1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:02,304 His wife's funeral was almost a year ago, and they're still 2 00:00:02,305 --> 00:00:03,937 living off the meals people made for them. 3 00:00:03,938 --> 00:00:05,405 - Hey, Wade. - Hey, Tracy. 4 00:00:05,406 --> 00:00:07,475 This man has no idea what catnip 5 00:00:07,476 --> 00:00:08,666 he is to these women. 6 00:00:08,667 --> 00:00:10,273 You are a devoted father. 7 00:00:10,274 --> 00:00:12,045 You were a devoted husband. 8 00:00:12,046 --> 00:00:13,984 You are a unicorn. You know, that elusive 9 00:00:13,985 --> 00:00:16,750 - creature that all single women are looking for. - Are you guys saying 10 00:00:16,751 --> 00:00:18,676 that all of these women are only into me because 11 00:00:18,677 --> 00:00:19,786 - my wife died? - Yep. 12 00:00:19,787 --> 00:00:21,054 You're factory fresh, buddy. 13 00:00:23,100 --> 00:00:24,525 Ah. 14 00:00:24,526 --> 00:00:26,874 Oh, what stinks in here? 15 00:00:26,875 --> 00:00:28,461 Noah's eating Sour Bombz. 16 00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:30,120 They're the sourest thing in the world. 17 00:00:30,121 --> 00:00:32,730 Don't believe me? Ask a scientist. 18 00:00:32,731 --> 00:00:35,324 Oh, my God, that chemical smell is making my eyes water. 19 00:00:35,325 --> 00:00:37,216 Natalie? 20 00:00:37,217 --> 00:00:39,072 Hey, Grace, can you put your seat belt on? 21 00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:41,041 Grace? 22 00:00:42,076 --> 00:00:43,410 Hello? 23 00:00:43,411 --> 00:00:45,894 - She's on Instagram. - What? No, I'm not! 24 00:00:45,895 --> 00:00:47,714 - Then what is it? - Oh, it's a new app. 25 00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,616 It's called "Why don't you mind your own business?" 26 00:00:49,617 --> 00:00:50,884 Yeah, I've heard of it. 27 00:00:50,885 --> 00:00:54,436 Wade, word on the street is you've got a date tonight. 28 00:00:54,437 --> 00:00:57,165 Oh, yeah? Is the street your mom? 29 00:00:57,166 --> 00:00:59,989 I'd rather not say, but she says you shouldn't be allowed 30 00:00:59,990 --> 00:01:02,316 to pick out your own date because you've got no sense. 31 00:01:02,317 --> 00:01:05,619 Well, that's an interesting perspective. 32 00:01:09,103 --> 00:01:11,204 All right. 33 00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:14,508 Hey, Michelle. 34 00:01:14,509 --> 00:01:15,934 - Hey, Wade. - Bye. 35 00:01:15,935 --> 00:01:17,915 Uh, by any chance, have you been talking 36 00:01:17,916 --> 00:01:19,658 about my social life in front of your kids? 37 00:01:19,659 --> 00:01:20,699 It wasn't me. 38 00:01:20,700 --> 00:01:24,242 Noah, what did Mama say about keeping our mouths shut? 39 00:01:24,243 --> 00:01:25,786 I'm just making small talk. 40 00:01:25,787 --> 00:01:27,254 Well, talk about sports. 41 00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:28,813 Which one? There's, like, a hundred. 42 00:01:28,814 --> 00:01:31,658 I don't care. Basketball, football, hockey. 43 00:01:31,659 --> 00:01:32,984 Sorry, Wade. 44 00:01:32,985 --> 00:01:34,494 - Fencing. - What's fencing? 45 00:01:34,495 --> 00:01:35,762 It's things with knives. 46 00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:37,497 - You'd like it. - Can I sit in the front? 47 00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:39,666 No, you can't sit in the front, 'cause you don't know no sports. 48 00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:42,135 - So then, as soon as he walked away... - Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 49 00:01:42,136 --> 00:01:44,662 - ... my friend said, "Do you know who that is?" - Mm? 50 00:01:44,663 --> 00:01:46,532 - "That was Boston Rob". - No. 51 00:01:46,533 --> 00:01:48,525 - Boston Rob? No. - Yes! 52 00:01:48,526 --> 00:01:49,556 Yeah. 53 00:01:49,557 --> 00:01:51,211 I have no idea who that is. 54 00:01:51,212 --> 00:01:53,213 Oh. 55 00:01:53,214 --> 00:01:54,715 The guy from Survivor. 56 00:01:54,716 --> 00:01:56,227 Oh, Survivor. Oh. 57 00:01:56,228 --> 00:01:57,551 Oh, I-I-I... I love them. 58 00:01:57,552 --> 00:01:59,553 Are you kidding? "Eye of the Tiger"? 59 00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:01,054 I didn't know they were from Boston. 60 00:02:01,055 --> 00:02:03,490 Oh... oh, no. 61 00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:06,560 No, Survivor, the television show? 62 00:02:06,561 --> 00:02:08,862 It's been on for, like, 15 years? 63 00:02:08,863 --> 00:02:13,467 Oh. Um, I don't have television down in my cave. 64 00:02:13,468 --> 00:02:15,369 Oh. 65 00:02:15,370 --> 00:02:18,053 That was a joke. I-I don't really live in a cave. 66 00:02:21,142 --> 00:02:23,407 You're hilarious! 67 00:02:28,283 --> 00:02:29,574 I've never heard of Boston Rob. 68 00:02:29,575 --> 00:02:30,784 Thank you very much. 69 00:02:30,785 --> 00:02:32,719 Seriously? He was on Survivor? 70 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,554 Survivor All-Stars? 71 00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:36,270 Survivor Redemption Island? 72 00:02:36,271 --> 00:02:37,924 Survivor Hero vs. Villains? 73 00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:40,027 We've never seen any of the Survivors, Forrest. 74 00:02:40,028 --> 00:02:42,368 - Mm. No. - Survivor Marquesas? 75 00:02:42,369 --> 00:02:45,395 - Oh, yes. Yeah, seen that one. - Wasn't that great? 76 00:02:45,396 --> 00:02:47,169 We've seen no Survivors! 77 00:02:47,170 --> 00:02:49,936 - Okay! - Slalom! 78 00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:52,556 Hey, listen. There's more fish in the sea, right? 79 00:02:52,557 --> 00:02:54,345 Well, what makes you think it was a bad date? 80 00:02:54,346 --> 00:02:55,876 Literally everything you said about it. 81 00:02:55,877 --> 00:02:59,057 Yeah. Long silences, awkward conversations, no sex. 82 00:02:59,058 --> 00:03:00,584 There was never gonna be any sex, Forrest. 83 00:03:00,585 --> 00:03:01,666 Not with that attitude. 84 00:03:01,667 --> 00:03:03,039 Okay. All right, I admit it. 85 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:04,584 We didn't exactly have chemistry, 86 00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:07,412 and she did substitute a side salad for the coleslaw. 87 00:03:07,413 --> 00:03:09,690 - Oh, we are done with her. - She didn't eat the coleslaw?! 88 00:03:09,691 --> 00:03:10,791 - At Edgerton's? - She's dead! 89 00:03:10,792 --> 00:03:12,450 - Dead! - She was very nice. 90 00:03:12,451 --> 00:03:14,819 And to be fair, uh, I'm a little rusty. 91 00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,514 You know, I've barely been on a date in 20 years. 92 00:03:16,515 --> 00:03:17,539 So, who am I to judge? 93 00:03:17,540 --> 00:03:19,325 You're not going out with her again, are you? 94 00:03:19,326 --> 00:03:20,356 Friday. 95 00:03:20,357 --> 00:03:22,215 - Oh, she's a dud! - Why? 96 00:03:22,216 --> 00:03:24,608 She was very nice. 97 00:03:24,609 --> 00:03:29,116 Okay, nice is nice, but nice isn't everything, Wade. 98 00:03:29,117 --> 00:03:30,532 Mm-hmm, nice is nothing. 99 00:03:30,533 --> 00:03:32,692 I'm not nice. Delia's not nice. 100 00:03:32,693 --> 00:03:33,917 I'm nice. 101 00:03:33,918 --> 00:03:35,685 Look, it's a no-pressure thing, all right? 102 00:03:35,686 --> 00:03:38,178 We're just gonna go out, and we're gonna have drinks. 103 00:03:38,179 --> 00:03:39,404 That's all. 104 00:03:39,405 --> 00:03:41,196 Okay. Fine. 105 00:03:41,197 --> 00:03:42,601 Mmm. 106 00:03:42,602 --> 00:03:44,260 I just got an alert on my phone 107 00:03:44,261 --> 00:03:46,886 saying that I spent $12 on Lime. 108 00:03:46,887 --> 00:03:49,150 - What's Lime? - Oh, it's those scooters 109 00:03:49,151 --> 00:03:50,909 that people are riding all over the place. 110 00:03:50,910 --> 00:03:52,435 Oh, yeah, people don't wear helmets. 111 00:03:52,436 --> 00:03:54,261 I'm constantly yelling out the window at them. 112 00:03:54,262 --> 00:03:56,487 Nicely. 113 00:03:56,488 --> 00:03:58,546 Oh. Hey, everyone. 114 00:03:58,547 --> 00:03:59,738 - Hey, pumpkin. - Hey. 115 00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:01,531 Uh, have you been on a Lime? 116 00:04:01,532 --> 00:04:05,091 Since when do you know about Lime? 117 00:04:05,092 --> 00:04:07,727 I don't. I just got an alert on my phone. 118 00:04:09,143 --> 00:04:10,767 Right. 119 00:04:10,768 --> 00:04:13,027 Thought I turned those alerts off on your phone. 120 00:04:13,028 --> 00:04:14,347 Why would you do that? 121 00:04:14,348 --> 00:04:15,572 So she could ride a Lime. 122 00:04:15,573 --> 00:04:17,031 Please tell me you wore a helmet. 123 00:04:17,032 --> 00:04:19,190 Uh... Come on, of course. 124 00:04:19,191 --> 00:04:20,931 - Give me some credit. - Yeah, that's a no. 125 00:04:20,932 --> 00:04:23,124 Oh, Grace, come on. You know the drill. 126 00:04:23,125 --> 00:04:25,708 I've got to know where you are at all times, no exceptions. 127 00:04:25,709 --> 00:04:27,367 But that's an invasion of my privacy. 128 00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:28,859 You're 14 years old. 129 00:04:28,860 --> 00:04:30,638 - You don't get to have privacy. - Okay. 130 00:04:30,639 --> 00:04:32,531 Excuse me. Just curious over here. 131 00:04:32,532 --> 00:04:34,887 Uh, do you want a serious head injury? 132 00:04:34,888 --> 00:04:35,979 Is that, like, 133 00:04:35,980 --> 00:04:37,304 what all the cool kids are doing? 134 00:04:37,305 --> 00:04:38,905 Are you, like, "Hey, dude! 135 00:04:38,906 --> 00:04:40,945 I'm rocking this subdural hematoma!" 136 00:04:40,946 --> 00:04:42,893 "Oh, no way, I'm so jelly!" 137 00:04:42,894 --> 00:04:44,942 Is it... yeah... like that? Is it like that? 138 00:04:44,943 --> 00:04:47,778 You know what? I'm canceling your Lime account. 139 00:04:48,947 --> 00:04:50,561 I don't know how to do that. 140 00:04:50,562 --> 00:04:52,654 You cancel your Lime account, but do it for real, 141 00:04:52,655 --> 00:04:54,289 or else I'm gonna take your phone away. 142 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,809 Well, my night's off to a great start. 143 00:05:01,810 --> 00:05:03,465 Look, 144 00:05:03,466 --> 00:05:05,338 there is no shame in canceling a date 145 00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:07,107 - if you're just not feeling it. - Mm-hmm. 146 00:05:07,108 --> 00:05:08,742 My sister Meg told me she saw 147 00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:10,577 her date roll up in a PT Cruiser, 148 00:05:10,578 --> 00:05:12,746 so she went on the app and canceled him 149 00:05:12,747 --> 00:05:14,247 before he cleared the valet stand. 150 00:05:14,248 --> 00:05:18,008 And then she called an Uber, which sadly was also him. 151 00:05:18,009 --> 00:05:20,479 Uh, well, good for her, 152 00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:23,023 but I don't judge people that quickly. 153 00:05:23,024 --> 00:05:24,858 First dates are always awkward. 154 00:05:24,859 --> 00:05:26,693 Maybe this one will be different. 155 00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:33,800 Oh, seriously? 156 00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:36,803 Yeah, yeah. Went... went right through my foot. 157 00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:40,040 Wow. Ouch. 158 00:05:41,042 --> 00:05:42,976 Yeah. 159 00:05:45,317 --> 00:05:46,774 Yeah, yeah, it was worse. 160 00:05:46,775 --> 00:05:48,623 Somehow, it was worse. 161 00:05:48,624 --> 00:05:50,877 Well, now you know, and you can move on. 162 00:05:50,878 --> 00:05:53,080 Yeah. I can move on. You know what? 163 00:05:53,081 --> 00:05:54,500 You're exactly right about that. 164 00:05:54,501 --> 00:05:56,535 - I can just move on. - Mm-hmm. 165 00:05:56,536 --> 00:05:59,953 Ugh. It's Lizzie. "Last night was fun." 166 00:05:59,954 --> 00:06:01,388 Really? 167 00:06:01,389 --> 00:06:03,390 I mean, I guess she did laugh a lot. 168 00:06:03,391 --> 00:06:06,460 - Not at my jokes, but still... - Hey. 169 00:06:06,461 --> 00:06:08,662 - You're a magnetic guy. - Hmm. 170 00:06:08,663 --> 00:06:11,665 - Yeah, but I don't know, what do I do? - Nothing. 171 00:06:11,666 --> 00:06:13,734 - Come on. No, come on, man. - You do nothing, Wade. 172 00:06:13,735 --> 00:06:15,398 I'm not that kind of guy. How about this? 173 00:06:15,399 --> 00:06:18,468 How about just, uh, "Yes, it was"? 174 00:06:19,140 --> 00:06:20,307 Done. 175 00:06:20,308 --> 00:06:22,309 There it is. 176 00:06:22,310 --> 00:06:24,978 - No looking back. - No looking back. 177 00:06:24,979 --> 00:06:27,380 - Okay. - All right. 178 00:06:27,381 --> 00:06:29,783 Yeah, it's time to play some soccer. 179 00:06:32,854 --> 00:06:33,954 Morning. 180 00:06:33,955 --> 00:06:35,188 Morning. 181 00:06:35,189 --> 00:06:37,257 Oh, what's that? 182 00:06:37,258 --> 00:06:41,294 Oh. Uh, it's that woman Lizzie I went out with. 183 00:06:41,295 --> 00:06:43,497 She sent me a friend request. 184 00:06:44,699 --> 00:06:46,533 You don't have to accept it. 185 00:06:46,534 --> 00:06:50,303 Yeah... that seems kind of mean. 186 00:06:50,304 --> 00:06:52,506 No reason not to be friends. 187 00:06:58,012 --> 00:06:59,980 Ah, Lizzie. 188 00:06:59,981 --> 00:07:02,763 You posted a picture of your lunch. Cool. 189 00:07:07,655 --> 00:07:10,891 Oh, I really don't want to play Boggle with you right now. 190 00:07:12,527 --> 00:07:15,896 Cat... catch... 191 00:07:17,498 --> 00:07:19,766 That's cute. 192 00:07:21,536 --> 00:07:23,737 Oh, come on. Uh... 193 00:07:30,144 --> 00:07:32,366 Ah, would you stop it? 194 00:07:32,367 --> 00:07:33,647 - Stop! - What? 195 00:07:33,648 --> 00:07:35,415 - Oh, you okay? - No. 196 00:07:35,416 --> 00:07:38,309 - It's Lizzie. - Lizzie? Lizzie the dud? 197 00:07:38,310 --> 00:07:41,658 Yes. Yes, we have been in almost constant contact. 198 00:07:41,659 --> 00:07:43,509 - Ugh. - Guys, I'm drowning here. 199 00:07:43,510 --> 00:07:45,397 I had no idea that dating 200 00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:46,646 was going to be this complicated. 201 00:07:46,647 --> 00:07:48,305 When I was young, you would just go 202 00:07:48,306 --> 00:07:50,096 to a keg party at somebody's farm, 203 00:07:50,097 --> 00:07:52,683 and you would meet a girl at the bonfire 204 00:07:52,684 --> 00:07:53,728 - and start making out. - Right. 205 00:07:53,729 --> 00:07:55,335 - Mmm. - Next thing you know, bam. 206 00:07:55,336 --> 00:07:57,704 You're a thing. And after a while, you would have 207 00:07:57,705 --> 00:07:59,808 some dumb fight, and she'd throw 208 00:07:59,809 --> 00:08:01,212 all your cassettes out the truck window, 209 00:08:01,213 --> 00:08:03,443 and that was it. You just moved on. 210 00:08:03,444 --> 00:08:04,511 Right. 211 00:08:04,512 --> 00:08:07,247 Right, hey, uh, quick question: 212 00:08:07,248 --> 00:08:10,592 Did you grow up inside of a John Cougar Mellencamp song? 213 00:08:11,686 --> 00:08:14,621 - Yeah... Sort of. - Ah. That explains that. 214 00:08:14,622 --> 00:08:17,357 Look, the whole thing, it just happens so fast now. 215 00:08:17,358 --> 00:08:18,916 I mean, I know everything there is to know 216 00:08:18,917 --> 00:08:21,011 about this woman. Her rabbit has diarrhea. 217 00:08:21,012 --> 00:08:22,036 - Wow. - Ugh. 218 00:08:22,037 --> 00:08:23,811 I mean, what do... what do I do? 219 00:08:23,812 --> 00:08:24,978 You can change your number. 220 00:08:25,971 --> 00:08:27,667 Tell her to feed the rabbit a banana? 221 00:08:27,668 --> 00:08:28,668 What? 222 00:08:28,669 --> 00:08:29,736 Cheese? 223 00:08:29,737 --> 00:08:31,998 Guys, I don't even know why I'm even asking you. 224 00:08:31,999 --> 00:08:34,040 You have no idea what it's like out there now. 225 00:08:34,041 --> 00:08:35,408 Ho, ho. 226 00:08:35,409 --> 00:08:36,543 - Oh, God. - Well... 227 00:08:36,544 --> 00:08:37,577 - God. - What? 228 00:08:37,578 --> 00:08:40,213 - What is it now? - She got bangs. 229 00:08:40,214 --> 00:08:42,044 She got... Well, okay. 230 00:08:42,045 --> 00:08:43,759 - Relax. Don't like it. Just don't like it. - That's her choice. 231 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:44,817 No, Wade! 232 00:08:44,818 --> 00:08:46,497 - Oh! Why? - Come on! 233 00:08:46,498 --> 00:08:49,656 Well, I'm-I'm sure she's probably feeling insecure she got bangs. 234 00:08:49,657 --> 00:08:51,625 - Well, I get that. - What? 235 00:08:51,626 --> 00:08:53,159 It's a big move. 236 00:08:55,373 --> 00:08:57,607 How can Wade say I don't know what it's like out there? 237 00:08:57,608 --> 00:09:00,108 He's just wrong. I'm not out of touch. 238 00:09:00,109 --> 00:09:02,477 - Please. You were never in touch. - What?! 239 00:09:02,478 --> 00:09:04,266 I could write a book on dating. 240 00:09:04,267 --> 00:09:06,378 You remember how I wooed you with champagne? 241 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:09,698 Wooed? You yelled at me from across the club, 242 00:09:09,699 --> 00:09:10,824 "Yo, baby! 243 00:09:10,825 --> 00:09:12,015 I got Cristal! 244 00:09:12,016 --> 00:09:13,629 The best for the best!" 245 00:09:13,630 --> 00:09:14,787 It worked, didn't it? 246 00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:16,646 Yes, it worked. 247 00:09:16,647 --> 00:09:19,306 And that's why it's going in my book. 248 00:09:19,307 --> 00:09:21,646 Wade's wrong. We know what it's like out there. 249 00:09:21,647 --> 00:09:23,514 We were just in the game, like, a minute ago. 250 00:09:23,515 --> 00:09:25,550 Honey, it's been 20 years. 251 00:09:25,551 --> 00:09:27,285 Oh, my God. Has it? 252 00:09:27,286 --> 00:09:28,519 Deels, are we old? 253 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:30,121 - No, we're not old. - No. 254 00:09:30,122 --> 00:09:32,056 - We got our whole lives ahead of us. - Yes. 255 00:09:32,057 --> 00:09:33,358 Just less of it. 256 00:09:33,359 --> 00:09:36,327 Aw, crap. Let's go make love right now. 257 00:09:36,328 --> 00:09:37,328 - Yes. - Yes. 258 00:09:37,329 --> 00:09:39,297 - Yes. - Yeah. 259 00:09:39,298 --> 00:09:40,698 Or... 260 00:09:40,699 --> 00:09:42,133 I'm listening. 261 00:09:42,134 --> 00:09:43,134 Tonight. 262 00:09:43,135 --> 00:09:44,836 - Better. Yeah. - Yeah. 263 00:09:44,837 --> 00:09:47,035 - Yeah. - I'm gonna put it in the shared calendar. 264 00:09:47,036 --> 00:09:50,174 Good. 'Cause you've just been served. 265 00:09:50,175 --> 00:09:51,600 You know, we'd been together two weeks, 266 00:09:51,601 --> 00:09:53,838 and you still thought my name was Nicole. 267 00:09:53,839 --> 00:09:55,508 - It was a loud club. - Mmm. 268 00:09:55,509 --> 00:09:56,988 Are you getting a divorce? 269 00:09:56,989 --> 00:09:59,516 We are having an adult conversation. 270 00:09:59,517 --> 00:10:02,509 Connor's parents got a divorce, and he got an iPad. 271 00:10:02,510 --> 00:10:04,373 Well, sorry, we're very happy together, 272 00:10:04,374 --> 00:10:05,656 so you're getting nothing. 273 00:10:05,657 --> 00:10:07,179 I don't know. 274 00:10:07,180 --> 00:10:09,505 - Maybe Wade is right. - Hmm? 275 00:10:09,506 --> 00:10:11,429 I'm not in these streets like I used to be. 276 00:10:11,430 --> 00:10:13,455 And I want to help him, but I don't even know 277 00:10:13,456 --> 00:10:15,199 what the rules are anymore. 278 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:18,169 You know who does? 279 00:10:18,170 --> 00:10:20,338 Please don't say my sister. 280 00:10:20,339 --> 00:10:23,374 Okay, Meg, I just want you to talk to him. 281 00:10:23,375 --> 00:10:26,867 - Do not hit on him. Do not touch him. - I won't. 282 00:10:26,868 --> 00:10:29,247 I mean it, he's in a very vulnerable place. 283 00:10:29,248 --> 00:10:31,382 How vulnerable? 284 00:10:31,383 --> 00:10:34,685 Meg, I do not want him mixed up in your whole mess. 285 00:10:34,686 --> 00:10:37,455 - I am not a mess. - What's in the coffee cup? 286 00:10:37,456 --> 00:10:39,190 Coffee. 287 00:10:39,191 --> 00:10:40,558 Try again. 288 00:10:40,559 --> 00:10:41,926 Wine. 289 00:10:41,927 --> 00:10:43,061 Thank you. 290 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:49,512 Hey. Where's Grace? 291 00:10:49,513 --> 00:10:51,569 Ah, she insisted on staying home. 292 00:10:51,570 --> 00:10:53,538 Not sure what's going on with her lately, 293 00:10:53,539 --> 00:10:55,773 but just trying to give her a little space. 294 00:10:55,774 --> 00:10:57,319 Yeah, I wouldn't worry about that, man. 295 00:10:57,320 --> 00:10:59,545 I was a bit of a loner myself when I was her age. 296 00:10:59,546 --> 00:11:02,155 You know, but luckily, I found speed metal, 297 00:11:02,156 --> 00:11:04,624 started getting high, and a whole new world of colors 298 00:11:04,625 --> 00:11:05,658 opened up to me. 299 00:11:05,659 --> 00:11:08,194 - What? - Oh, but don't worry, Wade. 300 00:11:08,195 --> 00:11:10,163 - She's nothing like him. - Oh, no, no. Not at all. 301 00:11:10,164 --> 00:11:11,422 That's not what I was saying. 302 00:11:11,423 --> 00:11:13,982 Hey, guys. Hey, Wade. 303 00:11:13,983 --> 00:11:15,768 Uh, you remember my sister Meg. 304 00:11:15,769 --> 00:11:17,101 She was at the game today. 305 00:11:17,102 --> 00:11:19,394 Yeah, yeah, Meg. Hey, how you doing? 306 00:11:19,395 --> 00:11:22,755 I'm fine. So fine. 307 00:11:22,756 --> 00:11:24,080 Natalie, 308 00:11:24,081 --> 00:11:25,982 check me out. 309 00:11:28,081 --> 00:11:32,618 These things are so hot they're illegal in ten states. 310 00:11:34,321 --> 00:11:36,189 Are you crying? 311 00:11:36,190 --> 00:11:39,058 No. I'm cool. 312 00:11:41,934 --> 00:11:44,645 Wade, honey, I'm on all the dating sites. 313 00:11:44,646 --> 00:11:46,900 I know what's what, okay? And I'll tell you something. 314 00:11:46,901 --> 00:11:48,772 These women aren't just sitting by the phone 315 00:11:48,773 --> 00:11:51,004 waiting for a Prince Charming to call. Okay? 316 00:11:51,005 --> 00:11:52,908 Men are a commodity. Trust me. 317 00:11:52,909 --> 00:11:54,862 I'm dating three guys right now. 318 00:11:54,863 --> 00:11:56,176 Bread-crumbing another. 319 00:11:56,177 --> 00:11:58,411 And this guy that I Caspered four guys ago 320 00:11:58,412 --> 00:12:00,380 is orbiting me. 321 00:12:00,381 --> 00:12:01,848 I'm sorry. 322 00:12:01,849 --> 00:12:03,507 - What? - Was that even English? 323 00:12:03,508 --> 00:12:05,879 What I'm saying is don't worry, baby. 324 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:07,594 Just because you went on a date with someone 325 00:12:07,595 --> 00:12:09,859 does not mean you're in a relationship, okay? 326 00:12:09,860 --> 00:12:12,195 Boom. See, Wade? You better listen to Meg. 327 00:12:12,196 --> 00:12:14,394 - She knows what she's talking about. - Yeah. 328 00:12:14,395 --> 00:12:16,162 I guess it was just a couple of dates. 329 00:12:16,163 --> 00:12:18,498 - A couple? - Uh, yeah. 330 00:12:18,499 --> 00:12:19,999 That-that's not a problem, right? 331 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,292 Okay, okay, cool. 332 00:12:21,293 --> 00:12:23,436 Just as long as you cut it off before a third. 333 00:12:23,437 --> 00:12:25,538 Uh, there-there is a third. 334 00:12:25,539 --> 00:12:27,173 - Oh, boy. - Uh, she invited me to 335 00:12:27,174 --> 00:12:28,708 - her friend's play. - Ugh. 336 00:12:28,709 --> 00:12:30,642 - And you said yes? - Well, I clicked "interested" 337 00:12:30,643 --> 00:12:33,332 on Facebook, and she called me out on it, so yeah. 338 00:12:33,333 --> 00:12:34,847 Why are you Facebook friends with this woman? 339 00:12:34,848 --> 00:12:36,993 Because she asked. And she likes to play Boggle. 340 00:12:36,994 --> 00:12:38,809 Wait, you're playing Boggle with her? 341 00:12:38,810 --> 00:12:40,587 I'm sorry, I'm too late. 342 00:12:40,588 --> 00:12:42,355 - This man's in a relationship. - No. 343 00:12:42,356 --> 00:12:44,415 I-I was just trying to be nice. That's all. 344 00:12:44,416 --> 00:12:46,083 And what'd we tell you about trying to be nice? 345 00:12:46,084 --> 00:12:47,653 Okay, you were right. 346 00:12:47,654 --> 00:12:50,096 - Well, break up with her. - I can't do that. 347 00:12:50,097 --> 00:12:51,408 Oh, for God sakes, why not? 348 00:12:51,409 --> 00:12:53,099 Because that would leave her alone. 349 00:12:53,100 --> 00:12:56,110 And that's the worst thing that you could do to somebody. 350 00:12:56,111 --> 00:12:58,805 I know, Delia. I've been through it. 351 00:12:58,806 --> 00:13:01,417 Oh, honey, don't you think you're projecting 352 00:13:01,418 --> 00:13:02,699 just a little bit here? 353 00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:03,810 Yeah, this is not 354 00:13:03,811 --> 00:13:05,612 the same thing that happened to you. 355 00:13:05,613 --> 00:13:08,581 Yeah, well, maybe it's not, 356 00:13:08,582 --> 00:13:12,552 but I-I can't hurt someone like that. 357 00:13:12,553 --> 00:13:14,821 I just can't. 358 00:13:16,957 --> 00:13:19,751 No, no, no, Wade, maybe no more Boggle, though, huh? 359 00:13:19,752 --> 00:13:22,377 - No, it's Grace. - Is she okay? 360 00:13:22,378 --> 00:13:24,722 Yeah, yeah, she's fine. 361 00:13:24,723 --> 00:13:27,467 I gotta go. Her bike has a flat tire. 362 00:13:27,468 --> 00:13:29,102 Wait, I thought she was at home. 363 00:13:29,103 --> 00:13:30,336 Yeah, so did I. 364 00:13:30,337 --> 00:13:32,405 Oh, geez. 365 00:13:32,406 --> 00:13:33,520 Poor guy. 366 00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:37,163 - Aw, he's just too nice for this world. - Yeah. 367 00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:39,846 Ooh, I would make him so happy. 368 00:13:39,847 --> 00:13:41,105 Aw. 369 00:13:41,106 --> 00:13:42,773 Have I not been clear with you? 370 00:13:45,409 --> 00:13:47,482 Noah, did you eat your supper? 371 00:13:47,483 --> 00:13:50,218 My tummy hurts for no reason. 372 00:13:51,589 --> 00:13:54,017 Did you eat this whole bag of red-hot nonsense? 373 00:13:54,018 --> 00:13:55,423 And a whole thing of Sour Bombz. 374 00:13:55,424 --> 00:13:57,990 - They're not even sour to me. - Oh, God. 375 00:13:57,991 --> 00:13:59,224 Try to get some milk in him. 376 00:13:59,225 --> 00:14:00,426 Whichever end it comes out of, 377 00:14:00,427 --> 00:14:01,660 it is not gonna be pretty. 378 00:14:01,661 --> 00:14:02,819 Ben? 379 00:14:02,820 --> 00:14:04,253 Why does Noah keep doing that? 380 00:14:04,254 --> 00:14:05,915 Because he wants to impress you. 381 00:14:05,916 --> 00:14:07,349 Are you saying Noah likes me? 382 00:14:08,404 --> 00:14:10,462 He's, like, ten. Like, a young ten. 383 00:14:10,463 --> 00:14:12,548 Okay, he's not even thinking on that level. 384 00:14:12,549 --> 00:14:15,370 - This is a prepubescent courtship ritual. - Mm-hmm. 385 00:14:15,371 --> 00:14:16,952 - I was gonna say the same thing. - Yeah. 386 00:14:16,953 --> 00:14:19,973 - Okay, well, that is weird and gross. - Uh-huh, well, 387 00:14:19,974 --> 00:14:22,209 I hate to break it to you, but the subsequent phases 388 00:14:22,210 --> 00:14:24,420 of male development aren't much of an improvement. 389 00:14:24,421 --> 00:14:26,050 Hey, Deels, check me out. 390 00:14:26,051 --> 00:14:28,954 I'm having a food baby. 391 00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:30,522 Might be twins. 392 00:14:30,523 --> 00:14:32,958 Oh, good for you. 393 00:14:40,467 --> 00:14:43,197 Look, before you say anything, I was wearing my helmet. 394 00:14:43,198 --> 00:14:44,636 - That's important to remember. - Grace... 395 00:14:44,637 --> 00:14:46,138 are you out of your mind? 396 00:14:46,139 --> 00:14:48,048 Do you really think this is okay? 397 00:14:48,049 --> 00:14:50,726 Sneaking out of the house, coming downtown to do 398 00:14:50,727 --> 00:14:51,844 God knows what. 399 00:14:51,845 --> 00:14:53,946 - You won't understand, Dad. - No, 400 00:14:53,947 --> 00:14:55,214 I probably won't. 401 00:14:55,215 --> 00:14:58,650 But just for the fun of it, let's-let's try. 402 00:14:58,651 --> 00:15:01,053 I was just going to walls. 403 00:15:01,054 --> 00:15:02,454 Walls? 404 00:15:02,455 --> 00:15:03,990 For Instagram. 405 00:15:05,892 --> 00:15:08,861 - Instagram is an app. - I know that. 406 00:15:08,862 --> 00:15:11,630 It's the whole wall part that I'm not getting. 407 00:15:14,487 --> 00:15:17,223 All of this just to take your picture 408 00:15:17,224 --> 00:15:18,284 in front of a wall? 409 00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:19,776 Come on, Grace, don't you think that's a little... 410 00:15:19,777 --> 00:15:22,276 Stupid? Yes, Dad, it's stupid. 411 00:15:22,277 --> 00:15:24,176 That's why I was trying to hide it from you. 412 00:15:24,177 --> 00:15:26,879 And, I mean, I'm sorry, it's just... 413 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:29,548 I mean, all the girls at my school are doing it, 414 00:15:29,549 --> 00:15:32,584 and I know I shouldn't care about that, but I do. 415 00:15:32,585 --> 00:15:34,186 And they're all getting likes. 416 00:15:34,187 --> 00:15:35,587 I want likes, too. 417 00:15:35,588 --> 00:15:37,823 I mean, I hate likes, but I still want them. 418 00:15:37,824 --> 00:15:40,883 So you're-you're doing this to be popular? 419 00:15:40,884 --> 00:15:45,164 No, no, not popular. Just... normal. 420 00:15:46,399 --> 00:15:48,555 I mean, after the past year, I just... 421 00:15:50,503 --> 00:15:52,905 I want to feel normal again. 422 00:15:55,542 --> 00:15:58,410 Yeah. Hey, come here. 423 00:16:00,747 --> 00:16:02,948 I get that. 424 00:16:04,350 --> 00:16:06,852 I'm trying to feel normal, too. 425 00:16:06,853 --> 00:16:09,221 That's why I started dating again. 426 00:16:09,222 --> 00:16:12,824 Thought it would help me get back to being myself. 427 00:16:13,860 --> 00:16:15,227 Is it working? 428 00:16:15,228 --> 00:16:17,062 No, it is not. 429 00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:19,431 I went out with that woman a couple of times, 430 00:16:19,432 --> 00:16:21,567 and then the whole thing spiraled on me. 431 00:16:21,568 --> 00:16:24,937 I know I need to get out of it, but I can't. 432 00:16:24,938 --> 00:16:26,605 Okay, now, that's stupid. 433 00:16:26,606 --> 00:16:28,373 Well, I don't want to hurt anyone, Grace. 434 00:16:28,374 --> 00:16:29,708 Dad, if you're unhappy, 435 00:16:29,709 --> 00:16:32,444 that means Natalie and I are unhappy. 436 00:16:32,445 --> 00:16:34,413 - That hurts us. - Hmm. 437 00:16:35,481 --> 00:16:36,915 That's a good point. 438 00:16:36,916 --> 00:16:39,251 - Right? - Yeah. 439 00:16:39,252 --> 00:16:40,886 Don't call your dad stupid. 440 00:16:40,887 --> 00:16:43,355 - Sorry. - Okay. 441 00:16:44,490 --> 00:16:46,658 We going home? 442 00:16:46,659 --> 00:16:49,928 Uh... not yet. Come on. 443 00:16:53,552 --> 00:16:55,901 Okay, hands a little bit... Okay, a little bit... 444 00:16:55,902 --> 00:16:58,070 A little lower. Just, okay, on the string. 445 00:16:58,071 --> 00:16:59,271 Okay, all right, perfect. 446 00:16:59,272 --> 00:17:01,340 Okay, uh, carried away by mariposas! 447 00:17:03,643 --> 00:17:05,228 - Yes! You're welcome, - Thank you. 448 00:17:05,229 --> 00:17:06,259 you're welcome. Now, here. 449 00:17:06,260 --> 00:17:08,914 Uh, I want you to-to take a picture of me. 450 00:17:08,915 --> 00:17:10,218 - Seriously? - Oh, hell yes. Yes. 451 00:17:10,219 --> 00:17:11,883 - You don't even have an Instagram. - That's okay. 452 00:17:11,884 --> 00:17:13,498 I'm gonna use yours. Your friends are gonna love it. 453 00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:14,886 - No, you're not. - Okay, ready, 454 00:17:14,887 --> 00:17:16,655 - and... - Oh, perfect. 455 00:17:16,656 --> 00:17:19,024 - Oh, my gosh. - How about this? 456 00:17:19,025 --> 00:17:20,826 One where I'm jumping. Wah! 457 00:17:20,827 --> 00:17:22,861 - Oh! With the ninja jump. Yes! - Yeah! 458 00:17:22,862 --> 00:17:24,830 All right, come on, let's go get something to eat. 459 00:17:24,831 --> 00:17:26,448 Oh, you can put these on Lizzie's Instagram. 460 00:17:26,449 --> 00:17:27,516 Uh, that's not funny. 461 00:17:27,517 --> 00:17:30,168 Ah, come on. Hey, uh, guys, guys. 462 00:17:30,169 --> 00:17:34,090 Uh, so, I've been talking to Grace, and... 463 00:17:34,091 --> 00:17:35,749 she thinks that it's time that I end 464 00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:37,475 - this thing with Lizzie. - Oh, wow. What a great idea. 465 00:17:37,476 --> 00:17:39,240 We've been telling you this from the beginning. 466 00:17:39,241 --> 00:17:40,966 Why are you just now getting it? 467 00:17:40,967 --> 00:17:42,948 Look, however you got there, great. 468 00:17:42,949 --> 00:17:44,816 Oh, I felt a kick. 469 00:17:44,817 --> 00:17:47,361 - You got this, buddy? - Yeah. 470 00:17:47,362 --> 00:17:48,887 Yes, yes. Uh... 471 00:17:48,888 --> 00:17:50,222 Dear Lizzie... 472 00:17:50,223 --> 00:17:51,825 - You don't write "dear" in a text. - I know. 473 00:17:51,826 --> 00:17:54,958 I'm nervous. Hey, Lizzie, 474 00:17:54,959 --> 00:17:56,161 how are you? 475 00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:58,469 I hope that your rabbit is feeling better. 476 00:17:58,470 --> 00:17:59,728 Cut to the chase, Wade. 477 00:17:59,729 --> 00:18:01,816 Let me do it for you. Watch this. Check this out. 478 00:18:01,817 --> 00:18:04,136 All right, um, dictation. 479 00:18:04,137 --> 00:18:07,658 Lizzie, it's Wade. Regarding our recent dates, 480 00:18:07,659 --> 00:18:09,831 I regret to inform you that we're done. 481 00:18:09,832 --> 00:18:12,620 Good luck in your future romantic ventures. 482 00:18:12,621 --> 00:18:13,912 Boom. 483 00:18:13,913 --> 00:18:17,904 Lizzie in suede regarding your resin days arigato 484 00:18:17,905 --> 00:18:20,584 inform you that weird one good luck in your foot 485 00:18:20,585 --> 00:18:22,535 your old robotic features. 486 00:18:22,536 --> 00:18:24,227 - I don't hate that. - You know what? 487 00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:26,258 I can do this. I just have to do it my way. 488 00:18:26,259 --> 00:18:27,859 - Okay? All right. Okay. Okay. - Okay. 489 00:18:27,860 --> 00:18:29,384 Oh, I hate to see him go, 490 00:18:29,385 --> 00:18:31,157 but I love to watch him walk away. 491 00:18:31,158 --> 00:18:33,441 Well, Noah's feeling better, 492 00:18:33,442 --> 00:18:35,677 but now he's bragging he's gonna eat expired yogurt. 493 00:18:35,678 --> 00:18:37,712 He's trying to impress her. 494 00:18:37,713 --> 00:18:40,973 I'm doing it. 495 00:18:40,974 --> 00:18:42,583 I'm really gonna do it. 496 00:18:42,584 --> 00:18:45,302 Aw, look at my little man. 497 00:18:45,303 --> 00:18:47,855 He's got game, just like his daddy. 498 00:18:47,856 --> 00:18:49,190 Chobani today, 499 00:18:49,191 --> 00:18:52,028 - Cristal tomorrow. - That's right. 500 00:18:54,771 --> 00:18:56,442 "But please understand that my intention 501 00:18:56,443 --> 00:18:57,897 was never to hurt you. 502 00:18:57,898 --> 00:18:59,698 And while you undoubtedly 503 00:18:59,699 --> 00:19:01,582 will make some lucky man very, very happy, 504 00:19:01,583 --> 00:19:04,673 I'm afraid that that man can't be me. So... 505 00:19:04,674 --> 00:19:06,547 thank you for everything, and I hope 506 00:19:06,548 --> 00:19:08,174 that we can still play Boggle." 507 00:19:08,175 --> 00:19:09,570 - No, you can't. - Delete that. 508 00:19:09,571 --> 00:19:10,728 "Best wishes. 509 00:19:10,729 --> 00:19:12,754 May the wind always be at your back. 510 00:19:12,755 --> 00:19:15,514 - Hmm. - Fondly, Wade F." 511 00:19:15,515 --> 00:19:17,764 Well, it's not short. 512 00:19:17,765 --> 00:19:20,791 - No, it's perfect. Don't change a word. - Send it. 513 00:19:20,792 --> 00:19:21,886 Just send it. 514 00:19:21,887 --> 00:19:22,979 - Yeah. - Okay. 515 00:19:24,114 --> 00:19:25,357 Okay, it's done. I sent it. 516 00:19:25,358 --> 00:19:27,258 - All right. - Thanks, guys. 517 00:19:27,259 --> 00:19:30,586 - You're welcome. - Oh, oh, oh, we got dots. She's writing back. 518 00:19:32,179 --> 00:19:34,284 Broken heart, broken heart, 519 00:19:34,285 --> 00:19:36,544 broken heart. "I'm crushed"? 520 00:19:36,545 --> 00:19:38,670 Oh, my God, what have I done? 521 00:19:38,671 --> 00:19:40,406 What have I done? You people are monsters! 522 00:19:40,407 --> 00:19:42,474 Then your daughter's the monster. It was Grace's idea. 523 00:19:42,475 --> 00:19:43,535 Forrest! 524 00:19:43,536 --> 00:19:45,444 Did you just throw a child under the bus? 525 00:19:46,613 --> 00:19:47,962 Wait, hold up. 526 00:19:47,963 --> 00:19:49,215 We got more dots. 527 00:19:49,216 --> 00:19:51,877 Uh... "JK. LOL. 528 00:19:51,878 --> 00:19:53,518 - Just messing with you. - Oh, God. 529 00:19:53,519 --> 00:19:55,178 I'm on a date right now. 530 00:19:55,179 --> 00:19:57,171 - Call me if you ever want to bone sometime." - Wow. Well... 531 00:19:57,172 --> 00:19:58,396 - Oh. - Whoa. 532 00:19:58,397 --> 00:20:00,025 That's rather forward. 533 00:20:00,026 --> 00:20:01,694 Wow. So that's... 534 00:20:01,695 --> 00:20:02,995 - that's it. - Mm-hmm. 535 00:20:02,996 --> 00:20:05,001 She's fine. Lizzie is... she's fine, right? 536 00:20:05,002 --> 00:20:06,699 - That's what it sounds like. - Oh, yeah, okay. All right, she's fine. 537 00:20:06,700 --> 00:20:09,025 I think everything is better than fine, man. 538 00:20:09,026 --> 00:20:11,237 You're free, and you got a bone in your back pocket. 539 00:20:11,238 --> 00:20:12,538 - Not bad. - So that's good. 540 00:20:12,539 --> 00:20:13,923 - There you go. - That's not bad. 541 00:20:13,924 --> 00:20:15,615 Whoo! We call that the win-win. 542 00:20:15,616 --> 00:20:17,910 Wait a minute, Wade, you got another text coming in. 543 00:20:18,970 --> 00:20:21,128 Oh, don't read the man's texts. 544 00:20:21,129 --> 00:20:25,457 Apparently, he has two bones in his back pocket. 545 00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:27,192 Meg... 546 00:20:27,193 --> 00:20:29,285 - I am very flattered. - Do not talk to her. 547 00:20:29,286 --> 00:20:33,080 Man, she will tear your pants right off. 548 00:20:33,081 --> 00:20:35,048 Look forward, Wade. 549 00:20:36,445 --> 00:20:39,592 Watch The Good Place, all new next on Global.