1
00:00:00,661 --> 00:00:03,382
No, Margaret, I want you to triple check

2
00:00:03,407 --> 00:00:05,327
with the compliance officer about that.

3
00:00:05,352 --> 00:00:07,350
- What are you doing?
- I'm working on a little something.

4
00:00:07,355 --> 00:00:08,976
You know how when
you're making pancakes,

5
00:00:09,001 --> 00:00:10,432
- your hands are always full?
- No.

6
00:00:10,457 --> 00:00:12,057
Well, this'll solve that.

7
00:00:13,337 --> 00:00:14,670
Did you take the batteries

8
00:00:14,695 --> 00:00:16,094
out of the smoke detector for this?

9
00:00:16,240 --> 00:00:17,840
No, no, still here. Still here.

10
00:00:17,865 --> 00:00:19,459
Yeah, no, I want to read
the investor statement

11
00:00:19,484 --> 00:00:20,399
this afternoon,

12
00:00:20,401 --> 00:00:21,959
but, Dom, you're gonna
have to resend it.

13
00:00:21,984 --> 00:00:23,412
You accidentally e-mailed me

14
00:00:23,437 --> 00:00:25,047
the first chapter of your novel,

15
00:00:25,072 --> 00:00:26,849
and just a tiny little note,

16
00:00:26,874 --> 00:00:29,241
maybe not all bosoms are heaving.

17
00:00:29,343 --> 00:00:30,739
Thanks, guys.

18
00:00:31,895 --> 00:00:34,304
Work call on a Saturday morning?
What's going on?

19
00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:36,436
Honey.

20
00:00:36,833 --> 00:00:38,127
You probably don't want to
get into this right now,

21
00:00:38,152 --> 00:00:40,886
but is this a bald spot or
the center of your swirl?

22
00:00:42,299 --> 00:00:44,566
My job has been miserable.

23
00:00:44,591 --> 00:00:46,868
I'm always working, I never sleep,

24
00:00:46,893 --> 00:00:49,027
and all I do is clean
up other people's messes

25
00:00:49,062 --> 00:00:51,596
because I'm the only adult in the room.

26
00:00:51,775 --> 00:00:52,941
Oh, my God.

27
00:00:52,966 --> 00:00:56,401
I'm a mom again,
but to people I don't love.

28
00:00:56,907 --> 00:00:57,939
Sweetheart, listen.

29
00:00:58,041 --> 00:00:59,240
For years, you supported me

30
00:00:59,265 --> 00:01:02,178
while I juggled realtoring and...
and juggling.

31
00:01:02,203 --> 00:01:03,745
And now it's my turn to support you.

32
00:01:03,847 --> 00:01:06,047
Anything that's not work, I'm your guy.

33
00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:07,433
Oh, God!

34
00:01:14,281 --> 00:01:19,546
credits

35
00:01:19,950 --> 00:01:22,633
Hey, look at you guys. So playful.

36
00:01:22,900 --> 00:01:24,833
When I get married, I hope my wife and I

37
00:01:24,858 --> 00:01:26,557
never lose that sense of whimsy.

38
00:01:26,613 --> 00:01:27,712
- Thank you, Luke.
- What do you want?

39
00:01:27,737 --> 00:01:28,937
Okay, here's the deal.

40
00:01:28,962 --> 00:01:30,148
My buddy Scooter and I

41
00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:31,773
came up with this really
cool business idea.

42
00:01:31,841 --> 00:01:33,007
We think it's gonna be huge.

43
00:01:33,032 --> 00:01:34,476
That's great, pal!

44
00:01:34,501 --> 00:01:35,896
We are so proud of you.

45
00:01:35,921 --> 00:01:38,069
- Get to the bad part.
- There is no bad part.

46
00:01:38,248 --> 00:01:40,415
Actually, you guys are gonna make money.

47
00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:42,039
Because I have to drop
out of school to do it.

48
00:01:42,696 --> 00:01:43,875
You're not dropping out of school.

49
00:01:43,900 --> 00:01:44,932
- Honey...
- No.

50
00:01:44,957 --> 00:01:46,056
...I... I got this.

51
00:01:46,179 --> 00:01:47,311
But we should've seen it coming.

52
00:01:47,336 --> 00:01:48,656
After all, his dad is the creator

53
00:01:48,681 --> 00:01:51,369
of the Hey Batter, Batter.

54
00:01:51,394 --> 00:01:52,560
The name's a placeholder.

55
00:01:52,585 --> 00:01:53,973
But probably still available.

56
00:01:53,998 --> 00:01:56,498
Dad, I want you to know I
love your pancake shooter.

57
00:01:56,523 --> 00:02:01,234
Have you seen the updates... to...

58
00:02:01,928 --> 00:02:03,742
the Insta-Cold straw?

59
00:02:03,963 --> 00:02:05,296
You should be on a stamp.

60
00:02:05,365 --> 00:02:07,609
Has that ever not electrocuted someone?

61
00:02:07,634 --> 00:02:09,721
Sometimes you have to shock a few people

62
00:02:09,746 --> 00:02:11,112
before you shock the world.

63
00:02:11,137 --> 00:02:12,947
- Huh.
- That should go on your stamp.

64
00:02:12,972 --> 00:02:14,980
Okay, stop flattering your dad.

65
00:02:15,015 --> 00:02:16,195
You're not dropping out of school.

66
00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:17,553
You're almost done!

67
00:02:17,578 --> 00:02:19,053
And more importantly,

68
00:02:19,078 --> 00:02:20,699
we don't quit things in this family.

69
00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:21,923
Haley quit college.

70
00:02:22,025 --> 00:02:24,025
And Alex quit her job in Antarctica.

71
00:02:24,050 --> 00:02:26,083
And Dad has never finished a Sudoku.

72
00:02:26,306 --> 00:02:27,472
They are hard.

73
00:02:27,497 --> 00:02:28,863
Mom, this isn't some goof.

74
00:02:28,965 --> 00:02:31,032
Scooter and I really
believe in this idea.

75
00:02:31,134 --> 00:02:32,233
Can we at least show you

76
00:02:32,258 --> 00:02:33,858
in the investor
presentation this afternoon?

77
00:02:33,883 --> 00:02:35,359
We'd love to hear it, wouldn't we?

78
00:02:35,504 --> 00:02:37,071
Of course.

79
00:02:37,096 --> 00:02:39,140
Yes! You guys
aren't gonna be disappointed.

80
00:02:39,165 --> 00:02:40,464
I'm gonna call Scooter now.

81
00:02:42,101 --> 00:02:43,882
He's not dropping out of school.

82
00:02:43,917 --> 00:02:46,107
You have got to listen
with an open mind.

83
00:02:46,142 --> 00:02:47,782
After all,
what kind of world would we live in

84
00:02:47,807 --> 00:02:49,384
if all parents forced their
kids to stay in school

85
00:02:49,409 --> 00:02:50,670
and not pursue their dreams?

86
00:02:50,695 --> 00:02:54,478
No Steve Jobs, no Mark Zuckerberg,
no Cindy Crawford.

87
00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:57,046
Steve Jobs put a computer
in everyone's pocket.

88
00:02:57,071 --> 00:02:59,804
Luke almost died taking off
a hoodie on an escalator.

89
00:02:59,829 --> 00:03:02,651
My point is, dreams need to be fostered.

90
00:03:02,676 --> 00:03:04,075
And if I'm being honest,

91
00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:05,907
I kind of love the
idea of being a mentor

92
00:03:05,932 --> 00:03:07,593
to these two young minds.

93
00:03:08,757 --> 00:03:09,734
Wooden spoon!

94
00:03:09,759 --> 00:03:12,164
Knock it away with a wooden spoon!

95
00:03:12,219 --> 00:03:13,485
Thank you.

96
00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:18,088
Oh, this is amazing!

97
00:03:18,090 --> 00:03:19,156
- Oh, my God.
- Oh.

98
00:03:19,158 --> 00:03:20,491
Daddy so walks like that!

99
00:03:21,748 --> 00:03:23,492
Why are you guys laughing?

100
00:03:23,917 --> 00:03:25,016
We... We were happy?

101
00:03:25,041 --> 00:03:26,273
Since when?

102
00:03:26,375 --> 00:03:27,819
Were you watching that video again?

103
00:03:27,844 --> 00:03:29,910
Recently, the high school dolphin mascot

104
00:03:29,935 --> 00:03:32,580
has been, uh,
mocking Cam during football games.

105
00:03:32,682 --> 00:03:34,915
He's...
and I don't use this word lightly...

106
00:03:34,940 --> 00:03:36,573
a genius.

107
00:03:36,715 --> 00:03:39,148
How about we get our heads in the game?!

108
00:03:44,227 --> 00:03:45,493
Rick, you're gonna be streaking through.

109
00:03:45,518 --> 00:03:47,859
So it's gonna be boom, boom. You got it?

110
00:03:49,198 --> 00:03:50,831
I'm surprised you can't see the humor

111
00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:52,489
in what the mascot is doing.

112
00:03:52,634 --> 00:03:54,101
Isn't it a lot like clowning?

113
00:03:54,126 --> 00:03:56,046
- What did you just say?
- Are you insane?

114
00:03:56,071 --> 00:03:58,182
Mascot-ing is nothing like clowning!

115
00:03:58,207 --> 00:04:00,574
Clowns are descendants
of the court jester,

116
00:04:00,599 --> 00:04:02,599
truth-teller to the king.

117
00:04:02,779 --> 00:04:04,979
Mascots know nothing
of veritas and beauty.

118
00:04:05,004 --> 00:04:07,114
Don't you just make wiener
dogs out of balloons?

119
00:04:07,139 --> 00:04:09,573
You are just jealous
because no kid ever said,

120
00:04:09,642 --> 00:04:11,152
"Hey, Mom, this year for my birthday,

121
00:04:11,177 --> 00:04:12,576
can we get a narc?"

122
00:04:12,755 --> 00:04:14,088
Okay, look, I'm... I'm sorry.

123
00:04:14,113 --> 00:04:16,445
I'm just stressed out.
This mascot is under my skin!

124
00:04:17,126 --> 00:04:19,493
I can't have him making
me look like a fool today.

125
00:04:19,518 --> 00:04:20,695
I just found out a recruiter

126
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,352
from the University of
North Central Missouri

127
00:04:22,377 --> 00:04:24,031
is coming to watch me coach.

128
00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:25,255
A recruiter?

129
00:04:25,357 --> 00:04:27,044
Did you apply for a job in Missouri?

130
00:04:27,069 --> 00:04:28,269
I just said I was available.

131
00:04:28,294 --> 00:04:30,127
W-Without consulting me?

132
00:04:30,155 --> 00:04:31,272
Well, you always said you were okay

133
00:04:31,297 --> 00:04:32,940
with moving back to
Missouri at some point,

134
00:04:32,965 --> 00:04:35,176
turning our little family
into a "farmily."

135
00:04:35,201 --> 00:04:36,266
You know I hate that word.

136
00:04:36,268 --> 00:04:37,555
Why? It's descriptive and fun.

137
00:04:37,580 --> 00:04:39,046
And you know what?
Look, if I got this job,

138
00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:42,740
I would be the first openly gay
college football coach in history,

139
00:04:42,765 --> 00:04:45,519
and I would think you'd support that.

140
00:04:45,621 --> 00:04:47,621
And I would think that you would ask me

141
00:04:47,646 --> 00:04:49,919
before uprooting our whole farmily...

142
00:04:49,954 --> 00:04:51,047
Gah.

143
00:04:51,323 --> 00:04:52,922
Damn it, it's in there now!

144
00:04:56,475 --> 00:04:57,631
- Hi.
- Hi.

145
00:04:57,733 --> 00:04:59,667
Hello, mis niņos.

146
00:04:59,692 --> 00:05:01,068
Thank you so much for
watching the babies

147
00:05:01,093 --> 00:05:02,203
for a few hours.

148
00:05:02,228 --> 00:05:04,015
If you have trouble telling them apart,

149
00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:05,306
just take off their diapers.

150
00:05:05,331 --> 00:05:06,841
I wrote George's name inside his.

151
00:05:06,866 --> 00:05:08,486
There's my great-grandchildren.

152
00:05:08,511 --> 00:05:09,543
Do they recognize faces?

153
00:05:09,568 --> 00:05:11,345
Do I need to start slipping them cash

154
00:05:11,370 --> 00:05:12,813
to let them know who's in charge?

155
00:05:12,838 --> 00:05:15,082
Grandpa, you don't need
to buy their love.

156
00:05:15,261 --> 00:05:16,994
Buy mine, and I'll talk you up.

157
00:05:17,019 --> 00:05:19,186
Are we babysitting?
Should I cancel golf?

158
00:05:19,288 --> 00:05:20,688
No, no, no, no,
I know how important it is

159
00:05:20,713 --> 00:05:22,223
for you and your friends
to complain about

160
00:05:22,248 --> 00:05:24,458
how young people today

161
00:05:24,483 --> 00:05:26,504
are slightly different
than your generation.

162
00:05:26,529 --> 00:05:28,796
Vin Diesel is just Telly Savalas

163
00:05:28,821 --> 00:05:31,841
without the lollipop
and a great catchphrase.

164
00:05:32,173 --> 00:05:35,026
Okay, and you two,
I know how precious alone time is

165
00:05:35,060 --> 00:05:36,480
for new parents,

166
00:05:36,505 --> 00:05:38,005
- so everybody go.
- Bye-bye!

167
00:05:38,030 --> 00:05:40,677
Have a great afternoon!

168
00:05:41,256 --> 00:05:42,610
Okay, mis niņos, Gloria has planned

169
00:05:42,635 --> 00:05:45,202
a very exciting afternoon for you.

170
00:05:46,495 --> 00:05:48,031
Let's see.

171
00:05:48,251 --> 00:05:51,619
Who is ready to reject Satan

172
00:05:51,721 --> 00:05:55,356
and all his empty promises?

173
00:05:55,425 --> 00:05:58,336
Today, I'm having the babies
secretly baptized,

174
00:05:58,361 --> 00:06:01,566
both into Catholicism
and into the crazy things

175
00:06:01,591 --> 00:06:03,320
we do to each other in this family.

176
00:06:04,304 --> 00:06:08,507
- Absolutely not!
- Okay, be reasonable, Tashi.

177
00:06:08,532 --> 00:06:10,165
I... Tonight's a big game for me.

178
00:06:10,190 --> 00:06:12,157
I... I need to project authority,

179
00:06:12,192 --> 00:06:13,925
and your antics undermine me.

180
00:06:14,038 --> 00:06:15,137
Well, buckle up, Coach,

181
00:06:15,162 --> 00:06:17,177
'cause I'm taking it up a giant notch

182
00:06:17,202 --> 00:06:19,074
and taping today's game
for my college apps.

183
00:06:19,099 --> 00:06:20,809
Okay, you're gonna get into college.

184
00:06:20,834 --> 00:06:22,177
You have fantastic grades.

185
00:06:22,202 --> 00:06:25,524
Oh, you're right... an Asian kid
with great grades. That's fresh.

186
00:06:25,549 --> 00:06:26,915
I need to guarantee a spot.

187
00:06:26,940 --> 00:06:28,466
Mascot-ing sets me apart.

188
00:06:28,568 --> 00:06:29,795
Listen, you little punk.

189
00:06:29,820 --> 00:06:30,986
I could suspend you.

190
00:06:31,088 --> 00:06:32,154
How would your fancy colleges

191
00:06:32,179 --> 00:06:34,108
like to see that on your record, huh?

192
00:06:34,623 --> 00:06:36,856
Nice try, but, uh, my free expression

193
00:06:36,891 --> 00:06:38,142
is protected by the Supreme Court ruling

194
00:06:38,177 --> 00:06:39,929
in North Dakota vs. Bandito.

195
00:06:40,094 --> 00:06:43,231
Oh, you... you halftime hacks.

196
00:06:43,256 --> 00:06:45,624
No scruples, no honor.

197
00:06:46,269 --> 00:06:48,007
Is this a clown thing again?

198
00:06:48,032 --> 00:06:49,865
We clowns have more humanity

199
00:06:49,890 --> 00:06:53,288
in one of our whimsically
oversized pinkies,

200
00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:56,147
more than you do in your
entire stinky costume.

201
00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:58,813
You powder-faced elitists,

202
00:06:58,838 --> 00:07:00,915
looking down your red
noses at everybody!

203
00:07:00,940 --> 00:07:03,374
Wipe the pie out of your eyes.

204
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:05,424
The revolution is coming!

205
00:07:08,835 --> 00:07:12,066
- Do we really need to do this on a Saturday?
- I'm sorry.

206
00:07:12,091 --> 00:07:13,257
Nick was supposed to sign these

207
00:07:13,282 --> 00:07:14,725
- before he left for Fiji...
- Mm.

208
00:07:14,750 --> 00:07:16,784
...and people need to get paid.

209
00:07:17,171 --> 00:07:20,097
We don't all live in mansions.

210
00:07:20,122 --> 00:07:22,055
This is hardly a mansion, Margaret.

211
00:07:22,158 --> 00:07:25,192
Whoa, why are we writing
a huge check to a shaman?

212
00:07:25,227 --> 00:07:28,228
Oh, Nick took the interns
on a vision quest.

213
00:07:28,330 --> 00:07:30,197
Well, the female ones.

214
00:07:30,399 --> 00:07:31,531
- Gross.
- Mm.

215
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:33,300
Hey, guys. Scooter's here.

216
00:07:33,368 --> 00:07:34,601
Great.

217
00:07:34,703 --> 00:07:37,190
Can't wait to hear this amazing idea.

218
00:07:37,215 --> 00:07:38,715
Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.

219
00:07:38,740 --> 00:07:40,807
Can we just remember
we're on the same team

220
00:07:40,876 --> 00:07:42,042
and Luke can't drop out of school?

221
00:07:42,077 --> 00:07:43,387
So please don't make me the bad guy.

222
00:07:43,412 --> 00:07:45,545
Honey, they're kids.
I don't want to crush their spirit.

223
00:07:45,647 --> 00:07:46,656
They're just...

224
00:07:46,715 --> 00:07:47,881
They're just looking
for a little guidance.

225
00:07:47,950 --> 00:07:50,483
Oh, we're gonna guide them
right back into college.

226
00:07:50,535 --> 00:07:52,068
Margaret,
this is gonna take a few minutes.

227
00:07:52,137 --> 00:07:53,670
Do you mind hanging here while
we're in the living room?

228
00:07:53,705 --> 00:07:56,906
I'll just wait here in
this other living room.

229
00:07:57,008 --> 00:07:59,442
My God, the waste.

230
00:07:59,904 --> 00:08:02,845
- Hey!
- Mom, Dad, this is Scooter Rivael.

231
00:08:02,914 --> 00:08:05,147
- Phil, Claire, nice to meet you.
- Hi.

232
00:08:05,249 --> 00:08:07,016
Luke said such wonderful things.

233
00:08:07,118 --> 00:08:09,185
Wait. Um, you're... you're Scooter?

234
00:08:09,253 --> 00:08:10,553
I-I was expecting someone younger,

235
00:08:10,622 --> 00:08:13,210
maybe wearing Heelys and a backpack.

236
00:08:14,225 --> 00:08:15,725
Uh, well, my real name's Scott,

237
00:08:15,793 --> 00:08:17,303
but Luke and I met at the club

238
00:08:17,328 --> 00:08:19,280
where everyone calls me Scooter.

239
00:08:19,542 --> 00:08:20,608
Or worse.

240
00:08:21,799 --> 00:08:23,899
So, let's hear this big idea, huh?

241
00:08:23,924 --> 00:08:26,791
Okay. Well, just like we rehearsed it.

242
00:08:27,101 --> 00:08:28,533
You got this, buddy.

243
00:08:30,174 --> 00:08:32,474
Remember when I took nighttime
medicine in the daytime

244
00:08:32,499 --> 00:08:33,999
and fell down the stairs?

245
00:08:34,116 --> 00:08:35,021
- Remember?
- Yeah.

246
00:08:35,046 --> 00:08:37,012
I bent all your fingers
back into their sockets.

247
00:08:37,081 --> 00:08:39,174
Well, I had to go
to three different doctors,

248
00:08:39,199 --> 00:08:41,788
and every one of them made
me fill out the same forms.

249
00:08:41,885 --> 00:08:43,652
Introducing FormFiller Med,

250
00:08:43,798 --> 00:08:45,264
a secure encrypted mobile app

251
00:08:45,289 --> 00:08:47,255
that transfers your
medical and insurance info

252
00:08:47,257 --> 00:08:49,191
to your doctor's office
with a tap of your phone.

253
00:08:49,303 --> 00:08:51,236
No more filling out
the same boring forms

254
00:08:51,261 --> 00:08:52,649
over and over again.

255
00:08:52,674 --> 00:08:54,340
I ran the idea by a couple
old guys at the club,

256
00:08:54,365 --> 00:08:56,960
- and they loved it.
- Yeah, and we weren't even drunk yet.

257
00:08:59,730 --> 00:09:02,597
Alcoholism kills
millions of people a day.

258
00:09:03,567 --> 00:09:04,899
I know what you're thinking...

259
00:09:04,968 --> 00:09:06,468
Will doctors go for this?

260
00:09:06,536 --> 00:09:09,270
We polled over 200 doctors
and medical personnel,

261
00:09:09,339 --> 00:09:12,674
and 93% said that they would
happily pay our monthly fee

262
00:09:12,699 --> 00:09:14,375
to reduce their administrative load.

263
00:09:14,798 --> 00:09:16,030
But don't, uh, doctor's offices

264
00:09:16,132 --> 00:09:17,965
all use, like, different systems?

265
00:09:18,145 --> 00:09:19,310
Great question, Claire.

266
00:09:19,335 --> 00:09:21,156
The top two medical software systems

267
00:09:21,181 --> 00:09:22,614
have 90% market share,

268
00:09:22,639 --> 00:09:24,028
and we're compatible with both.

269
00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:26,373
Wow. And, uh, what do you do, Scooter?

270
00:09:26,398 --> 00:09:27,931
Other than befriend children, I mean.

271
00:09:27,956 --> 00:09:29,523
I'm a venture capitalist.

272
00:09:29,548 --> 00:09:33,190
I've invested in 22 companies
over the last 30 years

273
00:09:33,215 --> 00:09:34,425
and personally led three of them

274
00:09:34,450 --> 00:09:36,083
from initial concept through IPO.

275
00:09:36,108 --> 00:09:37,059
Fascinating.

276
00:09:37,084 --> 00:09:38,350
You ever thought about
starting a business

277
00:09:38,375 --> 00:09:40,638
with, um, I don't know, your...
your own son?

278
00:09:43,025 --> 00:09:44,044
Okay.

279
00:09:44,069 --> 00:09:46,403
Let me show you the device itself.

280
00:09:47,140 --> 00:09:48,739
All a doctor's office has to do

281
00:09:48,764 --> 00:09:50,931
is plug this into the USB slot

282
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,817
of their reception room computer.

283
00:09:54,204 --> 00:09:56,304
A patient opens the app on their phone

284
00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:58,229
and taps it against the device.

285
00:09:58,477 --> 00:10:00,310
And just like that,

286
00:10:00,379 --> 00:10:01,711
all of your encrypted and pertinent

287
00:10:01,780 --> 00:10:03,080
medical and insurance information

288
00:10:03,148 --> 00:10:05,148
is instantly in your doctor's database.

289
00:10:05,261 --> 00:10:06,994
Well, I am so sorry, guys,

290
00:10:07,019 --> 00:10:09,224
but I like filling out medical forms,

291
00:10:09,259 --> 00:10:11,598
and I think there are millions of
hardworking Americans just like me,

292
00:10:11,623 --> 00:10:13,356
so this Shark is out.

293
00:10:13,458 --> 00:10:14,556
Uh, Mom?

294
00:10:14,581 --> 00:10:15,746
Oh, good luck with that one.

295
00:10:15,771 --> 00:10:16,904
She's a lot tougher than me.

296
00:10:16,929 --> 00:10:19,825
Well, it brings me absolutely
no joy to say this.

297
00:10:20,074 --> 00:10:21,541
Luke, I'm impressed.

298
00:10:21,566 --> 00:10:23,366
- But...?
- But nothing.

299
00:10:23,658 --> 00:10:24,620
Do you have any idea

300
00:10:24,645 --> 00:10:26,510
how much I hate filling
out those medical forms?

301
00:10:26,535 --> 00:10:28,602
It seems like you have
really done your homework,

302
00:10:28,627 --> 00:10:32,184
and most importantly,
you got a great partner here.

303
00:10:32,907 --> 00:10:34,096
I say go for it.

304
00:10:34,165 --> 00:10:35,665
- Seriously?
- Mm-hmm.

305
00:10:35,733 --> 00:10:36,999
Psst, Claire?

306
00:10:37,068 --> 00:10:39,235
Um, I have Nick on the phone from Fiji.

307
00:10:39,337 --> 00:10:40,436
We're in the middle of something,
Margaret.

308
00:10:40,538 --> 00:10:43,172
- He says it's an emergency.
- Ugh.

309
00:10:43,274 --> 00:10:44,473
He's on my phone.

310
00:10:44,542 --> 00:10:46,008
It's in the solarium.

311
00:10:46,077 --> 00:10:47,343
It's a bay window, Margaret.

312
00:10:47,445 --> 00:10:48,511
We did it, buddy!

313
00:10:48,580 --> 00:10:50,179
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold on.

314
00:10:50,281 --> 00:10:51,380
It's not settled yet.

315
00:10:51,382 --> 00:10:52,782
Well, I thought we heard a yes.

316
00:10:52,851 --> 00:10:55,284
No, I'm... I'm still having
a conversation with my wife.

317
00:10:55,353 --> 00:10:57,219
Please, make yourself comfortable.

318
00:10:57,255 --> 00:10:59,488
Maybe kick off those rubber-soled shoes

319
00:10:59,557 --> 00:11:02,024
while I grab you an
instantly cold beverage.

320
00:11:02,126 --> 00:11:04,326
"I'm just your husband."
"Oh, your husband?"

321
00:11:04,428 --> 00:11:05,528
"You're gossiping. That's what I do."

322
00:11:05,596 --> 00:11:07,329
Looks like someone had a fight.

323
00:11:07,604 --> 00:11:09,452
Hey, um, Mrs. Pasternack.

324
00:11:09,477 --> 00:11:11,043
Um, was it that obvious?

325
00:11:11,068 --> 00:11:12,868
Eh. I say that to everyone.

326
00:11:12,937 --> 00:11:14,603
More often than not, I'm right.

327
00:11:14,705 --> 00:11:16,738
- Martini?
- No thanks, I'm... I'm good.

328
00:11:16,841 --> 00:11:18,140
No, you're not.

329
00:11:18,609 --> 00:11:19,675
Marriage is hard.

330
00:11:19,777 --> 00:11:21,109
I know!

331
00:11:21,145 --> 00:11:23,879
Everyone's always trying
to change each other.

332
00:11:23,948 --> 00:11:26,114
It's like, I'm an adult film director

333
00:11:26,217 --> 00:11:28,434
who collects Precious Moments Dolls.

334
00:11:28,469 --> 00:11:29,517
Let me be me!

335
00:11:30,688 --> 00:11:31,887
So, what's up with you two?

336
00:11:31,989 --> 00:11:34,756
Uh, Cam started looking
for a job out of state

337
00:11:34,858 --> 00:11:36,058
with... without consulting me.

338
00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:38,482
Don't worry. You'll meet someone else.

339
00:11:38,507 --> 00:11:39,672
No, he wants me to go with him.

340
00:11:39,697 --> 00:11:41,996
Ah, that's the Cam I know.

341
00:11:42,048 --> 00:11:44,115
He's always going on about you.

342
00:11:44,217 --> 00:11:45,350
He is?

343
00:11:45,418 --> 00:11:47,485
Haven't you ever seen his Facebook page?

344
00:11:47,587 --> 00:11:48,987
He's obsessed with you.

345
00:11:49,682 --> 00:11:52,023
"How gorgeous does Mitchell
look in this picture?"

346
00:11:52,699 --> 00:11:56,027
Aww. "Proud to be married to a
man who fights for justice."

347
00:11:56,096 --> 00:11:58,062
Aww. "Mitchell over his cold.

348
00:11:58,131 --> 00:12:00,365
Hope my hubby brings the love tonight."

349
00:12:00,467 --> 00:12:02,534
Ew, my dad liked that. Euch.

350
00:12:02,602 --> 00:12:03,968
All right, Lily,
I'm on my way to the game.

351
00:12:04,070 --> 00:12:05,136
How bad is it?

352
00:12:05,238 --> 00:12:07,138
The dolphin is eviscerating Dad.

353
00:12:08,525 --> 00:12:10,224
Oh! Aah! Aah.

354
00:12:11,094 --> 00:12:13,361
Oh, if it was me,
he would totally do something.

355
00:12:13,470 --> 00:12:15,638
But what?! Ah, just give me a sign!

356
00:12:19,435 --> 00:12:22,070
Is there any way I could
just throw money at it?

357
00:12:24,605 --> 00:12:26,874
Ay. Ay.

358
00:12:27,565 --> 00:12:31,044
_

359
00:12:31,045 --> 00:12:33,739
_

360
00:12:38,254 --> 00:12:39,954
Except for Father Ramirez,

361
00:12:40,022 --> 00:12:41,155
all the priests I asked

362
00:12:41,257 --> 00:12:44,992
were "uncomfortable"
with my secret baptism.

363
00:12:45,061 --> 00:12:48,362
They said it was
"borderline kidnapping,"

364
00:12:48,464 --> 00:12:51,320
that they found my trickery "devilish."

365
00:12:51,345 --> 00:12:55,881
It's like, when did Catholics
become so judgmental?

366
00:12:55,929 --> 00:12:58,547
_

367
00:12:58,548 --> 00:13:03,361
_

368
00:13:03,362 --> 00:13:07,507
_

369
00:13:07,508 --> 00:13:14,311
_

370
00:13:14,312 --> 00:13:16,812
_

371
00:13:18,859 --> 00:13:20,620
_

372
00:13:21,147 --> 00:13:25,821
_

373
00:13:28,036 --> 00:13:30,070
Jay, you're back!

374
00:13:30,172 --> 00:13:31,204
Why do you sound surprised?

375
00:13:31,229 --> 00:13:32,439
You cut my brakes or something?

376
00:13:33,675 --> 00:13:35,575
What the hell's a priest doing here?

377
00:13:35,644 --> 00:13:37,577
Oh, it's just a check-up.

378
00:13:37,679 --> 00:13:40,914
One of the babies maybe is... possessed.

379
00:13:41,016 --> 00:13:42,492
Wait, are you baptizing them

380
00:13:42,517 --> 00:13:44,454
behind Haley and what's-his-name's back?

381
00:13:44,486 --> 00:13:46,219
You can't do that to
other people's kids!

382
00:13:46,221 --> 00:13:47,320
It's not a big deal.

383
00:13:47,322 --> 00:13:49,789
If it works, the babies are protected,

384
00:13:49,814 --> 00:13:51,224
their souls are safe,

385
00:13:51,326 --> 00:13:53,336
and they're gonna spend
eternity in Heaven.

386
00:13:53,361 --> 00:13:54,460
If it doesn't,

387
00:13:54,463 --> 00:13:56,196
it's just like I gave
them a little bath.

388
00:13:56,428 --> 00:14:00,722
_

389
00:14:00,869 --> 00:14:03,169
- "Viejo." I know that word.
- Hmm?

390
00:14:03,271 --> 00:14:05,138
Did Father Time here just call me old?

391
00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:06,850
Okay, let's all calm down.

392
00:14:06,952 --> 00:14:09,486
Let's introduce the babies
to the one true God,

393
00:14:09,511 --> 00:14:11,511
then we'll have some coffee cake.

394
00:14:11,580 --> 00:14:12,946
You know you're crossing a line here.

395
00:14:13,048 --> 00:14:15,492
Haley and Dylan doesn't
even have to know.

396
00:14:15,594 --> 00:14:17,194
Know what?

397
00:14:17,219 --> 00:14:18,785
Why is there a priest here?

398
00:14:18,887 --> 00:14:20,954
I told you, Poppy's possessed!

399
00:14:21,056 --> 00:14:22,388
Everybody can see it but you.

400
00:14:24,131 --> 00:14:26,243
Why didn't you just ask us?

401
00:14:26,244 --> 00:14:28,844
_

402
00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:30,414
I did. I did ask you.

403
00:14:30,483 --> 00:14:32,583
You said yes.
I think you were very drunk.

404
00:14:32,729 --> 00:14:34,962
Haley, New-Phil,

405
00:14:34,987 --> 00:14:36,690
do you really want this baptism?

406
00:14:36,872 --> 00:14:39,940
I don't know.
We've barely thought about it.

407
00:14:40,009 --> 00:14:42,909
Dylan did say that he was going
to research some religions.

408
00:14:42,978 --> 00:14:45,512
I'm halfway through this
Jim Jones documentary.

409
00:14:45,581 --> 00:14:47,447
So far, that religion seems pretty cool.

410
00:14:47,549 --> 00:14:49,716
I'm sorry that I didn't ask you before.

411
00:14:49,785 --> 00:14:52,419
I really wanted to do
this for George and Poppy.

412
00:14:52,488 --> 00:14:55,255
Baptism is gonna allow their souls

413
00:14:55,357 --> 00:14:57,257
to find eternal peace.

414
00:14:57,259 --> 00:14:58,291
What's the catch?

415
00:14:58,393 --> 00:15:00,160
Well, there's a lot of donations

416
00:15:00,195 --> 00:15:01,628
and some shame around sex,

417
00:15:01,697 --> 00:15:03,029
but Christmas is fun.

418
00:15:03,131 --> 00:15:05,432
Ugh. I don't even know how I can decide,

419
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:07,801
but I guess it can't hurt.

420
00:15:07,903 --> 00:15:09,035
Yahoo!

421
00:15:09,171 --> 00:15:11,071
You're going to the kingdom of Heaven.

422
00:15:11,173 --> 00:15:13,840
And there,
you're going to join the souls

423
00:15:13,942 --> 00:15:15,241
of some of our greats,

424
00:15:15,343 --> 00:15:17,811
like Joan of Arc, Mother Theresa,

425
00:15:17,913 --> 00:15:20,046
Danny DeVito when he dies.

426
00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:21,681
Go.

427
00:15:21,875 --> 00:15:22,949
Yes.

428
00:15:22,950 --> 00:15:26,950
_

429
00:15:26,988 --> 00:15:29,422
- Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- What now?

430
00:15:29,424 --> 00:15:30,490
Well, I'm sorry.

431
00:15:30,558 --> 00:15:32,291
It just...
It suddenly just got very real,

432
00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:33,993
and it does not feel right,

433
00:15:34,062 --> 00:15:35,228
and I don't know why,

434
00:15:35,330 --> 00:15:36,996
Grandpa, am I making
too much of this? I...

435
00:15:37,098 --> 00:15:39,732
Don't ask him because he
doesn't even believe in God.

436
00:15:39,801 --> 00:15:40,867
I just don't think

437
00:15:40,935 --> 00:15:43,202
you need church,
costumes, all that stuff

438
00:15:43,304 --> 00:15:44,804
to feel a higher power.

439
00:15:45,635 --> 00:15:47,006
But you think there is one?

440
00:15:47,108 --> 00:15:48,907
Yeah, I felt it when my kids were born,

441
00:15:49,010 --> 00:15:50,776
and, um, when I met
this crazy woman here

442
00:15:50,878 --> 00:15:52,845
that I want to spend the
rest of my life with,

443
00:15:52,947 --> 00:15:55,214
but, you know, it can be just
a normal everyday thing, too.

444
00:15:55,282 --> 00:15:56,682
You know, like the way it makes me feel

445
00:15:56,751 --> 00:15:58,951
when I hear a baseball thump into a mitt

446
00:15:59,053 --> 00:16:01,053
or the way Tom Waits' voice

447
00:16:01,122 --> 00:16:04,857
can somehow be ugly and
beautiful at the same time.

448
00:16:04,925 --> 00:16:06,225
Am I making any sense?

449
00:16:06,959 --> 00:16:07,993
You know, last year,

450
00:16:07,995 --> 00:16:09,661
Dylan and I went to Yosemite,

451
00:16:09,763 --> 00:16:11,964
and we woke up really early one morning,

452
00:16:12,066 --> 00:16:14,733
and it was just us and
those gorgeous mountains,

453
00:16:14,835 --> 00:16:18,136
a bunch of huge trees,
and a family of deer.

454
00:16:19,073 --> 00:16:20,639
It was so beautiful,

455
00:16:20,708 --> 00:16:23,175
and it made me feel like I was connected

456
00:16:23,277 --> 00:16:25,544
to something bigger than myself.

457
00:16:25,979 --> 00:16:27,178
You know what, maybe one day

458
00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:28,780
we can get them baptized in a church,

459
00:16:28,882 --> 00:16:30,281
but for now,

460
00:16:30,350 --> 00:16:32,717
why don't we take them up to Yosemite

461
00:16:32,819 --> 00:16:35,587
and look up and say thank you?

462
00:16:37,037 --> 00:16:39,190
That sounds like a great plan, Haley.

463
00:16:39,577 --> 00:16:42,427
Yeah. And maybe roast some
marshmallows while you're there

464
00:16:42,529 --> 00:16:45,263
so that they get used
to being around fire.

465
00:16:45,562 --> 00:16:47,695
No, Nick, you can't keep
taking money from marketing.

466
00:16:47,797 --> 00:16:48,863
They need...

467
00:16:48,965 --> 00:16:49,998
What?

468
00:16:50,066 --> 00:16:51,566
No, I will not stay on the phone

469
00:16:51,668 --> 00:16:53,101
while you moon a cruise ship.

470
00:16:53,103 --> 00:16:54,168
Are you...

471
00:16:54,170 --> 00:16:55,103
- Claire?
- Hang on.

472
00:16:55,171 --> 00:16:57,138
Claire. What was that out there?

473
00:16:57,207 --> 00:16:59,140
I thought we were supposed
to be on the same team.

474
00:16:59,142 --> 00:17:00,508
We are. I...

475
00:17:00,577 --> 00:17:01,676
They've got a great idea.

476
00:17:01,778 --> 00:17:04,345
You're just jealous because
Luke went to Scooter and not to you.

477
00:17:04,347 --> 00:17:05,980
That is not true.

478
00:17:06,082 --> 00:17:07,582
Really? You don't think
they're on to something?

479
00:17:07,684 --> 00:17:09,183
- It's an amazing idea.
- Okay.

480
00:17:09,285 --> 00:17:11,619
But why didn't he come to me?

481
00:17:11,721 --> 00:17:14,388
Because you love everything I do.

482
00:17:14,407 --> 00:17:16,607
I wanted to make sure this
was actually a good idea.

483
00:17:16,709 --> 00:17:18,209
That is so smart.

484
00:17:18,277 --> 00:17:20,211
How is someone this handsome...

485
00:17:20,313 --> 00:17:22,646
Okay, this is what I'm talking about.

486
00:17:22,715 --> 00:17:25,483
I love inventing with you,
but this is a business.

487
00:17:25,585 --> 00:17:27,585
And Scooter has a lot of experience.

488
00:17:27,687 --> 00:17:28,819
That doesn't take away from

489
00:17:28,921 --> 00:17:30,788
all of the things that
we've made together.

490
00:17:30,806 --> 00:17:32,539
All of that stuff brought me here.

491
00:17:32,641 --> 00:17:35,476
- Really?
- You can't spell FormFiller without Phil.

492
00:17:35,578 --> 00:17:37,144
But you know you can, right?

493
00:17:37,213 --> 00:17:38,879
The man's hurting.
I'm throwing him a bone.

494
00:17:38,948 --> 00:17:40,691
I'm proud of you, Luke.

495
00:17:40,816 --> 00:17:43,083
Damn it, I'm proud of Scooter, too.

496
00:17:44,046 --> 00:17:45,085
Wow.

497
00:17:45,287 --> 00:17:47,754
You know, seeing your guys' pitch,

498
00:17:47,856 --> 00:17:51,691
and the... the passion,
that sparkle in your eye,

499
00:17:51,837 --> 00:17:54,805
I... I don't remember the last time

500
00:17:54,830 --> 00:17:56,923
I saw you care about anything that much.

501
00:17:58,400 --> 00:17:59,866
I don't remember the last time I did.

502
00:17:59,935 --> 00:18:01,111
That's super hurtful.

503
00:18:01,136 --> 00:18:03,180
No, sweetie, I'm talking about work.

504
00:18:03,205 --> 00:18:05,806
I... Honestly,
I used to get up in the morning,

505
00:18:05,874 --> 00:18:08,308
and I couldn't wait
to get to the office.

506
00:18:08,487 --> 00:18:10,287
And now I dread it.

507
00:18:10,934 --> 00:18:16,516
I do. I miss
loving my job or even liking it.

508
00:18:16,552 --> 00:18:19,986
Now all I do is put out
fires and manage complaints

509
00:18:20,011 --> 00:18:22,322
and... and lose sleep over stuff

510
00:18:22,347 --> 00:18:25,048
that really doesn't matter.

511
00:18:27,129 --> 00:18:28,995
Yeah. I think I'm...

512
00:18:29,097 --> 00:18:31,398
I think I'm gonna quit my job.

513
00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:32,866
Are you serious?

514
00:18:33,294 --> 00:18:34,367
Yeah.

515
00:18:34,609 --> 00:18:36,175
Is that... Is that crazy?

516
00:18:36,563 --> 00:18:39,472
Uh, no. No, not necessarily.

517
00:18:39,608 --> 00:18:41,207
I mean, crazy is sticking with something

518
00:18:41,259 --> 00:18:43,326
that's been making you
miserable for months

519
00:18:43,428 --> 00:18:45,061
when there are so many
companies out there

520
00:18:45,163 --> 00:18:47,130
who would want someone with your skills.

521
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:49,680
Hey, Nick, you still there?

522
00:18:49,715 --> 00:18:52,168
I told my son this morning
that he should never quit.

523
00:18:52,237 --> 00:18:54,037
Well, I was wrong.

524
00:18:54,105 --> 00:18:55,171
I'm out.

525
00:18:58,509 --> 00:19:00,376
Aah! That felt so good!

526
00:19:00,445 --> 00:19:02,144
It was so scary, but it was so good.

527
00:19:02,246 --> 00:19:04,080
I'm so proud of you, too!

528
00:19:04,115 --> 00:19:06,082
- Ohh!
- Hear, hear!

529
00:19:06,184 --> 00:19:08,117
To our next adventure!

530
00:19:08,219 --> 00:19:10,486
Oh, I found this in the wine cellar.

531
00:19:10,588 --> 00:19:12,455
It's a basement, Margaret.

532
00:19:12,523 --> 00:19:13,756
No, no, close the gap!

533
00:19:13,825 --> 00:19:15,825
Ball, ball, ball, ball, ball!

534
00:19:15,927 --> 00:19:17,069
Oh!

535
00:19:18,463 --> 00:19:19,895
It was a nightmare.

536
00:19:19,997 --> 00:19:22,233
The biggest opportunity of my career,

537
00:19:22,258 --> 00:19:23,724
and I couldn't focus.

538
00:19:23,749 --> 00:19:26,049
I tried not to make
any mockable movements.

539
00:19:27,017 --> 00:19:30,239
David Tashi was just
operating at too high a level.

540
00:19:30,341 --> 00:19:32,274
But then something wonderful happened.

541
00:19:37,601 --> 00:19:38,852
Oh. You hurt me.

542
00:19:39,726 --> 00:19:42,238
That's when I realized
I knew that chicken...

543
00:19:42,263 --> 00:19:43,362
Those weak punches,

544
00:19:43,387 --> 00:19:45,975
a run that said
"Pick me last" in gym class.

545
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,266
It was my Mitchell.

546
00:19:47,291 --> 00:19:49,569
Okay, guys, come on!
Let's huddle up. Huddle up.

547
00:19:49,594 --> 00:19:50,812
Let's get out there and
play our hearts out.

548
00:19:50,837 --> 00:19:52,770
Let's go, let's go! Bring it in!

549
00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:53,996
Pitkowski, come on.

550
00:19:53,998 --> 00:19:55,464
Something more interesting
going on over there?

551
00:19:55,566 --> 00:19:56,575
Yeah, does anybody else

552
00:19:56,634 --> 00:19:58,567
see the dolphin fighting the chicken?

553
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:00,580
'Cause I got hit pretty
hard in the head earlier.

554
00:20:01,472 --> 00:20:02,538
All right, let's go.

555
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:03,873
All right,
so this is what we're gonna do.

556
00:20:03,975 --> 00:20:06,075
We're gonna go up, right,
you're gonna be cutting...

557
00:20:11,273 --> 00:20:12,364
Where's Daddy?

558
00:20:12,389 --> 00:20:14,101
He went to go return
the chicken costume.

559
00:20:14,126 --> 00:20:16,159
That was like two hours ago.

560
00:20:16,184 --> 00:20:17,281
You don't think...

561
00:20:18,436 --> 00:20:20,336
Okay, Mitchell?

562
00:20:20,438 --> 00:20:22,037
Is that you in the mascot costume?

563
00:20:24,642 --> 00:20:26,609
Is someone forcing you to do that?

564
00:20:27,245 --> 00:20:29,378
Okay, then get in the car now.

565
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:30,579
I stayed in California.

566
00:20:30,581 --> 00:20:32,181
I married outside of my religion.

567
00:20:32,250 --> 00:20:35,017
I spend every waking
moment with your family.

568
00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:37,358
But my love is not unconditional.

569
00:20:39,552 --> 00:20:40,632
O-Okay.

570
00:20:41,050 --> 00:20:42,023
Alright.

571
00:20:42,392 --> 00:20:44,234
I love it when they honk for me.

572
00:20:44,259 --> 00:20:50,945
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com