1 00:00:06,249 --> 00:00:08,041 Garden's looking nice. 2 00:00:08,042 --> 00:00:12,755 Well, not to commit the sin of pride, but I know. 3 00:00:12,756 --> 00:00:14,423 How did you come out of me? 4 00:00:14,424 --> 00:00:15,715 So, good news. 5 00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:17,441 John's coming home on Friday. 6 00:00:17,442 --> 00:00:18,833 That's wonderful. 7 00:00:18,834 --> 00:00:20,258 It is. 8 00:00:20,259 --> 00:00:21,616 You must be thrilled. 9 00:00:21,617 --> 00:00:23,692 Oh, I am. 10 00:00:23,693 --> 00:00:25,585 Mm. Little nervous? 11 00:00:25,586 --> 00:00:27,107 No. No. 12 00:00:27,108 --> 00:00:28,299 No. 13 00:00:28,300 --> 00:00:30,321 Be understandable if you were. 14 00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:33,825 The man has been in a mental institution. 15 00:00:33,826 --> 00:00:36,394 All I know is he sounded like himself on the phone, 16 00:00:36,395 --> 00:00:38,963 and the doctors say he's good to go. 17 00:00:38,964 --> 00:00:40,932 Well, that's great. 18 00:00:40,933 --> 00:00:44,202 It is. I'm excited. 19 00:00:44,203 --> 00:00:46,137 Well, good. 20 00:00:46,138 --> 00:00:48,940 Very excited. 21 00:00:48,941 --> 00:00:50,608 Okay. 22 00:00:50,609 --> 00:00:52,277 I'm gonna get another beer. 23 00:00:52,278 --> 00:00:54,079 'Cause you're so excited? 24 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:56,314 You know it! 25 00:00:56,315 --> 00:00:59,250 ? Nobody else is stronger than I am ? 26 00:00:59,251 --> 00:01:01,853 ? Yesterday I moved a mountain ? 27 00:01:01,854 --> 00:01:04,556 ? I bet I could be your hero ? 28 00:01:04,557 --> 00:01:07,582 ? I am a mighty little man ? 29 00:01:07,583 --> 00:01:11,252 ? I am a mighty little man. ? 30 00:01:11,253 --> 00:01:13,565 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 31 00:01:13,566 --> 00:01:14,999 We need to have a talk. 32 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:17,001 Georgie, get in here! 33 00:01:17,002 --> 00:01:18,303 Are we in trouble? 34 00:01:18,304 --> 00:01:19,928 No one's in trouble. 35 00:01:19,929 --> 00:01:21,606 - What's going on? - Have a seat. 36 00:01:21,607 --> 00:01:23,162 You're also getting talked to. 37 00:01:23,163 --> 00:01:24,676 Sit. 38 00:01:24,677 --> 00:01:25,877 Ha. 39 00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:26,945 Okay, 40 00:01:26,946 --> 00:01:30,081 Dr. Sturgis will be joining us for dinner. 41 00:01:30,082 --> 00:01:31,282 Hot darn. 42 00:01:31,283 --> 00:01:32,484 That guy's back? 43 00:01:32,485 --> 00:01:33,952 I thought he was in the nut house. 44 00:01:33,953 --> 00:01:35,420 We do not call it that. 45 00:01:35,421 --> 00:01:36,988 That's what Dad calls it. 46 00:01:36,989 --> 00:01:38,490 And that's why I made him sit. 47 00:01:38,491 --> 00:01:42,393 We need to make sure that Dr. Sturgis feels comfortable. 48 00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:43,895 And how are we supposed to do that? 49 00:01:43,896 --> 00:01:47,232 For starters, do not bring up his time in the hospital. 50 00:01:47,233 --> 00:01:48,566 What if he brings it up? 51 00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:51,236 You let the grown-ups handle that. 52 00:01:51,237 --> 00:01:53,571 In this scenario, am I one of the grown-ups? 53 00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:54,772 No. 54 00:01:54,773 --> 00:01:56,883 - Great. - You also will not 55 00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:58,309 stare at him during dinner. 56 00:01:58,310 --> 00:01:59,944 Can I look at him at all? 57 00:01:59,945 --> 00:02:01,079 Yes. 58 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:03,515 How long can I look at him before it's considered staring? 59 00:02:03,516 --> 00:02:05,396 When I'm trying not to stare at girls, 60 00:02:05,397 --> 00:02:07,085 my rule is "two Mississippi". 61 00:02:07,086 --> 00:02:08,319 I taught him that. 62 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:11,456 Just be on your best behavior. 63 00:02:11,457 --> 00:02:13,791 And if you're not sure if you should say something, 64 00:02:13,792 --> 00:02:15,660 do not say it. 65 00:02:17,729 --> 00:02:19,764 - What? - Hey, it works. 66 00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:22,300 When I hit three Mississippis, she noticed. 67 00:02:22,301 --> 00:02:23,301 See? 68 00:02:23,302 --> 00:02:25,470 Told you. 69 00:02:27,239 --> 00:02:29,440 Meemaw and Dr. Sturgis are out front. 70 00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:31,743 They're walking up the path. 71 00:02:31,744 --> 00:02:33,444 They see me. 72 00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:35,013 I'm waving. 73 00:02:35,014 --> 00:02:37,248 They waved back. 74 00:02:37,249 --> 00:02:39,751 They're close to the door. 75 00:02:39,752 --> 00:02:41,452 Even closer. 76 00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:43,154 Almost there. 77 00:02:43,155 --> 00:02:44,556 Door... 78 00:02:44,557 --> 00:02:46,257 ... bell! 79 00:02:46,258 --> 00:02:48,293 Remember everything we talked about. 80 00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:49,827 Welcome! 81 00:02:49,828 --> 00:02:51,596 Look who I brought! 82 00:02:51,597 --> 00:02:53,031 Hello! 83 00:02:53,032 --> 00:02:54,566 Come in, come in. 84 00:02:54,567 --> 00:02:56,501 It's so good to see you. 85 00:02:56,502 --> 00:02:58,269 I don't normally do this, but... 86 00:02:58,270 --> 00:02:59,771 put her there. 87 00:02:59,772 --> 00:03:01,437 No mitten. 88 00:03:01,438 --> 00:03:02,640 I'm honored. 89 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,349 It's just so wonderful to see you all again. 90 00:03:11,350 --> 00:03:13,412 We've been looking forward to it. 91 00:03:13,413 --> 00:03:14,419 We sure have. 92 00:03:14,420 --> 00:03:15,820 One Mississippi, 93 00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:17,288 two Mississippi. 94 00:03:19,959 --> 00:03:22,327 Uh, why are you counting? 95 00:03:22,328 --> 00:03:24,762 You know Shelly. He loves his numbers. 96 00:03:24,763 --> 00:03:25,763 Let's say grace. 97 00:03:27,032 --> 00:03:30,401 Bless us, Lord, for the food we are about to receive 98 00:03:30,402 --> 00:03:32,963 and bless the hands that prepared it. Amen. 99 00:03:32,964 --> 00:03:35,039 - Amen. - Dig in. 100 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:38,130 Oh, I am so excited to have a home-cooked meal. 101 00:03:38,131 --> 00:03:42,159 The food in the hospital was bland-arino. 102 00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:47,114 Uh, be sure to save room for dessert. 103 00:03:47,115 --> 00:03:48,411 I made banana pudding. 104 00:03:48,412 --> 00:03:50,747 George, tell him how good my banana pudding is. 105 00:03:50,748 --> 00:03:52,749 Good pudding. 106 00:03:52,750 --> 00:03:54,217 Lot of bananas. 107 00:03:54,218 --> 00:03:57,287 Well, now, pardon me if I'm wrong, but... 108 00:03:57,288 --> 00:04:01,291 I would totally understand if any of you felt uncomfortable 109 00:04:01,292 --> 00:04:03,792 about me being here after my time 110 00:04:03,793 --> 00:04:04,828 in the hospital. 111 00:04:04,829 --> 00:04:06,893 Oh, no, we're very comfortable. 112 00:04:06,894 --> 00:04:08,295 Very comfortable. 113 00:04:08,296 --> 00:04:10,737 Well, just in case, 114 00:04:10,738 --> 00:04:11,975 I want you all to know 115 00:04:11,976 --> 00:04:15,081 I'm perfectly happy to answer any questions 116 00:04:15,082 --> 00:04:16,380 that you might have. 117 00:04:17,482 --> 00:04:19,616 You sure you want to do that? 118 00:04:19,617 --> 00:04:20,617 Of course. 119 00:04:20,618 --> 00:04:23,689 The best way to destigmatize something 120 00:04:23,690 --> 00:04:24,821 is to talk about it. 121 00:04:25,823 --> 00:04:27,023 May I? 122 00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:30,961 Um, go ahead. 123 00:04:32,749 --> 00:04:36,075 Why wasn't I allowed to visit you? 124 00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:37,834 Some of the other patients there 125 00:04:37,835 --> 00:04:39,602 were very unwell, 126 00:04:39,603 --> 00:04:44,140 and I didn't want you to be disturbed by their behavior. 127 00:04:45,250 --> 00:04:46,451 I got one. 128 00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:47,685 Here we go. 129 00:04:47,686 --> 00:04:49,587 Did they lock you up in a room? 130 00:04:49,588 --> 00:04:51,999 I wasn't able to leave the hospital 131 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,443 without being discharged, 132 00:04:53,444 --> 00:04:56,513 but I was free to walk the grounds. 133 00:04:57,563 --> 00:04:59,897 How did you know when you were all better? 134 00:04:59,898 --> 00:05:01,566 Well, it's not like a cold, 135 00:05:01,567 --> 00:05:03,668 where you have it and then you don't. 136 00:05:03,669 --> 00:05:06,444 But I've learned skills that, uh, 137 00:05:06,445 --> 00:05:08,940 help me to manage my mental health. 138 00:05:08,941 --> 00:05:11,476 Well, that went over my head. 139 00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:12,910 I got another one. 140 00:05:12,911 --> 00:05:15,144 In The Shining, Jack Nicholson goes nuts 141 00:05:15,145 --> 00:05:16,914 and chases people around with an ax... 142 00:05:16,915 --> 00:05:19,095 - One question each. - Dang it. 143 00:05:19,096 --> 00:05:21,164 Should've started with that one. 144 00:05:22,318 --> 00:05:24,009 How 'bout a little nightcap? 145 00:05:24,010 --> 00:05:25,623 Oh, I don't think so. 146 00:05:25,624 --> 00:05:27,959 Got to ride the old bike home. 147 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,093 Oh? 148 00:05:29,094 --> 00:05:31,195 I thought you were staying the night. 149 00:05:31,196 --> 00:05:33,665 I wasn't planning on it. 150 00:05:34,466 --> 00:05:35,667 Oh. 151 00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:37,468 Okay. 152 00:05:37,469 --> 00:05:39,904 Now that we're talking about this, um, 153 00:05:39,905 --> 00:05:43,775 we've never really discussed the status of our relationship. 154 00:05:43,776 --> 00:05:46,544 Don't you worry. 155 00:05:47,646 --> 00:05:50,448 As far as I'm concerned, we just... 156 00:05:50,449 --> 00:05:53,651 pick up right where we left off. 157 00:05:54,453 --> 00:05:56,154 That means a lot. 158 00:05:56,155 --> 00:05:57,789 But, um... 159 00:05:57,790 --> 00:06:00,725 I think it's for the best if we don't. 160 00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:04,662 - What? - I hope we can still be friends. 161 00:06:04,663 --> 00:06:07,274 But, um, I don't think 162 00:06:07,275 --> 00:06:10,334 we should be in a romantic relationship anymore. 163 00:06:10,335 --> 00:06:11,536 Are you crazy? 164 00:06:11,537 --> 00:06:13,971 I mean, poor choice of words, but... 165 00:06:13,972 --> 00:06:15,573 are you crazy?! 166 00:06:19,892 --> 00:06:23,161 Do you... I... Do you mean you-you really 167 00:06:23,162 --> 00:06:24,996 don't want to see me anymore? 168 00:06:24,997 --> 00:06:27,265 Don't I get a say in that? 169 00:06:27,266 --> 00:06:28,466 Um... 170 00:06:28,467 --> 00:06:29,467 No. 171 00:06:29,468 --> 00:06:32,361 Really? I-I kind of think I do. 172 00:06:32,362 --> 00:06:34,885 Connie, if I'm single and have another episode, 173 00:06:34,886 --> 00:06:35,973 it only hurts me. 174 00:06:35,974 --> 00:06:38,073 If we're together, that hurts you, 175 00:06:38,074 --> 00:06:39,978 and I can't do that again. 176 00:06:39,979 --> 00:06:43,982 I have been waiting for you this whole time. 177 00:06:43,983 --> 00:06:46,250 Just more proof that you're a wonderful woman 178 00:06:46,251 --> 00:06:48,586 and you deserve someone you can count on. 179 00:06:49,955 --> 00:06:52,890 How about Ira from the furniture store? 180 00:06:52,891 --> 00:06:53,958 He's a catch. 181 00:06:53,959 --> 00:06:56,594 Now you're gonna play matchmaker for me? 182 00:06:56,595 --> 00:06:58,229 I suppose I am. 183 00:06:58,230 --> 00:07:01,766 You realize I could call him right now. 184 00:07:01,767 --> 00:07:03,034 I think you should. 185 00:07:03,035 --> 00:07:05,036 You better mean it, 'cause I'll do it. 186 00:07:05,037 --> 00:07:07,005 No time like the present. 187 00:07:10,275 --> 00:07:11,609 I'm doing it. 188 00:07:13,879 --> 00:07:15,546 I'm dialing. 189 00:07:15,547 --> 00:07:16,981 Great. 190 00:07:21,453 --> 00:07:22,654 It's ringing. 191 00:07:22,655 --> 00:07:24,322 Tell him I said hi. 192 00:07:27,011 --> 00:07:29,281 Rosenbloom's Fine Furniture. Ira speaking. 193 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,129 Hello, Ira. 194 00:07:31,130 --> 00:07:33,698 It's Connie Tucker. 195 00:07:33,699 --> 00:07:36,067 Connie. Oh, my gosh. 196 00:07:36,068 --> 00:07:37,268 How are you? 197 00:07:37,269 --> 00:07:39,570 He wants to know how I am. 198 00:07:39,571 --> 00:07:41,105 Tell him. 199 00:07:41,106 --> 00:07:43,574 I'll call you back. 200 00:07:45,110 --> 00:07:46,549 Can you believe it? 201 00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:49,013 It sounds like he has your best interests at heart. 202 00:07:49,014 --> 00:07:50,982 Men don't break up with me. 203 00:07:50,983 --> 00:07:52,350 I do the breaking up. 204 00:07:52,351 --> 00:07:55,586 Well, I think it's nice that you can still experience new things 205 00:07:55,587 --> 00:07:56,621 at your age. 206 00:07:56,622 --> 00:07:58,923 Keep it up, and you won't get to my age. 207 00:07:58,924 --> 00:08:01,059 So, are you gonna go out with Ira? 208 00:08:01,060 --> 00:08:02,927 Well, I don't know why not. 209 00:08:02,928 --> 00:08:04,769 Is that really what you want? 210 00:08:04,770 --> 00:08:07,323 Well, I'm sure as hell not gonna sit home by myself 211 00:08:07,324 --> 00:08:08,763 while I try and figure it out. 212 00:08:08,764 --> 00:08:11,436 Doesn't sound like you're being nice to Ira. 213 00:08:11,437 --> 00:08:14,105 She's not nice. Been saying it for years. 214 00:08:18,633 --> 00:08:20,424 Mom, 215 00:08:20,425 --> 00:08:22,513 will Dr. Sturgis be coming over again? 216 00:08:22,514 --> 00:08:24,382 Oh. Um... 217 00:08:24,383 --> 00:08:26,555 - I don't know. - He should. 218 00:08:26,556 --> 00:08:28,726 We had so much fun talking about the mental hospital, 219 00:08:28,727 --> 00:08:30,421 we barely got to talk about science. 220 00:08:30,422 --> 00:08:32,824 Well, I don't know what his plans are. 221 00:08:32,825 --> 00:08:34,559 Is Meemaw coming for dinner tonight? 222 00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:36,394 No. She is busy. 223 00:08:36,395 --> 00:08:39,078 With Dr. Sturgis? Maybe I can join them. 224 00:08:39,079 --> 00:08:41,083 All my fun facts make me a welcome addition 225 00:08:41,084 --> 00:08:42,166 to any dinner date. 226 00:08:43,571 --> 00:08:45,939 She's not gonna be with Dr. Sturgis, sweetie. 227 00:08:45,940 --> 00:08:49,009 Then I don't understand why I can't invite him over. 228 00:08:51,812 --> 00:08:56,449 Your meemaw and Dr. Sturgis are... 229 00:08:56,450 --> 00:08:59,709 figuring out how their relationship is gonna work 230 00:08:59,710 --> 00:09:00,787 now that he's back. 231 00:09:00,788 --> 00:09:04,324 Why does their relationship need to be any different? 232 00:09:05,159 --> 00:09:07,093 It's complicated. 233 00:09:07,929 --> 00:09:10,363 So, we can't have him over? 234 00:09:10,364 --> 00:09:13,566 Sorry. It's just not a good idea right now. 235 00:09:13,567 --> 00:09:15,635 This isn't fair. 236 00:09:15,636 --> 00:09:19,366 I find the one person in Texas who understands me 237 00:09:19,367 --> 00:09:21,835 and now I'm not allowed to see him? 238 00:09:21,836 --> 00:09:24,004 Hello! 239 00:09:24,005 --> 00:09:27,407 - Come in. - So, uh, Connie is, uh, 240 00:09:27,408 --> 00:09:29,676 okay with my being here? 241 00:09:29,677 --> 00:09:32,330 Don't worry about it or, you know, mention it. 242 00:09:32,331 --> 00:09:34,314 Well, here's a pineapple. 243 00:09:34,315 --> 00:09:36,419 It's a symbol of hospitality 244 00:09:36,420 --> 00:09:38,797 dating back to the 1700s. 245 00:09:38,798 --> 00:09:40,665 Thank you. How... 246 00:09:40,666 --> 00:09:42,367 tropical. 247 00:09:42,368 --> 00:09:45,207 Dr. Sturgis, hello! 248 00:09:45,208 --> 00:09:46,561 Hi! 249 00:09:46,562 --> 00:09:50,275 Ooh. Did you know the pineapple is a symbol of hospitality? 250 00:09:50,276 --> 00:09:52,010 As a matter of fact, I did. 251 00:09:52,011 --> 00:09:54,245 You're welcome! 252 00:09:55,081 --> 00:09:56,381 I got to tell you, 253 00:09:56,382 --> 00:09:59,250 this is an unexpected surprise. 254 00:09:59,251 --> 00:10:01,453 Here's to surprises. 255 00:10:02,888 --> 00:10:04,622 'Cause last I heard, 256 00:10:04,623 --> 00:10:06,191 you and John were still going out. 257 00:10:06,192 --> 00:10:07,859 Well, now I'm not, and I'm here with you, 258 00:10:07,860 --> 00:10:09,661 so let's not talk about him. 259 00:10:09,662 --> 00:10:12,464 Ooh. Sounds like this breakup is a little fresh. 260 00:10:12,465 --> 00:10:13,932 Yeah, it was pretty recent. 261 00:10:13,933 --> 00:10:15,133 What, like, a week? Month? 262 00:10:15,134 --> 00:10:17,608 Literally as I was calling you. 263 00:10:17,609 --> 00:10:21,072 Well, I'm glad that I was the first person that came to mind. 264 00:10:21,073 --> 00:10:23,675 Actually, you were his idea. 265 00:10:23,676 --> 00:10:25,477 Still glad. 266 00:10:28,370 --> 00:10:30,495 Really? This again? 267 00:10:30,496 --> 00:10:32,217 Just sit. 268 00:10:32,218 --> 00:10:33,651 Where's Meemaw? 269 00:10:33,652 --> 00:10:35,077 Not here tonight. 270 00:10:35,078 --> 00:10:37,217 - Why? - As I understand it, 271 00:10:37,218 --> 00:10:39,443 now that Dr. Sturgis is back from the hospital, 272 00:10:39,444 --> 00:10:40,835 he and Meemaw are figuring out 273 00:10:40,836 --> 00:10:42,761 how their relationship is going to work. 274 00:10:42,762 --> 00:10:44,095 What does that mean? 275 00:10:44,096 --> 00:10:45,730 Sounds like she dumped him. 276 00:10:45,731 --> 00:10:48,233 - Actually, he's the one... - Sheldon, didn't you want 277 00:10:48,234 --> 00:10:50,268 - to talk about science stuff? - Yes. 278 00:10:50,269 --> 00:10:51,770 - Good. Do that right now. - Well, 279 00:10:51,771 --> 00:10:55,197 I realize being here after ending 280 00:10:55,198 --> 00:10:58,309 my romantic relationship with Connie is unusual. 281 00:10:58,310 --> 00:11:00,432 So, as before, 282 00:11:00,433 --> 00:11:01,729 I'm perfectly happy 283 00:11:01,730 --> 00:11:05,370 to answer any questions that you might have. 284 00:11:05,371 --> 00:11:06,596 I have a question. 285 00:11:06,597 --> 00:11:08,520 Can I eat in front of the TV? 286 00:11:08,521 --> 00:11:10,388 Sure. 287 00:11:10,389 --> 00:11:12,157 Let's get back to The Shining. 288 00:11:12,158 --> 00:11:16,227 When them elevator doors open, oh, man. 289 00:11:21,369 --> 00:11:23,139 Let me get this straight. Your boyfriend 290 00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:24,540 comes home from the mental hospital, 291 00:11:24,541 --> 00:11:25,641 he dumps you, 292 00:11:25,642 --> 00:11:27,737 and he suggests that you go out with me? 293 00:11:27,738 --> 00:11:30,312 - Yeah. - Sounds like a spite date. 294 00:11:30,313 --> 00:11:33,338 Well, gosh, when you say it like that, doesn't sound great. 295 00:11:33,339 --> 00:11:34,885 No. No, no, I'm fine with it. I just... 296 00:11:34,886 --> 00:11:36,487 I want to make sure I got everything right. 297 00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:38,989 Hospital, dumped, spite. 298 00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:40,257 You got it. 299 00:11:40,258 --> 00:11:43,494 All right. I hear the creamed spinach is terrific. 300 00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:45,829 How do relationships work for old people? 301 00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:48,566 When you were young, you didn't think old women looked hot. 302 00:11:48,567 --> 00:11:50,801 But now that you're old, do you? 303 00:11:50,802 --> 00:11:53,170 Well, that's a very interesting question. 304 00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:55,205 Can I speak to you in the kitchen? 305 00:11:55,206 --> 00:11:57,241 - I want to hear the answer. - I've always found 306 00:11:57,242 --> 00:12:00,411 your grandmother to be very hot stuff. 307 00:12:00,412 --> 00:12:01,569 All right, let's go. 308 00:12:01,570 --> 00:12:03,714 But you can see her wrinkles, right? 309 00:12:03,715 --> 00:12:06,350 Why don't you take John to a bar or something? 310 00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:08,986 - Why? - 'Cause the children don't need to hear 311 00:12:08,987 --> 00:12:11,055 about how attractive he finds their grandmother. 312 00:12:11,056 --> 00:12:12,523 Why don't you take him out? 313 00:12:12,524 --> 00:12:15,759 Fine. You make sure the kids take baths and get to bed. 314 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:18,896 Oh, and Sheldon needs his fingernails trimmed. 315 00:12:18,897 --> 00:12:21,332 Hey, John, what do you say you and I go grab a beer? 316 00:12:21,333 --> 00:12:23,602 But we haven't cut open the pineapple yet. 317 00:12:23,603 --> 00:12:25,002 You boys go ahead. 318 00:12:25,003 --> 00:12:26,604 We'll eat the pineapple another time. 319 00:12:26,605 --> 00:12:29,088 But we haven't had a chance to talk about science. 320 00:12:29,089 --> 00:12:30,414 Ooh, can Sheldon come? 321 00:12:30,415 --> 00:12:32,309 - Can I? - No. 322 00:12:32,310 --> 00:12:33,587 - Aw. - Aw. 323 00:12:33,588 --> 00:12:35,112 So, enough about me. 324 00:12:35,113 --> 00:12:37,448 - What's been going on in your life? - Oh, boy. Well, 325 00:12:37,449 --> 00:12:38,816 after you and I broke up, 326 00:12:38,817 --> 00:12:40,684 I took the opportunity to work on myself. 327 00:12:40,685 --> 00:12:42,307 Started playing tennis again. 328 00:12:42,308 --> 00:12:44,421 Uh, I-I bought a telescope, which is pretty cool 329 00:12:44,422 --> 00:12:46,890 because you-you got to see the Moon all big and things. 330 00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,183 And, uh, I-I tried 331 00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:50,561 Vietnamese food for the first time, which did not go well. 332 00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:51,795 Oh, very spicy. 333 00:12:51,796 --> 00:12:53,130 You wouldn't believe the heartburn. 334 00:12:53,131 --> 00:12:55,199 Not enough Tums in the world. 335 00:12:59,437 --> 00:13:02,139 This is wonderful. 336 00:13:02,140 --> 00:13:06,110 Did you know the term "dive bar" originated 337 00:13:06,111 --> 00:13:09,615 because many establishments were below street level, 338 00:13:09,616 --> 00:13:14,451 and patrons had to essentially dive down to enter them. 339 00:13:14,452 --> 00:13:15,953 Didn't know that. 340 00:13:15,954 --> 00:13:17,855 Well, now you do. 341 00:13:17,856 --> 00:13:19,089 Hey, George. 342 00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:20,524 - Who's your friend? - Hey, Nate. 343 00:13:20,525 --> 00:13:22,760 This is John Sturgis. 344 00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:24,862 He's a scientist. 345 00:13:24,863 --> 00:13:27,231 Pleased to make your acquaintance, Nate. 346 00:13:27,232 --> 00:13:28,666 What can I get you? 347 00:13:28,667 --> 00:13:31,335 Um, do you have sarsaparilla? 348 00:13:31,336 --> 00:13:33,537 Two beers. We'll take two beers. 349 00:13:34,642 --> 00:13:36,252 I must admit, after the breakup, 350 00:13:36,253 --> 00:13:39,376 I was worried, but now that Dr. Sturgis and Dad are friends, 351 00:13:39,377 --> 00:13:40,693 we'll be seeing even more of him. 352 00:13:40,694 --> 00:13:42,452 How do we see less of him? 353 00:13:42,453 --> 00:13:44,214 That is not nice. 354 00:13:44,215 --> 00:13:46,116 Sorry, but I'm on Meemaw's side. 355 00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:48,252 She got me a two-piece bathing suit. 356 00:13:48,253 --> 00:13:49,300 I didn't realize 357 00:13:49,301 --> 00:13:50,826 we were expected to take sides. 358 00:13:50,827 --> 00:13:52,385 No one needs to take sides. 359 00:13:52,386 --> 00:13:54,391 When Heather M.'s parents got divorced, 360 00:13:54,392 --> 00:13:55,833 she said it was like picking sides, 361 00:13:55,834 --> 00:13:57,208 but you get twice the presents. 362 00:13:57,209 --> 00:13:58,433 This isn't a divorce. 363 00:13:58,434 --> 00:13:59,625 And I'm sure Meemaw 364 00:13:59,626 --> 00:14:01,398 and Dr. Sturgis will still be friends. 365 00:14:01,399 --> 00:14:03,300 Heather M.'s parents aren't friends. 366 00:14:03,301 --> 00:14:05,169 But now she's got Barbie's DreamHouse 367 00:14:05,170 --> 00:14:07,371 and the pink Corvette. 368 00:14:08,476 --> 00:14:10,310 You heard me. 369 00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:13,477 - Mmm. - Oh, thank you. 370 00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:15,512 That looks amazing. I love ice cream. 371 00:14:15,513 --> 00:14:17,014 Did you know 372 00:14:17,015 --> 00:14:19,850 that they used to use the anal glands of beavers 373 00:14:19,851 --> 00:14:21,719 to make it taste like vanilla? 374 00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:23,978 No. Where'd you hear that? 375 00:14:23,979 --> 00:14:26,190 I understand it's difficult 376 00:14:26,191 --> 00:14:29,193 to, uh, milk the little sacs. 377 00:14:30,328 --> 00:14:33,464 It's just something I picked up along the way. 378 00:14:33,465 --> 00:14:34,898 You okay? 379 00:14:34,899 --> 00:14:36,400 Yeah. 380 00:14:36,401 --> 00:14:38,289 Let's eat pie. 381 00:14:38,290 --> 00:14:40,037 And maybe not the ice cream. 382 00:14:42,374 --> 00:14:43,732 Can you believe 383 00:14:43,733 --> 00:14:46,577 Connie was my first girlfriend? 384 00:14:46,578 --> 00:14:48,178 Really? 385 00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:51,014 And probably my last. 386 00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:52,983 Come on, don't talk like that. 387 00:14:52,984 --> 00:14:54,685 No, it's true. 388 00:14:54,686 --> 00:14:56,120 She may not realize it, 389 00:14:56,121 --> 00:14:58,789 but this is all for the best. 390 00:14:58,790 --> 00:15:01,425 I'm damaged goods. 391 00:15:01,426 --> 00:15:03,127 No, you're not. 392 00:15:03,128 --> 00:15:06,630 It had just been so long since I'd had an episode. 393 00:15:06,631 --> 00:15:08,365 I thought I was okay. 394 00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:11,168 But, clearly, I'm not, 395 00:15:11,169 --> 00:15:14,338 and, uh, who knows if it'll happen again. 396 00:15:14,339 --> 00:15:18,075 And, uh, I just can't take the risk 397 00:15:18,076 --> 00:15:19,977 of putting Connie through that. 398 00:15:19,978 --> 00:15:21,912 Hey, she's got problems, too. 399 00:15:21,913 --> 00:15:25,321 I've seen her take a wine cooler out of the trash and finish it. 400 00:15:26,547 --> 00:15:28,852 - I'm not joking. - Well, 401 00:15:28,853 --> 00:15:30,754 thank you for listening. 402 00:15:30,755 --> 00:15:32,589 My pleasure. 403 00:15:32,590 --> 00:15:35,926 And if you want to talk about your relationship with Mary, 404 00:15:35,927 --> 00:15:38,362 I'm all ears. 405 00:15:38,363 --> 00:15:42,199 Intimacy issues, communication difficulties, 406 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:43,602 problems in the bedroom... 407 00:15:43,603 --> 00:15:45,094 Hey! Pool table's open. 408 00:15:45,095 --> 00:15:47,230 Ah! Wonderful! 409 00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:51,175 But if you did get a divorce, 410 00:15:51,176 --> 00:15:53,000 how many American Girl dolls could I get? 411 00:15:53,001 --> 00:15:55,045 Your father and I aren't getting a divorce. 412 00:15:55,046 --> 00:15:56,880 But more than one, right? 413 00:15:56,881 --> 00:16:00,350 Are there any questions that aren't about divorce? 414 00:16:00,351 --> 00:16:02,386 Nope. Sheldon? 415 00:16:03,454 --> 00:16:05,322 Is it difficult to see your mother 416 00:16:05,323 --> 00:16:07,691 go out with men who aren't your father? 417 00:16:07,692 --> 00:16:09,359 Wow. 418 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:11,695 That's a big one. 419 00:16:11,696 --> 00:16:13,463 Um... 420 00:16:13,464 --> 00:16:16,800 I suppose it took some getting used to, 421 00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:19,264 but she's a grown-up, 422 00:16:19,265 --> 00:16:21,505 and even though Pop-Pop passed away, 423 00:16:21,506 --> 00:16:23,740 she deserves to be happy. 424 00:16:23,741 --> 00:16:25,475 Just so you know, 425 00:16:25,476 --> 00:16:28,679 I'd be happy with one American Girl doll. 426 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:30,113 And we're done. 427 00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:31,715 Thank you so much, Ira. 428 00:16:31,716 --> 00:16:34,017 I really needed this. 429 00:16:34,018 --> 00:16:35,472 You're welcome. 430 00:16:35,473 --> 00:16:36,820 We should do it again. 431 00:16:36,821 --> 00:16:38,555 What's your Friday night look like? 432 00:16:38,556 --> 00:16:39,834 Oh, no, Friday's no good 433 00:16:39,835 --> 00:16:41,558 'cause we're doing inventory at the store. 434 00:16:41,559 --> 00:16:44,228 Oh, okay. Well, how about the weekend? 435 00:16:44,229 --> 00:16:47,164 No, no, no, that's not good for me, either. 436 00:16:47,999 --> 00:16:50,267 Are you blowing me off? 437 00:16:50,268 --> 00:16:52,236 Is it that obvious? 438 00:16:52,237 --> 00:16:54,471 Well, I don't understand why. 439 00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:56,740 I mean, I-I thought we had a nice time. 440 00:16:56,741 --> 00:16:57,941 Oh, we did. 441 00:16:57,942 --> 00:16:59,509 But you're still hung up on John, 442 00:16:59,510 --> 00:17:01,311 and I don't want to have my heart broken again, 443 00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:04,581 so I'm gonna respectfully pass. 444 00:17:06,618 --> 00:17:08,252 Unbelievable. 445 00:17:08,253 --> 00:17:11,388 I know. It turns out I do have a shred of dignity. 446 00:17:11,389 --> 00:17:13,523 I'm as surprised as you are. 447 00:17:14,759 --> 00:17:17,828 I'm not having a good week. 448 00:17:17,829 --> 00:17:19,329 Have you played much pool? 449 00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:22,299 Oh, in my undergraduate days, all the time. 450 00:17:22,300 --> 00:17:24,968 It's just physics and geometry. 451 00:17:24,969 --> 00:17:26,503 Is that so? 452 00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:29,139 I calculate the angles in my head. 453 00:17:29,140 --> 00:17:30,874 Sometimes in radians, 454 00:17:30,875 --> 00:17:32,643 sometimes in degrees, 455 00:17:32,644 --> 00:17:35,312 depending on my level of whimsy. 456 00:17:35,313 --> 00:17:38,382 I'm a radians man myself. 457 00:17:38,383 --> 00:17:39,716 That's a joke? 458 00:17:39,717 --> 00:17:40,918 Supposed to be. 459 00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:44,254 Oh, life is funny. 460 00:17:44,255 --> 00:17:47,691 A week ago, I was in a mental institution, 461 00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:50,005 and now I'm laughing it up 462 00:17:50,006 --> 00:17:51,595 in a dive bar. 463 00:17:51,596 --> 00:17:53,397 Not just any dive bar. 464 00:17:53,398 --> 00:17:55,232 One where everyone knows me. 465 00:17:55,233 --> 00:17:59,069 And they are lucky that they do. 466 00:18:01,306 --> 00:18:02,706 Excuse me! 467 00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:04,041 Everyone! 468 00:18:04,042 --> 00:18:07,511 - Oh, boy. - I would like to propose a toast 469 00:18:07,512 --> 00:18:08,979 to George Cooper. 470 00:18:08,980 --> 00:18:10,764 I don't mind telling you 471 00:18:10,765 --> 00:18:14,017 I'm going through a bit of a rough patch, 472 00:18:14,018 --> 00:18:16,019 and this man went 473 00:18:16,020 --> 00:18:18,789 out of his way to take me here 474 00:18:18,790 --> 00:18:21,291 and listen to my woes. 475 00:18:21,292 --> 00:18:24,394 And George and I don't even know each other that well. 476 00:18:24,395 --> 00:18:26,229 You heard it. Y'all heard it. 477 00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:29,299 But I just broke up with a woman. 478 00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:32,569 A beautiful, passionate woman. 479 00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:34,438 Adventurous. 480 00:18:34,439 --> 00:18:36,306 Sensual. 481 00:18:36,307 --> 00:18:37,908 Apparently, 482 00:18:37,909 --> 00:18:41,545 you're never too old for heartache. 483 00:18:41,546 --> 00:18:43,113 But tonight, 484 00:18:43,114 --> 00:18:44,948 I found solace 485 00:18:44,949 --> 00:18:48,385 in the bosom of male friendship. 486 00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:53,590 To George Cooper. 487 00:18:55,526 --> 00:18:57,794 Drinks are on me! 488 00:18:57,795 --> 00:18:59,730 To George Cooper! 489 00:19:19,545 --> 00:19:21,680 What happened? 490 00:19:21,681 --> 00:19:23,381 Oh, I had a few beers. 491 00:19:23,382 --> 00:19:25,350 He had one. 492 00:19:25,930 --> 00:19:27,388 Seriously? 493 00:19:27,389 --> 00:19:29,754 We can't get a dog, and this guy's still here?