1 00:00:07,299 --> 00:00:08,633 What? 2 00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:10,176 No, I didn't steal this shit. 3 00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:12,053 If you bothered to watch last week's episode, 4 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,294 you'd know that. 5 00:00:15,307 --> 00:00:16,724 Police! 6 00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:18,809 Police! 7 00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:20,353 Jesus! 8 00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,938 - What the fuck, asshole? - Shit! 9 00:00:21,939 --> 00:00:23,689 What the fuck... 10 00:00:25,308 --> 00:00:26,651 Mikey? 11 00:00:26,652 --> 00:00:27,887 Frank. 12 00:00:27,888 --> 00:00:29,410 I deserve to feel special. 13 00:00:31,420 --> 00:00:33,088 Don't look at me like that. 14 00:00:33,089 --> 00:00:36,216 I've got a system. It's all going back. 15 00:00:36,217 --> 00:00:37,797 You're a disgrace, Gallagher. 16 00:00:37,798 --> 00:00:40,137 I never, ever want to see your face again, 17 00:00:40,138 --> 00:00:43,223 not on my campus and not ever in my army. 18 00:00:43,224 --> 00:00:45,590 - We clear, son? - Crystal, sir. 19 00:00:47,895 --> 00:00:49,897 Boy or girl? 20 00:00:49,898 --> 00:00:52,055 - Boy. - Tami? 21 00:00:52,056 --> 00:00:55,180 We don't know yet. She's still in surgery. 22 00:01:05,450 --> 00:01:10,170 Sync and corrections by btsix www.addic7ed.com 23 00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:13,378 ? Think of all the luck you got ? 24 00:01:13,379 --> 00:01:16,756 ? Know that it's not for naught ? 25 00:01:16,757 --> 00:01:19,801 ? You were beaming once before ? 26 00:01:19,802 --> 00:01:24,055 ? But it's not like that anymore ? 27 00:01:24,056 --> 00:01:27,559 ? What is this downside ? 28 00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:30,812 ? That you speak of? ? 29 00:01:30,813 --> 00:01:32,814 ? What is this feeling ? 30 00:01:32,815 --> 00:01:37,319 ? You're so sure of? ? 31 00:01:44,410 --> 00:01:47,913 ? Round up the friends you got ? 32 00:01:47,914 --> 00:01:50,999 ? Know that they're not for naught ? 33 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:54,044 ? You were willing once before ? 34 00:01:54,045 --> 00:01:58,632 ? But it's not like that anymore ? 35 00:01:58,633 --> 00:02:00,884 ? What is this downside ? 36 00:02:00,885 --> 00:02:05,222 ? That you speak of? ? 37 00:02:05,223 --> 00:02:07,182 ? What is this feeling ? 38 00:02:07,183 --> 00:02:11,062 ? You're so sure of? ? 39 00:02:19,737 --> 00:02:21,881 Hey, any of those glazed doughnut holes 40 00:02:21,882 --> 00:02:23,281 left down in the break room? 41 00:02:23,282 --> 00:02:24,534 Mm-hmm. 42 00:02:45,346 --> 00:02:49,975 Mm. 43 00:02:49,976 --> 00:02:51,560 Hey. 44 00:03:14,917 --> 00:03:18,004 Ugh! Get the fuck off me! 45 00:03:19,505 --> 00:03:20,604 What's your problem? 46 00:03:20,605 --> 00:03:22,215 I'm sick of the smell of goddamn mayonnaise. 47 00:03:22,216 --> 00:03:23,508 It's like getting screwed 48 00:03:23,509 --> 00:03:25,051 by a bowl of potato salad every morning. 49 00:03:25,052 --> 00:03:27,095 It's the only lube we have in this shithole. 50 00:03:27,096 --> 00:03:29,306 Well, it makes me wanna gag every time you come near me. 51 00:03:29,307 --> 00:03:31,182 Oh, yeah, 'cause you taking a shit every night at 8:15 52 00:03:31,183 --> 00:03:33,351 is a real fuckin' bed of roses. 53 00:03:33,352 --> 00:03:34,903 At least my shit gets flushed, 54 00:03:34,904 --> 00:03:36,896 unlike your coleslaw-smellin' dick. 55 00:03:36,897 --> 00:03:39,274 Can't be 8:30, can it? Or seven o'clock? 56 00:03:39,275 --> 00:03:41,234 No, Mickey has to shit every night 57 00:03:41,235 --> 00:03:42,620 at the exact same time. 58 00:03:42,621 --> 00:03:43,907 That's annoying. 59 00:03:43,908 --> 00:03:44,904 - Shut up! - Is it? 60 00:03:44,905 --> 00:03:46,740 Is it as annoying as the way you lick your finger 61 00:03:46,741 --> 00:03:48,575 every single time you turn the page 62 00:03:48,576 --> 00:03:50,209 of whatever faggety-ass book you're reading? 63 00:03:50,210 --> 00:03:51,536 - Okay. - "My name's Ian. 64 00:03:51,537 --> 00:03:53,538 I can't turn the page like a normal human being. 65 00:03:53,539 --> 00:03:55,540 I have to put my whole goddamn paw in my mouth." 66 00:03:55,541 --> 00:03:57,416 You know what? If you actually knew how to read, 67 00:03:57,417 --> 00:03:59,711 maybe you'd understand, not, "Look at these fucking 68 00:03:59,712 --> 00:04:02,255 squiggle-dings all over this piece of paper!" 69 00:04:02,256 --> 00:04:05,550 - Every morning, the same shit! - You're like old women! 70 00:04:05,551 --> 00:04:07,594 I came to prison to get away from my parents. 71 00:04:07,595 --> 00:04:09,637 Eat my cornhole, cocks! 72 00:04:09,638 --> 00:04:11,473 Not if it smells like mayonnaise. 73 00:04:11,474 --> 00:04:13,933 Exactly! 74 00:04:13,934 --> 00:04:16,269 Let's go! Line it up! 75 00:04:20,608 --> 00:04:21,775 Hey. 76 00:04:21,776 --> 00:04:24,444 I wanna see the warden about getting a new roommate. 77 00:04:24,445 --> 00:04:26,071 What is this, fuckin' summer camp? 78 00:04:26,072 --> 00:04:27,030 Get your ass to breakfast. 79 00:05:01,982 --> 00:05:04,275 Hey, we made it, huh? 80 00:05:04,276 --> 00:05:08,154 We're almost home. 81 00:05:16,330 --> 00:05:17,664 No problem. 82 00:05:29,785 --> 00:05:31,678 Asses up if you want coffee! 83 00:05:38,561 --> 00:05:40,687 You start bonin' dudes while I was away at school? 84 00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:44,168 Occasionally, if the mood strikes. 85 00:05:44,169 --> 00:05:45,434 I was talkin' to Frank. 86 00:05:45,435 --> 00:05:47,652 Can't two grown men share a bed together 87 00:05:47,653 --> 00:05:49,284 without it being sexual? 88 00:05:49,285 --> 00:05:51,741 No. 89 00:05:53,576 --> 00:05:54,788 Go for Carl. 90 00:05:54,789 --> 00:05:56,703 Yeah, yeah, it's still available. 91 00:05:56,704 --> 00:05:58,622 All right. I'll send you the address. 92 00:06:01,876 --> 00:06:03,668 Stinky, dirty, wet! 93 00:06:03,669 --> 00:06:05,728 Wash your own shit! 94 00:06:05,729 --> 00:06:07,672 You both owe me rent money. 95 00:06:07,673 --> 00:06:10,383 - Oh, come on. - Thirty-seven bucks a night, 96 00:06:10,384 --> 00:06:12,218 plus five if you'll be showering. 97 00:06:12,219 --> 00:06:14,433 - What about Carl? - I'm selling my military gear 98 00:06:14,434 --> 00:06:16,347 - to get some cash. - Electricity, gas, 99 00:06:16,348 --> 00:06:18,374 and water for the month is 48 bucks. 100 00:06:18,375 --> 00:06:20,018 Let me know if you'll be eating here. 101 00:06:20,019 --> 00:06:21,883 I have various meal plans available. 102 00:06:22,603 --> 00:06:24,627 You don't need to pay rent, Frank. 103 00:06:24,628 --> 00:06:27,199 You're the patriarch of this family. 104 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:28,693 He is? 105 00:06:28,694 --> 00:06:30,570 I'm keeping the coffee warm for ten minutes. 106 00:06:30,571 --> 00:06:32,113 Then I'm dumping it. 107 00:06:32,114 --> 00:06:33,615 Little Red Riding Twat 108 00:06:33,616 --> 00:06:36,785 needs to understand who's boss around here. 109 00:06:36,786 --> 00:06:38,561 Me? 110 00:06:38,562 --> 00:06:40,358 Yes, you. 111 00:06:52,510 --> 00:06:54,928 What's goin' on? 112 00:06:54,929 --> 00:06:57,180 Tryin' to figure out who I am, 113 00:06:57,181 --> 00:07:00,517 what's my identity... Dr. King, Dr. Dre? 114 00:07:00,518 --> 00:07:02,101 Maybe you should set your sights lower, 115 00:07:02,102 --> 00:07:04,225 you know, like Tiga, Nelly, 116 00:07:04,226 --> 00:07:05,772 or maybe one of the Wayans brothers. 117 00:07:05,773 --> 00:07:07,273 Or Lester Holt. 118 00:07:41,809 --> 00:07:44,394 - You Carl? - Who's asking? 119 00:07:44,395 --> 00:07:46,361 I answered an ad on Craigslist. 120 00:07:46,362 --> 00:07:48,195 Lookin' to buy some military gear. 121 00:07:48,196 --> 00:07:50,201 - It's all right here. - Cool. 122 00:07:50,202 --> 00:07:51,974 You take 75? 123 00:07:51,975 --> 00:07:53,326 Ad said 100. 124 00:07:53,327 --> 00:07:55,154 I figured I'd try. 125 00:07:55,155 --> 00:07:57,019 - Figured I'd walk away. - Wait, no, no, no. 126 00:07:57,020 --> 00:07:59,368 Here, here. It's fine. Hundred bucks. 127 00:08:01,245 --> 00:08:03,204 It's all there. I promise. 128 00:08:03,205 --> 00:08:05,498 I'm starting ROTC in the fall. 129 00:08:05,499 --> 00:08:06,833 - I gotta train this summer. - Mm. 130 00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:08,668 So what got you interested in becoming an officer? 131 00:08:08,669 --> 00:08:10,086 Went down to the recruiting offices, 132 00:08:10,087 --> 00:08:11,337 played them shoot-'em-up video games? 133 00:08:11,338 --> 00:08:12,847 Something like that. 134 00:08:14,447 --> 00:08:15,883 Can I have the bag? 135 00:08:15,884 --> 00:08:17,353 What, the recruiters make you think 136 00:08:17,354 --> 00:08:18,887 you're gonna become this officer, 137 00:08:18,888 --> 00:08:20,930 big war hero, leading men into battle? 138 00:08:20,931 --> 00:08:22,862 I don't know. Maybe. I guess. 139 00:08:22,863 --> 00:08:24,601 They tell you that you could be one of the very few, 140 00:08:24,602 --> 00:08:25,935 make a difference, 141 00:08:25,936 --> 00:08:27,562 that you could do something your life, 142 00:08:27,563 --> 00:08:28,956 change your destiny? 143 00:08:28,957 --> 00:08:30,690 Hey, might even become a general one day. 144 00:08:30,691 --> 00:08:33,735 My mom's gonna start worrying if I don't get home soon. 145 00:08:33,736 --> 00:08:35,651 You know that's a bunch of horseshit. 146 00:08:35,652 --> 00:08:37,864 They don't want guys like us to enlist as officers... 147 00:08:37,865 --> 00:08:39,983 You know, guys from the South Side, 148 00:08:39,984 --> 00:08:42,660 guys who aren't very smart, kinda slow. 149 00:08:42,661 --> 00:08:44,466 They're just trying to fill their quota, 150 00:08:44,467 --> 00:08:47,568 gettin' us hooked on the thrill of the kill. 151 00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:49,862 Then they spit us out when we can't handle 152 00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:51,447 quantum physics or even read. 153 00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:52,787 - I can read. - And then they leave us 154 00:08:52,788 --> 00:08:53,807 on the side of the road 155 00:08:53,808 --> 00:08:55,467 with the taste of blood in our mouths, 156 00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:57,759 and what do we do? We enlist as grunts. 157 00:08:57,760 --> 00:08:59,218 And while they get all the medals 158 00:08:59,219 --> 00:09:01,721 and cushy postings up in Japan and Germany, 159 00:09:01,722 --> 00:09:04,898 where are we, poor boys from disadvantaged backgrounds 160 00:09:04,899 --> 00:09:05,962 like you and me? 161 00:09:05,963 --> 00:09:08,936 Somalia, Fallujah, that's where. 162 00:09:08,937 --> 00:09:10,770 And then when we finally get sent home, 163 00:09:10,771 --> 00:09:12,223 it's in a body bag. 164 00:09:13,163 --> 00:09:14,234 Not me. 165 00:09:14,235 --> 00:09:16,552 Not Carl Gallagher. No, thank you. 166 00:09:16,553 --> 00:09:18,852 - I ain't no one's human shield. - Can I just have my money back 167 00:09:18,853 --> 00:09:20,072 if you're not gonna sell me the shit? 168 00:09:26,580 --> 00:09:30,792 Only thing left in these Oxy bottles is dust. 169 00:09:30,793 --> 00:09:33,378 You have a toothbrush I can use, Frank? 170 00:09:33,379 --> 00:09:35,232 They're communal. Just grab one. 171 00:09:37,091 --> 00:09:39,343 The fuck is that? 172 00:09:43,639 --> 00:09:46,276 How 'bout we head over to that Russian bakery 173 00:09:46,277 --> 00:09:48,935 and snag some of those muffin samples for breakfast, huh? 174 00:09:48,936 --> 00:09:50,656 No can do, partner. 175 00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:53,184 We gotta hit the streets, do some work. 176 00:09:53,185 --> 00:09:54,343 What? Why? 177 00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:56,109 You heard Debbie. 178 00:09:56,110 --> 00:09:59,050 - Rent money. - You're not seriously gonna do 179 00:09:59,051 --> 00:10:00,613 what she told you to do, are you? 180 00:10:00,614 --> 00:10:04,728 That girl's got a serious dose of her mother's crazy DNA. 181 00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:06,661 We come home with empty pockets, 182 00:10:06,662 --> 00:10:08,406 she may cut our tits off. 183 00:10:08,407 --> 00:10:10,052 How 'bout your kids? They got any money 184 00:10:10,053 --> 00:10:11,457 - we could bum off 'em? - Not a cent. 185 00:10:11,458 --> 00:10:13,349 I went through their backpacks last night 186 00:10:13,350 --> 00:10:14,667 while they were sleeping. 187 00:10:15,337 --> 00:10:17,255 Me too. 188 00:10:17,256 --> 00:10:20,483 Mm, I'm afraid it's an honest day's work 189 00:10:20,484 --> 00:10:22,436 for you and me, mi amigo. 190 00:10:22,437 --> 00:10:24,554 Any scams you wanna try? 191 00:10:24,555 --> 00:10:26,806 How 'bout the Distract and Grab? 192 00:10:26,807 --> 00:10:27,932 Could do the Melon Drop. 193 00:10:27,933 --> 00:10:29,600 Old-fashioned Pig in the Poke? 194 00:10:29,601 --> 00:10:33,438 I'm always down for a classic Ukrainian Peekaboo. 195 00:10:33,439 --> 00:10:35,096 All good by me. 196 00:10:35,097 --> 00:10:36,108 All right. 197 00:10:38,235 --> 00:10:39,360 It's just a crime, that's all, 198 00:10:39,361 --> 00:10:42,577 that-that Debbie doesn't give you 199 00:10:42,578 --> 00:10:44,517 the respect you deserve. 200 00:10:45,409 --> 00:10:46,993 Tell me about it. 201 00:10:46,994 --> 00:10:50,663 You know, you sacrificed so much for her. 202 00:10:50,664 --> 00:10:52,465 That, I did. 203 00:10:52,466 --> 00:10:54,350 You know, she's ungrateful... 204 00:10:54,351 --> 00:10:55,626 - Yep. - ...entitled... 205 00:10:55,627 --> 00:10:57,060 - Mm-hmm. - ...spoiled. 206 00:10:57,061 --> 00:10:58,671 You know her well. 207 00:10:58,672 --> 00:10:59,964 Too bad there's not a way 208 00:10:59,965 --> 00:11:01,674 we could take control away from her, 209 00:11:01,675 --> 00:11:03,926 you know, make you... make you the king of the house, 210 00:11:03,927 --> 00:11:06,137 you know, you set the rules here. 211 00:11:06,138 --> 00:11:07,738 Y-yeah, but how? 212 00:11:09,183 --> 00:11:12,518 I'm not sure. I mean, wishful thinking, I guess. 213 00:11:12,519 --> 00:11:14,261 I gotta go get dressed. 214 00:11:14,262 --> 00:11:15,980 I don't wanna be late for work. 215 00:11:27,493 --> 00:11:29,285 Check it out, Franny. 216 00:11:29,286 --> 00:11:31,662 I've worn these guys, like, 15 times, 217 00:11:31,663 --> 00:11:33,873 and they're in perfect... condition. 218 00:11:33,874 --> 00:11:35,249 Ha. 219 00:11:35,250 --> 00:11:36,584 Ready to be returned to the store today. 220 00:11:36,585 --> 00:11:40,171 The key is plastic sole protectors. 221 00:11:40,172 --> 00:11:42,381 Your mama's a genius. 222 00:11:42,382 --> 00:11:45,802 - Can I get 125 bucks? - I'm sure you can, 223 00:11:45,803 --> 00:11:47,470 if you got a job instead of lounging around 224 00:11:47,471 --> 00:11:49,222 watching YouTube videos all summer. 225 00:11:49,223 --> 00:11:51,265 From my share of the Fiona money. 226 00:11:51,266 --> 00:11:53,267 Mm... no. 227 00:11:53,268 --> 00:11:55,577 - Why not? - It's in the bank... 228 00:11:55,578 --> 00:11:57,938 getting two point four percent compound interest. 229 00:11:57,939 --> 00:12:00,024 Isn't it supposed to be all of our money? 230 00:12:00,025 --> 00:12:01,734 What do you need it for anyways? 231 00:12:01,735 --> 00:12:03,736 You get some girl in trouble or something? 232 00:12:03,737 --> 00:12:06,030 No! I'm ten. 233 00:12:06,031 --> 00:12:08,324 Besides, abortions are free anyway. 234 00:12:08,325 --> 00:12:09,867 They are? 235 00:12:11,161 --> 00:12:12,537 The state of Illinois 236 00:12:12,538 --> 00:12:15,581 supports women having control of their bodies. 237 00:12:15,582 --> 00:12:16,958 What do you need it for, then? 238 00:12:16,959 --> 00:12:18,615 A DNA test. 239 00:12:18,616 --> 00:12:20,428 Monica already did one of those. 240 00:12:20,429 --> 00:12:22,318 Your hers... and Frank's. 241 00:12:22,319 --> 00:12:23,673 Sorry to tell you. 242 00:12:23,674 --> 00:12:27,301 An africanancestry.com DNA test. 243 00:12:27,302 --> 00:12:29,262 Wanna see where I come from. 244 00:12:29,263 --> 00:12:31,764 You come from Africa. Happy? 245 00:12:32,691 --> 00:12:34,000 Are you ready to go? 246 00:12:34,518 --> 00:12:36,102 Let's go. 247 00:12:39,273 --> 00:12:41,858 Let go, baby. 248 00:12:48,448 --> 00:12:50,992 - Hey, Debs. - Hey. 249 00:12:50,993 --> 00:12:52,118 Here's the new daddy. 250 00:12:52,119 --> 00:12:53,953 Hey, Franny. 251 00:12:53,954 --> 00:12:55,621 What's up with that glove? 252 00:12:55,622 --> 00:12:57,290 Oh, I stole a few from the hospital 253 00:12:57,291 --> 00:12:59,959 so I'm not touching him with a smoky hand later, you know? 254 00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:02,253 Or you could just quit. 255 00:13:02,254 --> 00:13:04,657 Oh, hi! 256 00:13:04,658 --> 00:13:07,341 There's my sweet little nephew. 257 00:13:07,342 --> 00:13:08,733 What'd you decide to name him? 258 00:13:08,734 --> 00:13:09,853 Freddie. 259 00:13:09,854 --> 00:13:11,971 Like Kruger? 260 00:13:11,972 --> 00:13:14,390 Uh... Fred, then. 261 00:13:14,391 --> 00:13:16,410 - Fred Flintstone? - I don't know. 262 00:13:16,411 --> 00:13:17,768 I was tired as shit when I filled out the forms 263 00:13:17,769 --> 00:13:19,103 at the hospital. 264 00:13:19,104 --> 00:13:20,646 It was the first name I thought of. 265 00:13:20,647 --> 00:13:23,316 It's my professor's name, Clyde Fred Youens. 266 00:13:23,317 --> 00:13:24,985 Hopefully Tami likes it. 267 00:13:24,986 --> 00:13:27,236 We didn't really have a chance to discuss it. 268 00:13:27,237 --> 00:13:29,532 - How's she doin'? - She's got a bad infection. 269 00:13:29,533 --> 00:13:31,754 She's all jacked up on drugs. 270 00:13:31,755 --> 00:13:33,340 It's a little touch-and-go. 271 00:13:35,162 --> 00:13:37,079 I think she'll be fine. 272 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:39,582 You know, hopefully she'll be fine. 273 00:13:39,583 --> 00:13:41,710 Yeah. I'm sorry. 274 00:13:43,587 --> 00:13:46,088 All right, well... 275 00:13:46,089 --> 00:13:47,673 ...see you later. 276 00:13:47,674 --> 00:13:48,674 - Come on, Franny. - Bye. Wait, whoa. 277 00:13:48,675 --> 00:13:51,010 You're not gonna help me out today? 278 00:13:51,011 --> 00:13:52,848 No can do. I got shit to do. 279 00:13:52,849 --> 00:13:54,305 The new couch is getting delivered today. 280 00:13:54,306 --> 00:13:55,473 Can you make sure to let the delivery guy in? 281 00:13:55,474 --> 00:13:58,588 Come on, Debs, I-I need a nap. I've been up, like, 27 hours. 282 00:13:58,589 --> 00:14:00,978 Get used to it. It's your new normal. 283 00:14:00,979 --> 00:14:03,522 Fine. Yeah, no, we'll be... 284 00:14:03,523 --> 00:14:05,733 we'll be fine. 285 00:14:08,362 --> 00:14:10,363 Shit! Hey. 286 00:14:13,010 --> 00:14:15,393 _ 287 00:14:19,831 --> 00:14:21,833 Good-bye, LeBrons. 288 00:14:23,752 --> 00:14:26,671 Here you go. Take 'em. 289 00:14:26,672 --> 00:14:28,677 Thought they were gonna help me play b-ball better, 290 00:14:28,678 --> 00:14:30,049 but... 291 00:14:30,050 --> 00:14:32,843 I guess I'm, uh, 292 00:14:32,844 --> 00:14:34,250 past my prime. 293 00:14:35,013 --> 00:14:36,847 Just the middleman here, amigo. 294 00:14:36,848 --> 00:14:39,392 Got a can in this place? 295 00:14:39,393 --> 00:14:40,727 Yeah, right over there. 296 00:14:42,062 --> 00:14:45,189 I'll take a beer and a shot of Jaeger when I'm out. 297 00:14:45,190 --> 00:14:46,399 Okay. 298 00:14:49,987 --> 00:14:51,904 He just leaves them here? 299 00:14:51,905 --> 00:14:54,465 Maybe he's telling you it's okay to pull a Scamazon. 300 00:14:54,466 --> 00:14:56,826 - A what? - Scamazon. 301 00:14:56,827 --> 00:14:59,286 I returned my microwave, 302 00:14:59,287 --> 00:15:03,290 except I put a brick in the box instead of the microwave. 303 00:15:03,291 --> 00:15:05,751 Soon as On Board Shipping scanned the return, 304 00:15:05,752 --> 00:15:08,750 my money was instantly credited back to me. 305 00:15:08,751 --> 00:15:10,662 They never checked inside the box. 306 00:15:10,663 --> 00:15:12,817 That's genius. 307 00:15:12,818 --> 00:15:15,094 ...ly stupid is what I was gonna say. 308 00:15:15,095 --> 00:15:17,523 - Why's that again? - Because it's wrong. 309 00:15:17,524 --> 00:15:18,630 It's wrong. 310 00:15:18,631 --> 00:15:20,224 Not if it's a big corporation. 311 00:15:20,225 --> 00:15:21,434 Yeah, he's right. 312 00:15:21,435 --> 00:15:22,935 I'd never do it to a little guy, you know, 313 00:15:22,936 --> 00:15:24,892 like some mom-and-pop place. 314 00:15:24,893 --> 00:15:27,815 But a big company, they factor that stuff in. 315 00:15:27,816 --> 00:15:30,151 It's stealing no matter who you do it to. 316 00:15:30,152 --> 00:15:31,444 Then I guess you don't wanna know 317 00:15:31,445 --> 00:15:33,070 about another way to Scamazon. 318 00:15:33,071 --> 00:15:34,113 - No. - Yes. 319 00:15:34,114 --> 00:15:35,448 I ordered shit, 320 00:15:35,449 --> 00:15:37,074 told them that I didn't receive it, 321 00:15:37,075 --> 00:15:38,492 even though I did. 322 00:15:38,493 --> 00:15:40,202 So they sent me another. 323 00:15:40,203 --> 00:15:42,121 You mean I coulda got two pairs of sneakers? 324 00:15:42,122 --> 00:15:43,826 That's why I have two fleshlights. 325 00:15:43,827 --> 00:15:45,958 You saying flashlight or fleshlight? 326 00:15:45,959 --> 00:15:48,169 I think you know what I'm sayin'. 327 00:15:48,170 --> 00:15:49,756 That delivery guy's dead. 328 00:15:49,757 --> 00:15:51,798 Can I have another beer, please? 329 00:15:53,717 --> 00:15:55,051 What? 330 00:15:55,052 --> 00:15:56,830 He said he wants another beer. 331 00:15:57,888 --> 00:16:01,640 - Aw, jeez. - Oh, jeez. 332 00:16:01,641 --> 00:16:02,850 What's he doing with a belt around his neck 333 00:16:02,851 --> 00:16:05,269 - while he was taking a piss? - He was jacking off, Kev. 334 00:16:05,270 --> 00:16:07,578 And strangling himself at the same time. 335 00:16:07,579 --> 00:16:08,724 Why? 336 00:16:08,725 --> 00:16:10,597 - 'Cause it feels good. - Mm. 337 00:16:10,598 --> 00:16:12,318 Is that that autoerotic shit? 338 00:16:12,319 --> 00:16:13,289 - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. 339 00:16:13,290 --> 00:16:15,595 Aw, dude, come on! 340 00:16:15,596 --> 00:16:16,795 I never had the courage. 341 00:16:16,796 --> 00:16:18,199 Why the fuck's he doing it in our bathroom? 342 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:19,784 Couldn't he wait till he got home? 343 00:16:19,785 --> 00:16:22,328 - When the urge hits... - You guys are idiots. 344 00:16:22,329 --> 00:16:23,996 He didn't use a lemon. 345 00:16:23,997 --> 00:16:25,790 Even I don't know that one. 346 00:16:25,791 --> 00:16:27,875 Y-you keep a lemon in your mouth. 347 00:16:27,876 --> 00:16:30,062 That way, when you pass out and start to seize, 348 00:16:30,063 --> 00:16:32,671 you bite into the lemon, wake yourself up. 349 00:16:32,672 --> 00:16:35,007 Maybe I should try that sometime, then. 350 00:16:35,008 --> 00:16:37,134 - So what do we do now? - Call the cops. 351 00:16:37,135 --> 00:16:39,378 Or we could raid his truck first. 352 00:16:39,379 --> 00:16:40,792 - Yes. - Yeah. 353 00:16:40,793 --> 00:16:42,014 - I mean, dead is dead. - Yeah. 354 00:16:42,015 --> 00:16:43,349 What's a couple of hours? 355 00:16:43,350 --> 00:16:45,640 - That's a good point. Let's go. - Yeah. 356 00:16:45,641 --> 00:16:47,394 Hold on! Stop. 357 00:16:47,395 --> 00:16:49,188 V's right. Stop. 358 00:16:49,189 --> 00:16:51,065 This joker comes into my bathroom, 359 00:16:51,066 --> 00:16:53,025 jacks off, chokes himself, 360 00:16:53,026 --> 00:16:55,052 then was gonna have a shot and a beer, 361 00:16:55,053 --> 00:16:57,154 go back on his big truck to work 362 00:16:57,155 --> 00:16:59,522 all hammered and jizzed out... Do I have this right? 363 00:16:59,523 --> 00:17:00,825 - Absolutely correct. - Yeah. 364 00:17:00,826 --> 00:17:01,826 One hundred percent. 365 00:17:03,495 --> 00:17:05,427 Fuck him. He coulda killed a kid. 366 00:17:05,428 --> 00:17:07,127 He deserves to have his truck ransacked. 367 00:17:07,128 --> 00:17:08,999 Move. I got first dibs. 368 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,125 That's my girl. 369 00:17:14,965 --> 00:17:17,216 One-eighty over 120. 370 00:17:17,217 --> 00:17:20,344 That's high, Ernesto. You gotta cut out the salt. 371 00:17:20,345 --> 00:17:22,221 Salt's the only edible thing in this place. 372 00:17:22,222 --> 00:17:23,681 Yeah, well... 373 00:17:23,682 --> 00:17:25,766 About halfway finished there, Chester. 374 00:17:25,767 --> 00:17:28,978 Put some Drano in the line, take me outta my misery. 375 00:17:28,979 --> 00:17:30,396 Hey, come on, now. 376 00:17:30,397 --> 00:17:31,814 You're up for a compassionate release, right? 377 00:17:31,815 --> 00:17:35,027 Compassionate release, my ass. 378 00:17:35,028 --> 00:17:38,154 The only person my release would be compassionate to 379 00:17:38,155 --> 00:17:41,017 is Mr. Johnny Dingleberry taxpayer 380 00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:42,769 who doesn't wanna foot the bill 381 00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:44,854 for my medical expenses in here. 382 00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:47,094 You get to see your family, your friends. 383 00:17:47,095 --> 00:17:48,539 They're all dead. 384 00:17:48,540 --> 00:17:51,500 Why do you think they put me in here in the first place? 385 00:17:51,501 --> 00:17:52,918 Make new friends. 386 00:17:52,919 --> 00:17:55,754 I been in here for 30 years. 387 00:17:55,755 --> 00:17:58,122 I wouldn't survive two days out there. 388 00:17:58,123 --> 00:17:59,418 I'm pissin' blood. 389 00:17:59,419 --> 00:18:01,526 My shingles are flarin' up. 390 00:18:01,527 --> 00:18:03,763 And I've got dementia... 391 00:18:03,764 --> 00:18:04,941 I think. 392 00:18:04,942 --> 00:18:07,320 Hey, let me ask you a question. 393 00:18:08,685 --> 00:18:11,717 How'd you and Marco survive in that cell all those years 394 00:18:11,718 --> 00:18:13,514 - without killing each other? - Oh, that's easy. 395 00:18:13,515 --> 00:18:15,095 You ju... 396 00:18:15,096 --> 00:18:16,442 Oh, wait, now. 397 00:18:17,662 --> 00:18:18,921 Who's Marco? 398 00:18:18,922 --> 00:18:20,141 Your prison wife. 399 00:18:20,822 --> 00:18:22,954 You were together, like, 12 years. 400 00:18:23,580 --> 00:18:26,953 He's six-foot-five, Hispanic. 401 00:18:26,954 --> 00:18:28,496 He likes to eat people's faces. 402 00:18:28,497 --> 00:18:30,873 Does sound like someone I'd date. 403 00:18:30,874 --> 00:18:32,208 Okay, never mind. 404 00:18:32,209 --> 00:18:34,793 Are you talkin' about you and Mickey? 405 00:18:34,794 --> 00:18:36,870 Okay, you remember Mickey but not Marco? 406 00:18:36,871 --> 00:18:39,423 Who's Marco? 407 00:18:39,424 --> 00:18:41,467 - Forget about it. - Uh, you and your fella 408 00:18:41,468 --> 00:18:43,552 just need a little time apart, 409 00:18:43,553 --> 00:18:45,769 a temporary separation. 410 00:18:45,770 --> 00:18:47,640 A mini vacation. 411 00:18:47,641 --> 00:18:49,617 How am I supposed to do that in prison? 412 00:18:49,618 --> 00:18:50,972 I'll tell ya how. 413 00:18:53,181 --> 00:18:55,147 But you need to stab me. 414 00:18:55,148 --> 00:18:57,816 Just deep enough so they have to keep me here, 415 00:18:57,817 --> 00:19:02,465 and then you can go to solitary for a couple of weeks. 416 00:19:04,741 --> 00:19:06,575 Let's go while I'm middle-aged, huh? 417 00:19:06,576 --> 00:19:08,440 - Hurry up, Kev! - I'm trying. 418 00:19:08,441 --> 00:19:10,153 He's got, like, a million keys. 419 00:19:10,154 --> 00:19:11,664 Let's go. I'm losin' my beer buzz. 420 00:19:11,665 --> 00:19:13,686 Okay, I hear all of you! 421 00:19:13,687 --> 00:19:16,011 Dude, let's go, come on. 422 00:19:16,012 --> 00:19:17,461 Got it. Jackpot! 423 00:19:17,462 --> 00:19:18,712 Stand back. 424 00:19:24,010 --> 00:19:25,844 - Oh, wow. - Holy shit. 425 00:19:25,845 --> 00:19:27,805 Gimme some! 426 00:19:29,099 --> 00:19:32,142 This is like rich people Christmas. 427 00:19:32,143 --> 00:19:34,195 God is great! 428 00:19:34,196 --> 00:19:36,146 I been praying for this moment since I was six years old. 429 00:19:36,147 --> 00:19:37,914 My good karma is finally paying off. 430 00:19:37,915 --> 00:19:40,067 Shut up, Kevin. Hoist me up. 431 00:19:41,444 --> 00:19:42,922 Yeah, that one right there. 432 00:19:42,923 --> 00:19:46,052 Lyft should be here in a sec. 433 00:19:46,053 --> 00:19:49,065 Silver... "Ha-wan-day." Is that how you say that? 434 00:19:49,066 --> 00:19:50,012 "Hundye." 435 00:19:50,013 --> 00:19:52,388 I think it's "Hunday." 436 00:19:52,389 --> 00:19:54,292 You wanna get hit or cut? 437 00:19:54,293 --> 00:19:56,208 Let's flip a coin. 438 00:19:56,209 --> 00:19:58,877 If we had a coin, we wouldn't be out here. 439 00:19:58,878 --> 00:20:00,754 - I'll get cut. - Sounds good. 440 00:20:00,755 --> 00:20:02,047 I'll get hit. 441 00:20:02,048 --> 00:20:03,215 Okay. 442 00:20:03,216 --> 00:20:04,883 See you around the corner. 443 00:20:08,430 --> 00:20:10,723 Mickey? 444 00:20:10,724 --> 00:20:12,975 It's Mikey. 445 00:20:12,976 --> 00:20:15,019 Who the fuck is Mickey? 446 00:20:23,945 --> 00:20:25,946 How's your day going so far? 447 00:20:25,947 --> 00:20:28,073 Oh, uh, fine. 448 00:20:28,074 --> 00:20:30,868 Um, could you put on a little classical music? 449 00:20:30,869 --> 00:20:31,619 Yeah, sure thing. 450 00:20:36,750 --> 00:20:38,417 Oh, shit! 451 00:20:38,418 --> 00:20:40,753 Ahh! Ohh! Ahh! 452 00:20:40,754 --> 00:20:41,837 Watch what you're doing, lady! 453 00:20:41,838 --> 00:20:44,923 You just hit that man! 454 00:20:44,924 --> 00:20:47,426 - Oh, God! - Are you okay? 455 00:20:47,427 --> 00:20:49,261 I think you broke my leg. 456 00:20:49,262 --> 00:20:51,680 - Oh, God! - And my face, it's bleeding! 457 00:20:51,681 --> 00:20:53,390 Um, okay, stay right there. I'll call the police 458 00:20:53,391 --> 00:20:55,768 - and an ambulance. - Oh, oh, oh! Oh, no! 459 00:20:55,769 --> 00:20:57,811 I-I-I can go to the ER myself. 460 00:20:57,812 --> 00:21:00,022 I'll probably hobble there myself too. 461 00:21:00,023 --> 00:21:01,148 No, but your leg! I'll drive you both. 462 00:21:01,149 --> 00:21:03,942 No disrespect, but... 463 00:21:03,943 --> 00:21:06,153 I'm too scared to get in your death mobile again. 464 00:21:06,154 --> 00:21:08,614 Hey, what are they hitting ya for at the ER these days? 465 00:21:08,615 --> 00:21:10,199 Couple hundy. 466 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:11,116 Oy. I'm no Rockefeller. 467 00:21:11,117 --> 00:21:15,120 I-I'm just gonna wait till my leg heals. 468 00:21:16,956 --> 00:21:20,585 Unless... you wanted to make things right. 469 00:21:24,069 --> 00:21:26,757 You fools are a couple of scam artists, aren't you? 470 00:21:26,758 --> 00:21:28,196 - What are you talking about? - No! 471 00:21:28,197 --> 00:21:29,218 Oh, wait, wait, wait. 472 00:21:29,219 --> 00:21:33,097 You old farts need to get fresh. 473 00:21:34,808 --> 00:21:36,392 Hey, wait. You're leaving... 474 00:21:36,393 --> 00:21:38,469 you're leaving a crime scene! 475 00:21:40,218 --> 00:21:41,928 Fresh? 476 00:21:43,963 --> 00:21:45,965 You wanna go again? 477 00:21:45,966 --> 00:21:47,986 I'll get cut this time. 478 00:21:47,987 --> 00:21:49,406 Fresh. 479 00:21:52,575 --> 00:21:54,493 Dude, your kid is totally white. 480 00:21:54,494 --> 00:21:57,621 Doesn't even look like he has one drop of black blood in him. 481 00:21:57,622 --> 00:22:00,165 Yeah, well, have you seen his parents? 482 00:22:00,166 --> 00:22:01,333 You know, when we screwed, 483 00:22:01,334 --> 00:22:03,001 it was like two pieces of chalk fucking. 484 00:22:03,002 --> 00:22:04,753 Isn't it easier just to quit smoking? 485 00:22:04,754 --> 00:22:06,039 Plannin' on it, but... 486 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:07,339 I thought I'd have a lot more time 487 00:22:07,340 --> 00:22:09,758 before the baby came, and, you know, besides, 488 00:22:09,759 --> 00:22:12,052 the nicotine's keeping me awake and... 489 00:22:12,053 --> 00:22:13,512 calm my nerves. 490 00:22:13,513 --> 00:22:15,389 This dad shit's scary. 491 00:22:15,390 --> 00:22:16,849 - You raised us. - Yeah, but I didn't care 492 00:22:16,850 --> 00:22:18,517 if I killed you guys. 493 00:22:18,518 --> 00:22:19,979 I wanna keep Freddie alive. 494 00:22:21,187 --> 00:22:23,105 Why am I the only one in the family 495 00:22:23,106 --> 00:22:24,565 that has black skin? 496 00:22:24,566 --> 00:22:26,567 Think it has something to do with Monica's granddad, 497 00:22:26,568 --> 00:22:29,778 although we never really got a straight answer. 498 00:22:29,779 --> 00:22:32,138 Sucks not knowing my family tree. 499 00:22:32,139 --> 00:22:33,532 Who cares? 500 00:22:33,533 --> 00:22:35,617 - You're a Gallagher. - Yeah. 501 00:22:35,618 --> 00:22:37,453 In this house, I am, but out there, 502 00:22:37,454 --> 00:22:39,955 I'm a black kid that lives on the South Side of Chicago. 503 00:22:41,875 --> 00:22:43,709 I went to Urban Outfitters, 504 00:22:43,710 --> 00:22:46,378 and a security guard followed me for 20 minutes. 505 00:22:46,379 --> 00:22:48,422 Says "urban" in their title. 506 00:22:48,423 --> 00:22:50,841 Okay, he's hungry. 507 00:22:50,842 --> 00:22:52,551 Uh, this is gonna be his first feeding at home. 508 00:22:52,552 --> 00:22:55,345 You have a bottle or something I can warm up? 509 00:22:55,346 --> 00:22:58,223 Nope. Tami wants me to breastfeed him. 510 00:22:58,224 --> 00:22:59,934 How? 511 00:23:02,061 --> 00:23:03,645 Oh. 512 00:23:03,646 --> 00:23:06,565 I know it's ridiculous, but... 513 00:23:06,566 --> 00:23:11,570 Tami says he needs to learn how to latch onto the boob. 514 00:23:11,571 --> 00:23:14,823 Yeah, it's also good for attachment and shit. 515 00:23:14,824 --> 00:23:17,409 Here we go. Let's show Liam how we do it, huh? 516 00:23:17,410 --> 00:23:20,078 You wanna show Uncle Liam? 517 00:23:20,079 --> 00:23:21,747 You wanna show Uncle Liam? Here we go. Here we go. 518 00:23:21,748 --> 00:23:23,248 Here we go. Shh, shh, shh. 519 00:23:23,249 --> 00:23:25,626 A little suck. A little suck. 520 00:23:25,627 --> 00:23:28,170 Little suck, little suck. 521 00:23:28,171 --> 00:23:29,963 And shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. 522 00:23:32,175 --> 00:23:33,383 He-e-ey! 523 00:23:33,384 --> 00:23:34,980 Hey, he did it! 524 00:23:34,981 --> 00:23:37,375 He did it. He's sucking. He latched! 525 00:23:37,376 --> 00:23:40,313 You're like a walking PSA to wear a condom. 526 00:23:54,572 --> 00:23:57,449 Okay, so that's three Cap'n Bob's fish specials, 527 00:23:57,450 --> 00:24:00,410 one with tots, one with fries, and one with slaw. 528 00:24:00,411 --> 00:24:01,788 Be ready in 15. 529 00:24:02,664 --> 00:24:04,581 Yo, where do you think you're going? 530 00:24:04,582 --> 00:24:06,083 Are you deaf or something? 531 00:24:06,084 --> 00:24:08,627 I'm looking for Lori. She, uh, doing a bank run? 532 00:24:08,628 --> 00:24:10,474 You want me to cap your ass or what? 533 00:24:10,475 --> 00:24:12,995 - I'd like to see you try. - Don't think I won't. 534 00:24:12,996 --> 00:24:14,582 Carl Gallagher. 535 00:24:14,583 --> 00:24:15,676 Hey. 536 00:24:15,677 --> 00:24:19,638 Mm. Smells as good as the day I met ya. 537 00:24:19,639 --> 00:24:21,473 You're Carl. 538 00:24:21,474 --> 00:24:22,654 Yeah. Heard of me? 539 00:24:22,655 --> 00:24:25,727 This is Anne Gonzalez, assistant manager. 540 00:24:25,728 --> 00:24:28,647 Tough as nails. She keeps everybody in line. 541 00:24:32,026 --> 00:24:33,485 So... 542 00:24:33,486 --> 00:24:35,235 you ready to get back to work? 543 00:24:35,236 --> 00:24:37,282 - Yeah. - Great. 544 00:24:38,825 --> 00:24:40,479 Hey, Dirk, 545 00:24:41,295 --> 00:24:43,078 Carl's back. 546 00:24:43,079 --> 00:24:44,956 Arrivederci, buddy. 547 00:24:45,331 --> 00:24:47,499 Oh, shit. 548 00:24:47,500 --> 00:24:49,084 I'm sorry, Wheels. 549 00:24:49,085 --> 00:24:50,961 I told you this day was gonna come. 550 00:24:50,962 --> 00:24:52,170 You firing me, Lori? 551 00:24:52,171 --> 00:24:53,338 You should be collecting disability. 552 00:24:53,339 --> 00:24:55,215 What you wanna work for anyway? 553 00:24:55,216 --> 00:24:57,667 - Have a purpose in life? - Overrated. 554 00:24:59,053 --> 00:25:00,888 I'll go get your uniform. 555 00:25:00,889 --> 00:25:03,307 I been savin' it. 556 00:25:03,308 --> 00:25:04,600 - Can I help you? - Picking up an order 557 00:25:04,601 --> 00:25:06,060 for Pedro. 558 00:25:07,353 --> 00:25:11,690 Uh, two shrimp tacos. That's $7.70. 559 00:25:11,691 --> 00:25:15,319 Friend said I should ask for extra tartar sauce. 560 00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:17,076 It's 26 bucks for the tartar sauce. 561 00:25:17,077 --> 00:25:18,781 And $7.70 for the tacos. 562 00:25:24,871 --> 00:25:26,079 Here you go. 563 00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:28,457 Did you get my letters? 564 00:25:28,458 --> 00:25:31,116 Yeah. Why'd you send me dick pics? 565 00:25:31,117 --> 00:25:33,378 It wasn't my dick, silly. 566 00:25:33,379 --> 00:25:35,923 Now, get your cute keister to work. 567 00:25:35,924 --> 00:25:37,591 Fryolator's calling your name. 568 00:25:59,337 --> 00:26:01,573 - Okay, would you stop doing that? - Stop fucking doing that. 569 00:26:01,574 --> 00:26:03,700 For the love of Christ, not again! 570 00:26:03,701 --> 00:26:05,718 Mind your business, Enzo! 571 00:26:05,719 --> 00:26:07,704 We need to talk. 572 00:26:07,705 --> 00:26:10,049 - About what? - About the fact 573 00:26:10,050 --> 00:26:11,166 that we wanna kill each other. 574 00:26:11,167 --> 00:26:12,339 I don't know what you want from me. 575 00:26:12,340 --> 00:26:13,461 Stop bein' so annoying! 576 00:26:15,296 --> 00:26:17,673 You remember when we first got here? 577 00:26:17,674 --> 00:26:19,299 We had fun together. 578 00:26:19,300 --> 00:26:21,843 Yeah. All we did was bang. 579 00:26:21,844 --> 00:26:23,508 We laughed too. 580 00:26:24,348 --> 00:26:26,001 What happened to us? 581 00:26:26,610 --> 00:26:28,266 This place happened. 582 00:26:29,310 --> 00:26:30,756 Gets to ya. 583 00:26:31,771 --> 00:26:33,518 I don't want it to. 584 00:26:33,519 --> 00:26:36,075 Well, don't really have much of a choice. 585 00:26:39,329 --> 00:26:40,894 How 'bout, like, a... 586 00:26:42,001 --> 00:26:43,615 temporary separation? 587 00:26:43,616 --> 00:26:47,077 - How we supposed to do that? - Well, I could stab Chester. 588 00:26:47,078 --> 00:26:48,451 What you wanna stab Chester for? 589 00:26:48,452 --> 00:26:50,372 - He's gonna get released soon. - Who gives a shit? 590 00:26:50,373 --> 00:26:52,277 So if I stab him, he gets to stay and... 591 00:26:52,278 --> 00:26:53,544 What are you talking about right now? 592 00:26:53,545 --> 00:26:55,114 And I get sent to solitary. 593 00:26:58,089 --> 00:27:00,855 Wait. A-are you dumpin' me? 594 00:27:02,021 --> 00:27:03,326 - We need a break. - Fuck you. 595 00:27:03,327 --> 00:27:05,804 We can't keep goin' on like this. 596 00:27:05,805 --> 00:27:08,140 Okay, you want a break? I'll give you a break. 597 00:27:08,141 --> 00:27:10,183 I'm gonna stab Chester, and I'm gonna go to solitary. 598 00:27:10,184 --> 00:27:11,630 - What are you talking about? - You're not dumping me. 599 00:27:11,631 --> 00:27:13,894 I'm dumping you. Where's the shiv? 600 00:27:13,895 --> 00:27:15,480 Where'd you put it? 601 00:27:15,481 --> 00:27:17,396 And no, you're not stabbing him. I am. 602 00:27:17,397 --> 00:27:19,191 Free country. 603 00:27:19,192 --> 00:27:20,860 You're an asshole. 604 00:27:20,861 --> 00:27:22,510 Takes one to know one, bitch. 605 00:27:27,326 --> 00:27:28,703 God. 606 00:27:30,830 --> 00:27:32,998 Ah! 607 00:27:32,999 --> 00:27:34,374 Found it, bitch. 608 00:27:34,375 --> 00:27:37,002 Lockdown. 609 00:27:37,003 --> 00:27:39,337 Oh, you're kidding me. 610 00:27:45,887 --> 00:27:47,596 Hey. 611 00:27:47,597 --> 00:27:48,723 I'm here to return these shoes. 612 00:27:52,769 --> 00:27:53,894 - Anything wrong with them? - No. 613 00:27:53,895 --> 00:27:57,355 I've just got so many of them at home. 614 00:27:57,356 --> 00:28:00,275 - Do you have the receipt? - Sure do. 615 00:28:00,276 --> 00:28:01,986 Here you go. 616 00:28:04,734 --> 00:28:06,364 Thirty days exactly. 617 00:28:06,365 --> 00:28:07,449 Mm. 618 00:28:07,450 --> 00:28:09,409 Why don't I just process this return? 619 00:28:09,410 --> 00:28:11,012 Cool. 620 00:28:11,013 --> 00:28:13,789 But first... 621 00:28:13,790 --> 00:28:15,207 What's that? 622 00:28:15,208 --> 00:28:16,792 Black light. 623 00:28:16,793 --> 00:28:18,668 Need to check if they've been worn. 624 00:28:18,669 --> 00:28:20,629 Oh, uh, well, I mean, look at them. 625 00:28:20,630 --> 00:28:23,507 They've never been worn before. 626 00:28:23,508 --> 00:28:25,717 - You see? - Yes, to my naked eye. 627 00:28:25,718 --> 00:28:29,554 But my naked eye can't see invisible bodily fluids. 628 00:28:29,555 --> 00:28:31,926 You wouldn't imagine what lengths people go to 629 00:28:31,927 --> 00:28:33,306 trying to make it look like 630 00:28:33,307 --> 00:28:34,893 they've never worn a pair of shoes. 631 00:28:34,894 --> 00:28:37,605 Everyone trying to cheat the system. 632 00:28:39,524 --> 00:28:40,983 Including you. 633 00:28:42,490 --> 00:28:44,736 - Excuse me? - Check it out. 634 00:28:44,737 --> 00:28:47,072 Toddler urine. Blood. 635 00:28:47,073 --> 00:28:49,366 Surprise, surprise. 636 00:28:49,367 --> 00:28:52,410 - A little bit of vomit. - You can tell all that? 637 00:28:52,411 --> 00:28:54,372 Sorry, I can't accept these returns. 638 00:28:55,164 --> 00:28:58,208 No, but, sir, your thingy's wrong. 639 00:28:58,209 --> 00:28:59,876 I've never worn those shoes before. 640 00:28:59,877 --> 00:29:01,878 Don't make me look you up on Instagram. 641 00:29:01,879 --> 00:29:04,966 I'm sure you posted plenty of selfies in these shoes. 642 00:29:07,260 --> 00:29:09,386 Please, sir, 643 00:29:09,387 --> 00:29:11,805 I'm a single mother struggling to make ends meet. 644 00:29:11,806 --> 00:29:16,351 I just wanted something nice for once in my life. 645 00:29:16,352 --> 00:29:18,812 I promise you, I will never do this again, 646 00:29:18,813 --> 00:29:21,183 but these shoes are 800 bucks. 647 00:29:21,184 --> 00:29:22,853 I can't afford that. 648 00:29:24,582 --> 00:29:26,486 Suppose I could make an exception. 649 00:29:26,487 --> 00:29:27,779 - Thank you. - Under one condition. 650 00:29:27,780 --> 00:29:31,575 - Anything. - You blow me after my shift. 651 00:29:31,576 --> 00:29:34,698 Why does everything have to come down to sex? 652 00:29:34,699 --> 00:29:36,109 'Cause sex is awesome. 653 00:29:36,110 --> 00:29:39,165 No. You just wanna feel like you have power over me. 654 00:29:39,166 --> 00:29:41,293 That's awesome too. 655 00:29:41,294 --> 00:29:45,013 Can't I just, like, wash your car 656 00:29:45,014 --> 00:29:46,486 or something? 657 00:29:46,487 --> 00:29:48,758 Mm... 658 00:29:48,759 --> 00:29:51,845 not as satisfying. 659 00:29:51,846 --> 00:29:54,219 So it's all about degrading me, then. 660 00:29:54,220 --> 00:29:58,143 I... guess. 661 00:29:58,144 --> 00:30:01,396 Yes, it-it probably is. 662 00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:08,320 Okay. 663 00:30:08,321 --> 00:30:10,906 How 'bout... 664 00:30:10,907 --> 00:30:13,445 how 'bout I give you a blow job? 665 00:30:13,446 --> 00:30:14,921 You just said it was degrading. 666 00:30:14,922 --> 00:30:17,508 It is, when you ask for it. 667 00:30:17,509 --> 00:30:19,289 It's different if you do? 668 00:30:19,290 --> 00:30:22,083 Yeah. 'Cause then it's my choice. 669 00:30:22,084 --> 00:30:24,836 It's my decision. And I have the power. 670 00:30:24,837 --> 00:30:26,158 Okay. 671 00:30:27,623 --> 00:30:29,141 Then sure. 672 00:30:29,142 --> 00:30:30,685 I'd love a blow job. 673 00:30:30,686 --> 00:30:33,063 - Deal. - I get off in two hours. 674 00:30:36,057 --> 00:30:37,891 See you in two hours. 675 00:30:37,892 --> 00:30:39,508 Have a good day! 676 00:30:39,509 --> 00:30:41,228 Shh. 677 00:30:41,229 --> 00:30:45,899 Whoa! Oh, you sound like your Grandpa Frank. 678 00:30:45,900 --> 00:30:48,526 Yes, you do. 679 00:30:48,527 --> 00:30:50,921 Let's see what's going on in that diaper, huh? 680 00:30:50,922 --> 00:30:53,698 'Cause that's... a little smelly. 681 00:30:53,699 --> 00:30:56,604 Pee-yew! 682 00:30:56,605 --> 00:30:57,994 I got you. I got you. 683 00:30:57,995 --> 00:30:59,024 I got you. 684 00:30:59,025 --> 00:31:00,997 ? It's all right, it's all ? 685 00:31:00,998 --> 00:31:02,637 Whoa! 686 00:31:02,638 --> 00:31:06,920 How'd that much poop come outta you, huh? 687 00:31:06,921 --> 00:31:10,090 One sec, all right? One sec. 688 00:31:10,091 --> 00:31:12,592 Okay, here we go. 689 00:31:12,593 --> 00:31:14,803 Here we go. 690 00:31:14,804 --> 00:31:15,720 Ooh, that's black. 691 00:31:15,721 --> 00:31:18,306 Yeah, they said that'd be black. 692 00:31:18,307 --> 00:31:20,475 I'm really just smushing it around, aren't I? 693 00:31:20,476 --> 00:31:22,394 Uh... 694 00:31:22,395 --> 00:31:25,146 hey, I got an idea, all right? 695 00:31:32,738 --> 00:31:34,531 I got you. 696 00:31:34,532 --> 00:31:36,700 Ready? 697 00:31:36,701 --> 00:31:38,327 Here we go. 698 00:31:40,287 --> 00:31:43,165 That's good. Okay. 699 00:31:44,125 --> 00:31:45,251 Okay. 700 00:31:46,585 --> 00:31:47,919 Yeah? 701 00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:48,420 Hey. 702 00:31:48,421 --> 00:31:51,423 Good as new. 703 00:31:51,424 --> 00:31:53,842 All right? 704 00:31:53,843 --> 00:31:55,760 Let's get a new diaper on you 705 00:31:55,761 --> 00:31:57,762 and then we can have our nap, okay? 706 00:31:57,763 --> 00:32:00,765 I'm just gonna find a new diaper. 707 00:32:04,353 --> 00:32:06,538 Hospital only gave us one diaper. 708 00:32:06,539 --> 00:32:11,109 Buddy, what are we gonna do? 709 00:32:12,737 --> 00:32:15,488 I know. 710 00:32:17,825 --> 00:32:19,784 Here goes another one! 711 00:32:19,785 --> 00:32:21,578 Open it! Open it! 712 00:32:21,579 --> 00:32:24,622 Open it! Open it! 713 00:32:24,623 --> 00:32:26,958 I bet it's another one of those essential oil diffusers. 714 00:32:26,959 --> 00:32:29,795 It's crazy how many people ordered that piece of crap. 715 00:32:29,796 --> 00:32:33,431 Hey, I'm excited to use my piece of crap when I get home. 716 00:32:33,432 --> 00:32:35,383 Another Vitamix! 717 00:32:35,384 --> 00:32:37,169 Yes! 718 00:32:37,170 --> 00:32:39,095 - Let's take it, V. - We already have one, Kev. 719 00:32:39,096 --> 00:32:41,056 Oh, right. All right, who wants it? 720 00:32:41,057 --> 00:32:43,391 - Oh, me! - Me, me, me, me! 721 00:32:43,392 --> 00:32:45,135 Here you go, Kermit. 722 00:32:45,136 --> 00:32:46,403 You haven't had anything in a while. 723 00:32:46,404 --> 00:32:48,021 - Thank you, Kev. - You're welcome, buddy. 724 00:32:48,022 --> 00:32:49,314 All right, V. 725 00:32:49,315 --> 00:32:51,066 - Bring the next box out. - Yeah! 726 00:32:51,067 --> 00:32:54,736 - Come on, now! - Come on. 727 00:32:54,737 --> 00:32:55,904 - There's nothin' left. - What? 728 00:32:55,905 --> 00:32:59,749 Don't be greedy. 729 00:32:59,750 --> 00:33:01,530 You just got a bunch of free stuff. 730 00:33:01,994 --> 00:33:03,454 What about the returns? 731 00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:06,414 - The what? - Yeah. 732 00:33:06,415 --> 00:33:09,116 OBS guys have to drive around picking up packages. 733 00:33:10,211 --> 00:33:11,795 That's right. 734 00:33:11,796 --> 00:33:14,047 There must be tons of stuff out there! 735 00:33:14,048 --> 00:33:16,299 Yeah, well, we're not giving it away for free this time. 736 00:33:16,300 --> 00:33:17,842 - We're not? - No! We're gonna 737 00:33:17,843 --> 00:33:19,594 auction that off, make some money off these ingrates. 738 00:33:19,595 --> 00:33:21,631 Go get that scanner thing from the dead guy, Kev, 739 00:33:21,632 --> 00:33:23,306 - and pick up the packages. - Can I drive the van? 740 00:33:23,307 --> 00:33:24,682 Knock yourself out. 741 00:33:24,683 --> 00:33:26,684 I'm gonna take this bassinet over to Lip. 742 00:33:26,685 --> 00:33:28,895 How attached are you to that pool? 743 00:33:33,609 --> 00:33:36,194 How's it going? 744 00:33:36,195 --> 00:33:37,947 Good. Good. 745 00:33:39,448 --> 00:33:40,890 Well, shit. 746 00:33:40,891 --> 00:33:43,201 Ah, don't let the collar scare you. 747 00:33:43,202 --> 00:33:45,787 Just trying to make extra money for the CYO basketball team. 748 00:33:45,788 --> 00:33:47,956 Not here to take you to heaven... yet. 749 00:33:47,957 --> 00:33:50,416 Or worse, the downstairs place. 750 00:33:52,044 --> 00:33:54,045 - Abort mission! - What? 751 00:33:54,046 --> 00:33:55,213 It's a priest! 752 00:33:57,758 --> 00:33:58,633 Ooh! 753 00:33:58,634 --> 00:34:00,386 Heavens to Betsy. 754 00:34:03,722 --> 00:34:04,806 Are you okay? 755 00:34:04,807 --> 00:34:07,767 My leg. My leg is broken. 756 00:34:07,768 --> 00:34:09,394 Oh, my Go... Oh, uh, uh... 757 00:34:09,395 --> 00:34:10,895 a priest, a priest. 758 00:34:10,896 --> 00:34:12,897 That's what I was trying to tell you. 759 00:34:12,898 --> 00:34:14,733 Oh. 760 00:34:16,068 --> 00:34:17,902 Wait. What's going on here? 761 00:34:17,903 --> 00:34:19,404 Uh... we're good, Padre. 762 00:34:19,405 --> 00:34:21,072 Praise Jesus. 763 00:34:21,073 --> 00:34:22,907 I've been healed! 764 00:34:22,908 --> 00:34:24,576 Were you two trying to scam me? 765 00:34:24,577 --> 00:34:25,994 Nah, it's just a misunderstanding. 766 00:34:25,995 --> 00:34:27,472 We'll be on our way. 767 00:34:28,873 --> 00:34:31,250 If you're in need of money for a meal, I can help. 768 00:34:32,084 --> 00:34:33,918 - Come again? - The Lord, of course, 769 00:34:33,919 --> 00:34:36,318 wants you to promise you won't use it on drugs. 770 00:34:38,215 --> 00:34:40,967 That would be a sin. 771 00:34:40,968 --> 00:34:42,552 - Thank you, Padre. - Let's get outta here 772 00:34:42,553 --> 00:34:44,888 - before he changes his mind. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! 773 00:34:44,889 --> 00:34:46,431 Okay, okay. 774 00:34:46,432 --> 00:34:48,474 Booze or coke or a little of both, Frank? 775 00:34:48,475 --> 00:34:50,311 What do you say? What do you say? 776 00:34:52,593 --> 00:34:54,522 What happened? 777 00:34:54,523 --> 00:34:56,155 Why ain't you happy? 778 00:34:56,156 --> 00:34:57,984 We got ten dollars. 779 00:34:57,985 --> 00:35:01,237 Ten dollars is not gonna solve our problem. 780 00:35:01,238 --> 00:35:02,739 She's gonna kick us out. 781 00:35:02,740 --> 00:35:04,657 We gotta find a place to sleep. 782 00:35:04,658 --> 00:35:06,409 It pisses me off. 783 00:35:06,410 --> 00:35:08,286 I got an inheritance waiting for me, 784 00:35:08,287 --> 00:35:10,747 and Debbie's holding it hostage. 785 00:35:10,748 --> 00:35:11,915 Why'd you do that? 786 00:35:11,916 --> 00:35:13,917 You know what your problem is? 787 00:35:13,918 --> 00:35:16,169 You let women run your life: 788 00:35:16,170 --> 00:35:18,296 your daughters, your dead wife, 789 00:35:18,297 --> 00:35:19,881 your mother too, I bet. 790 00:35:19,882 --> 00:35:21,562 It's true. 791 00:35:21,563 --> 00:35:23,301 She made me pee sitting down. 792 00:35:23,302 --> 00:35:26,137 Said I splashed on her magazines. 793 00:35:26,138 --> 00:35:27,889 Those female types have pussy-whipped 794 00:35:27,890 --> 00:35:32,644 the masculinity from your soul. 795 00:35:32,645 --> 00:35:34,687 They have. 796 00:35:34,688 --> 00:35:37,106 You know, because of men like you, 797 00:35:37,107 --> 00:35:40,902 women like Debbie feel entitled and empowered. 798 00:35:40,903 --> 00:35:42,237 They do. 799 00:35:42,238 --> 00:35:44,697 You need to break the cycle, Frank! 800 00:35:44,698 --> 00:35:46,718 Press the reset button. 801 00:35:46,719 --> 00:35:49,370 You need to reclaim your patriarchy. 802 00:35:51,455 --> 00:35:53,089 Let's go back to the house, 803 00:35:53,090 --> 00:35:56,751 storm that castle, and take back what's yours. 804 00:35:56,752 --> 00:35:58,962 - Yes! - Yes! 805 00:36:02,323 --> 00:36:03,862 You're hurting me. 806 00:36:03,863 --> 00:36:05,385 - Whoa, whoa. - Come on! 807 00:36:05,590 --> 00:36:08,566 _ 808 00:36:24,697 --> 00:36:27,699 All right. 809 00:36:27,700 --> 00:36:29,784 All right. 810 00:36:29,785 --> 00:36:31,661 Shh, shh, shh, shh. 811 00:36:31,662 --> 00:36:33,615 It's all right, buddy, okay? 812 00:36:33,616 --> 00:36:36,082 It's all right. 813 00:36:36,083 --> 00:36:38,543 It's all right. You can stop crying, all right? 814 00:36:38,544 --> 00:36:40,687 Here we go. 815 00:36:40,688 --> 00:36:43,715 Here we go. Here we go. 816 00:36:43,716 --> 00:36:46,009 Hey, there you go, okay? 817 00:36:46,010 --> 00:36:49,278 I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick, okay, okay? 818 00:36:49,279 --> 00:36:50,638 Then I'm gonna come right back. 819 00:36:50,639 --> 00:36:52,098 We'll take a nap together, all right? 820 00:36:52,099 --> 00:36:54,392 All right, shh, shh. 821 00:36:54,393 --> 00:36:55,768 Stay right there, okay? 822 00:36:55,769 --> 00:36:57,270 Stay right there. Stay right there. 823 00:36:57,271 --> 00:36:58,772 Okay. 824 00:37:01,900 --> 00:37:04,402 All right, I'm going to the bathroom now, okay? 825 00:37:11,660 --> 00:37:14,370 I don't know how people go to the bathroom with babies. 826 00:37:17,249 --> 00:37:20,543 I don't know how people do much of anything with babies. 827 00:37:23,088 --> 00:37:26,424 I don't think I'm gonna be able to... 828 00:37:27,635 --> 00:37:30,928 ...take a shower till your mom gets outta the hospital, 829 00:37:30,929 --> 00:37:33,557 you know? 830 00:37:39,563 --> 00:37:40,855 Shit. 831 00:37:44,943 --> 00:37:48,613 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 832 00:37:48,614 --> 00:37:50,657 Where'd you go? 833 00:37:50,658 --> 00:37:51,366 Where'd you... go? 834 00:37:51,367 --> 00:37:52,909 How... does this even happen? 835 00:37:52,910 --> 00:37:55,620 You were right... here. 836 00:37:55,621 --> 00:37:57,955 You were right here. 837 00:37:57,956 --> 00:37:59,499 Are you serious? I lost my baby? 838 00:37:59,500 --> 00:38:01,292 Fuck. Freddie? 839 00:38:01,293 --> 00:38:03,836 Maybe he ran away because you named him Freddie. 840 00:38:03,837 --> 00:38:06,172 Hey. 841 00:38:06,173 --> 00:38:08,132 Hey. 842 00:38:08,133 --> 00:38:11,135 And he has on a sanitary pad with wings? 843 00:38:11,136 --> 00:38:12,136 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I ran outta diapers. 844 00:38:12,137 --> 00:38:15,139 You can't leave a baby alone like that. 845 00:38:15,140 --> 00:38:17,433 - I fell asleep. - You can't fall asleep. 846 00:38:17,434 --> 00:38:18,810 Hey, it was two seconds. 847 00:38:18,811 --> 00:38:20,520 Something could have fell on him. 848 00:38:20,521 --> 00:38:21,979 Someone could have stepped on him. 849 00:38:21,980 --> 00:38:23,633 Yeah, well, there's no one else here, so... 850 00:38:26,270 --> 00:38:27,764 When's Tami gettin' out? 851 00:38:29,279 --> 00:38:32,615 She's still in ICU. I-I don't know. 852 00:38:36,133 --> 00:38:38,372 I brought you a baby gift. 853 00:38:38,373 --> 00:38:41,691 It's a bassinet, but you need to assemble it. 854 00:38:45,629 --> 00:38:48,960 V... I'm tired, you know? 855 00:38:48,961 --> 00:38:51,384 Welcome to parenthood. 856 00:38:51,385 --> 00:38:52,677 You're only supposed to wear 857 00:38:52,678 --> 00:38:55,179 one of those nicotine patches at a time. 858 00:39:00,769 --> 00:39:02,687 So... here we are. 859 00:39:02,688 --> 00:39:04,856 Yup. 860 00:39:04,857 --> 00:39:07,215 Do you do this with a lot of women at the store? 861 00:39:07,216 --> 00:39:09,235 I get a fair amount of play. 862 00:39:09,236 --> 00:39:11,362 Really? 863 00:39:11,363 --> 00:39:13,835 Why do you say it like that? 864 00:39:13,836 --> 00:39:15,627 Shoe salesman? 865 00:39:15,628 --> 00:39:17,118 I'm actually a violinist. 866 00:39:17,119 --> 00:39:19,746 Oh! Yeah? 867 00:39:19,747 --> 00:39:21,192 Classically trained. 868 00:39:21,193 --> 00:39:22,782 Studied at Berkeley School of Music. 869 00:39:22,783 --> 00:39:24,000 Oh... that's cool. 870 00:39:24,001 --> 00:39:26,878 I bet you're pretty good. 871 00:39:26,879 --> 00:39:29,005 Bring my violin to work with me every day, 872 00:39:29,006 --> 00:39:32,175 thinking I'll... play it at lunch. 873 00:39:32,176 --> 00:39:34,093 Instead I go to Wetzel's Pretzel. 874 00:39:34,094 --> 00:39:36,179 I'm sure lots of famous musicians 875 00:39:36,180 --> 00:39:37,389 hang out at the food court. 876 00:39:38,891 --> 00:39:40,391 You ready? 877 00:39:40,392 --> 00:39:41,976 Wait. 878 00:39:41,977 --> 00:39:44,562 You think I like looking at feet all day? 879 00:39:44,563 --> 00:39:47,106 Isn't that your job? 880 00:39:47,107 --> 00:39:50,318 I hate it. I hate myself. 881 00:39:50,319 --> 00:39:53,237 That's why I try to get women to blow me. 882 00:39:53,238 --> 00:39:55,114 Does it make you feel any better about yourself? 883 00:39:55,115 --> 00:39:56,115 For a few minutes. 884 00:39:57,284 --> 00:40:00,536 Until the self-loathing comes back. 885 00:40:00,537 --> 00:40:04,221 - Shall we do this? - No, don't. 886 00:40:04,930 --> 00:40:06,626 I don't want... 887 00:40:06,627 --> 00:40:09,128 blow jobs from random women anymore. 888 00:40:09,129 --> 00:40:10,422 No? 889 00:40:12,132 --> 00:40:15,194 I'm gonna give my notice. 890 00:40:15,195 --> 00:40:16,761 - What about my shoes? - Keep 'em. 891 00:40:16,762 --> 00:40:18,012 - Seriously? - Yeah. 892 00:40:19,515 --> 00:40:21,543 I'm going back to the violin. 893 00:40:26,207 --> 00:40:28,940 Hey. What's goin' on? 894 00:40:28,941 --> 00:40:32,318 Why am I different from everyone in my family? 895 00:40:32,319 --> 00:40:35,655 It's like, if I was adopted, I would understand. 896 00:40:35,656 --> 00:40:37,114 But it's like I spun the roulette wheel 897 00:40:37,115 --> 00:40:38,491 and landed on black. 898 00:40:38,492 --> 00:40:42,370 Because once upon a time, a slave owner raped a slave. 899 00:40:42,371 --> 00:40:44,455 But now I'm being raised by a bunch of crackers, 900 00:40:44,456 --> 00:40:46,389 and they won't even give me the talk. 901 00:40:46,390 --> 00:40:48,292 You don't know about the birds and the bees yet? 902 00:40:48,293 --> 00:40:50,487 Yeah. I've known since I was six. 903 00:40:50,488 --> 00:40:53,673 The talk of how to survive as a black man in America. 904 00:40:56,802 --> 00:40:58,469 Yo, yo, yo. 905 00:40:58,470 --> 00:41:00,363 That's a lotta returns. 906 00:41:00,364 --> 00:41:02,096 Yeah, this scanner machine thingy 907 00:41:02,097 --> 00:41:03,641 is fun as shit. 908 00:41:11,483 --> 00:41:13,526 Can I help you? 909 00:41:26,582 --> 00:41:29,000 - Bye, Lori. - See ya tomorrow. 910 00:41:29,001 --> 00:41:32,211 Unless I see you tonight when you sneak into my apartment, 911 00:41:32,212 --> 00:41:34,187 'cause you know I leave my key under my mat. 912 00:41:34,188 --> 00:41:35,756 Isn't that sexual harassment? 913 00:41:35,757 --> 00:41:37,508 It doesn't count when you're a dude. 914 00:41:37,509 --> 00:41:38,509 Oh. 915 00:41:43,098 --> 00:41:44,449 So what's your deal? 916 00:41:45,726 --> 00:41:47,143 Meaning? 917 00:41:47,144 --> 00:41:49,478 - Well, you look like a chola. - Excuse me? 918 00:41:49,479 --> 00:41:51,355 And there's been a whole lot of little Mexican kids 919 00:41:51,356 --> 00:41:52,857 coming in here to get takeout food today. 920 00:41:52,858 --> 00:41:54,448 You're making this a race thing. 921 00:41:54,449 --> 00:41:55,735 No. I'm just wondering if you're running 922 00:41:55,736 --> 00:41:58,237 some type of game up in here. 923 00:41:58,238 --> 00:42:00,031 The only game I'm running 924 00:42:00,032 --> 00:42:02,033 is expanding the Captain Bob shrimp business 925 00:42:02,034 --> 00:42:03,816 to the Hispanic community. 926 00:42:12,878 --> 00:42:14,503 Tartar sauce. 927 00:42:18,258 --> 00:42:20,885 Vape? Damn, girl. 928 00:42:23,285 --> 00:42:25,608 I am man! 929 00:42:25,609 --> 00:42:26,986 Hear me roar! 930 00:42:26,987 --> 00:42:28,030 Rahh! 931 00:42:29,102 --> 00:42:30,019 Oh, shit. 932 00:42:32,230 --> 00:42:34,231 They're takin' my couch! 933 00:42:34,232 --> 00:42:36,734 Hey, leave that right there! 934 00:42:36,735 --> 00:42:37,860 That's my couch! 935 00:42:37,861 --> 00:42:40,738 Perfect. Couch is perfect right there. 936 00:42:40,739 --> 00:42:43,074 We do not need this couch. 937 00:42:43,075 --> 00:42:44,492 Now, take it back right now. 938 00:42:44,493 --> 00:42:47,411 Sorry, man. We just deliver shit. 939 00:42:47,412 --> 00:42:49,455 Ah, so comfy. 940 00:42:49,456 --> 00:42:51,499 And look, no fecal stains. 941 00:42:51,500 --> 00:42:53,250 That's my money you're sittin' on. 942 00:42:53,251 --> 00:42:55,878 We needed a new couch, Frank. So I took care of it. 943 00:42:55,879 --> 00:42:58,006 How 'bout you thank me instead of bitching at me? 944 00:42:58,757 --> 00:43:01,092 - $600? - Wait, what? 945 00:43:01,093 --> 00:43:02,593 - What? - Nice things cost. 946 00:43:02,594 --> 00:43:03,928 Yeah, but it's our money too. 947 00:43:03,929 --> 00:43:06,138 Yeah, we should have a say in what we buy. 948 00:43:06,139 --> 00:43:07,264 Yeah, I mean, it'd be nice 949 00:43:07,265 --> 00:43:08,679 to have some cash to buy diapers 950 00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:10,351 instead of using your sanitary pads. 951 00:43:10,352 --> 00:43:14,063 I, for one, am tired of being repressed and controlled 952 00:43:14,064 --> 00:43:16,190 by the women in this family. 953 00:43:16,191 --> 00:43:17,650 Are you with me, gentlemen? 954 00:43:17,651 --> 00:43:19,151 It might just be the sleep deprivation, 955 00:43:19,152 --> 00:43:21,237 but I kind of agree with Frank. 956 00:43:21,238 --> 00:43:22,863 You know, me too. Debbie and Fiona 957 00:43:22,864 --> 00:43:24,442 have been bitching at us our whole lives. 958 00:43:24,443 --> 00:43:26,075 Look what you've done. 959 00:43:26,076 --> 00:43:27,645 Are you proud of yourself? 960 00:43:27,646 --> 00:43:29,370 No one wants you to be in charge. 961 00:43:29,371 --> 00:43:31,455 We didn't elect you. 962 00:43:31,456 --> 00:43:34,458 We're on best behavior for this little infant boy 963 00:43:34,459 --> 00:43:37,472 who still stands a chance of feeling like a man someday. 964 00:43:37,473 --> 00:43:39,926 Oh, fuck you guys. I don't need this shit. 965 00:43:39,927 --> 00:43:42,842 Fiona left me the money. You don't like it, leave. 966 00:43:42,843 --> 00:43:46,637 Just like a bully to say something like that. 967 00:43:48,932 --> 00:43:50,224 Who wants a beer and chicken? 968 00:43:51,601 --> 00:43:54,271 Ah, dude, your kid smells like an ashtray. 969 00:44:24,551 --> 00:44:27,678 - Dude, I'm stabbing him. - Not if I get there first. 970 00:44:27,679 --> 00:44:29,305 I have the shiv. 971 00:44:29,306 --> 00:44:31,474 Enzo slipped me his through the vent, bitch. 972 00:44:36,438 --> 00:44:38,105 Oh! Shit! 973 00:44:38,106 --> 00:44:40,024 Christ on a cross! 974 00:44:40,025 --> 00:44:41,525 Ohh! 975 00:44:41,526 --> 00:44:43,944 The arm? Weak. 976 00:44:43,945 --> 00:44:45,362 - Oh! - Chester, it's Ian. 977 00:44:45,363 --> 00:44:46,072 You get to stay. I stabbed you. 978 00:44:46,073 --> 00:44:48,282 No, no, no. 979 00:44:48,283 --> 00:44:49,742 Jesus Christ! 980 00:44:49,743 --> 00:44:51,452 Mick, you're gonna fucking kill him! 981 00:44:51,453 --> 00:44:53,204 What are you two morons doing? 982 00:44:53,205 --> 00:44:55,474 Hey, I stabbed Chester. Send me to solitary, okay? 983 00:44:55,475 --> 00:44:57,208 No, no, no. He's taking the fall for me. 984 00:44:57,209 --> 00:44:58,793 Thank you. I-I stabbed this piece of shit. 985 00:44:58,794 --> 00:45:00,402 - No, I fuckin' stabbed in. - Jesus, Chester. 986 00:45:00,403 --> 00:45:02,463 You got two of them to do it this time? 987 00:45:02,464 --> 00:45:03,714 This time? 988 00:45:03,715 --> 00:45:05,674 He does this every couple months. 989 00:45:05,675 --> 00:45:07,486 Makes a deal with an inmate to stab him 990 00:45:07,487 --> 00:45:09,387 so he can postpone his release. 991 00:45:11,723 --> 00:45:13,724 You two idiots are comin' with me. Go. 992 00:45:13,725 --> 00:45:14,725 - Y... - Hey, I'm bleedin' out 993 00:45:14,726 --> 00:45:17,394 - over here. - Calm down, Chester. 994 00:45:17,395 --> 00:45:19,271 I'll call the medic. 995 00:45:44,589 --> 00:45:48,968 What are you up to... Deb-or-ah? 996 00:45:57,435 --> 00:46:00,896 Your mommy's gonna love you so much, you know? 997 00:46:00,897 --> 00:46:03,774 She is. Maybe not as much as me, but... 998 00:46:03,775 --> 00:46:06,152 it's gonna be pretty close. 999 00:46:06,153 --> 00:46:09,905 She's gonna gobble up those teeny-tiny hands. 1000 00:46:09,906 --> 00:46:11,797 Yeah. 1001 00:46:11,798 --> 00:46:15,578 And those teeny-tiny ears too. Huh? I'm sorry. 1002 00:46:15,579 --> 00:46:18,331 And then you know what she's gonna do? 1003 00:46:20,292 --> 00:46:23,043 One, two, three, 1004 00:46:23,044 --> 00:46:24,837 four, five. 1005 00:46:24,838 --> 00:46:27,590 Oh, shit, dude. 1006 00:46:31,803 --> 00:46:32,595 Okay, here we go. Here we go. 1007 00:46:32,596 --> 00:46:34,513 I got you, bud. I got you. 1008 00:46:34,514 --> 00:46:37,684 I got you. I got you. 1009 00:46:41,563 --> 00:46:44,257 Everything okay in there? 1010 00:46:44,983 --> 00:46:47,189 I almost dropped him. 1011 00:46:47,190 --> 00:46:48,944 Ah. 1012 00:46:48,945 --> 00:46:50,404 Don't worry if you do. 1013 00:46:50,405 --> 00:46:52,764 They're made of Jell-O the first few months. 1014 00:46:54,618 --> 00:46:58,830 He'll be fine. You won't hurt him. 1015 00:47:02,242 --> 00:47:03,869 Get some sleep, son. 1016 00:47:06,004 --> 00:47:07,510 You look tired. 1017 00:47:29,527 --> 00:47:32,446 Well, well. 1018 00:47:32,447 --> 00:47:35,199 What do we have here? 1019 00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:36,867 Mikey? 1020 00:47:36,868 --> 00:47:39,119 I'm not Mikey. 1021 00:47:39,120 --> 00:47:41,288 Jesus, did you follow me here? 1022 00:47:41,289 --> 00:47:43,290 I'm a dangerous man 1023 00:47:43,291 --> 00:47:45,292 with a scary knife. 1024 00:47:45,293 --> 00:47:48,462 And... and... 1025 00:47:48,463 --> 00:47:50,923 I can't breathe in this thing. 1026 00:47:50,924 --> 00:47:52,925 A little help here, please. 1027 00:47:52,926 --> 00:47:55,929 - Ooh! - What the hell do you want? 1028 00:47:58,515 --> 00:47:59,766 Huh. 1029 00:48:11,581 --> 00:48:13,625 You steal all this stuff? 1030 00:48:14,619 --> 00:48:16,329 None of your business. 1031 00:48:17,242 --> 00:48:18,660 "Purchase date." 1032 00:48:21,204 --> 00:48:22,832 "Return by date." 1033 00:48:24,124 --> 00:48:26,248 So you're buying this shit, 1034 00:48:26,249 --> 00:48:28,002 using it, 1035 00:48:28,003 --> 00:48:29,952 and returning it, aren't you? 1036 00:48:31,483 --> 00:48:33,257 Get out of my she-shed. 1037 00:48:33,258 --> 00:48:35,259 Oh, I will. 1038 00:48:35,260 --> 00:48:39,052 I will, as soon as you answer this one question for me. 1039 00:48:41,057 --> 00:48:42,516 Who's your daddy? 1040 00:48:43,607 --> 00:48:45,651 Why are men so pervy? 1041 00:48:45,652 --> 00:48:47,105 I am not blowing you! 1042 00:48:48,855 --> 00:48:50,941 Who said anything about blowing me? 1043 00:48:50,942 --> 00:48:52,943 You just asked, "Who's your daddy?" 1044 00:48:52,944 --> 00:48:55,779 I meant that in a real way, not a sexual way. 1045 00:48:55,780 --> 00:48:59,254 Frank is my best friend! You're practically my daughter. 1046 00:48:59,255 --> 00:49:01,577 Uh, yeah, no, I'm not. 1047 00:49:02,643 --> 00:49:04,895 Who's your daddy? 1048 00:49:04,896 --> 00:49:08,137 As in, you need to respect him. 1049 00:49:09,183 --> 00:49:10,184 Hell no. 1050 00:49:12,435 --> 00:49:13,929 Well, then... 1051 00:49:13,930 --> 00:49:16,467 you leave me no choice. 1052 00:49:16,468 --> 00:49:17,926 No! 1053 00:49:17,927 --> 00:49:19,956 Don't. 1054 00:49:19,957 --> 00:49:23,974 You get these back when Frank is head of the household 1055 00:49:23,975 --> 00:49:25,919 and in charge of the family money. 1056 00:49:25,920 --> 00:49:28,147 You don't think I can deck you right now? 1057 00:49:28,148 --> 00:49:30,647 You don't think I could eat these receipts right now? 1058 00:49:30,648 --> 00:49:32,191 Don't eat that! 1059 00:49:32,192 --> 00:49:34,318 You know what you have to do. 1060 00:49:37,322 --> 00:49:38,974 You got 24 hours. 1061 00:49:40,005 --> 00:49:41,575 Make things right. 1062 00:49:47,999 --> 00:49:49,666 Fuck! 1063 00:50:18,613 --> 00:50:19,530 Quit tomorrow, okay? 1064 00:50:58,027 --> 00:51:00,418 Sleep well, my prince, 1065 00:51:00,419 --> 00:51:02,322 for tomorrow... 1066 00:51:02,323 --> 00:51:03,992 you shall be king. 1067 00:51:05,368 --> 00:51:06,410 Yeah. 1068 00:51:15,462 --> 00:51:18,046 Wake up! 1069 00:51:18,047 --> 00:51:20,466 Get up, Gallaghers. 1070 00:51:20,467 --> 00:51:21,827 I just got Freddie back down. 1071 00:51:21,828 --> 00:51:23,343 You wake him, so help me, God. 1072 00:51:23,344 --> 00:51:25,012 Yeah, I know you're gonna throw out my breakfast 1073 00:51:25,013 --> 00:51:27,389 - if I'm not down in time. - What is it this time, Debs? 1074 00:51:27,390 --> 00:51:28,874 Cover your tits, everyone. 1075 00:51:28,875 --> 00:51:30,476 - She may have a knife. - Shh! 1076 00:51:30,477 --> 00:51:32,856 No knives. What I do have, however, 1077 00:51:32,857 --> 00:51:35,481 are ATM cards, one for the each of you. 1078 00:51:35,482 --> 00:51:36,967 What? 1079 00:51:36,968 --> 00:51:39,443 Hundred bucks on each, to be replaced weekly. 1080 00:51:39,444 --> 00:51:40,777 - Sweet. - 'Bout time. 1081 00:51:40,778 --> 00:51:41,859 Well, I really should get more on mine. 1082 00:51:41,860 --> 00:51:43,947 I realized that I've been holding power over all of you 1083 00:51:43,948 --> 00:51:46,366 because I feel shitty about myself. 1084 00:51:46,367 --> 00:51:48,076 Uh, you only pull wings off a fly 1085 00:51:48,077 --> 00:51:50,120 because you're dead inside, right? 1086 00:51:53,249 --> 00:51:55,709 So... one for you... 1087 00:51:55,710 --> 00:51:57,419 and you... 1088 00:51:57,420 --> 00:51:58,795 you. 1089 00:51:58,796 --> 00:52:00,422 Frank, 1090 00:52:00,423 --> 00:52:02,468 if you wanna take over as head of the household, 1091 00:52:02,469 --> 00:52:03,553 please do. 1092 00:52:03,554 --> 00:52:04,756 It's a shit job. 1093 00:52:10,844 --> 00:52:12,976 My receipts. 1094 00:52:27,954 --> 00:52:29,326 I can't believe that's what you wanted to buy 1095 00:52:29,327 --> 00:52:30,452 with your money. 1096 00:52:30,453 --> 00:52:31,954 Gotta start a business, son. 1097 00:52:31,955 --> 00:52:33,830 Can't get ahead on a fry cook's salary. 1098 00:52:33,831 --> 00:52:35,802 Plus, it's better than that shitty ancestry kit 1099 00:52:35,803 --> 00:52:36,936 you wanted to buy. 1100 00:52:36,937 --> 00:52:38,962 - Just wanna know who I am. - You're a Gallagher. 1101 00:52:38,963 --> 00:52:41,421 - Same as me. - I'm black. 1102 00:52:41,422 --> 00:52:42,673 Yeah, and you get to check the black card 1103 00:52:42,674 --> 00:52:43,882 for the rest of your life. 1104 00:52:43,883 --> 00:52:45,276 Move to the front of the line. You got it made. 1105 00:52:45,277 --> 00:52:47,469 Except I can't walk down the street wearing a hoodie 1106 00:52:47,470 --> 00:52:50,639 without worrying that a cop's gonna put me in a chokehold. 1107 00:52:50,640 --> 00:52:52,516 You can just pick up your order over there. 1108 00:52:54,477 --> 00:52:56,743 Hey, Anne, I got a proposition for you. 1109 00:52:56,744 --> 00:52:58,355 I know you're selling vape pens 1110 00:52:58,356 --> 00:52:59,909 to little Mexican kids. 1111 00:52:59,910 --> 00:53:02,359 - That is not what I'm d... - Don't argue. 1112 00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:03,944 I already looked in your tartar sauce box. 1113 00:53:03,945 --> 00:53:05,445 - Is than a euphemism? - No. 1114 00:53:05,446 --> 00:53:07,573 And I wanna go into business with you. 1115 00:53:07,574 --> 00:53:09,599 Why would I do that? 1116 00:53:09,600 --> 00:53:12,306 Well, because you only have the Hispanic market, 1117 00:53:12,307 --> 00:53:13,787 and if you wanna expand your business, 1118 00:53:13,788 --> 00:53:15,664 you gotta tap into the underage white kids that I know 1119 00:53:15,665 --> 00:53:18,000 - and black kids... - That I know. 1120 00:53:18,001 --> 00:53:21,211 So you and I are partners now. We'll split profits 50-50. 1121 00:53:21,212 --> 00:53:22,379 Liam and I will go to the playground, 1122 00:53:22,380 --> 00:53:23,907 round up new buyers. 1123 00:53:23,908 --> 00:53:25,842 And here's your supplies. 1124 00:53:31,931 --> 00:53:33,319 Menthol? 1125 00:53:33,320 --> 00:53:35,287 Trust me, my customers will love it. 1126 00:53:46,794 --> 00:53:48,071 - I stabbed him first. - No, you did not. 1127 00:53:48,072 --> 00:53:49,489 - Oh, shut up. - You shut up. 1128 00:53:49,490 --> 00:53:50,616 Don't fuckin' tell me what to do. 1129 00:53:50,617 --> 00:53:51,908 If you shut your fuckin' pie hole, 1130 00:53:51,909 --> 00:53:52,917 I wouldn't have to tell you what to do. 1131 00:53:52,918 --> 00:53:54,264 Yeah, please, that'll be the day, 1132 00:53:54,265 --> 00:53:55,954 when Ian Gallagher doesn't nag the shit outta my ass 1133 00:53:55,955 --> 00:53:57,539 and tell me what to do about somethin'! 1134 00:53:57,540 --> 00:53:58,957 You know, if you just wiped the toilet seat 1135 00:53:58,958 --> 00:54:00,500 for once in your life, I wouldn't fuckin' nag you. 1136 00:54:00,501 --> 00:54:01,752 If you just, like, picked up your nail clippings... 1137 00:54:01,753 --> 00:54:03,629 Who gives a shit about any of that? We're in fuckin' prison! 1138 00:54:03,630 --> 00:54:05,380 - I do, you fuckin' pig. - That's the problem. 1139 00:54:05,381 --> 00:54:07,159 You sound like a couple of old broads. 1140 00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:09,234 I'ma murder you two if you don't stop talkin'. 1141 00:54:20,078 --> 00:54:21,522 Hi, Frank. 1142 00:54:22,440 --> 00:54:24,484 Give us a hand here, would you, kid? 1143 00:54:26,944 --> 00:54:29,196 Hey, Frank, do you know who banged a black person 1144 00:54:29,197 --> 00:54:30,906 in our family lineage? 1145 00:54:30,907 --> 00:54:34,159 Yeah, someone from your mother's grandfather's 1146 00:54:34,160 --> 00:54:36,953 side of the family had a mistress. 1147 00:54:36,954 --> 00:54:39,146 - And she was black? - She is black. 1148 00:54:39,147 --> 00:54:40,457 She's still alive? 1149 00:54:40,458 --> 00:54:42,167 Lives down the street. 1150 00:54:42,168 --> 00:54:43,503 What? 1151 00:54:51,355 --> 00:54:53,553 Why didn't you tell me? 1152 00:54:55,016 --> 00:54:56,223 Get away from the house, Frank. 1153 00:54:56,224 --> 00:54:57,558 You know the rules. 1154 00:55:00,853 --> 00:55:02,312 That's why, son. 1155 00:55:16,369 --> 00:55:19,372 Oh, shit. Not again. 1156 00:55:29,525 --> 00:55:34,196 Sync and corrections by btsix www.addic7ed.com