1
00:00:05,375 --> 00:00:08,243
Did we just wake up
at the exact same time?

2
00:00:08,268 --> 00:00:09,746
I think we did.

3
00:00:10,047 --> 00:00:11,887
We are totally in sync,

4
00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:13,328
even when we're asleep.

5
00:00:13,353 --> 00:00:14,636
We're cuter than otters.

6
00:00:16,519 --> 00:00:18,871
And I thought marriage
was gonna be terrible.

7
00:00:18,896 --> 00:00:21,207
You don't need to say
that every morning.

8
00:00:22,627 --> 00:00:25,211
Well, I love that I can share
my every thought with you.

9
00:00:25,236 --> 00:00:26,402
You can.

10
00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:28,678
But maybe sometimes you shouldn't.

11
00:00:28,703 --> 00:00:30,069
For instance, the other day,

12
00:00:30,094 --> 00:00:32,595
when you were telling me that
my arms were getting flabby.

13
00:00:32,620 --> 00:00:33,702
Oh. I just said that 'cause

14
00:00:33,727 --> 00:00:35,072
I didn't want to push you up that hill.

15
00:00:35,632 --> 00:00:38,808
So you weren't being
mean, you were being lazy.

16
00:00:38,833 --> 00:00:40,249
Can't I be both?

17
00:00:40,274 --> 00:00:41,606
Better than anyone.

18
00:00:41,631 --> 00:00:42,880
Mm.

19
00:00:42,923 --> 00:00:44,590
What do you have planned today?

20
00:00:44,615 --> 00:00:45,697
Oh, let's see.

21
00:00:45,722 --> 00:00:47,367
I'm gonna take your shirts
to the dry cleaner's,

22
00:00:47,392 --> 00:00:50,059
fix Mr. Munson's
freezer and... oh, yeah,

23
00:00:50,199 --> 00:00:51,731
officially take your last name.

24
00:00:51,756 --> 00:00:53,255
What's wrong with his freezer?

25
00:00:53,945 --> 00:00:55,598
I think you missed the headline.

26
00:00:55,623 --> 00:00:57,823
No, I heard you. But our
freezer's been acting weird.

27
00:00:57,848 --> 00:00:59,398
Could be the same thing.

28
00:00:59,630 --> 00:01:02,548
Adam, I have an appointment
at the Social Security office,

29
00:01:02,573 --> 00:01:04,690
where I will fill out a government form.

30
00:01:04,837 --> 00:01:06,002
After 22 years,

31
00:01:06,027 --> 00:01:08,304
I am allowing myself
to show up on the grid.

32
00:01:08,329 --> 00:01:10,016
I know. That's a big step for you.

33
00:01:10,041 --> 00:01:11,801
Yeah. Especially since
there's a small chance

34
00:01:11,826 --> 00:01:13,192
I might be arrested.

35
00:01:13,428 --> 00:01:15,928
And if you do, I can't be
forced to testify against you,

36
00:01:15,953 --> 00:01:17,132
because I'm your husband.

37
00:01:17,157 --> 00:01:19,991
That right there, that's why
I want to be Bonnie Janikowski.

38
00:01:20,258 --> 00:01:23,259
Cool. And keep me posted
on that freezer thing.

39
00:01:24,762 --> 00:01:28,297
Why are you acting like this
isn't hugely important to you?

40
00:01:28,383 --> 00:01:29,715
Whatever makes you happy, Bonnie.

41
00:01:29,740 --> 00:01:31,429
It really doesn't matter to me.

42
00:01:31,454 --> 00:01:33,988
Well, it matters to me and I'm doing it.

43
00:01:39,545 --> 00:01:40,827
Smooth.

44
00:01:44,653 --> 00:01:45,735
Hey.

45
00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:46,809
No time.

46
00:01:46,955 --> 00:01:48,864
All you had to do is say "hey" back.

47
00:01:48,889 --> 00:01:51,074
I don't have time for "Hey, hey."

48
00:01:51,169 --> 00:01:53,970
My boss thinks 15 minutes
early is five minutes late,

49
00:01:53,995 --> 00:01:55,940
and I still haven't finished
proofreading those contracts.

50
00:01:55,964 --> 00:01:57,391
Ah. I would've read those last night,

51
00:01:57,415 --> 00:01:59,916
so I'd be prepared for work
and be able to give my mother

52
00:01:59,941 --> 00:02:01,219
the cheery good morning she deserves.

53
00:02:02,554 --> 00:02:04,754
Veronica kept me at the
office till 2:00 a.m.

54
00:02:04,839 --> 00:02:06,152
She never gets tired.

55
00:02:06,177 --> 00:02:07,771
She's like a machine
that runs on yelling

56
00:02:08,009 --> 00:02:10,180
and very expensive goat yogurt.

57
00:02:10,205 --> 00:02:11,788
Well, whatever you do,

58
00:02:11,813 --> 00:02:13,680
- just don't pull a Christy.
- What's that mean?

59
00:02:13,705 --> 00:02:15,716
You know, try hard for a
little while and then quit.

60
00:02:15,767 --> 00:02:17,483
How is that pulling a Christy?

61
00:02:17,519 --> 00:02:19,852
I finished college, I'm in law school,

62
00:02:19,877 --> 00:02:21,188
- I work three...
- Oh, God, don't do the list.

63
00:02:21,213 --> 00:02:22,095
Hey!

64
00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:24,003
Hey! See? There was time.

65
00:02:24,220 --> 00:02:26,136
The point is I am not gonna quit this.

66
00:02:26,161 --> 00:02:27,360
She is a senior partner.

67
00:02:27,385 --> 00:02:28,668
Her name is on the building.

68
00:02:28,693 --> 00:02:29,858
If I do a good job,

69
00:02:29,888 --> 00:02:31,921
maybe she hires me when I graduate.

70
00:02:31,946 --> 00:02:33,362
Before you know it, I'm a judge

71
00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:35,467
and then eventually a
Supreme Court justice.

72
00:02:35,670 --> 00:02:37,337
They seem okay with alcoholics now,

73
00:02:37,362 --> 00:02:39,579
so I could actually have a shot.

74
00:02:54,864 --> 00:02:59,864
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --

75
00:03:04,398 --> 00:03:07,207
?

76
00:03:19,738 --> 00:03:21,188
Wow.

77
00:03:21,265 --> 00:03:23,698
That was all kinds of bad idea.

78
00:03:24,362 --> 00:03:25,828
Well, sorry, heart.

79
00:03:25,853 --> 00:03:27,603
Christy!

80
00:03:27,688 --> 00:03:29,155
- Coming.
- Christy!

81
00:03:29,190 --> 00:03:30,439
Coming. Christy!

82
00:03:30,464 --> 00:03:31,796
- Coming.
- Christy!

83
00:03:31,821 --> 00:03:34,360
- Coming.
- What took you so long?

84
00:03:34,768 --> 00:03:37,840
Uh, I was, uh... I'm sorry.
I had to adjust my skirt.

85
00:03:37,865 --> 00:03:40,003
This zipper just wants
to be in the front.

86
00:03:40,028 --> 00:03:42,228
I need you to confirm
my lunch at Malone's.

87
00:03:42,253 --> 00:03:44,870
Also, pull the files on the Onyx Merger.

88
00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:47,578
I need you to get my car detailed.

89
00:03:47,603 --> 00:03:49,769
Don't take it to the place I don't like.

90
00:03:49,794 --> 00:03:51,177
Come on.

91
00:03:51,202 --> 00:03:54,837
Pick up my prescription at the
pharmacy and get those cucumbers

92
00:03:54,862 --> 00:03:57,339
- out of my lemon water.
- Malone's, Onyx, cucumbers...

93
00:03:57,364 --> 00:03:58,409
- ...prescription.
- Schedule a meeting for

94
00:03:58,434 --> 00:04:00,553
- Thursday with Thad Edwards.
- Thad, Thursday.

95
00:04:00,578 --> 00:04:02,189
Check the court calendar
to see which judge I landed

96
00:04:02,214 --> 00:04:03,330
in the Higgins case.

97
00:04:03,355 --> 00:04:05,501
If it's Barris, text
me; if it's Johnson,

98
00:04:05,526 --> 00:04:09,061
file for an extension; if
it's Clarke, kill me now.

99
00:04:09,086 --> 00:04:11,374
Can you just say all
that again into my phone?

100
00:04:11,859 --> 00:04:13,108
No!

101
00:04:16,070 --> 00:04:17,570
Got it.

102
00:04:19,290 --> 00:04:21,323
Hi, Ken.

103
00:04:21,409 --> 00:04:22,825
Oh.

104
00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:25,855
Hello, young lady.

105
00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:27,796
I've been waiting for that all day.

106
00:04:27,909 --> 00:04:30,276
Oh, look at those legs.

107
00:04:30,301 --> 00:04:32,751
Mmm. All the way to the floor.

108
00:04:32,776 --> 00:04:34,197
Hey, hey. You missed your chance.

109
00:04:34,222 --> 00:04:35,471
I'm married now.

110
00:04:35,496 --> 00:04:36,862
Ah, well, so am I.

111
00:04:36,974 --> 00:04:40,964
Uh, it makes it more exciting.

112
00:04:41,741 --> 00:04:43,575
You know, I can hear you!

113
00:04:44,051 --> 00:04:47,920
The only thing that still
works on her is the ears!

114
00:04:49,604 --> 00:04:52,488
- So, what you got?
- Five shirts.

115
00:04:52,513 --> 00:04:54,333
All right. The last name Plunkett.

116
00:04:54,358 --> 00:04:56,859
Actually, I'm on my way to
the Social Security office

117
00:04:56,884 --> 00:04:59,628
where I will officially
become Bonnie Janikowski.

118
00:05:00,435 --> 00:05:02,323
Sheesh.

119
00:05:02,348 --> 00:05:05,942
So, J-A-N-E...

120
00:05:05,975 --> 00:05:08,097
No.
J-A-N-I-K...

121
00:05:08,122 --> 00:05:11,006
L-Let's slow-slow down. J-A-N-E...

122
00:05:11,031 --> 00:05:12,897
No. J-N-I-K...

123
00:05:12,922 --> 00:05:15,889
Wait. J-A-N-I-K...

124
00:05:15,914 --> 00:05:17,947
Wait, are-are you sure there's no "C"?

125
00:05:18,784 --> 00:05:21,694
Well, now I'm not. All right, uh, uh...

126
00:05:21,719 --> 00:05:23,393
Give me a pen.
I got to write this down.

127
00:05:23,418 --> 00:05:26,058
- All right.
- Uh...

128
00:05:26,941 --> 00:05:30,192
None of this looks right.

129
00:05:30,217 --> 00:05:33,468
Okay, there. I think that's it.

130
00:05:34,291 --> 00:05:36,458
Oh. So there is a "C"?

131
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:42,424
Damn it, just leave it Plunkett.

132
00:05:43,884 --> 00:05:45,768
No. Disabuse your client of the notion

133
00:05:45,793 --> 00:05:47,771
he is going to walk away
from this thing with anything

134
00:05:47,795 --> 00:05:49,078
that even resembles a win.

135
00:05:49,103 --> 00:05:51,140
It's over and everyone knows it but you!

136
00:05:51,165 --> 00:05:52,800
Hanging up!

137
00:05:53,167 --> 00:05:54,200
Hang it up!

138
00:05:56,304 --> 00:05:57,803
I love watching you work.

139
00:05:57,838 --> 00:06:00,839
Ugh, well, that's creepy. Take these.

140
00:06:00,951 --> 00:06:02,568
Where is my prescription?

141
00:06:02,593 --> 00:06:04,463
Oh, um, right here.

142
00:06:04,488 --> 00:06:06,572
The pharmacist said
to take them with a...

143
00:06:06,597 --> 00:06:09,515
Yeah, I know how to take them.
You want one? You want one.

144
00:06:10,425 --> 00:06:11,661
What is it?

145
00:06:11,686 --> 00:06:13,185
Adderall. We're all on it.

146
00:06:13,210 --> 00:06:14,862
Get on it. You're sluggish.

147
00:06:15,300 --> 00:06:19,690
Oh. No, thank you,
but thank you, but no.

148
00:06:20,161 --> 00:06:21,076
You sure?

149
00:06:21,101 --> 00:06:22,383
Yeah.

150
00:06:22,408 --> 00:06:23,373
Then get out!

151
00:06:23,531 --> 00:06:24,830
- Get out!
- O-Okay.

152
00:06:24,865 --> 00:06:26,165
- Get out! Get out!
- Okay.

153
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,200
- Okay.
- Get out!

154
00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:33,649
Do I seem sluggish to you?

155
00:06:33,674 --> 00:06:35,507
Uh, today or every day?

156
00:06:35,543 --> 00:06:37,710
Eh, it doesn't matter. Yes to both.

157
00:06:37,855 --> 00:06:40,439
My boss and everyone else
in the building is on uppers,

158
00:06:40,464 --> 00:06:42,052
which is not safe, or fair.

159
00:06:42,077 --> 00:06:43,526
How am I supposed to compete?

160
00:06:43,551 --> 00:06:45,684
Sounds like someone's
about to pull a Christy.

161
00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:48,053
No, I'm not, and stop calling it that.

162
00:06:48,132 --> 00:06:50,249
Hey, babe.

163
00:06:50,274 --> 00:06:52,474
I'm at the grocery
store. Do you need anything?

164
00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:54,109
- I'm good.
- Ooh.

165
00:06:54,195 --> 00:06:55,835
Can you get some
strawberries for my boss?

166
00:06:55,863 --> 00:06:57,896
But not the big ones, the
little tiny sweet ones.

167
00:06:57,975 --> 00:06:59,592
She had them last spring in Capri,

168
00:06:59,617 --> 00:07:01,617
and they were apparently magical.

169
00:07:01,642 --> 00:07:03,462
I'll do my best.

170
00:07:03,547 --> 00:07:05,631
You know he's just gonna
get you raspberries.

171
00:07:05,656 --> 00:07:06,847
She's right.

172
00:07:06,872 --> 00:07:10,042
How was the Social Security
office, Mrs. Janikowski?

173
00:07:10,077 --> 00:07:11,577
It was great.

174
00:07:11,723 --> 00:07:14,140
The line moved quickly,
there was ample parking,

175
00:07:14,165 --> 00:07:16,799
and, uh, I made friends with
a woman from Kuala Lumpur.

176
00:07:16,824 --> 00:07:18,361
Awesome. See you at home.

177
00:07:18,386 --> 00:07:19,668
Bye. Love you.

178
00:07:20,650 --> 00:07:22,183
Look at you,

179
00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:24,223
changing your name legally for once.

180
00:07:24,258 --> 00:07:25,974
Yeah, I didn't do it.

181
00:07:26,121 --> 00:07:27,203
What?

182
00:07:27,456 --> 00:07:29,595
You just lied to your
brand-new husband?

183
00:07:29,620 --> 00:07:31,040
I rescheduled, so technically

184
00:07:31,065 --> 00:07:33,265
I just pre-told him tomorrow's truth.

185
00:07:34,050 --> 00:07:36,579
What about the woman from Kuala Lumpur?

186
00:07:36,604 --> 00:07:38,604
Well, it might happen.
I'm a friendly person.

187
00:07:39,612 --> 00:07:41,664
Another lie. Why didn't you go?

188
00:07:41,689 --> 00:07:44,237
Eh, it just didn't feel like
a good day to become Polish.

189
00:07:47,782 --> 00:07:49,832
- Bonnie, your turn to sweep.
- I pass.

190
00:07:49,990 --> 00:07:51,677
You can't pass.

191
00:07:51,702 --> 00:07:53,386
It's a hard pass.

192
00:07:53,813 --> 00:07:55,396
Fine, I'll do it.

193
00:07:59,710 --> 00:08:01,009
What are you doing?

194
00:08:01,095 --> 00:08:02,425
Sweeping.

195
00:08:02,991 --> 00:08:04,357
Yeah, I have three maids.

196
00:08:04,382 --> 00:08:05,808
I don't think so.

197
00:08:06,634 --> 00:08:09,511
Who taught you how to
do that, a cartoon mouse?

198
00:08:10,651 --> 00:08:12,248
What's wrong with what I'm doing?

199
00:08:12,273 --> 00:08:13,939
Oh, good Lord, give me that broom.

200
00:08:20,698 --> 00:08:23,482
I hate her, I hate her, I hate her.

201
00:08:23,534 --> 00:08:25,534
Your mom's already here. Who is it?

202
00:08:26,737 --> 00:08:28,987
The other most toxic
person on the planet.

203
00:08:29,066 --> 00:08:31,517
Hey, Veronica. What can I do for you?

204
00:08:31,542 --> 00:08:32,791
Uh-huh.

205
00:08:33,886 --> 00:08:36,211
I am on it.

206
00:08:36,495 --> 00:08:39,079
I can't go to the bistro.

207
00:08:39,104 --> 00:08:41,166
I got to go run an errand for my boss.

208
00:08:41,218 --> 00:08:42,835
She needs you to score more pills?

209
00:08:42,860 --> 00:08:44,076
No.

210
00:08:44,389 --> 00:08:45,722
She needs pot.

211
00:08:46,667 --> 00:08:49,211
Yes, that's right. I am
leaving an A.A. meeting

212
00:08:49,236 --> 00:08:50,486
to go buy pot.

213
00:08:50,511 --> 00:08:51,677
Seriously?

214
00:08:51,772 --> 00:08:53,155
You know, my guy Earl used to work

215
00:08:53,180 --> 00:08:54,467
under the Third Street Bridge.

216
00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:56,992
He'll hook you up pretty
good if he's still alive.

217
00:08:57,017 --> 00:08:59,852
It's okay. She wants me
to go to her dispensary.

218
00:08:59,877 --> 00:09:01,987
Ooh, I've never been to
one of those. I want to go!

219
00:09:02,012 --> 00:09:03,322
This'll be fun!

220
00:09:03,357 --> 00:09:04,606
I'll come, too.

221
00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:05,668
Road trip!

222
00:09:05,693 --> 00:09:07,192
Tammy, it's four blocks away.

223
00:09:07,217 --> 00:09:09,334
Super short road trip!

224
00:09:10,069 --> 00:09:11,564
She's in your car.

225
00:09:21,904 --> 00:09:25,238
Why are we buying pot in an Apple Store?

226
00:09:25,455 --> 00:09:27,917
This is a lot different
than Earl's bridge.

227
00:09:28,398 --> 00:09:30,314
I don't like it. Where's the shame?

228
00:09:30,339 --> 00:09:31,588
Where's the danger?

229
00:09:31,790 --> 00:09:34,491
Hi. I'm DJ. How may I help you?

230
00:09:34,516 --> 00:09:37,847
I have to buy pot for my friend.

231
00:09:38,082 --> 00:09:39,782
Your "friend"?

232
00:09:39,807 --> 00:09:41,173
Ladies, it's legal.

233
00:09:41,198 --> 00:09:43,198
You can come out from the shadows.

234
00:09:46,555 --> 00:09:48,505
This place smells like nursing school.

235
00:09:48,553 --> 00:09:51,440
- Like high school.
- Her womb.

236
00:09:52,057 --> 00:09:53,847
Let's not get too excited.

237
00:09:53,872 --> 00:09:56,456
We're just here for moral support.

238
00:09:56,481 --> 00:09:59,315
Man, those are some fat buds.

239
00:09:59,909 --> 00:10:01,534
That's Jolly Green Giant.

240
00:10:01,566 --> 00:10:02,781
We grow it in-house.

241
00:10:02,806 --> 00:10:04,760
It's a really nice indica sativa hybrid,

242
00:10:04,785 --> 00:10:07,069
about 30% THC.

243
00:10:09,057 --> 00:10:11,457
Wow, we've come a long way from

244
00:10:11,482 --> 00:10:14,517
"Here's what might be weed in a bag."

245
00:10:14,662 --> 00:10:16,328
Would you like to meet the plants?

246
00:10:16,353 --> 00:10:17,819
Ooh, I would like to meet the plants.

247
00:10:17,915 --> 00:10:20,883
I would like to do
terrible things to them.

248
00:10:20,908 --> 00:10:22,074
We don't smoke.

249
00:10:22,170 --> 00:10:24,420
Gotcha. Let me show you the edibles.

250
00:10:24,505 --> 00:10:28,257
Cookies, cereal, crackers,
pretzel bites, sodas.

251
00:10:28,309 --> 00:10:30,342
This isn't fair. They legalized pot

252
00:10:30,367 --> 00:10:32,367
and put it in all my favorite snacks!

253
00:10:32,698 --> 00:10:35,491
Oh, honey, it doesn't
matter what it's in. It's...

254
00:10:35,516 --> 00:10:37,266
Holy crap, it's in salad dressing!

255
00:10:37,291 --> 00:10:39,508
Somebody physically restrain me.

256
00:10:39,604 --> 00:10:41,437
I'm sure you get this
question all the time.

257
00:10:41,462 --> 00:10:45,418
I'm sober. If I rub this
CBD oil on my husband

258
00:10:45,443 --> 00:10:48,347
and I somehow... ingest it,

259
00:10:48,372 --> 00:10:51,080
is that technically a relapse

260
00:10:51,105 --> 00:10:53,939
or just a great way to
handle my joint pain?

261
00:10:54,167 --> 00:10:56,312
Uh, I've never gotten
that question before.

262
00:10:56,337 --> 00:10:59,622
Not worth the risk. I'll stick
with whipped cream and Advil.

263
00:10:59,886 --> 00:11:03,436
Okay, um, I need an
eighth of Laughing Buddha,

264
00:11:03,461 --> 00:11:06,762
two packs of pre-rolled Skywalker O.G.,

265
00:11:06,797 --> 00:11:08,297
and breath strips.

266
00:11:08,410 --> 00:11:10,932
Wait, I'm probably supposed
to get that from the pharmacy.

267
00:11:10,957 --> 00:11:12,990
- No, we have those here.
- With pot in them?

268
00:11:13,062 --> 00:11:14,678
I'm gonna save you some time.

269
00:11:14,703 --> 00:11:18,503
Everything in this room
has pot in it. Including me.

270
00:11:21,323 --> 00:11:22,755
What about this bag?

271
00:11:22,780 --> 00:11:24,029
It's made of hemp.

272
00:11:24,054 --> 00:11:25,018
- Ooh.
- Ooh.

273
00:11:25,043 --> 00:11:28,127
I want to buy that bag.
I'm allowed to buy that bag.

274
00:11:28,486 --> 00:11:31,203
Oh, check it out. This one's on sale.

275
00:11:31,228 --> 00:11:32,515
Pot goes on sale?

276
00:11:32,540 --> 00:11:35,074
I used to have to do
things to get a discount.

277
00:11:35,099 --> 00:11:37,683
Fortunately, Earl was not bad-looking.

278
00:11:37,855 --> 00:11:40,675
For someone who slept
in a shopping cart.

279
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:42,558
Here you go.

280
00:11:42,583 --> 00:11:44,333
Since you're a first-time customer,

281
00:11:44,358 --> 00:11:46,525
throw in some gummy bears and lollipops.

282
00:11:47,182 --> 00:11:49,982
And when you say "gummy
bears and lollipops... "

283
00:11:50,007 --> 00:11:51,173
Yes, they have pot in them.

284
00:11:51,198 --> 00:11:52,792
Son of a biscuit!

285
00:11:56,323 --> 00:11:57,906
Mmm.

286
00:11:58,232 --> 00:12:00,649
You're not a bowl of
marijuana-infused Cheerios,

287
00:12:00,674 --> 00:12:02,573
but you're still pretty good.

288
00:12:02,913 --> 00:12:05,831
That was fun, but I'd never do it again.

289
00:12:05,856 --> 00:12:07,501
They make it look all
happy-happy, joy-joy,

290
00:12:07,525 --> 00:12:09,441
which makes it hard
to remember that for me

291
00:12:09,466 --> 00:12:11,849
it led to crappy-crappy, sad-sad.

292
00:12:12,057 --> 00:12:13,306
Me, too.

293
00:12:13,331 --> 00:12:15,281
And now that it's legal,
I can't go anywhere

294
00:12:15,306 --> 00:12:18,464
without walking through a
cloud of that sweet, sweet odor.

295
00:12:18,753 --> 00:12:21,203
It's true. It's everywhere now.

296
00:12:21,228 --> 00:12:22,678
So is alcohol.

297
00:12:22,703 --> 00:12:24,590
Yeah, but I don't walk down the sidewalk

298
00:12:24,615 --> 00:12:26,698
and get a glass of
wine thrown in my face.

299
00:12:27,712 --> 00:12:29,323
One time Jell-O, but to be fair,

300
00:12:29,355 --> 00:12:32,190
I was... I was pretty
mean to that little boy.

301
00:12:33,911 --> 00:12:35,828
Maybe you'll be a nicer person

302
00:12:35,853 --> 00:12:37,886
when you become Bonnie Janikowski.

303
00:12:37,972 --> 00:12:39,688
Not likely.

304
00:12:39,724 --> 00:12:41,890
Oh, yeah, you did that today.

305
00:12:41,976 --> 00:12:43,550
No, she did not.

306
00:12:44,445 --> 00:12:47,349
Oh. Oops, did I let that slip?

307
00:12:48,115 --> 00:12:49,365
Why?

308
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:50,783
I don't, I don't know.

309
00:12:50,808 --> 00:12:52,341
Something about it didn't feel right.

310
00:12:52,610 --> 00:12:54,193
Maybe it's 'cause you're so old.

311
00:12:55,039 --> 00:12:56,538
What are you doing?

312
00:12:56,574 --> 00:12:59,232
This is a violent
woman with a long reach.

313
00:13:00,077 --> 00:13:01,910
I just mean when a 25-year-old woman

314
00:13:01,935 --> 00:13:03,901
changes her name, it's no big deal.

315
00:13:04,029 --> 00:13:07,026
But it's much harder for
someone in their twilight years.

316
00:13:07,051 --> 00:13:10,302
Oh, just go on and hit
her. She's asking for it.

317
00:13:12,149 --> 00:13:14,483
It kills me to say this,
but Wendy has a point.

318
00:13:14,508 --> 00:13:16,425
I've been Bonnie Plunkett my whole life.

319
00:13:16,450 --> 00:13:18,900
And something's telling
me I should stay that way.

320
00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:20,790
Mm. Honey, if you're this conflicted,

321
00:13:20,815 --> 00:13:22,232
you should talk to Adam.

322
00:13:22,771 --> 00:13:25,127
Don't forget to tell
him you lied earlier.

323
00:13:25,213 --> 00:13:26,379
Oops.

324
00:13:26,404 --> 00:13:29,355
Why the hell don't you just hyphenate?

325
00:13:29,380 --> 00:13:32,193
Bonnie Plunkett-Janikowski?
What am I, the alphabet?

326
00:13:36,932 --> 00:13:40,183
I just talked to Thad's assistant Chad..

327
00:13:40,418 --> 00:13:42,115
Yes, you heard that right.

328
00:13:42,140 --> 00:13:45,193
Uh, they're running late,
so you have some time.

329
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:48,724
You're not yelling at me. Are you okay?

330
00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:54,973
Oh. Aren't you pretty.

331
00:13:56,423 --> 00:13:57,888
What you got going on there?

332
00:13:59,687 --> 00:14:02,976
I was feeling kind of tired,
so I took extra Adderall.

333
00:14:03,001 --> 00:14:04,250
Then I felt jumpy,

334
00:14:04,275 --> 00:14:05,858
so I ate a couple pot gummies.

335
00:14:05,883 --> 00:14:08,240
Then I forgot I ate the
gummies, so I ate more gummies.

336
00:14:11,374 --> 00:14:14,740
Chad and Thad... I just got that.

337
00:14:17,632 --> 00:14:20,800
I may not be able to
handle this meeting.

338
00:14:21,083 --> 00:14:23,742
Do you have makeup remover

339
00:14:23,767 --> 00:14:27,404
or a hat with a veil?

340
00:14:28,060 --> 00:14:31,811
This is my first gummy bear
experience, and it's not good.

341
00:14:31,896 --> 00:14:33,312
Here are my takeaways.

342
00:14:33,337 --> 00:14:35,935
A: Don't eat nine.

343
00:14:36,197 --> 00:14:39,064
B: I'm gonna die.

344
00:14:40,247 --> 00:14:42,394
Maybe I should reschedule the meeting.

345
00:14:42,419 --> 00:14:45,453
No. We need this client because...

346
00:14:45,577 --> 00:14:47,827
This firm is in trouble.

347
00:14:47,852 --> 00:14:49,856
We are this close to bankruptcy,

348
00:14:49,881 --> 00:14:52,298
and we just spent a lot
of money on new chairs.

349
00:14:52,323 --> 00:14:54,323
It was so dumb.

350
00:14:56,327 --> 00:14:58,243
Veronica, this is a classic

351
00:14:58,268 --> 00:15:00,802
"too high slash panic attack" situation.

352
00:15:00,915 --> 00:15:01,995
Yep, yep, that feels right.

353
00:15:02,032 --> 00:15:03,472
Open that window. I want to jump out.

354
00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:08,239
Look in my eyes and repeat after me:

355
00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:10,340
I am okay.

356
00:15:10,458 --> 00:15:12,806
You are okay.

357
00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:15,711
No, you are okay.

358
00:15:15,736 --> 00:15:17,573
No, you are okay.

359
00:15:17,939 --> 00:15:21,350
I am trying to get you
to say "I am okay."

360
00:15:21,385 --> 00:15:24,720
But I am so not okay,
and I'll never be okay!

361
00:15:24,963 --> 00:15:28,451
All right! I'm gonna have to slap you.

362
00:15:28,741 --> 00:15:30,741
Do it!

363
00:15:36,697 --> 00:15:39,902
Ugh! I can't! I can't slap my boss!

364
00:15:39,927 --> 00:15:41,343
Do it!

365
00:15:41,455 --> 00:15:42,404
Say something mean.

366
00:15:42,456 --> 00:15:43,789
Tell me I'm a terrible assistant.

367
00:15:43,814 --> 00:15:45,806
Tell you? I thought you already knew.

368
00:15:49,830 --> 00:15:51,884
Hey! That helped!

369
00:15:51,909 --> 00:15:53,942
Let's go again!

370
00:15:55,586 --> 00:15:57,252
I'm not high!

371
00:16:03,060 --> 00:16:05,344
Ah, damn it, you're home.

372
00:16:06,961 --> 00:16:09,295
Oh, we're just telling
each other the truth now?

373
00:16:10,058 --> 00:16:12,141
Okay, your hair is ridiculous.

374
00:16:13,205 --> 00:16:15,687
No, I got you a gift, and I
wanted to surprise you with it.

375
00:16:15,712 --> 00:16:17,879
And-and what-what's wrong with my hair?

376
00:16:18,025 --> 00:16:19,741
It looks like it's trying to escape.

377
00:16:19,766 --> 00:16:21,315
Give me my present.

378
00:16:23,030 --> 00:16:25,831
I ordered us a new welcome
mat that says "The Janikowskis"

379
00:16:25,856 --> 00:16:27,272
'cause that's who we are now.

380
00:16:28,228 --> 00:16:30,002
That is...

381
00:16:30,027 --> 00:16:31,610
so sweet.

382
00:16:31,635 --> 00:16:33,001
Yeah.

383
00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:35,100
And yet I feel I don't deserve it.

384
00:16:35,421 --> 00:16:37,054
Why not?

385
00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:40,084
Because only one of us is a Janikowski.

386
00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:44,056
I didn't, uh, go to the
Social Security office.

387
00:16:45,735 --> 00:16:47,039
You lied to me?

388
00:16:47,064 --> 00:16:49,782
Well, I thought I was telling
you today's truth yesterday.

389
00:16:51,058 --> 00:16:53,108
I-I can see why you're confused.

390
00:16:53,431 --> 00:16:55,978
So... what happened?

391
00:16:56,352 --> 00:16:59,712
I just have this little
voice saying, "Don't do it."

392
00:16:59,950 --> 00:17:02,905
The-the thing is, I-I
hated being Bonnie Plunkett

393
00:17:02,930 --> 00:17:04,346
for most of my life.

394
00:17:04,371 --> 00:17:07,823
I was a drunk, a-a
thief, a terrible mother.

395
00:17:07,908 --> 00:17:10,158
I-I felt worthless and broken.

396
00:17:10,183 --> 00:17:12,850
But then I did all this work on myself,

397
00:17:12,875 --> 00:17:14,557
and I finally love Bonnie Plunkett,

398
00:17:14,582 --> 00:17:16,837
and I just, I'm not ready to let her go.

399
00:17:18,478 --> 00:17:19,870
Wow.

400
00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:21,730
I had no idea you felt that way.

401
00:17:21,755 --> 00:17:23,338
I didn't either.

402
00:17:23,390 --> 00:17:25,511
I'm sorry. I know this
was important to you.

403
00:17:25,536 --> 00:17:27,486
And don't say it wasn't,
because you clearly paid

404
00:17:27,511 --> 00:17:29,728
for expedited shipping
on that welcome mat.

405
00:17:31,065 --> 00:17:33,439
It was only three dollars more.

406
00:17:34,101 --> 00:17:36,318
I... I just wanted
the whole world to know

407
00:17:36,353 --> 00:17:37,653
that we're a family.

408
00:17:39,523 --> 00:17:41,690
Why would you say something like that?

409
00:17:41,715 --> 00:17:42,986
What?

410
00:17:43,387 --> 00:17:46,221
So sweet. Now I'm waffling again.

411
00:17:46,246 --> 00:17:47,779
No, no, no, no, no, don't waffle.

412
00:17:47,804 --> 00:17:49,425
You finally love Bonnie Plunkett,

413
00:17:49,450 --> 00:17:51,869
and I've always loved
Bonnie Plunkett, so...

414
00:17:52,536 --> 00:17:54,416
stay Bonnie Plunkett.

415
00:17:55,861 --> 00:17:58,862
All right, but I'm doing this for you.

416
00:18:00,776 --> 00:18:03,656
And, hey, this doesn't mean
we can't have a welcome mat

417
00:18:03,681 --> 00:18:04,846
that says "The Janikowskis."

418
00:18:04,882 --> 00:18:07,215
At the very least, you
and Gus are Janikowskis.

419
00:18:08,347 --> 00:18:10,908
Gus's last name is Wooferton.

420
00:18:14,220 --> 00:18:16,892
Let's just put out the mat.
I'm sure he won't complain.

421
00:18:20,465 --> 00:18:22,587
"The Jackinowskis."

422
00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:26,170
Everyone always wants
to put a "C" in it.

423
00:18:32,355 --> 00:18:34,856
- Hey.
- Hey. How was work?

424
00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:36,630
Excellent, thanks to you.

425
00:18:36,726 --> 00:18:38,025
Really?

426
00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:40,000
Yeah. I saved my boss's ass

427
00:18:40,025 --> 00:18:42,280
when she got way too
high and freaked out.

428
00:18:43,432 --> 00:18:45,806
You are really good at that.
Did you have to slap her?

429
00:18:46,261 --> 00:18:49,095
Yep. But just like you, she hit back.

430
00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:50,736
But...

431
00:18:50,761 --> 00:18:52,272
I sobered her up enough for her meeting,

432
00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:53,682
and now I get to go to
court with her tomorrow.

433
00:18:53,707 --> 00:18:55,908
Mostly to carry her yogurt, but still.

434
00:18:55,933 --> 00:18:58,150
Congratulations!

435
00:18:58,246 --> 00:19:00,116
So now with the way this turned out,

436
00:19:00,141 --> 00:19:02,191
can sticking with it and persevering

437
00:19:02,216 --> 00:19:03,749
and getting huge success be called...

438
00:19:03,801 --> 00:19:06,418
- Pulling a Bonnie Plunkett?
- Yes, it can.

439
00:19:06,470 --> 00:19:11,470
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --