1
00:00:04,162 --> 00:00:09,162
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com

2
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You must be Jean.

3
00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:33,515
I'm Louis. Please, come in.

4
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I was... expecting
somewhere a bit more...

5
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... grand.

6
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It's our policy to engage with
the client at their level.

7
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You thought I'd be more
comfortable in a shitty motel

8
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than a chateau?

9
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Why don't you have a seat?

10
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Took a lot of work to track you down.

11
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Well, we're happy
to have a high bar of entry.

12
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Any potential client we want to
make sure is completely committed.

13
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Oh, I'm... I'm committed.

14
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When I hear the Black Sabbath
album for the first time,

15
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it changed my life.

16
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Black Sabbath?

17
00:02:14,195 --> 00:02:16,187
You've never heard of Black Sabbath?

18
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They're this awesome
rock band out of Britain. I...

19
00:02:19,695 --> 00:02:21,116
I thought you'd be all over that shit.

20
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Oh, well, I don't really listen
to much contemporary music.

21
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Right, because you've got, like,

22
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the whole back catalogue to choose from.

23
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I bet a lot of the best
musicians probably end up...

24
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i... in your place.

25
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I'm not at liberty to
discuss other clients.

26
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Sure.

27
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But...

28
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,749
Robert Johnson?

29
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Keith Richards? Jimi Hendrix?

30
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They're not gonna go up there, are they?

31
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Jean, why don't you have a seat

32
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and tell me exactly what it is

33
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you want from this arrangement.

34
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Everyone else is partying all the time.

35
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Sex, drugs and rock and roll.

36
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All the dumb bitches

37
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with their cars and their boyfriends

38
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and their apartments and their...

39
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... hairdos.

40
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If they've got all
that, why shouldn't I?

41
00:03:22,867 --> 00:03:24,621
Why shouldn't I...

42
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fuck all the hot guys

43
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and live in a huge house
and drive a cool car

44
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and look great all the time?

45
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I want to do that.

46
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And I want to tell all the dumb-asses
who ever got in my way

47
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or told me no or said I
was ugly or fat or square

48
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that they can rot in hell.

49
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I guess that last part is kind of
your call, but you know what I mean.

50
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Yes, I think I do.

51
00:03:55,710 --> 00:03:59,756
You're not exactly giving
this the hard sell.

52
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Not really trying to close the deal.

53
00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:04,661
That's not the way we do things.

54
00:04:04,686 --> 00:04:06,763
It's very important to me

55
00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:09,937
that this be one hundred
percent your decision.

56
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So how does it work exactly?

57
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Well, once you've made your choice

58
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and you're comfortable with it,

59
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I have you sign some papers,

60
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and once I have your signature,

61
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the transaction is complete.

62
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Do I have to sign in blood?

63
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Ink will be fine.

64
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Oh.

65
00:04:34,378 --> 00:04:38,279
Uhh... You might want
to read it through first.

66
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Okay, Dad.

67
00:04:39,704 --> 00:04:43,943
At-At least take a look at the...
at the last section there.

68
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Item 6.1?

69
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:52,584
"Service provider shall retain
ownership of the client's soul

70
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for a duration which shall
have a floor of eternity

71
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and a ceiling of... eternity."

72
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:03,203
And are you completely
comfortable with that?

73
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Yeah.

74
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Yeah, it's cool.

75
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Uh, just forgive my asking, but...

76
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:13,090
what are your reasons for
believing it's "cool"?

77
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Well, I don't really believe in a soul.

78
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Or any of that shit.

79
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It's Christian dogma, I'm not into that.

80
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Well, I would say that, um,

81
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a substantial part of our whole setup...

82
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- is Christian dogma.
- Whatever.

83
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You believe what you believe,
I'll believe what I believe.

84
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Let's just agree to disagree.

85
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Ju... Ju... Just so we're

86
00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:43,570
crystal clear on this, uh...

87
00:05:44,193 --> 00:05:47,195
ownership of the soul for eternity,

88
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typically, that duration of ownership...

89
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would take place in the underworld.

90
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Specifically, hell.

91
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Souls? Hell?

92
00:06:07,885 --> 00:06:09,890
You're really crackin' me up over here.

93
00:06:10,416 --> 00:06:11,876
OK.

94
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Bring it on.

95
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Fill me up with the cash and the
drugs and the big, hard dicks!

96
00:06:19,454 --> 00:06:20,621
Let's do this!

97
00:07:00,771 --> 00:07:03,607
Jean. It's been a long time.

98
00:07:05,359 --> 00:07:07,906
Same shitty motel room.

99
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- So tell me, how have you been?
- Great.

100
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Yeah, really great, as a matter of fact.

101
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I'm pleased to hear it.

102
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People are so snobby
about worldly pleasures.

103
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Sex, food, drink, drugs,

104
00:07:22,592 --> 00:07:25,629
sports cars, mansions, yachts,

105
00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:30,490
helicopters, jewelry,
designer clothes, sex.

106
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- Did I mention sex?
- Yes.

107
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May I offer you a drink?
I have an excellent single malt.

108
00:07:38,108 --> 00:07:41,256
Leonard, it's great to see you again.

109
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- It's Louis.
- But I was just wondering

110
00:07:43,780 --> 00:07:45,741
how long this was going to take.

111
00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:51,790
See, I have a private jet to
St. Barts on standby.

112
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Ah. Well, I'm afraid to say

113
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I don't think you're
going to make that flight.

114
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What are you talking about?

115
00:07:59,622 --> 00:08:01,457
Well, Jean, today is...

116
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How can I put this
without sounding clichéd?

117
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The day of reckoning.

118
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- The what?
- Item 6.1.

119
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Per our agreement,
the company owns your soul.

120
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And today's the day we...
cash it in, so to speak.

121
00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:21,237
Let me put this as simply as possible.

122
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You won't be going to St. Barts tonight.

123
00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:28,066
Instead, you'll be going to hell...

124
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for eternity.

125
00:08:29,984 --> 00:08:31,861
You're not serious.

126
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I'm completely serious.

127
00:08:34,534 --> 00:08:37,384
Well, I'll have my
lawyer look through this.

128
00:08:37,409 --> 00:08:39,202
I don't know why this
is such a surprise.

129
00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:40,979
You'll recall that before you signed

130
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I did direct you to the
appropriate clauses,

131
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- the terms and conditions.
- Terms and conditions.

132
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Who reads the goddamn
terms and conditions?

133
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:51,740
I don't know, people who are
signing away their immortal souls?

134
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:55,004
But when I signed this,
I didn't even have a lawyer.

135
00:08:55,029 --> 00:08:57,954
This is not worth the
paper it's printed on.

136
00:08:57,979 --> 00:09:00,722
Hey. We kept our side of the bargain.

137
00:09:00,747 --> 00:09:03,785
You had 50 great years.
You said so yourself.

138
00:09:03,810 --> 00:09:05,755
Now it's time to pay the check.

139
00:09:05,780 --> 00:09:07,573
Nobody likes paying the check,

140
00:09:07,598 --> 00:09:10,059
but unfortunately,
the check must be paid.

141
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:13,928
And the payment is... eternity in hell.

142
00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:17,185
I don't think so.

143
00:09:17,943 --> 00:09:20,894
I get this... every time.

144
00:09:20,919 --> 00:09:23,443
Every damn time.

145
00:09:23,468 --> 00:09:25,232
Is it so much to ask

146
00:09:25,257 --> 00:09:27,417
for someone to actually read the words

147
00:09:27,442 --> 00:09:29,568
that are written in a
contract before they sign it?

148
00:09:29,593 --> 00:09:32,990
Apparently, it's the most difficult
thing in the world for you people!

149
00:09:35,521 --> 00:09:36,939
Look on the bright side.

150
00:09:37,083 --> 00:09:40,205
You'll have lots and
lots of happy memories

151
00:09:40,230 --> 00:09:42,274
to look back on forever!

152
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,724
And when you talk about hell,

153
00:09:44,749 --> 00:09:46,449
what do you mean, exactly?

154
00:09:46,474 --> 00:09:48,922
Hell. The famous hell?

155
00:09:49,372 --> 00:09:51,691
You've seen it in the
paintings, the movies?

156
00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:54,638
Is this that ironic version of hell?

157
00:09:54,663 --> 00:09:56,696
Like Homer Simpson and the donuts?

158
00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:57,919
Homer Simpson...

159
00:09:57,944 --> 00:10:01,495
No! There's no donuts. It's not ironic.

160
00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,590
There's no irony down there.

161
00:10:03,615 --> 00:10:06,915
This is never-ending torment!

162
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,692
With fire! Lots of fire!

163
00:10:09,717 --> 00:10:11,621
They love fire!
They can't get enough of it!

164
00:10:11,646 --> 00:10:14,268
Hell, though, really? Hell?

165
00:10:14,293 --> 00:10:17,158
I mean, with the flames
and the naked bodies

166
00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:20,026
and the little red
guys with pointy tails?

167
00:10:20,051 --> 00:10:22,038
That's pretty much the size of it, yes.

168
00:10:22,063 --> 00:10:24,549
And heaven is full of clouds?

169
00:10:24,574 --> 00:10:27,973
And angels with halos playing harps?

170
00:10:27,998 --> 00:10:31,300
I've never been myself,
but from what I understand,

171
00:10:31,325 --> 00:10:32,534
that's pretty much it.

172
00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:34,434
Well, I'm not buying it.

173
00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:39,447
Would you like to see a preview?

174
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:40,965
A preview?

175
00:10:47,822 --> 00:10:50,233
Oh, Jesus!

176
00:10:51,197 --> 00:10:53,932
Jesus fucking Christ!

177
00:11:01,793 --> 00:11:04,472
Ohh. Ohh. Ohh.

178
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,074
So as I was saying...

179
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:08,184
I didn't realize!

180
00:11:08,209 --> 00:11:10,370
I-I didn't realize!

181
00:11:10,395 --> 00:11:13,298
Yeah, I'd like to say that
you get used to it eventually,

182
00:11:13,323 --> 00:11:15,784
but I don't think you really ever do.

183
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:18,573
And that happens for eternity?

184
00:11:18,598 --> 00:11:21,222
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, my God.

185
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:23,903
Jean...

186
00:11:23,928 --> 00:11:27,078
I know this may look harsh or unfair,

187
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:30,982
but remember, everyone's down
there for a reason.

188
00:11:31,007 --> 00:11:34,427
Either they sold their souls for
earthly pleasures like you did,

189
00:11:34,958 --> 00:11:38,990
or they were just...
major league assholes.

190
00:11:39,015 --> 00:11:41,360
Well, this is not gonna happen.

191
00:11:41,385 --> 00:11:43,011
Jean, it's what always happens.

192
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:44,950
Well, not with me.

193
00:11:47,638 --> 00:11:49,475
George, it's Jean.

194
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:52,536
I have this contra... Hey!

195
00:11:53,442 --> 00:11:56,316
I've watched a thousand lawyers
read a thousand contracts

196
00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:58,394
in a thousand different languages,

197
00:11:58,419 --> 00:12:00,480
many of which have since died out.

198
00:12:00,505 --> 00:12:04,144
There's no loophole. You sold your soul.

199
00:12:04,169 --> 00:12:07,143
And you're going to hell. Forever.

200
00:12:07,474 --> 00:12:08,811
The end.

201
00:12:20,215 --> 00:12:22,467
Look, Jean, you had 50 great years.

202
00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:24,849
Some people don't get 50 great minutes!

203
00:12:26,836 --> 00:12:28,722
What are you sighing about?

204
00:12:28,747 --> 00:12:31,067
I'm the one that's going to hell.

205
00:12:31,685 --> 00:12:33,478
Do you know how depressing it is

206
00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:36,339
to send people to ceaseless torment

207
00:12:36,364 --> 00:12:37,991
on a regular basis?

208
00:12:38,016 --> 00:12:39,417
It's a real bummer.

209
00:12:39,442 --> 00:12:42,220
Ohh. I'm so sorry.

210
00:12:42,245 --> 00:12:44,614
Are you getting blisters on your hands

211
00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:46,753
from all the pitchfork-wielding?

212
00:12:46,778 --> 00:12:49,244
- Poor you.
- Yeah. You asked for it.

213
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,628
You literally signed up for it.

214
00:12:51,653 --> 00:12:54,396
But you're all stupid, mostly.

215
00:12:54,421 --> 00:12:55,997
You regret it at the end,

216
00:12:56,022 --> 00:12:58,003
and then you come back
with cirrhosis of the liver

217
00:12:58,028 --> 00:12:59,905
and a trail of broken relationships.

218
00:12:59,930 --> 00:13:01,348
I don't have either.

219
00:13:01,373 --> 00:13:04,542
And I've had a really, really good time.

220
00:13:04,567 --> 00:13:07,786
I must say it took me a
while to get used to it,

221
00:13:07,811 --> 00:13:10,056
but once I got into the swing of it,

222
00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:12,308
I must say I loved it.

223
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:15,478
Being a hard-headed, hedonistic asshole

224
00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:17,888
really worked for me.

225
00:13:18,058 --> 00:13:20,274
Well, I'm certainly glad
you made the most of it.

226
00:13:20,498 --> 00:13:22,343
There was a turning point,

227
00:13:22,368 --> 00:13:25,834
a moment when things
really became clear to me.

228
00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:29,973
I was fucking this guy,
and fucking with his head,

229
00:13:29,998 --> 00:13:32,777
he was crying and begging,

230
00:13:32,802 --> 00:13:35,473
and I realized that I had a choice.

231
00:13:35,498 --> 00:13:39,098
I could be sympathetic,
or I could just not give a shit,

232
00:13:39,123 --> 00:13:42,447
turn my compassion off
like a light switch.

233
00:13:43,005 --> 00:13:45,552
And I chose option two.

234
00:13:46,388 --> 00:13:49,495
So I went on fucking
him and fucking with him

235
00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:52,498
until I got bored,
and then I tossed him away.

236
00:13:53,057 --> 00:13:55,685
I never turned that switch back on.

237
00:13:56,732 --> 00:13:58,438
And I did some terrible things.

238
00:13:58,463 --> 00:14:00,465
That was just the beginning.

239
00:14:00,490 --> 00:14:04,355
I did awful things.
Really bad. Terrible.

240
00:14:04,380 --> 00:14:06,099
Really evil.

241
00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:09,755
Oh, boy.

242
00:14:12,243 --> 00:14:14,954
I thought you'd be interested in this,

243
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:16,982
being the devil and everything.

244
00:14:17,007 --> 00:14:19,488
I'm not the devil,
I just work for the devil.

245
00:14:19,513 --> 00:14:21,319
- Oh, so you're a demon?
- What?

246
00:14:21,344 --> 00:14:24,170
No! I'm not a demon!
Fuck those assholes!

247
00:14:25,818 --> 00:14:29,427
I'm more of an executive
assistant to the devil.

248
00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:32,771
- Cool.
- Yeah, it was cool...

249
00:14:32,796 --> 00:14:34,170
at first.

250
00:14:35,256 --> 00:14:37,434
But a few millennia on,

251
00:14:37,459 --> 00:14:42,316
and I'm really just so
tired of the whole thing,

252
00:14:42,341 --> 00:14:44,050
if I'm honest.

253
00:14:44,191 --> 00:14:46,271
I thought I was cut out for this,

254
00:14:46,296 --> 00:14:49,550
but I have bad dreams.

255
00:14:49,781 --> 00:14:52,201
Horrible dreams. Every night.

256
00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:55,795
All this damnation, it doesn't...

257
00:14:55,820 --> 00:14:58,474
sit well with me.

258
00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:01,427
My digestion is shot to fuck.

259
00:15:03,896 --> 00:15:05,873
I just don't know how much longer

260
00:15:05,898 --> 00:15:07,638
I can keep doing this.

261
00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:12,303
Well, if sending people to
hell is making you feel so bad,

262
00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:14,084
I have a suggestion.

263
00:15:14,109 --> 00:15:16,902
- Stop. Just say no.
- Take my word for it.

264
00:15:16,927 --> 00:15:19,934
Eternal damnation would
be a day at the beach

265
00:15:19,959 --> 00:15:22,330
compared to what he would
do to me if I walked out.

266
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:23,773
Well...

267
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:26,684
you know, maybe there's an answer...

268
00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:28,248
for both of us.

269
00:15:28,685 --> 00:15:30,096
What?

270
00:15:30,287 --> 00:15:32,723
Well, how about if I took over?

271
00:15:33,037 --> 00:15:34,146
Took over?

272
00:15:34,171 --> 00:15:37,082
I could take over your job as demon...

273
00:15:37,107 --> 00:15:39,480
- I'm not a demon.
- ... and then you could retire

274
00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:42,072
and take up waterskiing or whatever.

275
00:15:42,097 --> 00:15:44,112
Think about it. It's a win-win.

276
00:15:44,137 --> 00:15:47,548
I mean, you wouldn't be
crucified for leaving your post,

277
00:15:47,573 --> 00:15:51,003
and I would avoid an
eternity of torment.

278
00:15:51,417 --> 00:15:55,105
Maybe... it's a possibility.

279
00:15:57,273 --> 00:15:59,433
You would be directly involved

280
00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:01,410
in a vast amount of suffering.

281
00:16:01,435 --> 00:16:03,729
I'm not sure any human
being could deal with that.

282
00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:06,501
Well, I'm not your average human being.

283
00:16:06,526 --> 00:16:09,135
I've been in training
for this my whole life.

284
00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:13,273
And I feel so connected to your brand...
the whole evil thing.

285
00:16:13,298 --> 00:16:14,687
I mean, it's really me.

286
00:16:14,712 --> 00:16:17,156
OK, I get that you're a
sociopathic narcissist.

287
00:16:17,188 --> 00:16:18,773
But for something like this,

288
00:16:18,798 --> 00:16:20,288
you'd really need to crank it up

289
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,106
- to the next level.
- Bring it on.

290
00:16:22,131 --> 00:16:24,219
Because if you take the job

291
00:16:24,244 --> 00:16:25,687
and then decide you can't handle it,

292
00:16:25,712 --> 00:16:28,205
that would rebound very badly on me.

293
00:16:28,230 --> 00:16:31,424
How about you let me prove myself?

294
00:16:31,664 --> 00:16:32,664
How do you mean?

295
00:16:32,689 --> 00:16:35,511
Dustin! Dustin?

296
00:16:37,511 --> 00:16:39,517
I just got off the
phone with the air strip

297
00:16:39,542 --> 00:16:41,885
- and the pilots on standby...
- No. Don't worry about that.

298
00:16:41,909 --> 00:16:43,095
Come on in.

299
00:16:43,119 --> 00:16:46,314
This is Louis. Louis, Dustin.

300
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,132
Hi there.

301
00:16:48,157 --> 00:16:50,242
Would you like a drink?

302
00:16:50,267 --> 00:16:52,361
- Oh, no, I'm...
- Louis and I

303
00:16:52,393 --> 00:16:56,532
have been discussing a very
interesting career opportunity.

304
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,534
- For me.
- Okay.

305
00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:02,188
I know how supportive you've
been to me in my career,

306
00:17:02,213 --> 00:17:03,910
and I know that you would want me.

307
00:17:03,935 --> 00:17:06,542
to pursue any opportunities
that came my way

308
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:09,320
Uh, yeah, I'd be happy to
help in any way that I can.

309
00:17:09,345 --> 00:17:10,707
Wonderful.

310
00:17:11,161 --> 00:17:13,716
Louis and I want to
give you an opportunity

311
00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:15,822
to experience something

312
00:17:15,847 --> 00:17:19,163
that millions have argued
about for millennia.

313
00:17:19,188 --> 00:17:23,744
Think of it as a reward
for your years of service.

314
00:17:23,769 --> 00:17:25,369
Now finish your drink,

315
00:17:25,394 --> 00:17:29,418
and I'm going to start you
on your fantastic voyage.

316
00:17:31,735 --> 00:17:36,119
In a moment I'm going to ask
you to open the bathroom door.

317
00:17:36,144 --> 00:17:39,783
And when you do,
you will be amazed at what you see.

318
00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:41,947
Amazed and astonished.

319
00:17:41,972 --> 00:17:45,416
But first I just want to
tell you how pleased I am

320
00:17:45,448 --> 00:17:48,518
to have been working with
you over the last two years.

321
00:17:48,543 --> 00:17:50,562
- It's been five, actually...
- And I just want to thank you

322
00:17:50,586 --> 00:17:52,691
for your patience and your forbearance.

323
00:17:52,716 --> 00:17:53,717
Okay.

324
00:17:58,286 --> 00:17:59,763
Oh!

325
00:17:59,788 --> 00:18:01,331
What are you doing?!

326
00:18:06,769 --> 00:18:08,646
Do I get the job?

327
00:18:08,982 --> 00:18:12,135
- Well...
- Take my Porsche.

328
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:14,218
Drive it to the airport,

329
00:18:14,243 --> 00:18:16,453
and take the jet to St. Barts.

330
00:18:16,478 --> 00:18:19,557
Take a mansion. Take all my mansions!

331
00:18:19,582 --> 00:18:22,602
Oh, seriously, I am so up for this.

332
00:18:22,627 --> 00:18:26,049
It's empowering! It's exhilarating.

333
00:18:26,074 --> 00:18:28,441
I finally found the job for me!

334
00:18:28,466 --> 00:18:31,886
Uh... let me just ask my supervisor.

335
00:18:40,428 --> 00:18:42,430
- He's okay with it.
- Yes!

336
00:18:43,998 --> 00:18:45,666
Oh, boy, um...

337
00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:48,697
Oh. There's a lot of politics, okay?

338
00:18:48,722 --> 00:18:50,579
Everyone's always
jockeying for position.

339
00:18:50,604 --> 00:18:52,523
They want to be the boss's best buddy,

340
00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:54,318
they're trying to get in with
the guys in the ninth circle.

341
00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:56,824
Just watch your back,
that's all I'm saying.

342
00:18:57,582 --> 00:19:00,152
- Good luck!
- Thank you! You too!

343
00:19:00,466 --> 00:19:01,871
Oh, who's that?

344
00:19:01,896 --> 00:19:03,826
Shit! It's my next appointment.

345
00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:05,770
No, it's my first appointment!

346
00:19:05,795 --> 00:19:06,795
Oh...

347
00:19:08,279 --> 00:19:10,416
- Hi! Come on in!
- Hi.

348
00:19:10,441 --> 00:19:12,360
Oh. I thought there'd
only be one of you here.

349
00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:15,410
There is. Me! I'm Jean.

350
00:19:15,435 --> 00:19:17,877
Louis was just about to take off.

351
00:19:17,902 --> 00:19:21,277
Another customer about to be satisfied.

352
00:19:21,608 --> 00:19:23,394
So you're a musician.

353
00:19:23,419 --> 00:19:25,671
Yep, that's why I'm doin' this.

354
00:19:25,890 --> 00:19:28,549
I just wanna be the greatest
rock star on the planet, ya know?

355
00:19:28,574 --> 00:19:31,420
Ah. Well, good luck with that.

356
00:19:31,445 --> 00:19:34,418
She doesn't need luck. She has us.

357
00:19:34,443 --> 00:19:37,571
- I don't actually drink.
- You don't drink?

358
00:19:37,596 --> 00:19:40,446
No, I'm straight edge.
I'm just all about the music.

359
00:19:40,471 --> 00:19:42,598
Well, what's the point
of being a musician

360
00:19:42,623 --> 00:19:44,750
if you don't use it to get fucked?

361
00:19:44,775 --> 00:19:46,860
In every sense of the word.

362
00:19:46,885 --> 00:19:48,954
I just love playing,

363
00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:51,707
and I wanna be the best that I can be

364
00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:53,527
and for everyone to hear it.

365
00:19:54,130 --> 00:19:56,677
How incredibly noble.

366
00:19:57,088 --> 00:19:58,801
Beth, right?

367
00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:01,480
- Yeah, sit down for a sec.
- Okay.

368
00:20:01,967 --> 00:20:03,969
I have to ask you.

369
00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:06,910
If it's all about the music for you,

370
00:20:07,431 --> 00:20:08,730
why do this?

371
00:20:08,755 --> 00:20:11,258
Why not just practice even harder?

372
00:20:11,283 --> 00:20:13,771
She wants to take the fast track, Louis.

373
00:20:13,796 --> 00:20:15,191
That's what it is. I mean,

374
00:20:15,216 --> 00:20:18,004
why take the stairs when
you can take the elevator?

375
00:20:18,029 --> 00:20:20,502
Ah, but the elevator doesn't just go up,

376
00:20:20,527 --> 00:20:22,408
it also goes down.

377
00:20:22,433 --> 00:20:25,474
Beth has made a great
effort to come here tonight

378
00:20:25,499 --> 00:20:27,136
and sign a deal.

379
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:30,713
Now, you and I have
already made our deal.

380
00:20:30,738 --> 00:20:32,955
So I think it's only right that you left

381
00:20:32,980 --> 00:20:35,276
so that Beth and I can do ours.

382
00:20:36,238 --> 00:20:39,315
I guess I'm just very ambitious.

383
00:20:39,340 --> 00:20:41,924
And with streaming, it's really hard

384
00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:43,659
to get a major label to back you.

385
00:20:43,933 --> 00:20:48,340
I'm on Bandcamp and SoundCloud and...

386
00:20:49,035 --> 00:20:51,166
I'm just looking for all the
help I can get, you know?

387
00:20:51,191 --> 00:20:53,562
Well, what if you approached some
of the mini-majors, you know?

388
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:54,856
Because they can get your stuff...

389
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:56,673
She wants to take the elevator!

390
00:20:56,698 --> 00:20:59,338
She's been very clear about that.

391
00:20:59,363 --> 00:21:03,471
She's always been a
"fuck the stairs" kind of girl.

392
00:21:03,612 --> 00:21:06,949
Now, I'm cool with that,
and Beth is cool with that.

393
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:10,644
The only one apparently
not cool with that is you.

394
00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:13,397
And I think it's time
now that you fuck off

395
00:21:13,422 --> 00:21:17,371
and let Beth and I start
the adventure of a lifetime.

396
00:21:31,152 --> 00:21:36,363
You don't need to worry about reading
the boring terms and conditions.

397
00:21:36,388 --> 00:21:41,484
Just sign, and know that we will
just be amazed at your talent.

398
00:21:55,848 --> 00:21:58,057
Hey, um, Beth, before you sign that,

399
00:21:58,082 --> 00:22:00,668
I do have to get out of here,
but I just have a...

400
00:22:00,693 --> 00:22:02,277
It's kind of a weird favor.

401
00:22:02,302 --> 00:22:07,549
Um, I would love to experience
your musical talent firsthand.

402
00:22:07,574 --> 00:22:10,730
So... would you sing me a song?

403
00:22:11,449 --> 00:22:13,040
Which one did you have in mind?

404
00:22:13,065 --> 00:22:15,985
Oh, um, how about "O Christmas Tree"?

405
00:22:16,010 --> 00:22:20,152
Sure. It's... seasonal, I guess.

406
00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:25,168
? O Christmas tree ?

407
00:22:25,193 --> 00:22:28,656
? O Christmas tree ?

408
00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:34,353
? Thy leaves are so unchanging ?

409
00:22:35,617 --> 00:22:38,082
? Not only green ?

410
00:22:38,107 --> 00:22:41,527
? When summer's here ?

411
00:22:41,552 --> 00:22:44,347
? But also when ?

412
00:22:44,372 --> 00:22:47,709
? 'Tis cold and drear ?

413
00:22:48,191 --> 00:22:50,536
? O Christmas tree ?

414
00:22:50,561 --> 00:22:54,096
? O Christmas tree ?

415
00:22:54,121 --> 00:22:58,268
? Thy leaves are so unchanging ?

416
00:22:58,293 --> 00:23:02,064
- I mean, she's pretty good.
- Don't be a pussy.

417
00:23:02,089 --> 00:23:04,566
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com