles to heck! 111 00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:32,873 I'm not familiar with that expression, 112 00:05:32,953 --> 00:05:35,095 but I'm guessing you didn't get that commercial. 113 00:05:35,195 --> 00:05:38,359 When you guess, you make an ass of you and me. 114 00:05:40,041 --> 00:05:42,367 Well, you wanna teach, pickles? 115 00:05:43,004 --> 00:05:45,727 'Cause it sounds like you're not gonna do. 116 00:05:47,929 --> 00:05:51,501 How heavy was that sedation? 117 00:05:51,854 --> 00:05:53,756 Because I feel like 118 00:05:53,856 --> 00:05:57,320 my ex-husband is standing right there. 119 00:05:57,420 --> 00:06:00,684 I think I'm still listed as your emergency contact. 120 00:06:00,784 --> 00:06:03,121 How could that be? I told Karen to... 121 00:06:03,146 --> 00:06:05,188 oh, that's how. 122 00:06:07,231 --> 00:06:09,173 I'm sensing some tension here. 123 00:06:09,273 --> 00:06:10,895 - Who cheated? - He did. 124 00:06:10,995 --> 00:06:13,277 Wow, seriously? That was just a shot in the dark. 125 00:06:14,358 --> 00:06:17,382 It's a little bit more complicated than that. 126 00:06:17,482 --> 00:06:18,783 Is it? 127 00:06:20,485 --> 00:06:25,271 Acting is rejection, rejection, rejection. 128 00:06:25,371 --> 00:06:26,872 Hope? 129 00:06:26,972 --> 00:06:29,595 No, rejection. 130 00:06:29,695 --> 00:06:32,018 So if any one of you can picture yourselves doing anything, 131 00:06:32,098 --> 00:06:34,057 anything other than acting, 132 00:06:34,157 --> 00:06:36,763 I'm gonna have to ask you to leave right now. 133 00:06:36,863 --> 00:06:38,565 You, what do you wanna do? 134 00:06:38,665 --> 00:06:40,327 I wanna be a fireman. 135 00:06:40,427 --> 00:06:42,129 Oh, really? 136 00:06:42,229 --> 00:06:43,929 Get out! 137 00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:46,734 Not... not out, out. You're a kid, that's crazy. 138 00:06:46,759 --> 00:06:48,501 Just go to the bleachers. 139 00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:50,138 If I seem intense, 140 00:06:50,238 --> 00:06:53,021 it's for one reason and one reason only, 'kay? 141 00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:56,785 I don't wanna be here, and I'm really sad. 142 00:06:57,234 --> 00:06:58,587 That's two things. 143 00:06:58,687 --> 00:07:00,189 Jordan, get out! 144 00:07:00,289 --> 00:07:02,511 I can't bear to look at ya! 145 00:07:02,611 --> 00:07:04,273 Not out, out. You're a kid, that's crazy. 146 00:07:04,373 --> 00:07:06,276 Just go to the office. Just go to the office. 147 00:07:06,376 --> 00:07:08,618 Look, if you have any hope of making it in this business, 148 00:07:08,698 --> 00:07:12,122 you have to give me your undivided attention, okay? 149 00:07:12,222 --> 00:07:13,962 Fully commit here and now. 150 00:07:14,062 --> 00:07:15,386 You can't let anything distract you from... 151 00:07:15,466 --> 00:07:17,928 oh, my God, Karen's here. What are you doing here? 152 00:07:18,028 --> 00:07:19,690 Well, I thought about going into work, 153 00:07:19,790 --> 00:07:21,292 but Grace is at the lady doctor, 154 00:07:21,392 --> 00:07:23,154 and if there's anything I don't wanna deal with, 155 00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:25,917 it's Grace and her angry inch. 156 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,896 Honey, I'll just wait for you to finish, 157 00:07:30,929 --> 00:07:33,492 and maybe we'll find a nasty roof party 158 00:07:33,517 --> 00:07:35,247 and do a little beep-boop. 159 00:07:37,970 --> 00:07:40,313 I didn't wanna say Molly in front of the kids. 160 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,400 Look, thank you for bringing me home. 161 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:50,164 Obviously, I'm going to change my emergency contact. 162 00:07:50,264 --> 00:07:53,047 That's all right. It ain't nothing. 163 00:07:53,147 --> 00:07:54,945 - I forgot you did that. - What? 164 00:07:54,970 --> 00:07:57,212 When you wanna defuse tension, you... 165 00:07:57,312 --> 00:08:00,435 Turn up the Cajun spices. 166 00:08:02,437 --> 00:08:07,143 "Why, I'm just a handsome po' boy from N'Awlins. 167 00:08:07,243 --> 00:08:11,516 I'm just eating my bowl of zydeco." 168 00:08:12,088 --> 00:08:14,862 So, a po' boy is a sandwich, 169 00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:16,435 and zydeco is a form of music, 170 00:08:16,535 --> 00:08:18,621 and I am from Baton Rouge, 171 00:08:18,721 --> 00:08:20,517 which is a completely different accent, 172 00:08:20,617 --> 00:08:21,839 which I lost years ago. 173 00:08:21,939 --> 00:08:25,238 I say, I say, yes, you did. 174 00:08:26,143 --> 00:08:28,700 I'm not Foghorn Leghorn. 175 00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,229 But I'm gonna give you a pass, 'cause I know that you're 176 00:08:31,309 --> 00:08:33,111 worried about your test results. 177 00:08:33,191 --> 00:08:34,613 I'm not worried. 178 00:08:34,713 --> 00:08:36,295 Everything's gonna be fine. 179 00:08:36,395 --> 00:08:38,457 You know, it's okay if you tell me, Grace. 180 00:08:38,557 --> 00:08:40,900 Seriously, I'm not worried about it. 181 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,822 I'm fine. 182 00:08:42,922 --> 00:08:44,423 You can go now, Leo. 183 00:08:44,523 --> 00:08:46,472 One of the good things about being single 184 00:08:46,497 --> 00:08:50,570 is you learn how to get through a crisis alone. 185 00:08:51,811 --> 00:08:54,555 - Hey. - I almost died today! 186 00:08:54,655 --> 00:08:56,877 What? 187 00:08:56,977 --> 00:08:58,559 What are you talking about? 188 00:08:58,659 --> 00:09:01,202 I had an emergency biopsy of my boob. 189 00:09:01,302 --> 00:09:04,706 - The big one? - Yeah! 190 00:09:07,469 --> 00:09:09,411 I'm gonna get the results later today. 191 00:09:09,511 --> 00:09:11,113 - Grace, that must've been so... - Terrifying. 192 00:09:11,193 --> 00:09:12,454 - Did it... - They knocked me out. 193 00:09:12,554 --> 00:09:14,256 - Because you're a big... - A big baby. 194 00:09:14,356 --> 00:09:15,477 Yeah, yeah. Come on, sit. 'Kay, sit down. 195 00:09:15,558 --> 00:09:17,580 - How do you feel? - Not good! 196 00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:19,062 I might have cancer. 197 00:09:19,162 --> 00:09:22,045 - I smell toast. - Wh... 198 00:09:23,847 --> 00:09:25,849 I made toast. 199 00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:29,073 Wait, you're eating bread? 200 00:09:29,173 --> 00:09:31,155 It's not a cheat day. What's wrong? 201 00:09:31,255 --> 00:09:32,616 No, I don't wanna make this about me. 202 00:09:32,696 --> 00:09:34,799 You... you're dealing with something real. 203 00:09:34,899 --> 00:09:36,921 - Have you been crying? - No... 204 00:09:37,021 --> 00:09:39,560 I went to the Princess Diana exhibit, 205 00:09:40,225 --> 00:09:42,307 which was amazing... 206 00:09:43,869 --> 00:09:45,951 But I bought remastered DVDS of the wedding and the funeral, 207 00:09:46,031 --> 00:09:48,934 and I watched them back to back, and now I'm eating my feelings. 208 00:09:49,034 --> 00:09:50,776 How could you do that to yourself? 209 00:09:50,876 --> 00:09:53,993 She really was like a candle in the wind. 210 00:09:54,641 --> 00:09:57,183 Speaking of just hanging out in the wind, 211 00:09:57,283 --> 00:09:59,306 - I'm here. - Leo? 212 00:09:59,406 --> 00:10:01,478 - How you doing, Will? - What are you doing he... 213 00:10:01,578 --> 00:10:03,831 oh, please, God, tell me you're not back together, 214 00:10:03,931 --> 00:10:06,594 unless you are, in which case... 215 00:10:06,694 --> 00:10:08,316 Yay. 216 00:10:08,416 --> 00:10:10,638 He's still my emergency contact. 217 00:10:10,738 --> 00:10:12,761 What? I thought you told Karen to... 218 00:10:12,861 --> 00:10:14,402 oh, yeah, that makes sense. 219 00:10:14,502 --> 00:10:16,244 You know, you should've probably been 220 00:10:16,344 --> 00:10:19,007 her emergency contact, even when we were married. 221 00:10:19,107 --> 00:10:20,694 Good luck with the test results, Grace. 222 00:10:20,774 --> 00:10:23,132 Will, it was... it was good seeing you. 223 00:10:23,232 --> 00:10:24,694 What did he mean by that? 224 00:10:24,794 --> 00:10:26,475 I think he just meant it was nice to see me, 225 00:10:26,556 --> 00:10:27,837 and he understood that my feelings about... 226 00:10:27,917 --> 00:10:29,779 No, the thing before that. 227 00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:32,903 What did you mean by Will being my, uh, emergency contact 228 00:10:33,003 --> 00:10:34,826 - when we were married? - Grace, it doesn't matter. 229 00:10:34,855 --> 00:10:35,986 No, just say it. 230 00:10:36,141 --> 00:10:37,463 You never shared anything with me. 231 00:10:37,488 --> 00:10:39,190 You always ran to Will. 232 00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:41,672 Wasn't that the problem with our marriage? 233 00:10:41,772 --> 00:10:43,835 You could never be in a relationship with me, 234 00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:47,564 because you're always gonna have this weird thing with Will. 235 00:10:47,739 --> 00:10:49,841 Oh, so that's it? I don't get a last word? 236 00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:51,558 No, you get the last word 237 00:10:51,583 --> 00:10:54,526 by bringing up who gets the last word. 238 00:10:54,626 --> 00:10:56,288 Well, how about we're done talking 239 00:10:56,388 --> 00:10:58,368 and no one gets the last word? 240 00:10:58,393 --> 00:10:59,820 - Fine. - You did it again! 241 00:10:59,845 --> 00:11:01,774 You know what, I want the last word, 242 00:11:01,874 --> 00:11:03,296 so you get on that elevator, 243 00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:05,659 and you stand there silently, 244 00:11:05,759 --> 00:11:08,302 until the door closes in your face. 245 00:11:08,327 --> 00:11:10,649 - You know, this is... - Ay... oh... oh... ooh... 246 00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:14,741 Last word. 247 00:11:15,489 --> 00:11:17,952 - Bye, Grace. - Dah... 248 00:11:20,455 --> 00:11:22,397 Why is your friend at the lady doctor? 249 00:11:22,497 --> 00:11:24,119 Why does anyone go to any doctor? 250 00:11:24,219 --> 00:11:26,419 Fear and pills. 251 00:11:27,295 --> 00:11:29,264 But you mind your own business. 252 00:11:32,388 --> 00:11:34,691 Do you know how I could find a doctor like that? 253 00:11:34,791 --> 00:11:36,052 Ask your mother. 254 00:11:36,152 --> 00:11:37,654 I live with my dad and brothers. 255 00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:40,722 Oh, boo hoo, I didn't ask for your life story. 256 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:44,862 You're mean. 257 00:11:44,962 --> 00:11:47,645 You have no idea. 258 00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:54,427 Why do you need to go to the doctor anyway? 259 00:11:54,452 --> 00:11:56,274 Mind your own business. 260 00:11:56,374 --> 00:11:58,236 Hm... 261 00:11:58,336 --> 00:12:00,119 Brava. 262 00:12:01,037 --> 00:12:03,322 But seriously, you can tell me. 263 00:12:03,497 --> 00:12:04,799 I got a working relationship 264 00:12:04,824 --> 00:12:06,405 with every doctor on Park Avenue. 265 00:12:06,505 --> 00:12:08,888 Come on, what's going on? What's the deal? 266 00:12:08,988 --> 00:12:10,810 Oh. Fine. 267 00:12:10,910 --> 00:12:13,854 You're gonna be like that? All right. 268 00:12:13,954 --> 00:12:16,035 If you're not gonna tell me what's wrong with you, 269 00:12:16,115 --> 00:12:17,297 then we are done. 270 00:12:17,397 --> 00:12:20,557 There is nothing left to say, period. 271 00:12:21,081 --> 00:12:22,743 Ah-ho. 272 00:12:38,470 --> 00:12:41,153 Okay, Jordan, listen... 273 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:45,598 This isn't "The Miracle Worker," okay? 274 00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:48,394 You need to make actual noises with your mouth. 275 00:12:48,682 --> 00:12:51,059 - I don't think I can do it. - What you're having right now 276 00:12:51,084 --> 00:12:53,947 is what we in the trade call performance anxiety, 277 00:12:54,047 --> 00:12:57,176 and what my friend Will calls date night. 278 00:12:59,453 --> 00:13:01,956 Nothing? No, nothing. 279 00:13:02,056 --> 00:13:03,474 This guy gets it. 280 00:13:04,699 --> 00:13:07,122 Mm, okay. Look, everybody gets scared, 281 00:13:07,222 --> 00:13:08,724 but you can't stop trying. 282 00:13:08,824 --> 00:13:11,967 When you're an actor, you gotta believe in yourself, 283 00:13:12,067 --> 00:13:13,651 even when you don't. 284 00:13:16,032 --> 00:13:17,453 ? Ben ? 285 00:13:17,553 --> 00:13:20,216 ? The two of us need look ? 286 00:13:20,241 --> 00:13:23,705 ? No more ? 287 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:26,663 ? We both found ? 288 00:13:26,763 --> 00:13:31,469 ? What we were looking for ? 289 00:13:31,569 --> 00:13:33,871 ? With a friend ? 290 00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:36,559 ? To call my own ? 291 00:13:36,734 --> 00:13:40,038 ? I'll never be alone ? 292 00:13:40,138 --> 00:13:43,682 ? And you my friend will see ? 293 00:13:43,782 --> 00:13:49,168 ? You've got a friend in me ? 294 00:13:49,268 --> 00:13:52,852 I just got the chills. 295 00:13:52,952 --> 00:13:56,456 I am an incredible teacher. 296 00:13:59,359 --> 00:14:01,662 Okay, I found the perfect activity to distract us 297 00:14:01,762 --> 00:14:03,123 while we wait for the test results. 298 00:14:03,203 --> 00:14:05,026 We are going to build a gingerbread house. 299 00:14:05,126 --> 00:14:07,348 Don't know why. Just called to me. 300 00:14:07,448 --> 00:14:10,003 What are... what are you eating? What... what are you eating? 301 00:14:10,028 --> 00:14:11,598 Strawberry ice cream, 302 00:14:11,773 --> 00:14:13,715 but I'm using chicken satay as the spoon. 303 00:14:17,659 --> 00:14:19,882 It must be bad news, Grace. 304 00:14:19,982 --> 00:14:22,004 We're gonna get through this together. 305 00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:23,831 I'll shave my head. Do you need me to shave my head? 306 00:14:23,856 --> 00:14:25,959 No, no, the test was negative. I don't have cancer. 307 00:14:26,189 --> 00:14:29,613 Oh, thank, God, I have a weird skull. 308 00:14:29,713 --> 00:14:31,535 Hey, but this is great news! 309 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:33,822 Come on... ... this is great. 310 00:14:33,997 --> 00:14:35,699 Whoo! 311 00:14:35,799 --> 00:14:38,582 Why am I whooing alone? 312 00:14:38,682 --> 00:14:40,024 Is Leo right? 313 00:14:40,124 --> 00:14:41,726 Did our relationship ruin my marriage? 314 00:14:41,806 --> 00:14:42,834 Yeah, you got a little strawberry... 315 00:14:42,859 --> 00:14:44,969 Was I supposed to go to him instead of you? 316 00:14:44,994 --> 00:14:46,952 - Just... just... stop, stop. - Are we weirdly close? 317 00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:48,871 Stop, stop... stop talking for a second. 318 00:14:49,695 --> 00:14:50,999 There. 319 00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:58,084 I believe you were asking if we are weirdly close. 320 00:14:58,109 --> 00:14:59,651 - Yeah, are we? - Yes! 321 00:14:59,676 --> 00:15:01,117 But here, you know what this is like? 322 00:15:01,221 --> 00:15:02,267 Oh, is this gonna have 323 00:15:02,292 --> 00:15:03,647 something to do with Princess Di? 324 00:15:03,672 --> 00:15:05,777 I think we both know the answer to that. 325 00:15:06,153 --> 00:15:08,896 Remember how we both hated Camilla Parker Bowles? 326 00:15:08,996 --> 00:15:11,093 We were young. We rushed to judgment. 327 00:15:11,118 --> 00:15:13,175 Exactly. Everyone thought she was the villain, 328 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:15,303 because she broke up this storybook romance. 329 00:15:15,328 --> 00:15:18,031 - Well, do not forget the hats. - I wish I could. 330 00:15:18,206 --> 00:15:20,549 But all she really did was... was help Charles realize 331 00:15:20,574 --> 00:15:22,396 the storybook wasn't true. 332 00:15:22,571 --> 00:15:25,194 Wait, who's Princess Diana in this situation? Leo? 333 00:15:25,219 --> 00:15:27,920 Sadly, yes. 334 00:15:28,377 --> 00:15:29,662 And I'm Camilla. 335 00:15:30,539 --> 00:15:32,121 Here, sit down. 336 00:15:32,146 --> 00:15:33,539 The point is, 337 00:15:33,564 --> 00:15:35,855 no happy marriage ends in divorce. 338 00:15:36,105 --> 00:15:37,687 - Ah... - I mean, I was there. 339 00:15:37,712 --> 00:15:39,695 You tried everything you could. 340 00:15:39,870 --> 00:15:40,884 Months of therapy. 341 00:15:40,909 --> 00:15:43,494 Grace, you tried golf. 342 00:15:43,594 --> 00:15:45,456 "Is the ball in the hole?" "No." 343 00:15:45,556 --> 00:15:46,857 "How 'bout now?" "No." 344 00:15:46,957 --> 00:15:48,940 "Is it lunchtime?" "No." 345 00:15:49,515 --> 00:15:51,663 You only came to me 346 00:15:51,763 --> 00:15:53,345 when you already knew it was over, 347 00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:56,233 just like I came to you when things with Vince were over. 348 00:15:56,408 --> 00:15:57,690 You're right. 349 00:15:58,149 --> 00:15:59,992 So, you let Leo think what he wants. 350 00:16:00,092 --> 00:16:01,333 - You're right. - What matters is 351 00:16:01,413 --> 00:16:02,995 - you know the truth. - Exactly. 352 00:16:03,095 --> 00:16:04,361 You don't have to explain anything to him. 353 00:16:04,386 --> 00:16:05,601 Hell no. 354 00:16:05,626 --> 00:16:06,895 You're gonna go explain things to him, aren't you? 355 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:10,323 Uh, Princess Jambalaya's not getting the last word. 356 00:16:12,465 --> 00:16:13,647 All right, we good? 357 00:16:13,747 --> 00:16:15,209 - Everything go okay? - Yeah. 358 00:16:15,309 --> 00:16:16,688 You do everything I told you to do? 359 00:16:16,713 --> 00:16:18,961 - Yeah. - Good stuff. Have a nice life. 360 00:16:24,158 --> 00:16:25,680 Honey, you have somebody you can talk to 361 00:16:25,705 --> 00:16:27,247 about these things, right? 362 00:16:27,272 --> 00:16:29,180 Like a husband or a lover? 363 00:16:30,325 --> 00:16:32,347 What? No. 364 00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:36,582 Why does it always have to be me? 365 00:16:38,694 --> 00:16:40,024 Honey... 366 00:16:40,461 --> 00:16:42,764 I know what just happened was a big deal. 367 00:16:42,789 --> 00:16:45,052 It isn't fun, but this day never is. 368 00:16:45,302 --> 00:16:48,846 For me, it was the summer of fift... 369 00:16:48,946 --> 00:16:52,109 sixt... '79. 370 00:16:55,272 --> 00:16:58,416 I was sitting on my front porch, 371 00:16:58,516 --> 00:17:00,899 listening to my transist... my Walkma... 372 00:17:00,924 --> 00:17:03,687 my iPod shuffle... 373 00:17:05,571 --> 00:17:07,969 And then it happened. 374 00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:11,550 Well, I just wanted to run into my room and hide, 375 00:17:11,575 --> 00:17:13,798 but my mom's idiot boyfriend 376 00:17:13,973 --> 00:17:16,516 screamed to the whole neighborhood, "Hey! 377 00:17:16,616 --> 00:17:19,147 Lois's kid just became a woman." 378 00:17:20,055 --> 00:17:21,356 And then my mom celebrated 379 00:17:21,381 --> 00:17:23,123 by opening her bottle of good scotch 380 00:17:23,148 --> 00:17:24,990 and giving everybody in the neighborhood a drink, 381 00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:27,568 everyone except the anxious 12-year-old 382 00:17:27,593 --> 00:17:29,595 who needed it the most. 383 00:17:31,733 --> 00:17:34,356 Look, Tasha, the point is, 384 00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:37,799 I survived, and so will you. 385 00:17:39,001 --> 00:17:41,223 You're not really mean, are you? 386 00:17:41,323 --> 00:17:43,004 How dare you! 387 00:17:45,454 --> 00:17:47,216 Get over here! 388 00:17:51,574 --> 00:17:55,519 Mind your own business. 389 00:18:00,673 --> 00:18:01,955 What are you doing here, Grace? 390 00:18:02,035 --> 00:18:04,072 You and I did not get divorced 391 00:18:04,097 --> 00:18:08,016 because Will and I are too co-dependent 392 00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:09,466 or whatever. 393 00:18:09,491 --> 00:18:10,953 Oh, crap. 394 00:18:10,978 --> 00:18:13,701 I see you're still unaware of your wingspan. 395 00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:17,069 Well, at least you're not blaming me and Will. 396 00:18:17,169 --> 00:18:20,914 Well, technically, you came here to talk about Will, so... 397 00:18:20,939 --> 00:18:22,145 You know what, can I just please finish? 398 00:18:22,170 --> 00:18:24,067 I'd let you, but you're putting his gall bladder 399 00:18:24,092 --> 00:18:25,274 where his liver goes. 400 00:18:25,579 --> 00:18:28,342 One drink, and he will explode. 401 00:18:29,589 --> 00:18:31,251 Stop being charming. 402 00:18:31,585 --> 00:18:33,968 You are wrong about our marriage. 403 00:18:33,993 --> 00:18:36,557 It did not end because of Will and me. 404 00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:40,856 - You're absolutely right. - I am? 405 00:18:40,881 --> 00:18:43,780 I mean, I know I am, but... I am? 406 00:18:43,805 --> 00:18:45,631 Grace, it ended because of you. 407 00:18:45,881 --> 00:18:48,384 Me? Me? 408 00:18:48,484 --> 00:18:51,147 You were the one who joined Doctors Without Borders, 409 00:18:51,247 --> 00:18:54,390 met a blonde, and it became Doctors Without Pants! 410 00:18:54,490 --> 00:18:56,793 You see, you bring this up every time. 411 00:18:56,893 --> 00:18:58,275 Well, it was a big deal! 412 00:18:58,300 --> 00:18:59,902 Well, that was our first marriage, Grace. 413 00:18:59,927 --> 00:19:02,470 The second time, I was in it, okay? 414 00:19:02,495 --> 00:19:03,756 I tried. 415 00:19:03,873 --> 00:19:05,335 But... but you never let me back in. 416 00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:08,744 I couldn't complain, because I was the cheater. 417 00:19:08,769 --> 00:19:11,008 I... I didn't have a leg to stand on. 418 00:19:11,869 --> 00:19:13,192 You're right. 419 00:19:13,217 --> 00:19:14,679 I am? 420 00:19:15,393 --> 00:19:18,097 I-I mean, I-I know I am, but I am? 421 00:19:18,197 --> 00:19:20,643 I tried so hard, Leo, 422 00:19:21,466 --> 00:19:23,288 but I just couldn't forgive you. 423 00:19:23,375 --> 00:19:26,038 - I know you tried. - I did. 424 00:19:26,171 --> 00:19:28,294 I took up golf for you. 425 00:19:31,411 --> 00:19:33,020 I took up golf for you. 426 00:19:33,045 --> 00:19:34,680 I hate golf. 427 00:19:34,855 --> 00:19:36,677 "Can I get back on the cart now?" "No." 428 00:19:36,702 --> 00:19:39,665 "How 'bout now?" "No." "Are we the only Jews?" "Yes." 429 00:19:41,561 --> 00:19:43,223 Now I'm sad. 430 00:19:43,544 --> 00:19:45,727 We could've not played golf together. 431 00:19:45,827 --> 00:19:48,652 I guess we just got our signals crossed. 432 00:19:48,677 --> 00:19:50,548 Yes, we did. 433 00:19:53,729 --> 00:19:54,969 Okay... 434 00:19:56,118 --> 00:19:57,680 I guess, um, 435 00:19:58,461 --> 00:19:59,843 I'm gonna go. 436 00:20:00,123 --> 00:20:02,986 - 'Kay. - Oh, uh, one more thing, 437 00:20:03,011 --> 00:20:04,673 I... I don't have cancer. 438 00:20:04,698 --> 00:20:07,064 I know. I ta... I talked to Will. 439 00:20:08,479 --> 00:20:09,650 Hey, Grace... 440 00:20:10,594 --> 00:20:12,486 you took my heart. 441 00:20:13,357 --> 00:20:15,573 You took my heart too, Leo... 442 00:20:17,841 --> 00:20:19,583 But I believe 443 00:20:19,824 --> 00:20:22,246 that we both are gonna find love again, 444 00:20:23,148 --> 00:20:25,249 with the person we're supposed to be with. 445 00:20:25,831 --> 00:20:28,836 No, I mean, you took my heart... 446 00:20:30,276 --> 00:20:31,881 From the model. 447 00:20:32,571 --> 00:20:34,574 Yeah, you, uh... 448 00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:38,238 You put it in your purse. 449 00:20:42,569 --> 00:20:44,328 I mean, I-I'm sure it was an accident, 450 00:20:44,353 --> 00:20:47,021 but, you know, they... they kill you on the replacement parts. 451 00:20:47,981 --> 00:20:50,504 You so set me up. 452 00:20:59,668 --> 00:21:01,709 We always had that, didn't we? 453 00:21:01,734 --> 00:21:03,377 We certainly did. 454 00:21:03,402 --> 00:21:06,040 - And that ain't nothing. - Sure ain't. 455 00:21:09,312 --> 00:21:11,174 See you around, Adler. 456 00:21:11,199 --> 00:21:12,838 Bye, Leo. 457 00:21:19,876 --> 00:21:21,413 Last word.