1
00:00:11,485 --> 00:00:14,414
- Can you pass the...
- I knew you'd bring it up!

2
00:00:16,507 --> 00:00:18,819
You just couldn't wait
to throw it in my face.

3
00:00:18,821 --> 00:00:20,222
- Throw what in his face?
- I don't even know what...

4
00:00:20,302 --> 00:00:21,524
Oh, right.

5
00:00:21,624 --> 00:00:22,729
Ooh, tell me, tell me, tell me.

6
00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,026
I'm missing something.
Gossip. Go, go, go!

7
00:00:24,028 --> 00:00:25,041
Do not tell her.

8
00:00:25,043 --> 00:00:27,170
Your secret is safe with me.

9
00:00:27,270 --> 00:00:29,372
And Grace. So, last night,

10
00:00:29,472 --> 00:00:30,974
Jack and I were at the Cockpit.

11
00:00:31,074 --> 00:00:32,556
He's hitting on
this 20-something who says...

12
00:00:32,636 --> 00:00:33,737
this is the good part...

13
00:00:33,837 --> 00:00:36,220
Oh, daddies love me.

14
00:00:47,292 --> 00:00:49,555
I'm sorry.

15
00:00:49,655 --> 00:00:50,916
Really, Grace?

16
00:00:51,016 --> 00:00:52,077
Peekaboo sleeves?

17
00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:55,741
Aren't you begging someone
to just peek and then boo?

18
00:00:55,821 --> 00:00:57,684
Oh, so this other young guy

19
00:00:57,784 --> 00:00:58,965
starts hitting on me...

20
00:00:59,065 --> 00:01:00,426
I hope this doesn't weird you out,

21
00:01:00,507 --> 00:01:01,928
but I think you're really hot.

22
00:01:03,149 --> 00:01:05,692
You're like an anchorman.

23
00:01:05,792 --> 00:01:09,176
This just in: Aww.

24
00:01:09,276 --> 00:01:11,178
Oh, you're sweet.
Okay, I think I need to know

25
00:01:11,278 --> 00:01:13,521
everything about you, okay?
What's your behind-the-music?

26
00:01:13,601 --> 00:01:17,065
What's your unsolved mystery?
What's your "E! True Hollywood Story"?

27
00:01:17,165 --> 00:01:18,707
Well, my name's Will.

28
00:01:18,807 --> 00:01:20,909
I'm a partner in a law firm.
Grew up in Connecticut...

29
00:01:21,009 --> 00:01:22,391
Oh, my God! Do you know this song?

30
00:01:22,491 --> 00:01:23,652
Wait, I'm so sorry. I'm the rudest.

31
00:01:23,732 --> 00:01:25,394
? I have no words, ADHD ?

32
00:01:25,494 --> 00:01:27,316
Hey, come on.

33
00:01:27,416 --> 00:01:29,238
I'm sorry, Jack. I guess some people

34
00:01:29,338 --> 00:01:31,531
age like an anchorman

35
00:01:31,533 --> 00:01:34,684
and others like a meth-head
mother of nine.

36
00:01:34,784 --> 00:01:37,167
To reiterate, anchorman.

37
00:01:37,267 --> 00:01:39,269
Meth-head mom.

38
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:42,453
I used to love the Cockpit.

39
00:01:42,553 --> 00:01:44,095
Remember how they used to play

40
00:01:44,195 --> 00:01:46,117
"Designing Women" on a loop,
and then we'd applaud

41
00:01:46,197 --> 00:01:47,578
after Dixie Carter's speech?

42
00:01:47,678 --> 00:01:49,391
"And that is the night

43
00:01:49,506 --> 00:01:51,423
the lights went out in Georgia!"

44
00:01:55,367 --> 00:01:57,349
Why'd I stop going?

45
00:01:58,172 --> 00:01:59,531
Oh, I remember.

46
00:02:01,013 --> 00:02:03,396
I got tired of you introducing me

47
00:02:03,496 --> 00:02:05,558
as your drag queen friend,

48
00:02:05,948 --> 00:02:08,181
"Judy Ism."

49
00:02:13,186 --> 00:02:15,649
Mm. I didn't.

50
00:02:15,749 --> 00:02:17,452
Anyway, it's probably
not a great time to tell you

51
00:02:17,454 --> 00:02:19,814
that I'm seeing that
23-year-old tonight.

52
00:02:19,914 --> 00:02:22,291
His name's Blake. It's cute, right?

53
00:02:22,468 --> 00:02:24,771
It's not cute. You're not cute.

54
00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:27,682
Look, I just didn't want you
to have to read about it

55
00:02:27,762 --> 00:02:29,665
in the monthly gay newsletter.

56
00:02:29,765 --> 00:02:31,839
You know, that a really young...

57
00:02:31,936 --> 00:02:34,350
Did I mention he's 23? I think I did.

58
00:02:34,450 --> 00:02:36,852
Anyway, seeing him tonight.

59
00:02:38,134 --> 00:02:40,436
Blake.

60
00:02:40,536 --> 00:02:42,539
23.

61
00:02:46,103 --> 00:02:49,486
I want you both out of the
apartment by the end of the day.

62
00:02:57,714 --> 00:03:01,879
Synced and corrected by johnyd13
~ www.addic7ed.com ~

63
00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:03,502
Steam on.

64
00:03:03,602 --> 00:03:04,663
Ah!

65
00:03:04,763 --> 00:03:05,985
Oh, brava!

66
00:03:06,085 --> 00:03:08,507
That alone was worth the 100 grand.

67
00:03:08,607 --> 00:03:10,189
Steam off.

68
00:03:10,289 --> 00:03:11,791
Begging you pardon, Mum.

69
00:03:11,891 --> 00:03:13,713
Smart shower,
what happened to your voice?

70
00:03:13,813 --> 00:03:16,276
It's me, Bridget, Mum.

71
00:03:16,376 --> 00:03:17,637
Oh, Lord.

72
00:03:17,737 --> 00:03:19,379
Thought the Lucky Charms leprechaun

73
00:03:19,459 --> 00:03:21,201
had crawled up into that thing.

74
00:03:23,624 --> 00:03:25,726
Rosario sent me up.

75
00:03:25,826 --> 00:03:29,130
I'm here to represent the staff.

76
00:03:29,230 --> 00:03:30,892
We'd like a raise.

77
00:03:30,992 --> 00:03:34,155
Give me a break, Mrs. Potato Head.

78
00:03:35,397 --> 00:03:39,421
Rosario said,
"Don't leave until the woman

79
00:03:39,521 --> 00:03:41,223
pays us what we're worth."

80
00:03:41,323 --> 00:03:45,588
Did she call me the A-word,
the B-word, or the C-word?

81
00:03:45,688 --> 00:03:47,690
Yes, Mum.

82
00:03:49,172 --> 00:03:52,657
Even a small raise
would make us feel valued,

83
00:03:52,659 --> 00:03:55,319
and to give us a shred of dignity.

84
00:03:55,419 --> 00:03:57,081
Let me think on it.

85
00:04:02,627 --> 00:04:04,769
Have a bill, trade a fish,

86
00:04:04,869 --> 00:04:07,092
Cayman Islands, take a plane,

87
00:04:07,192 --> 00:04:10,135
that'd cost...

88
00:04:10,235 --> 00:04:13,819
Switzerland... mmm...

89
00:04:17,803 --> 00:04:19,305
Carry the four, write it off,

90
00:04:19,405 --> 00:04:20,827
I'm still rich, deal.

91
00:04:21,623 --> 00:04:23,149
You tell Rosario

92
00:04:23,249 --> 00:04:25,792
that you and the staff
can have your raise.

93
00:04:25,892 --> 00:04:27,274
Thank you, Mum.

94
00:04:27,374 --> 00:04:31,158
Everyone deserves a little... dignity.

95
00:04:31,258 --> 00:04:34,714
On your way down, there's some
dried puke in the library.

96
00:04:34,873 --> 00:04:38,086
And find out who's been reading.

97
00:04:38,186 --> 00:04:40,168
- Hi, Bridget.
- Oh, hi, Jackie.

98
00:04:40,268 --> 00:04:41,810
Shame about what happened to you

99
00:04:41,910 --> 00:04:44,232
at the Cockpit last night.

100
00:04:45,834 --> 00:04:48,017
How does Bridget
know about my humiliation?

101
00:04:48,117 --> 00:04:49,979
Someone in the house must have told her.

102
00:04:50,079 --> 00:04:51,460
You were the only one who knew.

103
00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:54,103
I'm the someone.

104
00:04:54,203 --> 00:04:57,307
Oh, come on, Jackie.
I knew just what to do.

105
00:04:57,407 --> 00:04:59,830
In here, you will find
everything you need

106
00:04:59,930 --> 00:05:02,312
to make father-time your bitch.

107
00:05:02,412 --> 00:05:04,755
Let's start with this little number,

108
00:05:04,855 --> 00:05:06,157
"Scro-tox."

109
00:05:06,257 --> 00:05:09,000
It's like Botox, but for the boys.

110
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:11,162
One drop of this, and your old man balls

111
00:05:11,262 --> 00:05:14,326
will seem like two shiny pink marbles.

112
00:05:14,426 --> 00:05:17,409
Wait, wait, wait. Will they still be
able to show a range of emotions?

113
00:05:17,509 --> 00:05:21,914
Well, they won't be able to look
surprised, so let's move on.

114
00:05:23,956 --> 00:05:27,380
Here we have the world's
strongest magnets.

115
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,863
One goes here, one goes here.

116
00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:33,547
Guaranteed to take the Mitch
McConnell out of anyone's neck.

117
00:05:33,647 --> 00:05:34,988
Wow.

118
00:05:35,088 --> 00:05:37,311
Finally, science is good for something.

119
00:05:37,411 --> 00:05:38,672
Mm-hmm.

120
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:41,876
Now, let's get this Pillsbury Dough-body

121
00:05:41,976 --> 00:05:43,558
back into its tube.

122
00:05:43,658 --> 00:05:44,959
Here we have

123
00:05:45,059 --> 00:05:48,263
a full-body compression garment.

124
00:05:50,305 --> 00:05:52,688
For a fat baby?

125
00:05:52,788 --> 00:05:55,331
For my fat baby.

126
00:06:04,189 --> 00:06:07,133
Will, just table-scape or don't.

127
00:06:14,761 --> 00:06:16,022
- Hey.
- Hi.

128
00:06:16,122 --> 00:06:19,006
- You look great.
- So do you.

129
00:06:21,528 --> 00:06:23,070
Glad I flossed.

130
00:06:23,170 --> 00:06:24,712
I told you that was the move.

131
00:06:24,812 --> 00:06:26,154
Who's that?

132
00:06:26,254 --> 00:06:27,335
That's Stella. She's my best friend.

133
00:06:27,415 --> 00:06:28,917
Yeah, we live together now,

134
00:06:29,017 --> 00:06:32,601
but how long is that going to last?

135
00:06:32,701 --> 00:06:35,163
You'd be surprised.

136
00:06:35,263 --> 00:06:38,007
And he's cute.

137
00:06:38,107 --> 00:06:40,269
Looks like my dad.

138
00:06:54,004 --> 00:06:56,467
Stupid magnets.

139
00:06:56,567 --> 00:06:58,569
Ah!

140
00:07:02,356 --> 00:07:03,620
Hello.

141
00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:05,722
Is this seat taken?

142
00:07:22,114 --> 00:07:24,416
Okay, I got your text.

143
00:07:24,516 --> 00:07:26,338
When did we agree
that you could summon me

144
00:07:26,438 --> 00:07:29,862
with a dreidel and a jar of horseradish?

145
00:07:29,962 --> 00:07:33,913
And when did they start making
"emojews?"

146
00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:36,710
Oh, I just wanted to thank you

147
00:07:36,810 --> 00:07:38,672
for redoing my shower.

148
00:07:38,772 --> 00:07:40,594
You've really gone above and beyond,

149
00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:43,497
and I just wanted to say that...

150
00:07:44,458 --> 00:07:46,721
I want a raise.

151
00:07:46,821 --> 00:07:49,884
You mean a mood elevator?

152
00:07:49,984 --> 00:07:52,006
No, honey, a raise raise.

153
00:07:52,106 --> 00:07:54,169
I've been working for you a long time,

154
00:07:54,269 --> 00:07:55,382
and that's what people do.

155
00:07:55,384 --> 00:07:58,373
A raise would show that...
that you value me.

156
00:07:58,473 --> 00:07:59,615
You don't need a raise.

157
00:07:59,715 --> 00:08:01,937
You're in the top 1% of income

158
00:08:02,037 --> 00:08:04,040
and blood alcohol level.

159
00:08:04,961 --> 00:08:09,125
It's not my fault that people can't
marry money and hold their liquor.

160
00:08:10,847 --> 00:08:13,550
Give me one good reason
why I don't deserve a raise.

161
00:08:13,650 --> 00:08:17,514
You don't do anything!

162
00:08:19,697 --> 00:08:20,878
What's your name?

163
00:08:20,978 --> 00:08:23,041
Lincoln. My mom named me

164
00:08:23,141 --> 00:08:25,844
after our country's greatest car.

165
00:08:25,944 --> 00:08:28,947
You look like a car in need of a jack.

166
00:08:32,311 --> 00:08:35,214
Allow me to intro-seduce myself.

167
00:08:35,314 --> 00:08:37,216
I'm Jack.

168
00:08:37,218 --> 00:08:40,300
- And I think I'm falling for you.
- Oh!

169
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,942
Let me get, uh, some wine,
and I thought I'd make dinner.

170
00:08:43,042 --> 00:08:44,144
Oh, you cook?

171
00:08:44,244 --> 00:08:46,246
That's so throwback Thursday.

172
00:08:49,850 --> 00:08:51,712
Wow. Are these candles Goop?

173
00:08:51,812 --> 00:08:54,315
I feel like I'm on "The Bachelor."

174
00:08:54,415 --> 00:08:57,238
Well, you know gays
and our disposable income.

175
00:08:57,338 --> 00:09:01,142
Didn't have kids, but I raised some
very well-adjusted linen pillows.

176
00:09:02,864 --> 00:09:05,147
Are you sad about that?

177
00:09:07,029 --> 00:09:09,892
I am now.

178
00:09:09,992 --> 00:09:12,295
Mm. Isn't Madonna kinda tired?

179
00:09:12,395 --> 00:09:14,777
I don't know about "tired."

180
00:09:14,877 --> 00:09:16,619
I mean, it is a pretty great song.

181
00:09:16,719 --> 00:09:19,102
Got me through a bad break-up in '94.

182
00:09:19,202 --> 00:09:21,104
I was born in '94.

183
00:09:23,647 --> 00:09:25,269
I thought we had an understanding.

184
00:09:25,369 --> 00:09:26,710
You don't do real work,

185
00:09:26,810 --> 00:09:28,793
and I don't pay you a real salary.

186
00:09:28,893 --> 00:09:31,596
Grace, I am getting a little steamed.

187
00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:33,037
Steam on.

188
00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:35,200
You put the steam on? I told you

189
00:09:35,300 --> 00:09:36,802
not to program it yourself.

190
00:09:36,902 --> 00:09:39,124
You wouldn't even
have a business without me.

191
00:09:39,224 --> 00:09:40,325
That is so untrue.

192
00:09:40,425 --> 00:09:42,208
Why are the jets so low?

193
00:09:42,308 --> 00:09:44,130
How about all the clients I brought you?

194
00:09:44,230 --> 00:09:46,441
Are you saying that you...

195
00:09:46,538 --> 00:09:48,294
that you don't need me?

196
00:09:48,394 --> 00:09:49,856
Why are we doing this, Karen?

197
00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:51,498
- Just say it.
- I'm not gonna say it.

198
00:09:51,598 --> 00:09:53,420
- Say it.
- I don't need you.

199
00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:55,742
That is it. We're done.

200
00:09:55,842 --> 00:09:58,385
You won't hear another word.
I am locking it up.

201
00:09:58,485 --> 00:10:00,559
Shower locked.

202
00:10:01,141 --> 00:10:02,670
What just happened?

203
00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:05,113
Locking it up forever!

204
00:10:05,213 --> 00:10:07,856
- Stop talking.
- Oh, sorry I've been such a drain.

205
00:10:07,936 --> 00:10:09,598
Guess I'll just shut up.

206
00:10:09,698 --> 00:10:10,999
Drain shut.

207
00:10:11,099 --> 00:10:12,321
No, no, no!

208
00:10:12,421 --> 00:10:14,243
Oh, we are at war! It is...

209
00:10:14,343 --> 00:10:15,604
- Don't say it!
- On.

210
00:10:15,704 --> 00:10:17,126
Shower on.

211
00:10:17,226 --> 00:10:19,228
Ow!

212
00:10:28,325 --> 00:10:29,472
I'm on a date. What do you want?

213
00:10:29,474 --> 00:10:30,866
Yeah, I have also got a hot young guy

214
00:10:30,868 --> 00:10:32,648
coming over in five minutes,
and I'm so stiff, I can't move!

215
00:10:32,650 --> 00:10:33,998
Well, if it lasts longer
than four hours,

216
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,908
- call your doctor.
- No!

217
00:10:37,288 --> 00:10:39,583
It's this compression garment
that Karen gave me.

218
00:10:39,585 --> 00:10:41,407
I think I'm going into renal failure.

219
00:10:41,507 --> 00:10:44,531
I just sneezed,
and some pee came out my nose.

220
00:10:44,631 --> 00:10:45,855
What do you want me to do?

221
00:10:45,857 --> 00:10:47,554
I need your pruning shears
so I can cut myself

222
00:10:47,634 --> 00:10:49,216
out of this titanium girdle.

223
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:50,537
God, if I had a dollar

224
00:10:50,637 --> 00:10:51,887
for every guy that came to my door...

225
00:10:51,889 --> 00:10:55,543
Oh, save it for your Netflix
special, Jeselnik. Go!

226
00:10:55,643 --> 00:10:59,868
These stupid magnets! Oh!

227
00:11:09,178 --> 00:11:12,501
Gah!

228
00:11:13,863 --> 00:11:17,186
- Okay, I'm going to need these back.
- Oh!

229
00:11:21,311 --> 00:11:23,574
On second thought, keep them.

230
00:11:23,674 --> 00:11:25,856
Jack, Jack, Jack, wait.

231
00:11:25,956 --> 00:11:27,498
Is Grace right?

232
00:11:27,598 --> 00:11:29,380
Is it creepy
that I'm dating a 23-year-old?

233
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,749
- We're not really connecting.
- So what?

234
00:11:31,751 --> 00:11:35,266
They're young and hot,
we're old and not.

235
00:11:35,366 --> 00:11:36,668
Nothing else matters.

236
00:11:36,768 --> 00:11:37,989
He doesn't like Madonna.

237
00:11:38,089 --> 00:11:41,814
He should be beaten
with a VHS copy of "Evita."

238
00:11:43,415 --> 00:11:44,557
We need this.

239
00:11:44,657 --> 00:11:45,678
You're right. Okay.

240
00:11:45,778 --> 00:11:46,999
Okay. You're good?

241
00:11:47,099 --> 00:11:49,002
- Great. And you're good?
- I'm... I'm great.

242
00:11:49,102 --> 00:11:50,919
- It's not weird?
- It's not weird. Age is a number.

243
00:11:50,921 --> 00:11:53,502
- Exactly. Who cares how old he is?
- Nobody. Who cares

244
00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:56,029
if I'm going to put a full face
of makeup on right now?

245
00:11:56,031 --> 00:11:57,951
- What?
- The first time I met him,

246
00:11:58,031 --> 00:11:59,107
it was dark, and I had a hat on.

247
00:11:59,109 --> 00:12:01,635
- Jack, you don't need makeup.
- I told him I was 25.

248
00:12:01,715 --> 00:12:02,857
Work from the neck up

249
00:12:02,957 --> 00:12:04,138
and keep the lights low.

250
00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:07,702
How do we shut this thing off?

251
00:12:07,802 --> 00:12:10,665
You know that I panic in small spaces.

252
00:12:10,765 --> 00:12:13,388
Oh, yeah? Then you might want
to rethink those knit pants

253
00:12:13,488 --> 00:12:17,313
you were wearing on Monday.

254
00:12:17,413 --> 00:12:19,395
Who programs "lock it forever"

255
00:12:19,495 --> 00:12:20,556
into a shower?

256
00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:22,438
Oh, come on, Grace.

257
00:12:22,538 --> 00:12:23,700
Like you and Will have never tried

258
00:12:23,780 --> 00:12:25,602
to spice up your lovemaking

259
00:12:25,702 --> 00:12:27,404
with a night of danger games.

260
00:12:27,504 --> 00:12:30,047
Oh, my God, honey, that's it!

261
00:12:30,147 --> 00:12:31,408
That's it!

262
00:12:31,508 --> 00:12:33,050
The shutoff code

263
00:12:33,150 --> 00:12:34,972
is Stan and my safe word!

264
00:12:35,072 --> 00:12:37,455
Oh! Oh, oh.

265
00:12:37,555 --> 00:12:39,617
Thank God!

266
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,219
What's your safe word?

267
00:12:44,814 --> 00:12:46,785
I can't remember.

268
00:12:46,885 --> 00:12:49,868
How could you not remember
your safe word?

269
00:12:49,968 --> 00:12:52,351
Well, honey, I've never used it.

270
00:12:52,451 --> 00:12:54,113
Takes a lot for this little lamb chop

271
00:12:54,213 --> 00:12:55,515
to feel unsafe.

272
00:12:55,615 --> 00:12:57,597
It's...

273
00:12:57,697 --> 00:13:00,160
It's happening. It's happening.

274
00:13:00,260 --> 00:13:01,681
I can't breathe.

275
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,605
I can't breathe!

276
00:13:04,705 --> 00:13:06,527
I'm back at Camp Rabat,

277
00:13:06,627 --> 00:13:08,169
trapped under a canoe,

278
00:13:08,269 --> 00:13:10,771
and the counselor is saying,
"Where is she?"

279
00:13:10,871 --> 00:13:12,413
And Janet Eisenberg is saying,

280
00:13:12,513 --> 00:13:15,176
"Who cares? It's just gross Adler."

281
00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:20,422
Karen, please! Think!

282
00:13:20,522 --> 00:13:22,745
What was the verkakte safe word?

283
00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:24,547
Well, I know it's something

284
00:13:24,647 --> 00:13:27,310
that really kills the mood
for me sexually...

285
00:13:27,410 --> 00:13:29,563
Oh, oh! Sobriety!

286
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:30,914
No...

287
00:13:31,014 --> 00:13:32,475
Hillary Clinton!

288
00:13:32,575 --> 00:13:36,119
Oh, that's actually kind of a turn-on.

289
00:13:36,219 --> 00:13:38,041
Well, for me, my coming-out

290
00:13:38,141 --> 00:13:39,363
was pretty typical.

291
00:13:39,463 --> 00:13:41,325
My mom cried, my dad drank,

292
00:13:41,425 --> 00:13:43,380
and my grandmother got rabies.

293
00:13:43,382 --> 00:13:46,330
Unrelated, but just
a rough weekend all around.

294
00:13:46,430 --> 00:13:47,612
That's brutal.

295
00:13:47,712 --> 00:13:48,893
Yeah. How was it for you?

296
00:13:48,993 --> 00:13:50,455
Oh, um... I told my parents

297
00:13:50,555 --> 00:13:52,918
I was gay when I was eight.
They were divorced.

298
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:54,439
They both threw me a coming-out party

299
00:13:54,519 --> 00:13:55,941
on the same weekend.

300
00:13:56,041 --> 00:13:58,043
That was hard.

301
00:14:00,726 --> 00:14:03,023
That's not a coming-out story.

302
00:14:03,025 --> 00:14:07,273
How's James Franco supposed
to win the Oscar playing that?

303
00:14:07,373 --> 00:14:08,915
God, is that the new gay?

304
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:11,758
You guys grow up
in a big happiness bubble?

305
00:14:11,858 --> 00:14:14,241
- Isn't that good?
- No. It's so nice,

306
00:14:14,341 --> 00:14:15,723
it's practically abuse.

307
00:14:15,823 --> 00:14:17,104
I mean, how's it supposed to get better

308
00:14:17,184 --> 00:14:18,606
if it was always fine?

309
00:14:18,706 --> 00:14:21,209
Are you mad at me because I'm happy?

310
00:14:21,309 --> 00:14:22,450
Yes.

311
00:14:22,550 --> 00:14:24,212
No, I...

312
00:14:24,312 --> 00:14:25,774
Probably. Doesn't matter.

313
00:14:25,874 --> 00:14:27,696
Older guys are so dramatic.

314
00:14:27,796 --> 00:14:30,279
? Which is super-hot ?

315
00:14:32,201 --> 00:14:33,542
Does this pull out?

316
00:14:33,642 --> 00:14:35,464
Actually, I have a whole bedroom.

317
00:14:35,564 --> 00:14:37,627
To yourself?

318
00:14:37,727 --> 00:14:39,208
Here's something that will
blow your mind:

319
00:14:39,289 --> 00:14:42,953
I got my own sheets
and pillowcases, too.

320
00:14:43,053 --> 00:14:45,636
Just curious: Um... when you said,

321
00:14:45,736 --> 00:14:48,639
"Older guys are dramatic,"
what do you mean?

322
00:14:48,739 --> 00:14:51,042
Well, you just... you make a
big deal about everything.

323
00:14:51,142 --> 00:14:53,244
You realize the happy life you have

324
00:14:53,367 --> 00:14:56,808
is because we made a big deal
about things?

325
00:14:56,908 --> 00:14:59,551
Yeah, Will, I know all about Stonehenge.

326
00:15:03,916 --> 00:15:06,819
Do you mean Stonewall?

327
00:15:06,919 --> 00:15:08,521
I'm actually not quite sure
what either one is.

328
00:15:08,601 --> 00:15:11,104
Do you seriously, seriously, not know?

329
00:15:11,204 --> 00:15:13,266
Who cares? So I'm not a history puff.

330
00:15:13,366 --> 00:15:15,909
Okay?

331
00:15:16,009 --> 00:15:17,671
That was a kabillion years ago, okay?

332
00:15:17,771 --> 00:15:20,093
- Everything's good now.
- "Who cares"?

333
00:15:20,173 --> 00:15:21,675
Dude, I don't mean to be rude,

334
00:15:21,775 --> 00:15:24,576
but my boner has already called a Lyft.

335
00:15:24,578 --> 00:15:26,403
Okay? Either we're going to hook up,

336
00:15:26,405 --> 00:15:28,242
or you're going to give me a lecture.

337
00:15:28,342 --> 00:15:29,884
You're right.

338
00:15:29,984 --> 00:15:32,447
You're right. And the choice

339
00:15:32,547 --> 00:15:34,249
is obvious.

340
00:15:34,251 --> 00:15:38,013
The history of our people
is a rich and complex tapestry.

341
00:15:38,113 --> 00:15:41,097
Come in!

342
00:15:41,197 --> 00:15:42,738
Jack?

343
00:15:42,838 --> 00:15:44,861
Oh, hey, Lincoln.
How are you? I'm over here.

344
00:15:44,961 --> 00:15:46,262
Can I turn on a light?

345
00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:47,864
Oh, no, no, no, uh, uh...

346
00:15:47,964 --> 00:15:51,026
Follow the sound of my youthful voice.

347
00:15:53,770 --> 00:15:55,352
All right. I made it.

348
00:16:02,815 --> 00:16:03,847
We were everywhere!

349
00:16:03,849 --> 00:16:06,547
Art, culture, business, politics.

350
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:10,286
We rightly took Halloween back
from the children,

351
00:16:11,001 --> 00:16:14,527
whose costumes simply
weren't good enough.

352
00:16:15,277 --> 00:16:16,819
You still with me?

353
00:16:16,821 --> 00:16:18,767
Can you go back to the part
about the gay dinosaurs?

354
00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:20,931
Like, how would they have known?

355
00:16:21,088 --> 00:16:22,550
I made that part up.

356
00:16:22,650 --> 00:16:26,152
Like, there's no such thing
as a "fagosaurus."

357
00:16:26,154 --> 00:16:30,318
And speaking of gay dinosaurs,
let's talk Madonna.

358
00:16:30,418 --> 00:16:32,321
Sure, now, she's got
the face of Baby June

359
00:16:32,421 --> 00:16:34,843
and the body of Iggy Pop,

360
00:16:34,943 --> 00:16:37,166
but that ripped 60-year-old

361
00:16:37,266 --> 00:16:40,850
was there for us, like nobody else.

362
00:16:40,950 --> 00:16:42,251
Like, it's great

363
00:16:42,351 --> 00:16:43,973
that you have no shame.

364
00:16:44,073 --> 00:16:46,736
I mean, you missed the joy
of signing up for football

365
00:16:46,836 --> 00:16:49,551
to fool your parents.

366
00:16:49,553 --> 00:16:52,349
But you guys can never forget
the struggle that came before you,

367
00:16:52,351 --> 00:16:54,814
the people that fought and
loved and... and died,

368
00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:56,796
so that you could walk down
the street in skinny jeans

369
00:16:56,876 --> 00:17:00,168
with rights you never even knew
you never had.

370
00:17:00,282 --> 00:17:03,227
The minute we forget what
we went through to get here

371
00:17:03,229 --> 00:17:06,707
is the minute it could all
be taken away.

372
00:17:06,807 --> 00:17:09,390
And that will be the night

373
00:17:09,490 --> 00:17:13,034
the lights go out in Georgia.

374
00:17:19,501 --> 00:17:22,704
I'm a sperm!

375
00:17:25,147 --> 00:17:29,312
I'm letting go. I'm going now.

376
00:17:38,962 --> 00:17:40,544
You didn't save me!

377
00:17:40,644 --> 00:17:44,348
Where the hell are you going to go?

378
00:17:44,448 --> 00:17:46,991
I know you. You always think
the worst is going to happen.

379
00:17:47,091 --> 00:17:49,274
You're going to lose a client,
then you don't.

380
00:17:49,374 --> 00:17:51,015
You're going to miss
a deadline, then you don't.

381
00:17:51,096 --> 00:17:52,878
You think you can pull off a hat,

382
00:17:52,978 --> 00:17:55,320
but you can't. Honey, you really can't.

383
00:17:55,420 --> 00:17:56,942
I don't know if it's
the shape of your head,

384
00:17:57,022 --> 00:17:58,684
or that weird face.

385
00:17:58,784 --> 00:18:00,045
Stop insulting me!

386
00:18:00,145 --> 00:18:01,727
- Why?
- It's making me mad.

387
00:18:01,827 --> 00:18:04,510
- But you're not panicked.
- No, because you're...

388
00:18:04,590 --> 00:18:07,093
Oh....

389
00:18:07,193 --> 00:18:09,896
Yeah, mommy's got a few little tricks.

390
00:18:09,996 --> 00:18:13,180
Remember that design showcase in 1999?

391
00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:14,621
I was so nervous.

392
00:18:14,721 --> 00:18:15,983
I was hyperventilating.

393
00:18:16,083 --> 00:18:17,525
Mm-hmm, and then I sang you that song

394
00:18:17,605 --> 00:18:19,106
that calmed you down.

395
00:18:19,206 --> 00:18:22,550
? Hush little baby don't say a word ?

396
00:18:22,650 --> 00:18:26,795
? Mama's going to buy you ? Drugs.

397
00:18:26,895 --> 00:18:31,320
Honey, you remembered the whole thing.

398
00:18:31,420 --> 00:18:34,643
- Feel better?
- I do.

399
00:18:34,743 --> 00:18:38,247
I am so sorry, Karen.

400
00:18:38,347 --> 00:18:41,137
I couldn't do what I do without you.

401
00:18:41,305 --> 00:18:45,240
And more importantly, I wouldn't
want to do it without you.

402
00:18:45,337 --> 00:18:47,538
Of course you have value to me,

403
00:18:47,638 --> 00:18:49,620
and you deserve a raise.

404
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:51,462
Thanks, honey.

405
00:18:51,562 --> 00:18:52,743
I guess your validation

406
00:18:52,843 --> 00:18:55,146
was more important than I realized.

407
00:18:55,246 --> 00:18:57,509
Well, you have it.

408
00:18:57,609 --> 00:18:59,751
I love you, Karen Walker.

409
00:18:59,851 --> 00:19:02,194
Right back at you, Grace Adler.

410
00:19:02,294 --> 00:19:03,796
Shower off.

411
00:19:03,896 --> 00:19:06,759
- Wait a second.
- Hey!

412
00:19:06,859 --> 00:19:10,082
"Grace Adler" is your safe word?

413
00:19:10,182 --> 00:19:11,444
My name

414
00:19:11,544 --> 00:19:15,368
is your sexual buzzkill?

415
00:19:16,330 --> 00:19:17,811
It's better this way.

416
00:19:22,796 --> 00:19:25,385
Well, we agree, we should probably both

417
00:19:25,387 --> 00:19:27,462
date guys our own age, but, uh,

418
00:19:27,562 --> 00:19:29,944
I think he's going to remember
what I said.

419
00:19:30,044 --> 00:19:33,848
You know, until the ? ADHD ? kicks in.

420
00:19:35,730 --> 00:19:37,212
Mine left the apartment screaming

421
00:19:37,292 --> 00:19:40,496
like Vera Farmiga in "The Conjuring."

422
00:19:42,709 --> 00:19:44,472
I don't want to be a daddy.

423
00:19:44,474 --> 00:19:46,202
I don't want you to age better than me.

424
00:19:46,302 --> 00:19:47,724
Oh, come on, Jack.

425
00:19:47,824 --> 00:19:49,966
Everybody knows Twinkies never expire.

426
00:19:50,066 --> 00:19:51,848
Besides, you're a catch.

427
00:19:51,948 --> 00:19:54,831
You will always be a catch,
no matter how old you are.

428
00:19:54,912 --> 00:19:57,979
How very, very, very old you are.

429
00:19:57,981 --> 00:19:59,497
It's always a kiss and a punch with you.

430
00:19:59,597 --> 00:20:02,340
Hey, Google, play Madonna.

431
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:05,238
I want someone that I have
something in common with.

432
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:06,501
You know, a shared history.

433
00:20:06,503 --> 00:20:08,285
Right? You want to have,
like, a shorthand.

434
00:20:08,385 --> 00:20:09,466
Right? Exactly. Do you want a, uh...

435
00:20:09,546 --> 00:20:10,968
Yeah. Diet if you have it.

436
00:20:11,068 --> 00:20:12,610
- Are you, uh...
- No, no, we ate.

437
00:20:12,710 --> 00:20:14,972
Yeah, I guess we just have to believe

438
00:20:15,072 --> 00:20:16,454
that person's still out there.

439
00:20:16,554 --> 00:20:18,376
Oh, he has to be.

440
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:23,261
What are you thinking?

441
00:20:23,361 --> 00:20:25,344
What are you thinking?

442
00:20:25,444 --> 00:20:26,725
That early Madonna's the best.

443
00:20:26,805 --> 00:20:30,269
- That's exactly what I was thinking.
- Well, I'm glad we're on the same page.

444
00:20:57,999 --> 00:21:02,161
Synced and corrected by johnyd13
~ www.addic7ed.com ~