1 00:01:23,069 --> 00:01:27,929 CREDITS 2 00:01:31,679 --> 00:01:34,671 _ 3 00:01:36,187 --> 00:01:39,115 _ 4 00:01:39,679 --> 00:01:42,382 _ 5 00:01:43,953 --> 00:01:47,132 _ 6 00:01:49,358 --> 00:01:51,277 _ 7 00:01:51,304 --> 00:01:53,100 Skin Deep, by Sloan. 8 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:54,522 Since the beginning of time, 9 00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:56,526 man has been obsessed with his own image. 10 00:01:56,599 --> 00:01:58,683 And now, with own new body sculpting technique, 11 00:01:58,710 --> 00:02:00,600 that image can be perfected. 12 00:02:00,627 --> 00:02:01,997 - What's the secret you ask? - _ 13 00:02:02,024 --> 00:02:03,072 Does it really work? 14 00:02:03,099 --> 00:02:05,740 As you can see, our results speak for themselves. 15 00:02:06,020 --> 00:02:08,620 This is Debbie before the Skin Deep treatment. 16 00:02:08,740 --> 00:02:11,260 And this, is Debbie three days later. 17 00:02:11,820 --> 00:02:14,900 Skin Deep by Sloan helped change my live. 18 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,620 Now, I'm here to help change yours. 19 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:21,040 A 100% painless, completely natural procedure. 20 00:02:21,067 --> 00:02:24,487 Skin Deep by Sloan is the biggest breakthrough in body management history. 21 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,764 Hi, I'm Dr. Herbert Sloan. 22 00:02:26,790 --> 00:02:30,900 And I promise, you'll have the perfect body that you deserved. 23 00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:37,700 Skin Deep by Sloan, feel the miracle and see the difference. 24 00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:42,712 You're Debbie from the TV! 25 00:02:42,738 --> 00:02:43,724 May I help you? 26 00:02:43,750 --> 00:02:46,309 I'm Henry Quill, I got an email. 27 00:02:47,220 --> 00:02:49,334 Here you are, Mr. Quill. 28 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:52,014 We want to thank you for being such a loyal customer over the years. 29 00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:55,334 It says here you've been a steady consumer of Dr. Sloan's previous products. 30 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:57,780 Well, I've eaten my share of his Ginkgo Global Pills. 31 00:02:57,820 --> 00:03:00,443 Which is why Dr. Sloan thinks you'd be perfect to be one 32 00:03:00,470 --> 00:03:03,467 of the first presented with this more effective treatment. 33 00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,998 The doctor will be right with you. 34 00:03:06,682 --> 00:03:09,270 My Simmons, you can come on now. 35 00:03:14,996 --> 00:03:17,644 _ 36 00:03:21,390 --> 00:03:22,556 Hi. 37 00:03:27,379 --> 00:03:28,591 I'm Henry. 38 00:03:29,660 --> 00:03:31,020 Kelly. 39 00:03:34,494 --> 00:03:35,977 It's kind of mysterious. 40 00:03:36,313 --> 00:03:38,847 It's like we are going to meet the real Dr. Sloan. 41 00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:41,157 I don't care if he is Dr. Sues. 42 00:03:41,184 --> 00:03:43,427 As long as he can make me look like her. 43 00:03:50,751 --> 00:03:52,526 Welcome, everybody. 44 00:03:52,552 --> 00:03:57,244 I'm Herbert Sloan, with the skin deep solution for everybody. 45 00:03:57,661 --> 00:03:59,521 I see what you did there. 46 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:02,880 Please, come gather around right over here for us. 47 00:04:04,533 --> 00:04:06,165 Ah, don't be shy. 48 00:04:07,540 --> 00:04:09,846 Like magic, Mr. Simmons. It's a new you. 49 00:04:09,872 --> 00:04:12,328 It's impossible. What they do with that guy. 50 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:15,510 Wow, he's so skinny. That's impossible. 51 00:04:16,134 --> 00:04:17,440 He looks great. 52 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:19,789 Donuts anyone? 53 00:04:19,815 --> 00:04:22,511 I though this was about losing weight, not gaining it. 54 00:04:22,537 --> 00:04:26,532 It is, but after a sit in with me, you'll never have to diet again. 55 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:28,352 Hmm, we'll see. 56 00:04:29,333 --> 00:04:30,852 Maybe, just one. 57 00:04:32,548 --> 00:04:33,640 One. 58 00:04:33,667 --> 00:04:36,157 My new procedure will work on you. 59 00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:39,235 And you, and you, and you. 60 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:43,120 Trust me. You've never seen anything like this. 61 00:04:43,220 --> 00:04:46,580 My success rate is unprecedented, 100%. 62 00:04:55,220 --> 00:04:58,040 Everyone knows, there's no fountain of youth. 63 00:04:58,067 --> 00:05:00,487 But, it doesn't stop us from looking. 64 00:05:01,971 --> 00:05:05,414 Man has been obsessed with his own image since the beginning of time. 65 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:09,100 And now, that image can be perfected. 66 00:05:09,702 --> 00:05:13,267 _ 67 00:05:16,661 --> 00:05:18,142 What is that?! 68 00:05:18,790 --> 00:05:22,126 Since 2012, my team and I have collected 10 specimens 69 00:05:22,153 --> 00:05:25,580 from a water intake reservoir in South America. 70 00:05:26,251 --> 00:05:28,982 To think, I was going to Brazilian rainforest 71 00:05:29,009 --> 00:05:31,154 searching for fat melting berries, 72 00:05:31,181 --> 00:05:33,961 when I discovered something so much more. 73 00:05:37,157 --> 00:05:39,800 Beautiful, isn't it? 74 00:05:40,012 --> 00:05:42,794 From this expedition, we concluded that a high number 75 00:05:42,821 --> 00:05:45,266 of these large female Anguilla forms 76 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:47,015 were effectively trapped in the reservoir, 77 00:05:47,042 --> 00:05:49,246 unable to complete the breeding migration. 78 00:05:49,273 --> 00:05:52,813 - Anguilla-what? Is it an eel? - In a way. 79 00:05:52,882 --> 00:05:58,000 And you'll be surprised to learn how many species there still are to be discovered on this planet. 80 00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:00,920 We've learned after extensive testing 81 00:06:00,947 --> 00:06:03,339 that it's an advanced form of a leech. 82 00:06:03,366 --> 00:06:06,180 But, with one major distinction. 83 00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:08,680 This one, doesn't drink blood. 84 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:12,177 Once attached, it secretes a fluid 85 00:06:12,203 --> 00:06:14,194 that completely numbs the patient's skin. 86 00:06:14,220 --> 00:06:17,364 Then the creature painlessly uses its saliva 87 00:06:17,390 --> 00:06:18,485 It eats fat! 88 00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:21,314 All right. To put it simply, Kelly, yes. 89 00:06:21,340 --> 00:06:23,034 It completely liquefies it. 90 00:06:23,060 --> 00:06:25,499 It absorbs excess adipose stored in fat cells. 91 00:06:25,525 --> 00:06:28,427 Nothing else is removed, of course. Just fat. 92 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:31,800 - Of course. - Think about it. 93 00:06:32,060 --> 00:06:34,880 Diet and exercise are a thing of the past. 94 00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:38,320 Believe me when I tell you, it's indisputable. 95 00:06:39,220 --> 00:06:41,574 Never again in our lifetime will we witness 96 00:06:41,601 --> 00:06:44,300 a truer undiscovered miracle of nature. 97 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:46,054 Take my money. 98 00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:49,201 Follow me, please. 99 00:06:57,977 --> 00:06:59,117 Henry? 100 00:07:00,678 --> 00:07:02,968 You're not putting that thing on me. 101 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:06,070 Just hear me out. 102 00:07:06,340 --> 00:07:08,257 No hard sell. This is me to you. 103 00:07:08,284 --> 00:07:10,010 Wh-Why me? You don't even know me. 104 00:07:10,036 --> 00:07:11,382 But I do. 105 00:07:12,713 --> 00:07:14,679 I was you once. 106 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:16,655 And look at me now. 107 00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:19,960 I've got FDA approval. I've got countless trials. 108 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:22,972 Look, total transparency. 109 00:07:22,998 --> 00:07:25,990 I've sunk every dime I have into this. 110 00:07:26,140 --> 00:07:29,230 And would I put it all on the line if it wasn't completely safe? 111 00:07:29,297 --> 00:07:31,637 Let me change your life. 112 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:36,370 And I'm supposed to believe that no one has come across this animal until now? 113 00:07:36,620 --> 00:07:39,370 It's incredibly rare, for starters. 114 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:41,924 We searched for months. They found 10. 115 00:07:41,950 --> 00:07:42,808 10! 116 00:07:42,835 --> 00:07:45,723 Still, I braved uncharted territory. 117 00:07:45,750 --> 00:07:47,174 And I'll reap the rewards. 118 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:50,500 But trust me, we all win here. 119 00:07:55,540 --> 00:07:56,576 I'm sorry. 120 00:07:57,140 --> 00:07:58,918 It's too freaky for me. 121 00:07:59,110 --> 00:08:01,103 I really can't do this. 122 00:08:02,555 --> 00:08:03,850 Good luck. 123 00:08:09,738 --> 00:08:11,773 _ 124 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:15,120 Alright, here we go. That will be $10.37. 125 00:08:15,660 --> 00:08:17,480 We'll take the next in line. Sir? 126 00:08:18,035 --> 00:08:19,480 What can I get for you? 127 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:26,320 Wow, have you been working out. You look great. 128 00:08:26,660 --> 00:08:27,964 And you're up. 129 00:08:28,183 --> 00:08:29,871 Just finished working out. 130 00:08:30,737 --> 00:08:32,023 Look. 131 00:08:34,179 --> 00:08:37,199 So this is where you disappeared to. 132 00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:40,956 Kelly? 133 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:43,089 Is that you? 134 00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:46,800 - It works. - It has only been two weeks. 135 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:50,480 And Sloan hired me to be his spokesmodel. Can you believe that? 136 00:08:50,556 --> 00:08:52,796 You look... fantastic. 137 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:54,980 You really did it? 138 00:08:55,140 --> 00:08:57,935 With the worm and the suck-it? 139 00:08:57,961 --> 00:09:00,200 Totally painless. Just like Sloan said. 140 00:09:00,226 --> 00:09:02,500 A sip here, a sip there. 141 00:09:02,620 --> 00:09:03,840 It's a miracle. 142 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:07,280 Ohh, and he asked me to help introduce him on AM America tomorrow. 143 00:09:07,340 --> 00:09:09,334 You're gonna be, you're gonna be on the show? 144 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:12,100 Yeah. I can get you a couple of tickets. 145 00:09:12,574 --> 00:09:13,574 Well... 146 00:09:13,816 --> 00:09:15,940 Just one ticket, right? 147 00:09:16,049 --> 00:09:18,847 There is no plus one for a plus three. 148 00:09:19,824 --> 00:09:20,824 Hey... 149 00:09:21,582 --> 00:09:23,929 why don't you come be our volunteer? 150 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:28,500 Oh, come on, Henry. Opportunity knocks twice. 151 00:09:29,100 --> 00:09:30,613 Henry. 152 00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:32,840 Everybody's doing it. 153 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:35,880 - Order number 14. - That's me. 154 00:09:51,548 --> 00:09:55,453 Is there anything I can get you? Water? Some donuts? 155 00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:56,860 No, I had a box. 156 00:09:57,020 --> 00:09:58,613 We are really happy you're here, Henry. 157 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,484 Dr. Sloan is so excited to see your transformation. 158 00:10:01,510 --> 00:10:03,194 - Yeah. - Are you excited? 159 00:10:03,220 --> 00:10:04,274 A little terrified. 160 00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:07,150 So was I when I did it. But it was nothing, really. 161 00:10:08,216 --> 00:10:09,635 - See that man right there? - Yeah. 162 00:10:09,661 --> 00:10:10,658 He owns the station. 163 00:10:10,684 --> 00:10:13,020 He did it, loved it, half the crew liked him. 164 00:10:13,060 --> 00:10:15,404 Wow, all these people. That is incredible. 165 00:10:15,430 --> 00:10:18,860 Final set, we're going live in 3, 2... 166 00:10:21,332 --> 00:10:23,480 Good morning. It's time for... 167 00:10:23,506 --> 00:10:25,296 AM America Live. 168 00:10:25,322 --> 00:10:27,430 Today, we have a big show. 169 00:10:27,457 --> 00:10:30,094 After months of secrecy and speculation, 170 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:33,808 Dr. Herbert Sloan is here to unveil his top secret 171 00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:35,439 body sculpting technique. 172 00:10:35,466 --> 00:10:38,740 Due to be made available to the public in just four days. 173 00:10:38,975 --> 00:10:41,275 Maybe I should try it on my love handles. 174 00:10:42,230 --> 00:10:45,414 But first, the celestial event on everyone's mind, 175 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:48,650 the big solar eclipse, happening this morning. 176 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:52,047 It's being called the next great American Eclipse. 177 00:10:52,074 --> 00:10:53,599 It's so exciting. 178 00:10:53,625 --> 00:10:56,376 And we got our own?? Science expert, Jim Scott. 179 00:10:56,402 --> 00:10:59,943 standing by at the Horlicks Observatory to tell us all about it. 180 00:11:00,340 --> 00:11:01,734 Hey Jim! 181 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:03,254 Morning Randy and Suzy. 182 00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:04,534 Hope you're not afraid of the dark, 183 00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:07,594 because this may be the most spectacular eclipse of our lifetime. 184 00:11:07,620 --> 00:11:10,814 It estimated to last no longer than 160 seconds. 185 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:14,640 But during that time, I'm told, this would be seen across the entire United States, 186 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:16,994 something that hasn't happened for almost a century. 187 00:11:17,020 --> 00:11:19,644 Now, that sounds spooky. Anything to worry about? 188 00:11:19,670 --> 00:11:20,580 Not so much. 189 00:11:20,620 --> 00:11:22,980 But if you have pets, you might want to keep an eye on them. 190 00:11:23,020 --> 00:11:24,769 Sometimes, our furred and feathered friends 191 00:11:24,796 --> 00:11:26,806 get a little jumpy during an eclipse. 192 00:11:27,128 --> 00:11:28,404 Hmm. Now, why is that? 193 00:11:28,430 --> 00:11:31,628 Well, there's been speculation that abnormal animal behavior 194 00:11:31,655 --> 00:11:33,480 results in increase magnetic field flows 195 00:11:33,507 --> 00:11:35,590 during a solar eclipse of this magnitude. 196 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:38,359 - I don't know what that means! - Me neither. 197 00:11:38,386 --> 00:11:40,979 Thanks Jim. Let us know when it starts to get dark. 198 00:11:41,005 --> 00:11:43,254 Well, and keeping with our science theme, 199 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:45,320 we would like to welcome Dr. Sloan, 200 00:11:45,347 --> 00:11:47,300 with Skin Deep, by Sloan. 201 00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:49,154 Thank you. It's great to be here. 202 00:11:49,180 --> 00:11:52,580 Now, I understand you're going to be performing this miracle procedure. 203 00:11:52,620 --> 00:11:55,614 right here in this studio, in a matter of minutes. 204 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:57,420 Randy, I think it's safe to say that 205 00:11:57,460 --> 00:11:58,880 you will be amazed. 206 00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:02,546 Well, we will see right after this message. 207 00:12:03,868 --> 00:12:05,928 Clear! Back in 90, folks. 208 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:06,960 Thank you. 209 00:12:07,171 --> 00:12:08,786 We'll be right over. 210 00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:10,824 I guess this is it. 211 00:12:10,850 --> 00:12:12,400 You nervous? 212 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,500 You know, all my life, 213 00:12:14,540 --> 00:12:17,490 I've struggle with negative body image. 214 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:20,440 Diet pills, fat burners, I've tried everything. 215 00:12:20,820 --> 00:12:22,230 And now... 216 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:24,000 It's one big slurp... 217 00:12:24,260 --> 00:12:26,437 all my problems are going to be gone. 218 00:12:28,231 --> 00:12:30,120 And I can have a dating life. 219 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:32,880 Trust me. I've been swatting them away like flies. 220 00:12:33,816 --> 00:12:36,468 - Hey, you think when this is all... - Excuse me. 221 00:12:38,336 --> 00:12:40,656 Where is my soon to be body beautiful? 222 00:12:40,683 --> 00:12:42,077 Dr. Sloan. 223 00:12:43,312 --> 00:12:45,132 I never should have doubted you. 224 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:47,480 - Water under the bridge, my friend. - All right, everyone. 225 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:50,200 Going live in 3, 2... 226 00:12:51,376 --> 00:12:54,384 Let's check in with another update from Professor Jim Scott. 227 00:12:54,710 --> 00:12:57,840 It's staring to get darker out here. The shadows are... 228 00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:01,400 - Jim? - You okay, Jim? 229 00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:02,843 Buddy? 230 00:13:03,420 --> 00:13:06,004 Guess my own belly doesn't know what time it is. 231 00:13:06,030 --> 00:13:08,820 Still fighting off last night's lasagna. 232 00:13:09,284 --> 00:13:11,068 Well, keep us updated. 233 00:13:11,150 --> 00:13:13,534 - I hope he's okay. - I'm sure he will be fine. 234 00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:16,514 Let's saunter on over to Dr. Sloan, 235 00:13:16,540 --> 00:13:19,180 and witness another miracle of science. 236 00:13:19,389 --> 00:13:21,249 Hey there, Dr. Sloan. 237 00:13:21,405 --> 00:13:23,655 Are you ready to kiss those pounds goodbye? 238 00:13:24,521 --> 00:13:26,109 Shall we? 239 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,046 This is Henry Quill. 240 00:13:30,073 --> 00:13:32,653 - Hi Henry. - Hi America. 241 00:13:33,890 --> 00:13:36,640 And this, is our little wonder worm. 242 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:39,534 That is one big boy. 243 00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:41,550 A swarm dweller, you say? 244 00:13:41,576 --> 00:13:42,807 That's right. 245 00:13:42,833 --> 00:13:44,550 Our ecosystem would collapse, 246 00:13:44,577 --> 00:13:46,326 if nature hadn't provided us 247 00:13:46,352 --> 00:13:48,081 with an abundance of animals that plays 248 00:13:48,108 --> 00:13:50,158 a significant role in mankind existence. 249 00:13:50,184 --> 00:13:52,109 Ants, termites, bats. 250 00:13:52,136 --> 00:13:55,574 Without bees pollinating the world's food supply, we'll be goners. 251 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:58,408 And this, is another one of nature's miracles. 252 00:13:58,434 --> 00:14:00,472 Is it always that active? 253 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,140 Probably wants its breakfast. 254 00:14:04,653 --> 00:14:06,053 Ready Henry? 255 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:08,900 Kelly? 256 00:14:09,707 --> 00:14:12,137 Let's uh, let's check on Jim. 257 00:14:13,540 --> 00:14:15,243 The eclipse seems to have... 258 00:14:16,296 --> 00:14:17,910 - Jimbo? - Jim? 259 00:14:17,990 --> 00:14:19,547 Henry? 260 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,520 Is there something in my eye? 261 00:14:22,025 --> 00:14:25,173 - I can't see anything. - The eclipse seems to have reached its zenit. 262 00:14:25,820 --> 00:14:27,880 We are about at totality. 263 00:14:30,900 --> 00:14:32,860 - It does not look good - It does not. 264 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:35,120 - Jim... - You okay, Jim? Buddy? 265 00:14:46,507 --> 00:14:49,412 Please help me! Please make it stop! 266 00:15:07,756 --> 00:15:09,536 This can't be like this. 267 00:15:13,471 --> 00:15:14,815 You said it was safe. 268 00:15:26,698 --> 00:15:28,240 But it was safe. 269 00:15:30,416 --> 00:15:32,307 No. No, no, no. 270 00:15:32,737 --> 00:15:34,252 Stop. Stop! 271 00:15:44,740 --> 00:15:46,207 What's happening?! 272 00:15:47,300 --> 00:15:49,420 I promise. This is safe. 273 00:15:49,460 --> 00:15:51,140 This is not normal. 274 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:54,052 Sloan. Sloan! 275 00:15:58,220 --> 00:15:59,964 You son of a bitch. 276 00:15:59,990 --> 00:16:02,000 - You knew this was going to happen. - Wait, wait, wait. 277 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:03,884 - You knew! - No. 278 00:16:03,911 --> 00:16:05,564 You were going to make millions 279 00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:07,394 and let people die like that? 280 00:16:07,420 --> 00:16:10,244 - I didn't know. - You greedy bastard. 281 00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:12,104 You didn't care how many people you kill, 282 00:16:12,130 --> 00:16:14,022 as long as you make a profit! 283 00:16:15,152 --> 00:16:17,134 It wasn't like that. I mean... 284 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:19,933 Oh my god, solar eclipse messes with the magnetic frequencies. 285 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:21,740 They affect birds and insects, but 286 00:16:21,780 --> 00:16:23,316 who would have guessed leeches acted. 287 00:16:23,343 --> 00:16:26,957 - I never did... they reproduce... - What are you talking about? 288 00:16:27,205 --> 00:16:29,564 We... we're the same, Henry. 289 00:16:29,590 --> 00:16:32,934 Unhappy, desperate, looking in the mirror and 290 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:35,577 - hating ourselves. - See, that's the wrong attitude. 291 00:16:35,604 --> 00:16:39,319 I was close to 300 pounds. 292 00:16:39,866 --> 00:16:41,668 I was looking for an easy cure, 293 00:16:41,694 --> 00:16:43,563 a fast miracle.... But then... 294 00:16:43,843 --> 00:16:45,796 my team discovered the leech. 295 00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:49,991 You said you tested it, over and over and over. 296 00:16:50,018 --> 00:16:53,460 We did! In every situation imaginable. I just... 297 00:16:54,046 --> 00:16:58,085 We didn't count on the solar eclipse. Who would? My god! 298 00:16:58,607 --> 00:17:01,981 I'm such a fool. I just thought it would suck it all out of us. 299 00:17:02,008 --> 00:17:04,569 I didn't think it would leave anything behind. 300 00:18:12,450 --> 00:18:13,400 Damn it! 301 00:18:14,201 --> 00:18:16,301 My glasses, glasses. 302 00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:37,649 I changed my mind! 303 00:18:37,676 --> 00:18:39,726 No, I'm innocent. 304 00:18:43,996 --> 00:18:46,220 No! No! 305 00:18:48,332 --> 00:18:53,940 No! No no, no no no.... 306 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:41,002 Suck that! 307 00:20:27,475 --> 00:20:30,116 _ 308 00:20:30,142 --> 00:20:32,881 _ 309 00:20:32,908 --> 00:20:35,561 _ 310 00:20:52,269 --> 00:20:54,420 _ 311 00:20:54,447 --> 00:20:56,471 _ 312 00:20:56,498 --> 00:20:58,852 _ 313 00:21:00,069 --> 00:21:03,813 _ 314 00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:06,684 Hey there, Laker. This is Jolene Payne, 315 00:21:06,710 --> 00:21:10,494 coming to you live on this foggy Columbus Day weekend. 316 00:21:10,620 --> 00:21:13,660 I hate to be the bearer of bad news, boys and girls, 317 00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:17,854 but Parks and Rec just faxed over a water travel ban announcement. 318 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,493 Effectively immediately. 319 00:21:19,519 --> 00:21:21,439 But, we won't let a little fog 320 00:21:21,466 --> 00:21:23,742 ruin our holiday weekend, will we? 321 00:21:24,155 --> 00:21:25,414 So, stick around, 322 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:28,080 and celebrate with me, Jolene Payne, 323 00:21:28,220 --> 00:21:30,860 on WNGY, The Champ, 324 00:21:30,900 --> 00:21:32,866 Lake Champlain Radio. 325 00:21:38,897 --> 00:21:41,062 How are those dishes coming along there, Joseph? 326 00:21:41,088 --> 00:21:42,358 Good, mama. 327 00:21:56,990 --> 00:21:58,010 Did you know? 328 00:21:58,842 --> 00:22:01,565 April 8th, 1977, 329 00:22:01,592 --> 00:22:03,314 there are 6 sightings at Champlain Lake? 330 00:22:03,340 --> 00:22:04,994 Rose, please. 331 00:22:05,020 --> 00:22:08,340 The temperature of the water was 20 degrees colder than normal that day. 332 00:22:09,420 --> 00:22:11,020 Same as today. 333 00:22:11,380 --> 00:22:13,604 I thought we had an understanding. 334 00:22:13,630 --> 00:22:16,700 We agreed never to bring this up again. 335 00:22:16,900 --> 00:22:19,580 Champy doesn't exist. It's not real. 336 00:22:23,616 --> 00:22:24,741 But mom, 337 00:22:24,819 --> 00:22:27,065 didn't daddy suggest that the foghorn 338 00:22:27,092 --> 00:22:30,393 was Champy yawning before taking a nap? 339 00:22:30,500 --> 00:22:31,860 Okay. Hurry up. 340 00:22:32,661 --> 00:22:35,601 You know how Chet gets when he is in one of his moods. 341 00:22:50,150 --> 00:22:51,874 - What are you doing? - Thomas is coming. 342 00:22:51,900 --> 00:22:53,800 I can't let him see me like this. 343 00:22:57,880 --> 00:22:59,260 Hi, Ms. Philips. 344 00:23:00,330 --> 00:23:02,300 Is Rose home? 345 00:23:05,858 --> 00:23:08,447 Thomas, this might not be a great time. 346 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:10,560 You better go now, honey. 347 00:23:12,260 --> 00:23:13,860 I'll tell Rose you were here. 348 00:23:18,326 --> 00:23:19,787 _ 349 00:23:22,895 --> 00:23:24,420 Well, well, well. 350 00:23:27,060 --> 00:23:28,920 What do we have here? 351 00:23:30,057 --> 00:23:31,947 Something I can help you with stud? 352 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:33,840 Nah, I was, I was just... 353 00:23:34,100 --> 00:23:35,802 seeing if Rose was... 354 00:23:35,828 --> 00:23:37,245 That's a nice knife. 355 00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:39,840 A Rambo? 356 00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:43,020 The fish hooks and wire saw... 357 00:23:43,820 --> 00:23:45,540 matches the shit in the handle? 358 00:23:47,608 --> 00:23:50,233 None of them matches. I used them already. 359 00:23:52,500 --> 00:23:54,660 You know, it's one thing to have a knife, 360 00:23:56,503 --> 00:23:59,893 it's all another thing to know how to use it. 361 00:24:09,660 --> 00:24:11,240 ?? 362 00:24:11,780 --> 00:24:13,140 Kill. 363 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:15,240 Kill. 364 00:24:17,373 --> 00:24:19,913 Cut those arteries, it's over fast. 365 00:24:23,859 --> 00:24:25,109 Right here... 366 00:24:25,992 --> 00:24:28,074 that's how you make a man suffer. 367 00:24:29,630 --> 00:24:31,640 Twist it right in there. 368 00:24:32,999 --> 00:24:34,021 Oh yeah. 369 00:24:34,715 --> 00:24:37,238 He'll bleed out real slow. 370 00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:39,220 I saw it myself. 371 00:24:39,690 --> 00:24:41,300 I killed?? Once. 372 00:24:47,985 --> 00:24:49,035 That's right. 373 00:24:50,467 --> 00:24:52,969 There's only one rooster at this end of the house. 374 00:24:56,953 --> 00:24:58,233 Get your ass and go. 375 00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:04,200 And Rambo? 376 00:25:06,010 --> 00:25:07,440 Stay away from Rose. 377 00:25:13,450 --> 00:25:14,954 Meatloaf is on the table. 378 00:25:14,980 --> 00:25:15,920 Beer. 379 00:25:42,519 --> 00:25:43,600 It's cold. 380 00:25:44,938 --> 00:25:48,508 Is there anything more disgusting than cold meatloaf? 381 00:25:48,860 --> 00:25:51,114 Why don't you pour me a can of Alpo. 382 00:25:51,140 --> 00:25:53,384 I'm sorry. I thought you'll be in earlier. 383 00:25:53,410 --> 00:25:56,314 Yeah, well. I was out there all day 384 00:25:56,340 --> 00:25:59,760 trying to find work to support this family. 385 00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:01,974 You were out at a?? Rally drinking. 386 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,020 - Rose. - That's what you were doing. 387 00:26:20,506 --> 00:26:21,696 Give it back! 388 00:26:23,250 --> 00:26:25,100 Oh, Rose. 389 00:26:25,934 --> 00:26:28,540 You know how much this upsets your mother. 390 00:26:30,700 --> 00:26:33,800 You know this is the nonsense that killed your dad, right? 391 00:26:34,930 --> 00:26:36,223 Trash. 392 00:26:36,780 --> 00:26:39,500 Right where it belongs. Sit down. 393 00:26:45,722 --> 00:26:47,423 You didn't have to do that. 394 00:26:53,180 --> 00:26:54,140 You know what? 395 00:26:56,820 --> 00:26:57,920 Fuck this. 396 00:26:58,780 --> 00:27:00,700 I was just trying to help. 397 00:27:01,900 --> 00:27:03,160 Shit. 398 00:27:04,056 --> 00:27:06,647 I'll go work on my fucking truck. 399 00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:21,040 Why did you put up with him, Mom? 400 00:27:21,100 --> 00:27:22,560 After your father died... 401 00:27:23,180 --> 00:27:25,184 he made sure we were okay. 402 00:27:25,210 --> 00:27:25,980 No, mom. 403 00:27:26,310 --> 00:27:28,280 He just took advantage of you. 404 00:27:28,802 --> 00:27:30,160 Can't you see that? 405 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:33,400 He only started coming around when daddy's insurance's paid up. 406 00:27:33,966 --> 00:27:35,885 I'm surprised he's still here, 407 00:27:36,209 --> 00:27:37,997 now that the money is gone. 408 00:27:39,890 --> 00:27:42,660 Joseph, please go outside and play. 409 00:27:48,997 --> 00:27:50,981 _ 410 00:27:56,140 --> 00:27:57,280 Your dad... 411 00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:00,481 Your dad came home one day spouting off 412 00:28:00,508 --> 00:28:02,443 about that thing in the lake. 413 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:06,185 He spent his life chasing it. 414 00:28:06,212 --> 00:28:08,826 Everyone in town thought he was crazy. 415 00:28:11,360 --> 00:28:14,708 He spent all his time and our money. 416 00:28:14,742 --> 00:28:16,202 For what? 417 00:28:17,490 --> 00:28:19,280 He forgot about us, Rose. 418 00:28:19,780 --> 00:28:21,420 He forgot about you. 419 00:28:21,980 --> 00:28:23,640 And where did it get him. 420 00:28:29,726 --> 00:28:31,546 At the bottom of the lake. 421 00:28:36,833 --> 00:28:37,927 You know... 422 00:28:38,325 --> 00:28:41,780 Dad didn't care if the whole town believed him or not. 423 00:28:43,020 --> 00:28:47,120 He went out there every night because he just wanted you to believe. 424 00:29:00,580 --> 00:29:01,760 Rose! 425 00:29:08,182 --> 00:29:09,142 Rose. 426 00:29:09,590 --> 00:29:11,019 Rose, is everything okay? 427 00:29:19,590 --> 00:29:20,550 Rose! 428 00:29:21,300 --> 00:29:22,590 Rose, wait up! 429 00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:24,920 Just leave me alone. 430 00:29:28,835 --> 00:29:29,995 Rose! 431 00:29:31,180 --> 00:29:32,320 Rose! 432 00:29:41,922 --> 00:29:42,792 Rose. 433 00:29:44,134 --> 00:29:45,581 Rose, you're bleeding. 434 00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:49,880 Where the hell did that come from? 435 00:29:51,276 --> 00:29:53,054 That's weird. 436 00:29:54,500 --> 00:29:56,860 - I don't know... - Rose! 437 00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:00,620 What is that? 438 00:30:07,980 --> 00:30:09,060 Weird. 439 00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:16,700 - Rose? - What? 440 00:30:17,732 --> 00:30:18,980 What's the matter? 441 00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:21,560 Oh my god. 442 00:30:21,860 --> 00:30:23,020 Rose, what? 443 00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:26,860 What is that? 444 00:30:28,925 --> 00:30:29,805 It... 445 00:30:34,949 --> 00:30:36,662 It looks like some sort of 446 00:30:36,943 --> 00:30:38,341 messed up whale. 447 00:30:41,889 --> 00:30:43,460 That's no whale. 448 00:30:45,193 --> 00:30:46,400 He was right. 449 00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:49,080 Who was right? 450 00:30:49,230 --> 00:30:51,540 My dad. He was right, all along. 451 00:30:52,870 --> 00:30:55,080 Look, it's her. 452 00:30:55,580 --> 00:30:56,580 You see? 453 00:30:58,480 --> 00:30:59,880 It's really Champ. 454 00:31:02,904 --> 00:31:04,580 No, no, Rose. 455 00:31:05,380 --> 00:31:06,820 Champy was just... 456 00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:09,480 made up to sell T-shirts. 457 00:31:09,530 --> 00:31:11,334 It's smaller than my dad thought, 458 00:31:12,020 --> 00:31:13,820 but it's definitely Champ. 459 00:31:16,157 --> 00:31:17,662 Is it sleeping? 460 00:31:18,980 --> 00:31:19,980 No. 461 00:31:21,260 --> 00:31:23,120 I think she's dead, Joey. 462 00:31:28,312 --> 00:31:30,692 I think she is some sort of dinosaur. 463 00:31:31,814 --> 00:31:33,340 A real dinosaur? 464 00:31:40,201 --> 00:31:42,249 I think this is what killed the poor thing. 465 00:31:43,270 --> 00:31:44,760 Come here. It's okay. 466 00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:48,880 Look. 467 00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:53,134 This is Champy. This is what dad was looking for. 468 00:31:53,167 --> 00:31:56,267 - All of those years. - Holy shit. 469 00:31:57,400 --> 00:32:00,440 Rose, you know what this means, right? 470 00:32:01,621 --> 00:32:03,028 You're going to be famous. 471 00:32:05,517 --> 00:32:06,365 No. 472 00:32:06,635 --> 00:32:08,406 My dad found her first. 473 00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:10,080 I want everyone to know that. 474 00:32:10,650 --> 00:32:13,880 We just came along. I want him to get the credit for this. 475 00:32:22,591 --> 00:32:24,144 Go and get mom, okay? 476 00:32:24,340 --> 00:32:27,540 Follow the edge of the water until you get to the path, and hurry. 477 00:32:36,020 --> 00:32:39,660 People have been looking for Champy for decades. 478 00:32:39,820 --> 00:32:41,780 They never found a single thing. 479 00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:45,080 I need to document this. 480 00:32:45,107 --> 00:32:46,562 Dad would have. 481 00:32:47,098 --> 00:32:48,127 Smile. 482 00:33:00,300 --> 00:33:03,220 Mama, mama, we found Champy! 483 00:33:04,274 --> 00:33:05,520 Come quickly! 484 00:33:08,849 --> 00:33:10,149 Rambo. 485 00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:17,380 One morning, my dad goes fishing 486 00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:20,260 ignoring all the fog warnings. 487 00:33:20,771 --> 00:33:22,121 Doesn't come home. 488 00:33:23,014 --> 00:33:25,314 Mom calls the cops. 489 00:33:26,420 --> 00:33:28,050 They can't do damn anything. 490 00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:33,380 Next morning, when the mist finally breaks, 491 00:33:35,339 --> 00:33:36,460 I find him. 492 00:33:38,490 --> 00:33:42,120 Washed up on the beach, unconscious. 493 00:33:43,504 --> 00:33:45,804 When he finally comes to, he... 494 00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:48,660 looks at us like... 495 00:33:50,500 --> 00:33:54,640 like we're strangers. Doesn't say anything for days. 496 00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:58,420 Then one night at dinner, 497 00:33:59,580 --> 00:34:01,240 he says his first word. 498 00:34:02,784 --> 00:34:03,880 What was that? 499 00:34:05,410 --> 00:34:06,420 Champ. 500 00:34:06,940 --> 00:34:08,900 He says Champy is real. 501 00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:12,440 He tells mom. 502 00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:14,900 They argue. 503 00:34:15,290 --> 00:34:17,560 She begs him not to say things that 504 00:34:17,740 --> 00:34:20,040 people will beginning to think he is crazy. 505 00:34:23,270 --> 00:34:25,320 He loses everything. 506 00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:29,140 He goes out, night after night, looking 507 00:34:29,724 --> 00:34:30,980 and searching. 508 00:34:32,350 --> 00:34:33,720 Until one morning... 509 00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:37,080 he's washed up on the beach again. 510 00:34:40,300 --> 00:34:41,640 Only this time... 511 00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:48,040 I'm sorry. 512 00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:53,680 Stay here. 513 00:34:55,537 --> 00:34:56,984 Got a really dumb idea. 514 00:35:07,768 --> 00:35:08,901 Can I look now? 515 00:35:10,753 --> 00:35:11,740 Not yet. 516 00:35:14,460 --> 00:35:15,600 Better hurry. 517 00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:24,940 Thomas. 518 00:35:26,140 --> 00:35:27,560 - What? - It's for your father. 519 00:35:27,900 --> 00:35:29,480 Now, nobody can take credit for this. 520 00:35:30,050 --> 00:35:31,260 It's great. 521 00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:35,520 It's great. 522 00:35:36,190 --> 00:35:38,000 Take a picture. We'll... 523 00:35:38,977 --> 00:35:41,597 get your dad's name in the National Geographic or something. 524 00:35:43,494 --> 00:35:44,818 Say cheese, Champ. 525 00:36:08,900 --> 00:36:09,860 Chet? 526 00:36:10,698 --> 00:36:12,378 What the fuck? 527 00:36:15,930 --> 00:36:17,400 What are you doing down here? 528 00:36:17,545 --> 00:36:19,377 Holy shit. 529 00:36:19,460 --> 00:36:21,534 - Stay away from it. - Would you look at this. 530 00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:22,420 Get away. 531 00:36:26,559 --> 00:36:29,245 Guess you daddy wasn't out of his mind after all. 532 00:36:31,830 --> 00:36:33,268 Bless his heart. 533 00:36:37,140 --> 00:36:40,055 All those years, all those money spent, 534 00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:43,520 looking for this disgusting thing. 535 00:36:44,961 --> 00:36:47,249 It's too bad he didn't pack his snorkel. 536 00:36:50,090 --> 00:36:52,860 But I bet he is looking down right now from heaven. 537 00:36:53,447 --> 00:36:56,647 Glad as all hell Chet's gonna finish the job. 538 00:36:56,740 --> 00:36:58,224 What are you talking about? 539 00:36:58,250 --> 00:37:01,194 We found it, not you. My dad's gonna get the credit for this. 540 00:37:01,220 --> 00:37:02,680 Girl, your daddy is dead. 541 00:37:04,357 --> 00:37:06,197 I don't see how that's actually gonna happen. 542 00:37:06,550 --> 00:37:08,840 As far as I'm concern, this is my ticket. 543 00:37:09,420 --> 00:37:13,134 I've put up with enough shit from you dumb-ass mom and you idiot kids. 544 00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:14,382 This thing... 545 00:37:15,126 --> 00:37:16,946 is going to make me rich, 546 00:37:17,450 --> 00:37:20,490 while people will pay through the teeth to see it. 547 00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:24,160 To see what I discovered. 548 00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:31,380 - Oh, ain't that sweet. - Give it back. 549 00:37:33,150 --> 00:37:34,620 - But, it's got to go. - No. 550 00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:36,060 No, you should stop. 551 00:37:41,170 --> 00:37:43,460 - You watch your step, boy. - No, stop. 552 00:37:44,910 --> 00:37:46,960 Rose found that, not you. 553 00:37:47,569 --> 00:37:50,576 You better shut you pie-hole before I skin you too. 554 00:37:51,837 --> 00:37:53,076 Come on. 555 00:37:53,188 --> 00:37:55,144 I'll cut your head square off that neck. 556 00:37:55,170 --> 00:37:57,354 Chet stop. Leave him alone. 557 00:37:57,381 --> 00:37:58,871 Oh, you want a fight? 558 00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:00,440 Is that it? 559 00:38:02,079 --> 00:38:03,850 Why don't we make it interesting? 560 00:38:06,930 --> 00:38:07,920 Thomas. 561 00:38:08,858 --> 00:38:09,817 Come on. 562 00:38:11,077 --> 00:38:12,443 Pick it up, Rambo. 563 00:38:13,940 --> 00:38:15,288 Don't do it, Thomas. 564 00:38:15,620 --> 00:38:16,860 Don't play his game. 565 00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:21,780 Thomas, please don't. 566 00:38:26,284 --> 00:38:27,344 Watch out! 567 00:38:43,965 --> 00:38:45,699 Now, I'm gonna lay out some hurt. 568 00:38:48,675 --> 00:38:49,857 There's a dinosaur. 569 00:38:49,883 --> 00:38:51,208 - What? - Daddy was right. 570 00:38:51,234 --> 00:38:54,060 - What are you taking about? - I saw it, mama. 571 00:38:55,558 --> 00:38:58,095 - Where are Thomas and Rose? - Over there. 572 00:39:00,262 --> 00:39:01,481 Chet... 573 00:39:03,483 --> 00:39:05,895 Rose... Okay, come on. 574 00:39:10,199 --> 00:39:11,399 You bit me. 575 00:39:11,788 --> 00:39:14,050 You fucking bit me, you little bitch. 576 00:39:19,209 --> 00:39:21,249 You two little shits are in for it now. 577 00:39:21,276 --> 00:39:23,116 - Run Rose, go. - I'm not leaving you. 578 00:39:23,339 --> 00:39:24,584 Oh yeah? 579 00:39:24,610 --> 00:39:26,578 I am going to curve you up so small, 580 00:39:26,596 --> 00:39:28,297 fish are going to have a feast. 581 00:39:49,778 --> 00:39:51,864 - Rose, come on. - Wait. 582 00:40:39,934 --> 00:40:41,586 No, no wait. 583 00:40:41,613 --> 00:40:43,260 Rose, don't. 584 00:40:53,628 --> 00:40:56,041 But no one will ever believe us now. 585 00:41:01,660 --> 00:41:04,160 Rose! Thomas! 586 00:41:07,460 --> 00:41:08,780 What happened? 587 00:41:08,931 --> 00:41:12,024 Joey was making any sense, then I heard Chet screamed. 588 00:41:12,050 --> 00:41:13,220 Champ was here. 589 00:41:13,740 --> 00:41:14,937 Dad was right. 590 00:41:15,015 --> 00:41:17,106 It was her, and we all saw her. 591 00:41:18,322 --> 00:41:19,937 Champ, the lake monster? 592 00:41:19,964 --> 00:41:20,875 Yeah. 593 00:41:21,720 --> 00:41:24,300 Dad was right. She does exist. 594 00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:28,714 - She was right here, mama. - Ms. Philips, she, she was here. 595 00:41:28,740 --> 00:41:30,880 Chet was coming after me and Thomas with a knife, 596 00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:33,020 and, and she saved us. 597 00:41:35,026 --> 00:41:37,626 - There's nothing here, Rose. - She was here, mama. 598 00:41:37,720 --> 00:41:39,354 - We saw her. - Dad was right. 599 00:41:39,380 --> 00:41:42,200 - Ms. Philips, she was here. - Where'd Champ go, Rose? 600 00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:43,880 Don't you believe us? 601 00:41:56,869 --> 00:41:57,792 Mom? 602 00:42:02,158 --> 00:42:05,745 Maybe your dad wasn't as crazy as everyone thought he was, huh? 603 00:42:13,081 --> 00:42:14,166 Come on. 604 00:42:16,524 --> 00:42:17,886 Let's go home. 605 00:42:49,636 --> 00:42:51,839 _ 606 00:42:51,866 --> 00:42:54,068 _ 607 00:42:56,261 --> 00:42:59,055 _ 608 00:42:59,344 --> 00:43:04,469 Unofficial subtitles, by: manybuddies.