1
00:00:00,101 --> 00:00:02,796
Okay, we still need wine,
cheese, flowers...

2
00:00:02,804 --> 00:00:04,134
Oh, we have to stop by the bakery.

3
00:00:04,138 --> 00:00:05,604
Yeah, and we need a hostess gift

4
00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:07,406
for Longinus' Friendsgiving party.

5
00:00:07,656 --> 00:00:09,856
You know, she does not look
kindly on an empty-handed guest.

6
00:00:10,185 --> 00:00:11,620
- It's too much.
- I know.

7
00:00:11,645 --> 00:00:13,189
But what do you expect from
somebody who changed their name

8
00:00:13,214 --> 00:00:15,414
from Larry Jones to
Longinus St. Germaine?

9
00:00:15,439 --> 00:00:16,815
No, I mean this list.

10
00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:18,605
Okay, we're only making it
to my dad's by 4:00

11
00:00:18,630 --> 00:00:20,696
if we blow off the hostess
formerly known as Larry.

12
00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:22,855
No! His party's my favorite
thing about Thanksgiving!

13
00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:24,232
Like, when we all go around the table

14
00:00:24,257 --> 00:00:26,424
and say one thing we're thankful
for not wearing this year.

15
00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:28,037
No. No, I'm sorry. Sorry.

16
00:00:28,062 --> 00:00:30,178
Even skipping the party,
we're barely gonna make it in time.

17
00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:32,560
Alright. Here. Let's divvy these up
and meet back here.

18
00:00:32,585 --> 00:00:33,515
Okay, fine.

19
00:00:33,517 --> 00:00:34,983
Um...

20
00:00:35,085 --> 00:00:36,585
- Oh, hi, Mitch!
- Oh! Hi, Ronaldo.

21
00:00:36,653 --> 00:00:38,720
What... Let me guess.
Those are for Longinus?

22
00:00:38,789 --> 00:00:41,489
Oh, I would never get something
this shabby for that judgy queen.

23
00:00:41,558 --> 00:00:43,658
- No, my mom is in the hospital.
- Oh, my God.

24
00:00:43,727 --> 00:00:45,159
Will I see you guys at the party?

25
00:00:45,272 --> 00:00:46,471
Oh, unfortunately no.

26
00:00:46,496 --> 00:00:48,563
Uh, this day has turned into
something of a nightmare.

27
00:00:48,842 --> 00:00:49,908
Oh. Where's Cam?

28
00:00:49,933 --> 00:00:50,965
We just split up.

29
00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:52,555
We just needed so many different things,

30
00:00:52,580 --> 00:00:53,645
it was easier to separate.

31
00:00:53,670 --> 00:00:55,103
So, anyway, happy Thanksgiving.

32
00:00:55,128 --> 00:00:56,461
Tell everyone I said hi.

33
00:00:59,789 --> 00:01:01,420
Super sad news.

34
00:01:01,545 --> 00:01:05,513
Guess who just broke up.
Hint... you owe me 50 bucks.

35
00:01:12,809 --> 00:01:17,808
credits

36
00:01:20,007 --> 00:01:21,773
Luke, stop eating all the marshmallows.

37
00:01:21,798 --> 00:01:23,418
Those yams need all the
help that they can get.

38
00:01:23,443 --> 00:01:25,076
Alex, how's the stuffing?

39
00:01:25,101 --> 00:01:26,296
You tell me.

40
00:01:26,869 --> 00:01:29,070
Why do we even have this stupid holiday?

41
00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:31,493
Mom and Dad have been incredible...

42
00:01:31,518 --> 00:01:33,685
letting me, Dylan,
and the twins live with them,

43
00:01:33,710 --> 00:01:36,644
helping with midnight feedings,
bedtime stories.

44
00:01:36,746 --> 00:01:39,146
Dylan loves it when my
dad does the voices.

45
00:01:39,248 --> 00:01:40,935
So, I'm giving my mom a break

46
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:42,193
from cooking Thanksgiving dinner.

47
00:01:42,218 --> 00:01:43,417
I wanted to do something special

48
00:01:43,442 --> 00:01:45,640
to thank them for being there for me.

49
00:01:46,169 --> 00:01:48,382
I'm sorry. I've just, um...

50
00:01:49,039 --> 00:01:51,554
I've become such a beautiful person.

51
00:01:53,563 --> 00:01:55,029
Happy Thanksgiving, Jay.

52
00:01:55,131 --> 00:01:56,998
Oh, I can slide over if you
want to watch this with me.

53
00:01:57,100 --> 00:02:00,167
Nah. I never saw the point
of a parade without tanks.

54
00:02:00,269 --> 00:02:01,813
I'm gonna take the plane out for a spin.

55
00:02:01,838 --> 00:02:02,903
You want to come with?

56
00:02:03,006 --> 00:02:04,125
Me?

57
00:02:04,253 --> 00:02:06,887
Go... fly?

58
00:02:07,340 --> 00:02:09,841
I played it cool,
but I was pretty jazzed.

59
00:02:11,314 --> 00:02:13,257
It's been 10 years since Jay asked me

60
00:02:13,282 --> 00:02:16,429
to go model-plane flying with him,
and I was, uh...

61
00:02:17,353 --> 00:02:19,130
I was eager to replace that memory

62
00:02:19,155 --> 00:02:21,322
with a... a be... a better one.

63
00:02:21,424 --> 00:02:23,658
Okay, let's do it!

64
00:02:23,750 --> 00:02:24,759
Whoo!

65
00:02:31,865 --> 00:02:32,954
Where are you guys going?

66
00:02:32,979 --> 00:02:34,545
Oh, nowhere special.

67
00:02:34,570 --> 00:02:37,104
Let's just say that Jay's asked
me to join his mile high club.

68
00:02:37,129 --> 00:02:38,239
Let's not say that.

69
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:39,240
Cool!

70
00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:40,685
You know, years ago, I almost joined

71
00:02:40,710 --> 00:02:43,411
the female-dominated world
of flight attendants.

72
00:02:43,614 --> 00:02:45,945
My fellow nurses still
needle me about it.

73
00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:47,414
Can I come?

74
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:48,549
Uh, actually,
Jay's pretty particular about...

75
00:02:48,574 --> 00:02:49,929
Sure, why not?

76
00:02:50,463 --> 00:02:51,896
Looks like we're having a threesome!

77
00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:53,654
You're embarrassing yourself.

78
00:02:56,015 --> 00:02:58,292
The turkey is still
frozen in the middle!

79
00:02:58,394 --> 00:03:00,628
Hot on the outside,
cold on the inside...

80
00:03:00,807 --> 00:03:02,473
reminds me of a certain someone.

81
00:03:02,498 --> 00:03:04,331
- Please don't ask.
- Sure.

82
00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:05,966
Ugh, this pie filling is so sour.

83
00:03:06,331 --> 00:03:07,412
Yeah, it's devastating

84
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:08,803
when you expect something to be sweet

85
00:03:08,828 --> 00:03:12,339
but ends up being intense
psychosexual torture.

86
00:03:12,519 --> 00:03:13,618
I don't want to talk about it.

87
00:03:13,643 --> 00:03:15,086
- Cool, cool.
- Don't worry.

88
00:03:15,111 --> 00:03:18,045
Luke's famous Jell-O mold is
here to save your sorry butts.

89
00:03:19,015 --> 00:03:20,347
Aah!

90
00:03:20,851 --> 00:03:22,860
I can't have the one
nice thing I've done

91
00:03:22,885 --> 00:03:24,151
for Mom and Dad be a disaster!

92
00:03:24,253 --> 00:03:26,442
Alex, um, call you please call
that chef that you're dating?

93
00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:28,066
That pompous weirdo?

94
00:03:28,091 --> 00:03:30,623
I purposely broke up with
him before the holidays.

95
00:03:30,648 --> 00:03:33,641
If I call him now, I will be
stuck with him until New Year's.

96
00:03:33,666 --> 00:03:34,732
There's a school of thought

97
00:03:34,757 --> 00:03:36,641
it can even stretch
out to Valentine's Day.

98
00:03:36,666 --> 00:03:38,664
Once you pass Thanksgiving,
it's the Wild West.

99
00:03:38,982 --> 00:03:41,289
Okay! Her name is Jessica.

100
00:03:41,314 --> 00:03:42,947
We met during a Santa Ana wind,

101
00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:44,572
and we all know what
Raymond Chandler said...

102
00:03:44,674 --> 00:03:45,883
So no need to repeat it.

103
00:03:45,908 --> 00:03:48,642
Alex, please.
How weird can your chef be?

104
00:03:50,070 --> 00:03:51,589
I don't know if it's 'cause he's a chef

105
00:03:51,614 --> 00:03:52,880
and they can be controlling,

106
00:03:52,905 --> 00:03:55,839
and I know there's lots of different
"love languages,"

107
00:03:55,864 --> 00:03:56,997
but...

108
00:03:57,174 --> 00:03:58,940
he puppets me.

109
00:03:59,976 --> 00:04:03,234
You want them to be super
thin and uniform, like this.

110
00:04:04,482 --> 00:04:06,640
You're tearing up from the onions.

111
00:04:08,965 --> 00:04:10,297
Mnh? Unh?

112
00:04:10,632 --> 00:04:11,642
And blow.

113
00:04:11,667 --> 00:04:13,444
You know, maybe I'll just go
to the bathroom and do this.

114
00:04:13,469 --> 00:04:15,035
Okay. Sure. Let's go.

115
00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:20,908
Oh, Joe! You're doing place cards?

116
00:04:21,010 --> 00:04:22,710
Doesn't Manny usually
take care of seating?

117
00:04:22,889 --> 00:04:24,689
He's "going through something."

118
00:04:24,714 --> 00:04:25,846
- Ah.
- I'm sure

119
00:04:25,871 --> 00:04:27,871
we'll hear a spoken word
about it soon enough.

120
00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:30,718
You really are turning into
a 4-foot version of my dad.

121
00:04:30,820 --> 00:04:31,852
Our dad.

122
00:04:32,149 --> 00:04:34,350
That will never not be weird.

123
00:04:35,007 --> 00:04:37,224
Gloria, you do laundry?

124
00:04:37,326 --> 00:04:39,375
Or are you hiding a pregnancy?

125
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:41,472
No. The housekeeper quit.

126
00:04:41,497 --> 00:04:42,668
Ohh!

127
00:04:42,693 --> 00:04:47,445
I really love working for Phil
full-time for very little money,

128
00:04:47,470 --> 00:04:50,070
but I didn't realize how
hard it was going to be

129
00:04:50,095 --> 00:04:51,539
balancing everything.

130
00:04:51,718 --> 00:04:53,985
I know. That's why I love not working.

131
00:04:54,010 --> 00:04:56,744
Finally, enough time
to get everything done.

132
00:04:56,846 --> 00:04:58,145
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

133
00:04:58,247 --> 00:05:00,948
You don't miss facing new challenges,

134
00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:02,850
the fire of competition,

135
00:05:02,952 --> 00:05:05,519
that sense of accomplishment?

136
00:05:06,648 --> 00:05:07,747
No. No.

137
00:05:07,882 --> 00:05:10,334
I mean, of course,
I worried I was the type of person

138
00:05:10,359 --> 00:05:13,271
who needed to be busy all the time,
but it's like a drug...

139
00:05:13,296 --> 00:05:15,907
After a couple of weeks of withdrawal,

140
00:05:15,932 --> 00:05:18,966
I am finally comfortable doing nothing.

141
00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:20,568
Hmm.

142
00:05:27,548 --> 00:05:28,715
Oh, what kind of pie did you get,

143
00:05:28,740 --> 00:05:30,640
pun'kin, pee-can, sweet pataytuh?

144
00:05:30,709 --> 00:05:31,908
Flourless chocolate cake.

145
00:05:32,141 --> 00:05:33,473
Let's see you try and country that up.

146
00:05:33,608 --> 00:05:34,677
Oh. My phone's in my pocket.

147
00:05:34,779 --> 00:05:36,045
Here, would you grab it? I can't get it.

148
00:05:36,114 --> 00:05:37,347
Yep. Alright.

149
00:05:37,415 --> 00:05:39,282
- Who is it?
- Oh, it's from Jotham.

150
00:05:39,395 --> 00:05:41,995
"Just heard. I'm so sorry.
How are you doing?"

151
00:05:42,020 --> 00:05:43,620
- What's that about?
- I have no idea.

152
00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:44,887
Oh, L'Michael.

153
00:05:44,956 --> 00:05:46,355
"Sending all my love, Camembert.

154
00:05:46,424 --> 00:05:47,433
- Call me."
- What?

155
00:05:48,295 --> 00:05:49,225
Artemis.

156
00:05:49,287 --> 00:05:51,354
"Ronaldo told me about you and Mitchell.

157
00:05:51,379 --> 00:05:53,614
"Broken-heart emoji, tear emoji,

158
00:05:53,639 --> 00:05:55,138
Tammy Faye Bakker crying GIF."

159
00:05:55,220 --> 00:05:56,920
What did Ronaldo tell him?

160
00:05:56,945 --> 00:06:00,298
No clue. I-I just saw him here,
and he asked where you were,

161
00:06:00,333 --> 00:06:02,221
and I told him that we
split up to shop and that...

162
00:06:02,860 --> 00:06:04,726
Oh, my God.
He thinks we actually split up.

163
00:06:04,758 --> 00:06:06,725
Oh, and it's gone viral.

164
00:06:06,794 --> 00:06:08,727
Well, there are two things
a gay can't sit on...

165
00:06:08,796 --> 00:06:11,063
a plastic patio chair and
a juicy bit of gossip.

166
00:06:11,131 --> 00:06:12,584
Well, it's nice to see

167
00:06:12,609 --> 00:06:14,124
how supportive our friends are being.

168
00:06:14,159 --> 00:06:16,585
Yeah. It's nice how quickly
they reached out to...

169
00:06:16,787 --> 00:06:17,792
to you.

170
00:06:17,821 --> 00:06:19,054
I got nothing.

171
00:06:20,044 --> 00:06:21,133
It's like it's mocking me.

172
00:06:21,158 --> 00:06:23,272
I-I'm sure the texts were
meant for both of us.

173
00:06:23,307 --> 00:06:24,526
That's not how it works, okay?

174
00:06:24,594 --> 00:06:26,040
They're not thanking us for brunch.

175
00:06:26,075 --> 00:06:27,228
We're getting a divorce!

176
00:06:27,374 --> 00:06:28,940
Why is no one calling me?!

177
00:06:28,965 --> 00:06:30,575
Well, maybe because
they think you're the...

178
00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:32,266
the stronger, less emotional one.

179
00:06:32,335 --> 00:06:34,304
That's crazy. Just because I'm strong

180
00:06:34,339 --> 00:06:36,014
doesn't mean I don't need my
friends at a time like this!

181
00:06:36,039 --> 00:06:37,138
A time like what?

182
00:06:37,173 --> 00:06:39,840
Y-You realizing this isn't
actually happening, right?

183
00:06:39,842 --> 00:06:41,075
Oh, come on. If the shoe

184
00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:42,910
was on the other foot,
you would be freaking out.

185
00:06:42,979 --> 00:06:44,812
Yes... which is why
I'm getting all the texts.

186
00:06:44,881 --> 00:06:46,447
Okay, well, here.

187
00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:48,326
Ohh, from Steven and Stefan in Capri.

188
00:06:48,351 --> 00:06:51,018
Oh. Text back, uh, "Do not fly home.

189
00:06:51,087 --> 00:06:52,092
I'm doing okay."

190
00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:54,788
I thought this wasn't really happening!

191
00:06:57,585 --> 00:07:00,194
Barrel roll into an S-turn...

192
00:07:00,863 --> 00:07:03,029
and a little thing I
call Pritchett-Switch-It.

193
00:07:04,099 --> 00:07:05,465
That just looks like a right-hand turn.

194
00:07:05,534 --> 00:07:06,967
It would to an amateur.

195
00:07:07,069 --> 00:07:08,435
You're an artist, Jay.

196
00:07:08,616 --> 00:07:09,715
The sky's your canvas.

197
00:07:09,748 --> 00:07:10,781
Oh, should we do the hoop?

198
00:07:10,806 --> 00:07:11,938
Great idea.

199
00:07:11,963 --> 00:07:15,189
Hey, champ, take this out to the middle
of the field and hold it up.

200
00:07:15,214 --> 00:07:16,414
Awesome!

201
00:07:18,207 --> 00:07:19,306
Guess it's "champ's" turn.

202
00:07:19,331 --> 00:07:21,965
Are... Are we sure champ doesn't need
to see how it's done properly first?

203
00:07:22,033 --> 00:07:23,299
I mean, it's not just standing there.

204
00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:25,168
Dylan, just stand there!

205
00:07:31,342 --> 00:07:32,348
Yes!

206
00:07:32,377 --> 00:07:34,744
What a wonderful shared experience!

207
00:07:34,846 --> 00:07:36,045
Now, stay out there.

208
00:07:36,334 --> 00:07:37,567
We'll do it again.

209
00:07:37,948 --> 00:07:40,115
Kid's a natural. He didn't even flinch.

210
00:07:40,184 --> 00:07:43,085
Bravery or a sluggish brain...
guess we'll never know.

211
00:07:44,488 --> 00:07:45,554
Sorry.

212
00:07:45,623 --> 00:07:46,989
Just, uh, I'm... I'm a little annoyed

213
00:07:47,014 --> 00:07:49,464
that Dylan's horning in on our thing.

214
00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:51,971
Hey, you know what,
my hands are cramping up.

215
00:07:51,996 --> 00:07:53,028
You want to take over for me here?

216
00:07:53,087 --> 00:07:54,089
- Really?
- Yeah.

217
00:07:54,098 --> 00:07:55,230
Thanks.

218
00:07:55,299 --> 00:07:57,710
Listen, i-is it possible
that you're angry at Dylan

219
00:07:57,735 --> 00:07:59,501
for something more than today?

220
00:07:59,570 --> 00:08:01,737
Well, he did take
the last waffle this morning.

221
00:08:01,839 --> 00:08:05,273
I think it's more about...
he took your firstborn.

222
00:08:05,342 --> 00:08:07,442
Now, I've been there.
It's only natural, you know.

223
00:08:07,511 --> 00:08:10,804
Us dads, we're very protective
of our daughters, but, uh...

224
00:08:10,829 --> 00:08:12,960
In fact, you may get
a very strong impulse

225
00:08:12,985 --> 00:08:14,626
to fly that plane right into the guy,

226
00:08:14,651 --> 00:08:15,750
but don't do it.

227
00:08:15,752 --> 00:08:17,552
What? I-I would...
I would never hurt Dylan.

228
00:08:17,620 --> 00:08:19,187
Why would you even think
I'd have that impulse?

229
00:08:19,212 --> 00:08:20,879
I don't know. I thought...

230
00:08:20,904 --> 00:08:22,265
you know, the way
you were looking at him...

231
00:08:22,290 --> 00:08:23,359
Wait.

232
00:08:24,112 --> 00:08:26,045
Is that what you were
thinking 10 years ago?

233
00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:28,396
A-All this time,
I thought it was my fault!

234
00:08:28,421 --> 00:08:30,498
I-I moved my head at the last second.

235
00:08:30,523 --> 00:08:31,756
But you hit me on purpose!

236
00:08:31,781 --> 00:08:33,451
Don't be ridiculous! I just...

237
00:08:33,476 --> 00:08:34,652
You just what, Jay?

238
00:08:34,721 --> 00:08:36,987
Thought it'd be fun to
fly a plane into my face?

239
00:08:37,189 --> 00:08:39,456
What kind of monster does
that to another human be...

240
00:08:42,528 --> 00:08:44,263
Aw, no.

241
00:08:49,034 --> 00:08:50,367
Look at this.

242
00:08:54,035 --> 00:08:55,572
Okay, I think it's good for now.

243
00:08:55,674 --> 00:08:58,236
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You need to enjoy your "me" time.

244
00:08:58,261 --> 00:09:02,212
Yeah. Yesterday,
I had three open houses.

245
00:09:02,230 --> 00:09:04,097
I was running around all day,

246
00:09:04,166 --> 00:09:06,306
solving problems, creating value...

247
00:09:06,331 --> 00:09:08,549
Ay, it was exhausting.

248
00:09:08,584 --> 00:09:10,145
Yeah. Don't miss that.

249
00:09:10,170 --> 00:09:11,229
Mm-hmm.

250
00:09:11,607 --> 00:09:14,708
- Oh, and one of the houses was filthy!
- Oh.

251
00:09:14,776 --> 00:09:16,954
All the windows needed to be washed.

252
00:09:16,979 --> 00:09:18,044
- Oh.
- Euggh!

253
00:09:18,146 --> 00:09:19,846
But I am one to talk.

254
00:09:27,772 --> 00:09:30,206
Follow my instructions,
and we can save this meal.

255
00:09:30,275 --> 00:09:31,507
- Who are you?
- Manny.

256
00:09:31,532 --> 00:09:34,266
Wrong. In this kitchen,
you don't have a name. Stir.

257
00:09:34,345 --> 00:09:35,411
Well, this is a fun energy.

258
00:09:35,513 --> 00:09:36,712
Do you happen to have a cousin

259
00:09:36,737 --> 00:09:38,681
partial to Western skirts
and terrifying mood swings?

260
00:09:38,749 --> 00:09:40,149
We need him. Just do it.

261
00:09:40,174 --> 00:09:41,717
Those carrots are a mess.

262
00:09:41,786 --> 00:09:43,752
- It's like this.
- Wait, what...

263
00:09:43,754 --> 00:09:44,760
Oh, man.

264
00:09:44,789 --> 00:09:46,019
You really know what you want.

265
00:09:46,129 --> 00:09:47,194
I feel so safe.

266
00:09:48,526 --> 00:09:49,692
That needs more salt.

267
00:09:49,794 --> 00:09:50,826
That needs more cream.

268
00:09:50,928 --> 00:09:53,713
And, Alex,
I have a soufflé in that oven

269
00:09:53,738 --> 00:09:55,131
valiantly trying to rise.

270
00:09:55,156 --> 00:09:57,189
Would you mind not
pounding those walnuts

271
00:09:57,214 --> 00:09:59,688
like you're Quasimodo
just going at his bell?

272
00:09:59,713 --> 00:10:01,652
You know what, Neil? I don't know how...

273
00:10:01,677 --> 00:10:03,243
Are these too hot?

274
00:10:07,083 --> 00:10:09,450
Claire? Why are you washing our windows?

275
00:10:09,552 --> 00:10:10,618
I don't know.

276
00:10:10,747 --> 00:10:13,748
They were really dirty,
and your mom found a pole.

277
00:10:13,773 --> 00:10:15,373
You know, funny coincidence...

278
00:10:15,398 --> 00:10:17,362
last week, I was offered the top job

279
00:10:17,387 --> 00:10:18,653
at a company that makes poles.

280
00:10:19,140 --> 00:10:20,876
Yeah, I'm going through something, too.

281
00:10:20,901 --> 00:10:22,734
Anyway, I turned the job down,

282
00:10:22,759 --> 00:10:24,725
but I think I'm reconsidering it.

283
00:10:24,794 --> 00:10:26,260
Her name is Jessica.

284
00:10:26,329 --> 00:10:29,330
I know that poles aren't
as sexy as closets.

285
00:10:29,399 --> 00:10:31,986
But people really seem to like them,

286
00:10:32,011 --> 00:10:34,468
and they are famously recession-proof.

287
00:10:34,581 --> 00:10:36,314
Oh, God.
I think I made a terrible mistake.

288
00:10:36,339 --> 00:10:38,840
I got to call those people and
get that job before it goes away.

289
00:10:38,908 --> 00:10:39,941
Because...

290
00:10:39,943 --> 00:10:41,419
Don't do it, Claire! It's beneath you!

291
00:10:41,444 --> 00:10:43,444
Whoa! Manny, show some respect!

292
00:10:43,463 --> 00:10:44,672
If it weren't for poles,

293
00:10:44,697 --> 00:10:46,330
you would be pledging
allegiance to a floor mat!

294
00:10:46,399 --> 00:10:47,631
- Now, give me my phone!
- No!

295
00:10:47,788 --> 00:10:49,588
You can't take a job on the rebound.

296
00:10:49,613 --> 00:10:50,912
It'll feel good for a minute,

297
00:10:50,937 --> 00:10:54,667
but then you're plummeting down
a K-hole of paranoia and regret.

298
00:10:55,652 --> 00:10:57,173
Huh. How was your week?

299
00:10:57,242 --> 00:10:59,699
Fine. I'll tell you why
I'm wearing a turtleneck.

300
00:10:59,724 --> 00:11:01,111
After Sherry dumped me,

301
00:11:01,136 --> 00:11:03,003
I dated the first girl
who would have me...

302
00:11:03,028 --> 00:11:06,262
ironically, the leading
rebounder on our basketball team.

303
00:11:06,418 --> 00:11:08,184
That's where she hit me
with her mouth guard.

304
00:11:08,297 --> 00:11:09,463
I've tried to leave her,

305
00:11:09,488 --> 00:11:11,788
but she just palms my head,
and I run in place.

306
00:11:11,857 --> 00:11:13,623
Well, I'm sorry this is happening
to you, Manny,

307
00:11:13,725 --> 00:11:14,958
but what does this have to do with...

308
00:11:15,027 --> 00:11:17,193
She's the pole company, Claire.

309
00:11:17,562 --> 00:11:18,661
Learn from my mistake...

310
00:11:18,763 --> 00:11:20,697
unless you want a
compromising Polaroid of you

311
00:11:20,732 --> 00:11:22,799
hung up very high in
the women's locker room.

312
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,900
I might need to borrow
that ladder later.

313
00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:33,559
- Claire!
- Hmm?

314
00:11:33,584 --> 00:11:35,638
Do you want to help me shop online later

315
00:11:35,663 --> 00:11:37,530
for some power suits?

316
00:11:37,675 --> 00:11:40,710
Oh, God, I miss
wearing comfortable clothes

317
00:11:40,735 --> 00:11:42,422
all the time, like you do.

318
00:11:42,455 --> 00:11:44,475
Yep. It sounds like a lot of fun.

319
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:45,599
I...

320
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,299
What am I doing?

321
00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:49,192
A terrific job. Keep going!

322
00:11:49,217 --> 00:11:50,249
N-No!

323
00:11:50,274 --> 00:11:52,893
I have been sweating
ever since I got here.

324
00:11:52,918 --> 00:11:56,014
Did you trick me into
doing your housework?

325
00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:57,148
No.

326
00:12:01,788 --> 00:12:03,188
Unh-unh! That phone did not ring!

327
00:12:03,213 --> 00:12:05,434
You're walking away because
you know you're guilty!

328
00:12:05,459 --> 00:12:08,093
And take those shoes off!
I just did the floors!

329
00:12:08,629 --> 00:12:12,299
My friends' reaction to our
"divorce" really bothered me.

330
00:12:12,324 --> 00:12:14,182
So I made an excuse to Cam

331
00:12:14,207 --> 00:12:16,067
and went over to Longinus' party.

332
00:12:16,213 --> 00:12:17,512
I wanted the friends to know

333
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:20,137
that I am just as
emotionally needy as Cam!

334
00:12:25,144 --> 00:12:26,444
Hey, girl, hey!

335
00:12:26,469 --> 00:12:27,534
I can't believe you came.

336
00:12:27,559 --> 00:12:28,723
Oh, my God. How's Cam?!

337
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:29,814
Yes, how is he?

338
00:12:29,816 --> 00:12:31,449
Cam's fine. He's fine.

339
00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:34,223
It was just a big misunderstanding.
We're not getting a divorce.

340
00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:37,888
Well, girl, come on in.

341
00:12:37,957 --> 00:12:39,390
Let's get you two drinks...

342
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:41,692
one for each empty hand you
showed up to the party with.

343
00:12:42,191 --> 00:12:43,905
Well, I-I could use it.

344
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:47,075
I mean, even though it's...
it's not true about the divorce,

345
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,199
it could be... you know, someday.

346
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:52,176
And that just...
that just makes me so, so...

347
00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:54,571
Confused?

348
00:12:54,617 --> 00:12:56,417
Angry? Furious.

349
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:57,474
"The Fast and the Furious"!

350
00:12:57,476 --> 00:12:58,542
Okay, this isn't charades.

351
00:12:58,567 --> 00:12:59,576
I'm sad.

352
00:12:59,578 --> 00:13:01,278
- That's your sad?
- Yes.

353
00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:02,582
That's your sad?

354
00:13:02,607 --> 00:13:03,739
Yeah.

355
00:13:03,764 --> 00:13:05,998
And I-I really need
your support right now.

356
00:13:07,637 --> 00:13:09,703
Wait, something new is happening.

357
00:13:11,965 --> 00:13:15,575
Oh, my God! How can you not see
how emotionally raw I am right now?

358
00:13:15,677 --> 00:13:16,629
Huh?

359
00:13:16,654 --> 00:13:18,221
Nothing lasts forever.

360
00:13:18,246 --> 00:13:19,817
What happens when it's over?

361
00:13:20,125 --> 00:13:22,159
Poor Cam. He is so fragile.

362
00:13:22,184 --> 00:13:23,283
He's gonna need us.

363
00:13:23,385 --> 00:13:24,651
We'll be there for him.

364
00:13:24,676 --> 00:13:26,910
Who will be there to dry these tears?

365
00:13:28,434 --> 00:13:29,623
What tears?

366
00:13:30,149 --> 00:13:31,559
Where they at?

367
00:13:35,143 --> 00:13:36,576
Ay, no, not again!

368
00:13:36,601 --> 00:13:39,046
It wasn't me this time.
He did it to himself.

369
00:13:39,071 --> 00:13:40,346
Unlike last time,

370
00:13:40,449 --> 00:13:43,183
when you purposely flew
that plane into my face.

371
00:13:43,363 --> 00:13:44,528
You're a monster, Jay.

372
00:13:44,553 --> 00:13:46,137
Who are you calling a monster?

373
00:13:46,217 --> 00:13:48,050
Um, he just said... Jay.

374
00:13:48,246 --> 00:13:50,989
This isn't worth it!
Why do I do anything with people?

375
00:13:51,392 --> 00:13:53,259
I'm pretty sure you
don't have a concussion,

376
00:13:53,284 --> 00:13:55,223
but I'm gonna stay here just in case,

377
00:13:55,248 --> 00:13:56,714
so you don't fall asleep.

378
00:13:57,599 --> 00:13:59,865
Gloria, should you go get Mrs. D?

379
00:13:59,890 --> 00:14:01,957
Oh, yeah, sure.
I'll see if I can find her.

380
00:14:04,305 --> 00:14:05,941
Claire?

381
00:14:10,134 --> 00:14:11,533
Oh, hey. Seen Cam?

382
00:14:11,756 --> 00:14:13,956
And a Happy Thanksgiving to you.

383
00:14:13,981 --> 00:14:16,014
Oh, that's a lot of attitude.
You sound like my dad.

384
00:14:16,140 --> 00:14:17,206
Our dad!

385
00:14:17,731 --> 00:14:18,784
- Uch.
- There you are.

386
00:14:18,809 --> 00:14:21,853
So, I just, uh,
got a text message from Longinus.

387
00:14:21,878 --> 00:14:24,356
Said you left your sunglasses
at his Friendsgiving party...

388
00:14:24,381 --> 00:14:27,081
the one you decreed we didn't
have enough time to go to.

389
00:14:27,150 --> 00:14:28,883
Mitchell, you owe me an apology.

390
00:14:28,908 --> 00:14:31,142
I owe you an apology?

391
00:14:31,843 --> 00:14:33,798
I may not have brought a
gift to Longinus' party,

392
00:14:33,823 --> 00:14:35,757
but I sure left with one.

393
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:39,348
It's like he's never
seen someone cry before.

394
00:14:39,373 --> 00:14:41,055
Just think of something sad.

395
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,739
Like when a pet died,

396
00:14:42,764 --> 00:14:45,254
or when L'Michael was a seat
filler at the Golden Globes

397
00:14:45,279 --> 00:14:47,371
and got to sit next to Nicole Kidman.

398
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:48,519
Why him?!

399
00:14:49,553 --> 00:14:51,653
Ptolemy, you must get over that.

400
00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:54,412
Look, the only reason we
all rallied around Cam was,

401
00:14:54,437 --> 00:14:55,974
last time y'all broke up,

402
00:14:55,999 --> 00:14:58,133
he was shattered and you seemed fine.

403
00:14:59,479 --> 00:15:00,879
What last time?

404
00:15:02,594 --> 00:15:03,827
Apparently, years ago,

405
00:15:03,852 --> 00:15:06,620
Cam invented a breakup
that never really happened,

406
00:15:06,732 --> 00:15:09,366
just so he could gauge how
much support he could count on

407
00:15:09,391 --> 00:15:11,325
in the event of the real thing.

408
00:15:11,707 --> 00:15:12,709
Normal.

409
00:15:12,778 --> 00:15:14,944
It's my fault for loving him too much!

410
00:15:15,013 --> 00:15:16,346
- No! No!
- No! No!

411
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:18,225
- You can do so much better.
- Don't do this to yourself.

412
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:19,582
- Honey.
- Yes.

413
00:15:19,791 --> 00:15:21,825
You turned everyone against me!

414
00:15:22,435 --> 00:15:24,431
Because in a breakup,
friends choose a side,

415
00:15:24,456 --> 00:15:28,157
and I'm... I'm more fragile,
and I would need them more.

416
00:15:28,159 --> 00:15:30,174
I was just preparing for an emergency.

417
00:15:30,199 --> 00:15:32,739
I didn't yell at you when you
bought that, uh, earthquake kit.

418
00:15:32,764 --> 00:15:35,682
You told them I disappear
for days at a time.

419
00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:36,682
Which you wouldn't know about

420
00:15:36,707 --> 00:15:38,734
had you not gone to the
party behind my back.

421
00:15:38,753 --> 00:15:40,353
Where's the trust, Mitchell?

422
00:15:43,201 --> 00:15:44,968
Looks like a good place
to hide from the drama.

423
00:15:44,993 --> 00:15:47,426
Dad, I am so mad at your wife right now.

424
00:15:47,495 --> 00:15:49,395
- I need a guest house.
- No, no, no.

425
00:15:49,508 --> 00:15:51,808
She... She has completely taken
advantage of my restlessness

426
00:15:51,833 --> 00:15:53,709
and basically turned me
into her housekeeper.

427
00:15:53,734 --> 00:15:55,367
How? By doing something the wrong way,

428
00:15:55,392 --> 00:15:57,481
knowing you'll jump in
and do it the right way?

429
00:15:57,738 --> 00:16:00,172
What's wrong with me?
Why can't I get these clean?

430
00:16:00,274 --> 00:16:01,473
Not gonna happen.

431
00:16:02,164 --> 00:16:03,986
I am partly to blame.

432
00:16:04,011 --> 00:16:07,410
I'm not good at doing nothing.

433
00:16:08,192 --> 00:16:10,993
How did they get fingerprints
on the inside of the glass?

434
00:16:11,018 --> 00:16:12,084
It's crazy.

435
00:16:12,086 --> 00:16:13,452
You know, I had a similar experience

436
00:16:13,554 --> 00:16:15,182
when I turned the company over to you.

437
00:16:15,207 --> 00:16:17,589
It wasn't the activity that I missed.

438
00:16:17,899 --> 00:16:19,395
I missed being the boss.

439
00:16:19,699 --> 00:16:21,276
Oh! Yeah. I hear you there.

440
00:16:21,378 --> 00:16:23,645
- Giving orders, people scared of you.
- Yeah.

441
00:16:23,747 --> 00:16:24,756
I like day drinking,

442
00:16:24,815 --> 00:16:26,514
but nothing beats
being drunk with power.

443
00:16:26,716 --> 00:16:30,485
Yeah. Do you know how many unfunny
jokes I told at the office?

444
00:16:30,554 --> 00:16:32,053
- None?
- Exactly.

445
00:16:32,145 --> 00:16:33,154
- Knock knock.
- "Ha ha ha ha!

446
00:16:33,156 --> 00:16:34,556
"Good one, boss! Ha ha ha ha!

447
00:16:34,624 --> 00:16:35,957
How do you keep coming up with them?"

448
00:16:35,982 --> 00:16:37,342
Spineless bootlickers.

449
00:16:37,367 --> 00:16:39,067
God, I miss them.

450
00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:40,795
How did you get over it?

451
00:16:40,864 --> 00:16:43,130
I didn't wait around for someone
to put me in charge again.

452
00:16:43,276 --> 00:16:44,943
I made my own opportunity.

453
00:16:44,968 --> 00:16:46,614
Dad, dog beds?

454
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:48,238
Better than poles.

455
00:16:50,187 --> 00:16:51,954
Oh, yeah. I hear things.

456
00:16:53,129 --> 00:16:55,854
Alright.
Dylan is on twin duty,

457
00:16:55,879 --> 00:16:58,379
so I'm gonna make sure
you don't fall asleep.

458
00:16:58,481 --> 00:17:00,881
I've been asleep for the last 10 years.

459
00:17:01,283 --> 00:17:02,316
Imagine finding out

460
00:17:02,341 --> 00:17:04,328
the plane crash you
were in was no accident.

461
00:17:04,353 --> 00:17:05,752
Well, you're not alone.

462
00:17:05,898 --> 00:17:07,131
Jay did something very similar to me

463
00:17:07,156 --> 00:17:08,651
when Mitchell and I first got together.

464
00:17:08,676 --> 00:17:11,130
He "accidentally"
bumped me with his car...

465
00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:13,441
a real car, not a... not a toy.

466
00:17:14,623 --> 00:17:15,689
I was pretty bruised up.

467
00:17:15,714 --> 00:17:17,214
I just... I just assumed it was because

468
00:17:17,282 --> 00:17:18,969
he didn't want his son with a boyfriend,

469
00:17:18,994 --> 00:17:21,338
but he thought Mitchell could do better.

470
00:17:21,363 --> 00:17:23,130
It was a-a bit of a shock.

471
00:17:23,155 --> 00:17:24,921
Uhp...

472
00:17:25,340 --> 00:17:27,040
But then, once I became a father,

473
00:17:27,109 --> 00:17:29,764
I realized how protective
you can be over your kid.

474
00:17:29,789 --> 00:17:31,955
There was a little boy on Lily's
soccer team always teasing her,

475
00:17:31,980 --> 00:17:33,446
so at the end-of-the-season party,

476
00:17:33,515 --> 00:17:36,082
I may have nudged him face-first

477
00:17:36,107 --> 00:17:38,609
into a freshly fried funnel cake.

478
00:17:40,699 --> 00:17:44,023
It is possible that
I have more in common

479
00:17:44,048 --> 00:17:47,416
with dads like Jay than
I would like to admit.

480
00:17:49,107 --> 00:17:51,331
Sorry I ate the last waffle, Mr. D.

481
00:17:51,356 --> 00:17:53,533
I've been so hungry lately.

482
00:17:53,558 --> 00:17:54,159
Mm.

483
00:17:54,184 --> 00:17:56,379
I wonder if that means
we're pregnant again.

484
00:17:58,981 --> 00:18:00,568
Oh, shoot!

485
00:18:00,603 --> 00:18:03,223
Shoot! Shoot, shoot, shoot.

486
00:18:04,312 --> 00:18:06,345
Ohhhhhh.

487
00:18:07,590 --> 00:18:09,181
Congratulations, Alex.

488
00:18:09,183 --> 00:18:11,635
A warren of starving rabbits
wouldn't eat these carrots.

489
00:18:11,660 --> 00:18:13,919
I'm starting to wonder if our
relationship should just be sexual.

490
00:18:13,938 --> 00:18:15,170
Okay, Neil, honestly...

491
00:18:15,239 --> 00:18:17,850
Hey, hey, hey, you lovebirds!
Time for that later.

492
00:18:17,875 --> 00:18:19,118
We got a meal to finish.

493
00:18:19,143 --> 00:18:22,177
Can somebody call FEMA?
This meringue is a disaster.

494
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:23,499
I just did what you told me.

495
00:18:23,524 --> 00:18:25,391
Oh, really? I told you
to underbeat the egg whites?

496
00:18:25,570 --> 00:18:26,702
I really think...

497
00:18:26,727 --> 00:18:28,227
I think. You do.

498
00:18:28,296 --> 00:18:30,329
Oh, Neil. Are you done with Alex?

499
00:18:30,354 --> 00:18:33,496
'Cause I'm having trouble
slivering these almonds.

500
00:18:33,708 --> 00:18:34,907
Be one with me.

501
00:18:38,362 --> 00:18:40,239
Hey, Jay, um...

502
00:18:41,531 --> 00:18:43,698
I think I overreacted earlier.

503
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:45,207
I want to apologize.

504
00:18:45,373 --> 00:18:46,405
Forget it.

505
00:18:47,037 --> 00:18:50,371
If I'm being honest,
maybe on some level...

506
00:18:51,202 --> 00:18:53,231
I really did want to
hit you with that plane.

507
00:18:54,213 --> 00:18:55,660
I'm sorry, Phil.

508
00:18:56,446 --> 00:18:57,545
Thank you.

509
00:18:58,066 --> 00:18:59,757
Maybe I, uh, understand better

510
00:18:59,782 --> 00:19:01,816
why a father might want
to protect a daughter.

511
00:19:01,929 --> 00:19:03,094
Or a son.

512
00:19:03,119 --> 00:19:05,920
I banged Cam up pretty good
before I gave him the nod.

513
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:07,673
He never figured it out.

514
00:19:09,893 --> 00:19:12,890
I get the impulse.
I'm... I'm guilty of it myself.

515
00:19:12,925 --> 00:19:14,317
But there's got to be a
better way of handling anger

516
00:19:14,342 --> 00:19:16,104
than hurting someone, right?

517
00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:18,933
Disgusting!

518
00:19:19,101 --> 00:19:20,706
If this was the first Thanksgiving,

519
00:19:20,731 --> 00:19:22,156
your gravy would be the worst thing

520
00:19:22,181 --> 00:19:23,981
this country has done
to Native Americans!

521
00:19:24,131 --> 00:19:25,998
- Hey, buddy.
- Yeah?

522
00:19:27,076 --> 00:19:28,242
Ohh!

523
00:19:30,646 --> 00:19:31,745
Oops.

524
00:19:31,847 --> 00:19:33,647
What a senseless accident.

525
00:19:34,020 --> 00:19:35,716
What the hell?!

526
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:37,984
It's not the end of the world.

527
00:19:38,009 --> 00:19:39,975
Chefs don't need to smell things.

528
00:19:40,044 --> 00:19:42,544
You people are crazy.
I'm getting out of here.

529
00:19:42,569 --> 00:19:44,468
What a splendid idea.

530
00:19:45,708 --> 00:19:47,778
Enjoy the soufflé.

531
00:19:50,422 --> 00:19:51,431
You're the best.

532
00:19:51,871 --> 00:19:54,461
Whoa. What's going on?
Did I just hear the chef leave?

533
00:19:54,486 --> 00:19:56,647
It's hopeless.
I can't even tell what this was.

534
00:19:56,672 --> 00:19:59,457
Well, I'll see if there's a
restaurant that can take us.

535
00:19:59,482 --> 00:20:00,851
- I'm just going home.
- Yeah.

536
00:20:00,876 --> 00:20:02,486
No. No, no, no, no!
Whoa, whoa, whoa! No!

537
00:20:02,511 --> 00:20:04,310
No one is going anywhere.

538
00:20:04,363 --> 00:20:06,963
Listen, you know what?
We can salvage this Thanksgiving.

539
00:20:07,015 --> 00:20:08,581
Phil, you get the salad started.

540
00:20:08,683 --> 00:20:10,450
Luke, anything you don't need

541
00:20:10,475 --> 00:20:12,542
dental records to identify, save.

542
00:20:12,643 --> 00:20:16,044
Alex, that guy was an idiot.
Pick better boyfriends.

543
00:20:16,069 --> 00:20:18,778
I'm sorry, Mom.
I so wanted to do this for you.

544
00:20:18,803 --> 00:20:20,184
Oh, honey, no.

545
00:20:20,295 --> 00:20:22,128
You gave me the best gift ever.

546
00:20:22,153 --> 00:20:24,544
I'm bossing people around again!

547
00:20:25,207 --> 00:20:26,735
_

548
00:20:26,768 --> 00:20:28,034
Look, I guess I just...

549
00:20:28,059 --> 00:20:31,324
I didn't think I would be able
to survive if you ever left me.

550
00:20:31,673 --> 00:20:33,039
And I still don't.

551
00:20:33,141 --> 00:20:34,374
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.

552
00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:36,732
And the party wasn't that fun.

553
00:20:36,988 --> 00:20:38,321
Something was missing.

554
00:20:38,346 --> 00:20:42,145
Oh, I love when you say things
without really saying them.

555
00:20:43,877 --> 00:20:45,610
You meant me, right?

556
00:20:47,590 --> 00:20:49,586
Um... um, "Man Without A Face."

557
00:20:49,611 --> 00:20:50,620
"The Mummy."

558
00:20:50,645 --> 00:20:51,654
"Coma"!

559
00:20:51,790 --> 00:20:53,290
"I, Robot"?

560
00:20:53,382 --> 00:20:54,391
"Frozen"?

561
00:20:54,923 --> 00:20:56,337
"The Crying Game"!

562
00:20:56,362 --> 00:20:57,427
Ohhhh.

563
00:20:57,429 --> 00:20:59,029
What is wrong with you people?

564
00:20:59,054 --> 00:21:01,855
If he wants to see crying,
he should come and see me

565
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,339
in the kitchen with
all these dirty dishes.

566
00:21:04,535 --> 00:21:05,373
Fine.

567
00:21:05,398 --> 00:21:07,398
I will do plates and
I will do silverware,

568
00:21:07,423 --> 00:21:09,723
but nothing that requires soaking!

569
00:21:09,925 --> 00:21:11,938
Oh, you guys are so cute!

570
00:21:11,963 --> 00:21:13,143
Well, George is.

571
00:21:13,145 --> 00:21:14,878
Poppy's gonna need a personality.

572
00:21:15,879 --> 00:21:17,981
- Ooh!
- Sorry, dude. Total accident.

573
00:21:19,112 --> 00:21:21,064
Oh. He's gonna be a good dad.

574
00:21:21,089 --> 00:21:27,929
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
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