1 00:00:06,298 --> 00:00:08,716 I understand we all have busy lives. 2 00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:12,178 Sometimes you miss an episode for the little things in life, 3 00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,471 like a heart transplant 4 00:00:13,472 --> 00:00:15,798 or a multiple murder in the family, 5 00:00:15,799 --> 00:00:18,726 but there should be no damn reason on Earth 6 00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:20,811 that I have to tell you what you missed last week 7 00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:22,146 on "Shameless." 8 00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:23,232 Hmm. 9 00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:26,108 Do we really need a piece of paper 10 00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:27,860 from the state to say that I'm committed? 11 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:28,875 I'm committed. 12 00:00:28,876 --> 00:00:30,738 Maybe one day I will want to get married, 13 00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:33,074 but in the meantime, I love you. 14 00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:34,784 I'm not saying never. 15 00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:37,001 No, you're saying you don't love me enough now. 16 00:00:50,926 --> 00:00:52,802 Can I impose on you to do me a favor? 17 00:00:52,803 --> 00:00:54,845 - Of course. What? - Great. 18 00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:57,014 Um, can you pick Julia up after school? 19 00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:59,334 - Julia? - My kid. 20 00:00:59,335 --> 00:01:02,144 I decided you might just be interesting after all. 21 00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:07,483 Oh, I'm sorry. 22 00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:09,193 That was not cool. 23 00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:16,844 Let's just say you are overqualified for this group. 24 00:01:16,845 --> 00:01:19,370 I think I've got somewhere better suited for your talent. 25 00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:20,538 The academy, sir? 26 00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:22,575 How do you feel about trash? 27 00:01:22,576 --> 00:01:26,294 Now that you remember exactly how you destroyed Kyle's life, 28 00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:28,254 I can get on with making you pay for it. 29 00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:30,339 Filling me full of Oxy? 30 00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:33,384 Mm, I need you in an opioid coma, 31 00:01:33,385 --> 00:01:36,012 but not, you know, dead. 32 00:01:58,669 --> 00:02:03,380 Sync and corrections by btsix www.addic7ed.com 33 00:02:03,381 --> 00:02:06,751 ? Think of all the luck you got ? 34 00:02:06,752 --> 00:02:10,004 ? Know that it's not for naught ? 35 00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:12,089 ? You were beaming once before ? 36 00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:17,345 ? But it's not like that anymore ? 37 00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:20,806 ? What is this downside ? 38 00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:24,185 ? That you speak of? ? 39 00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:26,312 ? What is this feeling ? 40 00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:30,983 ? You're so sure of? ? 41 00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:40,159 ? Round up the friends you got ? 42 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,287 ? Know that they're not for naught ? 43 00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:47,541 ? You were willing once before ? 44 00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:51,921 ? But it's not like that anymore ? 45 00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:55,257 ? What is this downside ? 46 00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:58,803 ? That you speak of? ? 47 00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:00,638 ? What is this feeling ? 48 00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:04,518 ? You're so sure of? ? 49 00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:29,084 Sir, step out of the car. 50 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,611 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 51 00:03:44,612 --> 00:03:46,767 Hey. 52 00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:48,644 Tami. 53 00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:51,272 Tam. Tami, Tami, here, it's your phone. 54 00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:54,567 Hey. Hey. 55 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:55,860 Hey, handsome. 56 00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:57,528 Oh, good morning. 57 00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:59,697 Ah. 58 00:03:59,698 --> 00:04:00,990 What's the emergency? 59 00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,412 Salon run out of hair dye? 60 00:04:02,413 --> 00:04:06,162 No, it's my family group text. 61 00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:08,372 Dad wants us home for a family meeting. 62 00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:09,999 "Us," like you and your sisters? 63 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,918 "Us," like you, too. 64 00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:15,463 You're a baby daddy, so you're a Tamietti now. 65 00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:17,089 Oh. 66 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,050 You're going. 67 00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:23,180 Do-do-do-do-do-do. 68 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,641 Here you go. 69 00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:28,768 - An omelet with... - Oh. 70 00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,561 Asparagus, mushrooms, 71 00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:32,062 and cheese from a goat. 72 00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:34,398 Sounds weird, but it's actually pretty good. 73 00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:36,150 You're amazing. 74 00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:37,902 It's just an omelet. 75 00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:39,524 It's beautiful. 76 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,586 You're beautiful. 77 00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:45,075 I love having you around. 78 00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:46,953 I love being around. 79 00:04:47,611 --> 00:04:48,954 Gonna hop in the shower. 80 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,414 Sounds good, honey. 81 00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:56,045 Mmm. 82 00:04:58,737 --> 00:05:00,709 Uh, I'm gonna go call home real quick, 83 00:05:00,710 --> 00:05:01,842 just to check on Franny. 84 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:03,302 - Okay. - Be right back. 85 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,474 Okay. 86 00:05:21,804 --> 00:05:24,615 Jesus Christ. You're never gonna fix the fucking thing, Byron. 87 00:05:24,616 --> 00:05:27,618 No one that rides a Vespa can fix anything. 88 00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:30,454 Something happen to your little bike thingy? 89 00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:32,873 Yeah. It's a Vespa, and... 90 00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:34,625 it stopped working all of a sudden. 91 00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:35,668 Oh, weird. 92 00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:36,877 What the hell are you doing here? 93 00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:39,517 I came to drop off some of the stuff you left at my place. 94 00:05:40,011 --> 00:05:41,131 That it? 95 00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:43,176 And I was hoping that we could talk. 96 00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,135 In private. 97 00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:46,637 You know, anything you got to say to me, 98 00:05:46,638 --> 00:05:50,141 you can say in front of the... love of my life, Byron. 99 00:05:52,947 --> 00:05:53,947 Mickey. 100 00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:57,440 Okay. 101 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,819 - It was a mistake coming. - Yeah. 102 00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,363 Hey, Ian, 103 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,532 you want to come check out a show tomorrow? 104 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,825 Jesus Christ. 105 00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,958 Read the fucking room, Byron. 106 00:06:09,959 --> 00:06:12,162 - Show? - Yeah. 107 00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:14,665 It's the Imperial Mammoth. 108 00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:16,154 I don't know if you've heard about them. 109 00:06:16,155 --> 00:06:18,713 They're... they're, like, my favorite band right now. 110 00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:21,505 Wait. Wait, yeah, yeah. 111 00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:24,091 They're the, uh, the hipster shit 112 00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:26,468 with the suspenders and the... the harp 113 00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:27,970 and all that, huh? 114 00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:29,346 Yeah, you're going to that? 115 00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:31,557 I can get you on the list, too. 116 00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,726 I mean, I don't know if you need a plus-one or whatever... 117 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,436 Nah, no. He don't need a plus-one. 118 00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:38,230 Trust me, he's got a lot of, uh, what'd you say, 119 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,940 "personal work" you needed to do 120 00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:41,735 before you'd be ready to play the field? 121 00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,237 No. No. 122 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,557 Uh, actually, 123 00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:50,409 I just took a page out of your playbook 124 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,745 and attached myself to the first swinging dick I saw. 125 00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,955 We barely know each other, but, pfft... 126 00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:57,207 man, it has been a fairy tale so far. 127 00:06:57,208 --> 00:07:00,044 It's actually why I came here is, uh... 128 00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:01,462 Looks like we both moved on, 129 00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:04,006 so no reason for things to be awkward, right? 130 00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:06,425 Congrats. 131 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:10,378 Yeah, it all happened so fast, but when you know, you know. 132 00:07:10,379 --> 00:07:11,619 Right? 133 00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:20,898 Liam Gallagher. 134 00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:28,156 Sit down. 135 00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:36,205 We don't have current proof of residency on file for you. 136 00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:37,844 - So? - So... 137 00:07:37,845 --> 00:07:39,257 how are we supposed to know you ain't committing fraud 138 00:07:39,258 --> 00:07:40,459 so you can go to this school? 139 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,877 You think someone would commit fraud 140 00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,367 to attend this shithole? 141 00:07:43,368 --> 00:07:45,714 My job is tied to how much paperwork is completed 142 00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,257 and how many files are current, 143 00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:49,218 so if your dad, Francis Gallagher, 144 00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:51,595 could just bring us a copy of his valid state-issued ID. 145 00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:54,431 He doesn't have a valid state ID. 146 00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:57,553 Okay, then copies of two utility bills in his name. 147 00:07:57,554 --> 00:08:00,187 All right, then he's gonna have to come in and sign this form 148 00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:01,690 attesting to his residence. 149 00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:05,192 If we don't get this, I'll have to remove you from school 150 00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:07,361 while we investigate this as a fraud case. 151 00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:09,738 A vacation from this school? 152 00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:11,281 What's the downside? 153 00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:12,950 Any student removed from school 154 00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:15,286 triggers an automatic review by CPS. 155 00:08:15,989 --> 00:08:17,413 See the downside of a month or two 156 00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:18,497 in a state-run group home? 157 00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:36,014 - You Carl? - Yeah. 158 00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:39,435 Where are your gloves? Jesus, rookie. 159 00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:42,020 Think you can sling trash without protection? 160 00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:43,647 You'll tear your hands to shreds. 161 00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:45,938 Those are just loaners, though. I want 'em back. 162 00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:49,153 What are you doing on a garbage route, kid? 163 00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:51,155 How'd you get this job? 164 00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:53,198 - Someone recommended me. - Ah. 165 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,200 Friends in high places, huh? 166 00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:56,994 So where do we start? 167 00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,162 With breakfast. 168 00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,589 Okay, when you get home, 169 00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:10,257 here's what you're gonna want to do. 170 00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:11,925 You're gonna want to do the rice method. 171 00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:13,927 That's where you take your entire foot 172 00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:16,306 and submerge it into a bag of rice. 173 00:09:17,513 --> 00:09:19,474 That's not it. RICE is an acronym. 174 00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:23,313 No, it's not. 175 00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:26,148 What's an acronym? 176 00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:27,941 Rest, ice, compress, elevate. 177 00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:29,318 R-I-C-E. 178 00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:31,403 One of us is a trained medical professional, 179 00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:33,363 and one of us fucked her ankle up running through a park 180 00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:34,990 trying to catch a Pokémon with her phone. 181 00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:36,867 I know who I'd trust in this situation. 182 00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:41,205 That'll be $20 for the ankle and $20 for the abortion. 183 00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:43,749 Thank you. Here, let me help you out. 184 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,752 Thank you. Come again. 185 00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:49,880 - Kev. - Yeah? 186 00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:51,548 The girls made it to the next round 187 00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:54,218 of the Eldridge Academy application process. 188 00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:56,929 We're preapproved for a full financial aid package 189 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,723 if we get in, and they invited us to the charity auction. 190 00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:01,725 That's a good sign, right? 191 00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:03,894 Isn't it a little early to talk about kindergarten? 192 00:10:03,895 --> 00:10:04,911 Not at all. 193 00:10:04,912 --> 00:10:07,815 It's super competitive, and it's only a year away. 194 00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:09,900 Plus, I thought you wanted us to apply. 195 00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:13,512 I did, but that's because I thought we'd be rejected... 196 00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:15,420 so the school would be the asshole and not me. 197 00:10:15,421 --> 00:10:17,991 V, wh... our girls... 198 00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:19,910 What if they don't fit in at Eldridge? 199 00:10:19,911 --> 00:10:21,411 There's all those rich kids. 200 00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:22,621 It's diverse, 201 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,414 politically progressive, and safe. 202 00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:26,166 You want the girls going to Coolidge? 203 00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:27,693 A second-grader got caught 204 00:10:27,694 --> 00:10:28,836 going through the metal detector 205 00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:29,878 with a machete last week. 206 00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:31,171 A machete, Kev. 207 00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:33,632 Maybe he had dense foliage to clear after school. 208 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,551 We're getting the girls into Eldridge. 209 00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:37,261 Okay. How? 210 00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:39,721 By being active, reliable, and engaged. 211 00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:42,015 That means going to everything they invite us to, 212 00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:44,184 like this auction. 213 00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:46,395 What the hell are we gonna buy at an auction? 214 00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:47,896 We don't have to buy anything. 215 00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:49,523 We just need to show up. 216 00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:51,693 I'll RSVP. 217 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,197 That's not mine. 218 00:10:57,076 --> 00:10:58,410 Or that. 219 00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:02,620 Or that. 220 00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:06,957 That is definitely not mine. 221 00:11:06,958 --> 00:11:08,792 Oh, come on. 222 00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:11,461 Use your common sense, fellas. 223 00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:14,089 What could I even do with all those drugs? 224 00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:16,300 I admit I have a healthy appetite, 225 00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:18,218 but I'm only one man. 226 00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:19,678 My guess is you were gonna sell 'em. 227 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:20,888 Ask around. 228 00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:24,308 Everyone'll tell you, I'm a user, not a dealer. 229 00:11:24,309 --> 00:11:26,435 None of this is mine. 230 00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:28,187 It's a setup. 231 00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:30,189 It's not even my car. 232 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,273 You don't say. 233 00:11:31,274 --> 00:11:32,608 I-I do say. 234 00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:34,193 Already ran the plates, bub. 235 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,324 Car was reported stolen four days ago. 236 00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:47,542 Oh, you really did a number on me, Faye. 237 00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:56,673 You want to give us a hand here? 238 00:11:56,674 --> 00:11:57,884 Not really. 239 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,506 Breakfast is served. 240 00:12:00,507 --> 00:12:02,179 You guys eat out of the garbage? 241 00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:05,474 Hey, these bagels haven't been touched. 242 00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:07,517 End of the night, they just throw out 243 00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:09,312 whatever they didn't sell. 244 00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:12,689 Yeah, I don't know about that. 245 00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:14,067 Eat. 246 00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,903 We're the top garbage crew in the city, Carl. 247 00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:20,113 There's guys who worked sanitation ten years, 248 00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:21,865 die to get onto this route, 249 00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:23,742 and you just show up out of nowhere, 250 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,702 actin' like your shit don't stink, 251 00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:27,704 like you're too good to eat a Dumpster bagel. 252 00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:29,701 Strikes me as a little suspicious. 253 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:31,668 Eat. 254 00:12:35,543 --> 00:12:38,091 Except cinnamon raisin. Those go to the boss man. 255 00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:42,636 Jackpot. 256 00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:44,097 Low-fat garden veggie. 257 00:12:51,797 --> 00:12:55,357 Hey, man, so this, uh, Tamietti family meeting thing? 258 00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:58,026 - Yeah, we got that text, too. - Right. 259 00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:00,583 We don't actually have to... To go, do we? 260 00:13:00,584 --> 00:13:02,572 We absolutely have to go. 261 00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:04,533 You got a kid with a Tamietti. 262 00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:06,618 Comes with certain expectations. 263 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:09,579 I got a second one on the way, so I'm, like, doubly obligated. 264 00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:10,914 And the pain of sitting 265 00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:12,666 through a family meeting is nothing compared 266 00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:14,626 to the passive-aggressive ball-busting you're gonna get 267 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:15,919 if you don't go. 268 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,755 I missed a family meeting once, like, three years ago. 269 00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:20,924 They still call me "No Show Brad." 270 00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:23,051 So, uh... 271 00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:25,804 you know, what am I supposed to do during this meeting? 272 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,265 You know, do they expect me to weigh in on shit? 273 00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:29,933 No, not really. 274 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:32,185 No one expects you to offer up your own opinions. 275 00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:33,603 So, what, I just sit there? 276 00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:35,522 No, just support your lady. 277 00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:37,357 Nod a lot when Tami's talking 278 00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:39,151 and then repeat exactly what she says. 279 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,694 Works like a charm. 280 00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:41,945 So be a yes-man. 281 00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:44,156 - Absolutely. Yes away. - All right. 282 00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:47,216 It's the only way to survive a Tamietti relationship. 283 00:14:01,214 --> 00:14:02,466 Debbie! 284 00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:05,635 Hey. 285 00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:08,221 I have a quick question. 286 00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:09,848 Do you want a job? 287 00:14:10,443 --> 00:14:11,683 Here, with me? 288 00:14:12,497 --> 00:14:14,352 Personal home assistant. 289 00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:16,229 You know, cooking, running errands, 290 00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:18,315 maybe alphabetizing hair products. 291 00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:20,984 Anything that will keep you in my house all day. 292 00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:23,862 You don't think that'd be kind of weird, 293 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,369 me working for you? 294 00:14:25,370 --> 00:14:26,865 It doesn't have to be. 295 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,241 I'll pay you $30 an hour. 296 00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:30,207 And you can drive one of my cars. 297 00:14:30,208 --> 00:14:32,996 The Audi or the, uh, Range Rover. 298 00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:33,998 You pick. 299 00:14:35,423 --> 00:14:37,125 If you can't tell by now, 300 00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:38,336 I'm, uh... 301 00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:40,797 crazy about you. 302 00:14:42,757 --> 00:14:44,245 How about I think about it? 303 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:46,510 Yeah. No pressure. 304 00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:48,513 But say yes. 305 00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:50,972 - Bye. - Bye. 306 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,155 Shouldn't you be in school? 307 00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:09,845 Got more important stuff to do. Got to find Frank. 308 00:15:09,846 --> 00:15:11,034 Why? 309 00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:13,203 We couldn't find him for most of 2005. 310 00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:14,621 Then one day, there he was, 311 00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:16,540 passed out on the kitchen floor. 312 00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,375 He's like a cat. He'll be back. 313 00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:19,709 If I don't find him soon, 314 00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:21,446 they're gonna kick me out of school. 315 00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:24,131 What are you doing? 316 00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:26,891 Trying to find the right Grindr profile picture. 317 00:15:26,892 --> 00:15:28,885 None of the ones I put up got any hits. 318 00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:29,886 Grindr? 319 00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:31,347 Aren't you still in love with Mickey? 320 00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:34,641 Yeah, I am. 321 00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,601 But there was the whole half-proposal thing 322 00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:39,146 and the whole "him getting a new boyfriend" thing 323 00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:40,998 and the promise-ring thing, 324 00:15:40,999 --> 00:15:42,566 and I'm desperate. 325 00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:44,926 Now I stupidly told him that I have a date for tomorrow, 326 00:15:44,927 --> 00:15:46,283 and I actually have to find one. 327 00:15:46,284 --> 00:15:47,709 Sorry I asked. 328 00:15:47,710 --> 00:15:49,699 Let me see those pictures. 329 00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:56,788 These are putting me to sleep. 330 00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,582 No one wants to date their youth pastor 331 00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:00,667 from their grandma's church. 332 00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:02,627 - Jesus. - You considered spicing it up? 333 00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,880 Why not take your shirt off or something? 334 00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:06,756 I'm looking for a date, not a hookup. 335 00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:07,883 The way you're headed, 336 00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:09,369 you're not gonna get either one. 337 00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:11,220 Give me that. 338 00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:13,597 Maybe Frank's dead. 339 00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:16,058 Better go call the morgue. 340 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:24,441 I didn't see it coming. 341 00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:29,196 I was a fly caught in the web the entire time, 342 00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:31,056 and I didn't realize I was trapped 343 00:16:31,057 --> 00:16:33,909 until the spider was already eating me. 344 00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:36,786 You know you have the right to remain silent, right? 345 00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:39,372 Yeah, uh, I'm waiving all of that. 346 00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:41,583 Only a woman could've done this. 347 00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:45,295 Only a woman can lure you in, 348 00:16:45,296 --> 00:16:49,507 make you feel like the king of the castle, 349 00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:52,510 and stab you in the back all at the same time. 350 00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:57,140 Show me your hands, please. 351 00:16:57,141 --> 00:16:58,934 No. Uh, ears. 352 00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:01,269 You got to do my ears first, then my nose, then my mouth. 353 00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:04,439 Shit. Sorry. I'm... I'm kind of new at this. 354 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:05,649 Oh, that's all right, lad. 355 00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:07,150 I'll walk you through it. 356 00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:10,779 You... you want to hear the... The real head trip, though? 357 00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:13,823 I still kind of like her. 358 00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,992 Her quest for revenge, 359 00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:19,204 albeit bordering on psychopathy, 360 00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:20,622 is justified. 361 00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:25,335 How can you be angry at justifiable revenge? 362 00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:26,836 You can't. 363 00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:29,506 And her thoroughness 364 00:17:29,507 --> 00:17:32,342 and her ruthless efficiency... 365 00:17:32,343 --> 00:17:33,718 Ah. 366 00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:37,389 ...her attention to detail, 367 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,767 it's impressive, don't you think? 368 00:17:41,435 --> 00:17:43,184 What next? 369 00:17:43,185 --> 00:17:45,037 The scrotum. 370 00:17:45,038 --> 00:17:47,899 With the right testicular configuration, 371 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,819 you can hide all kinds of things under there. 372 00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:55,740 The gooch is mankind's marsupial pouch. 373 00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:57,284 You remember that. 374 00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:03,790 You know, if... if we'd met under different circumstances 375 00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:06,751 and I never got her soul mate locked up for life, 376 00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:08,378 things could've worked out for us. 377 00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:11,172 I think this is the part where you spread your cheeks 378 00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:12,424 and... cough? 379 00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,134 Exactly right. You see? 380 00:18:14,135 --> 00:18:16,886 You remember more than you give yourself credit for. 381 00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:31,193 Oh, she's good. 382 00:18:33,487 --> 00:18:34,571 Pay attention. 383 00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:36,740 That's overflowing. 384 00:18:36,741 --> 00:18:39,451 Yo! Car battery, paint thinner. 385 00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:42,579 Prohibited items and an overflowing can. 386 00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:43,705 Leave it. 387 00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:45,435 Wait. All of it? 388 00:18:45,436 --> 00:18:47,417 I mean, it's just a few things. We could pick through it. 389 00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:48,835 Not our job to sort, man. 390 00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:50,587 If we did it for 'em, how are these fucking people 391 00:18:50,588 --> 00:18:51,880 ever gonna learn? 392 00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:54,257 The only way to teach 'em... Tough love. 393 00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:55,467 Leave it. 394 00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,260 Got to bend with your knees, man. 395 00:18:57,261 --> 00:19:00,555 You only get 7,000 waist-bends in a lifetime. 396 00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:02,515 Then what happens? 397 00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:03,600 You die. 398 00:19:04,535 --> 00:19:06,061 Hey. 399 00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:08,396 My mom accidentally threw out a bunch of sneakers... 400 00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:10,148 Expensive ones I was gonna sell online. 401 00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:11,733 Sorry to hear that, kid. 402 00:19:11,734 --> 00:19:13,360 Can you help me get them out? 403 00:19:13,361 --> 00:19:14,611 Oh, no. 404 00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:15,779 Wh... why not? 405 00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:17,530 I'm just that house right down there. 406 00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:18,948 They're probably still near the top. 407 00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:20,241 Safety issue. 408 00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:21,618 Come on, bro. You're killing me. 409 00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:23,286 I'm gonna be out, like, 1,500 bucks. 410 00:19:23,287 --> 00:19:25,080 Call the sanitation department, 411 00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:28,917 tell 'em you lost something on truck 3871. 412 00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:30,795 They'll send someone to look for you. 413 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,756 Yo. 414 00:19:34,757 --> 00:19:36,758 This isn't truck 3871. 415 00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:38,510 How slow are you, Carl? 416 00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:40,845 Like, short-bus slow, or... 417 00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,415 I guess regular. 418 00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:44,850 Let's go fishing. 419 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:51,148 Chuck, step up. Step right up. 420 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,442 Here you go, my friend. 421 00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:56,986 - Enjoy. - Oh... 422 00:19:56,987 --> 00:19:58,948 More where that came from. 423 00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:06,991 Don't think Frank's dead. 424 00:20:06,992 --> 00:20:08,707 The morgue doesn't have any record of him. 425 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:09,958 Well, don't be so sure. 426 00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:11,543 Bodies can spend weeks in Lake Michigan 427 00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,586 before they finally wash up on shore. 428 00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:14,931 Maybe he's a floater. 429 00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:18,216 What's going on? 430 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,593 That shirtless picture's getting me tons of attention. 431 00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:21,845 You were right. 432 00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:23,179 Of course I was. 433 00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:26,141 So was I. None of these are for dates. 434 00:20:26,142 --> 00:20:27,564 Dick pic. 435 00:20:27,565 --> 00:20:28,935 Butthole pic. 436 00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:30,645 Offer to eat my ass. 437 00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:31,646 Dick pic. 438 00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:32,981 Orgy invite. 439 00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:33,983 Dick pic. 440 00:20:35,818 --> 00:20:37,485 Wait. No idea what that one is. 441 00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:38,778 Oh, wait. No, it's a dick. 442 00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:42,866 Hold on. 443 00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:44,066 This guy... 444 00:20:44,067 --> 00:20:45,076 Cole, 445 00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,870 says he's always looking for an excuse 446 00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:49,090 to put on his best outfit, and he loves live music. 447 00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:52,375 He's cute. He seems normal. 448 00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:53,626 Cool. 449 00:20:54,799 --> 00:20:56,212 Hi. 450 00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:59,215 Kevin Ball and Veronica Fisher. 451 00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:01,718 Uh, yep. You're all set. 452 00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:02,761 You're lot 14. 453 00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:05,305 - Excuse me? - Lot 14. The auction. 454 00:21:05,306 --> 00:21:06,681 Lot 14? 455 00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:09,058 That's when you'll get up onstage to be auctioned. 456 00:21:09,059 --> 00:21:10,643 - We're being auctioned? - Mm-hmm. 457 00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:14,439 V, V, we need to get out of here right now. 458 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:15,940 I've seen this in movies. 459 00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:17,567 Before you know it, we're gonna be in the woods, 460 00:21:17,568 --> 00:21:18,860 and we're gonna be chased down by rich dudes 461 00:21:18,861 --> 00:21:19,903 that hunt humans for sport. 462 00:21:19,904 --> 00:21:20,945 Look, sweetie, 463 00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:22,472 I shouldn't have to explain to you 464 00:21:22,473 --> 00:21:24,574 the problem of telling a woman who looks like me 465 00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:26,409 that she's up for auction. 466 00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:27,744 Oh... 467 00:21:28,913 --> 00:21:31,206 This is a date-night fund-raising auction. 468 00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:32,791 Applicant parents are auct... 469 00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:34,959 - Did you say "African"? - Uh, no. 470 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:38,880 No, um, applicant parents are auctioned off. 471 00:21:38,881 --> 00:21:40,924 Once the parents that buy you get to know you, 472 00:21:40,925 --> 00:21:43,343 they report back, let us know if you're a good fit 473 00:21:43,344 --> 00:21:45,220 for the Eldridge community. 474 00:21:45,221 --> 00:21:47,764 The email explained everything. 475 00:21:47,765 --> 00:21:51,518 When you RSVP'd, you agreed to participate. 476 00:21:51,519 --> 00:21:53,102 Right. Got it. 477 00:21:53,103 --> 00:21:54,854 Sorry for the confusion. 478 00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:00,068 Hi. 479 00:22:00,069 --> 00:22:03,154 We need to get out of here while we still have a chance. 480 00:22:06,116 --> 00:22:08,660 No Show Brad showed. 481 00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:09,786 Guys, it's a Christmas miracle. 482 00:22:09,787 --> 00:22:11,746 Thank you. Thank you. 483 00:22:11,747 --> 00:22:12,997 - Thank you. - All right, all right. 484 00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:14,332 Everybody quiet down. 485 00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,292 Let's get this meeting started. 486 00:22:16,293 --> 00:22:18,711 First, the bad news. 487 00:22:18,712 --> 00:22:21,390 Oopie and I discovered Nana 488 00:22:21,391 --> 00:22:23,299 wandering the streets of Milwaukee. 489 00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:26,135 She was barefoot, disoriented, 490 00:22:26,136 --> 00:22:27,846 and by the time we caught up with her, 491 00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:29,305 she kept calling me Bing, 492 00:22:29,306 --> 00:22:32,642 and she just wanted to sing Christmas carols with Oopie. 493 00:22:32,643 --> 00:22:34,561 We made the tough choice 494 00:22:34,562 --> 00:22:36,646 of putting her in a nursing home. 495 00:22:36,647 --> 00:22:39,148 I told you we should've put her in a home years ago. 496 00:22:39,149 --> 00:22:41,776 I mean, thank God we found her when we did. 497 00:22:41,777 --> 00:22:44,093 We really should've put her in that home five years ago. 498 00:22:44,094 --> 00:22:45,530 Now for the good news. 499 00:22:45,531 --> 00:22:48,157 Nana's house is empty, no mortgage. 500 00:22:48,158 --> 00:22:50,159 We could rent it out. 501 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:52,412 One of my clients did that when her grandpa passed, 502 00:22:52,413 --> 00:22:54,497 and it's, like, free money every month. 503 00:22:54,498 --> 00:22:55,697 Yeah, no. 504 00:22:55,698 --> 00:22:57,394 We... we could always... We could rent it out, you know? 505 00:22:57,395 --> 00:23:00,920 Um, Tami's client and the client's grandfather... 506 00:23:00,921 --> 00:23:02,630 That's, you know... You can make a lot of money. 507 00:23:02,631 --> 00:23:03,840 That way... free money. 508 00:23:03,841 --> 00:23:05,884 That's a possibility. 509 00:23:05,885 --> 00:23:09,804 Or we could walk a more Christian path. 510 00:23:09,805 --> 00:23:13,975 Maybe we should use this turn of events to demonstrate 511 00:23:13,976 --> 00:23:17,395 Jesus's love for us by helping family members 512 00:23:17,396 --> 00:23:20,690 who are living with difficult circumstances, 513 00:23:20,691 --> 00:23:25,153 like a new mom working herself to the bone to make ends meet 514 00:23:25,154 --> 00:23:28,156 or a new dad who has to cram his family 515 00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:31,826 into a tiny, decrepit RV in the backyard. 516 00:23:31,827 --> 00:23:33,620 That's one idea, 517 00:23:33,621 --> 00:23:36,414 an idea I am in favor of. 518 00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:39,292 So, if anyone has a problem with our suggestion, 519 00:23:39,293 --> 00:23:40,960 now's the time to speak up. 520 00:23:40,961 --> 00:23:45,214 If anyone has an issue with us doing what's right, 521 00:23:45,215 --> 00:23:48,676 walking the path our Lord and Savior has laid out for us, 522 00:23:48,677 --> 00:23:51,387 helping those less fortunate than us, 523 00:23:51,388 --> 00:23:53,113 speak now. 524 00:23:53,974 --> 00:23:55,288 W... 525 00:23:56,226 --> 00:23:57,540 So you're saying that... 526 00:23:57,541 --> 00:23:59,691 We're giving you Nana's house, sweetheart, 527 00:23:59,692 --> 00:24:01,732 while you get back on your feet. 528 00:24:06,612 --> 00:24:08,738 So you're doing the mom and the daughter? 529 00:24:08,739 --> 00:24:09,906 'Cause that's hot. 530 00:24:09,907 --> 00:24:11,282 No, it's not. 531 00:24:11,283 --> 00:24:14,686 - It's going south fast. - You're going south fast. 532 00:24:14,687 --> 00:24:17,580 No, I'm serious. It's stressing me out. 533 00:24:17,581 --> 00:24:19,540 I almost got busted this morning. 534 00:24:19,541 --> 00:24:21,918 I'm starting to feel really guilty about this whole thing. 535 00:24:21,919 --> 00:24:23,378 No way, girl! 536 00:24:23,379 --> 00:24:25,797 I hooked up with a father and son once... it was awesome. 537 00:24:25,798 --> 00:24:28,341 One of them is the baby daddy of my third daughter, 538 00:24:28,342 --> 00:24:30,866 and I have no clue which one. 539 00:24:30,867 --> 00:24:32,804 Why don't you just take a paternity test? 540 00:24:32,805 --> 00:24:34,531 I just never had to, 'cause, like, 541 00:24:34,532 --> 00:24:37,225 the dad was so afraid of the wife finding out 542 00:24:37,226 --> 00:24:39,060 that he just gave me more child support 543 00:24:39,061 --> 00:24:41,020 than the son ever could, so... 544 00:24:41,021 --> 00:24:43,565 So is that child support or hush money? 545 00:24:44,274 --> 00:24:46,985 I mean, what's the difference? 546 00:24:46,986 --> 00:24:48,444 Claudia, the mom, 547 00:24:48,445 --> 00:24:50,697 she wants to pay me 30 bucks an hour 548 00:24:50,698 --> 00:24:52,615 to basically just sit around the house all day 549 00:24:52,616 --> 00:24:54,242 and cook a little, clean, 550 00:24:54,243 --> 00:24:55,952 run some errands. 551 00:24:55,953 --> 00:24:58,913 Girl, I have done way worse for $30, okay? 552 00:24:58,914 --> 00:25:01,708 I have done... some foot stuff. 553 00:25:01,709 --> 00:25:03,877 Like, a lot of foot stuff. 554 00:25:05,254 --> 00:25:09,507 Yeah, so it's not really just about the money for me. 555 00:25:09,508 --> 00:25:11,509 The daughter, I don't know. 556 00:25:11,510 --> 00:25:14,637 She's really fun and creative and smart 557 00:25:14,638 --> 00:25:16,931 and surprisingly super bendy. 558 00:25:16,932 --> 00:25:18,433 I'm so confused. 559 00:25:18,434 --> 00:25:20,476 How is this even a conversation? 560 00:25:20,477 --> 00:25:23,063 You dump the kid, and you stick with the money. 561 00:25:26,734 --> 00:25:28,985 And after that, we'll go back to our house, 562 00:25:28,986 --> 00:25:30,403 grill up some steaks, 563 00:25:30,404 --> 00:25:32,605 watch an action movie of your choice 564 00:25:32,606 --> 00:25:35,700 on our state-of-the-art basement home theater. 565 00:25:35,701 --> 00:25:37,493 Steaks and action movies. 566 00:25:37,494 --> 00:25:38,828 Who doesn't love that? 567 00:25:38,829 --> 00:25:40,538 All right, let's start the bidding at $300. 568 00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:42,081 - Do we have $300? - $300. 569 00:25:42,082 --> 00:25:43,416 $300, all right. $400, $400? 570 00:25:43,417 --> 00:25:44,500 What about $500? 571 00:25:44,501 --> 00:25:46,419 - $500. - $500. $500... we've got $500. 572 00:25:46,420 --> 00:25:48,254 $550. $550 going once. 573 00:25:48,255 --> 00:25:50,298 $550 going twice. 574 00:25:50,299 --> 00:25:51,924 Sold, $550. 575 00:25:51,925 --> 00:25:56,179 All right, Please welcome the next couple up for auction, 576 00:25:56,180 --> 00:25:58,014 lot number 14, 577 00:25:58,015 --> 00:26:00,273 prospective parents from the South Side, 578 00:26:00,274 --> 00:26:03,895 Veronica Fisher and Kevin Ball. 579 00:26:03,896 --> 00:26:05,688 Hi. 580 00:26:05,689 --> 00:26:09,911 Hi, I'm Veronica. This is Kevin. 581 00:26:09,912 --> 00:26:13,696 We're the Balls, and, uh, we are small-business owners, 582 00:26:13,697 --> 00:26:15,948 and we can offer you guys 583 00:26:15,949 --> 00:26:20,496 a night of free drinking in our humble little bar. 584 00:26:22,539 --> 00:26:25,708 We also have a newly established medical practice, 585 00:26:25,709 --> 00:26:27,543 where we could offer you and your daughters 586 00:26:27,544 --> 00:26:28,879 unlimited abo... 587 00:26:31,715 --> 00:26:34,092 I also can provide you with a personalized workout. 588 00:26:34,093 --> 00:26:37,095 Uh, V and I are in pretty good shape, so... 589 00:26:39,973 --> 00:26:41,599 Take it off! 590 00:26:43,143 --> 00:26:44,644 All right, a day of drinking 591 00:26:44,645 --> 00:26:47,188 followed by a personal workout... 592 00:26:47,189 --> 00:26:48,898 Okay, Magic Mike. 593 00:26:48,899 --> 00:26:51,150 Let's start the bidding at $50. 594 00:26:51,151 --> 00:26:53,864 Do we have $50? All right, $100, $100. 595 00:26:53,865 --> 00:26:57,406 - Do we have... - $5,000. 596 00:26:59,159 --> 00:27:02,328 $5,000? Is that what... 597 00:27:04,081 --> 00:27:07,583 $5,000. 598 00:27:29,439 --> 00:27:31,315 Can we please move away from the truck? 599 00:27:31,316 --> 00:27:32,608 You get used to it. 600 00:27:32,609 --> 00:27:33,734 - Really? - This? 601 00:27:33,735 --> 00:27:35,403 This is about as good as it gets. 602 00:27:35,404 --> 00:27:37,154 It's not even hot out. 603 00:27:37,155 --> 00:27:39,244 You should smell this shit in July. Whoo! 604 00:27:39,245 --> 00:27:41,492 Remember that time we ate Indian food with the corpse in the truck? 605 00:27:41,493 --> 00:27:43,202 60% decomposed. 606 00:27:43,203 --> 00:27:45,079 When the compactor hit it... splat! 607 00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,373 - Like tomatoes. - Still finished our marsala. 608 00:27:49,209 --> 00:27:51,794 We're finishing up. 609 00:27:51,795 --> 00:27:54,463 Give us a second. We'll move. 610 00:27:56,216 --> 00:27:58,593 All right, all right. Hold your horses. 611 00:27:59,845 --> 00:28:01,804 Move it up, move it up. 612 00:28:03,724 --> 00:28:05,893 Got a man in a hurry. 613 00:28:13,317 --> 00:28:16,319 Come on back. Cut it hard. 614 00:28:34,171 --> 00:28:36,172 - That's awesome. - Oh! 615 00:28:38,550 --> 00:28:40,427 Fuck that guy. Whoo. 616 00:28:45,349 --> 00:28:47,017 You got five minutes. 617 00:28:50,279 --> 00:28:51,896 I told them we were married. 618 00:28:51,897 --> 00:28:54,106 Slipped 'em 50 to bring you to me. 619 00:28:54,107 --> 00:28:56,025 Well, you wasted your money, 620 00:28:56,026 --> 00:28:57,860 'cause I'm not talking to you. 621 00:28:57,861 --> 00:28:59,819 This is how it had to be, Frank. 622 00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:03,666 I need you to understand 623 00:29:03,667 --> 00:29:06,786 exactly what's gonna happen and why. 624 00:29:06,787 --> 00:29:08,955 They found enough prescription pills on you 625 00:29:08,956 --> 00:29:10,540 to put you away for 30 years. 626 00:29:11,583 --> 00:29:13,626 I expect you'll spend the rest of your life 627 00:29:13,627 --> 00:29:16,045 in a maximum-security prison, 628 00:29:16,046 --> 00:29:18,359 just like my dear, sweet Kyle. 629 00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:20,174 Any way around it? 630 00:29:20,175 --> 00:29:21,717 Justice is justice, 631 00:29:21,718 --> 00:29:23,370 and you got what you deserve. 632 00:29:26,765 --> 00:29:29,183 Will you come visit me in the big house? 633 00:29:33,691 --> 00:29:35,565 Take care of yourself, Frank. 634 00:29:36,900 --> 00:29:38,735 I left you a little something. 635 00:29:57,254 --> 00:29:59,131 - Hey. - Hey. 636 00:30:05,345 --> 00:30:07,425 My dad wanted me to give you these. 637 00:30:10,183 --> 00:30:13,019 Oh, uh, to your grandma's house. 638 00:30:13,020 --> 00:30:14,353 He made copies 639 00:30:14,354 --> 00:30:16,522 as soon as the hardware store opened today. 640 00:30:16,523 --> 00:30:17,774 Cool. 641 00:30:24,420 --> 00:30:26,992 So... you want to go see it? 642 00:30:28,785 --> 00:30:29,995 What, the house? 643 00:30:30,954 --> 00:30:32,998 I mean, it's as good a time as any. 644 00:30:35,042 --> 00:30:36,167 Yeah, no. 645 00:30:36,168 --> 00:30:38,420 I mean, I just started working on this, so... 646 00:30:40,881 --> 00:30:43,507 Work the only thing keeping you from going? 647 00:30:43,508 --> 00:30:45,522 Well, yeah, work and, uh... 648 00:30:45,523 --> 00:30:47,079 the fact that it's in Wisconsin. 649 00:30:47,929 --> 00:30:50,389 You know, "I live in Wisconsin." 650 00:30:50,390 --> 00:30:53,060 Yeah, that... that doesn't even sound right, so... 651 00:30:54,394 --> 00:30:56,605 I'm not excited about Milwaukee either. 652 00:30:57,606 --> 00:31:00,399 But it's a free house. 653 00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:02,860 I mean, I think we got to at least check it out, right? 654 00:31:02,861 --> 00:31:04,447 I haven't even seen it in years. 655 00:31:04,448 --> 00:31:05,711 Right. 656 00:31:06,823 --> 00:31:07,824 Right. 657 00:31:10,452 --> 00:31:11,827 What's up, bro? You good? 658 00:31:11,828 --> 00:31:13,204 Never took you for a day drinker. 659 00:31:13,205 --> 00:31:14,205 Yeah, I'm good. 660 00:31:14,206 --> 00:31:16,415 Just waiting for my date to get here. 661 00:31:16,416 --> 00:31:18,084 Oh, Mickey? 662 00:31:18,085 --> 00:31:20,836 No, a new guy. Mickey and I broke up. 663 00:31:20,837 --> 00:31:22,463 Oh, no shit. 664 00:31:22,464 --> 00:31:24,841 Tired of all that Milkovich bullshit, huh? 665 00:31:26,676 --> 00:31:28,303 Hey, what do you know about rich people? 666 00:31:28,887 --> 00:31:31,680 I want to thank you for showing such interest 667 00:31:31,681 --> 00:31:33,182 in our little family and for pledging so much 668 00:31:33,183 --> 00:31:36,519 to spend the day with us... It was very generous. 669 00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:37,937 You ever heard of hunting groups 670 00:31:37,938 --> 00:31:40,022 that track and kill people for sport? 671 00:31:40,023 --> 00:31:41,774 - Uh... - Secret societies 672 00:31:41,775 --> 00:31:43,609 that reach the highest forms of government? 673 00:31:43,610 --> 00:31:45,528 Sex cults? Devil worshipping? 674 00:31:45,529 --> 00:31:46,737 Private islands 675 00:31:46,738 --> 00:31:48,635 that have fighting tournaments to the death? 676 00:31:48,636 --> 00:31:49,698 Human traffic... 677 00:31:49,699 --> 00:31:51,937 Can't say I've heard of any of that, man. 678 00:31:51,938 --> 00:31:54,497 - Holler if you need me. - Sure. 679 00:31:56,289 --> 00:31:57,790 So a little bit about our girls. 680 00:31:57,791 --> 00:31:59,458 They are natural learners. 681 00:31:59,459 --> 00:32:01,594 They know all of their letters and numbers, 682 00:32:01,595 --> 00:32:03,921 and I bet they'll be reading any day now. 683 00:32:03,922 --> 00:32:07,675 Your patrons are fascinating. 684 00:32:07,676 --> 00:32:09,260 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 685 00:32:09,261 --> 00:32:12,054 They're just regular workin' folk. 686 00:32:12,055 --> 00:32:13,931 - So back to the girls... - Excuse me. 687 00:32:13,932 --> 00:32:15,850 But how can they be working 688 00:32:15,851 --> 00:32:19,646 if they are here in the day at your bar, drinking? 689 00:32:21,022 --> 00:32:23,858 Night shift? I don't know. 690 00:32:23,859 --> 00:32:25,895 You're here in the middle of the day, right? 691 00:32:25,896 --> 00:32:29,455 Yes, of course, but we are incredibly wealthy. 692 00:32:30,116 --> 00:32:31,491 What are we drinking? 693 00:32:32,325 --> 00:32:33,827 French 75. 694 00:32:34,411 --> 00:32:35,911 Never heard of it. 695 00:32:37,435 --> 00:32:39,790 - Caipirinha. - Cappa-what? 696 00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:42,210 Sazerac? Negroni? Um... 697 00:32:43,962 --> 00:32:46,715 Okay. A la Paloma, hmm? 698 00:32:47,741 --> 00:32:51,385 No-zerac, No-groni, and la Pa-nopa. 699 00:32:51,386 --> 00:32:53,064 The only fancy thing we got back there 700 00:32:53,065 --> 00:32:54,180 is a bottle of "Cream de Mint," 701 00:32:54,181 --> 00:32:55,723 but that came with the place when we bought it. 702 00:32:55,724 --> 00:32:56,849 We got beer, 703 00:32:56,850 --> 00:32:58,350 and we got alcohol from the bottle. 704 00:32:58,351 --> 00:33:00,227 Well, here's an idea. 705 00:33:00,228 --> 00:33:01,562 Let's skip the bar 706 00:33:01,563 --> 00:33:04,899 and reconvene at your house after the sun sets. 707 00:33:04,900 --> 00:33:06,734 That way, we can discuss your application 708 00:33:06,735 --> 00:33:09,111 and, uh, get to know each other 709 00:33:09,112 --> 00:33:11,573 in a more... intimate setting. 710 00:33:12,449 --> 00:33:13,616 Huh? 711 00:33:19,873 --> 00:33:21,207 Right? 712 00:33:21,208 --> 00:33:22,374 Why are we laughing? 713 00:33:22,375 --> 00:33:23,792 I don't know. Just go with it. 714 00:33:34,230 --> 00:33:36,065 Where Ian Gallagher at? 715 00:33:42,854 --> 00:33:44,078 Hi. 716 00:33:44,079 --> 00:33:47,233 Oh. Hey. 717 00:33:47,234 --> 00:33:50,527 Bitch, why are you babysitting that drink? 718 00:33:50,528 --> 00:33:51,820 Are we gonna pregame 719 00:33:51,821 --> 00:33:54,573 before we get all musical and shit or what? 720 00:33:54,574 --> 00:33:57,576 Bartender! Bartender! 721 00:33:57,577 --> 00:34:00,704 I'm gonna need a round of Henny immediately, 722 00:34:00,705 --> 00:34:02,039 like, immediately. 723 00:34:03,375 --> 00:34:05,292 Let's get turnt in this motherfucker. 724 00:34:08,546 --> 00:34:11,298 I know you're worried about our age difference, 725 00:34:11,299 --> 00:34:13,008 you know, about my mom, 726 00:34:13,009 --> 00:34:15,678 but the chemistry we have between us... 727 00:34:15,679 --> 00:34:18,430 - it's crazy, right? - _ 728 00:34:18,431 --> 00:34:19,890 Yeah, it is. 729 00:34:19,891 --> 00:34:21,016 - I-I know it's early, - _ 730 00:34:21,017 --> 00:34:23,686 but I think this could be the real thing, 731 00:34:23,687 --> 00:34:27,106 - and if it is, just fuck all the other stuff. - _ 732 00:34:27,107 --> 00:34:29,400 - You know? That's just noise. - _ 733 00:34:29,401 --> 00:34:32,403 We can't let noise get in the way of what this could be. 734 00:34:32,404 --> 00:34:34,788 Uh, Julia, what is with all these signs? 735 00:34:35,747 --> 00:34:38,583 - _ - Oh, my God. 736 00:34:38,994 --> 00:34:40,783 Is this a promposal? 737 00:34:45,709 --> 00:34:47,626 Okay, Mr. Gallagher. 738 00:34:47,627 --> 00:34:49,878 You've heard the charges against you. 739 00:34:49,879 --> 00:34:51,375 What's your plea? 740 00:34:52,215 --> 00:34:53,716 I plead not guilty. 741 00:34:53,717 --> 00:34:55,050 I was framed. 742 00:34:55,051 --> 00:34:57,553 Humor me, Mr. Gallagher. 743 00:34:57,554 --> 00:34:58,844 Who framed you? 744 00:35:05,770 --> 00:35:06,854 Okay, then. 745 00:35:06,855 --> 00:35:08,731 Let's schedule the preliminary hearing. 746 00:35:08,732 --> 00:35:09,898 My calendar? 747 00:35:09,899 --> 00:35:11,233 It was the drug companies. 748 00:35:11,234 --> 00:35:12,610 Excuse me? 749 00:35:12,611 --> 00:35:14,236 The companies that made the pills... 750 00:35:14,237 --> 00:35:16,071 They're the ones who set me up. 751 00:35:16,072 --> 00:35:18,282 A guy like me, 752 00:35:18,283 --> 00:35:21,410 a father of five... Uh, six... 753 00:35:21,411 --> 00:35:24,246 Struggling with addiction all his life? 754 00:35:24,247 --> 00:35:25,956 I never stood a chance. 755 00:35:25,957 --> 00:35:27,791 It's entrapment, Your Honor, 756 00:35:27,792 --> 00:35:29,585 pharmaceutical entrapment. 757 00:35:29,586 --> 00:35:32,004 - It's the corporations... - Let me get this straight. 758 00:35:32,005 --> 00:35:34,173 You think that a company that doesn't know you from Adam 759 00:35:34,174 --> 00:35:36,091 should be the one standing here today 760 00:35:36,092 --> 00:35:39,447 instead of you, a criminal, 761 00:35:39,448 --> 00:35:42,557 whose record dates back to the Nixon administration? 762 00:35:44,809 --> 00:35:47,770 That's not the way I would've phrased it, but, yes. 763 00:35:47,771 --> 00:35:49,229 More or less, yes. 764 00:35:49,230 --> 00:35:50,356 Okay. 765 00:35:50,357 --> 00:35:51,982 Well, let me elucidate you 766 00:35:51,983 --> 00:35:55,194 on the perspective of this court, Mr. Gallagher. 767 00:35:57,197 --> 00:35:58,657 I agree with you. 768 00:36:01,284 --> 00:36:03,619 I grew up on the South Side of Chicago. 769 00:36:03,620 --> 00:36:04,912 I have friends and family 770 00:36:04,913 --> 00:36:07,164 whose whole lives were turned upside down 771 00:36:07,165 --> 00:36:10,125 just 'cause they had a couple of crack rocks in their pocket. 772 00:36:10,126 --> 00:36:12,461 My own brother did ten years 773 00:36:12,462 --> 00:36:14,892 on some trumped-up possession charge. 774 00:36:14,893 --> 00:36:17,299 That is a crying shame. 775 00:36:17,300 --> 00:36:20,094 Your Honor, I don't mean to speak out of turn, 776 00:36:20,095 --> 00:36:23,847 but what exactly did the War on Drugs get us, 777 00:36:23,848 --> 00:36:26,475 other than generations of locked-up parents 778 00:36:26,476 --> 00:36:28,477 away from families who needed them? 779 00:36:28,478 --> 00:36:29,520 Mm-hmm. 780 00:36:29,521 --> 00:36:31,731 Why repeat the same cycle? 781 00:36:33,817 --> 00:36:36,694 Why tear Mr. Gallagher away from his kids? 782 00:36:36,695 --> 00:36:40,197 Why punish a fellow citizen who has a problem? 783 00:36:40,198 --> 00:36:42,324 An illness, Your Honor. 784 00:36:42,325 --> 00:36:45,506 An illness foisted on me by greedy drug companies. 785 00:36:45,507 --> 00:36:49,415 I've never heard of an illness best cured by prison. 786 00:36:49,416 --> 00:36:52,043 Me neither. Have you, Mr. McClatchy? 787 00:36:56,188 --> 00:36:58,090 No, ma'am. 788 00:36:58,091 --> 00:37:00,426 The district attorney and the citizens of Chicago 789 00:37:00,427 --> 00:37:01,805 agree with you, Your Honor. 790 00:37:03,238 --> 00:37:06,390 I think we all desire a new approach. 791 00:37:06,391 --> 00:37:08,016 Uh, Your Honor, 792 00:37:08,017 --> 00:37:10,728 all due deference and with respect, 793 00:37:10,729 --> 00:37:13,522 but maybe it's time for you to be the change 794 00:37:13,523 --> 00:37:15,024 you want to see in the world. 795 00:37:16,401 --> 00:37:18,695 Don't push it, Mr. Gallagher. 796 00:37:20,029 --> 00:37:22,574 Without any objections from the prosecution, 797 00:37:23,074 --> 00:37:26,728 I believe that a pre-trial intervention is appropriate. 798 00:37:27,495 --> 00:37:28,872 Mr. Gallagher... 799 00:37:31,249 --> 00:37:32,750 ...the Court hereby orders you 800 00:37:32,751 --> 00:37:35,711 to complete 100 hours of community service 801 00:37:35,712 --> 00:37:37,001 and a court-approved 802 00:37:37,002 --> 00:37:39,757 residential addiction therapy program. 803 00:37:39,758 --> 00:37:41,550 All rise. 804 00:37:41,551 --> 00:37:44,136 Thank you, Your Honor. Thank you. 805 00:37:44,137 --> 00:37:46,138 Hey. 806 00:37:56,983 --> 00:37:59,234 About Lorne and Delphine coming over tonight, 807 00:37:59,235 --> 00:38:01,269 - I'm starting to think they might be... - They're swingers? 808 00:38:01,270 --> 00:38:03,489 Why else would they pay $5,000 to date us 809 00:38:03,490 --> 00:38:05,115 if they didn't expect sex? 810 00:38:05,116 --> 00:38:07,203 And at this point, the only way our daughters 811 00:38:07,204 --> 00:38:09,745 are gonna get into Eldridge is by engaging in a night 812 00:38:09,746 --> 00:38:11,915 of extremely perverted wife-swapping. 813 00:38:13,249 --> 00:38:15,123 So I guess we should cancel. 814 00:38:15,124 --> 00:38:16,960 It's a shame. 815 00:38:16,961 --> 00:38:18,380 Without Eldridge, our girls 816 00:38:18,381 --> 00:38:19,880 are gonna be putting their life on the line 817 00:38:19,881 --> 00:38:21,479 every day in public school. 818 00:38:22,133 --> 00:38:24,135 I mean, unless... 819 00:38:25,094 --> 00:38:26,454 Unless what? 820 00:38:28,264 --> 00:38:29,556 Swinging? 821 00:38:29,557 --> 00:38:31,892 It wouldn't be the freakiest thing we've ever done. 822 00:38:31,893 --> 00:38:33,268 And she's French. 823 00:38:33,269 --> 00:38:36,230 So, in Europe, it's probably pretty normal, right? 824 00:38:36,231 --> 00:38:37,815 Are you saying we should do it? 825 00:38:37,816 --> 00:38:39,650 I'm... no, I'm... I'm saying maybe... 826 00:38:40,777 --> 00:38:42,429 Eldridge is awesome. 827 00:38:43,613 --> 00:38:46,782 I think Scottie Pippen's kids went to Eldridge. 828 00:38:46,783 --> 00:38:48,909 Rumor has it Brian Urlacher's did, too. 829 00:38:48,910 --> 00:38:51,078 It doesn't get cooler than that. 830 00:38:51,079 --> 00:38:53,331 So you would do it? Swing with them? 831 00:38:55,291 --> 00:38:57,794 - All right, this feels like a trap. - It's not. 832 00:38:58,628 --> 00:39:01,573 You know I would do anything for you and the girls. 833 00:39:02,323 --> 00:39:04,675 So, if you want me to bang some extremely hot French lady, 834 00:39:04,676 --> 00:39:06,802 I will, I guess. 835 00:39:06,803 --> 00:39:10,282 And I guess... I could stomach 836 00:39:10,283 --> 00:39:12,641 letting some living Ken doll clap my cakes... 837 00:39:12,642 --> 00:39:13,642 For the girls, of course. 838 00:39:13,643 --> 00:39:15,603 - Clap your what? - I don't know. 839 00:39:16,813 --> 00:39:19,064 I used to spend a month each summer 840 00:39:19,065 --> 00:39:20,350 visiting Nana in Milwaukee. 841 00:39:20,351 --> 00:39:21,417 - Yeah? - Yeah. 842 00:39:21,418 --> 00:39:24,862 When I was nine, this drive felt like it took forever. 843 00:39:24,863 --> 00:39:26,947 I mean, I would've told you that it would take all day, 844 00:39:26,948 --> 00:39:28,115 but look. 845 00:39:28,116 --> 00:39:30,298 GPS says two hours. 846 00:39:31,311 --> 00:39:33,245 It takes longer to get across town in traffic. 847 00:39:33,246 --> 00:39:36,666 - That's not so bad, right? - No. No, it's not bad. 848 00:39:46,323 --> 00:39:48,643 _ 849 00:39:50,763 --> 00:39:52,331 Yo, how long are we standing around 850 00:39:52,332 --> 00:39:53,599 until you tell me what we're doing? 851 00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:56,226 - We're waiting. - For what? 852 00:39:56,227 --> 00:39:57,604 For that. 853 00:39:58,220 --> 00:40:00,111 _ 854 00:40:08,197 --> 00:40:09,573 Hey, boss. 855 00:40:09,574 --> 00:40:11,533 Fellas. 856 00:40:11,534 --> 00:40:14,494 So what do you guys say we check out this open house? 857 00:40:14,495 --> 00:40:16,788 Hmm? 858 00:40:16,789 --> 00:40:19,082 You stay. Watch the truck. 859 00:40:38,819 --> 00:40:40,505 What the fuck? 860 00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:46,902 - Hey. - No, don't touch me. 861 00:40:46,903 --> 00:40:48,487 Okay. 862 00:40:48,488 --> 00:40:50,226 We let things get out of hand. 863 00:40:50,949 --> 00:40:52,991 It was fun while it lasted. 864 00:40:52,992 --> 00:40:56,078 But I can't go to a school dance with you. 865 00:40:56,079 --> 00:40:57,454 That's just not possible, Julia. 866 00:40:57,455 --> 00:40:59,581 It would be possible... 867 00:40:59,582 --> 00:41:02,193 if you liked me as much as I like you. 868 00:41:03,211 --> 00:41:04,920 I'm sleeping with your mom, Julia. 869 00:41:04,921 --> 00:41:06,421 So dump her! 870 00:41:06,422 --> 00:41:09,257 I can't afford that right now... Emotionally. 871 00:41:09,258 --> 00:41:10,910 Do you love her? 872 00:41:12,193 --> 00:41:14,262 I'm growing to care for her. 873 00:41:14,263 --> 00:41:16,139 But she's so old! 874 00:41:16,140 --> 00:41:18,376 She watches "60 Minutes." 875 00:41:19,268 --> 00:41:21,436 She bleaches her mustache. 876 00:41:22,415 --> 00:41:24,940 She lasers the varicose veins in her legs. 877 00:41:24,941 --> 00:41:27,150 Have you seen her calves? 878 00:41:27,151 --> 00:41:30,445 They're a fucking subway map. 879 00:41:32,323 --> 00:41:34,450 What do you even see in her? 880 00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:38,954 I'm gonna threaten to kill myself. 881 00:41:38,955 --> 00:41:40,518 You're gonna threaten, 882 00:41:40,519 --> 00:41:42,031 or you're gonna actually try to kill yourself? 883 00:41:42,032 --> 00:41:44,627 I hate you! 884 00:41:50,633 --> 00:41:53,175 Mr. Gallagher, welcome to Placid Journeys. 885 00:41:53,176 --> 00:41:55,536 I'm Mora. I run the place. 886 00:41:55,537 --> 00:41:58,325 Over that way is the spa and the meditation room. 887 00:41:58,326 --> 00:42:01,309 Down there is the kitchen with our 24-hour onsite chef. 888 00:42:01,310 --> 00:42:04,104 Now, she specializes in farm-to-table. 889 00:42:04,105 --> 00:42:05,647 It's parsnip season. 890 00:42:05,648 --> 00:42:07,427 You like parsnips? 891 00:42:07,428 --> 00:42:09,688 As much as the next fella, I guess. 892 00:42:09,689 --> 00:42:11,361 - Mm. - So... 893 00:42:11,362 --> 00:42:13,223 what do you guys have on tap here? 894 00:42:13,224 --> 00:42:14,406 Methadone? 895 00:42:14,407 --> 00:42:16,376 This is behavioral therapy. 896 00:42:17,243 --> 00:42:18,744 We mainly just talk. 897 00:42:18,745 --> 00:42:20,829 Jesus. Really? 898 00:42:20,830 --> 00:42:22,290 You like smoothies? 899 00:42:23,374 --> 00:42:24,609 Come on. 900 00:42:25,193 --> 00:42:27,294 I got to say, this is nothing like 901 00:42:27,295 --> 00:42:30,714 the rehab facility I was sent to back in the day. 902 00:42:30,715 --> 00:42:32,132 And I can't help but notice 903 00:42:32,133 --> 00:42:33,884 that the demographics have changed. 904 00:42:33,885 --> 00:42:37,721 - Everybody here is... - Young, white, rich. 905 00:42:37,722 --> 00:42:39,389 It's the opioid epidemic. 906 00:42:39,390 --> 00:42:40,932 Doctors spent years 907 00:42:40,933 --> 00:42:43,185 under-prescribing black people pain medication, 908 00:42:43,186 --> 00:42:45,395 so they never had a chance to get addicted, 909 00:42:45,396 --> 00:42:47,314 and they don't wind up here. 910 00:42:47,315 --> 00:42:49,107 All that oppression, and you don't even get 911 00:42:49,108 --> 00:42:51,485 a shot at a good doctor-prescribed high? 912 00:42:51,486 --> 00:42:52,616 Meanwhile... 913 00:42:53,390 --> 00:42:55,822 a white cheerleader sprains an ankle, 914 00:42:55,823 --> 00:42:58,368 and she gets prescribed a 90-day supply of Oxy 915 00:42:58,369 --> 00:43:00,327 with six refills. 916 00:43:00,328 --> 00:43:02,038 - What are you gonna do? - Hmm. 917 00:43:28,998 --> 00:43:30,249 Well, it's clean. 918 00:43:36,673 --> 00:43:38,383 It smells like my grandma. 919 00:43:41,119 --> 00:43:44,038 I don't see anything falling down. 920 00:43:46,082 --> 00:43:47,584 Yeah, I was, uh... 921 00:43:48,376 --> 00:43:53,586 kind of expecting a crazy old cat lady hoarder house. 922 00:43:55,049 --> 00:43:56,883 I mean, this wallpaper is awful. 923 00:43:56,884 --> 00:43:58,318 We'd take that down. 924 00:43:58,319 --> 00:44:00,053 But I mean, I don't know. 925 00:44:00,054 --> 00:44:01,346 Am I crazy? 926 00:44:01,347 --> 00:44:03,014 This isn't that bad. 927 00:44:03,015 --> 00:44:04,391 I'm gonna check out the upstairs. 928 00:44:04,392 --> 00:44:05,935 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 929 00:44:27,415 --> 00:44:29,333 - Pretty big, huh? - Yeah. 930 00:44:30,297 --> 00:44:33,170 If you wanted to keep fixing bikes on the side, 931 00:44:33,171 --> 00:44:34,589 you'd have the space. 932 00:44:35,631 --> 00:44:38,383 And I mean, I could fit a lift stand right here. 933 00:44:38,384 --> 00:44:40,427 Work bench. 934 00:44:40,428 --> 00:44:42,574 - Tool cabinet. - I could get maybe... 935 00:44:43,222 --> 00:44:45,975 maybe two bikes in here at a time, three in a pinch. 936 00:44:48,728 --> 00:44:50,980 - It's nice. - Yeah. 937 00:44:52,540 --> 00:44:54,191 - Pension? - Yeah. 938 00:44:54,192 --> 00:44:57,018 Pension, holiday, health benefits, 939 00:44:57,019 --> 00:44:58,478 maternity leave. 940 00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:01,448 Well, I don't really see maternity leave 941 00:45:01,449 --> 00:45:02,450 being an issue, 942 00:45:02,451 --> 00:45:05,118 so long as you and I are exclusive. 943 00:45:05,119 --> 00:45:07,495 But everything else... 944 00:45:07,496 --> 00:45:09,623 I'm sure we can work something out. 945 00:45:12,501 --> 00:45:14,795 I thought we were watching our carbs. 946 00:45:16,047 --> 00:45:18,466 So is that a yes to my offer? 947 00:45:20,894 --> 00:45:24,804 Julia, honey, you'd like to have Debbie around more, wouldn't you? 948 00:45:31,562 --> 00:45:33,063 All right, well, 949 00:45:33,064 --> 00:45:34,272 don't mind her. 950 00:45:34,273 --> 00:45:36,760 She's just mad because some boy at school 951 00:45:36,761 --> 00:45:39,027 wouldn't go to the school dance with her. 952 00:45:39,028 --> 00:45:41,613 Then she comes home, and she orders pizza, 953 00:45:41,614 --> 00:45:45,242 and it's like, the only thing more unforgiving than a scale 954 00:45:45,243 --> 00:45:47,612 is a shallow teenage boy. 955 00:45:47,613 --> 00:45:50,084 - Am I right? - Yeah. 956 00:45:50,085 --> 00:45:52,045 Boys. Heartbreakers. 957 00:45:56,963 --> 00:45:58,129 Hey, Berto. 958 00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:02,231 - Trying to find my dad. - Yeah, good luck. 959 00:46:03,024 --> 00:46:04,470 I was hoping you could help. 960 00:46:06,847 --> 00:46:07,847 How? 961 00:46:07,848 --> 00:46:09,703 He was hanging out with a Latina lady 962 00:46:09,704 --> 00:46:11,601 named Faye who owns a Rolls Royce. 963 00:46:11,602 --> 00:46:12,936 Maybe you could look her up for me? 964 00:46:12,937 --> 00:46:14,104 You sure this can't wait? 965 00:46:14,105 --> 00:46:15,647 I literally just bought this pizza, 966 00:46:15,648 --> 00:46:17,230 and it's only getting colder by the second. 967 00:46:17,231 --> 00:46:18,551 I'm desperate. 968 00:46:19,568 --> 00:46:21,445 All right, step into my office. 969 00:46:47,772 --> 00:46:50,182 We ain't got no free services, you heard? 970 00:46:51,100 --> 00:46:52,767 So give us what you owe, 971 00:46:52,768 --> 00:46:55,270 or we gonna be at every open house you got. 972 00:46:55,271 --> 00:46:56,479 Jesus. 973 00:46:59,233 --> 00:47:00,234 I was high. 974 00:47:01,777 --> 00:47:03,707 I was on another planet, man. 975 00:47:03,708 --> 00:47:05,948 I never should've been behind the wheel, but... 976 00:47:07,283 --> 00:47:08,450 ...there I was. 977 00:47:08,451 --> 00:47:10,118 One second, I'm going the wrong way 978 00:47:10,119 --> 00:47:11,453 through a Taco Bell drive-through. 979 00:47:13,164 --> 00:47:14,456 Next second, 980 00:47:14,457 --> 00:47:16,082 I'm in a field in Indiana 981 00:47:16,083 --> 00:47:18,294 drinking milk directly from a cow's udder. 982 00:47:19,795 --> 00:47:21,963 And my dad's all like, 983 00:47:21,964 --> 00:47:24,549 "Well, that's the second Mercedes you've lost." 984 00:47:24,550 --> 00:47:26,009 And I'm like, "Well, I'm fine, Dad. 985 00:47:26,010 --> 00:47:28,178 Thanks for asking. 986 00:47:28,179 --> 00:47:30,556 The salmonella's finally cleared up." 987 00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:34,602 And then he brought me here again. 988 00:47:35,582 --> 00:47:38,271 I just think he wanted me out of the picture... 989 00:47:39,648 --> 00:47:42,817 ...so I didn't embarrass him in front of his... 990 00:47:42,818 --> 00:47:45,487 Can't you do something for this poor kid? 991 00:47:45,488 --> 00:47:47,072 He's obviously dope sick. 992 00:47:47,073 --> 00:47:48,531 No, I can't. 993 00:47:48,532 --> 00:47:50,700 But since you took it upon yourself to interrupt him, 994 00:47:50,701 --> 00:47:52,577 perhaps you'd like to share next. 995 00:47:52,578 --> 00:47:53,661 Share what? 996 00:47:53,662 --> 00:47:56,039 Most people use their initial share 997 00:47:56,040 --> 00:47:57,916 to recount their addiction journey. 998 00:47:59,168 --> 00:48:00,835 How long is this session? 999 00:48:00,836 --> 00:48:02,504 We have two hours left, Frank. 1000 00:48:02,505 --> 00:48:04,214 Just two hours, and you're wasting your time 1001 00:48:04,215 --> 00:48:05,757 on amateur stuff? 1002 00:48:05,758 --> 00:48:07,258 Sorry. 1003 00:48:07,259 --> 00:48:09,177 Okay. 1004 00:48:09,178 --> 00:48:12,680 How many here have mixed a bottle of fentanyl nose spray 1005 00:48:12,681 --> 00:48:14,432 with a half-gallon of orange juice 1006 00:48:14,433 --> 00:48:15,683 and hidden in the wheel well 1007 00:48:15,684 --> 00:48:18,812 of an American Airlines flight to Rio de Janeiro? 1008 00:48:18,813 --> 00:48:19,855 Hands? 1009 00:48:21,232 --> 00:48:22,857 No one? 1010 00:48:22,858 --> 00:48:25,193 Really? 1011 00:48:25,194 --> 00:48:27,237 Okay, I think I'll start there. 1012 00:48:27,238 --> 00:48:28,390 ? Would you rescue me? ? 1013 00:48:28,391 --> 00:48:29,739 ? Would you get my back? ? 1014 00:48:29,740 --> 00:48:31,366 ? Would you take my call when I start to crack? ? 1015 00:48:31,367 --> 00:48:32,530 ? Would you rescue me? ? 1016 00:48:32,531 --> 00:48:33,571 ? Uh ? 1017 00:48:33,572 --> 00:48:35,370 ? Would you rescue me? ? 1018 00:48:35,371 --> 00:48:37,247 ? Would you rescue me when I'm by myself ? 1019 00:48:37,248 --> 00:48:39,290 ? When I need your love, if I need your help? ? 1020 00:48:39,291 --> 00:48:40,375 Yes, bitch, 1021 00:48:40,376 --> 00:48:42,377 I got the card-duplication machine thingy, 1022 00:48:42,378 --> 00:48:44,212 but if you got the number and the expiration date, 1023 00:48:44,213 --> 00:48:45,505 then you're good to go. 1024 00:48:45,506 --> 00:48:47,590 Yes, spend, girl, 1025 00:48:47,591 --> 00:48:48,883 before they realize you took it. 1026 00:48:48,884 --> 00:48:50,343 And get me some boots, too. 1027 00:48:50,344 --> 00:48:51,969 Not Uggs, bitch, okay? 1028 00:48:51,970 --> 00:48:53,805 I'm not trying to look basic this fall. 1029 00:48:55,307 --> 00:48:58,226 Yes, the thievery of it all. 1030 00:48:58,227 --> 00:48:59,602 Oh, yeah. Okay. 1031 00:48:59,603 --> 00:49:01,271 I'm on a date, so I got to go. 1032 00:49:04,066 --> 00:49:05,900 You want a show? 1033 00:49:05,901 --> 00:49:07,735 Watch me walk away. 1034 00:49:07,736 --> 00:49:10,238 ? If I'm... ? 1035 00:49:10,239 --> 00:49:12,240 Ooh. 1036 00:49:12,241 --> 00:49:15,910 ? ...slipping under, under ? 1037 00:49:15,911 --> 00:49:17,912 What the fuck is that? 1038 00:49:17,913 --> 00:49:19,414 That is Cole. 1039 00:49:19,415 --> 00:49:21,207 He's my date. 1040 00:49:21,208 --> 00:49:23,418 Uh-huh. 1041 00:49:23,419 --> 00:49:24,749 What's he doing? 1042 00:49:24,750 --> 00:49:27,589 ? When I need your love, if I need your help ? 1043 00:49:27,590 --> 00:49:29,299 He's getting us drinks. 1044 00:49:29,300 --> 00:49:30,592 ? Would you rescue me? ? 1045 00:49:31,627 --> 00:49:35,096 ? Slow flame is what we got ? 1046 00:49:36,515 --> 00:49:38,099 ? It doesn't own us ? 1047 00:49:38,100 --> 00:49:42,604 ? But I like it a lot, a lot ? 1048 00:49:42,605 --> 00:49:45,148 ? Slow flame... ? 1049 00:49:45,149 --> 00:49:46,608 Can I help you? 1050 00:49:48,777 --> 00:49:49,819 Hiya. 1051 00:49:49,820 --> 00:49:52,363 Thanks for having us. 1052 00:49:52,364 --> 00:49:54,073 Oh, this is our boy, Simon. 1053 00:49:54,074 --> 00:49:55,668 Bonsoir. 1054 00:49:56,702 --> 00:49:57,760 Bonsoir. 1055 00:49:57,761 --> 00:49:59,245 C'est magnifique. 1056 00:50:01,123 --> 00:50:03,500 Can I offer you guys something to drink? 1057 00:50:03,501 --> 00:50:05,126 Soda, water? 1058 00:50:08,589 --> 00:50:10,757 ? I'll be here when you're ready ? 1059 00:50:10,758 --> 00:50:14,135 ? If my pride don't get in the way ? 1060 00:50:14,136 --> 00:50:16,304 What are these strange papers, Papa? 1061 00:50:16,305 --> 00:50:18,097 Um... 1062 00:50:18,098 --> 00:50:19,891 good question, Simon. 1063 00:50:19,892 --> 00:50:21,142 This is, uh... 1064 00:50:21,143 --> 00:50:22,945 It's not organic. 1065 00:50:22,946 --> 00:50:24,646 I thought this was gonna be about sex. 1066 00:50:24,647 --> 00:50:26,606 Me too. I waxed. 1067 00:50:26,607 --> 00:50:29,234 But we just need to play nice and be good hosts. 1068 00:50:29,235 --> 00:50:30,818 These guys are reporting back 1069 00:50:30,819 --> 00:50:32,487 to the admissions committee, remember? 1070 00:50:32,488 --> 00:50:33,647 ? Different rains ? 1071 00:50:33,648 --> 00:50:35,448 ? Different winds ? 1072 00:50:35,449 --> 00:50:37,742 What is wrong, mon petite étoile? 1073 00:50:37,743 --> 00:50:41,162 You said this place would be filthy and falling apart. 1074 00:50:41,163 --> 00:50:43,989 You said there'd be insects and rats. 1075 00:50:43,990 --> 00:50:45,248 I want a rat. 1076 00:50:45,249 --> 00:50:47,335 Excuse me. 1077 00:50:47,336 --> 00:50:50,100 Where are your roaches and other vermin? 1078 00:50:50,101 --> 00:50:51,980 Yes. Can we please see them? 1079 00:50:51,981 --> 00:50:53,341 Time-out. 1080 00:50:53,342 --> 00:50:54,841 Um... 1081 00:50:55,871 --> 00:50:57,888 I thought we were gonna be... 1082 00:50:58,639 --> 00:50:59,847 you know what I mean? 1083 00:51:01,148 --> 00:51:04,534 Can you please explain to us what's going on here? 1084 00:51:06,105 --> 00:51:07,272 Well... 1085 00:51:07,273 --> 00:51:11,484 We have not been around the poor before, 1086 00:51:11,485 --> 00:51:14,362 and we wanted Simon to see how... 1087 00:51:14,363 --> 00:51:16,891 you people live. 1088 00:51:17,658 --> 00:51:19,864 We were hoping you would demonstrate to him 1089 00:51:19,865 --> 00:51:22,036 destitution and suffering. 1090 00:51:22,037 --> 00:51:24,096 To motivate him to work harder in school. 1091 00:51:24,097 --> 00:51:25,144 Mm. 1092 00:51:25,145 --> 00:51:27,333 Yes, so he will not end up in a place like this. 1093 00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:40,097 Hi. 1094 00:51:40,931 --> 00:51:42,390 Sure, come on in. 1095 00:51:44,018 --> 00:51:46,936 - How'd you know where I live? - Uh, you took the Audi. 1096 00:51:46,937 --> 00:51:48,564 I tracked the GPS. 1097 00:51:49,481 --> 00:51:52,442 This place is a dump. 1098 00:51:52,443 --> 00:51:54,444 No wonder you're taking my mom's handouts. 1099 00:51:54,445 --> 00:51:55,612 You come here to insult me? 1100 00:51:55,613 --> 00:51:57,196 No, I've given it some thought. 1101 00:51:57,197 --> 00:51:58,406 Given what some thought? 1102 00:51:58,407 --> 00:51:59,699 I've decided 1103 00:51:59,700 --> 00:52:01,699 we are going to the homecoming dance together. 1104 00:52:02,244 --> 00:52:04,912 Julia, I thought I made myself clear the first time. 1105 00:52:04,913 --> 00:52:06,539 Oh, no, you did. 1106 00:52:06,540 --> 00:52:09,083 But like I said, I've given it some thought, 1107 00:52:09,084 --> 00:52:11,195 and I've decided we're going. 1108 00:52:11,837 --> 00:52:13,087 Okay. 1109 00:52:13,088 --> 00:52:14,297 No. 1110 00:52:14,298 --> 00:52:16,214 There is literally no way 1111 00:52:16,215 --> 00:52:18,176 I'm going to the homecoming dance with you. 1112 00:52:18,177 --> 00:52:19,719 And you barging in here like this, 1113 00:52:19,720 --> 00:52:21,429 it's kind of psycho, Julia. 1114 00:52:21,430 --> 00:52:23,056 It's a free country, 1115 00:52:23,057 --> 00:52:24,974 so you don't have to go. 1116 00:52:24,975 --> 00:52:26,476 But if you don't, 1117 00:52:26,477 --> 00:52:28,603 I am definitely gonna tell my mom 1118 00:52:28,604 --> 00:52:30,313 that you went down on me. 1119 00:52:30,314 --> 00:52:33,608 Three... No, four times. 1120 00:52:33,609 --> 00:52:35,903 Is that psycho? 1121 00:52:46,224 --> 00:52:49,457 Well, I can see... 1122 00:52:49,458 --> 00:52:50,458 Ooh, and smell... 1123 00:52:50,459 --> 00:52:53,711 That you have been working hard at sanitation. 1124 00:52:53,712 --> 00:52:54,879 Yes, sir. 1125 00:52:54,880 --> 00:52:56,130 You got five minutes. 1126 00:52:56,131 --> 00:52:58,299 My wife and I like watching that singing show 1127 00:52:58,300 --> 00:52:59,425 with the spinny chairs. 1128 00:52:59,426 --> 00:53:00,761 It's getting ready to start. 1129 00:53:01,470 --> 00:53:02,680 Sir... 1130 00:53:03,389 --> 00:53:04,598 garbage is dirty. 1131 00:53:05,599 --> 00:53:07,975 ? All the good things about you ? 1132 00:53:07,976 --> 00:53:10,561 ? All the good things ? 1133 00:53:10,562 --> 00:53:12,275 ? About you ? 1134 00:53:12,276 --> 00:53:15,441 ? All the good things about you ? 1135 00:53:21,448 --> 00:53:22,699 We're Imperial Mammoth. 1136 00:53:22,700 --> 00:53:24,450 We're gonna take a break, but we'll be back in ten. 1137 00:53:26,161 --> 00:53:28,426 That's some Beethoven shit, am I right? 1138 00:53:28,427 --> 00:53:30,370 All right, sir, can I have another one, please? 1139 00:53:30,371 --> 00:53:32,291 I'm gonna need, like, ten more of these bitches. 1140 00:53:32,292 --> 00:53:34,168 Yes. Hey! 1141 00:53:34,169 --> 00:53:37,004 Look, I hooked up with him once, and he moved in. 1142 00:53:37,005 --> 00:53:38,131 I didn't have a choice. 1143 00:53:38,132 --> 00:53:39,549 Now he won't go. 1144 00:53:39,550 --> 00:53:41,551 I was hoping, since I got his ex here, 1145 00:53:41,552 --> 00:53:43,469 that maybe he'd take him off my hands. 1146 00:53:43,470 --> 00:53:45,388 Please, God. 1147 00:53:45,389 --> 00:53:47,265 So, no, he's not my boyfriend. 1148 00:53:47,266 --> 00:53:50,351 He's dumb, he's rude, he's politically ignorant, 1149 00:53:50,352 --> 00:53:52,645 he's violent, he's socially inept. 1150 00:53:52,646 --> 00:53:54,230 I don't even think he can read. 1151 00:53:54,231 --> 00:53:56,023 And he's way too aggressive in bed 1152 00:53:56,024 --> 00:53:57,150 and not in a good way. 1153 00:53:57,151 --> 00:53:59,068 All right. 1154 00:53:59,069 --> 00:54:00,445 You convinced me. 1155 00:54:00,446 --> 00:54:02,781 I'll take him off your hands. 1156 00:54:04,199 --> 00:54:06,117 Is this, uh... 1157 00:54:06,118 --> 00:54:08,077 this what you do when you don't like somebody? 1158 00:54:08,664 --> 00:54:10,538 You bash 'em behind their backs? 1159 00:54:10,539 --> 00:54:13,451 Get a good laugh at their expense with your fucking friends? 1160 00:54:15,377 --> 00:54:17,420 Try to pawn 'em off to some other guy? 1161 00:54:17,421 --> 00:54:20,339 No, I... uh, I-I didn't... I didn't m-mean that... 1162 00:54:20,340 --> 00:54:23,217 Byron. Byron, come on. 1163 00:54:23,218 --> 00:54:24,845 I know exactly what you meant. 1164 00:54:25,888 --> 00:54:27,847 Unfortunately for you, 1165 00:54:27,848 --> 00:54:29,432 I'm not the kind of guy who lets people 1166 00:54:29,433 --> 00:54:31,017 talk shit about the man he loves, 1167 00:54:31,018 --> 00:54:33,394 so, uh... hey, can you hold these for me? 1168 00:54:33,395 --> 00:54:34,937 - Sure. - Thanks. 1169 00:54:39,610 --> 00:54:41,027 Look at my man. 1170 00:54:41,028 --> 00:54:42,821 - Don't take no shit. - Calm down. 1171 00:54:45,199 --> 00:54:47,867 I'm gonna do gymnastics on that dick tonight. 1172 00:54:47,868 --> 00:54:50,871 I'm gonna Simone Biles that dick, you know what I'm saying? 1173 00:54:55,459 --> 00:54:57,502 Hey. 1174 00:55:04,259 --> 00:55:05,593 ? Oh, Christ ? 1175 00:55:08,972 --> 00:55:11,557 ? Am I good for nothing? ? 1176 00:55:11,558 --> 00:55:13,184 I love you, 1177 00:55:13,185 --> 00:55:14,602 Mickey Milkovich... 1178 00:55:16,563 --> 00:55:17,980 ...more than anything. 1179 00:55:17,981 --> 00:55:20,274 ? Is always waiting at the gate ? 1180 00:55:20,275 --> 00:55:21,984 And if you'll let me, 1181 00:55:21,985 --> 00:55:23,819 I-I'd like to spend the rest of my life... 1182 00:55:23,820 --> 00:55:26,614 Jesus Christ, save the fucking speech, you pussy. 1183 00:55:26,615 --> 00:55:28,199 ? And I was told ? 1184 00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:29,660 I'll marry you. 1185 00:55:30,874 --> 00:55:32,495 Of course I'll fucking marry you. 1186 00:55:33,997 --> 00:55:37,583 ? The drums of war beat louder warnings ? 1187 00:55:38,585 --> 00:55:39,627 You're late. 1188 00:55:39,628 --> 00:55:40,920 You're early. 1189 00:55:40,921 --> 00:55:42,949 Just doing my part to break stereotypes. 1190 00:55:43,550 --> 00:55:45,049 What's that smell? 1191 00:55:45,050 --> 00:55:47,009 The smell of a man saving the city from corruption. 1192 00:55:47,010 --> 00:55:48,344 Ugh. 1193 00:55:48,345 --> 00:55:50,805 Since when does Lip call family meetings? 1194 00:55:50,806 --> 00:55:52,515 Does anyone know what two lesbians do 1195 00:55:52,516 --> 00:55:53,891 when they go to homecoming? 1196 00:55:53,892 --> 00:55:56,769 Do they both wear dresses? Do neither wear dresses? 1197 00:55:56,770 --> 00:55:58,521 Come on, man. 1198 00:55:58,522 --> 00:55:59,897 - Come on. - Come on. 1199 00:55:59,898 --> 00:56:01,900 Yeah, that's go... That's gonna help you a lot. 1200 00:56:05,289 --> 00:56:06,571 What the fuck is that smell? 1201 00:56:06,572 --> 00:56:08,365 Carl's trying to save the city. 1202 00:56:09,157 --> 00:56:13,244 Hey, everybody. Uh, thanks for coming. 1203 00:56:13,245 --> 00:56:15,955 I wanted to tell you all this in person. 1204 00:56:15,956 --> 00:56:17,244 What, you fall off the wagon? 1205 00:56:17,245 --> 00:56:18,666 - No. - You going to prison? 1206 00:56:18,667 --> 00:56:20,001 What? No. 1207 00:56:20,002 --> 00:56:21,252 Tami dumped you. 1208 00:56:21,253 --> 00:56:22,587 She's pregnant again? 1209 00:56:22,588 --> 00:56:24,338 Oh, she definitely dumped you. 1210 00:56:24,339 --> 00:56:26,132 No, will everybody just shut the fuck up? 1211 00:56:26,133 --> 00:56:28,093 Listen, please. 1212 00:56:32,512 --> 00:56:34,473 Me, Tami, and Fred are moving to Milwaukee. 1213 00:56:36,101 --> 00:56:38,879 Uh, her family gave us an old house up there, 1214 00:56:40,188 --> 00:56:42,273 and, uh, it's... it's nice. 1215 00:56:51,507 --> 00:56:54,201 It's only two hours away, you know, and it's big, 1216 00:56:54,202 --> 00:56:57,121 so you guys can all come up and visit. 1217 00:56:57,122 --> 00:56:59,707 And I'll still be around, you know, on weekends 1218 00:56:59,708 --> 00:57:04,378 and, uh, holidays and stuff like that, so... 1219 00:57:11,428 --> 00:57:12,637 Anyway, that's it. 1220 00:57:12,638 --> 00:57:15,556 That's, uh... 1221 00:57:15,557 --> 00:57:17,475 That's all I got, so... 1222 00:57:38,288 --> 00:57:39,413 Who are you? 1223 00:57:39,414 --> 00:57:41,457 I'm your Uncle Frank, 1224 00:57:41,458 --> 00:57:43,585 and I'm gonna take care of you. 1225 00:57:46,129 --> 00:57:47,797 All I need in return 1226 00:57:47,798 --> 00:57:49,173 is for your parents to make sure 1227 00:57:49,174 --> 00:57:52,468 Uncle Frank's commissary account is nice and full. 1228 00:57:52,469 --> 00:57:53,928 I wouldn't smell it. 1229 00:57:53,929 --> 00:57:55,475 Just swallow. 1230 00:57:55,585 --> 00:58:00,671 Sync and corrections by btsix www.addic7ed.com