1
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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -

2
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_

3
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Oh, hey. I didn't see you there.

4
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I'm Lex Luthor,

5
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:34,165
and I'm here to tell you

6
00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:36,068
a little bit about the Legion of Doom.

7
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The LOD is a supportive community

8
00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:40,020
of elite supervillains

9
00:00:40,021 --> 00:00:42,042
dedicated to making the
world a worse place.

10
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We've been behind some
of the most evil plots

11
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of the 21st century.

12
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Hey, Black Manta.

13
00:00:49,317 --> 00:00:50,574
What's that?

14
00:00:50,575 --> 00:00:52,752
They're waiting for the new
recruits right next door?

15
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Looks like you better get in there.

16
00:00:54,521 --> 00:00:58,058
And make sure you bad guys
bring a good attitude.

17
00:00:59,061 --> 00:01:00,393
Hey, that's you!

18
00:01:00,395 --> 00:01:02,460
What did you say to Black Manta

19
00:01:02,462 --> 00:01:03,729
to elicit such rage?

20
00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,663
Nothing racist.

21
00:01:05,665 --> 00:01:06,698
Guys, pull it together.

22
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:07,900
We are about to join...

23
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The Legion of Doom.

24
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Welcome home, Harley.

25
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And that's all the time we have.

26
00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:24,517
Oh, and my apologies to Bane

27
00:01:24,519 --> 00:01:25,918
who wanted to do some magic.

28
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It was going to be a spectacle.

29
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I'd like to say something.

30
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Oh, my God!

31
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When I heard we were
letting in Harley Quinn,

32
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I thought...

33
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No one deserves this opportunity

34
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more than she does.

35
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- Oh this guy.
- I'm sorry.

36
00:01:45,305 --> 00:01:47,806
But didn't he try to
kill you multiple times?

37
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:49,207
I know, I know.

38
00:01:49,209 --> 00:01:51,377
I tried to kill you multiple times,

39
00:01:51,379 --> 00:01:52,978
but frankly, Harley,

40
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now you're the one killing it.

41
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Wow...

42
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Oh, I've seen this before.

43
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It's just like the time my ex,
Sandra, called me up

44
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after I lost 20 pounds.

45
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Where were you when I
was still 2,750, Sandra?

46
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Where were you?

47
00:02:10,230 --> 00:02:11,731
I needed love then.

48
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Promise us you will not
make us the Jen Aniston

49
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to your Bradley Pitt's
feverish pursuit of co-star

50
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Ann-halina Yo-lee.

51
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Wow, that's a lot to unpack.

52
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:25,077
Guys, guys, come on! Give
me a little credit here.

53
00:02:25,079 --> 00:02:27,279
Joker saying a few nice things about me

54
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ain't gonna make me see
him any different, okay?

55
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Pick a card.

56
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When my mind's set, it is set.

57
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Hell, they blew out three
electric shock machines at Arkham

58
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trying to get through to me.

59
00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:38,190
I am done giving that
clown second chances.

60
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Is your card

61
00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:41,827
the three of hearts?

62
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,280
- No.
- Fuck!

63
00:02:52,674 --> 00:02:54,673
Okay, look. I know the
last time we talked,

64
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it was... Shitty.

65
00:02:56,566 --> 00:02:57,966
But, you know, I feel like maybe

66
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we have an opportunity
to start over here.

67
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- Hmm.
- Okay. We can build off "hmm".

68
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I also, obviously,
would like to apologize

69
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for saying you're jealous of me

70
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and that you got no friends and that...

71
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All right, thank you. I
remember what you said.

72
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I know you were just
trying to protect me, and...

73
00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:14,406
Listen, I am gonna do
the same for you, okay?

74
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Just 'cause I'm a card carryin' member

75
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of the Legion of Doom now...

76
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Fuck that place in the ass.

77
00:03:18,784 --> 00:03:20,469
Yes. For sure. Although, listen...

78
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I am working there

79
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and I hope it doesn't
affect our friendship.

80
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I would be dead without you.

81
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Like, a lot.

82
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I do not disagree with that.

83
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I mean, I'm glad you're not dead, but...

84
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I don't know, it just...

85
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It felt like you were
so ready to abandon me.

86
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I would never do that.

87
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I will always be there for ya.

88
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I will always smash things

89
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you might need smashed, Ive.

90
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Wait, I know that look.

91
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Is there something you need smashed?

92
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Come on, Ive, there's gotta
be something you need smashed.

93
00:03:45,752 --> 00:03:47,790
There is... There is something
actually, I've been working on.

94
00:03:47,792 --> 00:03:49,641
I knew it! You're
gonna do something evil.

95
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That is great!

96
00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:52,632
Yeah. You know, I mean,
if we're still categorizing

97
00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:54,933
fighting to protect the
environment as "evil",

98
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then sure.

99
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At our new state-of-the-art
manufacturing plant in Gotham,

100
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we're building the
machines to revolutionize

101
00:04:02,452 --> 00:04:04,342
the development of our beautiful city.

102
00:04:04,344 --> 00:04:06,945
Join us in paving the way together

103
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,547
- to a better Gotham.
- _

104
00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:09,965
I'm gonna destroy it.

105
00:04:09,967 --> 00:04:11,656
Ooh, you're still fired up, Ive.

106
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You are glowing.

107
00:04:12,915 --> 00:04:14,704
Count me in on destroying
this new factory.

108
00:04:14,706 --> 00:04:16,221
Really? Great.

109
00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:18,569
Okay. Let's meet up on Friday
night and go over a plan.

110
00:04:18,571 --> 00:04:19,895
Oh, no, no, no, no. I got this.

111
00:04:19,897 --> 00:04:21,360
The Legion gave me a corporate card

112
00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:22,846
and said I can expense any meal

113
00:04:22,848 --> 00:04:24,396
where I talk about doing something evil.

114
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Yeah, once again, it's
just... We're saving plants,

115
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we're not actually
doing something evil...

116
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You know what?

117
00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:32,495
Thanks, Harls.

118
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:37,276
We added a little something
we thought you might enjoy.

119
00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:39,344
Oh, it's beautiful!

120
00:04:39,346 --> 00:04:41,346
- What's the thread count?
- Oh, my God.

121
00:04:41,348 --> 00:04:44,750
It's under the sheet, you dry turd!

122
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Oh, my God!

123
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So thoughtful.

124
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You got mahogany, oak, pine...

125
00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:53,359
And... Just one chair.

126
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,401
Where are the rest
of us supposed to sit?

127
00:04:55,403 --> 00:04:57,363
Oh, we have special
offices for all of you.

128
00:04:57,365 --> 00:04:59,530
My assistant cultural attache,

129
00:04:59,531 --> 00:05:01,594
Esteban, will take you.

130
00:05:01,595 --> 00:05:04,269
Why, hello, Esteban!

131
00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:06,938
And from what exotic pueblito

132
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:09,774
on the Iberian Peninsula
might you derive?

133
00:05:09,776 --> 00:05:12,243
It's Steve, and I'm from Tulsa.

134
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:14,146
I don't know why Mr.
Luthor calls me that,

135
00:05:14,148 --> 00:05:15,414
but he always does.

136
00:05:15,416 --> 00:05:17,983
Follow me.

137
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:19,584
Okay. Come on.

138
00:05:19,586 --> 00:05:20,786
I know where I'm going.

139
00:05:20,788 --> 00:05:22,921
I remember where my old office is.

140
00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:24,056
Yeah, that's been filled.

141
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:25,325
We have something else for you.

142
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Why did you hit down on the elevator?

143
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,597
And here we are.

144
00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:33,672
No, no. No, no, I know this place.

145
00:05:33,674 --> 00:05:36,763
This is where they keep
the goons and the henchmen.

146
00:05:36,765 --> 00:05:37,889
Right. Like you.

147
00:05:37,891 --> 00:05:39,505
We're not goons.

148
00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:40,873
We're not henchmen.

149
00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:42,074
We have powers.

150
00:05:42,076 --> 00:05:43,974
That's right. I am an actor!

151
00:05:43,976 --> 00:05:45,577
You are not an actor.

152
00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:47,446
You are a huge pile of clay

153
00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:49,392
that can turn into anything you want.

154
00:05:49,394 --> 00:05:52,469
He is a giant half-shark man.

155
00:05:52,471 --> 00:05:54,554
And I am a telepath.

156
00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:57,438
We have actual powers!

157
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,336
Uh, calm down, Dr. Guy.

158
00:05:59,338 --> 00:06:01,769
This is where you're supposed
to be, and you're lucky.

159
00:06:01,771 --> 00:06:04,430
Touch whatever you want.
Everything's broken.

160
00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:06,578
Goons, you're with me.

161
00:06:06,580 --> 00:06:08,500
The hell we are!

162
00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:11,069
We work for Harley.

163
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:12,971
And now, for me, too.

164
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:16,442
I've signed you out for
a very important mission.

165
00:06:16,444 --> 00:06:19,043
I got a razzy zazzy for "Bang".

166
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,512
It's Bane!

167
00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:22,214
You know it's Bane.

168
00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:23,682
I'm here everyday, Todd.

169
00:06:23,684 --> 00:06:25,216
Goddamn millennials.

170
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,084
Whatever, Bang!

171
00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:31,223
So, we're blowing up Todd after dinner.

172
00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:33,324
Don't eat so much you get lethargic,

173
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:35,872
but eat enough that you don't get fainty

174
00:06:35,874 --> 00:06:38,262
'cause I do not bring snacks.

175
00:06:38,264 --> 00:06:42,305
The streets will run with razzy zazzy.

176
00:06:44,072 --> 00:06:46,238
And thanks to Black
Manta for the bagels.

177
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,673
There's only cinnamon raisins!

178
00:06:48,675 --> 00:06:50,442
You know I hate raisins!

179
00:06:50,444 --> 00:06:53,945
Oh! Wait. Here's an everything.

180
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:55,081
So, Harley,

181
00:06:55,083 --> 00:06:57,248
every week we meet to
pitch our evil ideas.

182
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,450
This is where we get approval

183
00:06:58,451 --> 00:06:59,702
for the use of Legion resources

184
00:06:59,704 --> 00:07:01,219
like goons and getaway cars.

185
00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:02,756
And s'plosions!

186
00:07:02,757 --> 00:07:05,340
I have no idea what the
fuck "s'plosions" are, Bane,

187
00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:07,673
but we do have explosives.

188
00:07:07,675 --> 00:07:10,215
So this is the place to get
creative feedback on ideas.

189
00:07:10,216 --> 00:07:11,216
Exactly.

190
00:07:11,217 --> 00:07:12,866
We modeled it after the
way they do things at Pixar.

191
00:07:12,867 --> 00:07:15,901
I wish they would make another Up movie.

192
00:07:15,903 --> 00:07:17,003
They can't.

193
00:07:17,004 --> 00:07:18,904
The story was over at
the end of the first.

194
00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:20,005
Unless,

195
00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:22,106
the kid is the old man in the sequel.

196
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:23,442
Oh, that's fun!

197
00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:24,744
That's a good one.

198
00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:26,181
Can we stop with the nonsense, please?

199
00:07:26,183 --> 00:07:27,880
- Who wants to start?
- Okay!

200
00:07:27,882 --> 00:07:30,449
So, I want to build a giant tower

201
00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:31,745
with my face on it.

202
00:07:31,747 --> 00:07:32,803
Loving this.

203
00:07:32,805 --> 00:07:35,717
My quote unquote "mouth" opens up...

204
00:07:35,719 --> 00:07:38,490
Boom! Reveals a giant TV.

205
00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:40,024
What's on it? Me!

206
00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:41,325
I open with a joke,

207
00:07:41,327 --> 00:07:43,394
threaten Gotham, you get the rest.

208
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:49,127
I need 800 million,
but I can do it for six.

209
00:07:49,129 --> 00:07:51,895
Six hundred million!
I mean, that's a bargain.

210
00:07:51,897 --> 00:07:54,305
I... I'm still trying to get a chair.

211
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:57,108
Shall we move to approve?

212
00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:01,113
- Harley?
- I don't get it.

213
00:08:01,115 --> 00:08:03,347
You don't... Get it?

214
00:08:03,349 --> 00:08:05,871
Well, for starters,
why do you need a tower?

215
00:08:05,873 --> 00:08:07,487
Right? If you want to get on TV,

216
00:08:07,488 --> 00:08:09,356
why don't you just take over
the airwaves like everybody else?

217
00:08:09,358 --> 00:08:12,016
Because everyone else
has already done it.

218
00:08:12,018 --> 00:08:14,306
- Fucking Bane's done it.
- Yeah, I done it.

219
00:08:14,308 --> 00:08:16,620
Okay, well then, why not just
take over an existing tower?

220
00:08:16,622 --> 00:08:17,930
Why are we building a new tower?

221
00:08:17,932 --> 00:08:20,900
Because a regular tower
doesn't have a fire pole

222
00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:23,669
that goes from top to
the bottom, that's why.

223
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,438
That's a bit garish, innit?
Why do you need that?

224
00:08:25,439 --> 00:08:26,837
Because I'm the Joker!

225
00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:28,174
Hmm.

226
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,547
Feels a little like you
came up with the frosting...

227
00:08:30,549 --> 00:08:32,677
- Before you baked the cake.
- Exactly.

228
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:33,712
Thank you, Harley.

229
00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:35,282
You haven't baked the cake.

230
00:08:35,283 --> 00:08:37,523
Why don't you come back to
us after you bake the cake,

231
00:08:37,525 --> 00:08:38,579
huh, Joker?

232
00:08:38,581 --> 00:08:39,752
Fine.

233
00:08:39,754 --> 00:08:42,754
I'll bake the fucking cake.

234
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:44,589
You know, it's not... It's refreshing.

235
00:08:44,591 --> 00:08:45,825
I am glad that

236
00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:48,225
someone finally stood up to that clown.

237
00:08:48,227 --> 00:08:50,352
Oh! Hey, Joker.

238
00:08:50,354 --> 00:08:53,198
I was just telling
Harley how uncool she was.

239
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,835
Being in the meeting earlier

240
00:08:54,836 --> 00:08:56,237
and having the gall...

241
00:09:00,841 --> 00:09:03,347
It's leaking everywhere.

242
00:09:03,349 --> 00:09:05,740
About that meeting, I wanted to say...

243
00:09:05,742 --> 00:09:08,156
- Look, if you came here to yell at me then...
- Thank you!

244
00:09:08,158 --> 00:09:10,089
- Uh, what?
- That plan needed work.

245
00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:11,717
I'm going to put the time in,

246
00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:13,919
and really make it something special.

247
00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:16,454
But I'm happy I finally
have someone here

248
00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:18,024
with the guts to stand up to me.

249
00:09:18,025 --> 00:09:20,563
Maybe we could grab a drink
so I could pick your brain

250
00:09:20,565 --> 00:09:23,427
with this whole giant-tower-
with-my-face-on-it thing.

251
00:09:23,429 --> 00:09:24,806
Yeah, I don't think so.

252
00:09:24,808 --> 00:09:26,266
A work drink.

253
00:09:26,267 --> 00:09:28,759
I could give you the lowdown
on how to game the system here.

254
00:09:28,761 --> 00:09:30,697
Really? And not have
sex with each other?

255
00:09:30,699 --> 00:09:32,805
Harley, please! I'm blushing.

256
00:09:32,807 --> 00:09:34,373
We're colleagues now.

257
00:09:34,375 --> 00:09:37,542
You don't see me having
sex with Scarecrow or Bane.

258
00:09:37,544 --> 00:09:39,411
The answer's, no, I don't...

259
00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:41,180
Do that with them.

260
00:09:41,182 --> 00:09:45,182
Just a work drink. Think about it.

261
00:09:49,789 --> 00:09:51,789
Harley, we have a problem.

262
00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:54,302
They put us in the goon poo-el.

263
00:09:54,304 --> 00:09:55,930
- Ooh, that sounds fun.
- Fun?

264
00:09:55,932 --> 00:09:58,224
It's not the fun kind of pool.

265
00:09:58,226 --> 00:10:00,800
They're treating us like
we're common henchmen

266
00:10:00,802 --> 00:10:03,701
and we have to work for anyone who asks.

267
00:10:03,703 --> 00:10:05,704
- Including Bane.
- Bane!

268
00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:06,939
What?

269
00:10:06,941 --> 00:10:09,868
Bane? Ugh! We only work together.

270
00:10:09,870 --> 00:10:12,226
Well, they're saying
something entirely different.

271
00:10:12,228 --> 00:10:14,629
Don't worry. You won't be
working for Bane, I promise.

272
00:10:14,631 --> 00:10:17,231
Ugh, I just gotta figure out
how to game the system here.

273
00:10:17,233 --> 00:10:20,018
And how, pray tell, will you do that?

274
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:23,722
I'll pray tell a colleague about it.

275
00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:24,924
So...

276
00:10:24,926 --> 00:10:27,182
I've been paying this smoothie kid

277
00:10:27,184 --> 00:10:29,261
to keep writing "Bang"
on all his orders.

278
00:10:29,263 --> 00:10:30,529
Oh, my God,

279
00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:32,392
that's the guy Bane wants to blow up.

280
00:10:32,394 --> 00:10:34,634
Oh! That's fantastic.

281
00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:37,536
You know, everyone
remembers me for the big crimes,

282
00:10:37,538 --> 00:10:38,903
the murders, the cripplings,

283
00:10:38,905 --> 00:10:41,441
but it's the little ones
that keep me going.

284
00:10:41,442 --> 00:10:42,808
That's hilarious.

285
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:45,242
If it was hilarious, you'd be laughing.

286
00:10:45,244 --> 00:10:47,426
You can't just say
something's hilarious.

287
00:10:47,428 --> 00:10:48,948
That's the worst kind of audience.

288
00:10:48,950 --> 00:10:50,971
Sorry, I got a lot on my mind.

289
00:10:50,973 --> 00:10:52,497
You know, Bane wants to use my crew

290
00:10:52,499 --> 00:10:54,499
to blow up that smoothie
kid, and they're pissed.

291
00:10:54,501 --> 00:10:55,974
Who do I talk to to
get them out of that?

292
00:10:55,976 --> 00:10:57,890
Um, me.

293
00:10:57,892 --> 00:10:59,324
I'll talk to Lex.

294
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:01,794
He wants to keep you
happy. You're an asset.

295
00:11:01,796 --> 00:11:04,608
- Really? He thinks that?
- Everyone thinks that.

296
00:11:04,610 --> 00:11:06,799
You're a big deal. You're Harley Quinn!

297
00:11:06,801 --> 00:11:08,099
Wow, I...

298
00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:10,636
Wow! Holy shit!

299
00:11:10,638 --> 00:11:11,687
Thanks.

300
00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:18,244
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

301
00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:20,478
So your ass is gonna take
down that place by yourself?

302
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:21,747
There's not a plant around it.

303
00:11:21,749 --> 00:11:24,148
First of all, I am a capable metahuman

304
00:11:24,150 --> 00:11:25,651
who doesn't always need the plants.

305
00:11:25,653 --> 00:11:27,584
And also, Harley's gonna show up

306
00:11:27,586 --> 00:11:29,179
and, like, smash some
people with her bat, too.

307
00:11:29,181 --> 00:11:31,556
Harley? I don't see Harley around here.

308
00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:32,892
You know who I see?

309
00:11:32,894 --> 00:11:34,906
Frank. I'm ready to fuck some shit up.

310
00:11:34,908 --> 00:11:36,678
You're in a pot, Frank.
I'd have to carry you.

311
00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:39,363
So what? I carry you emotionally.

312
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:40,901
We all carry shit.

313
00:11:40,902 --> 00:11:43,051
You bring me in there and
I'll show you some damage.

314
00:11:43,053 --> 00:11:45,855
How, Frank? What am I gonna,
like, throw you at people

315
00:11:45,857 --> 00:11:47,073
and you're gonna eat them?

316
00:11:47,075 --> 00:11:49,208
Boom! Look at that.
We just figured it out.

317
00:11:49,210 --> 00:11:51,786
Thanks, but I think Harley and
I can take care of this.

318
00:11:51,788 --> 00:11:53,737
Like the way you took
care of that outfit?

319
00:11:53,739 --> 00:11:55,444
Why? What's wrong with it?

320
00:11:55,446 --> 00:11:57,782
You see fabulous, I see fugly.

321
00:11:57,784 --> 00:12:00,318
You got to diversify
your color palette, woman!

322
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:01,521
Spice that shit up!

323
00:12:01,523 --> 00:12:03,228
Add a fun hat.

324
00:12:03,230 --> 00:12:05,677
Maybe a little blush
on your cheeks and shit.

325
00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:08,060
See? See, see, I don't just eat people.

326
00:12:08,062 --> 00:12:11,244
Hurtful words are another
weapon in my arsenal.

327
00:12:11,246 --> 00:12:14,649
And you just got a verbal ass whooping.

328
00:12:16,437 --> 00:12:17,703
So, how have you been?

329
00:12:17,705 --> 00:12:19,723
Oh, you know, same old, same old.

330
00:12:19,725 --> 00:12:21,973
Murdering, hijacking, WMDs, arson.

331
00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:24,609
Ooh, I've been rewatching
a lot of Scrubs.

332
00:12:24,611 --> 00:12:25,810
What happened to Zach Braff?

333
00:12:25,812 --> 00:12:27,080
Wait, wait. Didn't we kill him

334
00:12:27,081 --> 00:12:29,179
when we took that movie studio hostage?

335
00:12:29,181 --> 00:12:30,555
Remember, we were trying to force him

336
00:12:30,557 --> 00:12:32,483
to remake classic movies, but with cats?

337
00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:34,220
Ha! I'm telling you,

338
00:12:34,222 --> 00:12:38,056
"Cats-ablanca" would have blown the
original out of the water.

339
00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:40,425
Anyway, I think Zach Braff is alive.

340
00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:41,759
- Oh.
- Just not working.

341
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:44,195
- Ah!
- Oh, Harley...

342
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:46,688
We had some fun back
in the day, didn't we?

343
00:12:46,690 --> 00:12:48,467
Oh, we sure did.

344
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:51,305
- Mmm.
- _

345
00:12:51,306 --> 00:12:52,638
All right, you know, I
really better get going.

346
00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:53,873
Sorry to interrupt,

347
00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:55,741
but I, like, totally ship you guys.

348
00:12:55,743 --> 00:12:56,766
Seriously.

349
00:12:56,768 --> 00:12:58,710
You're, like, my favorite
evil couple in Gotham.

350
00:12:58,711 --> 00:12:59,711
These are on the house.

351
00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:01,147
Oh, thank you.

352
00:13:01,149 --> 00:13:06,149
Come on, you can stay
for five more minutes?

353
00:13:07,497 --> 00:13:09,720
_

354
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:12,056
There, she is, over there.

355
00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:13,492
The green one with the fun hat on.

356
00:13:13,494 --> 00:13:15,027
Uh, Frank, who is this person?

357
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:17,529
You said I couldn't do nothin'
'cause I was in this pot.

358
00:13:17,531 --> 00:13:19,263
- Meet Chaz.
- This is really getting heavy, man.

359
00:13:19,265 --> 00:13:20,466
He's my pot guy.

360
00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:22,430
Carries my pot around
wherever I need to go.

361
00:13:22,432 --> 00:13:23,964
He sells marijuana, Frank.

362
00:13:23,966 --> 00:13:25,905
- He misread his ad.
- That is also true.

363
00:13:25,907 --> 00:13:27,172
Yet, here we are.

364
00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:29,041
Okay. Well, I'm leaving.

365
00:13:29,043 --> 00:13:30,893
So why don't you have him
bring you back to the apartment.

366
00:13:30,895 --> 00:13:32,744
Wait, I thought you
were meeting Harley here.

367
00:13:32,746 --> 00:13:34,046
Oh, shit!

368
00:13:34,048 --> 00:13:35,857
She stood your ass up.

369
00:13:35,859 --> 00:13:37,407
No, no, no. She just had to reschedule.

370
00:13:37,409 --> 00:13:39,149
You know, she ended her text in "ugh".

371
00:13:39,151 --> 00:13:40,219
So I know that she just, you know,

372
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:41,561
she didn't wanna
reschedule but she had to.

373
00:13:41,563 --> 00:13:42,622
You know, things come up. It's fine.

374
00:13:42,623 --> 00:13:43,855
Nah, she's changed.

375
00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:45,123
Thinks she's a bigshot now.

376
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:46,791
Hell, I know this pear tree,

377
00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:48,327
survived 9/11,

378
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:50,501
now he's planted front and
center at the Freedom Tower

379
00:13:50,503 --> 00:13:52,640
and that motherfucker
won't even call me back.

380
00:13:52,642 --> 00:13:55,436
Harley is nothing like
your 9/11 pear tree friend.

381
00:13:55,437 --> 00:13:57,628
And, by the way, I know that tree, okay?

382
00:13:57,630 --> 00:13:59,721
He was a dick before
9/11, he's a dick now.

383
00:13:59,723 --> 00:14:00,940
That asshole changed

384
00:14:00,942 --> 00:14:02,241
and so has Harley.

385
00:14:02,243 --> 00:14:06,445
Trust me, you're on your own.

386
00:14:06,447 --> 00:14:07,546
Oh, man!

387
00:14:07,548 --> 00:14:09,023
They only have potato chips

388
00:14:09,025 --> 00:14:10,648
with the weird Korean flavor.

389
00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:13,180
"Cheddar and octopus ranch"?

390
00:14:13,182 --> 00:14:14,652
Could be delicious!

391
00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,055
I would give it a whirl.

392
00:14:16,057 --> 00:14:18,391
Put down those snacks, you dumb goons.

393
00:14:18,392 --> 00:14:19,460
It's time to go.

394
00:14:19,461 --> 00:14:21,960
We're not going anywhere with you,

395
00:14:21,962 --> 00:14:23,462
S&M Sally!

396
00:14:23,464 --> 00:14:24,762
Harley took care of it.

397
00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:26,647
I filed all the proper paperwork.

398
00:14:26,649 --> 00:14:30,902
I even got the green
light from HR, so...

399
00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:32,070
Your move.

400
00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:33,638
How disappointing!

401
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,174
Right? But don't worry.

402
00:14:35,176 --> 00:14:37,274
I'll call Harley and
we'll sort this out.

403
00:14:37,276 --> 00:14:38,463
I meant these chips.

404
00:14:38,465 --> 00:14:39,624
They're disappointing.

405
00:14:39,626 --> 00:14:42,480
I'm not tasting the... Oh, wait!

406
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:44,016
There's the octopus!

407
00:14:44,018 --> 00:14:46,685
- Damn! It went to voicemail.
- That's that then.

408
00:14:46,687 --> 00:14:48,219
Saddle up, muchachos.

409
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:51,890
We have a juicery to es'plode!

410
00:14:53,494 --> 00:14:57,429
_

411
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:00,432
I missed this.

412
00:15:00,434 --> 00:15:02,525
This isn't... Come on...

413
00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:04,706
Now, this is just an extension

414
00:15:04,708 --> 00:15:06,749
of the business
conversation from earlier.

415
00:15:06,751 --> 00:15:08,414
- Oh, for sure.
- Cool.

416
00:15:08,416 --> 00:15:10,675
- Cool.
- Cool. We're just cool.

417
00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:12,578
- Yeah.
- Monsters!

418
00:15:12,580 --> 00:15:15,980
She's eating the beef
tenderloin with a fish fork.

419
00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:20,609
Okay, I did miss this.

420
00:15:23,191 --> 00:15:25,358
Now, this is living.

421
00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:27,459
Yeah. Hey, you know, I had a thought

422
00:15:27,461 --> 00:15:30,153
about that tower with your face
on it you pitched at the meeting?

423
00:15:30,155 --> 00:15:31,650
Oh, my face tower?

424
00:15:31,652 --> 00:15:32,998
That... That would be the one.

425
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,066
I was thinking you could
build it underground

426
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:36,334
and when you wanna unveil it,

427
00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:37,835
it can shoot above the surface

428
00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:39,727
and scare the shit out of people.

429
00:15:39,729 --> 00:15:42,041
- Ooh, like a Jack in the box!
- Exactly!

430
00:15:42,043 --> 00:15:43,309
Love that.

431
00:15:43,311 --> 00:15:45,776
It's very on brand for me, I mean.

432
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,032
Wow, really?

433
00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:49,249
I don't think you've ever
taken one of my ideas before.

434
00:15:49,250 --> 00:15:51,983
The student becomes another master.

435
00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:53,352
Uh, I think the phrase is,

436
00:15:53,354 --> 00:15:55,186
"The student becomes the master".

437
00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:58,723
No, I believe it's, "The
student becomes a master

438
00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:00,753
equal to the original master,

439
00:16:00,755 --> 00:16:03,003
but not with more
mastery than that master".

440
00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:05,964
So you're not upset I
decided to go off on my own?

441
00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:08,622
If this is the Harley Quinn solo act,

442
00:16:08,624 --> 00:16:11,369
I just have one thing to say...

443
00:16:11,371 --> 00:16:12,905
I wish it'd had happened sooner.

444
00:16:12,907 --> 00:16:14,105
Bravo!

445
00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:18,307
Oh!

446
00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:23,348
Up to your old tricks again.

447
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:25,950
Well, you're gonna be
spending a lifetime together

448
00:16:25,952 --> 00:16:28,353
in Arkham.

449
00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:41,199
You know, I'd love to
take you, puddin'...

450
00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:44,137
You know, I'd love to take you, puddin',

451
00:16:44,138 --> 00:16:46,057
but I'd never deny you the pleasure

452
00:16:46,059 --> 00:16:48,040
of buying me time to escape.

453
00:16:49,344 --> 00:16:51,575
So get the hell on, you knucklehead!

454
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:52,911
Oh!

455
00:16:52,913 --> 00:16:53,978
What you grinning at?

456
00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:55,166
You comin' or what?

457
00:17:04,358 --> 00:17:06,592
Us, escaping together?

458
00:17:06,594 --> 00:17:09,061
I used to dream about this moment.

459
00:17:09,063 --> 00:17:10,363
Oh, Harley!

460
00:17:10,365 --> 00:17:12,215
I couldn't leave you on the boat.

461
00:17:12,217 --> 00:17:13,565
I need you.

462
00:17:13,567 --> 00:17:14,932
For this.

463
00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:17,184
Mmm.

464
00:17:19,973 --> 00:17:21,506
And this!

465
00:17:51,305 --> 00:17:55,305
Some things never change, Quinn.

466
00:18:01,749 --> 00:18:03,283
Has Harley called back yet?

467
00:18:03,284 --> 00:18:05,671
Yeah! And she said she fixed everything,

468
00:18:05,673 --> 00:18:06,951
and I just didn't tell you.

469
00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:08,087
Fantastic!

470
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:09,453
What's taking your shark friend

471
00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:10,675
so long to plant the bomb?

472
00:18:10,677 --> 00:18:11,691
Oh, I don't know.

473
00:18:11,693 --> 00:18:13,427
Maybe it's because he's a shark

474
00:18:13,428 --> 00:18:15,833
and not a demolitions expert.

475
00:18:15,834 --> 00:18:17,803
Todd must pay for what he's done.

476
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:21,833
Let's see whose name is Bang now, Todd.

477
00:18:24,739 --> 00:18:26,572
Ah! Good Lord!

478
00:18:28,008 --> 00:18:29,307
Oh!

479
00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:32,044
Hey, Shark guy, did we kill Todd?

480
00:18:32,046 --> 00:18:33,211
Todd...

481
00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:36,347
Doesn't work Wednesdays.

482
00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:38,583
Oh, he must have changed the schedule.

483
00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:41,872
Why, Lord?

484
00:18:41,873 --> 00:18:44,222
Why take him when you
could have me instead?

485
00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:47,393
I am a perfectly delicious substitute.

486
00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:49,297
What the hell are you talking about?

487
00:18:49,298 --> 00:18:50,298
He's still alive.

488
00:18:50,299 --> 00:18:51,943
Huh? Oh, I was rehearsing.

489
00:18:51,945 --> 00:18:54,374
I have an audition for
a margarine commercial.

490
00:18:54,375 --> 00:18:55,827
Well, it was very moving.

491
00:18:55,829 --> 00:18:58,504
Although, that could
be the morphine talking.

492
00:18:58,506 --> 00:19:00,073
I love everybody right now.

493
00:19:00,074 --> 00:19:02,104
I came as soon as I
heard. How's he doing?

494
00:19:02,106 --> 00:19:03,309
Oh, my God!

495
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,771
I think he's going into cardiac arrest.

496
00:19:04,773 --> 00:19:06,011
Someone? Nurse? Somebody!

497
00:19:06,013 --> 00:19:08,913
No, that's actually a pretty
standard shark heartbeat.

498
00:19:08,915 --> 00:19:10,363
- I'm fine.
- Oh, no shit?

499
00:19:10,365 --> 00:19:11,385
So where's Harley?

500
00:19:11,386 --> 00:19:13,143
She said she got help
up with some Legion shit,

501
00:19:13,145 --> 00:19:14,909
but I figured she'd come
running as soon as she heard.

502
00:19:14,911 --> 00:19:16,623
Patrick Swayze's ghost!

503
00:19:16,624 --> 00:19:18,223
It appears we've been deceived.

504
00:19:18,224 --> 00:19:19,598
Ooh!

505
00:19:19,599 --> 00:19:21,724
It looks like Jo-Quinn is back together.

506
00:19:21,726 --> 00:19:22,930
Less than an hour ago,

507
00:19:22,931 --> 00:19:25,379
former lovebirds Harley Quinn and Joker

508
00:19:25,380 --> 00:19:27,633
were spotted tonguing each other down.

509
00:19:31,305 --> 00:19:32,638
Hey, everyone!

510
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:34,472
Oh, I'm so sorry I
didn't get here sooner.

511
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:37,276
I got held up at a crazy
Legion board meeting and then...

512
00:19:42,185 --> 00:19:44,383
- Oh!
- It is one thing

513
00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:46,118
when I thought you
ditched me for the Legion,

514
00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:47,176
but him?

515
00:19:47,178 --> 00:19:48,941
I thought you were
better than that, man.

516
00:19:48,943 --> 00:19:50,788
No, I am. And I see that now.

517
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:51,958
Too late.

518
00:19:51,959 --> 00:19:53,359
You promised you'd extricate us

519
00:19:53,361 --> 00:19:54,758
from having to join Bane,

520
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:55,893
but you didn't,

521
00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:57,273
and now, look!

522
00:19:57,275 --> 00:19:59,197
Some of us got our fins blown off.

523
00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:00,256
I'll tell you one thing.

524
00:20:00,258 --> 00:20:03,396
A Japanese chef offered a
large sum of money for it

525
00:20:03,398 --> 00:20:06,217
and you weren't even there
to tell me to not consider it!

526
00:20:06,219 --> 00:20:09,326
Because you were canoodling
with the Joker instead.

527
00:20:09,328 --> 00:20:12,330
I know, but the whole
reason I even met with Joker

528
00:20:12,332 --> 00:20:14,464
was to figure out how to get
you guys out of doing that.

529
00:20:14,466 --> 00:20:15,480
- I mean...
- Oh, please.

530
00:20:15,482 --> 00:20:16,614
- Drivel!
- Ive, you, you...

531
00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:17,725
You got to understand.

532
00:20:17,727 --> 00:20:19,084
No! Not this time, Harley.

533
00:20:19,086 --> 00:20:21,029
I have done everything in my power

534
00:20:21,031 --> 00:20:22,555
to keep you away from that ass clown

535
00:20:22,557 --> 00:20:24,875
because I truly believe
that you deserve better.

536
00:20:24,877 --> 00:20:27,455
But you know what? I am
done believing in someone

537
00:20:27,457 --> 00:20:29,219
who just doesn't believe in herself.

538
00:20:29,221 --> 00:20:32,131
I'm... I'm sorry, Ive...

539
00:20:32,133 --> 00:20:33,931
I made a mistake.

540
00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:35,268
I know I did.

541
00:20:35,269 --> 00:20:36,637
It won't happen again.

542
00:20:36,639 --> 00:20:37,768
- Bullshit!
- Poppycock!

543
00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:39,046
It's true, Harley.

544
00:20:39,048 --> 00:20:41,172
You're like the fish that cried Orca.

545
00:20:41,174 --> 00:20:43,040
It's a story remarkably similar

546
00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:44,478
to that boy who cried Wolf,

547
00:20:44,479 --> 00:20:47,379
except that instead
of a boy, it's a fish,

548
00:20:47,381 --> 00:20:49,969
- and instead of a wolf...
- It's an orca.

549
00:20:49,971 --> 00:20:52,717
No! It's a wolf named Orca,

550
00:20:52,719 --> 00:20:53,785
but it can swim,

551
00:20:53,787 --> 00:20:55,188
which is terrifying.

552
00:20:55,189 --> 00:20:56,756
And also morphine induced,

553
00:20:56,758 --> 00:20:58,591
but the point he's trying to make is,

554
00:20:58,593 --> 00:21:01,192
we are out of the crew!

555
00:21:01,194 --> 00:21:02,327
Clayface!

556
00:21:02,329 --> 00:21:03,963
I'm sorry,

557
00:21:03,964 --> 00:21:06,065
but I have a regional
margarine commercial audition

558
00:21:06,066 --> 00:21:08,132
that starts in seven hours.

559
00:21:08,134 --> 00:21:10,954
- King?
- I have a catheter inside me,

560
00:21:10,956 --> 00:21:12,403
so I can't currently leave,

561
00:21:12,405 --> 00:21:15,474
but please note that as
soon as I'm able to urinate

562
00:21:15,476 --> 00:21:16,941
in a normal fashion,

563
00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:21,212
I am also out of the crew.

564
00:21:21,214 --> 00:21:22,614
Please, don't go.

565
00:21:22,616 --> 00:21:25,475
Sorry, I... I have my
own plan to focus on,

566
00:21:25,477 --> 00:21:27,471
but you probably don't
remember that anyway.

567
00:21:27,473 --> 00:21:30,282
No, I do and I still
wanna help you with it.

568
00:21:30,284 --> 00:21:32,423
I think I'd rather go solo on this one.

569
00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:34,192
I need people I can count on.

570
00:22:20,374 --> 00:22:21,407
Yeah, boss.

571
00:22:21,409 --> 00:22:23,342
We got her.

572
00:22:28,368 --> 00:22:31,368
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -

