1
00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:05,000
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -

2
00:00:25,597 --> 00:00:27,597
_

3
00:00:37,637 --> 00:00:39,187
Oh, that was awesome!

4
00:00:39,188 --> 00:00:40,655
Everyone brought their A-game!

5
00:00:40,656 --> 00:00:43,726
I mean, Psycho, when you made
those T-Rex bones just come to life

6
00:00:43,727 --> 00:00:45,559
and then chase that guard... Mwah!

7
00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:47,413
Wait, did you just
steal King Tut's body?

8
00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:49,405
Ugh, I was going to see that on Sunday.

9
00:00:49,406 --> 00:00:51,218
See it? Now you can touch it.

10
00:00:52,254 --> 00:00:54,045
Yeah, but I've never
been, like, in a museum

11
00:00:54,046 --> 00:00:56,722
and thought, "Oh, I wish I
could touch this dead body".

12
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,249
Uh, well, someone must wanna

13
00:00:58,250 --> 00:00:59,578
'cause it was under heavy guard.

14
00:00:59,579 --> 00:01:03,063
And, we needed a new ottoman.

15
00:01:03,064 --> 00:01:04,230
We'll get used to it.

16
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:06,006
The news must be all over this.

17
00:01:06,007 --> 00:01:09,035
Let's see what they're sayin'
about us on Villainy.evil.

18
00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:10,604
Wait... What?

19
00:01:10,605 --> 00:01:13,417
KGBeast's getting nominated
for the Legion of Doom?

20
00:01:13,418 --> 00:01:14,933
I'm way better than him.

21
00:01:14,934 --> 00:01:17,176
People must be freaking
out in the comments.

22
00:01:17,177 --> 00:01:19,679
"This was long overdue. Yay".

23
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,947
"Worked with him on
three assassinations.

24
00:01:21,948 --> 00:01:23,250
So professional.

25
00:01:23,251 --> 00:01:24,983
Couldn't have happened to a better guy".

26
00:01:24,984 --> 00:01:26,352
Screw you, better guy.

27
00:01:26,353 --> 00:01:28,187
What the hell does it
take to get nominated?

28
00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:30,056
Ooh, look, here's one about you,

29
00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:32,426
"Why's no one talking
about Harley Quinn?

30
00:01:32,427 --> 00:01:35,194
I'd like to nominate
her to sit on my face".

31
00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:37,163
Okay, well, that... Mm.

32
00:01:37,164 --> 00:01:39,631
Should have read it through.

33
00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:45,639
Um, do you wanna just,
like, use your words?

34
00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:47,795
I've been busting my ass

35
00:01:47,796 --> 00:01:49,813
to get noticed by the Legion
for the last two months.

36
00:01:49,814 --> 00:01:51,244
I've done everything there is to do.

37
00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:52,578
You mean we've done?

38
00:01:52,579 --> 00:01:54,214
Yeah, I was using the royal "I".

39
00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:56,182
Sorry for the rant.
I'm, I'm, I'm fine now.

40
00:01:58,084 --> 00:02:00,920
Okay, now I'm fine.

41
00:02:00,921 --> 00:02:05,057
Hey, so, I can't help but notice
you're being extra Harley today.

42
00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:06,759
And I just, honestly,

43
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:09,136
I don't understand your
obsession with the Legion of Doom.

44
00:02:09,137 --> 00:02:11,798
I mean, those guys are
genuinely pieces of shit.

45
00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:13,483
Uh, yeah. Obviously.

46
00:02:13,484 --> 00:02:14,779
But those pieces of shit

47
00:02:14,780 --> 00:02:16,904
are the only people Joker
ever treated as equals.

48
00:02:16,905 --> 00:02:19,371
I'll never match up to him
unless I'm in the Legion, too.

49
00:02:19,372 --> 00:02:21,140
Okay, so, what you're saying is

50
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,543
you're not over your ex,
and you wanna throw

51
00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:25,202
- your success in his face.
- Exactly.

52
00:02:25,203 --> 00:02:27,680
Honestly, that might be the most
relatable thing you've ever said.

53
00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:29,549
All right, people, listen, I want ideas.

54
00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:31,889
Somethin' that's gonna get us
on the Legion of Doom's radar.

55
00:02:31,890 --> 00:02:34,518
I could call my old pal Hank Kissinger.

56
00:02:34,519 --> 00:02:37,140
I'm sure he has a few war
crimes he never pulled off.

57
00:02:37,141 --> 00:02:38,618
I know we're criminals,

58
00:02:38,619 --> 00:02:40,570
but are we really war criminals?

59
00:02:40,571 --> 00:02:42,332
No one thinks they're a war criminal,

60
00:02:42,333 --> 00:02:44,197
then you find yourself
aiding a separatist movement

61
00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:45,999
to overthrow a democratically
elected leader

62
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,200
and boom, you're a war criminal.

63
00:02:48,201 --> 00:02:50,097
Maybe we could steal some new computers

64
00:02:50,098 --> 00:02:52,271
'cause that one you smashed was mine.

65
00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:53,539
That's it. WayneTech.

66
00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:55,841
You wanna legally purchase computers?

67
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,075
I wasn't thinkin' legal,

68
00:02:57,076 --> 00:02:59,212
and I wasn't thinking computers.

69
00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:02,747
We're gonna rob Bruce Wayne.

70
00:03:09,691 --> 00:03:12,057
All right, this is
what we're going after.

71
00:03:12,058 --> 00:03:14,360
- It's beautiful.
- _

72
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:15,961
And on the 26th floor.

73
00:03:15,962 --> 00:03:17,563
Cool. How we gonna get it down?

74
00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:20,299
We'll Fast and Furious 7 it.

75
00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:22,301
Guys, that's the one
where they shoot a car

76
00:03:22,302 --> 00:03:24,844
from one skyscraper
into another skyscraper.

77
00:03:24,845 --> 00:03:27,139
But, you know, ultimately,
they're just all about family.

78
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:30,310
Clayface, activate "Operation Douche".

79
00:03:30,311 --> 00:03:33,075
Uh, sir, please, have
you seen my daughter?

80
00:03:33,076 --> 00:03:35,071
I mean well, technically,
I'm not her father.

81
00:03:35,072 --> 00:03:39,251
I mean, you see, the Lord hath
cursed me with empathy, it's...

82
00:03:39,252 --> 00:03:41,054
for my wife strayed.

83
00:03:41,055 --> 00:03:42,893
It's an emotionally complex tale,

84
00:03:42,894 --> 00:03:45,758
that, if you have two hours to spare,

85
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:48,461
I can burden you with my tale of woe.

86
00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:51,364
Harley, thank you for letting
me use my brains, for once.

87
00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:53,865
Most people don't let me be who I am.

88
00:03:55,302 --> 00:03:56,916
Ooh, okay, I see what
we're workin' with here.

89
00:03:56,917 --> 00:03:58,704
I can hack the first three doors,

90
00:03:58,705 --> 00:04:01,492
but the retinal scanner at the
entrance to the room is on you.

91
00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:04,144
24,

92
00:04:04,145 --> 00:04:05,178
25,

93
00:04:05,179 --> 00:04:06,812
26.

94
00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:08,881
Here we go.

95
00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:11,717
Oh, shit.

96
00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:14,501
Now why was she put down so gently?

97
00:04:14,502 --> 00:04:16,626
Um, because she's not a misogynist troll

98
00:04:16,627 --> 00:04:19,627
- that should be living in a well?
- Psycho, focus.

99
00:04:34,742 --> 00:04:37,060
It's even more beautiful in person.

100
00:04:37,061 --> 00:04:39,365
Listen, could you do your dumb
twisty twirls and get the bike,

101
00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:42,446
so we can get the hell out of here?

102
00:04:46,521 --> 00:04:48,722
Hello, what the hell are you doing?

103
00:04:48,723 --> 00:04:51,551
Stealing whatever's in here,
it's "even more restricted".

104
00:04:51,552 --> 00:04:53,082
Oh, perfect.

105
00:04:53,083 --> 00:04:54,738
"Even more restricted".

106
00:04:54,739 --> 00:04:56,091
You're the psycho.

107
00:04:56,092 --> 00:04:59,369
Mind you, that wasn't
the first time I was cuckolded...

108
00:05:00,767 --> 00:05:04,136
I called an audible. Let's
get the hell out of here.

109
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:16,816
My arm.

110
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,016
It's too late. We got to go.

111
00:05:18,017 --> 00:05:19,018
But my arm.

112
00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:20,587
You just called an audible.

113
00:05:20,588 --> 00:05:22,987
Can't we call another
one and get my limb?

114
00:05:22,988 --> 00:05:24,590
Can't you just grow a new one?

115
00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:26,325
And where the fuck is Psycho?

116
00:05:28,295 --> 00:05:29,595
Is that the...

117
00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:33,131
I am a golden god.

118
00:05:33,132 --> 00:05:34,200
Ah. Damn it.

119
00:05:35,605 --> 00:05:38,450
Fuckin' hell.

120
00:05:39,541 --> 00:05:41,907
Oh, you little bitch.

121
00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:43,676
Oh, don't you...

122
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:52,118
Jim, what's wrong?

123
00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:53,921
Ah... It's Barb.

124
00:05:53,922 --> 00:05:56,026
You know, she's sleeping
with someone else.

125
00:05:56,027 --> 00:05:57,668
And the worst part, I can't blame her.

126
00:05:57,669 --> 00:05:59,266
I mean, a woman can only go so long

127
00:05:59,267 --> 00:06:01,361
watching the dead eyes of
her lover thrust atop her,

128
00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:03,229
before she looks for something new.

129
00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:05,931
So, you didn't call me about the
break-in at Wayne Enterprises?

130
00:06:05,932 --> 00:06:07,167
What? No.

131
00:06:07,168 --> 00:06:09,301
Oh, this is about the
break-down of my marriage.

132
00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:11,304
The signal is for emergencies.

133
00:06:11,305 --> 00:06:12,972
- Well...
- Emergencies.

134
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:14,299
You've abused it.

135
00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:16,392
Look, my personal life
is a mess right now,

136
00:06:16,393 --> 00:06:18,844
and I thought I could talk
about that with my friend.

137
00:06:18,845 --> 00:06:20,118
We're co-workers.

138
00:06:20,119 --> 00:06:22,749
Harley stole some highly sensitive
tech from Wayne Enterprises.

139
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:25,051
In her hands, it could be catastrophic.

140
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:28,587
Oh, well, then, I'm on it, co-worker.

141
00:06:28,588 --> 00:06:30,256
Here, evidence from the crime scene.

142
00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:31,991
- Yeah, what's that?
- Ask it yourself.

143
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:34,092
You used to be such a damn good cop.

144
00:06:34,093 --> 00:06:35,828
I damn still am.

145
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:37,350
Prove it.

146
00:06:45,406 --> 00:06:46,910
Oh, that was awesome.

147
00:06:46,911 --> 00:06:48,571
Everyone kicked major ass.

148
00:06:48,572 --> 00:06:51,712
I mean, Psycho, when you froze
that security guard, mwah!

149
00:06:51,713 --> 00:06:55,280
Ah-uh. Don't you dare
Italian chef finger kiss

150
00:06:55,281 --> 00:06:57,116
any part of that disaster.

151
00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:58,719
You screwed up the plan.

152
00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:00,686
I'm ready for the heist,

153
00:07:00,687 --> 00:07:04,924
and it's-a gonna be-a delicious.

154
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,458
Hm.

155
00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:14,434
Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, oye.

156
00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:17,503
Aye.

157
00:07:18,740 --> 00:07:20,794
Shit. I missed the heist, didn't I?

158
00:07:20,795 --> 00:07:22,208
If you could call it that.

159
00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:24,010
Clayface lost his arm.

160
00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:25,811
No, no, it's fine.

161
00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:29,083
I'll just play one-armed characters
for the rest of my career.

162
00:07:29,084 --> 00:07:32,217
Perhaps they'll make a
sequel to 127 Hours.

163
00:07:32,218 --> 00:07:33,619
There has been light buzz.

164
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,510
You guys are thinkin'
small-time, all right?

165
00:07:35,511 --> 00:07:37,590
This is a way bigger
score than that bike.

166
00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:39,725
This, this thing is a...

167
00:07:39,726 --> 00:07:42,849
a highly classified technological device

168
00:07:42,850 --> 00:07:45,714
that's gonna blow the
minds of the Legion of Doom.

169
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,333
You have no idea what that does, do you?

170
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:48,334
Yes, I do.

171
00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:49,568
Something...

172
00:07:49,569 --> 00:07:51,327
Something button related?

173
00:07:51,328 --> 00:07:53,439
Look, either way, it
is obviously important.

174
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,775
I bet you this heist's
all over the news.

175
00:07:55,776 --> 00:07:58,029
I mean, look, this is
what I'm talkin' about.

176
00:07:58,030 --> 00:07:59,904
We even got reviewed
by The Cowled Critic.

177
00:07:59,905 --> 00:08:02,534
I mean, he's like the only
reviewer the Legion of Doom reads.

178
00:08:04,052 --> 00:08:07,470
All right, I learned
something today, Cowlheads,

179
00:08:07,471 --> 00:08:09,498
and that is Harley Quinn

180
00:08:09,499 --> 00:08:12,424
and her crew aren't worthy
of Legionnaires' disease,

181
00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:14,061
let alone the Legion of Doom.

182
00:08:14,062 --> 00:08:16,229
- Wait, what?
- But what should I have expected

183
00:08:16,230 --> 00:08:20,400
when the crew has the
universally hated Dr. Psycho,

184
00:08:20,401 --> 00:08:23,236
and his hussy new girlfriend, Poison Ivy.

185
00:08:23,237 --> 00:08:24,928
Oh, fuck off.

186
00:08:24,929 --> 00:08:26,640
That is completely out of context.

187
00:08:26,641 --> 00:08:28,441
I knew I should've let
you fall to your death.

188
00:08:28,442 --> 00:08:30,910
And the piece de resistance?

189
00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:33,046
Harley Quinn is so inept,

190
00:08:33,047 --> 00:08:35,519
she left behind a member of her own team

191
00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:38,085
who is now in the hands
of the Gotham Police.

192
00:08:38,086 --> 00:08:39,619
What the hell's he talkin' about?

193
00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:41,253
We all made it back in one piece.

194
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:44,556
Not exactly.

195
00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:46,191
Tell me where Harley Quinn is.

196
00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:50,463
I just wanna get back to my dad.

197
00:08:50,464 --> 00:08:52,181
All right. Okay, okay.

198
00:08:52,182 --> 00:08:53,633
Well, okay.

199
00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:55,734
How about if you tell me about him?

200
00:08:55,735 --> 00:08:58,905
I can't, 'cause I'm not
supposed to talk to strangers.

201
00:08:58,906 --> 00:09:00,773
Oh, but I'm not a stranger.

202
00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:02,709
No, my name is Jim.

203
00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:05,778
I'm a hardworking detective
with a beautiful wife

204
00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:08,181
who won't touch me even
though I treat her like a queen

205
00:09:08,182 --> 00:09:09,282
and do everything for her.

206
00:09:09,283 --> 00:09:10,283
Everything!

207
00:09:10,284 --> 00:09:12,400
But that's not your problem.

208
00:09:12,401 --> 00:09:15,047
Well, she doesn't sound
like a friend to me.

209
00:09:15,048 --> 00:09:17,322
That's exactly what I've been saying
to anyone who would listen to me.

210
00:09:17,323 --> 00:09:18,758
Which is no one.

211
00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:21,330
But that's not what
we're here to talk about.

212
00:09:21,331 --> 00:09:24,531
But maybe it should be, Jim.

213
00:09:24,532 --> 00:09:26,666
My God, you're right...

214
00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:29,268
So, it knows everything you know?

215
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:30,836
Yes, we've been over this.

216
00:09:30,837 --> 00:09:32,205
My arm is a piece of me.

217
00:09:32,206 --> 00:09:33,874
But it wouldn't give away our location,

218
00:09:33,875 --> 00:09:36,221
turn us in, testify
against us, would it?

219
00:09:36,222 --> 00:09:37,959
Who knows? It's like a kid.

220
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:39,279
It'll do anything for approval.

221
00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:41,114
Huh, wonder where it got that from.

222
00:09:41,115 --> 00:09:43,388
Ugh, if he squeals, the Cowled
Critic will have a field day,

223
00:09:43,389 --> 00:09:45,118
and the Legion of Doom
will never take me.

224
00:09:45,119 --> 00:09:48,193
But, mostly, we'll all be in
prison for the rest of our lives.

225
00:09:48,194 --> 00:09:49,345
Oh, yeah, that, that too.

226
00:09:49,346 --> 00:09:52,492
And I'll never get my lost,
little right hand man back.

227
00:09:52,493 --> 00:09:54,061
Yeah, that, that, that too, too.

228
00:09:54,062 --> 00:09:55,839
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, you know what,

229
00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:57,674
I think I speak for everyone when I say

230
00:09:57,675 --> 00:09:59,865
that this is completely fucking stupid.

231
00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:02,358
Can you please fire me now,
so I can get some unemployment?

232
00:10:02,359 --> 00:10:03,702
Okay. No one's going anywhere.

233
00:10:03,703 --> 00:10:05,439
'Cause we're gonna rescue your arm.

234
00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:09,209
We are gonna break into the
Gotham City Police Department.

235
00:10:09,210 --> 00:10:13,046
If we pull it off, the
Legion'll call us in no time.

236
00:10:13,047 --> 00:10:14,781
Oh, and Clayface will have two arms.

237
00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:17,221
Look, I'd love to come
along, and support you but...

238
00:10:17,222 --> 00:10:18,614
But ya wanna find the critic that said

239
00:10:18,615 --> 00:10:20,681
you're the biggest fuck up on my
crew and tear him a new asshole,

240
00:10:20,682 --> 00:10:22,736
- I get it, I get it.
- I will not be slandered.

241
00:10:22,737 --> 00:10:25,325
I'll help. I'll help you
smack him around a little bit.

242
00:10:25,326 --> 00:10:26,827
What? For you. Obviously.

243
00:10:26,828 --> 00:10:28,462
I mean, I can't let
this anonymous asshole

244
00:10:28,463 --> 00:10:29,852
talk shit about my best friend, right?

245
00:10:29,853 --> 00:10:31,867
Aw, Ive, you'd hurt him for me?

246
00:10:31,868 --> 00:10:33,899
Yes. Absolutely.

247
00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:36,436
And because he claimed
I'm fucking Psycho.

248
00:10:36,437 --> 00:10:37,771
But mostly for you, babe.

249
00:10:37,772 --> 00:10:38,904
But also for me.

250
00:10:38,905 --> 00:10:40,340
But for you. For us.

251
00:10:40,341 --> 00:10:41,943
It's fine. Let's go.

252
00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:48,496
I can't believe that bad old Batman
took away your special signal.

253
00:10:48,497 --> 00:10:50,517
After all the cases
I've helped him solve.

254
00:10:50,518 --> 00:10:52,018
I'm the one that does the grunt work.

255
00:10:52,019 --> 00:10:53,987
All I ask is that occasionally

256
00:10:53,988 --> 00:10:56,856
when my wife is emotionally
distant during sex, he listens.

257
00:10:56,857 --> 00:10:58,090
Not to the sex,

258
00:10:58,091 --> 00:10:59,459
But, to me, talking about the...

259
00:10:59,460 --> 00:11:00,793
Yeah.

260
00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:03,095
Jim, you sound like a really good cop.

261
00:11:04,156 --> 00:11:05,917
You know, it's just been so long since

262
00:11:05,918 --> 00:11:09,067
I've heard someone
else say that, I was...

263
00:11:09,068 --> 00:11:11,037
I was just starting to
wonder if it was really true.

264
00:11:11,038 --> 00:11:13,940
It's true to me... friend.

265
00:11:56,083 --> 00:12:00,296
A one armed officer... The
stories my mind is weaving.

266
00:12:00,297 --> 00:12:02,989
Ooh. How could he lose
it? A shootout? Maybe.

267
00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:06,625
An explosion? Perhaps! I know, diabetes!

268
00:12:06,626 --> 00:12:08,994
So, when they arrest me, I go full shark

269
00:12:08,995 --> 00:12:10,763
and start a riot to cause a distraction?

270
00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:12,230
Yep! Easy as one, two...

271
00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:14,600
Shark!

272
00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:26,362
Okay, okay. Plan B. Clayface,
you gotta distract 'em.

273
00:12:26,363 --> 00:12:29,349
Brilliant! Hm, what do cops love?

274
00:12:29,350 --> 00:12:32,119
It is I again, your fellow officer.

275
00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:35,122
Hello, chums. I come
baring horrible news!

276
00:12:35,123 --> 00:12:37,981
Joker has kidnapped Bruce Springsteen.

277
00:12:37,982 --> 00:12:40,325
Some rat fuck stole The Boss!

278
00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:41,460
Don't worry, The Boss.

279
00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:43,729
We're coming for you, Boss!

280
00:12:45,466 --> 00:12:47,578
Hello? My husband's been murdered

281
00:12:47,579 --> 00:12:50,065
and the killer's still in the ho...

282
00:12:51,651 --> 00:12:53,651
_

283
00:12:54,442 --> 00:12:57,670
Come on. Just tell me
where Harley's lair is.

284
00:12:57,671 --> 00:13:00,779
I'm your friend, not them.
You said it yourself.

285
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,547
You mean that?

286
00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:03,984
You're not just pretending?

287
00:13:03,985 --> 00:13:05,284
Well, I'm not gonna lie to you.

288
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:08,854
I was, but then you listened to me

289
00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:11,056
graphically explain the
problematic intercourse

290
00:13:11,057 --> 00:13:12,960
I'm having with my wife and...

291
00:13:12,961 --> 00:13:15,428
Well, gosh darn it, you didn't judge me.

292
00:13:15,429 --> 00:13:18,764
Well, Jim, you can't judge
what you don't understand.

293
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:20,099
God, you're so wise.

294
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:22,101
Aw, thanks, friend.

295
00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:25,271
You know what? I'm gonna
tell you where the lair is.

296
00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:26,273
The lair is on...

297
00:13:26,274 --> 00:13:28,256
- Don't tell him anything!
- My child!

298
00:13:28,257 --> 00:13:30,542
Give us The Arm, Gordon. Now!

299
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:32,619
Oh, Jim, don't let 'em take me.

300
00:13:32,620 --> 00:13:36,316
You need me, right?
'Cause I'm... I'm epidence?

301
00:13:36,317 --> 00:13:38,451
Ho-ho-hold on there, crazy guy.

302
00:13:38,452 --> 00:13:41,455
You're a lot more than just "epidence".

303
00:13:41,456 --> 00:13:43,456
And I'm not going to let
these animals touch you.

304
00:13:43,457 --> 00:13:46,259
If you've got ears, stick
your fingers in 'em right now

305
00:13:46,260 --> 00:13:47,994
because I'm about to work blue.

306
00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:50,897
I'm gonna fuck you
to death with bullets!

307
00:13:56,037 --> 00:13:59,686
So, you found The Cowled
Critic's house because you...

308
00:13:59,687 --> 00:14:03,143
Heard it through the grapevine.
Yeah, it is a real thing.

309
00:14:03,144 --> 00:14:07,580
Oh, shit. It's you. Of course, it's you!

310
00:14:07,581 --> 00:14:09,249
- Who's she?
- My ex-wife.

311
00:14:09,250 --> 00:14:11,451
Why are you at my boyfriend's house?

312
00:14:11,452 --> 00:14:14,454
Quick side bar. How did
this work... sexually?

313
00:14:14,455 --> 00:14:16,686
Not great!

314
00:14:17,258 --> 00:14:19,024
Oh, I should have called this!

315
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:21,336
I know you're The Cowled Critic!

316
00:14:21,337 --> 00:14:22,896
You gave that review sayin'

317
00:14:22,897 --> 00:14:24,619
me and chick weed here are a couple.

318
00:14:24,620 --> 00:14:28,100
You think I care about you
and your jolly green whore?

319
00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:29,369
Okay. I'm standing right here.

320
00:14:29,370 --> 00:14:31,571
I don't have time to give some review.

321
00:14:31,572 --> 00:14:34,541
I'm too busy getting cunnilingus
from my new boyfriend,

322
00:14:34,542 --> 00:14:37,476
- Brad, who's amazing at it.
- Oh, come on.

323
00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:39,079
Only weak men do that.

324
00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:41,513
Oh, fuckin' hell!

325
00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:43,198
Call me. In other news,

326
00:14:43,199 --> 00:14:45,484
if you didn't write the review, who did?

327
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:46,485
Father.

328
00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:47,720
Herman?

329
00:14:50,224 --> 00:14:52,057
Just give us The Arm, Gordon.

330
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:53,759
You'll have to kill me first!

331
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:56,021
He's my friend. My only friend!

332
00:14:56,022 --> 00:14:57,988
- What about Batman?
- He's no friend.

333
00:14:57,989 --> 00:15:00,399
Now that Batman's abandoned
me, this hand is all I have.

334
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:05,483
So, you'll have to pry this
hand out of my cold dead... hand.

335
00:15:05,484 --> 00:15:08,074
Why can't you just leave us alone?

336
00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:09,142
What he said!

337
00:15:09,143 --> 00:15:10,409
Okay. He's sidin' with Gordon.

338
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,244
He's gonna snitch and ruin everything,

339
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:14,735
and I will never get into the Legion.

340
00:15:14,736 --> 00:15:16,453
- And I'd like to have two arms.
- Oh.

341
00:15:16,454 --> 00:15:17,649
Yeah, that too.

342
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:19,051
All right. Two options, Gordy.

343
00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:20,854
Give us The Arm and we leave,

344
00:15:20,855 --> 00:15:22,288
or I press this button

345
00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:25,509
and blow this whole
fuckin' place sky-high.

346
00:15:25,510 --> 00:15:28,419
Harley, this wasn't the plan. We have
no idea what that button does.

347
00:15:28,420 --> 00:15:31,464
I gotta do something crazy and
in the chaos we'll grab The Arm.

348
00:15:31,465 --> 00:15:33,094
Okay. You winked. Is that a wink?

349
00:15:33,095 --> 00:15:34,683
That... "No, I'm not
going to press the button?"

350
00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:36,369
Is that a wink? "I am
going to press the button?"

351
00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:38,571
- What's the plan? What?
- Exactly.

352
00:15:38,572 --> 00:15:40,330
You've got three seconds
to put that button down

353
00:15:40,331 --> 00:15:42,841
or I'll pull this trigger.
So help me God.

354
00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:46,412
Three... two... one.

355
00:15:57,356 --> 00:15:58,425
Ah...

356
00:15:58,426 --> 00:16:00,351
Uh, well, I wasn't expecting that.

357
00:16:04,597 --> 00:16:07,099
What the hell?

358
00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:16,176
So, Quinn, you pressed the button.

359
00:16:16,177 --> 00:16:18,510
Yeah, I don't think you got
all the kinks worked out.

360
00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:19,879
It's in beta.

361
00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:23,148
Wow! I always wondered what
the Batcave looked like.

362
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:25,112
So this must be where you fuck the bats.

363
00:16:25,113 --> 00:16:26,819
- Hmm.
- Are you gonna help me or what?

364
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:28,153
You've seen the Batcave.

365
00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:30,723
Give me one reason why
I shouldn't let you drop.

366
00:16:30,724 --> 00:16:32,459
Um... Uh...

367
00:16:32,460 --> 00:16:34,976
Hey, Bats, yeah, I'm here
on a mercy mission, okay?

368
00:16:34,977 --> 00:16:36,891
Gordon's on the roof of
the police department.

369
00:16:36,892 --> 00:16:38,398
He's lost his mind.

370
00:16:38,399 --> 00:16:41,849
I mean, I think he's suicidal.
He... He said you abandoned him.

371
00:16:41,850 --> 00:16:43,347
I don't know what he wants from me.

372
00:16:43,348 --> 00:16:45,971
We're co-workers.

373
00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:47,773
My screensaver just
kicked in, didn't it?

374
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:48,823
Yeah. It sure did.

375
00:16:48,824 --> 00:16:51,076
I mean, he said you put your
work before your friendship.

376
00:16:51,077 --> 00:16:55,047
That's real... Selfish.

377
00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:57,017
You know, Bats, now
that I think about it,

378
00:16:57,018 --> 00:16:58,517
you and I ain't that different.

379
00:16:58,518 --> 00:16:59,686
We're completely different.

380
00:16:59,687 --> 00:17:01,993
We're both bad asses
who look good in spandex.

381
00:17:01,994 --> 00:17:05,057
This polymer body armor is made
from indestructible micro-fiber.

382
00:17:05,058 --> 00:17:06,526
Yeah, no, it looks like spandex.

383
00:17:13,067 --> 00:17:15,101
My friend just lost his arm

384
00:17:15,102 --> 00:17:17,504
and, instead of helpin' him get it back,

385
00:17:17,505 --> 00:17:20,874
I did what would help me
get into the Legion of Doom.

386
00:17:20,875 --> 00:17:22,476
I let him down.

387
00:17:22,477 --> 00:17:25,912
Just like you let Gordon down.

388
00:17:25,913 --> 00:17:27,980
Not good at... emotion.

389
00:17:27,981 --> 00:17:29,082
Or...

390
00:17:29,083 --> 00:17:30,374
Vocabulary.

391
00:17:30,375 --> 00:17:32,285
But hey, you got a
chance to repair it, okay?

392
00:17:32,286 --> 00:17:34,699
We need to get Gordon before
he does somethin' crazy.

393
00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:37,089
Your friend needs you now.

394
00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:39,159
Hmm.

395
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:41,027
Herman, my sweet Herman.

396
00:17:41,028 --> 00:17:43,715
Listen, I understand your monster mom

397
00:17:43,716 --> 00:17:47,553
saying those things about me,
but my brood, my own kin?

398
00:17:47,554 --> 00:17:50,537
You made my entire life a living hell.

399
00:17:50,538 --> 00:17:53,306
You locked me in the
basement for days...

400
00:17:53,307 --> 00:17:56,657
- Mm-hmm.
- ... killed anyone who seemed to like me...

401
00:17:56,658 --> 00:17:59,660
- That's true.
- ... never bought me a WayneStation4...

402
00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:02,281
- All right.
- Fuck! You named me Herman!

403
00:18:02,282 --> 00:18:04,250
You're the worst father ever!

404
00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:06,420
Okay. Can we just take a step back?

405
00:18:06,421 --> 00:18:09,655
I made your life a living hell...

406
00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:12,225
- because I care about you.
- What?

407
00:18:12,226 --> 00:18:15,362
Supervillains don't
come from happy homes.

408
00:18:15,363 --> 00:18:18,932
and I saw so much evil potential in you.

409
00:18:18,933 --> 00:18:22,169
If I didn't think you could become
the worst person in the world,

410
00:18:22,170 --> 00:18:25,004
I wouldn't have tried so
hard to make your life awful.

411
00:18:25,005 --> 00:18:26,272
I...

412
00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:28,008
I only ever wanted to impress you,

413
00:18:28,009 --> 00:18:31,111
but I never thought I was evil enough.

414
00:18:31,112 --> 00:18:33,716
Uh-uh-uh. Nuh-uh. No.
Don't cry. Don't cry.

415
00:18:33,717 --> 00:18:36,283
You're gonna make me cry because
I thought I failed as a father,

416
00:18:36,284 --> 00:18:39,152
and you ended up happy, and heroic.

417
00:18:39,153 --> 00:18:40,386
But look at you.

418
00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:43,222
You're more evil than
I could've dreamed.

419
00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:47,460
I couldn't be more proud
of you, my terrible son.

420
00:18:47,461 --> 00:18:50,910
I hate you, Dad. I hate you so much.

421
00:18:50,911 --> 00:18:52,864
I hate you too, son.

422
00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:54,866
This is so fucked up,

423
00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:56,902
but weirdly really moving.

424
00:18:58,271 --> 00:18:59,872
All right, I'm going to let you guys go.

425
00:18:59,873 --> 00:19:01,741
I'm going to go find Brad.

426
00:19:01,742 --> 00:19:04,777
If you want to stay with Gordon,
I understand.

427
00:19:04,778 --> 00:19:07,314
I only want you to be safe and...

428
00:19:08,382 --> 00:19:12,685
Safe and happy.

429
00:19:12,686 --> 00:19:15,255
- Holy shit! Can we do that again?
- No.

430
00:19:15,256 --> 00:19:16,456
Oh, so you came back.

431
00:19:16,457 --> 00:19:18,325
Well, I've got a new friend now

432
00:19:18,326 --> 00:19:20,176
- so there's nothing you can say...
- I'm sorry, Jim.

433
00:19:20,177 --> 00:19:21,393
I'm sorry, too.

434
00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:23,013
I knew you'd realize
our friendship means

435
00:19:23,014 --> 00:19:25,098
more than just our
day-to-day crime fighting.

436
00:19:25,099 --> 00:19:26,949
And that we can lean on each other

437
00:19:26,950 --> 00:19:30,002
for our most intimate emotional needs.

438
00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:31,150
Sure.

439
00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:35,642
A damn good bat signal.

440
00:19:35,643 --> 00:19:37,710
- Well...
- For a damn good cop.

441
00:19:37,711 --> 00:19:38,897
Aw...

442
00:19:42,855 --> 00:19:46,318
Thank you for everything, The Arm.

443
00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:48,287
But I've got my real friend back now,

444
00:19:48,288 --> 00:19:49,789
so you can go on.

445
00:19:49,790 --> 00:19:51,790
Go get reabsorbed back into your daddy.

446
00:19:55,462 --> 00:19:56,796
Aw, don't do that.

447
00:19:57,888 --> 00:19:59,568
Don't make this harder
than it needs to be.

448
00:20:00,701 --> 00:20:03,706
Oh, Jim. I'll never forget yo...

449
00:20:03,707 --> 00:20:06,515
Well done!

450
00:20:06,516 --> 00:20:08,596
All right, Quinn. Time for
me to take you to Arkham.

451
00:20:08,597 --> 00:20:10,376
Wait, what? I just repaired

452
00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:12,114
your most important adult relationship.

453
00:20:19,186 --> 00:20:21,488
- Everybody hands up!
- Hands in the air.

454
00:20:21,489 --> 00:20:24,757
- You're under arrest!
- Not so fast, gentlemen.

455
00:20:24,758 --> 00:20:25,991
Dance, coppers!

456
00:20:28,095 --> 00:20:32,735
Let's go. Let's get outta here.

457
00:20:34,602 --> 00:20:38,439
What a pussy!

458
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:41,807
... and so it is with a humble heart,

459
00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:45,879
that I come to, Cowlheads,
retracting my previous review.

460
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:48,931
Harley Quinn and her crew have
more than proven themselves.

461
00:20:48,932 --> 00:20:52,576
Look, look, obviously I want to get
into the Legion of Doom super bad.

462
00:20:52,577 --> 00:20:54,002
It's incredibly important to me,

463
00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:56,288
but not more important than you guys.

464
00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:58,124
Check this out, everybody!

465
00:20:58,125 --> 00:21:01,694
And I want to give a special
shout out to Dr. Psycho,

466
00:21:01,695 --> 00:21:04,096
who I slandered in my last review.

467
00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:05,699
Feeling really bad about that.

468
00:21:05,700 --> 00:21:09,670
Using his amazing brain powers,
he made Batman vanish.

469
00:21:09,671 --> 00:21:11,838
His super cool son must be so proud.

470
00:21:11,839 --> 00:21:13,906
- Uh... That's not what...
- Let him have this.

471
00:21:13,907 --> 00:21:15,843
Also want to apologize for saying

472
00:21:15,844 --> 00:21:18,478
Poison Ivy and Dr. Psycho are a couple.

473
00:21:18,479 --> 00:21:19,546
That one's on me.

474
00:21:19,547 --> 00:21:21,181
- Ah, thank God.
- Finally.

475
00:21:21,182 --> 00:21:24,432
Harley Quinn and her crew are
worthy of being nominated

476
00:21:24,433 --> 00:21:27,287
for this year's class
of the Legion of Doom.

477
00:21:27,288 --> 00:21:30,364
if she could only just stop
leaving crew members behind.

478
00:21:30,365 --> 00:21:31,790
We didn't leave anybody...

479
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,125
Oh, shit!

480
00:21:33,126 --> 00:21:34,460
Mm.

481
00:21:34,461 --> 00:21:36,863
Mm.

482
00:21:38,532 --> 00:21:41,500
Darrell, if you ever bring
me inferior toilet wine again,

483
00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:43,470
I'll be forced to shank
you in the showers

484
00:21:43,471 --> 00:21:45,604
and you know I don't want to do that.

485
00:21:45,605 --> 00:21:47,342
I like being "cool boss".

486
00:21:51,011 --> 00:21:54,346
Hey, King. I am so sorry for
leavin' ya here for so long.

487
00:21:54,347 --> 00:21:55,716
Oh, no problem.

488
00:21:55,717 --> 00:21:57,550
It allowed me to experience firsthand

489
00:21:57,551 --> 00:21:59,952
the failings of the
prison industrial complex.

490
00:21:59,953 --> 00:22:02,419
- Yeah! Fresh fish!
- Here fishy,

491
00:22:02,420 --> 00:22:03,556
fishy, fishy, fishy.

492
00:22:05,093 --> 00:22:07,917
Now, fellas, look, I know
it's just in fun, but...

493
00:22:07,918 --> 00:22:10,911
What the fuck did
I tell you about that word?

494
00:22:10,912 --> 00:22:13,199
- Oh, yeah. Sorry, King.
- Ooh. Sorry about that.

495
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:15,235
Oh. They're learning.

496
00:22:15,236 --> 00:22:17,070
Baby steps, right, Harley?

497
00:22:17,071 --> 00:22:19,906
I will kill each and every one of you

498
00:22:19,907 --> 00:22:23,509
with my bare hands if I have to!

499
00:22:28,534 --> 00:22:31,034
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -