1 00:00:01,156 --> 00:00:03,279 Previously on Young Sheldon... 2 00:00:03,281 --> 00:00:04,843 - Who are you? - I'm Paige. 3 00:00:04,845 --> 00:00:07,630 A unique child can require a lot of attention. 4 00:00:07,632 --> 00:00:08,780 Try all the attention. 5 00:00:08,782 --> 00:00:11,391 Barry and I haven't been in a good place in a long time. 6 00:00:11,393 --> 00:00:14,368 This is oddly reminiscent of a dinner with my family. 7 00:00:14,370 --> 00:00:17,464 Do you think Stone Age parents stayed together forever? 8 00:00:17,466 --> 00:00:19,399 They had to. There were no lawyers. 9 00:00:19,401 --> 00:00:21,391 Well, I think my parents are getting a divorce. 10 00:00:21,393 --> 00:00:23,403 - Why? - They fight all the time. 11 00:00:23,405 --> 00:00:25,772 - About what? - Mostly me. 12 00:00:25,774 --> 00:00:27,240 I guess I'm lucky. 13 00:00:27,242 --> 00:00:28,375 Why? 14 00:00:28,377 --> 00:00:31,212 I'm the glue that holds our family together. 15 00:00:35,717 --> 00:00:37,173 No more coffee? 16 00:00:37,175 --> 00:00:38,231 Last cup. 17 00:00:38,233 --> 00:00:40,019 Well, you mind making more? 18 00:00:40,021 --> 00:00:41,554 I just sat down. 19 00:00:41,556 --> 00:00:43,256 But you finished the pot. 20 00:00:43,258 --> 00:00:45,325 George, if I wanted to make a cup of coffee, 21 00:00:45,327 --> 00:00:46,894 I'd have stayed at my house. 22 00:00:48,096 --> 00:00:49,195 Mmm. 23 00:00:49,197 --> 00:00:51,164 One day I'm gonna put you in a home, 24 00:00:51,166 --> 00:00:52,966 and I'm gonna smile just like that. 25 00:00:52,968 --> 00:00:54,123 That's fine. 26 00:00:54,125 --> 00:00:56,293 By then I won't know who you are anyway. 27 00:00:57,506 --> 00:00:59,906 Guess who is getting a divorce. 28 00:00:59,908 --> 00:01:02,242 About time. Congrats. 29 00:01:02,244 --> 00:01:04,657 Linda and Barry Swanson. 30 00:01:04,659 --> 00:01:07,313 Who's that? A-And can you tell me how to make coffee? 31 00:01:07,315 --> 00:01:10,173 - They're Paige's parents. - Who? 32 00:01:10,175 --> 00:01:11,551 The little smart girl. 33 00:01:11,553 --> 00:01:15,121 Apparently she's taking the divorce really hard. 34 00:01:15,123 --> 00:01:17,377 I guess she's been having trouble in school. 35 00:01:17,379 --> 00:01:18,958 Aw, poor thing. 36 00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:21,327 Linda thinks Sheldon might be a good influence, 37 00:01:21,329 --> 00:01:23,730 you know, maybe rub off on her a little bit. 38 00:01:23,732 --> 00:01:27,233 What, she wants her kid to be more like Sheldon? 39 00:01:27,235 --> 00:01:29,702 I don't know what to say about that. 40 00:01:29,704 --> 00:01:32,138 So, good news. 41 00:01:32,140 --> 00:01:34,920 Paige is gonna spend the weekend with us. 42 00:01:34,922 --> 00:01:36,376 My history with Paige 43 00:01:36,378 --> 00:01:38,735 brought up complicated feelings. 44 00:01:38,737 --> 00:01:39,859 She challenged me. 45 00:01:39,861 --> 00:01:41,147 Do you know if you'll be doing 46 00:01:41,149 --> 00:01:42,615 a full-color octet calculation 47 00:01:42,617 --> 00:01:44,484 with matrix manipulations? 48 00:01:44,486 --> 00:01:46,194 I know you're in my spot. 49 00:01:46,196 --> 00:01:47,554 She disturbed me. 50 00:01:47,556 --> 00:01:49,622 Hi, Sheldon! 51 00:01:49,624 --> 00:01:51,191 She enraged me. 52 00:01:51,193 --> 00:01:52,193 Checkmate. 53 00:01:53,662 --> 00:01:54,861 Things were simpler 54 00:01:54,863 --> 00:01:56,463 for my simple-minded sister. 55 00:01:56,465 --> 00:01:57,465 Yay! 56 00:02:20,780 --> 00:02:22,946 Shelly, I got you something. 57 00:02:22,948 --> 00:02:26,250 The Professor Proton Science Kit! 58 00:02:26,252 --> 00:02:28,152 Wait a minute. 59 00:02:28,154 --> 00:02:30,053 Last time you gave me a present for no reason, 60 00:02:30,055 --> 00:02:31,889 I had to get a booster shot. 61 00:02:31,891 --> 00:02:33,223 Nothing like that. 62 00:02:33,225 --> 00:02:36,226 I was just thinking, it might be a fun thing for you 63 00:02:36,228 --> 00:02:37,461 to share with Paige. 64 00:02:37,463 --> 00:02:40,864 Sharing. Sometimes I feel like you don't know me. 65 00:02:40,866 --> 00:02:43,734 Paige is having a rough time at home right now, 66 00:02:43,736 --> 00:02:46,103 and I think she could really use a friend. 67 00:02:46,105 --> 00:02:47,812 A crocodile could really use a meal, 68 00:02:47,814 --> 00:02:50,007 but that doesn't mean I should leap into his mouth. 69 00:02:50,009 --> 00:02:54,011 Shelly, I am asking you to do this for me. 70 00:02:54,013 --> 00:02:55,746 This was the woman 71 00:02:55,748 --> 00:02:58,382 who cut the crusts off my sandwiches. 72 00:02:58,384 --> 00:03:01,386 She had me. Into the mouth I go. 73 00:03:02,788 --> 00:03:04,788 ? Unskinny bop ? 74 00:03:04,790 --> 00:03:08,036 ? Just blows me away, yeah... ? 75 00:03:08,038 --> 00:03:09,827 Why haven't you mowed the lawn? 76 00:03:09,829 --> 00:03:11,094 I been busy. 77 00:03:11,096 --> 00:03:13,297 Well, you're not busy now. 78 00:03:13,299 --> 00:03:14,398 I'm working out. 79 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:16,733 Got the word "work" right there in it. 80 00:03:18,804 --> 00:03:20,704 Get out there and mow. 81 00:03:20,706 --> 00:03:22,919 Why? I'm making good money. 82 00:03:22,921 --> 00:03:24,968 I don't need an allowance, so I don't need to do chores. 83 00:03:24,970 --> 00:03:26,247 It's not about that. 84 00:03:26,249 --> 00:03:28,712 You're part of this family, you still need to help out. 85 00:03:28,714 --> 00:03:30,180 So I'm just here to do your bidding? 86 00:03:30,182 --> 00:03:33,284 Well, and people say Sheldon's a genius. 87 00:03:37,823 --> 00:03:40,791 I just want to remind you both to please be sensitive 88 00:03:40,793 --> 00:03:43,694 about the situation with Paige's family. 89 00:03:43,696 --> 00:03:45,162 She's talking to you, dingus. 90 00:03:45,164 --> 00:03:46,586 Both of you. 91 00:03:47,666 --> 00:03:49,519 - Hi, come in. - Hello. 92 00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:51,168 Hi, Missy. Hi, Sheldon. 93 00:03:51,170 --> 00:03:53,504 What did you do to your hair? Is this because 94 00:03:53,506 --> 00:03:54,738 your parents got divorced? 95 00:03:54,740 --> 00:03:56,006 Dingus. 96 00:03:56,008 --> 00:03:57,441 Well, she just really wanted to, 97 00:03:57,443 --> 00:03:59,510 and I thought, you know, under the circumstances, 98 00:03:59,512 --> 00:04:01,912 - why not? - Well, I think it looks great. 99 00:04:01,914 --> 00:04:05,123 - So, can I have pink... ? - No. Why don't you kids go play? 100 00:04:05,125 --> 00:04:07,584 I'd rather have pink hair than together parents. 101 00:04:07,586 --> 00:04:09,053 I don't blame you. 102 00:04:12,858 --> 00:04:15,026 Well, it's about time. 103 00:04:18,297 --> 00:04:19,997 Hi, Mr. Cooper! 104 00:04:19,999 --> 00:04:23,433 Billy. What are you doing? 105 00:04:23,435 --> 00:04:24,968 I'm mowing the lawn. 106 00:04:24,970 --> 00:04:27,527 - What are you doing? - Did Georgie put you up to this? 107 00:04:27,529 --> 00:04:28,872 Yeah. He's paying me. 108 00:04:28,874 --> 00:04:30,569 That dummy. 109 00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:33,278 I'm raising the money to buy a Jet Ski. 110 00:04:35,247 --> 00:04:37,014 I mean, I'm thrilled that he's gone, 111 00:04:37,016 --> 00:04:38,882 but I do worry about how it's affecting Paige. 112 00:04:38,884 --> 00:04:40,317 Of course. 113 00:04:40,319 --> 00:04:42,679 You and George have such a beautiful family. 114 00:04:42,681 --> 00:04:45,483 I think it's good for her to be around that right now. 115 00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:48,992 Oh. Hey. 116 00:04:48,994 --> 00:04:51,795 Nice to see you. Sorry about the divorce. 117 00:04:51,797 --> 00:04:54,271 I got to go yell at my idiot son. 118 00:04:54,273 --> 00:04:55,774 Georgie! Where are you? 119 00:04:58,103 --> 00:04:59,836 You look great, by the way. 120 00:04:59,838 --> 00:05:02,339 Oh, thanks. I started smoking again. 121 00:05:05,244 --> 00:05:07,177 What the hell's wrong with you? 122 00:05:07,179 --> 00:05:08,991 You think it's okay for Billy Sparks 123 00:05:08,993 --> 00:05:10,066 to do your work? 124 00:05:10,068 --> 00:05:11,157 I paid him. 125 00:05:11,159 --> 00:05:13,584 I tried to give him two dollars, but he only wanted one. 126 00:05:13,586 --> 00:05:16,453 Damn it, Georgie, I'm trying to teach you responsibility. 127 00:05:16,455 --> 00:05:18,897 You can't just buy your way out of everything in life. 128 00:05:18,899 --> 00:05:19,951 You sure? 129 00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:22,225 'Cause I'll give you ten bucks to leave me alone right now. 130 00:05:22,227 --> 00:05:23,660 Go mow the lawn. 131 00:05:23,662 --> 00:05:25,295 I'm not gonna say it again. 132 00:05:25,297 --> 00:05:28,932 Fine. But I'm only doing this so you'll get off my back. 133 00:05:28,934 --> 00:05:31,269 Oh, you'll know when I'm on your back, little man. 134 00:05:32,805 --> 00:05:34,938 Now we can be hair twins. 135 00:05:34,940 --> 00:05:37,240 Paige, you're supposed to be doing science with me. 136 00:05:37,242 --> 00:05:38,809 That's boring. 137 00:05:38,811 --> 00:05:40,744 I want to do something dangerous. 138 00:05:40,746 --> 00:05:43,380 This is dangerous. We don't have an eye wash station. 139 00:05:43,382 --> 00:05:46,016 - Let's go to the mall. - Mom doesn't like the mall. 140 00:05:46,018 --> 00:05:48,600 She says the mannequins don't have enough clothes on, 141 00:05:48,602 --> 00:05:50,287 but I think it's 'cause we're poor. 142 00:05:50,289 --> 00:05:52,990 We are poor. I do our taxes. 143 00:05:52,992 --> 00:05:54,858 Don't worry. I'll ask her. 144 00:05:54,860 --> 00:05:56,560 Ever since my parents got divorced, 145 00:05:56,562 --> 00:05:57,995 people can't say no to me. 146 00:05:57,997 --> 00:06:00,063 My mom promised she would take me to the mall to get me 147 00:06:00,065 --> 00:06:02,165 a new backpack, but she was so busy 148 00:06:02,167 --> 00:06:03,800 cleaning my dad's stuff out of the garage 149 00:06:03,802 --> 00:06:05,736 - that I think she forgot. - Oh. 150 00:06:05,738 --> 00:06:09,072 Of course I can take you. Anything you need. 151 00:06:09,074 --> 00:06:11,175 Thank you, Mrs. Cooper. 152 00:06:14,780 --> 00:06:17,115 Will you marry me? 153 00:06:20,487 --> 00:06:22,587 Why are you taking a backpack to the mall? 154 00:06:22,589 --> 00:06:24,423 This is my mall safety kit. 155 00:06:25,959 --> 00:06:27,892 Earplugs to drown out crowd noise, 156 00:06:27,894 --> 00:06:30,504 Wet-Naps to wipe down escalator handrails, 157 00:06:30,506 --> 00:06:32,046 a compass, a map of the mall, 158 00:06:32,048 --> 00:06:33,826 and a whistle, in case I get lost 159 00:06:33,828 --> 00:06:36,495 or approached by a woman holding a perfume bottle. 160 00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:38,531 You want to stuff him in there, right? 161 00:06:38,533 --> 00:06:39,966 No. 162 00:06:42,537 --> 00:06:44,503 Okay, Paige, 163 00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:46,501 where should we go to get your backpack? 164 00:06:46,503 --> 00:06:47,560 The Hello Kitty store. 165 00:06:47,562 --> 00:06:49,976 I would help you find it, but this subpar mall map 166 00:06:49,978 --> 00:06:51,580 isn't even oriented north. 167 00:06:51,582 --> 00:06:52,770 Let's go. 168 00:06:52,772 --> 00:06:55,028 All right, have fun at the Hello Kitty store, 169 00:06:55,030 --> 00:06:57,419 and meet me at the fountain in half an hour. 170 00:06:57,421 --> 00:07:00,590 Just to be clear, there are no actual kitties, right? 171 00:07:01,558 --> 00:07:03,758 I can't imagine talking to my dad 172 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:05,227 the way this kid talks to me. 173 00:07:05,229 --> 00:07:08,130 I'd have had a belt on my backside so fast... 174 00:07:08,132 --> 00:07:10,398 My dad was a hugger. 175 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:12,868 I had to tell him three times to mow the lawn, 176 00:07:12,870 --> 00:07:14,269 and he still gave me attitude. 177 00:07:14,271 --> 00:07:17,339 He's going to school, holding down a job. 178 00:07:17,341 --> 00:07:20,543 If he was my kid, I'd be proud of him. 179 00:07:22,479 --> 00:07:24,613 I am proud of him. 180 00:07:24,615 --> 00:07:26,983 When he's not being a total pain in my ass. 181 00:07:28,285 --> 00:07:30,886 You ever tell him you're proud? 182 00:07:30,888 --> 00:07:32,287 He knows. 183 00:07:32,289 --> 00:07:35,056 I think it's important for children to hear it. 184 00:07:35,058 --> 00:07:37,192 You don't even have kids. 185 00:07:37,194 --> 00:07:39,361 I teach and coach teenage boys. 186 00:07:39,363 --> 00:07:42,465 I also put up with your childish nonsense. 187 00:07:44,334 --> 00:07:46,434 Georgie's just being so damn disrespectful, 188 00:07:46,436 --> 00:07:47,836 I don't want to reward that. 189 00:07:47,838 --> 00:07:49,137 All right. 190 00:07:49,139 --> 00:07:51,206 My father never said he was proud of me. 191 00:07:51,208 --> 00:07:52,707 I turned out just fine. 192 00:07:52,709 --> 00:07:57,479 George, I'm just trying to have a nice day, 193 00:07:57,481 --> 00:07:59,247 make some white folks uncomfortable. 194 00:07:59,249 --> 00:08:01,117 Can you please? 195 00:08:02,286 --> 00:08:06,121 ? Bela Lugosi's dead... ? 196 00:08:06,123 --> 00:08:08,623 This isn't the Hello Kitty store. 197 00:08:08,625 --> 00:08:11,092 No. It's Hot Topic. 198 00:08:11,094 --> 00:08:13,461 - What's the topic, devil worship? - Hey, 199 00:08:13,463 --> 00:08:15,197 did you know there's a bow tie section in the back? 200 00:08:15,199 --> 00:08:19,135 Why would they hide that in the back? 201 00:08:21,171 --> 00:08:23,638 - Ooh. - What's that? 202 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:25,307 Body glitter. 203 00:08:25,309 --> 00:08:27,699 That's so much better than regular glitter. 204 00:08:27,701 --> 00:08:28,777 Then buy it. 205 00:08:28,779 --> 00:08:30,679 I don't have any money. 206 00:08:30,681 --> 00:08:31,846 Then steal it. 207 00:08:31,848 --> 00:08:34,183 No, my mom would kill me. 208 00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:39,410 Fine. Your mom can't punish me. 209 00:08:39,412 --> 00:08:40,768 I didn't see any bow ties, 210 00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:42,324 just a shirt with a bad word on it. 211 00:08:42,326 --> 00:08:45,055 - What did you put in your pocket? - Nothing. 212 00:08:45,057 --> 00:08:47,028 Are you guys stealing? Because if you are, 213 00:08:47,030 --> 00:08:49,456 I am prepared to literally blow the whistle on you... 214 00:08:49,458 --> 00:08:50,557 Okay. 215 00:08:51,068 --> 00:08:52,400 Okay. 216 00:08:52,402 --> 00:08:55,070 Relax, we were just playing around. 217 00:08:55,072 --> 00:08:57,272 - Let's just get out of here. - Good. 218 00:08:57,274 --> 00:08:58,603 Everyone behind the counter 219 00:08:58,605 --> 00:08:59,943 has an earring where an earring 220 00:08:59,945 --> 00:09:01,276 does not belong. 221 00:09:01,278 --> 00:09:03,310 Hey, Vern, looks like you're turning 222 00:09:03,312 --> 00:09:05,603 into quite the little shopper. 223 00:09:05,605 --> 00:09:06,781 Hey. 224 00:09:06,783 --> 00:09:08,250 I've already mowed the lawn. 225 00:09:08,252 --> 00:09:10,252 I know. Thanks for doing that. 226 00:09:10,254 --> 00:09:12,621 So what do you want? 227 00:09:12,623 --> 00:09:15,624 Well, I was thinking you and I could go grab a burger. 228 00:09:15,626 --> 00:09:17,292 Why? 229 00:09:17,294 --> 00:09:19,261 'Cause I thought it'd be a nice thing to do. 230 00:09:19,263 --> 00:09:20,895 Which restaurant? 231 00:09:20,897 --> 00:09:22,631 Why does it matter? 232 00:09:22,633 --> 00:09:24,081 Well, McDonald's burgers are fried, 233 00:09:24,083 --> 00:09:25,567 and sometimes I like flame-broiled. 234 00:09:25,569 --> 00:09:28,169 Fine, we can go to Burger King. 235 00:09:28,171 --> 00:09:30,524 I don't like the fries at Burger King. 236 00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:32,941 Ooh, Arby's has those curly fries. 237 00:09:32,943 --> 00:09:35,043 Shoot, they don't have burgers. 238 00:09:35,045 --> 00:09:37,545 Then let's go to Whataburger. 239 00:09:37,547 --> 00:09:40,650 Okay, but I hope you're not this cranky the whole meal. 240 00:09:47,624 --> 00:09:48,990 So, 241 00:09:48,992 --> 00:09:51,526 we haven't really had a chance to talk much lately. 242 00:09:51,528 --> 00:09:53,094 Why is it so hot in here? 243 00:09:53,096 --> 00:09:54,963 AC's busted. 244 00:09:54,965 --> 00:09:56,464 Why don't you get it fixed? 245 00:09:56,466 --> 00:09:58,868 'Cause I got better things to spend my money on. 246 00:09:59,903 --> 00:10:01,236 Anyway, 247 00:10:01,238 --> 00:10:03,285 what I wanted to say is, 248 00:10:03,287 --> 00:10:07,208 even though I'm not loving your attitude lately, 249 00:10:07,210 --> 00:10:09,077 I think it's great you got this job 250 00:10:09,079 --> 00:10:11,414 and y-you're doing so well at it. 251 00:10:13,350 --> 00:10:14,949 I'm proud of you. 252 00:10:14,951 --> 00:10:16,618 All right. 253 00:10:16,620 --> 00:10:18,586 That's all you have to say? 254 00:10:18,588 --> 00:10:21,323 Well, maybe if I wasn't sweating my balls off, 255 00:10:21,325 --> 00:10:22,691 I could think of something else. 256 00:10:22,693 --> 00:10:25,293 Just stick your head out the window. 257 00:10:25,295 --> 00:10:27,396 If it's about money, I've got money. 258 00:10:28,799 --> 00:10:31,767 It can even be a loan if it makes you feel better. 259 00:10:33,203 --> 00:10:35,404 Don't you dare. 260 00:10:38,542 --> 00:10:41,242 You said you're proud of my job. I don't think you are. 261 00:10:41,244 --> 00:10:42,977 You know what? Forget lunch. 262 00:10:42,979 --> 00:10:44,245 Let's just go home. 263 00:10:44,247 --> 00:10:46,816 Smart. Save some money for your truck. 264 00:10:47,884 --> 00:10:49,217 That's it. 265 00:10:49,219 --> 00:10:51,387 You're walking. 266 00:10:59,262 --> 00:11:03,201 I had survived a perilous trip to the accessory store, 267 00:11:03,203 --> 00:11:07,603 but it turned out, the real accessory was me. 268 00:11:11,453 --> 00:11:13,262 I can't believe you stole. 269 00:11:13,264 --> 00:11:15,564 You walked out with it. You stole. 270 00:11:15,566 --> 00:11:16,732 Why would I steal glitter? 271 00:11:16,734 --> 00:11:19,001 I already have a sparkling personality. 272 00:11:19,003 --> 00:11:20,502 Tell it to the cops. 273 00:11:20,504 --> 00:11:21,670 Or your cellmate. 274 00:11:21,672 --> 00:11:25,007 You're so smart. Why are you acting like this? 275 00:11:25,009 --> 00:11:26,775 Maybe I don't want to be smart. 276 00:11:26,777 --> 00:11:29,411 I have to sit down. 277 00:11:29,413 --> 00:11:31,213 Being smart sucks. 278 00:11:31,215 --> 00:11:33,865 It's the reason we moved here from Arkansas, 279 00:11:33,867 --> 00:11:37,352 a-and my parents never yelled at each other before that. 280 00:11:37,354 --> 00:11:41,266 It's just better to be normal. 281 00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:45,137 It works for me. But I also have good cheekbones. 282 00:11:51,619 --> 00:11:52,885 You swim here? 283 00:11:52,887 --> 00:11:56,455 Dad kicked me out of his truck. I had to walk back. 284 00:11:56,457 --> 00:11:59,191 What dumb thing did you say or do? 285 00:11:59,193 --> 00:12:01,393 How do you know I'm the one who did something dumb? 286 00:12:01,395 --> 00:12:03,762 'Cause you kind of shine at it. 287 00:12:03,764 --> 00:12:06,665 All I did is offer to pay to fix his AC. 288 00:12:06,667 --> 00:12:09,034 And there it is. Dumb. 289 00:12:09,036 --> 00:12:10,135 What's wrong with that? 290 00:12:10,137 --> 00:12:11,403 Your dad is a grown man. 291 00:12:11,405 --> 00:12:13,906 He doesn't want his kid giving him money. 292 00:12:13,908 --> 00:12:16,198 So he's glad I'm making money, 293 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:18,544 but I'm not allowed to use that money to help him out? 294 00:12:18,546 --> 00:12:20,901 - I don't get it. - Well, someday, when you have 295 00:12:20,903 --> 00:12:24,249 a bunch of sweaty, mullet-headed kids running around, you will. 296 00:12:24,251 --> 00:12:26,218 Oh, I ain't never having kids. 297 00:12:26,220 --> 00:12:29,688 Well, that's the smartest thing I ever heard you say. 298 00:12:29,690 --> 00:12:31,691 Thank you. 299 00:12:39,633 --> 00:12:41,934 John Sturgis at your service. 300 00:12:41,936 --> 00:12:43,736 Dr. Sturgis, Sheldon Cooper. 301 00:12:43,738 --> 00:12:45,003 Hello, Sheldon. 302 00:12:45,005 --> 00:12:46,205 How are you doing? 303 00:12:46,207 --> 00:12:48,712 Confused, upset, annoyed, 304 00:12:48,714 --> 00:12:50,609 and potentially in trouble with the law. 305 00:12:50,611 --> 00:12:54,213 Well, in which order would you like to handle this? 306 00:12:54,215 --> 00:12:55,547 Let's start with confused, 307 00:12:55,549 --> 00:12:57,950 but if we hear sirens approaching, we'll jump ahead. 308 00:12:57,952 --> 00:13:00,085 Great. What's on your mind? 309 00:13:00,087 --> 00:13:02,454 Do you ever wish that you weren't smart? 310 00:13:02,456 --> 00:13:05,691 So I would be short, lonely and stupid? 311 00:13:05,693 --> 00:13:07,593 No, that seems worse. 312 00:13:07,595 --> 00:13:08,827 Why do you ask? 313 00:13:08,829 --> 00:13:10,496 Do you remember Paige? 314 00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:12,531 Of course, brilliant little girl. 315 00:13:12,533 --> 00:13:14,390 I know, but she says that she doesn't 316 00:13:14,392 --> 00:13:15,701 want to be smart anymore. 317 00:13:15,703 --> 00:13:20,205 Well, perhaps she's experiencing some sort of identity crisis. 318 00:13:20,207 --> 00:13:23,066 Is it possible her ex is dating someone 319 00:13:23,068 --> 00:13:26,912 who seems better for her in every imaginable way? 320 00:13:26,914 --> 00:13:28,847 I'm confused. 321 00:13:28,849 --> 00:13:30,415 So am I. 322 00:13:30,417 --> 00:13:33,519 How do I make her understand that being smart is the best? 323 00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:39,024 Might I suggest, instead of trying to fix her problem, 324 00:13:39,026 --> 00:13:40,959 you just listen? 325 00:13:40,961 --> 00:13:44,329 When I was in the psychiatric ward, I learned that people 326 00:13:44,331 --> 00:13:48,967 who are struggling emotionally often just need to be heard. 327 00:13:48,969 --> 00:13:50,769 Hmm. 328 00:13:50,771 --> 00:13:53,672 Sounds difficult, but I suppose I could try. 329 00:13:53,674 --> 00:13:56,736 Another thing I learned in the hospital is that some people 330 00:13:56,738 --> 00:14:00,026 believe there are weird mole men living in tunnels 331 00:14:00,028 --> 00:14:01,713 deep inside the earth. 332 00:14:01,715 --> 00:14:04,750 Well, this has been mostly helpful. 333 00:14:04,752 --> 00:14:06,719 And you're mostly welcome. 334 00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:14,108 You made it. 335 00:14:14,110 --> 00:14:16,111 Yeah, I made it. 336 00:14:22,536 --> 00:14:24,537 Sorry. 337 00:14:26,473 --> 00:14:28,474 No problem. 338 00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:36,181 Ow. 339 00:14:36,183 --> 00:14:39,918 Ow. Is there a way to do this so it doesn't hurt? 340 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:41,920 No. Beauty is pain. 341 00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:44,456 Boy George must really suffer. 342 00:14:44,458 --> 00:14:46,468 Missy, I need a moment with Paige. 343 00:14:46,470 --> 00:14:47,893 Make it quick. 344 00:14:47,895 --> 00:14:49,896 I'm only half-beautiful. 345 00:14:53,868 --> 00:14:54,900 Yeah? 346 00:14:54,902 --> 00:14:56,521 I'm listening. 347 00:14:56,523 --> 00:14:57,569 To what? 348 00:14:57,571 --> 00:14:58,737 To you. 349 00:14:58,739 --> 00:15:00,105 I'm not saying anything. 350 00:15:00,107 --> 00:15:02,227 Well, if you wanted to say anything, I'd be listening. 351 00:15:03,010 --> 00:15:04,376 But I don't want to say anything. 352 00:15:04,378 --> 00:15:06,879 And I don't want to be listening, but here we are. 353 00:15:06,881 --> 00:15:08,247 Are you feeling better yet? 354 00:15:08,249 --> 00:15:12,785 You're being weird, and not in the usual way. 355 00:15:15,122 --> 00:15:16,822 Guess that's my life now. 356 00:15:16,824 --> 00:15:18,424 What do you mean? 357 00:15:20,261 --> 00:15:22,861 Everyone is acting weird. 358 00:15:22,863 --> 00:15:28,066 My mom is going on dates and my dad is acting like a child. 359 00:15:28,068 --> 00:15:31,738 My sister's crying all the time. 360 00:15:32,773 --> 00:15:34,406 I just 361 00:15:34,408 --> 00:15:40,012 wish that everything could go back to the way it was. 362 00:15:40,014 --> 00:15:43,348 I don't think it will. 363 00:15:43,350 --> 00:15:46,118 It turned out I was really good at listening. 364 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:50,923 The trick is to sit there, and when you want to leave, don't. 365 00:15:50,925 --> 00:15:54,493 I have to live in two separate houses. 366 00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:59,331 And my grandma says the meanest things about my dad. 367 00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:02,081 I know that everyone is upset 368 00:16:02,083 --> 00:16:03,802 that I'm not doing well in school. 369 00:16:03,804 --> 00:16:07,840 It's just hard to care. 370 00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:13,078 Everything that used to seem important to me 371 00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:17,550 just... doesn't anymore. 372 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:24,590 So I guess, really, I just feel alone. 373 00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:30,696 That sounds hard. 374 00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:33,932 Yeah... it is. 375 00:16:33,934 --> 00:16:35,934 Dr. Sturgis was right. 376 00:16:35,936 --> 00:16:40,439 There was nothing I could do to fix this, or so I thought. 377 00:16:40,441 --> 00:16:42,775 Can I offer you a hot beverage? 378 00:16:43,811 --> 00:16:45,477 That would be nice. 379 00:16:45,479 --> 00:16:47,747 Be right back. 380 00:16:49,083 --> 00:16:51,149 The "Hot Beverage of Comfort" 381 00:16:51,151 --> 00:16:53,235 would become my go-to method 382 00:16:53,237 --> 00:16:55,454 of dealing with someone in emotional distress. 383 00:16:55,456 --> 00:16:57,356 And it always worked. 384 00:16:57,358 --> 00:16:59,864 Except when my wife was in labor, 385 00:16:59,866 --> 00:17:03,069 where it was suggested I throw it in my own face. 386 00:17:07,853 --> 00:17:10,382 - What you doing? - Paige is feeling sad, 387 00:17:10,384 --> 00:17:12,830 so I'm making her a hot beverage. 388 00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:15,033 Oh. You're a good kid. 389 00:17:17,598 --> 00:17:19,599 I'm proud of you. 390 00:17:20,801 --> 00:17:22,400 Thank you. 391 00:17:22,402 --> 00:17:23,902 Of all my accomplishments, 392 00:17:23,904 --> 00:17:26,843 I don't know why he singled this moment out, 393 00:17:26,845 --> 00:17:29,312 but I'm glad he did. 394 00:17:29,314 --> 00:17:30,417 Sup?