1
00:00:14,812 --> 00:00:18,179
The Tegridy Farms
Halloween Special!

2
00:00:28,058 --> 00:00:31,331
The Tegridy farms Halloween
Special, brought to you by...

3
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Tegridy Weed.

4
00:00:33,050 --> 00:00:38,470
credits

5
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*It's the most
wonderful time of the year*

6
00:00:45,119 --> 00:00:47,117
Well?
You all excited, gang?

7
00:00:47,142 --> 00:00:49,001
For Halloween?
I guess so.

8
00:00:49,026 --> 00:00:51,218
This isn't just
any Halloween,

9
00:00:51,243 --> 00:00:55,847
because this week, Tegridy Weed
is doing a Halloween Special.

10
00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:57,724
It's a big
promotional thing.

11
00:00:57,749 --> 00:00:59,231
Everyone's gonna
love it.

12
00:00:59,479 --> 00:01:00,959
Hey, where's Shelly?

13
00:01:01,032 --> 00:01:03,390
Shelly hasn't come out
of her room in two days.

14
00:01:03,415 --> 00:01:04,474
Why?

15
00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:06,652
You know why, Randy.

16
00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:08,551
Yeah.

17
00:01:09,102 --> 00:01:10,556
Yeah.

18
00:01:12,556 --> 00:01:15,480
Hey, Shelly.
Can I talk to you for a minute?

19
00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:17,442
What do you want?

20
00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:19,243
Come on, kiddo.

21
00:01:19,582 --> 00:01:21,801
Come talk with
your old man, huh?

22
00:01:22,115 --> 00:01:23,483
Come on, punk.

23
00:01:25,540 --> 00:01:29,560
Shelly, we need to talk about
your marijuana problem.

24
00:01:30,144 --> 00:01:32,364
You know, what's your
problem with it?

25
00:01:32,876 --> 00:01:34,390
I hate marijuana.

26
00:01:34,415 --> 00:01:36,929
Yes, we all know!
But why?

27
00:01:36,954 --> 00:01:39,184
It stinks, and it makes
everyone in this town

28
00:01:39,209 --> 00:01:40,757
dumber than
they already are.

29
00:01:40,939 --> 00:01:43,571
Shelly, the truth is,
some of the most important

30
00:01:43,596 --> 00:01:45,708
people in the world
smoke weed.

31
00:01:46,009 --> 00:01:49,802
Did you know that Snoop Dogg
smokes weed?

32
00:01:50,245 --> 00:01:53,800
Yes. Everyone knows Snoop Dogg
is a stupid pot head.

33
00:01:53,955 --> 00:01:56,951
Way more people enjoy marijuana
than you think, okay?

34
00:01:57,119 --> 00:01:58,320
Okay, who's your idol?

35
00:01:58,345 --> 00:02:00,669
Who do you most look up to
in the whole world?

36
00:02:01,766 --> 00:02:03,112
Serena Williams.

37
00:02:03,137 --> 00:02:04,205
Total stoner.

38
00:02:04,230 --> 00:02:06,111
High as a kite
every tennis match.

39
00:02:06,252 --> 00:02:07,767
No she's not!

40
00:02:07,854 --> 00:02:09,234
You don't know that,
Shelly.

41
00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:10,774
Now you're just
making assumptions.

42
00:02:10,883 --> 00:02:12,649
Everyone in this country
is getting dumber,

43
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:15,050
and I wish marijuana
was illegal again!

44
00:02:15,371 --> 00:02:16,863
Shelly!

45
00:02:17,993 --> 00:02:19,641
Okay, look,
the thing is,

46
00:02:19,666 --> 00:02:21,781
this problem you're having
with marijuana

47
00:02:21,868 --> 00:02:23,783
it's just got to stop, okay.

48
00:02:23,870 --> 00:02:27,152
We're working on our Tegridy
Farms Halloween Special, okay?

49
00:02:27,239 --> 00:02:29,321
Nobody wants a giant bummer
ruining it.

50
00:02:29,408 --> 00:02:30,710
I love you.

51
00:02:40,226 --> 00:02:41,445
Whoa. Very impressive.

52
00:02:41,588 --> 00:02:42,922
Indeed.

53
00:02:47,927 --> 00:02:49,604
Find anything good,
Butters?

54
00:02:49,629 --> 00:02:51,736
One minute, dad.
Archaeologist Butters just needs

55
00:02:51,761 --> 00:02:53,996
to get his stamp and sticker
for his artifact book.

56
00:02:58,273 --> 00:03:00,095
Ha ha!
Another rare find.

57
00:03:02,963 --> 00:03:05,108
Well, did you all enjoy
the museum, gang?

58
00:03:05,142 --> 00:03:06,559
Wait. Wait.
We can't leave yet.

59
00:03:06,584 --> 00:03:08,861
I got all the stickers
and stamps except for one.

60
00:03:08,948 --> 00:03:11,030
Well, I'm pretty sure
we saw the whole exhibit.

61
00:03:11,055 --> 00:03:12,892
Can I just check around
one more time?

62
00:03:12,972 --> 00:03:14,625
Alright,
Archaeologist Butters.

63
00:03:14,658 --> 00:03:16,135
But then meet us back
right here.

64
00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:17,539
Okay!

65
00:03:18,890 --> 00:03:21,039
What you are seeing here
are original knots

66
00:03:21,064 --> 00:03:24,013
which were joining the main
pieces of the kufu boat.

67
00:03:24,163 --> 00:03:26,011
The cedar timbers
of the boat's hull

68
00:03:26,036 --> 00:03:27,751
were lashed together
with hemp rope

69
00:03:27,776 --> 00:03:29,485
in a technique used
until the...

70
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,427
Whoa. Whoa.
Wait just one second.

71
00:03:31,624 --> 00:03:33,672
Are you actually saying
that hemp,

72
00:03:33,697 --> 00:03:35,983
a classification
of cannabis,

73
00:03:36,008 --> 00:03:39,191
was actually used by
the ancient Egyptians?

74
00:03:39,340 --> 00:03:41,423
Well, yes.
In fact, it's been found

75
00:03:41,448 --> 00:03:43,262
that cannabis was used
by Egyptians

76
00:03:43,349 --> 00:03:44,830
for its medical
properties, as well.

77
00:03:44,917 --> 00:03:46,866
Hold the
freaking phone.

78
00:03:46,953 --> 00:03:50,269
You're telling us that
marijuana has been used

79
00:03:50,294 --> 00:03:51,733
throughout
the centuries...

80
00:03:51,758 --> 00:03:53,935
Is this why
you brought me here?

81
00:03:54,661 --> 00:03:56,864
No, I... I'm just...
I'm surprised that...

82
00:03:56,889 --> 00:04:00,267
You said you wanted a special
day with just your daughter.

83
00:04:01,095 --> 00:04:03,486
You said a father-daughter day
at the museum

84
00:04:03,511 --> 00:04:05,244
could help
us connect.

85
00:04:05,805 --> 00:04:08,450
And it is, Shelly.
We're having a great time.

86
00:04:08,475 --> 00:04:12,478
I don't care if Egyptians
used stupid pot!

87
00:04:14,947 --> 00:04:16,510
She has a
marijuana problem.

88
00:04:16,535 --> 00:04:17,947
Shelly!

89
00:04:19,154 --> 00:04:21,502
Been there.
Saw that.

90
00:04:21,657 --> 00:04:23,626
Where's that stupid
last sticker-stamp?

91
00:04:25,413 --> 00:04:26,747
What's this?

92
00:04:31,498 --> 00:04:35,748
Sarcophagus and mummified
remains of Egyptian royalty.

93
00:04:35,773 --> 00:04:38,134
This is it!
My last sticker!

94
00:04:39,127 --> 00:04:41,896
That's the mummy
of Took-Tan-ra.

95
00:04:43,193 --> 00:04:46,176
You don't want to put that stamp
in your sticka book.

96
00:04:46,201 --> 00:04:49,625
Nobody puts that stamp
in their sticka book.

97
00:04:50,382 --> 00:04:51,916
But this is
my last one.

98
00:04:52,037 --> 00:04:53,818
It's got a curse on it...

99
00:04:53,968 --> 00:04:56,846
ancient love curse
not fit for any child.

100
00:04:57,151 --> 00:04:59,252
You can look at the mummy
all you like,

101
00:04:59,277 --> 00:05:04,109
but you don't want that stamp
in ya sticka book.

102
00:05:05,874 --> 00:05:07,010
That's okay.

103
00:05:07,035 --> 00:05:08,517
I'm no ordinary child.

104
00:05:08,668 --> 00:05:11,468
I am
Archaeologist Butters.

105
00:05:14,096 --> 00:05:15,877
Happy Halloween,
mister!

106
00:05:16,609 --> 00:05:19,799
Yeah, for some
of us, maybe.

107
00:05:23,216 --> 00:05:26,566
It's just so hard being a parent
sometimes, you know?

108
00:05:26,686 --> 00:05:28,968
I've tried everything
to get through to my daughter.

109
00:05:29,180 --> 00:05:30,619
I took her to
a laser show.

110
00:05:30,644 --> 00:05:32,048
I played her all of
"Dark Side of the Moon."

111
00:05:32,073 --> 00:05:35,047
But it's like... It's like
there's something in her head

112
00:05:35,072 --> 00:05:36,507
that just doesn't
get it.

113
00:05:36,629 --> 00:05:38,511
That's rough, Randy.
I'm sorry.

114
00:05:38,598 --> 00:05:41,213
I just... I have to live my life,
you know?

115
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:45,049
I can't let her problems with
marijuana drag me down anymore.

116
00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:47,086
No, you're right.
You're totally right.

117
00:05:47,174 --> 00:05:51,024
So, anyway, hey, how's the
Halloween Special coming along?

118
00:05:51,210 --> 00:05:53,689
The Halloween Special?
Oh, it's ready.

119
00:05:53,777 --> 00:05:54,957
It's ready?

120
00:05:55,045 --> 00:05:56,986
Yeah.
It's right over here.

121
00:05:58,646 --> 00:06:00,713
Oh, wow!
The Halloween Special!

122
00:06:00,801 --> 00:06:02,312
I'm so excited
to try it!

123
00:06:02,337 --> 00:06:03,938
Yeah, it's basically
a hybrid

124
00:06:03,963 --> 00:06:06,107
of our Tegridy Gold
and Colorado Kush.

125
00:06:06,132 --> 00:06:08,114
Turned out really great,
I think.

126
00:06:09,441 --> 00:06:11,644
Oh, wow.
That is nice.

127
00:06:11,669 --> 00:06:14,452
I'd like to see anyone compete
with this Halloween Special.

128
00:06:29,851 --> 00:06:31,032
Mom?

129
00:06:33,253 --> 00:06:34,247
Dad?

130
00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:53,793
What?

131
00:06:55,603 --> 00:06:56,693
Okay. Oh.

132
00:06:58,092 --> 00:06:59,723
Okay. Okay.

133
00:06:59,914 --> 00:07:02,221
That's okay.
Yeah, that's okay.

134
00:07:02,309 --> 00:07:03,776
There you go.

135
00:07:10,457 --> 00:07:12,299
For me?

136
00:07:12,973 --> 00:07:14,387
Oh. Thank you.

137
00:07:15,110 --> 00:07:16,666
Oh, wow!
A Fitbit!

138
00:07:18,164 --> 00:07:20,380
Well, thank you.
Thank you.

139
00:07:20,467 --> 00:07:22,415
I... I actually
already have a Fitbit,

140
00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:24,754
but I could give this one
to a friend!

141
00:07:26,583 --> 00:07:29,363
I just...
I have one, so...

142
00:07:40,178 --> 00:07:43,159
Furniture polish, paint thinner,
and bleach.

143
00:07:43,255 --> 00:07:47,800
Ammonia and antifreeze,
one tablespoon each.

144
00:07:47,825 --> 00:07:49,268
I hate everybody.

145
00:07:49,293 --> 00:07:50,873
I just like to read.

146
00:07:51,014 --> 00:07:54,431
Everyone's stupid.
They smoke too much weed.

147
00:07:54,456 --> 00:07:58,245
So, with this eldrich potion,
and these ancient words,

148
00:07:58,286 --> 00:08:02,324
I make my revenge
upon all the turds.

149
00:08:18,442 --> 00:08:19,689
Butters Scotch?

150
00:08:19,714 --> 00:08:20,721
Yes, sir.

151
00:08:20,809 --> 00:08:22,142
We want to ask you
some questions

152
00:08:22,167 --> 00:08:24,249
about what happened
in town last night.

153
00:08:24,631 --> 00:08:26,439
What happened in town?

154
00:08:26,527 --> 00:08:29,075
People were attacked by
an ancient Egyptian mummy.

155
00:08:29,268 --> 00:08:32,142
It killed five people, and
destroyed everything it could.

156
00:08:33,174 --> 00:08:34,447
Oh. A mummy, huh?

157
00:08:34,574 --> 00:08:35,939
That's... That's weird.

158
00:08:36,081 --> 00:08:37,996
Oh, you just think
that's weird?

159
00:08:38,144 --> 00:08:40,159
Because The mummy says
you two got in some kind

160
00:08:40,184 --> 00:08:42,284
of altercation
last night.

161
00:08:42,697 --> 00:08:44,962
What?
The mummy talked to you?

162
00:08:44,988 --> 00:08:47,571
Is it true, sir,
that you and the mummy...

163
00:08:47,744 --> 00:08:50,258
"got into an argument
over a gift

164
00:08:50,283 --> 00:08:52,706
which you didn't seem
to appreciate"?

165
00:08:53,234 --> 00:08:54,369
There was no argument.

166
00:08:54,394 --> 00:08:56,542
I just said I already had it,
and I'd give it to a friend.

167
00:08:56,629 --> 00:08:58,549
A present that the mummy
got for you?

168
00:08:58,637 --> 00:09:00,010
- I just...
- You can see

169
00:09:00,035 --> 00:09:01,681
how that could
be pretty hurtful?

170
00:09:01,832 --> 00:09:04,848
Did you throw the mummy
out of your house?

171
00:09:04,936 --> 00:09:07,319
No! I didn't throw the mummy
out of the house!

172
00:09:07,407 --> 00:09:09,575
The mummy got all pissed off
at me, and left!

173
00:09:11,093 --> 00:09:12,987
You're gonna have to share
in the damages, here, son.

174
00:09:13,012 --> 00:09:14,791
But I didn't do
anything wrong!

175
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:16,979
Okay look, officers.
I think...

176
00:09:17,383 --> 00:09:19,994
I'm under some kind
of curse.

177
00:09:20,158 --> 00:09:23,174
Well, that's what the mummy
told us about you.

178
00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:24,937
You've got a summons
to appear in court.

179
00:09:24,962 --> 00:09:26,839
Until then, I just suggest
you and the mummy

180
00:09:26,864 --> 00:09:28,502
stay away
from each other.

181
00:09:33,777 --> 00:09:36,854
Oh, man.
I really like it.

182
00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:40,202
Yeah. It's smooth.

183
00:09:40,308 --> 00:09:41,596
It's really smooth.

184
00:09:41,621 --> 00:09:44,908
This is so good that we should
stop smoking it right now.

185
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:47,502
We don't want to ruin our
Halloween experience, you know?

186
00:09:47,674 --> 00:09:50,977
This is seriously gonna be
the best Halloween ever.

187
00:09:53,931 --> 00:09:55,144
Shelly!

188
00:09:55,169 --> 00:09:58,151
That's what I think
of your stupid special!

189
00:09:59,206 --> 00:10:02,150
No!
No!!

190
00:10:06,154 --> 00:10:07,754
Alright, everyone,
listen up.

191
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:09,801
Halloween has almost arrived,
and I want to make sure that

192
00:10:09,826 --> 00:10:11,235
we are all aware
of certain guidelines

193
00:10:11,260 --> 00:10:13,476
when it comes to
Halloween costumes at school.

194
00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:16,981
Now, I don't want to see
any **** sombreros!

195
00:10:17,247 --> 00:10:19,739
Alright? If I see any ****
Mexican sombreros,

196
00:10:19,771 --> 00:10:22,564
or anyone **** dressed
like a **** Native American,

197
00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:24,731
I'm gonna lose
my **** shit.

198
00:10:25,675 --> 00:10:28,105
There will be no
HOBOS or BUMS,

199
00:10:28,130 --> 00:10:30,802
anything depicting people
from low-income households.

200
00:10:31,060 --> 00:10:32,553
Oh, no Halloween
for you, Kenny.

201
00:10:32,578 --> 00:10:34,441
And lastly,
heed my **** words...

202
00:10:34,466 --> 00:10:38,136
..if I see any of you girls
dressed as **** Moana,

203
00:10:38,161 --> 00:10:41,136
I am gonna lose
my **** mind.

204
00:10:41,301 --> 00:10:43,917
Alright, now, the student book
fair is coming up next week.

205
00:10:44,106 --> 00:10:45,809
We encourage
all students to...

206
00:11:01,974 --> 00:11:03,115
And that's
all that happened.

207
00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:04,623
I put that stamp
in the sticker book,

208
00:11:04,648 --> 00:11:06,614
and now this mummy is destroying
everything around me.

209
00:11:06,639 --> 00:11:08,620
- I need help.
- M'kay.

210
00:11:08,770 --> 00:11:11,195
And do you feel like
maybe the mummy's trying to,

211
00:11:11,227 --> 00:11:13,510
you know, get you to react?

212
00:11:13,747 --> 00:11:16,401
- Well, what do you mean?
- Well, you know, Butters,

213
00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:19,074
the mummy just feels like you
get to do whatever you want

214
00:11:19,099 --> 00:11:21,205
but it doesn't get to do
whatever it wants.

215
00:11:21,292 --> 00:11:23,274
Wait, the mummy talked
to you, too?!

216
00:11:23,299 --> 00:11:25,014
Yeah, yeah, we had a good talk.
Yeah.

217
00:11:25,039 --> 00:11:26,787
Why is it talking to everyone?!

218
00:11:26,999 --> 00:11:29,935
I think the mummy's very insightful
and cares about you a lot...

219
00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:31,778
No, it doesn't!
This is crazy!

220
00:11:31,929 --> 00:11:33,263
Look, the mummy's just sad

221
00:11:33,288 --> 00:11:35,792
because you get to go to school
and have fun

222
00:11:35,817 --> 00:11:37,365
and what does the mummy
get to do?

223
00:11:37,390 --> 00:11:39,380
You know, it just sits around
being a mummy, you know.

224
00:11:39,467 --> 00:11:40,921
- That's not fair.
- First of all,

225
00:11:40,946 --> 00:11:43,295
I don't have fun at school!
And secondly,

226
00:11:43,510 --> 00:11:45,430
the mummy can do
whatever it wants. I don't care!

227
00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:47,980
Right, but you do care, Butters,
because you're sitting here

228
00:11:48,005 --> 00:11:51,465
in my office talking about all the
bad things the mummy does, m'kay?

229
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:07,690
Randy! Quick!
You gotta come see!

230
00:12:08,006 --> 00:12:10,389
I just need some time,
okay Towelie?

231
00:12:10,414 --> 00:12:13,091
But you don't understand!
The special!

232
00:12:13,116 --> 00:12:15,052
Well, it's a miracle!

233
00:12:17,709 --> 00:12:20,497
Come on!
You're not gonna believe it!

234
00:12:21,803 --> 00:12:23,802
Alright, Towelie,
what is this... Whoa!

235
00:12:30,849 --> 00:12:32,948
The Halloween special...

236
00:12:33,035 --> 00:12:34,989
Whatever your daughter
threw on this shit

237
00:12:35,014 --> 00:12:37,411
made it more powerful
than ever.

238
00:12:40,238 --> 00:12:42,754
Yeah! We're back!
Yeah!

239
00:12:42,812 --> 00:12:45,260
Yeah! Ye...

240
00:12:45,409 --> 00:12:46,824
I have to end this curse,
fellas.

241
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:47,981
It's getting worse
everyday.

242
00:12:48,083 --> 00:12:50,027
Last night,
the mummy attacked my parents!

243
00:12:50,052 --> 00:12:52,348
And then it said I was being
narcissistic!

244
00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:54,437
It has no reason.
No logic.

245
00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:56,367
One minute it's destroying
everything

246
00:12:56,392 --> 00:12:58,609
and the next it's sending me
selfies like nothing happened!

247
00:12:58,634 --> 00:12:59,563
Look!

248
00:13:01,013 --> 00:13:02,350
The whole thing is so crazy,

249
00:13:02,375 --> 00:13:04,447
It's starting to make me think
I'm crazy!

250
00:13:04,565 --> 00:13:07,122
Well, it is a little crazy how
much you talk about the mummy.

251
00:13:07,766 --> 00:13:10,314
It's a freaking mummy!
Wouldn't you talk about it?!

252
00:13:10,401 --> 00:13:12,383
We're just saying, Butters, that
sometimes it all seems

253
00:13:12,408 --> 00:13:14,624
- a little codependent.
- Yeah, like you and the mummy

254
00:13:14,649 --> 00:13:16,325
just need to do
your own thing sometimes.

255
00:13:16,412 --> 00:13:18,193
I would love that,
but I don't have a choice!

256
00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:20,754
I swear you guys,
mummies can smell fun!

257
00:13:20,779 --> 00:13:23,094
Whenever I'm somewhere and I
actually start having a good time,

258
00:13:23,119 --> 00:13:24,429
I get a call or a text
from the mummy

259
00:13:24,454 --> 00:13:25,835
sayin',
"Hey, what are ya doin'?"

260
00:13:25,922 --> 00:13:27,370
Like it knows.

261
00:13:27,457 --> 00:13:29,138
Well, you're kinda having fun
now, aren't you?

262
00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:30,973
Yeah, it is fun
to get away

263
00:13:30,998 --> 00:13:32,438
and just talk
to you guys about it.

264
00:13:38,744 --> 00:13:41,414
Ah, gosh darn it.
Hang on a second, fellas.

265
00:13:47,171 --> 00:13:50,054
Ok, that should be enough Halloween
Special for the first few people.

266
00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:52,294
Now, I think we should put
the open bar in this area

267
00:13:52,319 --> 00:13:54,072
and the hot tub
maybe right here.

268
00:13:54,097 --> 00:13:55,446
Yeah,
that'll work well.

269
00:13:55,471 --> 00:13:58,024
Dad, you have to drive me
to the book fair.

270
00:13:58,469 --> 00:13:59,556
What?

271
00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:01,303
Mom said you have to drive me

272
00:14:01,328 --> 00:14:03,611
because she's taking Stan
trick or treating.

273
00:14:03,822 --> 00:14:06,203
- You're going to a book fair.
- Yes.

274
00:14:06,228 --> 00:14:09,078
- On **** Halloween?!
- Yes!

275
00:14:09,103 --> 00:14:11,519
I don't even know how
to deal with you anymore.

276
00:14:11,668 --> 00:14:13,716
You're doing this
on purpose, aren't you?

277
00:14:13,803 --> 00:14:16,552
You're my dad.
Drive me to the book fair!

278
00:14:16,710 --> 00:14:19,610
I will not!
I have things to get ready!

279
00:14:19,635 --> 00:14:22,551
And nobody cares about books
on Halloween, Shelley!

280
00:14:22,702 --> 00:14:24,983
The last thing
people in this town need

281
00:14:25,008 --> 00:14:26,751
is more marijuana!

282
00:14:27,829 --> 00:14:29,577
Oh, my God!

283
00:14:29,782 --> 00:14:33,132
It's a nightmare.
It's a personal hell.

284
00:14:33,218 --> 00:14:35,767
I've done everything I can as a
father

285
00:14:35,893 --> 00:14:37,301
to help her
with her problem,

286
00:14:37,326 --> 00:14:39,546
but she just ignores
everything I say!

287
00:14:39,571 --> 00:14:41,344
I can't do this.

288
00:14:41,369 --> 00:14:43,340
You're such
a piece of shit, Dad!

289
00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:46,118
Shelley, I love you!

290
00:14:47,025 --> 00:14:49,346
And what does her mother
have to say about this?

291
00:14:49,494 --> 00:14:52,053
Her mother doesn't say
anything anymore!

292
00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:54,595
Whenever I bring up our
daughter's marijuana problem,

293
00:14:54,620 --> 00:14:56,831
my wife says,
"I'm gonna lose my mind

294
00:14:56,856 --> 00:14:59,892
if you bring this up again."
It's destroying all of us!

295
00:14:59,980 --> 00:15:04,230
I just think maybe a night in jail
is the wake-up call that she needs.

296
00:15:04,448 --> 00:15:07,131
I'm barely gonna have fun
at the Halloween Special now.

297
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:08,988
It's gonna be really hard
for me to rage

298
00:15:09,013 --> 00:15:11,097
knowing you're in here, Shelley.
It's gonna be really hard

299
00:15:11,122 --> 00:15:12,674
for me to rage.

300
00:15:14,284 --> 00:15:15,948
Alright, here you go.

301
00:15:16,394 --> 00:15:18,843
When you have a problem
with drugs and alcohol,

302
00:15:18,868 --> 00:15:21,479
you hurt everyone around you.
Happy Halloween.

303
00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:26,208
What are you in for?

304
00:15:27,442 --> 00:15:29,323
I'm in here
because apparently

305
00:15:29,348 --> 00:15:31,227
I'm a passive-aggressive,
controlling,

306
00:15:31,252 --> 00:15:33,683
and manipulative psychopath
who's narcissistic behavior

307
00:15:33,708 --> 00:15:35,384
drives other people crazy.

308
00:15:44,571 --> 00:15:47,410
Hey, trick or treat. We're here
for the Halloween Special?

309
00:15:47,497 --> 00:15:49,050
Alright,
here you go guys!

310
00:15:49,138 --> 00:15:51,554
That's a promotional gift
from Tegridy Farms!

311
00:15:51,579 --> 00:15:54,329
Hey, come on in guys.
There's candy and a hot tub!

312
00:15:54,394 --> 00:15:55,909
Alright!

313
00:15:56,005 --> 00:15:58,215
Samplers of the special are
there on the table guys.

314
00:15:58,240 --> 00:15:59,422
Feel free to light up!

315
00:15:59,571 --> 00:16:01,519
Wow! We're
almost out, Randy.

316
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:03,526
I gotta go to the barn
and get some more!

317
00:16:03,613 --> 00:16:05,194
Okay, I'll hold down
the fort!

318
00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:12,101
What?

319
00:16:23,950 --> 00:16:26,314
So I said, 'Okay! Fine!
You don't ever do

320
00:16:26,339 --> 00:16:27,987
anything wrong.
It's all me.

321
00:16:28,075 --> 00:16:30,073
You've got no problems.
Only I have problems!

322
00:16:30,224 --> 00:16:32,005
Alright, I'll lock
my own ass up.

323
00:16:32,030 --> 00:16:33,495
Then we'll see
who's got issues.

324
00:16:34,025 --> 00:16:35,503
Will you shut up!

325
00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:38,282
I'll be in here and something
will go horribly wrong tonight

326
00:16:38,307 --> 00:16:40,548
and then the monster will
have to accept what it is

327
00:16:40,573 --> 00:16:42,992
and finally work
on changing, right?

328
00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:45,173
Probably not.

329
00:16:45,532 --> 00:16:47,544
Nah, you see,
fluvial geomorphology

330
00:16:47,569 --> 00:16:50,166
deals with the ways rivers
change over time.

331
00:16:50,642 --> 00:16:51,936
It's geology shit.

332
00:16:51,961 --> 00:16:53,617
It's why I got out of it,
really.

333
00:16:53,650 --> 00:16:56,375
Hey, man,
what's in this weed?

334
00:16:56,469 --> 00:16:58,793
Oh! That's a company secret,
my friend!

335
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:00,194
No I mean, I...

336
00:17:00,281 --> 00:17:01,892
I don't feel so...

337
00:17:04,251 --> 00:17:05,800
Hey, you alright there,
buddy?

338
00:17:08,892 --> 00:17:10,571
Whoa!
Dude, you see that?

339
00:17:16,579 --> 00:17:19,124
Towelie, there's something wrong
with the special!

340
00:17:19,233 --> 00:17:20,748
There's something
in the barn!

341
00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:23,634
The thing you killed,
it wants revenge!

342
00:17:23,977 --> 00:17:26,509
Oh, Jesus, what's happened?!

343
00:17:27,507 --> 00:17:30,383
It's dead 'cause of you,
and now it wants your soul!

344
00:17:30,408 --> 00:17:32,721
What?!
What's dead 'cause of me?!

345
00:17:35,859 --> 00:17:38,888
Oh, hello there.
Would you like to die?

346
00:17:40,804 --> 00:17:42,753
Winnie the Pooh!
Winnie the Pooh!

347
00:17:44,420 --> 00:17:47,132
Detective Harris! Something's
going down at the Marsh farm!

348
00:17:47,291 --> 00:17:50,357
- Calm down, sir! I can't understand you.
- Put him on speaker.

349
00:17:50,833 --> 00:17:52,834
There's monsters everywhere!

350
00:17:52,859 --> 00:17:54,250
It's some kind of curse!

351
00:17:54,368 --> 00:17:56,383
Unspeakable evil!

352
00:17:56,533 --> 00:17:58,242
The mummy! I told you!

353
00:17:58,267 --> 00:18:00,315
All different kinds
of monsters!

354
00:18:00,444 --> 00:18:02,894
Zombies and plant people
and bears!

355
00:18:03,044 --> 00:18:04,291
Oh, my God! What's that?!

356
00:18:04,379 --> 00:18:05,761
Oh, God,
it's Harvey Weinstein!

357
00:18:05,786 --> 00:18:07,361
He's got me! You gotta...

358
00:18:07,448 --> 00:18:09,129
Oh, he's inside me!

359
00:18:09,154 --> 00:18:11,003
Harvey Weinstein is inside me!

360
00:18:11,152 --> 00:18:13,467
You gotta send help!
People are dying everywhere!

361
00:18:13,492 --> 00:18:15,278
No! Harvey, I said no!

362
00:18:15,303 --> 00:18:17,264
Please somebody...

363
00:18:17,473 --> 00:18:19,159
This is it, everyone.
Let's move!

364
00:18:19,184 --> 00:18:22,278
All hands on deck! We gotta
take these monsters down!

365
00:18:23,033 --> 00:18:24,807
Bring the kid
who manipulates the mummy

366
00:18:24,832 --> 00:18:26,781
with his passive aggressive
selfishness!

367
00:18:38,913 --> 00:18:41,496
Alright, men!
Let's take these monsters out!

368
00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:43,572
No, just hold on a second.

369
00:18:43,722 --> 00:18:45,791
I'll take care of this!

370
00:18:54,319 --> 00:18:56,897
Oh, God, it's the cows we killed!

371
00:18:59,427 --> 00:19:02,215
Oh, I'm really going to enjoy
eating your brains.

372
00:19:03,067 --> 00:19:05,193
Get em off a me! Get em off a me!

373
00:19:05,218 --> 00:19:07,052
Oh, my God,
get him off of me!

374
00:19:07,786 --> 00:19:09,901
Get em off me!

375
00:19:09,926 --> 00:19:11,898
Help! Someone help us!

376
00:19:11,923 --> 00:19:13,857
?Someone help us!
?Get him off of me!

377
00:19:13,882 --> 00:19:17,302
Ahh! We gotta fight 'em, Towelie!
Help! Someone help us!

378
00:19:18,482 --> 00:19:22,256
I wanna live! We're going to live!
We're going to live!

379
00:19:27,807 --> 00:19:30,155
You monsters,
go back to Hell!

380
00:19:31,657 --> 00:19:33,347
- There's too many of them!
- There's too many of them!

381
00:19:33,372 --> 00:19:36,087
Oh, what is...
what is that?!

382
00:19:36,307 --> 00:19:37,817
No!

383
00:19:42,931 --> 00:19:46,080
Alright! That's it everyone!
Nothing to see here.

384
00:19:46,113 --> 00:19:48,963
Just some people
who are really, really high.

385
00:19:50,146 --> 00:19:51,749
I can't shoot anyone?

386
00:19:52,129 --> 00:19:54,399
You were so convinced
the mummy was to blame

387
00:19:54,424 --> 00:19:56,062
for everything,
weren't you?

388
00:19:56,087 --> 00:19:58,670
So convinced you
made us all believe it, too.

389
00:19:58,955 --> 00:20:00,737
I'm... I'm sorry?

390
00:20:00,762 --> 00:20:04,450
Yeah, well it's not us you
really need to be sorry to.

391
00:20:07,209 --> 00:20:09,042
Let's see if you even have

392
00:20:09,067 --> 00:20:10,414
a shred of decency
to apologize

393
00:20:10,439 --> 00:20:12,713
when something
is clearly your fault.

394
00:20:15,115 --> 00:20:17,643
I'm so sorry.
You're right.

395
00:20:17,668 --> 00:20:19,786
I can be selfish
and narcissistic.

396
00:20:19,856 --> 00:20:21,604
I'm gonna work
on myself and...

397
00:20:21,786 --> 00:20:24,338
try to make
this curse work somehow.

398
00:20:45,898 --> 00:20:49,355
It says, "I hope you can get
the help you need.

399
00:20:49,380 --> 00:20:50,927
I can't fix you."

400
00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:02,765
Hey, guess
I slept in late, huh?

401
00:21:02,790 --> 00:21:03,971
What time is it?

402
00:21:04,011 --> 00:21:06,160
It's 8:15 a. m.

403
00:21:06,565 --> 00:21:08,589
November 3rd.

404
00:21:11,325 --> 00:21:14,536
That was some strong-ass
Halloween Special, y'all.

405
00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:19,419
I mean I saw rapists in the hot
tub, zombie cows...

406
00:21:19,543 --> 00:21:21,669
I thought I was gonna die,
and then...

407
00:21:21,828 --> 00:21:24,803
this fat, bitchy angel came
and put me to bed.

408
00:21:26,889 --> 00:21:29,404
Did everyone enjoy
the Halloween Special?

409
00:21:29,817 --> 00:21:32,013
No, Randy, only you did.

410
00:21:33,161 --> 00:21:34,530
Oh...
Well, that was pretty much

411
00:21:34,555 --> 00:21:36,317
my target audience, anyway.

412
00:21:36,586 --> 00:21:38,813
Hey, at least I didn't
really have butt sex

413
00:21:38,838 --> 00:21:40,553
with Harvey Weinstein, huh?

414
00:21:43,403 --> 00:21:45,153
Or did I?

415
00:21:47,567 --> 00:21:49,521
Whoo!
Happy Halloween, everybody!

416
00:21:49,546 --> 00:21:55,200
credits

