I'm Alyssa.
I'm 19.
And I thought I'd already had the shittest day of my life.
You look like a princess.
But this is actually worse.
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I got community service for what I did,
which wasn't as bad as going back to school.
It's not easy, what comes after something like that.
It's like you become a shit celebrity.
You become someone else.
Even to yourself.
But you can't go back to who you were before.
I think my mum found what happened to me even worse than I did.
... children. Please, Tony! Please don't leave me!
I've kicked Tony out.
She hadn't.
Mum went genuinely a bit mad after that.
She started talking about herself in the third person.
I think Gwen needs a nap.
Okay.
It was too much, us staying there,
in that house, that town.
So we took the twins and left.
It meant missing the end of school, but Mum said that was okay.
You can finish it later. Or get a job.
Or marry someone rich.
Sorry.
We went to live with my aunt, Leigh, Mum's half-sister.
She runs a cafe and she doesn't trust deodorant
because of breast cancer.
I like her.
She said we could stay at her place for as long as we wanted.
He'll come back to me someday!
We've been here over a year now.
I don't think she meant that long.
It's good that Mum has someone else to talk to.
Good for me.
It makes it easier for me to be okay.
And, actually, I am okay.
I don't really feel anything any more.
It's good not feeling.
It's like a superpower.
Leigh gave me a job,
mainly so that I had something to do, I think.
This is what you might call irony.
See if Marvin can make a banana split for me, you fucking cu...
What can I get you?
Is that your real name?
You know it is.
Billy's Leigh's foster son.
It's shit.
He's a sweet kid.
Okay.
Work's boring.
But I did meet Todd there.
Hiya.
He teaches canoeing to kids
and he has quite strong opinions.
You know Finland?
Doesn't actually exist.
It's a fabricated landmass
made up by the Russians in the Cold War.
Right.
Is this a date?
Yeah.
Cool.
He's kind of like a dog.
In a good way.
He's also a really good kisser.
My aunt's got a cabin by the lake.
Cool.
Sex is actually all right, it turned out.
It's not such a big deal.
I told him about everything.
Shit.
Yeah.
Do you like chicken fajitas?
He gets it.
Do you wanna get married?
Yeah, fuck it, why not?
Exactly. Fuck it.
My mum's pretty excited about the wedding.
She's really thrown herself into the whole thing.
- Why are we dong this again? - What, love?
The wedding's tomorrow. It fits.
It fit fine before.
Now...
it's perfect.
Getting married young is one of the most renegade things
you can do these days.
Mum's using Tony's divorce money to pay for it,
which is also pretty maverick.
And I'm happy.
For the first time in ages, I'm really happy.
Getting a bullet in the post should be threatening,
but it's hard to feel frightened
of someone who can't spell your name right.
And clearly doesn't know where you live.
Excuse me.
You thought about killing yourself?
What?
I said, is there service included?
Oh, no, don't worry about it.
- Keep the change. - Thanks.
Do you know whose car that is?
No.
Why?
I dunno.
Nothing.
I used to be really good at knowing when someone was watching me.
But now I'm not sure.
I'm probably just being paranoid.
- I'll be in the office. - Okay.
Oi!
What the fuck?
Who are you?
Oh, my God.
_
It was a fitting end.
A doomed love story.
A perfect tragedy.
And then I didn't die.
I was under 24-hour police surveillance
as I waited for a court date.
Are you gonna eat that?
No.
Do you, er... Do you mind?
No.
Where's Alyssa?
Alyssa and I weren't allowed to see each other.
Not at all.
But I thought about her all the time.
Hello, James. I've got some results to discuss with you.
Would you like your dad?
My dad's response to me being shot was to eat or cry.
Quite often at the same time.
Sorry, James.
No, that's all right.
Fine.
Well...
as you know, James, the inflammation...
The bullet had done quite a lot of damage.
She talked about my injuries,
about complications
and things taking time...
and long roads ahead.
But in many ways, James, you have been extremely lucky.
I didn't feel lucky.
Okay.
I felt like I was being punished.
And maybe I deserved it.
James?
I'd never met Alyssa's mum before.
At first, she seemed quite nice.
How are you?
I'm okay.
- Would you like a yoghurt? - No, thank you.
- How's Alyssa? - You need to break up with her.
What?
The thing is, it's your fault, isn't it?
What happened. I'm sure you didn't mean it,
but you've ruined her life.
You've ruined everything.
Sorry.
What can you offer her...
like... this? No offence.
It was quite hard not to take offence.
Are you going to be able to walk again?
Think so.
And they say you're going to prison. Is that right?
I don't know.
Probably.
If you loved her, you'd let her go.
It's like that song.
I didn't know the song she was talking about,
but I had a feeling she might be right.
I thought you could write her a letter.
I don't want to.
Well, she needs to move on and you're no good for her. I'm...
I'm sorry,
but that's the truth.
The truth was something I'd been trying to ignore.
And the harsher, the better. You know how stubborn she is.
I've got a stamp.
I had a feeling that Alyssa got the letter...
because I never heard from her again.
On the upside,
after a number of operations,
I was able to start learning to walk again.
And I didn't go to prison after all.
Get in!
The jury agreed I was acting in defence of another
and found me not guilty of murder.
The videotape definitely helped.
But I was given a suspended sentence
for various other misdemeanours.
I wanted to give my dad some money for his new car.
But he wouldn't let me.
It's funny, the way people lie to be kind.
I think this is actually nicer to drive.
After I nearly died,
Dad signed up for an online parenting course.
He started talking about his feelings.
I really value us spending time together.
Yeah.
I'm proud of you.
Thank you.
I think we should do more activities together.
Okay.
Bowling did seem slightly ambitious,
given that I'd only recently got the use of my legs back.
This is brilliant, innit?
Yeah!
I did it!
But in the end, it wasn't me I should've worried about.
I never went back inside our house.
I couldn't even walk up the drive.
There was too much sadness in there.
Thank you.
In a strange way,
the bullet gave me a new lease of life.
A reason to see Alyssa again.
To check that she was okay.
To see her again.
Hello?
It's strange,
when someone's very important
and you haven't seen them for a long time,
as soon as you do, it's easier to breathe.
I wanted to go and talk to her.
But then I realised that it was okay if I just watched her.
Watched out for her.
Because you have to be vigilant with people.
And I hadn't been.
Alyssa was my only person left.
Shit. Shit.
Shit, shit, shit.
Shit.
Oi!
Who are you?
Oh, my God.
Hey.
For fuck's sake.
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