1
00:00:01,228 --> 00:00:03,585
- Here we go.
- For many kids,

2
00:00:03,588 --> 00:00:06,551
Christmas morning wasthe
most exciting day of the year.

3
00:00:06,554 --> 00:00:09,575
That's only because most
kids don't know the joy

4
00:00:09,578 --> 00:00:12,500
of getting their college midterms back.

5
00:00:12,503 --> 00:00:15,704
It also didn't hurt that Dr.
Sturgis looked like an elf.

6
00:00:17,502 --> 00:00:20,240
Nice work, Sheldon.

7
00:00:20,243 --> 00:00:21,976
Now,

8
00:00:21,979 --> 00:00:25,614
you'll notice that your
grades are lower than expected.

9
00:00:25,617 --> 00:00:28,978
That's because Sheldon did so well,

10
00:00:28,980 --> 00:00:30,513
he broke the curve,

11
00:00:30,515 --> 00:00:33,984
turning your A's and
B's into B's and C's.

12
00:00:37,989 --> 00:00:39,823
They don't seem happy about it.

13
00:00:40,591 --> 00:00:42,425
Maybe you can give them candy.

14
00:00:55,340 --> 00:01:01,710
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
... www.Addic7ed.com ...

15
00:01:01,713 --> 00:01:05,223
Okay. This is where I spend all my time,

16
00:01:05,226 --> 00:01:08,520
yet somehow my ex-wife owns half of it.

17
00:01:08,523 --> 00:01:10,886
Mm, not bitter at all. Good for you.

18
00:01:10,888 --> 00:01:14,192
We got baseball over here
and got football right there

19
00:01:14,195 --> 00:01:16,225
and then hunting and
fishing in the back.

20
00:01:16,227 --> 00:01:17,895
Oh, yeah.

21
00:01:17,898 --> 00:01:20,160
And this hockey puck has been here

22
00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:22,196
since Jimmy Carter was president.

23
00:01:22,199 --> 00:01:24,266
You'd think a sport with
a bunch of white boys

24
00:01:24,268 --> 00:01:27,936
beating each other up would
be more popular in Texas.

25
00:01:27,938 --> 00:01:31,073
So, you want to head out?

26
00:01:31,075 --> 00:01:34,276
Oh, my grandson's been
wanting some weights.

27
00:01:34,278 --> 00:01:35,811
Sheldon?

28
00:01:35,813 --> 00:01:38,947
Hell, can't he just lift
a soup can or something?

29
00:01:38,949 --> 00:01:41,583
The other grandson. The
pretty one with the hair.

30
00:01:41,585 --> 00:01:43,752
Ah. All right. Well, send him by.

31
00:01:43,754 --> 00:01:45,840
We'll give him the family
and friends discount.

32
00:01:45,843 --> 00:01:47,289
How big a discount?

33
00:01:47,291 --> 00:01:51,293
Well, uh, depends on, uh,
how much fun we have tonight.

34
00:01:51,295 --> 00:01:54,563
Are you putting a
price on my affections?

35
00:01:54,565 --> 00:01:56,281
Yeah, kinda.

36
00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:57,800
You're gonna regret it.

37
00:01:57,802 --> 00:01:59,501
I'm really fun.

38
00:02:02,139 --> 00:02:04,786
...fever down, try to
let the body heal itself.

39
00:02:04,789 --> 00:02:07,376
Keep me advised. Picard out.

40
00:02:07,378 --> 00:02:08,960
Captain, the neutrino...

41
00:02:10,781 --> 00:02:12,681
Cooper residence.

42
00:02:12,683 --> 00:02:14,789
- Hello, Sheldon.
- Dr. Sturgis.

43
00:02:14,792 --> 00:02:16,766
I'd love to talk to you,
but I'm right in the middle

44
00:02:16,768 --> 00:02:19,481
of Star Trek: The Next
Generation. It's a good one.

45
00:02:19,484 --> 00:02:20,688
Geordi goes missing,

46
00:02:20,691 --> 00:02:23,225
but Wesley Crusher has a plan
to use neutrinos to locate him,

47
00:02:23,227 --> 00:02:25,632
since they'd be visible
to Geordi's visor.

48
00:02:25,635 --> 00:02:28,325
I was actually calling
to speak to your father.

49
00:02:28,328 --> 00:02:31,531
But I'm glad you're having
fun with your friends.

50
00:02:31,534 --> 00:02:33,103
Hang on. I'll go get him.

51
00:02:34,479 --> 00:02:36,412
Dad! Phone call!

52
00:02:36,415 --> 00:02:38,582
Even though Dr. Sturgis was confused,

53
00:02:38,585 --> 00:02:41,710
one day, Wesley Crusher
really would be my friend.

54
00:02:41,712 --> 00:02:43,351
Neat, huh?

55
00:02:44,415 --> 00:02:45,848
Hey, John.

56
00:02:45,850 --> 00:02:48,083
George. John Sturgis here.

57
00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:49,981
That's why I said "Hey, John."

58
00:02:49,984 --> 00:02:51,086
Great.

59
00:02:51,088 --> 00:02:55,090
I was wondering if we could
go out for a beer and talk.

60
00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:57,159
Oh. Well, aren't we talking right now?

61
00:02:57,161 --> 00:02:59,361
Yes, but we had so much fun last time,

62
00:02:59,363 --> 00:03:01,096
I thought we could do it again.

63
00:03:01,098 --> 00:03:03,031
Gee, John, last time, you got drunk

64
00:03:03,033 --> 00:03:05,234
and threw up in my glove compartment.

65
00:03:05,236 --> 00:03:06,902
Did I?

66
00:03:06,904 --> 00:03:09,671
Well, while I don't remember
any of that happening,

67
00:03:09,673 --> 00:03:12,203
I promise to be on my best behavior.

68
00:03:12,206 --> 00:03:14,106
And the drinks are on me.

69
00:03:14,109 --> 00:03:16,077
Na zdrowie!

70
00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:20,983
That's, uh, "to our health" in Russian.

71
00:03:20,985 --> 00:03:23,285
This is not the place to talk Russian.

72
00:03:23,287 --> 00:03:25,487
So, what's up?

73
00:03:25,489 --> 00:03:29,442
Well, Sheldon has been
doing extraordinarily well

74
00:03:29,445 --> 00:03:31,193
in his college physics class.

75
00:03:31,195 --> 00:03:33,428
I know. He made me put
his test up on the fridge,

76
00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:36,198
next to Missy's drawing
of her hand as a turkey.

77
00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:41,457
So, uh, the university has taken
notice of Sheldon's talents,

78
00:03:41,460 --> 00:03:44,339
and they would very much like him

79
00:03:44,341 --> 00:03:46,942
to enroll full-time.

80
00:03:46,944 --> 00:03:49,778
Yeah, we've been down this road, John.

81
00:03:49,780 --> 00:03:51,480
Sheldon's only ten.

82
00:03:51,482 --> 00:03:54,950
Mary and I both have jobs.
We just can't make it work.

83
00:03:54,952 --> 00:03:57,331
Well, that's why they
asked me to speak to you.

84
00:03:57,334 --> 00:03:59,067
They're looking to sweeten the pot.

85
00:03:59,070 --> 00:04:01,558
That's a gambling metaphor.

86
00:04:01,561 --> 00:04:04,395
A lesser-known version
is "sweeten the kitty."

87
00:04:04,398 --> 00:04:07,127
I assume the difference is regional,

88
00:04:07,130 --> 00:04:09,265
but I'm no etymologist.

89
00:04:09,268 --> 00:04:11,900
This beer is yummy. Mmm!

90
00:04:11,902 --> 00:04:14,195
So, what are they offering, John?

91
00:04:14,198 --> 00:04:16,198
They thought it would
be easier on the family

92
00:04:16,201 --> 00:04:18,968
if you were employed at the university.

93
00:04:18,971 --> 00:04:21,071
- Really?
- Yes, that way,

94
00:04:21,074 --> 00:04:22,511
you could drive Sheldon

95
00:04:22,513 --> 00:04:25,156
and keep an eye on him while he's there.

96
00:04:25,159 --> 00:04:26,644
But I'm a football coach.

97
00:04:26,647 --> 00:04:28,013
Does the school even have a team?

98
00:04:28,016 --> 00:04:29,216
Oh, yes, they do.

99
00:04:29,219 --> 00:04:30,685
They-they don't win much,

100
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:34,122
but they lead the league in injuries.

101
00:04:34,124 --> 00:04:37,592
Well, guess that's a thing.

102
00:04:37,594 --> 00:04:39,194
Okay.

103
00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:42,597
Anyway, I believe
they're willing to, uh,

104
00:04:42,599 --> 00:04:47,068
exceed your current salary
by a substantial amount.

105
00:04:47,070 --> 00:04:48,390
Is that so?

106
00:04:48,393 --> 00:04:49,738
Yes.

107
00:04:49,740 --> 00:04:51,960
They thought it would incentivize you.

108
00:04:51,963 --> 00:04:54,731
Well, John, they're not wrong.

109
00:04:54,734 --> 00:04:57,568
Excellent!

110
00:04:57,571 --> 00:04:59,671
Na zdrowie.

111
00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:02,007
What the hell. Na zdrowie.

112
00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:05,554
How was Dr. Sturgis?

113
00:05:05,556 --> 00:05:07,570
He's fine.

114
00:05:07,573 --> 00:05:08,857
What did you two talk about?

115
00:05:08,859 --> 00:05:10,992
I don't know. S-Stuff.

116
00:05:10,994 --> 00:05:12,460
Science stuff?

117
00:05:12,462 --> 00:05:14,362
No. Just regular stuff.

118
00:05:14,364 --> 00:05:17,687
Ooh, I bet he talked about
me. What did he say about me?

119
00:05:17,690 --> 00:05:19,484
Sheldon, everything isn't about you.

120
00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:21,535
Okay? Go to your room.

121
00:05:21,538 --> 00:05:23,139
Yes, sir.

122
00:05:23,940 --> 00:05:25,806
What'd y'all talk about?

123
00:05:25,809 --> 00:05:27,109
Sheldon.

124
00:05:27,112 --> 00:05:28,777
Oh.

125
00:05:30,213 --> 00:05:33,615
The university wants to
offer me a coaching job

126
00:05:33,617 --> 00:05:36,242
if it'll help to get Sheldon
to go there full-time.

127
00:05:36,245 --> 00:05:38,219
Oh.

128
00:05:38,221 --> 00:05:39,965
We talked about this.

129
00:05:39,968 --> 00:05:42,000
- College might be too much for him.
- I know.

130
00:05:42,003 --> 00:05:43,337
That's why I'd be there, you know,

131
00:05:43,339 --> 00:05:44,925
to help him over the rough spots.

132
00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:46,494
I don't know, George.

133
00:05:46,496 --> 00:05:49,064
Can't hurt to see what the offer is.

134
00:05:49,066 --> 00:05:51,232
There are more important
things than money.

135
00:05:51,234 --> 00:05:55,437
That's cute. You should
knit that on a pillow.

136
00:05:55,439 --> 00:05:58,341
Maybe I'll push that
pillow over your face.

137
00:06:03,223 --> 00:06:05,223
Scuse me. You Mr. Ballard?

138
00:06:05,225 --> 00:06:06,458
Yeah, that'd be me.

139
00:06:06,460 --> 00:06:09,207
I'm Georgie, Connie Tucker's grandson.

140
00:06:09,210 --> 00:06:10,328
Oh, yeah.

141
00:06:10,330 --> 00:06:11,796
The hair. Very pretty.

142
00:06:11,798 --> 00:06:14,432
Hang on a second. I got to
deal with this guy, okay?

143
00:06:14,434 --> 00:06:16,387
- Take your time.
- So,

144
00:06:16,390 --> 00:06:18,357
here you go. Here's the
rod you were asking about.

145
00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:19,759
Now, that's a good choice.

146
00:06:19,762 --> 00:06:21,071
- Very solid.
- Mm. Mm.

147
00:06:21,074 --> 00:06:22,774
And then I just brought this one along

148
00:06:22,776 --> 00:06:25,377
to show you, just in
case, later, you know,

149
00:06:25,379 --> 00:06:27,245
you get serious about fishing.

150
00:06:27,247 --> 00:06:29,774
Well... I'm pretty serious.

151
00:06:29,777 --> 00:06:33,251
Yeah. You know, I-I had that feeling.

152
00:06:33,253 --> 00:06:34,886
Wh-What's your name?

153
00:06:34,888 --> 00:06:35,920
- Jim.
- Jim.

154
00:06:35,922 --> 00:06:38,490
Well, Jim, this rod is a little pricey.

155
00:06:38,492 --> 00:06:39,871
It's double the cost of that one,

156
00:06:39,874 --> 00:06:41,459
but it's worth every penny.

157
00:06:41,461 --> 00:06:43,766
And, uh, it's the rod I use.

158
00:06:43,769 --> 00:06:45,563
Well, then that's the one I want.

159
00:06:45,565 --> 00:06:47,074
Well, that's a good choice.

160
00:06:47,077 --> 00:06:48,293
There you go.

161
00:06:48,296 --> 00:06:50,534
Now, with a rod like this,
you want to use live bait,

162
00:06:50,537 --> 00:06:51,803
and we don't carry that here.

163
00:06:51,805 --> 00:06:55,801
But down the street is
Ed's Bait and Tackle Shop.

164
00:06:55,804 --> 00:06:58,805
And if you tell him Dale sent
you, he'll take care of you.

165
00:06:58,808 --> 00:07:00,102
I appreciate that.

166
00:07:00,105 --> 00:07:02,347
So, take her over there to Bernice,

167
00:07:02,349 --> 00:07:05,283
- and she'll ring you up.
- Thanks.

168
00:07:05,285 --> 00:07:06,543
Hey.

169
00:07:06,546 --> 00:07:08,501
And-and bring me back some catfish.

170
00:07:08,504 --> 00:07:10,152
You bet.

171
00:07:10,155 --> 00:07:11,318
Yeah.

172
00:07:11,321 --> 00:07:12,555
You're a really good salesman.

173
00:07:12,558 --> 00:07:13,758
Well, yeah. Not only that,

174
00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:16,494
I get a kickback on
everybody I send down to Ed's.

175
00:07:16,496 --> 00:07:17,996
You're awesome.

176
00:07:17,998 --> 00:07:19,543
I know.

177
00:07:21,401 --> 00:07:23,968
Ooh. 35 cents off Goober.

178
00:07:23,970 --> 00:07:25,087
What's Goober?

179
00:07:25,090 --> 00:07:26,938
Peanut butter and jelly in the same jar.

180
00:07:26,941 --> 00:07:29,107
Think about how much time we'd save.

181
00:07:29,109 --> 00:07:30,175
Hey.

182
00:07:30,177 --> 00:07:31,242
Dale give you a good price

183
00:07:31,244 --> 00:07:32,644
on those weights?

184
00:07:32,646 --> 00:07:34,446
Better. He gave me a job.

185
00:07:34,449 --> 00:07:36,785
Damn. He did have fun last night.

186
00:07:36,788 --> 00:07:38,816
- What kind of job?
- Salesman.

187
00:07:38,819 --> 00:07:41,386
Well, congratulations.

188
00:07:41,388 --> 00:07:42,649
I'm gonna learn a lot from him.

189
00:07:42,652 --> 00:07:44,355
He's real good at getting
people to spend money

190
00:07:44,357 --> 00:07:45,623
on stuff they don't need.

191
00:07:45,625 --> 00:07:48,793
Well, I don't know if I
like the sound of that.

192
00:07:48,795 --> 00:07:51,630
You know what I like
the sound of? Ka-ching.

193
00:07:56,436 --> 00:07:58,670
Well, thank you.

194
00:07:58,672 --> 00:08:01,339
That's a very generous offer.

195
00:08:01,341 --> 00:08:03,341
Let me discuss it with my family,

196
00:08:03,343 --> 00:08:05,376
and I'll get back to you.

197
00:08:05,378 --> 00:08:07,979
Bye.

198
00:08:07,981 --> 00:08:09,981
What was that about?

199
00:08:09,983 --> 00:08:11,644
Are you my family?

200
00:08:11,647 --> 00:08:13,017
I don't know.

201
00:08:13,019 --> 00:08:15,821
I like to think of
myself as your work wife.

202
00:08:18,157 --> 00:08:21,658
So, that's why I wanted
to give you a heads-up.

203
00:08:21,661 --> 00:08:24,040
I got to tell you, George,
this is a real blow.

204
00:08:24,043 --> 00:08:27,180
Appreciate it. But, uh,
yeah, you'll find someone.

205
00:08:27,183 --> 00:08:29,501
There's a lot of good coaches out there.

206
00:08:29,503 --> 00:08:31,803
Not you. Sheldon.

207
00:08:31,805 --> 00:08:33,605
Sheldon?

208
00:08:33,607 --> 00:08:36,508
I thought everyone would be
thrilled for him to leave.

209
00:08:36,510 --> 00:08:37,876
Don't get me wrong,

210
00:08:37,879 --> 00:08:40,512
your kid is a royal pain in the ass.

211
00:08:40,514 --> 00:08:43,027
I have a problem with
this permission slip.

212
00:08:43,030 --> 00:08:44,649
You didn't cut them in half evenly.

213
00:08:44,651 --> 00:08:47,243
Mine has two holes, and
Derek here just has one.

214
00:08:47,246 --> 00:08:48,419
Then trade.

215
00:08:48,421 --> 00:08:50,909
Then Derek will have two
holes, and mine will have one.

216
00:08:50,912 --> 00:08:53,329
You're not going to
the water park anyway!

217
00:08:53,332 --> 00:08:56,884
However, his state test
scores are so extraordinary,

218
00:08:56,887 --> 00:08:59,297
the school actually gets
more funding because of it.

219
00:08:59,299 --> 00:09:00,426
You serious?

220
00:09:00,429 --> 00:09:03,918
Serious as the fire alarms,
which are now functional.

221
00:09:03,921 --> 00:09:08,323
And always were, if anyone asks.

222
00:09:08,326 --> 00:09:11,634
I don't know what to tell you, Tom.

223
00:09:11,637 --> 00:09:14,485
They're offering me a pretty nice raise.

224
00:09:14,488 --> 00:09:16,899
Well, I can't afford to lose Sheldon,

225
00:09:16,902 --> 00:09:20,084
so what's it gonna take
to keep y'all here, George?

226
00:09:22,289 --> 00:09:24,122
Thank you.

227
00:09:24,124 --> 00:09:27,397
I will discuss it with my
family and get back to you.

228
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,600
Good.

229
00:09:35,714 --> 00:09:38,282
Bit of a kerfuffle at the church today.

230
00:09:38,285 --> 00:09:40,505
Pastor Jeff promised Patricia Richards

231
00:09:40,507 --> 00:09:42,829
she could sing "How
Great Thou Art" on Sunday,

232
00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:45,040
but I had already
printed in the bulletin

233
00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:47,245
that Karen Baker was gonna sing it.

234
00:09:47,248 --> 00:09:49,884
They agreed to a duet, but it was

235
00:09:49,887 --> 00:09:51,516
touch and go.

236
00:09:51,518 --> 00:09:53,446
- Mm.
- What's a kerfuffle?

237
00:09:53,449 --> 00:09:54,985
Not that.

238
00:09:54,988 --> 00:09:55,987
Hey.

239
00:09:55,989 --> 00:09:58,058
Hey. How was your first day at work?

240
00:09:58,061 --> 00:09:59,057
Amazing.

241
00:09:59,059 --> 00:10:01,459
I made $38 on commissions alone.

242
00:10:01,461 --> 00:10:03,399
Well, good for you.

243
00:10:03,402 --> 00:10:04,962
What's for dinner?

244
00:10:04,964 --> 00:10:06,126
Meatloaf.

245
00:10:06,129 --> 00:10:08,466
Oh. I think I'm gonna go out to eat.

246
00:10:08,468 --> 00:10:09,767
No, you are not.

247
00:10:09,769 --> 00:10:11,563
We're having dinner as a family.

248
00:10:11,566 --> 00:10:13,838
Yeah, but I got money now
and I can do what I want.

249
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:16,441
And what I want is a
chimichanga at Chi-Chi's.

250
00:10:16,443 --> 00:10:18,171
I want a chimichanga from Chi-Chi's.

251
00:10:18,174 --> 00:10:19,907
They do have a good margarita.

252
00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:22,246
You are eating here. So are you.

253
00:10:22,248 --> 00:10:24,582
I don't care what you do.

254
00:10:24,584 --> 00:10:25,616
Later.

255
00:10:25,618 --> 00:10:27,585
Georgie Cooper.

256
00:10:27,587 --> 00:10:29,637
Do not walk out of that door.

257
00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:30,798
Georgie!

258
00:10:30,801 --> 00:10:32,757
That's a kerfuffle.

259
00:10:32,759 --> 00:10:35,560
Missy, let this be a lesson to you.

260
00:10:35,562 --> 00:10:37,935
The love of money is
the root of all evil.

261
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:39,126
Hey!

262
00:10:39,129 --> 00:10:40,722
You would not believe the wheelin'

263
00:10:40,725 --> 00:10:42,282
and dealin' I did today.

264
00:10:42,285 --> 00:10:43,735
I'm playing the high school

265
00:10:43,737 --> 00:10:45,970
and the university against each other.

266
00:10:45,972 --> 00:10:47,933
Hey, what do you say
we go out to dinner?

267
00:10:47,936 --> 00:10:49,173
Chi-Chi's is good.

268
00:10:49,175 --> 00:10:51,394
Ooh, chimichangas.

269
00:10:56,149 --> 00:10:59,183
I've asked you all here
because we got a situation.

270
00:10:59,185 --> 00:11:03,454
George Cooper's considering
a job at a college and...

271
00:11:03,456 --> 00:11:05,189
taking Sheldon with him.

272
00:11:05,191 --> 00:11:07,282
- Yes!
- Is it far away?

273
00:11:07,285 --> 00:11:09,423
- I hope it's far away.
- Maybe it's overseas.

274
00:11:09,426 --> 00:11:11,282
- Ooh, like Fiji.
- Hold your horses.

275
00:11:11,285 --> 00:11:15,225
If Sheldon walks out that
door, our test scores drop hard.

276
00:11:15,228 --> 00:11:17,829
That affects funding,
which affects your salaries.

277
00:11:17,832 --> 00:11:20,909
Ugh. Well, how can we help?

278
00:11:20,912 --> 00:11:23,813
Y'all need to make George
and Sheldon so happy here

279
00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:25,376
they want to stay.

280
00:11:25,378 --> 00:11:26,511
Oh, come on.

281
00:11:26,513 --> 00:11:28,379
Isn't there anything else we can do?

282
00:11:28,381 --> 00:11:29,781
Yeah, Mr. Givens.

283
00:11:29,783 --> 00:11:31,983
You could do a better job at
teaching the other students

284
00:11:31,985 --> 00:11:36,455
so we don't rely on one boy
to pull up everyone's grades.

285
00:11:38,591 --> 00:11:41,359
Fine. We'll be nice to Sheldon.

286
00:11:42,926 --> 00:11:45,860
# I've been working
for the big man #

287
00:11:45,863 --> 00:11:48,599
# All the livelong day #

288
00:11:48,601 --> 00:11:51,298
# I've been working
for the big man #

289
00:11:51,301 --> 00:11:53,969
# Just to wash my sins away. #

290
00:11:53,972 --> 00:11:55,838
Hey, Mary. What's up?

291
00:11:55,841 --> 00:11:58,075
Can I speak with you
about a spiritual matter?

292
00:11:58,078 --> 00:11:59,712
My sweet spot. Sit.

293
00:12:00,649 --> 00:12:01,782
What's the buzz?

294
00:12:01,785 --> 00:12:03,949
Tell me, what's a-happenin'?

295
00:12:05,287 --> 00:12:06,553
Jesus Christ Superstar.

296
00:12:06,556 --> 00:12:07,688
It's a great show.

297
00:12:07,691 --> 00:12:10,188
Well, um...

298
00:12:10,190 --> 00:12:13,624
I'm concerned George and Georgie

299
00:12:13,626 --> 00:12:16,060
might be succumbing to the sin of greed.

300
00:12:16,062 --> 00:12:17,376
Ooh, that's a biggie.

301
00:12:17,379 --> 00:12:19,497
Ever since Georgie started making money,

302
00:12:19,499 --> 00:12:21,805
he's been very disrespectful.

303
00:12:21,808 --> 00:12:24,769
Meanwhile, my husband's so busy
trying to land a better job,

304
00:12:24,772 --> 00:12:27,305
he doesn't even care how
it might affect Sheldon.

305
00:12:27,308 --> 00:12:28,673
I'm sorry to hear that.

306
00:12:28,675 --> 00:12:31,503
In Luke 12:15, Jesus says, "Watch out.

307
00:12:31,506 --> 00:12:34,274
Be on your guard against
all kinds of greed.

308
00:12:34,277 --> 00:12:36,970
Life does not consist in an
abundance of possessions."

309
00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:38,907
I know, but it seems
like the whole world

310
00:12:38,910 --> 00:12:41,152
is sending the opposite message.

311
00:12:41,155 --> 00:12:42,353
Don't I know it.

312
00:12:42,355 --> 00:12:43,888
Just the other day, I was at the mall

313
00:12:43,890 --> 00:12:45,623
and a toaster oven caught my eye.

314
00:12:45,625 --> 00:12:47,962
Next thing you know, I
was in line to buy it,

315
00:12:47,965 --> 00:12:50,272
and I realized I have a toaster

316
00:12:50,275 --> 00:12:53,009
and I have an oven. What am I doing?

317
00:12:53,012 --> 00:12:54,899
Turns out Satan doesn't just hide out

318
00:12:54,901 --> 00:12:56,295
in honky-tonks and casinos.

319
00:12:56,298 --> 00:12:58,665
Sometimes he's in the
appliance section of Sears.

320
00:12:58,668 --> 00:13:02,957
Well, if it's everywhere,
how can we fight it?

321
00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:04,962
We may not be able to control the world,

322
00:13:04,965 --> 00:13:07,318
but we can control our homes.

323
00:13:07,321 --> 00:13:09,321
It's up to us to create an environment

324
00:13:09,324 --> 00:13:11,613
where the sin of greed
can find no purchase.

325
00:13:11,616 --> 00:13:13,415
Is that what you've done in your home?

326
00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:15,519
Well, I do make my toast vertically,

327
00:13:15,521 --> 00:13:17,121
two slices at a time.

328
00:13:17,123 --> 00:13:20,191
Take that, Satan.

329
00:13:25,197 --> 00:13:27,364
Then Geordi goes missing,
but Wesley Crusher

330
00:13:27,366 --> 00:13:29,730
has a plan to use
neutrinos to locate him,

331
00:13:29,733 --> 00:13:32,066
since they'd be visible
to Geordi's visor.

332
00:13:32,069 --> 00:13:33,113
Is that so?

333
00:13:33,116 --> 00:13:34,215
It is.

334
00:13:34,218 --> 00:13:35,555
I recorded the episode.

335
00:13:35,558 --> 00:13:37,006
I'll show it to you tonight.

336
00:13:37,009 --> 00:13:38,152
That's okay.

337
00:13:38,155 --> 00:13:39,683
You did such a good job explaining it,

338
00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:41,045
I feel like I saw it.

339
00:13:41,047 --> 00:13:42,380
You're still seeing it.

340
00:13:44,078 --> 00:13:45,211
What's this?

341
00:13:47,119 --> 00:13:49,058
"Reserved for Coach Cooper."

342
00:13:50,507 --> 00:13:52,196
Would you look at that. They gave me

343
00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:53,857
a parking spot right by the door.

344
00:13:53,859 --> 00:13:55,074
Why?

345
00:13:55,077 --> 00:13:56,743
I guess they're starting to appreciate

346
00:13:56,746 --> 00:13:58,308
my talents around here.

347
00:13:58,311 --> 00:13:59,488
Why?

348
00:13:59,491 --> 00:14:01,434
"BY BARRETT STRONG PLAYING)

349
00:14:01,436 --> 00:14:03,533
Oh! There's my man.

350
00:14:03,536 --> 00:14:05,402
Where?

351
00:14:05,404 --> 00:14:06,603
You, silly.

352
00:14:06,605 --> 00:14:09,440
I'm neither a man, nor
silly, but all right.

353
00:14:09,442 --> 00:14:12,009
You're so funny, Sheldon.

354
00:14:12,011 --> 00:14:13,544
Oh, well, that I am.

355
00:14:13,546 --> 00:14:17,481
These are the flyers for
the canned food drive.

356
00:14:17,483 --> 00:14:19,363
And, Sheldon, you'll be happy to know,

357
00:14:19,366 --> 00:14:21,284
I made sure they were cut perfectly,

358
00:14:21,287 --> 00:14:25,089
so that each one has
exactly one and a half holes.

359
00:14:25,091 --> 00:14:27,224
But mine has half a hole on the top,

360
00:14:27,226 --> 00:14:30,228
and Derek's here has
half a hole on the bottom.

361
00:14:34,608 --> 00:14:37,784
Ooh. What do we have here?

362
00:14:39,157 --> 00:14:41,037
Ooh.

363
00:14:49,087 --> 00:14:51,447
Hey, how come you get
to park by the door?

364
00:14:51,450 --> 00:14:55,319
Don't bother me, Wayne. I'm sitting.

365
00:14:55,321 --> 00:14:57,321
And you got a new chair, too?

366
00:15:01,154 --> 00:15:03,660
Are we going to watch
an educational film?

367
00:15:03,662 --> 00:15:05,829
We're gonna watch Star Trek.

368
00:15:05,831 --> 00:15:07,731
Star Trek in school?

369
00:15:07,733 --> 00:15:08,889
Wowie Zowie.

370
00:15:12,405 --> 00:15:13,542
What's here?

371
00:15:15,041 --> 00:15:17,875
Ooh, a golden whistle.

372
00:15:17,877 --> 00:15:20,277
What the hell is going on?

373
00:15:21,914 --> 00:15:24,048
You wanted to see me?

374
00:15:24,050 --> 00:15:26,750
When don't I want to see
you, Sheldon? Come in.

375
00:15:26,752 --> 00:15:30,108
I have something I'd like to give you.

376
00:15:31,357 --> 00:15:34,162
This is a key to the faculty restroom.

377
00:15:34,165 --> 00:15:35,959
No students allowed.

378
00:15:35,961 --> 00:15:37,628
One person at a time.

379
00:15:37,630 --> 00:15:39,296
And unlike the other restrooms,

380
00:15:39,298 --> 00:15:42,366
this one gets cleaned every night.

381
00:15:44,537 --> 00:15:45,602
Thank you.

382
00:15:45,604 --> 00:15:47,371
No, Sheldon.

383
00:15:47,373 --> 00:15:48,539
Thank you.

384
00:15:48,541 --> 00:15:50,174
You're welcome.

385
00:15:55,157 --> 00:15:56,358
It's all yours.

386
00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:08,390
I think this show is
teaching you bad lessons.

387
00:16:08,392 --> 00:16:10,392
Don't worry. I'm a slow learner.

388
00:16:10,395 --> 00:16:12,062
Fascinating.

389
00:16:14,331 --> 00:16:17,699
Is that Goober? Where did you get that?

390
00:16:17,701 --> 00:16:19,866
Georgie got it for me. He's rich now.

391
00:16:19,869 --> 00:16:21,101
That is it!

392
00:16:21,104 --> 00:16:23,859
I am taking this house
back from the devil.

393
00:16:26,425 --> 00:16:27,558
Hey.

394
00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:30,813
I've been accused

395
00:16:30,815 --> 00:16:33,148
of overreacting from time to time.

396
00:16:33,150 --> 00:16:36,886
But perhaps it's hereditary,
because look at my mommy go.

397
00:17:06,450 --> 00:17:07,950
Aw.

398
00:17:07,952 --> 00:17:09,702
What happened to all our stuff?

399
00:17:09,705 --> 00:17:12,054
Mom went nuts and took everything away.

400
00:17:12,056 --> 00:17:14,823
How am I supposed to
watch Professor Proton?

401
00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:17,192
All my music and magazines are gone.

402
00:17:17,194 --> 00:17:19,062
Where is your mother?

403
00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:22,731
You want to explain yourself?

404
00:17:24,768 --> 00:17:27,863
I am taking our house back
from the forces of evil.

405
00:17:27,866 --> 00:17:29,699
What's evil about Black Sabbath?

406
00:17:29,702 --> 00:17:30,827
You're not helping.

407
00:17:30,830 --> 00:17:33,041
Greed has entered into your hearts,

408
00:17:33,043 --> 00:17:34,460
especially you two.

409
00:17:34,463 --> 00:17:35,711
It has not.

410
00:17:35,713 --> 00:17:37,212
Is that a gold whistle?

411
00:17:37,214 --> 00:17:38,695
Huh? No.

412
00:17:38,698 --> 00:17:41,149
It's... it's a gift.

413
00:17:41,151 --> 00:17:43,318
Now, where's our stuff? We want it back.

414
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:44,453
I'm not telling.

415
00:17:44,455 --> 00:17:46,421
Mary, don't make me ask again.

416
00:17:46,423 --> 00:17:47,737
Or what?

417
00:17:49,426 --> 00:17:50,557
What?

418
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:53,294
Your daughter lost her mind
and we want to watch TV.

419
00:17:53,297 --> 00:17:55,497
But... Uh, Dale's coming over.

420
00:17:55,499 --> 00:17:57,479
- Great.
- Love that guy.

421
00:18:00,971 --> 00:18:03,372
Okay, we got a problem.

422
00:18:03,374 --> 00:18:05,390
I don't know what kind of

423
00:18:05,393 --> 00:18:07,546
religious gobbledygook
you're going through,

424
00:18:07,549 --> 00:18:09,778
but it is starting to affect me.

425
00:18:09,780 --> 00:18:12,921
- Your hands aren't clean in this.
- I beg your pardon.

426
00:18:12,924 --> 00:18:15,588
Your new friend Dale
is encouraging Georgie

427
00:18:15,591 --> 00:18:17,112
to be obsessed with money.

428
00:18:17,115 --> 00:18:18,314
Your husband's no good at it.

429
00:18:18,317 --> 00:18:19,971
You ought to be happy your son is.

430
00:18:19,974 --> 00:18:22,108
George is no prize either.

431
00:18:22,111 --> 00:18:24,663
Not worrying about
what's right for Sheldon.

432
00:18:24,666 --> 00:18:26,948
Well, what do you
think is right for him?

433
00:18:26,951 --> 00:18:28,450
Honestly?

434
00:18:28,453 --> 00:18:30,674
I don't know.

435
00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:33,057
I know that he's bored in high school,

436
00:18:33,060 --> 00:18:35,846
but he's just so young for college.

437
00:18:35,849 --> 00:18:37,268
Well, it sounds like they're trying

438
00:18:37,271 --> 00:18:39,135
to set George up there for him.

439
00:18:39,138 --> 00:18:41,138
I know.

440
00:18:43,511 --> 00:18:45,596
Maybe it's me.

441
00:18:45,599 --> 00:18:49,434
Maybe I'm not ready
for my baby to grow up.

442
00:18:49,437 --> 00:18:51,971
No mother ever is.

443
00:18:57,460 --> 00:18:59,838
I just want to keep my family safe.

444
00:18:59,841 --> 00:19:01,574
I know.

445
00:19:01,577 --> 00:19:04,065
But at some point,
you got to let them go.

446
00:19:04,764 --> 00:19:06,430
And then one day, if you're lucky,

447
00:19:06,433 --> 00:19:08,276
they'll move across the street from you

448
00:19:08,279 --> 00:19:10,147
and absolutely ruin your life.

449
00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:15,221
Seriously, get those
people out of my house.

450
00:19:15,224 --> 00:19:16,237
Okay.

451
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,229
Eventually, my mother relented

452
00:19:18,232 --> 00:19:21,221
and returned our things
with a few minor adjustments.

453
00:19:22,493 --> 00:19:23,979
What's The Moosewood Gang?

454
00:19:23,982 --> 00:19:28,198
They solve mysteries
while they learn about God.

455
00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:29,434
Great.

456
00:19:29,437 --> 00:19:32,526
Georgie got his music back.

457
00:19:32,529 --> 00:19:34,596
# Jesus Christ #

458
00:19:34,598 --> 00:19:36,932
# Superstar... #

459
00:19:36,934 --> 00:19:39,541
What the hell is this?

460
00:19:39,544 --> 00:19:40,986
And as for college,

461
00:19:40,989 --> 00:19:42,635
my mother and father discussed it

462
00:19:42,638 --> 00:19:45,005
and decided that ten was too young.

463
00:19:45,008 --> 00:19:48,810
So I didn't start till
the ripe old age of 11.

464
00:19:48,813 --> 00:19:51,307
In the meantime...

465
00:19:52,799 --> 00:19:56,573
...I had the key to one sweet bathroom.

466
00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:07,577
And we have brand-new
designs on awesome gifts.

467
00:20:07,580 --> 00:20:10,166
And don't forget about
our layaway options.

468
00:20:13,275 --> 00:20:15,477
Lord, give me strength.

469
00:20:28,745 --> 00:20:30,659
I'm sorry, God. I'm weak.

470
00:20:30,662 --> 00:20:35,823
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