1
00:00:00,373 --> 00:00:04,114
? It seems today that all you see ?

2
00:00:04,115 --> 00:00:07,648
? Is violence in movies and sex on TV ?

3
00:00:07,649 --> 00:00:10,985
? But where are those good
old-fashioned values ?

4
00:00:10,986 --> 00:00:13,988
? On which we used to rely? ?

5
00:00:13,989 --> 00:00:17,691
? Lucky there's a family guy ?

6
00:00:17,692 --> 00:00:20,894
? Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ?

7
00:00:20,895 --> 00:00:22,563
? All the things that make us ?

8
00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:24,098
? Laugh and cry ?

9
00:00:24,099 --> 00:00:29,519
? He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ?

10
00:00:29,929 --> 00:00:33,846
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com

11
00:00:36,828 --> 00:00:38,115
Wow, you guys.

12
00:00:38,116 --> 00:00:40,155
I've never been to a
restaurant where they cook

13
00:00:40,156 --> 00:00:41,623
right in front of you.

14
00:00:41,624 --> 00:00:43,725
Ugh. You know, later we're
going to have to take

15
00:00:43,726 --> 00:00:45,894
one of those forced
happiness family photos

16
00:00:45,895 --> 00:00:48,596
that come in the
restaurant's tacky frame.

17
00:00:48,597 --> 00:00:51,800
Why are you so (BLEEP)
negative all the time?

18
00:00:51,801 --> 00:00:55,503
I... uh... wha... I don't... uh, what?

19
00:00:55,504 --> 00:00:56,938
Come on, you guys, relax.

20
00:00:56,939 --> 00:00:58,239
Let's have a fun night.

21
00:00:58,240 --> 00:00:59,674
We haven't done anything as a family

22
00:00:59,675 --> 00:01:02,177
since we sat courtside at that NBA game.

23
00:01:04,447 --> 00:01:06,149
You okay? You guys, okay?

24
00:01:07,267 --> 00:01:08,616
Great seats.

25
00:01:08,617 --> 00:01:11,536
Yeah, it's a whole different
game when you sit down here.

26
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,660
Huh, "samurai" or "geishas."

27
00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:19,894
Which one am I?

28
00:01:19,895 --> 00:01:21,913
I'll just wait till
somebody else goes in.

29
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,567
Well, that wasn't helpful.

30
00:01:25,568 --> 00:01:27,836
Hmm, this one's holding a fan.

31
00:01:27,837 --> 00:01:30,469
That's usually what I need
when I'm done in a bathroom.

32
00:01:30,470 --> 00:01:32,207
Oop, no urinals.

33
00:01:32,208 --> 00:01:33,524
Must've guessed wrong.

34
00:01:35,995 --> 00:01:37,779
Wow, look at this place.

35
00:01:37,780 --> 00:01:40,348
There's candles, hand lotion.

36
00:01:40,349 --> 00:01:42,283
Whoa, there's not even any swastikas

37
00:01:42,284 --> 00:01:43,785
carved into the toilet seat.

38
00:01:43,786 --> 00:01:45,587
And it's so peaceful.

39
00:01:45,588 --> 00:01:47,222
I haven't heard a guy's booming fart

40
00:01:47,223 --> 00:01:48,823
the whole time I've been in here.

41
00:01:48,824 --> 00:01:51,526
I feel more relaxed than
a chick on Facebook

42
00:01:51,527 --> 00:01:53,678
with her legs in front of a pool.

43
00:01:54,579 --> 00:01:56,379
_

44
00:01:56,846 --> 00:01:58,846
_

45
00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:01,153
_

46
00:02:06,426 --> 00:02:08,109
All right, Lois, I'm off to the mall.

47
00:02:08,110 --> 00:02:09,544
I'll be back in about 20 minutes.

48
00:02:09,545 --> 00:02:10,845
Oh, what are you gonna buy?

49
00:02:10,846 --> 00:02:13,047
Nothing. After the other
night, I made a decision:

50
00:02:13,048 --> 00:02:15,817
from now on, I'm only
using women's restrooms.

51
00:02:15,818 --> 00:02:17,819
What? You can't do that. You're a man.

52
00:02:17,820 --> 00:02:18,987
You'll get in trouble.

53
00:02:18,988 --> 00:02:20,388
Oh, I got that covered.

54
00:02:20,389 --> 00:02:21,756
I'm going to Anthropologie.

55
00:02:21,757 --> 00:02:23,491
I'll just ask them for
something so ridiculous,

56
00:02:23,492 --> 00:02:25,460
they'll have to check
in the back for it.

57
00:02:25,461 --> 00:02:28,163
And then I'll sneak into
their ladies' room.

58
00:02:28,164 --> 00:02:30,598
Yes, I'd like a $4,000 ping-pong table

59
00:02:30,599 --> 00:02:32,066
that's shaped like Easter Island.

60
00:02:32,067 --> 00:02:33,518
We have one right over there.

61
00:02:34,347 --> 00:02:36,347
_

62
00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:38,139
Okay.

63
00:02:38,140 --> 00:02:40,575
How about a telephone that's
made of vintage phone book paper

64
00:02:40,576 --> 00:02:43,678
and doesn't make or receive
phone calls or work in any way?

65
00:02:43,679 --> 00:02:45,698
You mean like this one right here?

66
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,663
_

67
00:02:47,664 --> 00:02:49,817
- Right, but what if I wanted...
- Sir, sir?

68
00:02:49,818 --> 00:02:51,286
There's nothing you can possibly imagine

69
00:02:51,287 --> 00:02:53,454
that's strange or useless
enough that we don't have it

70
00:02:53,455 --> 00:02:54,689
here at Anthropologie.

71
00:02:54,690 --> 00:02:57,859
I know one thing you don't
have, black customers.

72
00:02:57,860 --> 00:03:00,195
Ah! I'm melting!

73
00:03:00,196 --> 00:03:02,346
Ha-ha! To the ladies' room!

74
00:03:10,884 --> 00:03:13,151
Wow, this is the nicest one yet.

75
00:03:13,152 --> 00:03:14,514
_

76
00:03:14,515 --> 00:03:16,908
Eh, what are the odds
she's gonna show up?

77
00:03:24,184 --> 00:03:26,901
Did you get your ass
kicked by Meryl Streep?

78
00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:29,070
No, it was just some
low-class cockney woman

79
00:03:29,071 --> 00:03:31,439
from the mid-1800s and...

80
00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:34,075
Bravo!

81
00:03:34,076 --> 00:03:36,369
She is amazing.

82
00:03:36,370 --> 00:03:37,676
Thank you.

83
00:03:39,065 --> 00:03:40,849
Stay out of my crapper.

84
00:03:43,018 --> 00:03:45,086
And the Oscar goes to...

85
00:03:45,087 --> 00:03:48,523
Meryl Streep, for Stay
Out of My Crapper.

86
00:03:58,151 --> 00:04:00,568
Ah, the ladies' room at Wimbledon.

87
00:04:00,569 --> 00:04:03,304
This must be the fanciest
bathroom in the world.

88
00:04:03,305 --> 00:04:05,173
Uh-oh, looks like these are in use.

89
00:04:13,112 --> 00:04:14,665
Deuce.

90
00:04:19,739 --> 00:04:23,608
Hey, uh, don't tell Mom that we
don't use car seats with me.

91
00:04:26,146 --> 00:04:27,929
Unhand me! What do you
think you're doing?!

92
00:04:27,930 --> 00:04:30,932
Okay, Stewie, you're gonna
help Daddy by holding his iPad

93
00:04:30,933 --> 00:04:34,435
while he watches season
one of House of Cards.

94
00:04:39,025 --> 00:04:40,948
Wh... where was the house?

95
00:04:40,949 --> 00:04:42,477
Where was the house of cards?

96
00:04:42,478 --> 00:04:44,612
All right, Stewie, time to go.

97
00:04:44,613 --> 00:04:47,593
Whoa, whoa. A little wobbly.

98
00:04:47,594 --> 00:04:49,017
Guess my legs fell asleep.

99
00:04:50,186 --> 00:04:51,753
Aah!

100
00:04:51,754 --> 00:04:54,756
Stewie, Daddy can't feel
his legs. Go get help!

101
00:04:54,757 --> 00:04:57,192
I'm hanging from a door, you idiot!

102
00:05:00,229 --> 00:05:03,198
By the way, you're down
to five percent battery.

103
00:05:03,199 --> 00:05:05,833
Oh, damn it, my head.

104
00:05:05,834 --> 00:05:08,203
Well, no wonder... you're
running all the apps at once.

105
00:05:09,605 --> 00:05:12,523
Sir? Sir, can you hear me?

106
00:05:14,594 --> 00:05:16,010
There he is.

107
00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:17,579
Welcome back, buddy.

108
00:05:17,580 --> 00:05:19,681
- Who are you?
- I'm a paramedic.

109
00:05:19,682 --> 00:05:21,149
Name's Stryker Foxx.

110
00:05:22,284 --> 00:05:23,751
Oh, Lois just texted.

111
00:05:23,752 --> 00:05:25,968
"Burgers or meatballs for dinner?"

112
00:05:25,969 --> 00:05:27,487
I'll text back for you.

113
00:05:27,488 --> 00:05:31,426
"Same thing, bitch.
Just different shapes."

114
00:05:32,895 --> 00:05:34,762
Oh, this is gonna be fun.

115
00:05:34,763 --> 00:05:36,331
Oh, battery died.

116
00:05:36,332 --> 00:05:38,266
Sir, you've sustained a head injury.

117
00:05:38,267 --> 00:05:41,269
How many chicken fingers am I
holding up, and do you want one?

118
00:05:41,270 --> 00:05:43,705
Three, and hell yeah!

119
00:05:43,706 --> 00:05:46,107
Mmm. Aw. These are amazing!

120
00:05:46,108 --> 00:05:47,775
Did I die and go to heaven?

121
00:05:47,776 --> 00:05:49,666
Well, you didn't die,
'cause I saved you.

122
00:05:49,667 --> 00:05:51,813
And you're not in heaven 'cause
you're not holding a margarita.

123
00:05:51,814 --> 00:05:53,887
Oh, wait a minute, yes, you are.

124
00:05:53,888 --> 00:05:55,955
You brought a lot of
food in the bathroom.

125
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:57,475
I always do.

126
00:05:58,671 --> 00:06:00,154
Oh, my God.

127
00:06:00,155 --> 00:06:02,123
Are you the coolest guy ever?

128
00:06:02,124 --> 00:06:04,158
Ah, that's just a silly
title they gave me

129
00:06:04,159 --> 00:06:06,027
down at the Karate
Paintball Dirt Bike Club.

130
00:06:06,028 --> 00:06:07,128
Awesome!

131
00:06:07,129 --> 00:06:08,696
Okay, well, bandaged you up.

132
00:06:08,697 --> 00:06:10,431
You should be good to go.

133
00:06:10,432 --> 00:06:12,567
But just be more careful next time.

134
00:06:12,568 --> 00:06:14,102
I know. What a stupid injury, huh?

135
00:06:14,103 --> 00:06:15,436
I haven't been this embarrassed

136
00:06:15,437 --> 00:06:17,572
since I was a rookie firefighter.

137
00:06:22,629 --> 00:06:25,163
Sorry, first day. Still learning.

138
00:06:29,669 --> 00:06:31,152
Hey, Stryker, wait!

139
00:06:31,153 --> 00:06:33,121
Hey, listen, I just wanted
to say thanks again

140
00:06:33,122 --> 00:06:34,318
for patching me up.

141
00:06:34,319 --> 00:06:35,356
No problem, buddy.

142
00:06:35,357 --> 00:06:37,925
Hey, that's an interesting
necklace you got there.

143
00:06:37,926 --> 00:06:39,794
Oh, this? It's from when I was a kid.

144
00:06:39,795 --> 00:06:41,596
It's half of a "best friend" coin.

145
00:06:41,597 --> 00:06:43,097
I always had this crazy dream

146
00:06:43,098 --> 00:06:45,816
that one day I'd run into the
guy with the other half.

147
00:06:50,156 --> 00:06:52,700
Oh, my God. Cody?

148
00:06:52,701 --> 00:06:56,040
Oh, that must be the name of the
dead surfer I found this on.

149
00:07:00,609 --> 00:07:02,426
We now
return to the Olympics.

150
00:07:02,427 --> 00:07:03,794
Ugh, it's so annoying.

151
00:07:03,795 --> 00:07:05,229
They always use football announcers

152
00:07:05,230 --> 00:07:07,331
for events they know nothing about.

153
00:07:07,332 --> 00:07:09,433
The players are ready
to take the swimming field.

154
00:07:10,435 --> 00:07:11,835
And they're swimming!

155
00:07:11,836 --> 00:07:13,537
They appear to be doing
the forward stroke.

156
00:07:13,538 --> 00:07:14,872
My neighbor has a pool.

157
00:07:14,873 --> 00:07:17,374
I'll take a dip if I know
they're on vacation.

158
00:07:17,375 --> 00:07:19,810
It's neck-and-neck, and
it looks like Canada won!

159
00:07:19,811 --> 00:07:21,995
Uh, no, they're going
back the other way.

160
00:07:23,032 --> 00:07:24,782
What do you think? How do I look?

161
00:07:24,783 --> 00:07:26,383
Like a gas station energy drink.

162
00:07:26,384 --> 00:07:28,619
But you put that on to go to the Clam?

163
00:07:28,620 --> 00:07:30,888
Aren't the guys gonna think
you're a little overdressed?

164
00:07:30,889 --> 00:07:32,511
Oh, I'm not hanging out with the guys.

165
00:07:32,512 --> 00:07:33,831
I met someone new.

166
00:07:33,832 --> 00:07:36,260
His name's Stryker and he's really cool.

167
00:07:36,261 --> 00:07:38,629
Like, he's one of those
guys whose forearm hair

168
00:07:38,630 --> 00:07:40,664
makes his watch look even cooler.

169
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,333
It's Stryker!

170
00:07:43,334 --> 00:07:46,070
I want him to think I was
listening to a cool song.

171
00:07:47,539 --> 00:07:48,672
Yeah, who dis?

172
00:07:48,673 --> 00:07:49,807
Oh, hey, man.

173
00:07:49,808 --> 00:07:51,675
Oh, nothing much. Just getting slurped.

174
00:07:51,676 --> 00:07:53,577
- Ew.
- Oh, you're almost here?

175
00:07:53,578 --> 00:07:55,379
Okay, just, uh, just give me a second

176
00:07:55,380 --> 00:07:57,681
so I can put away all my guitars.

177
00:07:57,682 --> 00:07:59,349
Okay, Seacrest out. Bye.

178
00:08:00,351 --> 00:08:01,718
What the hell was that?

179
00:08:01,719 --> 00:08:03,053
Lay off. Nothing.

180
00:08:05,466 --> 00:08:06,583
Hey, Peter.

181
00:08:06,584 --> 00:08:08,071
Hey, man.

182
00:08:08,072 --> 00:08:09,758
Hola, cha-cha, hi-hi.

183
00:08:09,759 --> 00:08:11,662
- Peter!
- I don't know. It's-it's this house.

184
00:08:11,663 --> 00:08:13,797
I-I got to get out of this house.

185
00:08:13,798 --> 00:08:15,899
Boy, Dad sure seems excited.

186
00:08:15,900 --> 00:08:17,601
I know. I haven't seen him this giddy

187
00:08:17,602 --> 00:08:20,771
since he discovered that
single-loop roller coaster.

188
00:08:21,773 --> 00:08:23,807
Ah...

189
00:08:24,809 --> 00:08:26,877
Ah...

190
00:08:27,879 --> 00:08:29,213
Ah...

191
00:08:29,214 --> 00:08:30,414
Uh, don't feel so good.

192
00:08:30,415 --> 00:08:31,915
Ew!

193
00:08:31,916 --> 00:08:33,717
Ah...

194
00:08:33,718 --> 00:08:34,985
Ew!

195
00:08:34,986 --> 00:08:36,687
Ah...

196
00:08:36,688 --> 00:08:38,572
Ew!

197
00:08:45,597 --> 00:08:47,498
Wow, what a cool loft.

198
00:08:47,499 --> 00:08:50,701
I bet it cost a ton to make
this place look unfinished.

199
00:08:50,702 --> 00:08:52,336
Hey, come over here.
There's someone I want

200
00:08:52,337 --> 00:08:55,873
to introduce you to,
1997 George Clooney.

201
00:08:55,874 --> 00:08:58,842
Wow! That's the coolest
George Clooney there is!

202
00:08:58,843 --> 00:09:01,578
Hi, George Clooney, second worst Batman.

203
00:09:01,579 --> 00:09:03,113
Peter Griffin, second best Homer.

204
00:09:03,114 --> 00:09:04,882
You may have heard, I'm also known

205
00:09:04,883 --> 00:09:06,884
for my practical jokes on the set.

206
00:09:06,885 --> 00:09:09,887
One time, I nailed Nora Dunn
in the head with an apple.

207
00:09:09,888 --> 00:09:12,422
That-that's hilarious
'cause you're handsome.

208
00:09:12,423 --> 00:09:15,192
Otherwise, you're just
some dick who hit a lady.

209
00:09:15,193 --> 00:09:16,960
Aw, thanks for bringing
me here, Stryker.

210
00:09:16,961 --> 00:09:18,328
I'm having the best time ever.

211
00:09:18,329 --> 00:09:20,747
Even better than when
I lived in Santa Fe.

212
00:09:22,518 --> 00:09:24,902
Have you ever seen a prettier sunset?

213
00:09:24,903 --> 00:09:25,903
Never.

214
00:09:25,904 --> 00:09:27,804
It's just so peaceful here.

215
00:09:27,805 --> 00:09:29,106
It sure is.

216
00:09:29,107 --> 00:09:31,041
Mm. Sure is.

217
00:09:31,042 --> 00:09:34,683
Did you also have a very public
meltdown in another city?

218
00:09:34,684 --> 00:09:37,863
- I did.
- Yeah. Yeah.

219
00:09:47,509 --> 00:09:48,892
Ugh, it's the guys.

220
00:09:48,893 --> 00:09:50,327
What do those losers want?

221
00:09:50,328 --> 00:09:52,396
Losers? Those are your friends.

222
00:09:52,397 --> 00:09:53,530
Nah, they're lame.

223
00:09:53,531 --> 00:09:56,266
Not one of them has ever
vaped at a funeral.

224
00:09:56,267 --> 00:09:58,368
Hey, Peter. Hey, what
are you doing tonight?

225
00:09:58,369 --> 00:09:59,603
We're gonna watch Cleveland

226
00:09:59,604 --> 00:10:02,105
put a garbage can full
of coins in a Coinstar.

227
00:10:02,106 --> 00:10:04,541
Sometimes it takes my buttons.

228
00:10:04,542 --> 00:10:06,610
Eh, thanks, guys, but I-I can't make it.

229
00:10:06,611 --> 00:10:08,912
I'm, um, I'm getting re-circumcised.

230
00:10:08,913 --> 00:10:10,497
Got a wedding next week.

231
00:10:10,498 --> 00:10:12,049
I just want to clean it up a bit.

232
00:10:12,050 --> 00:10:13,784
Oh, well, that's too bad.
Yeah, maybe next time.

233
00:10:13,785 --> 00:10:15,358
That sounds horrible.

234
00:10:15,954 --> 00:10:18,055
Peter, why did you just lie to the guys?

235
00:10:18,056 --> 00:10:19,878
'Cause I got plans with Stryker.

236
00:10:19,879 --> 00:10:21,325
I don't want them to embarrass me.

237
00:10:21,326 --> 00:10:22,893
Eh, I get where he's coming from.

238
00:10:22,894 --> 00:10:25,062
That's why I never introduce
you to my friends.

239
00:10:25,063 --> 00:10:26,163
What friends?

240
00:10:26,164 --> 00:10:28,632
Like the guys in my photography club.

241
00:10:28,633 --> 00:10:31,001
"Dear Gary Glitter, Jeffrey Jones

242
00:10:31,002 --> 00:10:32,703
and Jared from Subway,

243
00:10:32,704 --> 00:10:35,305
I feel like I'm the
only one sending pics.

244
00:10:35,306 --> 00:10:37,307
I love all the positive feedback,

245
00:10:37,308 --> 00:10:39,243
but maybe you guys send a pic?

246
00:10:39,244 --> 00:10:41,161
Anyway, here's more pics."

247
00:10:48,770 --> 00:10:50,854
Hey, you ever try that? Wingsuiting?

248
00:10:50,855 --> 00:10:52,289
I mean, basically, yeah.

249
00:10:52,290 --> 00:10:54,057
One time, I jumped off a top bunk

250
00:10:54,058 --> 00:10:56,126
with a towel around my neck like a cape.

251
00:10:56,127 --> 00:10:57,761
It was inside the IKEA.

252
00:10:57,762 --> 00:10:59,529
I landed on a cardboard computer.

253
00:10:59,530 --> 00:11:01,531
We should totally do that sometime.

254
00:11:01,532 --> 00:11:02,933
Nah, I can't go back there.

255
00:11:02,934 --> 00:11:04,517
They got my picture by the door.

256
00:11:06,388 --> 00:11:07,871
Hey, he is in here.

257
00:11:07,872 --> 00:11:10,040
What the hell are you guys doing here?

258
00:11:10,041 --> 00:11:11,708
We were coming back from the Coinstar

259
00:11:11,709 --> 00:11:13,343
and saw your car out front.

260
00:11:13,344 --> 00:11:16,146
Rough night. Turns out
the can was all buttons.

261
00:11:16,147 --> 00:11:18,109
We're not gonna make our mortgage.

262
00:11:18,110 --> 00:11:19,342
What are you doing here?

263
00:11:19,343 --> 00:11:20,984
I thought you were too
busy to go out tonight.

264
00:11:20,985 --> 00:11:22,386
Peter, who are your friends?

265
00:11:22,387 --> 00:11:27,291
Oh, um... Stryker, this is
Quagmire, Joe and Cleveland.

266
00:11:27,292 --> 00:11:28,692
How do you two know each other?

267
00:11:28,693 --> 00:11:30,494
Did you meet at the Harry Potter store?

268
00:11:30,495 --> 00:11:31,928
Peter loves that place.

269
00:11:31,929 --> 00:11:34,698
It was one wand and I was
using a gift certificate.

270
00:11:34,699 --> 00:11:37,267
No, we actually met when I was
administering first aid to him.

271
00:11:37,268 --> 00:11:39,269
- I'm a paramedic.
- For real?

272
00:11:39,270 --> 00:11:41,905
Hey, can I show you seven
or eight things on my body

273
00:11:41,906 --> 00:11:44,107
and ask for medical diagnosises?

274
00:11:44,108 --> 00:11:46,209
This thing here that looks
like a second elbow,

275
00:11:46,210 --> 00:11:47,678
I don't know what it is.

276
00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:49,212
Feels like it's filled with liquid.

277
00:11:49,213 --> 00:11:51,114
Well, I could take a look at it.

278
00:11:51,115 --> 00:11:53,083
No, no, no, guys, guys,
it's his night off.

279
00:11:53,084 --> 00:11:54,217
I have two pee holes.

280
00:11:54,218 --> 00:11:56,219
Stop it! Stop it. Guys,
can I talk to you?

281
00:11:56,220 --> 00:11:58,597
Look, this, this right here

282
00:11:58,598 --> 00:12:00,223
is exactly why I've been avoiding you.

283
00:12:00,224 --> 00:12:02,359
I knew you'd embarrass
me in front of Stryker.

284
00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:03,960
Who cares? He's just some dude.

285
00:12:03,961 --> 00:12:05,919
He's not "just some dude."

286
00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:07,608
He happens to be the
first really cool friend

287
00:12:07,609 --> 00:12:08,810
I've ever had.

288
00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:10,641
What are you talking about? We're cool.

289
00:12:10,642 --> 00:12:12,244
You are absolutely not cool.

290
00:12:12,245 --> 00:12:13,613
Oh, yeah?

291
00:12:13,614 --> 00:12:15,882
Well, then why did those
teenagers on the way in say,

292
00:12:15,883 --> 00:12:17,383
"Cool wheelchair, dick"?

293
00:12:17,384 --> 00:12:19,185
Hey, look, Peter, if you're
so embarrassed by us

294
00:12:19,186 --> 00:12:20,553
and you think we're losers,

295
00:12:20,554 --> 00:12:22,355
well, then we don't want to
hang out with you, either.

296
00:12:22,356 --> 00:12:24,591
Good. Who needs you bums? I got Stryker.

297
00:12:24,592 --> 00:12:25,758
Oh, yeah?

298
00:12:25,759 --> 00:12:28,928
Well, I hope you two are
happy together, you jerk.

299
00:12:28,929 --> 00:12:30,964
Cool wheelchair, dick.

300
00:12:30,965 --> 00:12:33,236
Thanks. Did you see the
backpack hanging off it?

301
00:12:46,264 --> 00:12:47,480
Wow, you know,

302
00:12:47,481 --> 00:12:49,215
I never thought I could be
talked into wingsuiting.

303
00:12:49,216 --> 00:12:50,368
You're gonna love it.

304
00:12:50,369 --> 00:12:52,452
It's just a short hike
from here to the summit.

305
00:12:52,453 --> 00:12:54,554
A hike? It's no problem.

306
00:12:54,555 --> 00:12:57,056
Shouldn't affect my old football injury.

307
00:12:57,057 --> 00:12:58,791
I spilled hot chili on my nuts.

308
00:12:58,792 --> 00:13:00,493
You're a riot, Peter.

309
00:13:00,494 --> 00:13:02,729
Hey, you sure you're up for this?

310
00:13:02,730 --> 00:13:05,899
Oh, hell yeah. When I commit to
something, I go all the way,

311
00:13:05,900 --> 00:13:08,401
like when I had Kathleen Turner's voice.

312
00:13:08,402 --> 00:13:10,703
Good morning, guys.

313
00:13:10,704 --> 00:13:12,438
Peter, what's wrong with your voice?

314
00:13:12,439 --> 00:13:14,841
I got punched in the throat
at the Clam last night.

315
00:13:14,842 --> 00:13:17,577
Now I sound exactly
like Kathleen Turner.

316
00:13:17,578 --> 00:13:19,712
I'm just gonna get my stromboli.

317
00:13:19,713 --> 00:13:22,515
Hey! Get away from my
stromboli, Kathleen Turner!

318
00:13:23,801 --> 00:13:26,902
_

319
00:13:26,903 --> 00:13:30,003
_

320
00:13:34,846 --> 00:13:38,197
Wow, that's, uh... that's some view.

321
00:13:38,198 --> 00:13:39,299
I know, isn't it?

322
00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:41,100
You see that rock formation over there?

323
00:13:41,101 --> 00:13:43,503
We're gonna fly right
through the center of it.

324
00:13:43,504 --> 00:13:45,138
It's called threading the needle.

325
00:13:45,139 --> 00:13:46,639
Totally intense.

326
00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:49,108
Uh-huh, uh-huh, yeah.
Or-or how about this?

327
00:13:49,109 --> 00:13:51,044
Maybe you jump off this cliff

328
00:13:51,045 --> 00:13:54,047
and I spin around over there
and sing Sound of Music.

329
00:13:54,048 --> 00:13:56,482
Or-or we could just go home
and watch Sound of Music.

330
00:13:56,483 --> 00:13:58,184
I can see you're a
little nervous, Peter,

331
00:13:58,185 --> 00:14:00,320
but I'm telling you, it
is easier than you think.

332
00:14:00,321 --> 00:14:02,071
Watch.

333
00:14:15,353 --> 00:14:17,570
Wow, look at him go.

334
00:14:17,571 --> 00:14:18,905
You know, just when I thought

335
00:14:18,906 --> 00:14:21,841
he couldn't get any cooler,
he goes... (BLEEP)

336
00:14:21,842 --> 00:14:23,776
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

337
00:14:23,777 --> 00:14:26,779
Oh! What-what just... There's
almost nothing left of him!

338
00:14:26,780 --> 00:14:29,015
And I just know I'm gonna be the one

339
00:14:29,016 --> 00:14:30,733
to have to intify the body.

340
00:14:32,770 --> 00:14:36,022
That's him. Poor guy.

341
00:14:36,023 --> 00:14:38,024
He looks like a bowl of tomato soup.

342
00:14:38,025 --> 00:14:39,926
Guy next to him died in a fire.

343
00:14:39,927 --> 00:14:42,862
He looks like a grilled cheese sandwich.

344
00:14:42,863 --> 00:14:46,432
Oh, these two poor souls
are the best combination

345
00:14:46,433 --> 00:14:47,717
for a rainy Saturday.

346
00:14:53,737 --> 00:14:55,771
So, hey, guys.

347
00:14:55,772 --> 00:14:57,871
What are we drinking? Beer?

348
00:14:57,872 --> 00:15:01,007
Hey, Quagmire, how about one
of your famous sexual stories?

349
00:15:01,008 --> 00:15:02,242
Take a hike, Peter.

350
00:15:02,243 --> 00:15:04,411
Ah, oh, you-you mean
something Joe can't do?

351
00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:07,581
Friendly jokes indicating closeness.

352
00:15:07,582 --> 00:15:09,282
We heard about Stryker dying.

353
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:10,384
Ah, craps.

354
00:15:10,385 --> 00:15:11,585
Yeah, give it up.

355
00:15:11,586 --> 00:15:13,286
We know the only reason you're here

356
00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:15,389
is 'cause your cool friend is gone.

357
00:15:15,390 --> 00:15:17,624
That's right. We're not
your floppy seconds, Peter.

358
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:18,692
It's actually "sloppy."

359
00:15:18,693 --> 00:15:19,993
Well, for me, it's both.

360
00:15:19,994 --> 00:15:21,561
But listen, you really
hurt our feelings.

361
00:15:21,562 --> 00:15:23,730
You can't just treat us like
garbage and then expect us

362
00:15:23,731 --> 00:15:25,532
to take you back like nothing happened.

363
00:15:25,533 --> 00:15:28,368
Okay, that's-that's too bad
'cause that was kind of my plan.

364
00:15:28,369 --> 00:15:29,736
Well, you can go to hell, Peter.

365
00:15:29,737 --> 00:15:31,638
We're tired of you
taking us for granted.

366
00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:33,140
Yeah, and this isn't even the first time

367
00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:34,708
you ditched us for someone else.

368
00:15:34,709 --> 00:15:35,942
Remember when you blew us off

369
00:15:35,943 --> 00:15:37,927
to hang out with Jerry Seinfeld?

370
00:15:40,031 --> 00:15:42,816
Julia Louis-Dreyfus has
a lot of Emmys now.

371
00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:44,834
Yeah.

372
00:15:47,645 --> 00:15:50,229
Why did your wife steal that cookbook?

373
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:58,098
Peter, I'm sorry about
your friend Stryker.

374
00:15:58,099 --> 00:16:00,600
I know it's got to be hard
to watch a man explode

375
00:16:00,601 --> 00:16:02,235
like a bug on a windshield.

376
00:16:02,236 --> 00:16:03,537
No, it's not that...

377
00:16:03,538 --> 00:16:06,006
I mean, I do see that every
time I close my eyes...

378
00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:07,574
But it's the guys.

379
00:16:07,575 --> 00:16:09,443
They're really mad at
me, and I'm-I'm afraid

380
00:16:09,444 --> 00:16:11,478
they don't want to be
friends with me anymore.

381
00:16:11,479 --> 00:16:13,079
Well, it's hard to blame them.

382
00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:15,649
You treated them like you
don't even care about them.

383
00:16:15,650 --> 00:16:17,584
I do care about them.

384
00:16:17,585 --> 00:16:20,454
It's just, when I hung
around with Stryker,

385
00:16:20,455 --> 00:16:23,523
people thought I was cool,
and it-it felt good.

386
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:25,692
No one ever thinks I'm cool.

387
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:29,196
Your friends thought you were
cool, until you dumped them.

388
00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:32,065
Oh, wow, I guess you're right.

389
00:16:32,066 --> 00:16:34,534
I treated them like crap.

390
00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:37,170
I just got to find a way
to make it up to them.

391
00:16:37,171 --> 00:16:38,371
You got any ideas?

392
00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:41,341
Mom? Dad? Can Gary
Glitter, Jeffrey Jones

393
00:16:41,342 --> 00:16:43,526
and Jared from Subway spend the night?

394
00:16:45,363 --> 00:16:46,546
I don't know, Peter,

395
00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:48,348
but it's got to be something
really meaningful,

396
00:16:48,349 --> 00:16:50,016
because imagine how they feel.

397
00:16:50,017 --> 00:16:53,286
After all, you were willing to
jump off a cliff for Stryker.

398
00:16:53,287 --> 00:16:55,689
Well, they didn't say yes,
but they didn't say no.

399
00:16:55,690 --> 00:16:57,257
You're right.

400
00:16:57,258 --> 00:16:58,558
Thanks, Lois.

401
00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:02,145
And now I know exactly
what I have to do.

402
00:17:03,982 --> 00:17:05,499
Uh, where the hell are you going?

403
00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:07,434
Lois told me to go jump off a cliff

404
00:17:07,435 --> 00:17:09,069
to prove my friendship to the guys.

405
00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:11,738
Are-are you, are you sure
that's what she said?

406
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:13,740
I-I don't know, Brian. Her
shirt was kind of open.

407
00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:15,408
I was trying to get a peek down there.

408
00:17:15,409 --> 00:17:17,527
Anyway, I got to go jump off a cliff.

409
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:23,804
Peter, wait. H-Hold on. This is crazy!

410
00:17:24,519 --> 00:17:25,519
Damn it.

411
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,020
Where's Peter going?

412
00:17:27,021 --> 00:17:28,244
Huh?

413
00:17:28,856 --> 00:17:31,040
Oh, for God's sake.

414
00:17:37,916 --> 00:17:40,467
Hey, Quagmire, Cleveland and Joe.

415
00:17:40,468 --> 00:17:43,904
It's your buddy, Peter, and I'm
about to thread the needle

416
00:17:43,905 --> 00:17:46,172
to prove to you guys how sorry I am

417
00:17:46,173 --> 00:17:48,542
and that I'd do anything
to win you back.

418
00:17:48,543 --> 00:17:50,810
And if something goes wrong
and I don't survive,

419
00:17:50,811 --> 00:17:52,178
you can go ahead and delete

420
00:17:52,179 --> 00:17:54,281
the Kennedy Center Honors from my DVR.

421
00:17:54,282 --> 00:17:55,782
I'm-I'm never gonna watch that.

422
00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:58,151
Okay, here goes nothing.

423
00:17:58,152 --> 00:18:01,538
I just wish the sponsor on
msuit was a little cooler.

424
00:18:09,481 --> 00:18:10,830
Peter, stop!

425
00:18:10,831 --> 00:18:12,065
Don't jump!

426
00:18:12,066 --> 00:18:13,300
Brian told us you were gonna...

427
00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:14,801
Why are you wearing a douche suit?

428
00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:16,136
They also make wipes!

429
00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:17,637
They're not known for their wipes.

430
00:18:17,638 --> 00:18:19,406
Peter, you don't have
to jump off a cliff

431
00:18:19,407 --> 00:18:20,640
to prove you're sorry.

432
00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:22,809
Not all of us believe
that, but we took a vote

433
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:24,744
and I agreed I'd respect the majority.

434
00:18:24,745 --> 00:18:26,346
Look, you really treated us badly,

435
00:18:26,347 --> 00:18:27,847
but the fact that you'd be willing

436
00:18:27,848 --> 00:18:31,184
to literally risk your life just
to show us how much you care,

437
00:18:31,185 --> 00:18:33,420
well, that says a lot.

438
00:18:33,421 --> 00:18:36,089
Listen, I'm so sorry.

439
00:18:36,090 --> 00:18:39,426
If being cool means don't get
to hang out with you guys,

440
00:18:39,427 --> 00:18:41,761
then I don't ever want to be cool.

441
00:18:41,762 --> 00:18:45,098
What do you say? Can we just
go back to being friends?

442
00:18:45,099 --> 00:18:46,933
- Of course.
- You bet.

443
00:18:46,934 --> 00:18:48,168
Totes McGoats.

444
00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:50,236
"Totes McGoats"?

445
00:18:50,237 --> 00:18:52,439
Maybe you guys are cool. Fist bump.

446
00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:54,172
Ah, crap!

447
00:18:54,173 --> 00:18:55,509
- Oh, my God!
- Peter!

448
00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:57,310
Should I shoot him, make it go quicker?

449
00:18:57,311 --> 00:18:58,578
I got a shot.

450
00:18:58,579 --> 00:19:00,680
Too late. You didn't
answer quick enough.

451
00:19:10,642 --> 00:19:12,425
Hey, I'm doing it.

452
00:19:12,426 --> 00:19:14,294
This ain't so hard.

453
00:19:14,295 --> 00:19:16,296
Guys, I'm gonna do it!

454
00:19:16,297 --> 00:19:18,031
I'm gonna thread the needle!

455
00:19:18,032 --> 00:19:20,033
What? We can't hear you!

456
00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:21,851
We're very far away!

457
00:19:26,558 --> 00:19:28,441
Oh, my God, I did it!

458
00:19:28,442 --> 00:19:30,010
I was actually able to thread the...

459
00:19:30,011 --> 00:19:31,645
Oh, crap, Canadian goose.

460
00:19:31,646 --> 00:19:32,679
Look out, eh?

461
00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:37,951
Oh! Damn it! Ah! Son of a bitch!

462
00:19:45,159 --> 00:19:46,893
I think I'm okay.

463
00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:48,693
Ah, nickels!

464
00:19:52,684 --> 00:19:54,701
Well, it's good to be back, you guys.

465
00:19:54,702 --> 00:19:57,404
A-And I'm sorry again I
dumped you for Stryker.

466
00:19:57,405 --> 00:19:59,673
Who the hell is this Stryker
guy you keep talking about?

467
00:19:59,674 --> 00:20:00,907
What do you mean?

468
00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:02,842
He's that cool, handsome
guy I was friends with.

469
00:20:02,843 --> 00:20:05,578
He's the whole reason I went
wingsuiting and hurt my head.

470
00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:06,913
Wingsuiting?

471
00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:09,382
Peter, you hurt your head
in a ladies' bathroom.

472
00:20:09,383 --> 00:20:11,885
Yeah, your legs fell asleep and
you bashed it against a sink.

473
00:20:11,886 --> 00:20:13,753
You were in a coma for two weeks.

474
00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:16,556
You must've dreamed about
this Stryker or something.

475
00:20:16,557 --> 00:20:17,857
No, we were buddies.

476
00:20:17,858 --> 00:20:19,526
We rode on his motorcycle.

477
00:20:19,527 --> 00:20:22,495
And he introduced me to
1997 George Clooney.

478
00:20:22,496 --> 00:20:24,998
Okay, well, right there you
should've known it wasn't real.

479
00:20:24,999 --> 00:20:26,332
Huh.

480
00:20:26,333 --> 00:20:28,134
Well, whether it was real or not,

481
00:20:28,135 --> 00:20:32,005
I want you to know you are the
best friends I've ever had.

482
00:20:32,006 --> 00:20:33,573
Of course we know that, Peter.

483
00:20:33,574 --> 00:20:35,341
Yeah, and we feel the same way.

484
00:20:35,342 --> 00:20:37,477
Hey, this is a really weird question,

485
00:20:37,478 --> 00:20:39,847
but do you boys want to go out dancing?

486
00:20:40,514 --> 00:20:41,642
That night,

487
00:20:41,643 --> 00:20:43,883
we danced until the sun came up.

488
00:20:43,884 --> 00:20:45,752
We forgot all about my coma

489
00:20:45,753 --> 00:20:47,887
and my crazy dream about a cool guy.

490
00:20:47,888 --> 00:20:50,123
We were just four middle-aged men

491
00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:52,692
doing Ecstasy at a Mexican prom.

492
00:20:52,693 --> 00:20:54,944
I'm Peter Griffin, and
these are my stories.

493
00:20:54,945 --> 00:20:56,193
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com