1
00:00:00,443 --> 00:00:02,992
This one's from me.
The ribboning isn't my best...

2
00:00:03,060 --> 00:00:04,226
I have carpal tunnel.

3
00:00:04,295 --> 00:00:06,476
My new company is putting
me up at The Prescott,

4
00:00:06,511 --> 00:00:08,530
a luxury residence with full amenities.

5
00:00:09,199 --> 00:00:11,199
I admit, this extravagant lifestyle

6
00:00:11,268 --> 00:00:12,667
can make me a little uncomfortable.

7
00:00:12,692 --> 00:00:14,492
Gentle, Marta!

8
00:00:14,638 --> 00:00:16,648
Another candle. Thanks, everyone.

9
00:00:16,673 --> 00:00:17,872
Alex, you should know

10
00:00:17,908 --> 00:00:21,242
that a crook works at the
hair salon downstairs...

11
00:00:21,761 --> 00:00:23,937
Adolfo of Venice.

12
00:00:23,962 --> 00:00:25,797
Isn't he the colorist to the stars?

13
00:00:25,822 --> 00:00:28,023
Thank you for asking even
though I know you know.

14
00:00:28,048 --> 00:00:29,314
I hate him.

15
00:00:29,375 --> 00:00:33,744
Adolfo of Venice is actually
Alan Carpman of Bakersfield.

16
00:00:33,907 --> 00:00:36,074
We started as hairdressers together,

17
00:00:36,142 --> 00:00:38,409
but he stole my hair dye formula.

18
00:00:38,878 --> 00:00:40,778
For a family of generally lovely people,

19
00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:42,346
we sure have a lot of rivals.

20
00:00:42,415 --> 00:00:44,782
You know what, it's been fun,
but it's time to go.

21
00:00:44,817 --> 00:00:47,351
You haven't even opened the
candle that Cam and I got you.

22
00:00:47,453 --> 00:00:48,953
And don't we get a tour of the building?

23
00:00:49,055 --> 00:00:50,254
This place has everything.

24
00:00:50,323 --> 00:00:53,357
Um, an archery range, a shark tank, a...

25
00:00:53,867 --> 00:00:55,236
a Westworld?

26
00:00:55,261 --> 00:00:57,438
Sorry, I've got a huge project due.

27
00:00:57,463 --> 00:00:58,962
We can always just explore on our own.

28
00:00:59,064 --> 00:01:00,731
Actually, you can't.

29
00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:02,900
There's a strict
"no unaccompanied guests" policy.

30
00:01:02,968 --> 00:01:04,902
I violate that, they kick me out.

31
00:01:04,970 --> 00:01:06,303
I'll have the valet fetch your cars.

32
00:01:06,421 --> 00:01:07,857
Oh, you can do that from here?

33
00:01:07,882 --> 00:01:09,264
Yeah, everything's automated.

34
00:01:09,289 --> 00:01:10,888
You just need a resident ID code.

35
00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:28,779
credits

36
00:01:29,304 --> 00:01:30,620
- Bye, Phil.
- Bye.

37
00:01:30,722 --> 00:01:32,255
All right, well, I parked on the street,

38
00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:33,427
so I'll just meet you at home.

39
00:01:33,452 --> 00:01:35,168
- Bye, Claire.
- I need to run to the mall.

40
00:01:35,193 --> 00:01:37,193
Would you pick up some steaks from
the farmers market for tonight?

41
00:01:37,295 --> 00:01:38,628
Oh, so you did remember it's date night.

42
00:01:38,697 --> 00:01:40,663
I was a little worried after your
response to my Paperless Post.

43
00:01:40,766 --> 00:01:41,865
Oh, come on.

44
00:01:41,933 --> 00:01:43,967
You know my maybes always
turn into will attends.

45
00:01:44,035 --> 00:01:45,101
Okay.

46
00:01:45,103 --> 00:01:46,302
Aww.

47
00:01:46,415 --> 00:01:47,948
When was the last time that you and I

48
00:01:47,973 --> 00:01:50,360
cooked a romantic dinner together?

49
00:01:50,385 --> 00:01:51,685
We did it last week.

50
00:01:51,710 --> 00:01:56,355
I'm not talking about sprinkling
hot dog slices on a DiGiorno's.

51
00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:01,751
You couldn't bring my car
before I got in trouble?

52
00:02:07,075 --> 00:02:08,541
Thank you.

53
00:02:11,356 --> 00:02:13,923
I've been secretly moonlighting
as an online food blogger,

54
00:02:13,948 --> 00:02:15,214
"Foodie in a Hoodie"...

55
00:02:15,316 --> 00:02:16,883
it rhymes on the page.

56
00:02:16,951 --> 00:02:19,362
I've quickly developed a huge following,

57
00:02:19,387 --> 00:02:21,954
and The Prescott is home to
the city's hottest restaurant,

58
00:02:22,057 --> 00:02:23,089
called Pardon.

59
00:02:23,091 --> 00:02:24,190
Hello.

60
00:02:24,192 --> 00:02:25,491
Ah, good day, sir.

61
00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:27,129
Forgive me. I'm new here.

62
00:02:27,154 --> 00:02:28,711
Still getting to know
each of the tenants.

63
00:02:28,736 --> 00:02:30,235
I'm your concierge, Higgins.

64
00:02:30,415 --> 00:02:32,515
You look so familiar. Have we met?

65
00:02:32,617 --> 00:02:33,783
'Fraid not, no.

66
00:02:33,885 --> 00:02:35,084
I do get that a lot, though.

67
00:02:35,109 --> 00:02:37,576
I have an everyman face and body.

68
00:02:40,591 --> 00:02:41,991
They're rising.

69
00:02:42,016 --> 00:02:43,582
Ah, yes, Finley.

70
00:02:43,761 --> 00:02:45,261
Patrols the building for non-residents

71
00:02:45,363 --> 00:02:47,480
using a motion sensor and face scanner.

72
00:02:47,505 --> 00:02:50,660
Useful, yes, but does he have
that uniquely human ability

73
00:02:50,761 --> 00:02:53,006
to anticipate a person's every need?

74
00:02:53,071 --> 00:02:54,170
Coconut water?

75
00:02:54,172 --> 00:02:56,539
I didn't even know I wanted this!

76
00:02:56,564 --> 00:02:57,786
Finley, away!

77
00:02:58,223 --> 00:02:59,556
Anything else I can help you with, sir?

78
00:02:59,710 --> 00:03:01,010
Uh... no.

79
00:03:01,112 --> 00:03:03,145
I'm just headed down to the restaurant.

80
00:03:03,170 --> 00:03:04,236
Pardon?

81
00:03:04,415 --> 00:03:06,048
Your... in-house eatery.

82
00:03:06,150 --> 00:03:07,183
Pardon?

83
00:03:07,285 --> 00:03:10,519
You know...
uh, waiters, cutlery, daily specials.

84
00:03:10,544 --> 00:03:11,957
I think it's called Pardon.

85
00:03:11,982 --> 00:03:13,566
Of course. My mistake. It's all right.

86
00:03:13,591 --> 00:03:14,363
Right this way.

87
00:03:14,388 --> 00:03:16,410
Avoiding the security
robot would be tricky,

88
00:03:16,435 --> 00:03:17,832
but Finley had a weakness...

89
00:03:17,857 --> 00:03:19,590
he can only detect
people if they're moving.

90
00:03:19,674 --> 00:03:20,906
And it was worth the risk...

91
00:03:20,931 --> 00:03:22,902
Pardon claimed to have the
world's best beef slider,

92
00:03:22,927 --> 00:03:25,093
and my... my followers
are dying for a review.

93
00:03:25,369 --> 00:03:26,969
Well, all but one.

94
00:03:26,994 --> 00:03:28,761
I have a troll.

95
00:03:28,906 --> 00:03:32,408
Screen name "Close to Utlaw,"
wherever that is.

96
00:03:32,443 --> 00:03:34,877
We recently got into a...
a heated comment war.

97
00:03:34,946 --> 00:03:38,414
Insults were hurled, mothers disparaged.

98
00:03:38,740 --> 00:03:40,673
Who knew the Internet
could be so negative?

99
00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:43,085
Table for one. I live here.

100
00:03:43,154 --> 00:03:44,286
Something just opened up.

101
00:03:44,321 --> 00:03:46,855
Great, lead the way. I live here.

102
00:03:52,140 --> 00:03:53,406
Hi. Uh, I'm new here.

103
00:03:53,431 --> 00:03:55,504
Could you lead me to the screening room?

104
00:03:55,664 --> 00:03:56,696
I should think so.

105
00:03:56,721 --> 00:03:59,288
At the butler academy,
I led my class in leading.

106
00:03:59,703 --> 00:04:00,735
This way.

107
00:04:00,771 --> 00:04:02,871
Recently,
I got a special edition Blu-ray

108
00:04:02,973 --> 00:04:06,107
of the best movie ever made,
"Lawrence of Arabia."

109
00:04:06,209 --> 00:04:07,509
Word is, The Prescott has

110
00:04:07,611 --> 00:04:10,578
a state-of-the-art screening
room with surround sound.

111
00:04:10,681 --> 00:04:11,980
Know what it doesn't have?

112
00:04:12,049 --> 00:04:13,148
Manny.

113
00:04:13,250 --> 00:04:15,579
Hello! I would've gone
with a tracking shot there.

114
00:04:17,220 --> 00:04:19,587
I sure hope he finds a plot
out there in that desert.

115
00:04:21,458 --> 00:04:23,725
Behold, our famous candy wall.

116
00:04:23,827 --> 00:04:25,827
Hey, Sugar Babies.

117
00:04:25,929 --> 00:04:27,529
- Yes, honey buns?
- No, Sugar Babies.

118
00:04:27,597 --> 00:04:29,698
The greatest movie candy of all time.

119
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:30,899
A thousand apologies.

120
00:04:31,001 --> 00:04:32,600
I will track some down
for you straight away.

121
00:04:32,703 --> 00:04:34,269
- You wouldn't mind?
- Mind? Please.

122
00:04:34,371 --> 00:04:35,470
There is no greater joy

123
00:04:35,572 --> 00:04:37,405
than fetching something
I've never heard of

124
00:04:37,507 --> 00:04:39,207
for someone I've only just met.

125
00:04:42,779 --> 00:04:43,878
May I help you with something?

126
00:04:43,981 --> 00:04:46,381
Oh. Uh, no, I'm just...
I'm waiting for someone.

127
00:04:46,483 --> 00:04:49,017
And his name is David Beckham.

128
00:04:49,119 --> 00:04:50,719
Resident at The Prescott.

129
00:04:50,821 --> 00:04:51,953
Okay, Mitchell hates it when I do this,

130
00:04:52,022 --> 00:04:53,488
but every time I meet a celebrity,

131
00:04:53,590 --> 00:04:55,657
I ask them to record
my outgoing message.

132
00:04:55,726 --> 00:04:58,226
My current one is from when
I saw Snoop Dogg at a bank.

133
00:04:58,328 --> 00:05:00,495
Sorry I missed you. As you can see...

134
00:05:00,597 --> 00:05:01,629
I'm busy!

135
00:05:01,732 --> 00:05:02,764
And sometimes things can...

136
00:05:02,866 --> 00:05:04,199
Get away from me!

137
00:05:04,267 --> 00:05:06,101
Please leave a message,
including your phone number,

138
00:05:06,203 --> 00:05:07,769
- just for...
- Security!

139
00:05:09,139 --> 00:05:11,206
Hey, sweetie, what's up?
I'm... I'm kind of busy.

140
00:05:11,308 --> 00:05:12,774
Cam, I'm hurt. It's my leg.

141
00:05:12,876 --> 00:05:15,076
- What?
- I slipped in the food court,

142
00:05:15,145 --> 00:05:17,545
and I'm all sticky and
tweens are laughing at me.

143
00:05:17,647 --> 00:05:18,780
You have to come pick me up.

144
00:05:18,849 --> 00:05:20,179
Well, that sounds awful, but..

145
00:05:20,917 --> 00:05:22,751
Isn't... Isn't Claire closer?

146
00:05:22,853 --> 00:05:24,753
Well, you're at the farmers
market right down the street.

147
00:05:24,855 --> 00:05:26,354
Okay, fine. I'm on my way.

148
00:05:27,891 --> 00:05:29,491
Aww, you're the best.

149
00:05:29,593 --> 00:05:31,459
I was not gonna let Cam ruin my chance

150
00:05:31,495 --> 00:05:35,530
to thank my wallpaper,
Victoria Beckham, one-on-one.

151
00:05:35,599 --> 00:05:37,132
Okay, so, it was 1997.

152
00:05:37,234 --> 00:05:38,299
I was in Detroit

153
00:05:38,402 --> 00:05:40,635
for a Spice Girls concert
with my girlfriend.

154
00:05:40,637 --> 00:05:42,503
I was going to propose to her,

155
00:05:42,572 --> 00:05:44,539
had the ring in my
pocket and everything,

156
00:05:44,641 --> 00:05:47,942
when from the stage,
Posh looked right at me and said,

157
00:05:47,977 --> 00:05:50,478
"Be true to yourself, Mitchell!"

158
00:05:51,147 --> 00:05:52,557
Okay, you know,
she might've said "Michigan,"

159
00:05:52,582 --> 00:05:54,682
but she was looking right at me!

160
00:05:54,750 --> 00:05:57,685
She inspired me to come out that night.

161
00:05:57,753 --> 00:05:59,954
I had that diamond reset
as an anklet charm,

162
00:06:00,022 --> 00:06:01,149
and I was off to the races.

163
00:06:01,691 --> 00:06:03,791
What kind of gym bag is that, anyway?

164
00:06:03,893 --> 00:06:06,560
It's a satchel, you ignorant sneeze.

165
00:06:06,662 --> 00:06:08,963
You have been so unpleasant lately.

166
00:06:09,031 --> 00:06:10,531
On a definitely related note,

167
00:06:10,633 --> 00:06:12,900
Manny hasn't gotten
any action in months.

168
00:06:12,969 --> 00:06:15,669
Well, other than whatever
gave him carpal tunnel.

169
00:06:16,038 --> 00:06:19,172
Luckily, The Prescott has an
'80s aerobi-cise class,

170
00:06:19,241 --> 00:06:22,142
which will be full of
single older ladies.

171
00:06:22,211 --> 00:06:24,077
Women hit a sweet spot right after 40

172
00:06:24,146 --> 00:06:25,379
where they still look great

173
00:06:25,447 --> 00:06:27,180
but their standards have lowered.

174
00:06:30,152 --> 00:06:31,785
You're in pretty good
shape for someone who's...

175
00:06:31,887 --> 00:06:33,186
42? 43?

176
00:06:33,288 --> 00:06:34,788
I'm 38.

177
00:06:34,856 --> 00:06:36,456
Bye.

178
00:06:37,426 --> 00:06:38,858
Higgins.

179
00:06:38,927 --> 00:06:40,427
Oh, Mr. Beckham. Apologies.

180
00:06:40,495 --> 00:06:41,861
Blind as a bat without these bad boys.

181
00:06:41,930 --> 00:06:45,398
So, myself and Courteney are
expecting a bowling instructor.

182
00:06:45,467 --> 00:06:48,401
Would you have him meet us downstairs
at the bowling alley, please?

183
00:06:48,420 --> 00:06:49,485
You and Ms. Cox getting an edge

184
00:06:49,587 --> 00:06:50,853
for this weekend's
celebrity bowl-a-thon?

185
00:06:50,955 --> 00:06:52,021
Oh, we'll need it.

186
00:06:52,090 --> 00:06:53,856
You should've seen the
way he bowled last year.

187
00:06:53,925 --> 00:06:56,059
I mean,
it is to raise money for charity.

188
00:06:56,127 --> 00:06:59,095
Yeah, a dollar for each of the
18 pins that you knocked down.

189
00:06:59,782 --> 00:07:01,130
Thanks to you, Doctors Without Borders

190
00:07:01,199 --> 00:07:03,132
are now Doctors Without Malaria Pills.

191
00:07:03,234 --> 00:07:04,434
A bit harsh.

192
00:07:12,944 --> 00:07:14,643
Did you see the two friends in the back?

193
00:07:14,712 --> 00:07:16,579
The blond one liked me,
and the brunette kept staring at you.

194
00:07:16,681 --> 00:07:17,690
Can you blame her?

195
00:07:17,748 --> 00:07:20,049
No one moves to
"Caribbean Queen" like me.

196
00:07:21,052 --> 00:07:23,586
Ah, just who I was told
to be on the lookout for.

197
00:07:24,054 --> 00:07:26,421
A certain couple have asked that
you meet them in the bowling alley.

198
00:07:26,490 --> 00:07:27,956
Was it a blonde and a brunette?

199
00:07:27,992 --> 00:07:30,726
Indeed, and they seemed
eager to get rolling.

200
00:07:31,662 --> 00:07:32,761
Bowling alley?

201
00:07:32,863 --> 00:07:34,162
These girls are freaky.

202
00:07:35,791 --> 00:07:36,798
Hair salon?

203
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,800
- Just off the courtyard to your right.
- Thank you.

204
00:07:38,902 --> 00:07:40,635
I've always wanted to dye my hair dark.

205
00:07:40,704 --> 00:07:42,737
But there's only one colorist
I would trust to do it...

206
00:07:42,806 --> 00:07:44,940
Adolfo of Venice.

207
00:07:45,042 --> 00:07:46,374
Gloria's sworn enemy.

208
00:07:46,443 --> 00:07:48,944
I just have to sneak back in
and do it without her knowing.

209
00:07:49,558 --> 00:07:50,612
Oh!

210
00:08:01,891 --> 00:08:02,924
Hi, Mom.

211
00:08:02,992 --> 00:08:04,459
Hi, Alex. Hey, honey.

212
00:08:04,527 --> 00:08:06,027
So, how's the project going?

213
00:08:06,096 --> 00:08:08,096
I'm never gonna make this deadline.

214
00:08:08,131 --> 00:08:10,131
Oh, yeah, no, that...
that... that's tough...

215
00:08:10,233 --> 00:08:11,931
I'm sorry... sorry to hear that.

216
00:08:11,966 --> 00:08:13,301
Work is so stressful.

217
00:08:13,369 --> 00:08:14,869
- I'm glad you called, I'm actually...
- Yeah, got to go, love you! Bye!

218
00:08:16,779 --> 00:08:18,539
The pool? Just hop on the elevator

219
00:08:18,608 --> 00:08:21,141
and press the big button marked "pool."

220
00:08:21,260 --> 00:08:24,661
I am known as the fearless
one of the family.

221
00:08:24,764 --> 00:08:26,497
So, when Claire gave us all free passes

222
00:08:26,599 --> 00:08:29,032
for the Fun Town Water Park next week,

223
00:08:29,068 --> 00:08:32,102
I couldn't admit that
I am afraid of slides.

224
00:08:32,204 --> 00:08:35,973
They go so fast,
I feel like I'm going to fly off.

225
00:08:36,075 --> 00:08:39,943
I just need to try it once
and I am going to be fine.

226
00:08:40,045 --> 00:08:42,279
I cannot do it!

227
00:08:42,381 --> 00:08:43,480
Hey, no backsies!

228
00:08:45,951 --> 00:08:48,452
Okay, here I go!

229
00:08:52,124 --> 00:08:54,758
You should have let me do backsies!

230
00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:59,203
Resident ID access... hair salon.

231
00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:01,344
What? Who's using my code?!

232
00:09:03,681 --> 00:09:06,077
You a-look like
that a-actress...

233
00:09:06,095 --> 00:09:08,829
Audrey Hepburn.

234
00:09:14,070 --> 00:09:15,969
This is Phil Dunphy. Leave a message.

235
00:09:16,239 --> 00:09:18,706
Phil, I have a little
surprise for you later.

236
00:09:18,775 --> 00:09:22,009
Let's just say I know how
much you love brunettes.

237
00:09:22,411 --> 00:09:24,278
- Here's a menu for you.
- Thank you.

238
00:09:25,414 --> 00:09:28,649
And for my followers...

239
00:09:28,718 --> 00:09:30,184
an Instagram tease.

240
00:09:33,288 --> 00:09:34,621
Your Sugar Babies, sir.

241
00:09:34,690 --> 00:09:36,089
I hope it wasn't too much trouble.

242
00:09:36,125 --> 00:09:37,457
On the contrary.

243
00:09:37,559 --> 00:09:39,192
There was a Mexican birthday celebration

244
00:09:39,261 --> 00:09:41,161
taking place in the
park across the street.

245
00:09:41,230 --> 00:09:42,929
I waited for the crack of the piņata,

246
00:09:42,998 --> 00:09:44,731
mixed in seamlessly with the children,

247
00:09:44,833 --> 00:09:46,400
and pounced.

248
00:09:51,923 --> 00:09:53,156
He's here?!

249
00:09:53,258 --> 00:09:54,991
Some moron food blogger took a shot

250
00:09:55,093 --> 00:09:56,292
at one of my favorite spots.

251
00:09:56,361 --> 00:09:59,262
So I go after him using my screen name,
"Closet Outlaw."

252
00:09:59,331 --> 00:10:02,966
It escalates, and he turns his
army of followers against me.

253
00:10:03,034 --> 00:10:04,901
As I wrote in my last comment...

254
00:10:04,936 --> 00:10:07,870
"Let's see how well my
fist pairs with your face."

255
00:10:10,374 --> 00:10:11,640
The bowling alley?!

256
00:10:14,846 --> 00:10:15,878
Alex is here?!

257
00:10:15,947 --> 00:10:17,847
If she sees us, she'll throw us out.

258
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,066
Excuse me.

259
00:10:21,936 --> 00:10:23,602
If that blonde and brunette come by,

260
00:10:23,671 --> 00:10:25,270
could you tell them
there's a new meet-up spot?

261
00:10:25,339 --> 00:10:26,838
The hot tubs on the rooftop.

262
00:10:26,907 --> 00:10:29,208
Of course, warm things up a bit
before your workout.

263
00:10:29,243 --> 00:10:30,375
If there's nothing else,
I need to make sure

264
00:10:30,444 --> 00:10:32,711
these balls are marked
with their correct weights.

265
00:10:39,319 --> 00:10:41,386
Hi. Size 10 for him

266
00:10:41,454 --> 00:10:43,788
and anything with a steel toe for me.

267
00:10:43,890 --> 00:10:45,023
Someone drops his ball a lot.

268
00:10:45,091 --> 00:10:46,224
There has been a change of plan.

269
00:10:46,293 --> 00:10:47,692
Your bowling instructor would
now like you to meet him

270
00:10:47,761 --> 00:10:49,794
in the hot tubs for a warmup first.

271
00:10:49,863 --> 00:10:51,095
- Meet you up there?
- Yep.

272
00:10:51,838 --> 00:10:53,698
If you're calling the
charity for a new partner,

273
00:10:53,767 --> 00:10:54,772
it's not gonna work.

274
00:10:54,801 --> 00:10:56,301
They already made the posters.

275
00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:58,403
- Ready to order?
- Very.

276
00:10:58,438 --> 00:11:01,272
I came to this restaurant for
one thing and one thing only.

277
00:11:08,014 --> 00:11:09,513
And that thing is...?

278
00:11:09,582 --> 00:11:11,081
Sorry. Uh, one of your world fa...

279
00:11:13,786 --> 00:11:15,386
One of our world's fattest
hot dogs coming up.

280
00:11:15,488 --> 00:11:17,421
No! The... The slider.

281
00:11:17,490 --> 00:11:18,555
And how would you like it?

282
00:11:18,558 --> 00:11:19,644
Me...

283
00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:23,160
- Yes, you, sir.
- ...dium rare.

284
00:11:23,229 --> 00:11:25,428
And can you have it delivered
to the pool, please?

285
00:11:25,431 --> 00:11:26,497
Of course.

286
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:30,310
Okay, that slider goes to the pool,

287
00:11:30,335 --> 00:11:32,569
and it looks like we need one
for Mr. Beckham to the roof.

288
00:11:32,671 --> 00:11:34,337
You seen a guy in a black hoodie?

289
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:35,449
- Just left.
- Thanks.

290
00:11:35,507 --> 00:11:36,640
Oh, I'll be back.

291
00:11:36,708 --> 00:11:39,242
I'm dying to try one of your
world's fattest hot dogs.

292
00:11:46,885 --> 00:11:48,552
Hey, you here at the mall?

293
00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:51,020
No, not yet.
Why are you breathing so hard?

294
00:11:51,089 --> 00:11:53,223
Oh, um, a bunch of kids
were vaping next to me,

295
00:11:53,291 --> 00:11:55,725
and I had to army-crawl
into a-a candle store.

296
00:11:55,794 --> 00:11:57,427
Yeah. Is there anything
you want while I'm here?

297
00:11:57,496 --> 00:12:00,029
Can I tell you what I want,
what I really, really want?

298
00:12:00,131 --> 00:12:01,965
You're watching me right now,
aren't you?

299
00:12:02,067 --> 00:12:04,400
Oh... Cam, okay, look.

300
00:12:04,469 --> 00:12:06,135
I was hoping I'd run into Posh

301
00:12:06,204 --> 00:12:08,504
here at the gym
for a private moment, okay?

302
00:12:08,573 --> 00:12:10,139
Look, we're both after the Beckhams.

303
00:12:10,241 --> 00:12:11,908
Let's come up with a plan together...

304
00:12:11,976 --> 00:12:13,009
Meet me at the swim-up bar.

305
00:12:13,077 --> 00:12:14,510
There's a swim-up bar?!

306
00:12:14,579 --> 00:12:16,112
I know, we should be living here

307
00:12:16,180 --> 00:12:17,847
and Alex should be living
in our stupid house.

308
00:12:24,405 --> 00:12:25,471
Hey!

309
00:12:30,911 --> 00:12:32,578
Higgins, I need you!

310
00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:33,745
Where are you?!

311
00:12:36,217 --> 00:12:37,950
A spot of bother, I see?

312
00:12:38,052 --> 00:12:39,151
I can't do it!

313
00:12:39,253 --> 00:12:41,286
Oh, of course you can.
I'll just crawl in front of you

314
00:12:41,388 --> 00:12:43,021
so you can grab me around the waist.

315
00:12:43,590 --> 00:12:45,390
I apologize in advance for any giggling.

316
00:12:45,492 --> 00:12:47,225
I'm cursed with the tickle gene.

317
00:12:47,327 --> 00:12:48,793
What's going on?

318
00:12:48,895 --> 00:12:50,662
Someone's stuck on the slide.

319
00:12:50,731 --> 00:12:52,197
She tried to climb back down, but...

320
00:12:52,299 --> 00:12:54,165
- No backsies, I get it.
- Yeah.

321
00:12:54,267 --> 00:12:55,600
Oh, oh, oh! That's for me.

322
00:12:55,669 --> 00:12:57,369
Thank you.

323
00:12:57,787 --> 00:12:59,554
- But it goes too fast!
- Oh, no, don't worry.

324
00:12:59,656 --> 00:13:01,856
I shall vary the flex of my
buttocks to control our speed.

325
00:13:01,925 --> 00:13:03,042
We should be...

326
00:13:03,226 --> 00:13:04,321
No!

327
00:13:05,028 --> 00:13:07,695
My deepest apologies!

328
00:13:10,266 --> 00:13:12,734
Oh, no!

329
00:13:13,636 --> 00:13:14,801
Okay.

330
00:13:20,109 --> 00:13:22,709
Noooo!!

331
00:13:23,812 --> 00:13:24,878
That one's sorted.

332
00:13:29,151 --> 00:13:32,152
I need some sparkling water
sent up to the hot tub cabanas.

333
00:13:32,221 --> 00:13:34,855
Can't say for whom,
but let's include a glass of champagne

334
00:13:34,924 --> 00:13:37,691
in case his posh wife joins him.

335
00:13:42,298 --> 00:13:44,798
Easy.

336
00:13:45,035 --> 00:13:46,306
Easy.

337
00:13:46,969 --> 00:13:49,336
Come on!

338
00:13:49,405 --> 00:13:50,637
Higgins! Hey, hey.

339
00:13:50,706 --> 00:13:52,105
Um, listen...

340
00:13:52,658 --> 00:13:55,325
I need your help getting
my hands on the slider.

341
00:13:55,427 --> 00:13:56,760
The slider?

342
00:13:56,828 --> 00:13:58,028
Oh, of course.

343
00:13:58,096 --> 00:13:59,195
Quite a looker, that one.

344
00:13:59,197 --> 00:14:00,463
Well, that's the problem... so far,

345
00:14:00,565 --> 00:14:02,198
I've only been able
to look and not taste.

346
00:14:03,135 --> 00:14:05,735
Say no more. I shall find a way
to deliver the slider to you.

347
00:14:05,804 --> 00:14:09,539
Great! Um, is there somewhere private
where I could enjoy the slider alone?

348
00:14:10,008 --> 00:14:11,774
Might I suggest one of
our rooftop hot tubs

349
00:14:11,843 --> 00:14:12,909
overlooking the city?

350
00:14:13,011 --> 00:14:14,110
Perfect, I'll wait there.

351
00:14:14,179 --> 00:14:16,379
And I'll... I'll need a bib...
I can make a mess.

352
00:14:24,956 --> 00:14:27,290
Still crisp.

353
00:14:27,358 --> 00:14:28,491
He's close.

354
00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:35,497
How'd I get back here?

355
00:14:42,406 --> 00:14:43,605
Ah, Posh.

356
00:14:43,707 --> 00:14:44,973
Thank you.

357
00:14:45,042 --> 00:14:46,308
Your husband has asked that you meet him

358
00:14:46,377 --> 00:14:48,810
up in one of the rooftop
hot tubs for some champagne.

359
00:14:48,913 --> 00:14:50,412
Phil.

360
00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:55,350
Hi.

361
00:15:00,324 --> 00:15:02,724
Higgins! The slides aren't the enemy.

362
00:15:03,073 --> 00:15:04,306
Fear is.

363
00:15:04,331 --> 00:15:06,698
It's always a thrill to see
one of my residents grow.

364
00:15:07,063 --> 00:15:08,830
By the way, a certain mystery man

365
00:15:08,899 --> 00:15:10,064
has spotted you around the building

366
00:15:10,167 --> 00:15:12,133
and has requested your
presence on the roof.

367
00:15:12,670 --> 00:15:15,616
Jay's finally doing something romantic!

368
00:15:15,927 --> 00:15:18,694
Just when I thought he
was a clueless grouch.

369
00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:25,370
How many lobbies does this place have?!

370
00:15:28,336 --> 00:15:30,736
Excuse me.
Where can I find a bathing suit?

371
00:15:30,805 --> 00:15:32,605
Oh, there are complimentary
suits in all of the cabanas.

372
00:15:32,751 --> 00:15:35,518
- Ooh.
- Worry not, I boil them myself nightly.

373
00:15:35,543 --> 00:15:36,609
Ah.

374
00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:37,944
Let's see a robot do that.

375
00:15:38,012 --> 00:15:41,413
Hi, Higgins.
We have a bit of an unusual request.

376
00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:43,115
Now, we know you need
to be discreet, but...

377
00:15:43,184 --> 00:15:45,084
we are hoping to have a rendezvous

378
00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:47,453
- with a certain distinguished Brit.
- Hmm?

379
00:15:47,522 --> 00:15:48,554
Consider it arranged.

380
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,790
- Okay.
- Okay.

381
00:15:56,563 --> 00:15:57,763
Still no sign of the ladies.

382
00:15:57,865 --> 00:15:59,564
Maybe they're in a different cabana.

383
00:16:02,202 --> 00:16:03,208
Mine's here.

384
00:16:03,237 --> 00:16:04,302
Let's wait for the blonde.

385
00:16:04,371 --> 00:16:06,071
I only know how to do
this with even numbers.

386
00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:08,423
Hello, Mr. Robot!

387
00:16:08,525 --> 00:16:11,392
Can you tell me where to go
for my romantic surprise?

388
00:16:11,494 --> 00:16:12,560
Gloria?!

389
00:16:19,903 --> 00:16:21,336
Now mine's here, but yours is gone.

390
00:16:26,242 --> 00:16:27,275
Now they're both gone!

391
00:16:27,377 --> 00:16:28,409
They'll be back.

392
00:16:28,478 --> 00:16:30,011
Maybe one of them had a nanny emergency.

393
00:16:30,046 --> 00:16:31,512
Let's wait for them in there.

394
00:16:32,670 --> 00:16:34,315
- Slider?
- Arriving shortly. Cabana 3.

395
00:16:34,417 --> 00:16:35,750
Thank you.

396
00:16:37,353 --> 00:16:38,519
Here we are, then.

397
00:16:42,024 --> 00:16:43,457
Higgins, what are you doing?!

398
00:16:43,559 --> 00:16:44,959
Oh, role play.

399
00:16:45,619 --> 00:16:47,761
I know I am but a lowly stable boy,

400
00:16:47,863 --> 00:16:50,230
unwanted in the master's quarters,
but...

401
00:16:50,299 --> 00:16:53,200
perhaps you'd like to teach me a lesson?

402
00:16:53,268 --> 00:16:54,568
Just stay away from the face.

403
00:16:54,670 --> 00:16:56,837
Uh, obviously there's been
some sort of misunderstanding.

404
00:16:56,939 --> 00:16:58,738
Yeah, do we look like the kind of people

405
00:16:58,807 --> 00:17:00,740
that would be into some
sort of weird role play

406
00:17:00,843 --> 00:17:02,542
involving a stable boy?

407
00:17:02,611 --> 00:17:03,910
I'm assuming he's been naughty

408
00:17:03,979 --> 00:17:06,246
and would do anything to keep his job.

409
00:17:06,315 --> 00:17:07,514
Cam... Cam?

410
00:17:07,583 --> 00:17:09,816
In my defense,
I do get this request quite often.

411
00:17:09,885 --> 00:17:11,218
Particularly around the holidays.

412
00:17:11,286 --> 00:17:12,819
Actually, um...

413
00:17:12,888 --> 00:17:15,956
we were hoping to meet a
certain celebrity couple.

414
00:17:16,058 --> 00:17:17,657
- Yeah.
- Say no more.

415
00:17:17,726 --> 00:17:19,225
I make no promises, but let me just

416
00:17:19,294 --> 00:17:21,861
wriggle back into my shorts
and make some inquiries.

417
00:17:28,853 --> 00:17:30,419
Ah, wonderful timing!

418
00:17:30,488 --> 00:17:33,155
Please step into Cabana 3...
your mystery man awaits.

419
00:17:37,218 --> 00:17:38,227
Hi.

420
00:17:38,296 --> 00:17:41,097
I know that you and I
aren't supposed to be here,

421
00:17:41,199 --> 00:17:45,968
but after today,
I am tired of living a life of fear.

422
00:17:46,070 --> 00:17:49,638
Was Gloria Claire's brunette surprise?

423
00:17:49,707 --> 00:17:54,576
It all started when Claire gave
me a free pass to Fun Town.

424
00:17:54,678 --> 00:17:58,013
I thought, just try it today.

425
00:17:58,707 --> 00:18:02,851
Take a ride, see how it feels.

426
00:18:02,886 --> 00:18:06,287
Oh. I never noticed
how sexy your feet are.

427
00:18:06,390 --> 00:18:09,224
Thank you,
but this isn't happening, Gloria!

428
00:18:11,828 --> 00:18:14,129
Oh, there you are. Sorry
we missed you at the bowling alley.

429
00:18:14,697 --> 00:18:16,764
She looked different with a headband on.

430
00:18:16,833 --> 00:18:18,799
Warming up in a hot tub first...

431
00:18:18,835 --> 00:18:21,836
Unconventional, but, hey,
anything to loosen up Becks.

432
00:18:21,938 --> 00:18:23,104
Did we meet a Becky?

433
00:18:23,206 --> 00:18:25,439
Maybe. There were so many of them.

434
00:18:25,542 --> 00:18:27,775
So, how old is this Becks?

435
00:18:27,844 --> 00:18:28,943
44.

436
00:18:28,945 --> 00:18:30,010
It's on.

437
00:18:30,465 --> 00:18:32,146
Oh, there you are.

438
00:18:34,884 --> 00:18:37,151
Wait... you're Becks?

439
00:18:38,221 --> 00:18:39,820
Yep, and I'm eager to learn.

440
00:18:39,889 --> 00:18:43,691
A warning... my form is clumsy,
but I'm great on my feet.

441
00:18:48,181 --> 00:18:49,864
Okay, who gets the dude?

442
00:18:50,566 --> 00:18:52,199
This never happened.

443
00:18:55,604 --> 00:18:57,104
Fine, I'll take him.

444
00:18:57,173 --> 00:18:59,273
But we're just gonna hang
out and see where it goes.

445
00:19:02,711 --> 00:19:03,810
Mmm!

446
00:19:09,918 --> 00:19:11,051
Pardon the interruption.

447
00:19:11,119 --> 00:19:12,686
It looks like you're
finished with the slider?

448
00:19:12,754 --> 00:19:15,021
I am, and can I be honest?
I prefer bigger buns.

449
00:19:15,090 --> 00:19:17,457
It's wonderful to just talk
like men sometimes, isn't it?

450
00:19:17,559 --> 00:19:18,625
It is.

451
00:19:22,664 --> 00:19:23,930
Jay, what are you doing here?

452
00:19:23,965 --> 00:19:26,266
I've spent the whole day
looking for that miserable...

453
00:19:29,070 --> 00:19:30,503
You're the Foodie in a Who-dy?!

454
00:19:30,605 --> 00:19:32,271
W-Why would you say that?

455
00:19:34,141 --> 00:19:35,341
Ketchup!

456
00:19:35,409 --> 00:19:37,009
I'm trying, but I'm lost!

457
00:19:37,078 --> 00:19:38,444
You insulted my mother!

458
00:19:38,512 --> 00:19:41,046
Oh, my God. You're Close to Utlaw?!

459
00:19:41,148 --> 00:19:42,514
It's Closet Outlaw!

460
00:19:42,617 --> 00:19:44,016
Jay, I don't blame you for being mad.

461
00:19:44,118 --> 00:19:46,852
I-I turned my legions of
fans against you, and, uh...

462
00:19:46,954 --> 00:19:48,520
It's Foodie in a Hoodie, by...
by the way.

463
00:19:48,589 --> 00:19:50,689
But you got a bigger problem at
home that I just heard about,

464
00:19:50,758 --> 00:19:52,091
and I think I can help you with it.

465
00:19:52,193 --> 00:19:53,959
- Claire?
- Oh! Gloria.

466
00:19:54,028 --> 00:19:55,527
I can't believe you recognized me.

467
00:19:55,630 --> 00:19:57,329
I'm so sorry about my hair.

468
00:19:57,476 --> 00:20:00,977
I'm so glad that we can
finally talk about it.

469
00:20:01,002 --> 00:20:04,036
Grow it out, let yourself be a girl.

470
00:20:04,564 --> 00:20:06,071
Okay, final set of instructions

471
00:20:06,173 --> 00:20:08,173
on a day that will no doubt
be a memorable chapter

472
00:20:08,275 --> 00:20:10,476
in my forthcoming memoir, "You Rang?"

473
00:20:10,578 --> 00:20:12,711
You, Cabana 2. You, Cabana 3.

474
00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:14,313
Oh.

475
00:20:16,550 --> 00:20:19,151
You are romantic.

476
00:20:20,321 --> 00:20:22,554
Honey, if you don't like my hair,
I can change it.

477
00:20:22,657 --> 00:20:23,922
What? I love it.

478
00:20:23,991 --> 00:20:25,424
Maybe next week I can arrange

479
00:20:25,526 --> 00:20:27,559
a little rendezvous with a redhead.

480
00:20:29,579 --> 00:20:31,217
O-Okay.

481
00:20:31,242 --> 00:20:32,842
I'm glad we cleared that up.

482
00:20:32,867 --> 00:20:34,900
I can't wait for my
bowling lesson with you.

483
00:20:35,002 --> 00:20:36,535
Oh, my God.

484
00:20:36,637 --> 00:20:38,103
Foot-y in a Hoodie was here today.

485
00:20:38,205 --> 00:20:40,539
Ah, you're great.

486
00:20:40,641 --> 00:20:41,807
When does Posh get here?

487
00:20:42,063 --> 00:20:43,696
And I apologize for being late.

488
00:20:43,721 --> 00:20:44,954
You know, I-I left a message.

489
00:20:44,979 --> 00:20:46,245
I'm sorry I missed your call.

490
00:20:46,347 --> 00:20:47,513
Can you say that one more time?

491
00:20:47,615 --> 00:20:48,881
Um...

492
00:20:50,134 --> 00:20:53,481
So, I got a few incidental
charges from yesterday.

493
00:20:53,940 --> 00:20:56,376
$200 for Sugar Baby procurements.

494
00:20:56,411 --> 00:20:59,903
- Sorry.
- Eight sliders and one coconut water?

495
00:21:00,005 --> 00:21:01,181
He charged me for that?

496
00:21:01,206 --> 00:21:03,506
$300 for a slide rescue.

497
00:21:03,686 --> 00:21:06,753
$40 fine for the non-wiping
of stationary bike.

498
00:21:06,778 --> 00:21:08,107
I barely sweat.

499
00:21:08,142 --> 00:21:09,145
You're sweating right now.

500
00:21:09,147 --> 00:21:12,682
A $150 fine for the
non-return of leg warmers.

501
00:21:12,799 --> 00:21:15,978
And eight $100 Westworld entry fees?

502
00:21:18,392 --> 00:21:20,056
Oh, my God. We left Cam there!

503
00:21:20,158 --> 00:21:21,625
Oh, no!

504
00:21:21,726 --> 00:21:27,257
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com