1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:02,207 - Previously on Young Sheldon... - Excuse me. 2 00:00:02,210 --> 00:00:04,187 - You Coach Ballard? - That'd be me. 3 00:00:04,190 --> 00:00:05,822 My daughter's here to try out. 4 00:00:05,825 --> 00:00:08,225 Come on, I'm not gonna put a girl on my team. 5 00:00:08,227 --> 00:00:09,426 Why not? 6 00:00:09,428 --> 00:00:11,328 She's got pigtails. 7 00:00:11,330 --> 00:00:13,129 You're not even gonna give her a chance? 8 00:00:13,132 --> 00:00:14,732 No. 9 00:00:14,734 --> 00:00:17,234 Hey. Hello. Can I talk to you? 10 00:00:17,236 --> 00:00:18,281 Yeah. 11 00:00:18,284 --> 00:00:20,471 You tell my granddaughter she can't play baseball? 12 00:00:20,473 --> 00:00:22,373 Well, I was just looking out for her, that's all. 13 00:00:22,375 --> 00:00:24,742 Well, we don't need you deciding what's best for her. 14 00:00:24,744 --> 00:00:25,733 Or what? 15 00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:27,773 Or you and me are gonna have problems. 16 00:00:29,148 --> 00:00:30,929 - We're back! - How'd it go? 17 00:00:30,932 --> 00:00:32,416 She made the team. 18 00:00:32,418 --> 00:00:34,254 Congratulations! 19 00:00:34,257 --> 00:00:36,387 And Meemaw got a date with the coach. 20 00:00:36,389 --> 00:00:39,617 - What? - It was a productive afternoon. 21 00:00:43,562 --> 00:00:45,262 You sure you don't want me to stay? 22 00:00:45,264 --> 00:00:47,464 You promised you'd take me to RadioShack. 23 00:00:47,466 --> 00:00:49,566 Sheldon, this is a big day for your sister. 24 00:00:49,568 --> 00:00:51,101 I'm fine, Dad. 25 00:00:51,103 --> 00:00:52,236 Come on. 26 00:00:52,238 --> 00:00:54,805 I really don't want to go to RadioShack. 27 00:00:54,807 --> 00:00:57,307 Ah. George. 28 00:00:57,309 --> 00:00:59,325 - Dale. - Hey, Missy. 29 00:00:59,328 --> 00:01:01,745 Why don't you get out there and start warming up? 30 00:01:01,747 --> 00:01:03,547 Okay. 31 00:01:03,549 --> 00:01:05,382 And you must be Sheldon. 32 00:01:05,384 --> 00:01:07,551 Your grandmother told me all about you. 33 00:01:07,553 --> 00:01:09,553 We're going to RadioShack. 34 00:01:09,555 --> 00:01:11,723 Yeah, she didn't lie. 35 00:01:12,824 --> 00:01:14,296 George, I figure we kind of got off 36 00:01:14,299 --> 00:01:15,826 on the wrong foot the other day. 37 00:01:15,828 --> 00:01:18,293 - Don't worry about it. - Well, I do worry about it. 38 00:01:18,296 --> 00:01:20,230 I-I'd like to take you out for a beer, 39 00:01:20,232 --> 00:01:21,565 if that would be okay. 40 00:01:21,567 --> 00:01:24,343 It appears Meemaw told him about you, too. 41 00:01:26,005 --> 00:01:28,439 Sounds great. 42 00:01:28,441 --> 00:01:30,608 - Have a good practice. - Thank you. 43 00:01:32,445 --> 00:01:34,211 It's nice that you're going to socialize 44 00:01:34,213 --> 00:01:36,447 - with Meemaw's new boyfriend. - I know. 45 00:01:36,449 --> 00:01:39,616 She's gonna hate it. 46 00:01:50,882 --> 00:01:57,066 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 47 00:01:59,071 --> 00:02:01,205 Hey, Clark. Today's the day. 48 00:02:01,207 --> 00:02:02,306 It's in the back. 49 00:02:02,309 --> 00:02:03,411 I'll go get it. 50 00:02:03,414 --> 00:02:04,903 What's he getting? 51 00:02:04,906 --> 00:02:07,641 A direct-connect 300 baud modem. 52 00:02:07,644 --> 00:02:09,043 How much? 53 00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:10,879 Don't worry, I'm using my allowance. 54 00:02:10,882 --> 00:02:12,683 Plus, Clark gave me a healthy discount 55 00:02:12,685 --> 00:02:15,153 for helping with his application to medical school. 56 00:02:15,156 --> 00:02:16,887 Okay. 57 00:02:16,889 --> 00:02:18,176 What's a modem do? 58 00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:19,812 It allows me to connect my computer 59 00:02:19,815 --> 00:02:21,848 to other computers that also have one. 60 00:02:21,851 --> 00:02:23,427 Why would you need to do that? 61 00:02:23,429 --> 00:02:25,262 So I can share my scientific ideas 62 00:02:25,264 --> 00:02:27,325 with academics all over the world. 63 00:02:27,328 --> 00:02:30,969 It's like the cybernetic version of the Algonquin Round Table. 64 00:02:32,004 --> 00:02:33,303 I don't know what that means. 65 00:02:33,305 --> 00:02:34,705 That's okay, you're still my dad 66 00:02:34,707 --> 00:02:37,274 and I'm genetically obligated to love you. 67 00:02:40,513 --> 00:02:42,309 Missy, how was practice? 68 00:02:42,312 --> 00:02:43,480 So good. 69 00:02:43,482 --> 00:02:44,882 Tell us everything. 70 00:02:44,884 --> 00:02:47,651 The boys were a little mean at first, but I handled it. 71 00:02:47,653 --> 00:02:49,386 Can I warm up with you? 72 00:02:49,388 --> 00:02:51,388 I don't play baseball with girls. 73 00:02:51,390 --> 00:02:54,024 Really? Your friend's playing with one. 74 00:02:54,026 --> 00:02:56,226 Ooh! 75 00:02:56,228 --> 00:02:58,531 I am so proud of you. 76 00:02:58,534 --> 00:03:00,497 Well, I'm glad you all had a good day. 77 00:03:00,499 --> 00:03:02,218 Not just them. Guess who 78 00:03:02,221 --> 00:03:03,534 I'm grabbing a beer with. 79 00:03:03,536 --> 00:03:05,836 Your new friend, Dale. 80 00:03:05,838 --> 00:03:07,637 Are you kidding me? 81 00:03:07,640 --> 00:03:10,908 You were right, she's not happy. 82 00:03:10,910 --> 00:03:14,311 We're gonna do a little combination here. 83 00:03:14,313 --> 00:03:18,637 Here we go. Ready and out, in, up, down... 84 00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:21,075 Out, in, up, down. 85 00:03:21,078 --> 00:03:21,989 Hello. 86 00:03:21,992 --> 00:03:23,114 Hi, Georgie. 87 00:03:23,117 --> 00:03:25,136 It's Lisa, from English class. 88 00:03:25,139 --> 00:03:26,505 Oh, hey. What's up? 89 00:03:26,508 --> 00:03:29,242 I was wondering if you could help me with our homework. 90 00:03:29,245 --> 00:03:30,754 Crap, we have homework? 91 00:03:31,926 --> 00:03:33,292 You're so funny. 92 00:03:33,295 --> 00:03:34,561 I think so. 93 00:03:34,564 --> 00:03:35,762 Most people don't. 94 00:03:36,867 --> 00:03:38,535 What's that noise? 95 00:03:38,537 --> 00:03:40,170 No idea. 96 00:03:40,172 --> 00:03:42,639 Georgie, I need you to get off the phone. 97 00:03:42,641 --> 00:03:43,907 Hang on, Lisa. 98 00:03:43,909 --> 00:03:46,243 I'm helping someone with their English homework. 99 00:03:46,245 --> 00:03:47,511 I don't have time for jokes. 100 00:03:47,513 --> 00:03:49,679 I need the phone line to connect my modem. 101 00:03:49,681 --> 00:03:51,114 What the hell's a modem? 102 00:03:51,116 --> 00:03:52,515 It links my computer 103 00:03:52,518 --> 00:03:54,911 to an interconnected web of other computers 104 00:03:54,914 --> 00:03:57,354 in order to facilitate the exchange of ideas. 105 00:03:57,356 --> 00:03:59,923 That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of. 106 00:03:59,925 --> 00:04:02,036 Sadly, that was not 107 00:04:02,039 --> 00:04:04,127 the stupidest thing he ever said. 108 00:04:04,129 --> 00:04:06,463 Lift, lift, squeeze it. 109 00:04:08,867 --> 00:04:10,667 Have you tried the meatballs here? 110 00:04:10,669 --> 00:04:12,492 They are fantastic. 111 00:04:12,495 --> 00:04:13,703 I haven't. 112 00:04:13,705 --> 00:04:14,971 But speaking of meatballs, 113 00:04:14,973 --> 00:04:17,374 I hear you're gonna hang out with my son-in-law. 114 00:04:17,376 --> 00:04:18,876 Yeah. 115 00:04:19,911 --> 00:04:21,477 Hmm. 116 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:22,779 Oh. 117 00:04:22,781 --> 00:04:24,714 You don't like that at all. 118 00:04:24,716 --> 00:04:26,416 No, it's fine with me. 119 00:04:26,418 --> 00:04:27,951 I hope you all go out and... 120 00:04:27,953 --> 00:04:30,204 - have a grand old time. - Oh. 121 00:04:30,207 --> 00:04:31,606 Yeah, well, what's the matter? 122 00:04:31,609 --> 00:04:33,781 You afraid I'm gonna find out all your secrets? 123 00:04:33,784 --> 00:04:36,492 Calm down. You're enjoying this a little too much. 124 00:04:36,495 --> 00:04:37,994 Enjoying it? I'm loving it. 125 00:04:37,996 --> 00:04:39,930 Look how mad you're getting. 126 00:04:39,932 --> 00:04:42,065 Come on, what's he got on you? 127 00:04:42,067 --> 00:04:43,667 Did you do some jail time? 128 00:04:43,669 --> 00:04:45,502 Were you a go-go dancer? 129 00:04:45,504 --> 00:04:46,703 Hmm. 130 00:04:46,705 --> 00:04:50,474 Have you got a tattoo in a naughty place? 131 00:04:53,178 --> 00:04:54,244 Can I see it? 132 00:04:57,683 --> 00:05:00,286 Ooh! Someone responded to a theory I posted 133 00:05:00,289 --> 00:05:02,052 on the physics bulletin board. 134 00:05:02,054 --> 00:05:04,054 He called my work flawed. 135 00:05:04,056 --> 00:05:05,422 That's rude. 136 00:05:05,424 --> 00:05:07,326 Let him know he can't push you around. 137 00:05:07,329 --> 00:05:09,362 That's what I did at baseball practice. 138 00:05:09,365 --> 00:05:11,465 I'd rather not resort to name-calling. 139 00:05:11,468 --> 00:05:14,097 It usually gets me stuffed somewhere uncomfortable. 140 00:05:14,099 --> 00:05:15,298 That's in person, 141 00:05:15,300 --> 00:05:17,309 where people know you're pathetic and weak. 142 00:05:17,312 --> 00:05:18,635 That's true. 143 00:05:18,637 --> 00:05:20,804 This is completely anonymous. 144 00:05:20,806 --> 00:05:22,439 I can say whatever I want 145 00:05:22,441 --> 00:05:24,386 without fear of physical retaliation. 146 00:05:24,389 --> 00:05:25,723 Thanks. 147 00:05:26,715 --> 00:05:28,348 And on that day, 148 00:05:28,351 --> 00:05:30,215 my sister created 149 00:05:30,218 --> 00:05:32,528 the first Internet flame war. 150 00:05:32,531 --> 00:05:35,786 Ooh, that is as cruel as it is grammatical. 151 00:05:35,789 --> 00:05:37,219 And send. 152 00:05:40,753 --> 00:05:43,636 I tried to call you last night; the phone was busy. 153 00:05:43,639 --> 00:05:45,857 Oh, yeah, that was Sheldon. 154 00:05:45,859 --> 00:05:49,246 Sheldon has friends he talks on the phone with? 155 00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:52,898 Well, his computer was talking to another computer. 156 00:05:52,900 --> 00:05:55,801 Oh. And the world makes sense again. 157 00:05:55,803 --> 00:05:57,469 Morning. 158 00:05:57,471 --> 00:06:00,872 Just a reminder, I'm gonna be late tonight. 159 00:06:00,874 --> 00:06:03,175 Hanging with my new buddy Dale. 160 00:06:03,177 --> 00:06:05,410 Well, I hope you two have fun together. 161 00:06:05,412 --> 00:06:08,180 Oh, we will. So much to talk about. 162 00:06:08,182 --> 00:06:10,549 You better respect her privacy. 163 00:06:10,551 --> 00:06:12,535 Oh, I don't plan on doing that at all. 164 00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,222 Don't you need to go to work? 165 00:06:14,225 --> 00:06:17,321 Yes, but I don't want to leave until I know you're upset. 166 00:06:17,324 --> 00:06:20,026 Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not. 167 00:06:21,862 --> 00:06:23,113 Yeah, you are. 168 00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:24,683 Bye. 169 00:06:28,535 --> 00:06:33,071 It's just so easy. All you do is type in the Usenet address: 170 00:06:33,073 --> 00:06:37,843 "sci... dot... theory... 171 00:06:37,845 --> 00:06:41,279 dot... physics... 172 00:06:41,281 --> 00:06:45,083 dot... research... 173 00:06:45,085 --> 00:06:48,053 dot... quantum." 174 00:06:48,055 --> 00:06:49,855 Press enter, and it comes right up. 175 00:07:00,601 --> 00:07:02,567 Careful. In WarGames, 176 00:07:02,569 --> 00:07:04,670 Matthew Broderick almost blew up the world. 177 00:07:04,672 --> 00:07:06,405 The only thing I'm gonna be blowing up 178 00:07:06,407 --> 00:07:08,807 is this fellow's flimsy argument. 179 00:07:10,144 --> 00:07:13,146 That was one of my classic jokes; feel free to laugh. 180 00:07:17,651 --> 00:07:20,452 See? Like magic. 181 00:07:23,457 --> 00:07:24,923 Hey. 182 00:07:24,925 --> 00:07:27,893 Uh, why are you dressed like a boy? 183 00:07:27,895 --> 00:07:29,961 I made the baseball team. 184 00:07:29,963 --> 00:07:32,535 Oh, so you are a boy. 185 00:07:42,743 --> 00:07:44,810 Get out, I need to change. 186 00:07:44,812 --> 00:07:47,312 - You seem upset. - I am. 187 00:07:47,314 --> 00:07:49,815 I was right? Good for me. 188 00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:51,150 Just get out. 189 00:07:54,260 --> 00:07:55,953 Wait. 190 00:07:55,956 --> 00:07:57,856 You get picked on all the time. 191 00:07:57,858 --> 00:07:59,324 How do you deal with it? 192 00:07:59,326 --> 00:08:00,926 Who's picking on you? 193 00:08:00,928 --> 00:08:02,594 It doesn't matter, just tell me. 194 00:08:02,596 --> 00:08:05,664 I usually start by telling myself how much smarter I am 195 00:08:05,666 --> 00:08:09,301 than the person who's picking on me, but that won't work for you. 196 00:08:09,303 --> 00:08:10,636 Out. 197 00:08:12,806 --> 00:08:14,539 Missy? 198 00:08:16,376 --> 00:08:17,566 What? 199 00:08:17,569 --> 00:08:20,245 Sometimes I imagine that I'm an ion with a positive charge 200 00:08:20,247 --> 00:08:22,114 and they're an ion with a negative charge. 201 00:08:22,116 --> 00:08:24,015 It's so that whatever they say bounces off me 202 00:08:24,017 --> 00:08:25,351 and sticks to them. 203 00:08:28,555 --> 00:08:29,821 Hi, Georgie. 204 00:08:29,823 --> 00:08:31,189 Hey. 205 00:08:31,191 --> 00:08:33,091 I like that jacket. 206 00:08:33,093 --> 00:08:34,746 Then you'll probably like my pants; 207 00:08:34,749 --> 00:08:36,379 they're made of the same stuff. 208 00:08:39,312 --> 00:08:41,766 Well, see you in class. 209 00:08:41,769 --> 00:08:44,203 Okay. 210 00:08:55,048 --> 00:08:56,181 Veronica. 211 00:08:56,183 --> 00:08:58,231 Hey, Georgie. 212 00:08:58,234 --> 00:08:59,399 What's up? 213 00:08:59,402 --> 00:09:01,887 We're-we're friends, right? 214 00:09:01,889 --> 00:09:03,221 Yeah. 215 00:09:03,223 --> 00:09:05,491 We're just friends? 216 00:09:06,493 --> 00:09:07,726 What do you mean? 217 00:09:07,728 --> 00:09:08,899 Well, I've asked you out 218 00:09:08,902 --> 00:09:11,263 a bunch and you've made it pretty clear 219 00:09:11,265 --> 00:09:12,918 you weren't interested, 220 00:09:12,921 --> 00:09:14,941 but before I asked out another girl, 221 00:09:14,944 --> 00:09:16,477 I just wanted to make sure that... 222 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:17,803 It's fine. 223 00:09:17,805 --> 00:09:21,239 You sure? Because if it's not... 224 00:09:21,241 --> 00:09:23,074 Georgie, I need to focus 225 00:09:23,076 --> 00:09:26,411 on my relationship with God right now, 226 00:09:26,413 --> 00:09:29,215 but I'm really happy for you. 227 00:09:30,559 --> 00:09:34,094 Okay. Cool. 228 00:09:35,622 --> 00:09:37,356 Cool. 229 00:09:38,968 --> 00:09:42,938 Well, guess I'll see you around. 230 00:09:44,231 --> 00:09:45,965 Yup. 231 00:10:09,556 --> 00:10:12,657 Well, I-I was married for 18 years and I got to tell you, 232 00:10:12,659 --> 00:10:16,121 those were the two best years of my life. 233 00:10:16,124 --> 00:10:20,013 Ah. What's it like, you know, being single at your age? 234 00:10:20,016 --> 00:10:21,735 Why, you thinking about it? 235 00:10:21,738 --> 00:10:23,368 No, no, everything's fine. 236 00:10:23,370 --> 00:10:26,004 - Happily married, just, uh, just curious. - Yeah... 237 00:10:26,006 --> 00:10:27,719 Come on, now. She's not here. 238 00:10:29,061 --> 00:10:31,194 Well, to answer your question, it's just great. 239 00:10:31,197 --> 00:10:33,797 See, I get to wander around my house in my underwear, 240 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,948 and I can make whatever bodily noises I choose 241 00:10:36,950 --> 00:10:38,216 whenever I choose. 242 00:10:38,218 --> 00:10:40,619 Ah. I do that now. 243 00:10:40,621 --> 00:10:42,721 Well, then, you got yourself a keeper. 244 00:10:44,591 --> 00:10:47,359 So how'd you wind up coaching baseball? 245 00:10:47,361 --> 00:10:49,016 Well, with the sporting goods store, 246 00:10:49,019 --> 00:10:50,495 you know, I've sponsored a couple of teams, 247 00:10:50,497 --> 00:10:52,477 and then this year, my grandson wanted to play, 248 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:55,121 so it lets me spend more time with him. 249 00:10:55,124 --> 00:10:57,369 That's nice. Yeah, I coach my son in football. 250 00:10:57,371 --> 00:10:58,503 Sheldon? 251 00:10:58,505 --> 00:11:01,032 Oh, God, no. Can you imagine? 252 00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:03,709 - You really scared me there for a second. - Yeah. 253 00:11:06,810 --> 00:11:09,344 - So you're dating my mother-in-law. - Oh, no. 254 00:11:09,347 --> 00:11:12,754 Now, did she send you here on a fact-finding mission? 255 00:11:12,757 --> 00:11:14,516 No. No, I-if anything, she's worried 256 00:11:14,519 --> 00:11:16,554 I'm gonna tell you things about her. 257 00:11:16,556 --> 00:11:18,323 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 258 00:11:18,325 --> 00:11:20,685 Well, I tell you what, why don't we get another drink 259 00:11:20,688 --> 00:11:21,954 and let's get to it? 260 00:11:21,957 --> 00:11:25,564 Would you get this man a bucket of beer here, please? 261 00:11:27,108 --> 00:11:29,775 I'm sorry those girls were so mean. 262 00:11:29,778 --> 00:11:31,645 They didn't just call me a boy. 263 00:11:31,648 --> 00:11:33,514 They wouldn't sit with me at lunch. 264 00:11:33,517 --> 00:11:35,784 No one talked to me at recess. 265 00:11:35,787 --> 00:11:37,086 Aw, baby. 266 00:11:37,089 --> 00:11:39,243 Somebody crossed out "Missy Cooper" in my notebook 267 00:11:39,246 --> 00:11:40,912 and wrote "Mister Cooper." 268 00:11:40,914 --> 00:11:42,513 Well, if that's what they're like, 269 00:11:42,515 --> 00:11:44,547 maybe you don't want them as friends. 270 00:11:44,550 --> 00:11:48,486 I don't think I want to play baseball anymore. 271 00:11:48,488 --> 00:11:51,991 If that's what you want, it's your decision. 272 00:11:57,162 --> 00:11:58,262 Hello? 273 00:11:58,265 --> 00:12:01,032 I heard your daughter's playing baseball. 274 00:12:01,034 --> 00:12:02,464 Hey, Brenda. 275 00:12:02,467 --> 00:12:03,801 What were you thinking? 276 00:12:03,803 --> 00:12:05,436 Excuse me? 277 00:12:05,438 --> 00:12:07,405 My Billy's on that team. 278 00:12:07,407 --> 00:12:09,407 Baseball's for boys. 279 00:12:09,409 --> 00:12:11,183 Says who? 280 00:12:11,186 --> 00:12:13,540 Says everyone. It's not ladylike. 281 00:12:13,543 --> 00:12:15,780 Save some pudding for your father! 282 00:12:15,782 --> 00:12:17,415 Aw. 283 00:12:17,417 --> 00:12:19,684 Okay, where was I? 284 00:12:19,686 --> 00:12:21,586 You were telling me what was ladylike 285 00:12:21,588 --> 00:12:23,946 and then yelled at your son like a dock foreman. 286 00:12:23,949 --> 00:12:26,057 Listen, I'm just doing you a favor. 287 00:12:26,059 --> 00:12:28,426 The other moms on the team are starting to talk. 288 00:12:28,429 --> 00:12:31,297 Well, maybe the other moms need to mind their own business. 289 00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:32,397 Come on, Mary. 290 00:12:32,399 --> 00:12:35,066 Isn't one weird kid in your family enough? 291 00:12:35,068 --> 00:12:36,802 You going for a record? 292 00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:42,152 You're playing baseball. 293 00:12:42,155 --> 00:12:44,008 But you said it was my decision. 294 00:12:44,010 --> 00:12:45,988 It is. And you're playing. 295 00:12:47,647 --> 00:12:50,481 - There you are. - Oh, yeah. 296 00:12:50,483 --> 00:12:52,027 Connie's great. 297 00:12:52,030 --> 00:12:55,219 You can have a beer with her, watch a football game, 298 00:12:55,221 --> 00:12:56,754 joke around. 299 00:12:56,756 --> 00:12:58,389 She doesn't mind if you swear. 300 00:12:58,391 --> 00:13:01,192 In fact, that woman's got a mouth on her. 301 00:13:01,194 --> 00:13:03,728 - I have noticed that. - Yeah. 302 00:13:03,730 --> 00:13:06,564 You know, I just realized something. 303 00:13:06,566 --> 00:13:08,566 I got more in common with my mother-in-law 304 00:13:08,568 --> 00:13:10,168 than I do my own wife. 305 00:13:10,170 --> 00:13:11,536 That's kind of creepy. 306 00:13:11,538 --> 00:13:13,671 Yeah. 307 00:13:13,673 --> 00:13:15,540 Let's hope the beer does its job 308 00:13:15,542 --> 00:13:17,066 and I don't remember this tomorrow. 309 00:13:17,069 --> 00:13:20,863 Well, hey, tell me something about this guy she was seeing. 310 00:13:20,866 --> 00:13:23,580 Mm. The scientist. 311 00:13:23,583 --> 00:13:25,946 - Really? A scientist? - Yeah, not with test tubes; 312 00:13:25,949 --> 00:13:29,191 more with arithmetic, thinking and stuff. 313 00:13:29,194 --> 00:13:31,383 - Uh-huh. A physicist. - There you go. 314 00:13:31,386 --> 00:13:33,524 Yeah. Nice enough fella. 315 00:13:33,526 --> 00:13:35,393 Always reminded me of that cartoon owl 316 00:13:35,395 --> 00:13:36,828 in the Tootsie Pop commercials. 317 00:13:36,830 --> 00:13:39,831 Hmm. Well, why'd they break up? 318 00:13:39,833 --> 00:13:42,121 Uh, you know. 319 00:13:42,124 --> 00:13:43,534 You know, things happen. 320 00:13:43,536 --> 00:13:46,237 Uh-huh. What things? 321 00:13:46,239 --> 00:13:48,915 - Eh... - Come on, now. 322 00:13:48,918 --> 00:13:51,722 At least tell me if there's something I need to worry about. 323 00:13:51,725 --> 00:13:53,680 Oh, no. Connie's rock solid. 324 00:13:53,683 --> 00:13:55,513 Unless you put on a little weight. 325 00:13:55,515 --> 00:13:57,382 - Then you will hear about it. - Ah. 326 00:13:57,384 --> 00:13:59,719 Uh, you want to switch to light beer? 327 00:13:59,722 --> 00:14:03,321 Hey. I may have boobs, but I'm still a man. 328 00:14:14,514 --> 00:14:17,782 Well, I never. 329 00:14:17,784 --> 00:14:19,350 Hello? 330 00:14:19,352 --> 00:14:21,419 I'm having a scientific argument with someone 331 00:14:21,421 --> 00:14:22,687 and I need your help. 332 00:14:22,689 --> 00:14:25,223 I do love a good science fight. 333 00:14:25,225 --> 00:14:27,726 Has it devolved to name-calling yet? 334 00:14:27,728 --> 00:14:30,231 Yes. I called him a Pongo pygmaeus. 335 00:14:30,234 --> 00:14:31,567 Oh! 336 00:14:31,570 --> 00:14:33,565 A Bornean orangutan. 337 00:14:33,567 --> 00:14:38,336 That is a creature who would be very bad at science. Well done. 338 00:14:38,338 --> 00:14:39,471 I know. 339 00:14:39,473 --> 00:14:40,622 So how can I help? 340 00:14:40,625 --> 00:14:41,757 I posted a theory 341 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:43,360 on the collapse of wave function. 342 00:14:43,363 --> 00:14:45,143 We've been arguing back and forth 343 00:14:45,145 --> 00:14:47,919 and he's saying that my probabilities come out negative. 344 00:14:47,922 --> 00:14:49,278 Hmm. I see. 345 00:14:49,281 --> 00:14:51,814 Have you considered that negative probabilities 346 00:14:51,817 --> 00:14:53,536 can still have meaning? 347 00:14:53,539 --> 00:14:56,716 Ooh, I hadn't. That suggests another idea. 348 00:14:56,719 --> 00:14:58,684 I can argue that negative probabilities 349 00:14:58,687 --> 00:15:00,921 only show up in intermediate steps. 350 00:15:00,924 --> 00:15:03,052 I'm gonna destroy him with this. 351 00:15:03,055 --> 00:15:07,658 And when you do, feel free to call him a Scarabaeus viettei, 352 00:15:07,661 --> 00:15:08,927 a dung beetle. 353 00:15:08,930 --> 00:15:11,531 Oh, I so admire your mind. 354 00:15:11,534 --> 00:15:13,968 Back at you, little man. 355 00:15:16,877 --> 00:15:18,510 Can I top off your coffee? 356 00:15:18,512 --> 00:15:20,679 Well, that's awfully nice of you. 357 00:15:20,681 --> 00:15:22,948 You know me. I'm a pleaser. 358 00:15:22,950 --> 00:15:25,550 You just want to know what I talked about with Dale. 359 00:15:25,552 --> 00:15:27,286 Not really. 360 00:15:28,355 --> 00:15:30,422 I promise you got nothing to worry about. 361 00:15:30,424 --> 00:15:32,223 I didn't say a thing. 362 00:15:32,225 --> 00:15:33,858 Thank you. 363 00:15:33,860 --> 00:15:35,860 So what'd you find out about him? 364 00:15:35,862 --> 00:15:37,864 Oh, I see how this works. 365 00:15:37,867 --> 00:15:39,831 You're damn straight that's how it works. 366 00:15:39,833 --> 00:15:41,967 Now spill. 367 00:15:41,969 --> 00:15:44,002 Well, let's see. 368 00:15:44,004 --> 00:15:45,864 Uh, he likes to drink, 369 00:15:45,867 --> 00:15:46,999 likes to hunt. 370 00:15:47,009 --> 00:15:48,706 Uh, he's got a son who's divorced. 371 00:15:48,709 --> 00:15:50,775 I know all this. Go on. 372 00:15:50,777 --> 00:15:52,403 That's all I got. 373 00:15:53,925 --> 00:15:56,659 You are useless. 374 00:15:56,662 --> 00:15:58,783 When he comes to his senses and dumps you, 375 00:15:58,785 --> 00:16:00,719 - I'm gonna stay friends with him. - Good. 376 00:16:00,721 --> 00:16:03,388 If he dumps me, he deserves to suffer. 377 00:16:09,942 --> 00:16:11,208 Hey, Dale. 378 00:16:11,211 --> 00:16:12,963 Hey, George. 379 00:16:12,966 --> 00:16:16,067 So, uh, she gonna be okay out there? 380 00:16:16,069 --> 00:16:17,471 Well, I talked to the other coach. 381 00:16:17,474 --> 00:16:19,138 The boys are gonna leave her alone. 382 00:16:20,169 --> 00:16:22,203 Hey, Billy! 383 00:16:22,206 --> 00:16:24,675 You're supposed to be warming up. 384 00:16:24,678 --> 00:16:26,344 I found a worm! 385 00:16:26,346 --> 00:16:28,177 Do you want to coach a baseball team? 386 00:16:30,283 --> 00:16:32,417 You praying? 387 00:16:32,419 --> 00:16:35,052 I'm asking the Lord to watch over my little girl. 388 00:16:35,055 --> 00:16:37,288 Well, while you're at it, ask Him for a win. 389 00:16:37,290 --> 00:16:38,890 I got money on this. 390 00:16:38,892 --> 00:16:41,028 You bet on a kids' baseball game? 391 00:16:41,031 --> 00:16:42,856 I got three to one odds. 392 00:16:44,325 --> 00:16:45,930 Thanks to Dr. Sturgis, 393 00:16:45,932 --> 00:16:48,667 I had all the intellectual ammunition I needed 394 00:16:48,669 --> 00:16:50,903 to bring my opponent to his knees. 395 00:16:50,906 --> 00:16:52,395 I accused him of conflating 396 00:16:52,398 --> 00:16:54,665 two different interpretations of quantum theory, 397 00:16:54,668 --> 00:16:56,907 woefully misrepresenting Paul Dirac, 398 00:16:56,910 --> 00:16:59,971 and when I called him a dung beetle in Latin, 399 00:16:59,974 --> 00:17:01,512 I was so riled up, 400 00:17:01,515 --> 00:17:04,916 I almost started producing testosterone. 401 00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:08,067 Here she comes. 402 00:17:08,070 --> 00:17:09,554 This is it. 403 00:17:09,556 --> 00:17:10,955 Go get 'em. 404 00:17:13,226 --> 00:17:16,458 - Let's go, Missy! - Go get 'em, Missy! 405 00:17:37,617 --> 00:17:38,717 Ball. 406 00:17:38,719 --> 00:17:40,794 - Whoa. - Oh! Dear Lord. 407 00:17:40,797 --> 00:17:42,974 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold it. 408 00:17:42,977 --> 00:17:44,742 It happens. She's okay. 409 00:17:44,745 --> 00:17:46,946 Brush it off, Missy! 410 00:18:06,146 --> 00:18:07,212 Ball. 411 00:18:07,214 --> 00:18:08,528 Whoa! 412 00:18:08,531 --> 00:18:10,060 - What the hell? - Son of a bitch. 413 00:18:10,063 --> 00:18:11,849 Hey! Hey, hey, hey. Hold it. 414 00:18:11,852 --> 00:18:13,685 We talked about this. 415 00:18:21,039 --> 00:18:22,873 Cooper! 416 00:18:24,064 --> 00:18:25,317 Ah, well, here we go. 417 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,487 Eat dirt. Eat it. 418 00:18:27,490 --> 00:18:28,775 Kick his ass! 419 00:18:28,778 --> 00:18:29,919 Does it taste good? 420 00:18:29,922 --> 00:18:31,044 Huh? 421 00:18:31,047 --> 00:18:33,567 Yeah, listen to your meemaw. Kick his ass! 422 00:18:33,570 --> 00:18:36,704 You gonna cry? Huh? Do it. Cry. 423 00:18:36,707 --> 00:18:38,440 Do something. Break it up. 424 00:18:38,443 --> 00:18:39,978 H-Hang on. She's winning. 425 00:18:39,980 --> 00:18:41,974 Missy! 426 00:18:41,977 --> 00:18:44,841 Missy Cooper, you stop beating up that boy! 427 00:18:44,844 --> 00:18:47,545 Punch him in the nuts! 428 00:18:50,085 --> 00:18:53,086 Ooh, the long-awaited rebuttal. 429 00:18:53,089 --> 00:18:56,090 "While I still believe my theory has merit, 430 00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:59,862 I will concede that your point has some validity." 431 00:19:01,735 --> 00:19:03,835 My point has some validity. 432 00:19:03,837 --> 00:19:06,538 My point has some validity! 433 00:19:06,540 --> 00:19:07,747 Yes! 434 00:19:08,859 --> 00:19:09,958 That day, 435 00:19:09,961 --> 00:19:11,375 both my sister and I 436 00:19:11,378 --> 00:19:14,263 emerged victorious from savage battles. 437 00:19:14,266 --> 00:19:17,042 Hers fought with fists, mine with words. 438 00:19:17,045 --> 00:19:21,652 What does my point have? Some validity! 439 00:19:21,655 --> 00:19:24,747 Although we were both pretty sore the next day. 440 00:19:26,817 --> 00:19:29,174 Ejected from your very first game. 441 00:19:29,177 --> 00:19:31,202 I'm proud of you, slugger. 442 00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:32,504 Thanks, Dad. 443 00:19:32,506 --> 00:19:34,806 - Dairy Queen's on me. - To be clear, 444 00:19:34,808 --> 00:19:37,041 we are not rewarding violence. 445 00:19:37,044 --> 00:19:38,627 But I am glad 446 00:19:38,630 --> 00:19:41,950 you didn't let those girls from school bully you into quitting. 447 00:19:41,953 --> 00:19:44,454 I should rub their faces in the dirt. 448 00:19:44,457 --> 00:19:45,689 That's my girl. 449 00:19:45,692 --> 00:19:48,892 Someone's getting extra sprinkles tonight. 450 00:19:48,895 --> 00:19:51,328 Ooh, hooray for violence.