1 00:00:02,296 --> 00:00:03,759 Previously on The Affair... 2 00:00:03,843 --> 00:00:05,259 Madeline was really happy 3 00:00:05,343 --> 00:00:06,509 that you were here tonight. 4 00:00:07,067 --> 00:00:09,037 You've been working so much. 5 00:00:09,121 --> 00:00:11,325 DOD's trying to save an old base. 6 00:00:11,409 --> 00:00:14,367 Hmm, it'll be an erosion study, probably a swinging gate. 7 00:00:15,461 --> 00:00:18,502 - Where is it? - Montauk. 8 00:00:18,586 --> 00:00:20,388 - Did you make it? - Almost. 9 00:00:20,472 --> 00:00:21,650 Where are you going to stay? 10 00:00:21,734 --> 00:00:23,199 Dad's place. 11 00:00:23,284 --> 00:00:24,654 - Is that a good idea? - It's fine. 12 00:00:25,931 --> 00:00:27,356 You here for work? 13 00:00:27,441 --> 00:00:28,613 I am. 14 00:00:29,006 --> 00:00:30,571 I'm a coastal engineer. 15 00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:33,779 I haven't seen a face like yours out here in a while. 16 00:00:33,863 --> 00:00:35,071 I like it. 17 00:00:37,821 --> 00:00:40,779 Joanie. What's going on? 18 00:00:42,155 --> 00:00:43,488 I miss my dad. 19 00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,168 Man, you're getting big. 20 00:00:53,995 --> 00:00:55,070 Where is Mommy? 21 00:00:55,155 --> 00:00:57,321 All we have to do is think about her 22 00:00:57,405 --> 00:01:00,363 and remember her and that way she will always be with us. 23 00:01:01,142 --> 00:01:03,515 Good girl! Yeah! 24 00:01:04,060 --> 00:01:05,436 Gorgeous girl. 25 00:01:15,313 --> 00:01:16,896 Hi, Dad. 26 00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:32,186 Sync and corrections by btsix www.addic7ed.com 27 00:02:38,618 --> 00:02:41,004 _ 28 00:02:54,188 --> 00:02:55,363 Paul? 29 00:02:55,447 --> 00:02:58,280 Hey, baby. How's it going? 30 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:01,945 I'm just calling to check in. 31 00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:04,689 Oh. Well, I'm glad you did. 32 00:03:04,991 --> 00:03:06,164 Where are you right now? 33 00:03:07,936 --> 00:03:09,371 Joanie? 34 00:03:10,226 --> 00:03:11,737 Are you still there? 35 00:03:11,821 --> 00:03:13,488 I'm here. 36 00:03:13,828 --> 00:03:15,070 Sorry. 37 00:03:16,155 --> 00:03:19,112 - How are the girls? - Oh, they're great. 38 00:03:19,196 --> 00:03:21,571 Your mom's coming to visit tomorrow to help out, 39 00:03:21,655 --> 00:03:23,495 so they're super excited for that. 40 00:03:25,616 --> 00:03:27,874 That's good. I'm-I'm glad. 41 00:03:28,946 --> 00:03:30,695 I'm actually heading back tomorrow, 42 00:03:30,722 --> 00:03:32,398 so I'll get to see Mom. 43 00:03:34,644 --> 00:03:35,809 Okay, quick trip. 44 00:03:35,894 --> 00:03:37,426 Did you get what you needed? 45 00:03:40,029 --> 00:03:42,651 Yeah. Yeah, I did. 46 00:03:45,543 --> 00:03:47,660 - I love you. - I love you, too. 47 00:03:53,928 --> 00:03:56,321 You know it's rude to stare, right? 48 00:03:57,789 --> 00:04:00,539 And creepy, given the context. 49 00:04:02,138 --> 00:04:03,221 EJ. 50 00:04:04,315 --> 00:04:05,519 What? 51 00:04:05,603 --> 00:04:08,195 EJ. My name. 52 00:04:08,279 --> 00:04:09,965 My name is EJ. 53 00:04:19,726 --> 00:04:21,257 Oh, yeah. That looks safe. 54 00:04:21,785 --> 00:04:23,557 Your front tire's flat. 55 00:04:23,738 --> 00:04:26,825 And your back tire's flat. They're both... flat. 56 00:04:32,082 --> 00:04:33,325 Good luck. 57 00:04:38,392 --> 00:04:40,282 I should probably give you a ride. 58 00:04:54,769 --> 00:04:56,633 If you touch me, I'll stab you. 59 00:05:09,628 --> 00:05:11,654 Can you drop me at Lighthouse Point? 60 00:05:13,321 --> 00:05:15,154 I can't believe you just got in the car. 61 00:05:15,238 --> 00:05:17,237 - Are you gonna drive, or... - I mean, I could be anyone. 62 00:05:17,321 --> 00:05:18,279 I could be a murderer. 63 00:05:18,363 --> 00:05:21,405 I'd honestly rather die than have you keep looking at me like that. 64 00:05:27,244 --> 00:05:28,778 Oh, my God. 65 00:05:28,863 --> 00:05:30,820 Your car runs on gas. 66 00:05:31,338 --> 00:05:32,737 You're the one wearing a watch. 67 00:05:32,821 --> 00:05:34,321 Who the fuck does that anymore? 68 00:05:34,405 --> 00:05:36,363 It's my dead mother's, you dick. 69 00:05:37,298 --> 00:05:38,446 My bad. 70 00:05:38,530 --> 00:05:40,237 You know you're doing irreparable harm 71 00:05:40,321 --> 00:05:43,003 to a planet that's already dying, right? 72 00:05:43,690 --> 00:05:45,571 It's not, like, a cool thing. 73 00:05:45,655 --> 00:05:48,509 Sorry. If you want me to hear you, you're gonna have to speak into my good ear. 74 00:05:48,536 --> 00:05:50,112 - What? - What? 75 00:05:50,196 --> 00:05:51,613 Am I supposed to understand what's happening? 76 00:05:53,133 --> 00:05:54,904 Not into old movies, huh? 77 00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:56,192 Okay, then. 78 00:06:07,988 --> 00:06:10,179 So what were you doing in the graveyard? 79 00:06:14,832 --> 00:06:16,248 You first. 80 00:06:16,535 --> 00:06:18,446 Oh, I was just looking for victims. 81 00:06:20,087 --> 00:06:22,435 There we go. That's better. 82 00:06:23,469 --> 00:06:25,404 I'm studying some of Montauk's older families. 83 00:06:25,488 --> 00:06:27,112 I'm an epigeneticist. 84 00:06:27,196 --> 00:06:29,654 The plot where you were standing actually belongs to a family 85 00:06:29,738 --> 00:06:32,961 I'm super interested in; I've been studying them for years. 86 00:06:33,045 --> 00:06:35,154 But, uh, I didn't want to walk over 87 00:06:35,238 --> 00:06:37,814 in case you were there to visit a... 88 00:06:39,161 --> 00:06:40,703 husband? 89 00:06:42,712 --> 00:06:43,920 Brother, then. 90 00:06:46,655 --> 00:06:48,536 Cousin? Still no? 91 00:06:48,762 --> 00:06:50,579 Who do you think I am? 92 00:06:50,637 --> 00:06:53,114 Lavinia? Caleb's wife? 93 00:06:53,161 --> 00:06:55,420 What's so interesting about the Lockharts? 94 00:06:55,946 --> 00:06:58,237 Well, I study trauma, so... 95 00:06:59,334 --> 00:07:00,705 So...? 96 00:07:01,106 --> 00:07:03,654 And how it gets passed down from generation 97 00:07:03,738 --> 00:07:05,242 to generation. 98 00:07:08,071 --> 00:07:10,904 I mean, the whole family is steeped 99 00:07:10,988 --> 00:07:13,148 in cyclical tragedy. 100 00:07:13,232 --> 00:07:15,237 Murder, drowning, suicide, 101 00:07:15,321 --> 00:07:16,737 more murder, more drowning, more suicide... 102 00:07:16,821 --> 00:07:18,102 Okay, it wasn't that bad. 103 00:07:18,186 --> 00:07:20,407 Oh, my God. Are you Joanie? 104 00:07:22,844 --> 00:07:25,196 Wow. Damn. I cannot believe this. 105 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:27,530 This is amazing. I'm taking you to dinner. 106 00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:28,637 No. 107 00:07:28,721 --> 00:07:30,488 - Why not? - I have to work. 108 00:07:30,572 --> 00:07:32,820 Well, after work. After you work, we'll go to dinner. 109 00:07:32,904 --> 00:07:35,510 And... don't get any ideas. Okay? 110 00:07:35,537 --> 00:07:37,584 This is just so I can interview you. 111 00:07:37,850 --> 00:07:38,698 No. 112 00:07:39,225 --> 00:07:42,717 That's what your dad said at first, but he came around. 113 00:07:42,810 --> 00:07:45,413 You know, you two have very similar scowls. 114 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:46,815 Do you get that a lot? 115 00:07:47,738 --> 00:07:49,112 - You knew my dad? - Sure I did. 116 00:07:49,196 --> 00:07:50,695 I interviewed him. 117 00:07:50,779 --> 00:07:53,640 Nobody knew the history of Montauk like he did. 118 00:07:55,196 --> 00:07:56,710 How did you...? 119 00:07:58,642 --> 00:08:00,099 How did I what? 120 00:08:00,184 --> 00:08:01,813 Know him? Meet him? Find him? 121 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:02,949 Never mind. 122 00:08:04,029 --> 00:08:06,888 I found him to be pretty happy, 123 00:08:07,398 --> 00:08:08,780 for what it's worth. 124 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:20,239 I never understood why he loved it so much out here. 125 00:08:21,262 --> 00:08:23,112 The more this place deteriorated, 126 00:08:23,196 --> 00:08:24,404 the more summer people abandoned it, 127 00:08:24,488 --> 00:08:25,797 the happier he got. 128 00:08:26,596 --> 00:08:29,326 Said it brought him back to the Montauk he remembered as a kid. 129 00:08:30,092 --> 00:08:33,467 It was becoming a small fishing town all over again. 130 00:08:35,738 --> 00:08:36,883 Yeah. 131 00:08:37,863 --> 00:08:39,506 That was my dad. 132 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,904 There's this misconception that trauma can be inherited 133 00:08:52,988 --> 00:08:54,196 from one generation to the next. 134 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:56,529 That's not exactly true, but what is true 135 00:08:56,613 --> 00:08:59,196 is that children of parents who have experienced trauma 136 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:00,695 are more likely to be, uh, 137 00:09:00,779 --> 00:09:02,237 easily triggered by their own stressors 138 00:09:02,321 --> 00:09:04,571 than children of un-traumatized parents. 139 00:09:04,655 --> 00:09:07,112 So, like, if you and I both experience a traumatic event, 140 00:09:07,196 --> 00:09:10,196 you might be more likely to, uh, develop 141 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:12,987 anxiety attacks or, uh, PTSD 142 00:09:13,071 --> 00:09:14,613 around the memory of it than I would 143 00:09:14,697 --> 00:09:16,784 because your parents were traumatized and mine weren't. 144 00:09:18,039 --> 00:09:19,540 Well, hypothetically. 145 00:09:21,264 --> 00:09:23,180 The pattern is pretty clear. 146 00:09:23,207 --> 00:09:27,488 Children of traumatized parents are just more sensitive. 147 00:09:27,572 --> 00:09:29,779 They feel stress and danger more acutely 148 00:09:29,863 --> 00:09:32,404 because they're primed to. 149 00:09:33,151 --> 00:09:34,820 Okay, here's the theory I'm testing: 150 00:09:34,904 --> 00:09:36,654 in some of the families that I've studied, 151 00:09:36,738 --> 00:09:39,154 there is a black sheep of a child 152 00:09:39,238 --> 00:09:41,000 who turns out to be extra resilient. 153 00:09:41,084 --> 00:09:44,982 So, like, instead of inheriting the anxiety of a trauma victim, 154 00:09:45,066 --> 00:09:47,944 they seem to inherit the resilience of a survivor. 155 00:09:48,028 --> 00:09:49,763 What I don't know... 156 00:09:49,847 --> 00:09:53,223 what I'm trying to figure out is how to predict. 157 00:09:53,984 --> 00:09:55,055 How do you know... 158 00:09:55,082 --> 00:09:57,904 which child will be weaker and which child will be stronger? 159 00:09:57,988 --> 00:10:00,740 Is the trauma more dominant than the resilience gene? 160 00:10:00,824 --> 00:10:02,571 Or is it the other way around? 161 00:10:02,655 --> 00:10:05,863 And-and how does nurture play into all of this? 162 00:10:08,238 --> 00:10:11,571 Like, for example, which are you? 163 00:10:11,655 --> 00:10:12,862 What? 164 00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:15,685 You seem tough. 165 00:10:16,363 --> 00:10:17,726 Really tough. 166 00:10:18,238 --> 00:10:20,670 Uh, which would suggest resilience. 167 00:10:20,697 --> 00:10:21,980 But, um... 168 00:10:22,819 --> 00:10:24,652 you're not that interested in my work, are you? 169 00:10:24,737 --> 00:10:25,887 No, not really. 170 00:10:27,110 --> 00:10:29,029 Cool, cool, cool, cool. 171 00:10:30,572 --> 00:10:32,115 So, uh... 172 00:10:32,821 --> 00:10:34,650 what are you doing with those thingies? 173 00:10:36,327 --> 00:10:38,204 These are nanosensors. 174 00:10:39,321 --> 00:10:41,695 They're basically trackable granules of sand. 175 00:10:42,784 --> 00:10:44,071 Studying their movements 176 00:10:44,155 --> 00:10:46,404 will help me predict how fast the coast is eroding. 177 00:10:46,488 --> 00:10:48,815 So what's the verdict on the erosion? 178 00:10:51,677 --> 00:10:53,568 I don't know yet, EJ. 179 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:56,014 As you can see, I'm still gathering data. 180 00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:58,488 I hope it doesn't disappear too fast. 181 00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:00,446 I love it out here. 182 00:11:01,019 --> 00:11:03,118 I'm actually thinking about buying a house, 183 00:11:03,202 --> 00:11:06,081 property values being so low and everything. 184 00:11:08,178 --> 00:11:09,999 Oh, so you're insane. 185 00:11:10,177 --> 00:11:11,594 How so? 186 00:11:12,155 --> 00:11:15,514 Montauk is built on a pile of sand. 187 00:11:15,598 --> 00:11:17,749 Not granite, sand. 188 00:11:17,833 --> 00:11:20,446 In fact, the whole of Long Island 189 00:11:20,530 --> 00:11:22,705 is basically just the result of glaciers 190 00:11:22,789 --> 00:11:25,891 bulldozing their way across New England, bringing sediment up 191 00:11:25,975 --> 00:11:28,154 from the ocean floor and pushing it into a pile 192 00:11:28,238 --> 00:11:30,155 the way a child would make a sandcastle. 193 00:11:31,572 --> 00:11:33,237 I don't know how fast it's eroding, 194 00:11:33,321 --> 00:11:35,584 but I do know, in about ten or 20 years 195 00:11:35,668 --> 00:11:37,026 all this is gonna be gone. 196 00:11:37,710 --> 00:11:39,743 You'd be crazy to buy anything out here, 197 00:11:39,827 --> 00:11:41,099 especially a piece of property. 198 00:11:41,126 --> 00:11:42,502 But isn't that why you're here? 199 00:11:45,015 --> 00:11:46,915 You're a coastal engineer, right? 200 00:11:47,654 --> 00:11:50,654 Isn't it your job to save the world from drowning? 201 00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:55,363 Hey, where are you going? 202 00:11:55,447 --> 00:11:57,572 Home. I'm done. 203 00:12:03,831 --> 00:12:06,071 Hey, did I offend you back there? 204 00:12:06,155 --> 00:12:08,279 I wasn't trying to. 205 00:12:08,363 --> 00:12:09,875 Don't take this the wrong way, 206 00:12:09,959 --> 00:12:11,279 but you can't offend me 207 00:12:11,363 --> 00:12:13,279 because I don't actually care what you think. 208 00:12:13,939 --> 00:12:16,275 Good point. That's a, that's an excellent point. 209 00:12:18,287 --> 00:12:21,987 Could I, though... could I offer you a compliment anyway? 210 00:12:22,470 --> 00:12:25,112 Just in case, by some miracle, 211 00:12:25,196 --> 00:12:28,196 I did manage to cause unintentional offense? 212 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:31,906 I think you're pretty impressive. 213 00:12:32,572 --> 00:12:35,112 The way you handled yourself back there on the beach. 214 00:12:35,203 --> 00:12:37,097 You're maybe the most impressive gir... uh, 215 00:12:37,174 --> 00:12:38,779 woman I've ever met. 216 00:12:38,863 --> 00:12:40,446 Because I'm a scientist? 217 00:12:40,530 --> 00:12:42,879 Maybe you just haven't met that many intelligent women. 218 00:12:42,963 --> 00:12:45,765 What? No. Because you're working so calmly 219 00:12:45,849 --> 00:12:47,423 in the place where your mother died. 220 00:12:52,071 --> 00:12:53,261 What? 221 00:12:54,814 --> 00:12:56,016 Alison Bailey? 222 00:12:56,101 --> 00:12:58,821 Your... your mom. She died at the jetty, right? 223 00:13:05,435 --> 00:13:07,072 Are you sure that's true? 224 00:13:07,157 --> 00:13:08,657 That's what it says in the police report. 225 00:13:10,113 --> 00:13:12,020 You've seen the police report? 226 00:13:12,047 --> 00:13:13,231 Yeah, the uh... 227 00:13:13,481 --> 00:13:17,154 precinct flooded a few years ago, and they just up and abandoned it. 228 00:13:17,536 --> 00:13:20,029 Left behind boxes and boxes of files. 229 00:13:20,464 --> 00:13:23,095 It's a real gold mine for an epigeneticist. 230 00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:26,862 Can you take me there? 231 00:13:26,946 --> 00:13:28,571 You mean you want to... 232 00:13:28,655 --> 00:13:30,293 keep hanging out? 233 00:13:34,825 --> 00:13:36,029 Okay. 234 00:13:45,530 --> 00:13:49,029 So many dysfunctional family trees. 235 00:13:49,113 --> 00:13:51,862 The Lockharts, of course, are like my Windsors. 236 00:13:51,946 --> 00:13:54,529 I've read every police report about your family. 237 00:13:54,613 --> 00:13:57,654 Your great-uncle's murder, your grandfather's suicide, 238 00:13:57,738 --> 00:13:59,613 the drug raids, 239 00:13:59,697 --> 00:14:01,213 Scotty's hit-and-run. 240 00:14:02,363 --> 00:14:05,488 Did you know even your dad was arrested once? 241 00:14:05,572 --> 00:14:08,334 Yeah. They thought he stabbed someone. 242 00:14:09,021 --> 00:14:10,756 Uh, uh, be careful with that. 243 00:14:10,841 --> 00:14:11,945 Why? 244 00:14:12,507 --> 00:14:15,071 Flood waters have made some of this stuff fragile, 245 00:14:15,674 --> 00:14:17,488 these in particular. 246 00:14:20,124 --> 00:14:22,029 How much time do you spend here? 247 00:14:22,854 --> 00:14:23,968 You know, 248 00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:26,529 I've come by once or twice 249 00:14:26,613 --> 00:14:29,237 a day... for months. 250 00:14:29,321 --> 00:14:31,029 God, you must be lonely. 251 00:14:31,113 --> 00:14:33,706 I'm very selective with my company. 252 00:14:34,155 --> 00:14:35,986 You should consider yourself lucky. 253 00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:46,578 You're not gonna try to Phantom Thread me later, are you? 254 00:14:46,756 --> 00:14:48,447 I don't know what that means. 255 00:14:48,532 --> 00:14:50,321 Have you ever seen a movie? 256 00:14:50,824 --> 00:14:52,677 Like, any movie? 257 00:14:53,290 --> 00:14:55,530 Give you $200 if you can name one. 258 00:14:59,346 --> 00:15:01,526 So, you got a thing for mushrooms, huh? 259 00:15:02,281 --> 00:15:04,529 They reverse the life process. 260 00:15:05,186 --> 00:15:06,489 What do you mean? 261 00:15:07,223 --> 00:15:09,771 They latch onto a dead thing and break it down. 262 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:14,321 Turn it into nitrogen, carbon, sulfur, phosphorous. 263 00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:18,530 Then return those minerals to the soil to make it fertile again. 264 00:15:20,903 --> 00:15:24,195 So... decay turns you on. 265 00:15:25,779 --> 00:15:27,695 Mushrooms are the greatest hope 266 00:15:27,779 --> 00:15:29,529 for life to continue on this planet. 267 00:15:29,613 --> 00:15:31,699 Once we're all dead and gone, 268 00:15:32,483 --> 00:15:34,649 fungi are gonna come in and clear everything out 269 00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:36,201 and make space for new life... 270 00:15:37,002 --> 00:15:38,235 something better. 271 00:15:39,245 --> 00:15:42,316 That's a pretty casual way to talk about mass extinction. 272 00:15:44,239 --> 00:15:45,736 Where's her file? 273 00:15:46,039 --> 00:15:48,122 - Isn't that what we came here for? - Of course. 274 00:15:52,797 --> 00:15:54,076 Here we go. 275 00:16:24,073 --> 00:16:27,370 _ 276 00:16:27,417 --> 00:16:29,690 _ 277 00:16:32,151 --> 00:16:35,495 _ 278 00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:39,979 _ 279 00:16:41,284 --> 00:16:44,721 _ 280 00:16:57,081 --> 00:16:59,456 _ 281 00:16:59,482 --> 00:17:01,940 _ 282 00:17:01,966 --> 00:17:05,104 _ 283 00:17:10,464 --> 00:17:12,612 _ 284 00:17:13,291 --> 00:17:14,385 _ 285 00:17:14,411 --> 00:17:16,276 _ 286 00:17:19,409 --> 00:17:20,870 _ 287 00:17:20,896 --> 00:17:24,909 _ 288 00:17:30,025 --> 00:17:31,543 You were right. 289 00:17:32,343 --> 00:17:33,779 About what? 290 00:17:34,333 --> 00:17:35,921 She died at the jetty. 291 00:17:37,565 --> 00:17:38,905 Can you take me home? 292 00:17:39,405 --> 00:17:41,488 Like... now? 293 00:17:42,002 --> 00:17:43,142 Of course. 294 00:17:54,870 --> 00:17:56,766 What the hell? 295 00:17:57,957 --> 00:17:59,529 Raccoons. 296 00:18:00,660 --> 00:18:03,308 It's frightening how big they're getting. 297 00:18:04,183 --> 00:18:06,321 Also, there's no, uh, garbage pickup. 298 00:18:06,405 --> 00:18:08,196 You have to go to the dump yourself. 299 00:18:08,584 --> 00:18:10,470 Got it. Thanks. 300 00:18:25,358 --> 00:18:26,862 Um... 301 00:18:27,254 --> 00:18:28,279 What? 302 00:18:28,363 --> 00:18:30,321 Did you mean to throw these away? 303 00:18:30,515 --> 00:18:32,208 They're in the trash, aren't they? 304 00:18:52,895 --> 00:18:55,582 Hard to imagine that woman drowning herself in the ocean. 305 00:18:57,488 --> 00:18:59,404 And yet she did. 306 00:19:01,770 --> 00:19:04,737 Hey! I don't know what you think is gonna happen, 307 00:19:04,821 --> 00:19:06,165 but I'm not gonna fuck you. 308 00:19:06,965 --> 00:19:09,279 That is so far from what... I wasn't... 309 00:19:09,363 --> 00:19:10,862 What the fuck? 310 00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:17,242 Thanks for the ride. 311 00:19:18,405 --> 00:19:19,700 Of course. 312 00:19:23,111 --> 00:19:26,571 So, you gonna stay in for the rest of night, or... 313 00:19:26,655 --> 00:19:28,670 - I have work. - Cool. 314 00:19:29,779 --> 00:19:32,820 Well, then, I'll come by tomorrow for that interview? 315 00:19:35,454 --> 00:19:36,717 I'm going home tomorrow. 316 00:19:39,441 --> 00:19:40,699 I won't be back. 317 00:19:47,543 --> 00:19:50,043 Uh, nice to meet you, I guess. 318 00:19:54,753 --> 00:19:58,357 Hey, uh, uh, do you mind if I hang onto this? 319 00:19:59,103 --> 00:20:01,904 No. I really don't care. 320 00:20:07,447 --> 00:20:10,125 Core samples indicate that sediment is washing west 321 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,962 towards New York City seven times faster 322 00:20:12,047 --> 00:20:13,862 than the previous 36 months 323 00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:16,196 and nine times faster than a decade ago. 324 00:20:17,069 --> 00:20:19,277 The harbor jetties are almost underwater. 325 00:20:20,363 --> 00:20:22,446 partially to blame for an increase in storms, 326 00:20:22,530 --> 00:20:24,827 with the region seeing up to ten times the number 327 00:20:24,911 --> 00:20:28,090 of significant storms a year than even 30 years ago. 328 00:20:28,338 --> 00:20:30,862 Signs indicate that a continuation in the increase 329 00:20:30,946 --> 00:20:34,008 of quantity and intensity of storms 330 00:20:34,863 --> 00:20:36,613 will likely leave Montauk near uninhabitable 331 00:20:36,697 --> 00:20:38,863 in the next five years. 332 00:20:54,829 --> 00:20:55,873 Hello? 333 00:20:56,153 --> 00:20:57,028 Joanie? 334 00:20:57,882 --> 00:20:58,805 Is that you? 335 00:20:59,069 --> 00:21:01,404 - Yeah. It is. - Oh, good. 336 00:21:01,488 --> 00:21:03,361 You're, like, the fifth Joanie I've called. 337 00:21:03,445 --> 00:21:05,528 You know you're pretty hard to find, right? 338 00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:07,080 It's intentional. 339 00:21:09,095 --> 00:21:10,984 Did I leave something in your car? 340 00:21:11,447 --> 00:21:15,466 I was thinking about what happened today at the precinct. 341 00:21:16,779 --> 00:21:18,886 I'd really like to show you something. 342 00:21:20,304 --> 00:21:21,430 Mute call. 343 00:21:22,904 --> 00:21:24,100 Locate pin. 344 00:21:28,377 --> 00:21:29,971 Front door camera. 345 00:21:31,719 --> 00:21:33,427 Unmute call. 346 00:21:33,939 --> 00:21:35,571 You coming down, or what? 347 00:21:56,547 --> 00:21:58,108 A supermoon. 348 00:22:00,515 --> 00:22:02,529 I haven't seen one of these in a while. 349 00:22:02,978 --> 00:22:04,524 I live for these. 350 00:22:06,251 --> 00:22:09,974 I love the way the tide pulls out like that. 351 00:22:10,001 --> 00:22:12,672 It reminds me of that scene in Moana when the sea pulls back 352 00:22:12,756 --> 00:22:15,835 and lets the baby walk out across the ocean floor. 353 00:22:17,194 --> 00:22:18,803 Seriously? Not even Moana? 354 00:22:19,521 --> 00:22:20,895 Did you have a childhood? 355 00:22:29,277 --> 00:22:31,751 So why does it pull back so far? 356 00:22:34,344 --> 00:22:35,812 The tides are largely caused 357 00:22:35,839 --> 00:22:38,213 by the gravitational pull of the Moon. 358 00:22:38,797 --> 00:22:41,071 Supermoon brings supertides. 359 00:22:45,721 --> 00:22:47,475 Why did you come to get me? 360 00:22:51,447 --> 00:22:54,561 Well, I was out here and I realized I didn't want to look 361 00:22:54,646 --> 00:22:56,938 at something so beautiful on my own. 362 00:22:58,987 --> 00:23:01,060 And I wanted to say I'm sorry. 363 00:23:02,013 --> 00:23:04,646 I never said it before, when we were together, 364 00:23:04,730 --> 00:23:07,956 but I'm, I'm sorry about your dad dying. 365 00:23:09,306 --> 00:23:13,320 And I'm sorry about the way that your mother died. 366 00:23:14,055 --> 00:23:17,913 I was treating you like a subject, not a person. 367 00:23:17,997 --> 00:23:19,904 I do that sometimes. 368 00:23:19,988 --> 00:23:22,063 Or, according to my exes, all the time. 369 00:23:22,147 --> 00:23:23,216 But, um, 370 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:27,236 I should have warned you what was in that file before you opened it. 371 00:23:31,242 --> 00:23:32,604 It's okay. 372 00:23:35,417 --> 00:23:38,667 It must have been awful, losing your mother at such a young age. 373 00:23:39,746 --> 00:23:41,328 Not really. 374 00:23:42,532 --> 00:23:44,781 My mother was an irrational, unhinged depressive 375 00:23:44,808 --> 00:23:46,170 with a death wish. 376 00:23:46,689 --> 00:23:49,411 In some ways, my life was actually easier after she died. 377 00:23:50,655 --> 00:23:53,349 More stable, less surprises. 378 00:23:59,709 --> 00:24:02,168 There was a moon like this one the night she killed herself. 379 00:24:02,572 --> 00:24:04,844 I was staying with my grandmother. 380 00:24:06,287 --> 00:24:08,746 I wanted to go outside to look at it, but my grandmother 381 00:24:08,831 --> 00:24:10,891 wouldn't let me because there was a terrible storm. 382 00:24:23,591 --> 00:24:26,415 Bring up historical weather simulation for this location 383 00:24:26,499 --> 00:24:28,112 30 years ago, 384 00:24:28,196 --> 00:24:30,904 October 13, 7 p.m. Eastern Standard. 385 00:24:31,670 --> 00:24:34,071 Uh, what-what's going on? What are you...? 386 00:24:34,212 --> 00:24:36,128 Just give me a minute. 387 00:24:36,155 --> 00:24:37,893 Jump to 9 p.m. 388 00:24:39,128 --> 00:24:40,546 Midnight. 389 00:24:43,287 --> 00:24:45,288 Jump to 3 a.m., please. 390 00:24:49,779 --> 00:24:51,196 Uh... 391 00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:54,279 What just happened? What are you looking at? 392 00:24:54,363 --> 00:24:56,071 It doesn't make sense. 393 00:24:56,155 --> 00:24:57,321 What doesn't make sense? 394 00:24:57,865 --> 00:25:00,225 There was a supermoon the night my mother died. 395 00:25:00,309 --> 00:25:02,178 And the nor'easter was blowing so strong 396 00:25:02,262 --> 00:25:04,404 that there was a negative storm surge. 397 00:25:04,906 --> 00:25:07,202 Pulled the tide out further than normal. 398 00:25:07,286 --> 00:25:08,738 Okay. 399 00:25:08,822 --> 00:25:11,834 The police report said that she walked off the jetty, 400 00:25:13,826 --> 00:25:15,403 but the water would have been 401 00:25:15,488 --> 00:25:17,958 low for several hours. 402 00:25:19,092 --> 00:25:22,834 There's... no way she could have drowned herself 403 00:25:22,918 --> 00:25:24,779 in water that shallow. 404 00:25:27,086 --> 00:25:29,112 Would've been like jumping into a bathtub. 405 00:25:29,196 --> 00:25:30,945 But they found her body here, right? 406 00:25:31,029 --> 00:25:32,196 Up against the rocks. 407 00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:33,712 That's what her file said. 408 00:25:34,704 --> 00:25:35,900 You think it's wrong? 409 00:25:36,821 --> 00:25:38,154 No, but... 410 00:25:38,238 --> 00:25:39,597 What are you gonna do? 411 00:25:40,488 --> 00:25:41,667 What if... 412 00:25:42,109 --> 00:25:43,660 You gonna kill me? 413 00:25:44,472 --> 00:25:46,167 You think that scares me? 414 00:25:46,251 --> 00:25:48,404 I can't be here. I have to go. 415 00:25:49,082 --> 00:25:50,488 Hey. Hey, wait. Joanie... 416 00:25:50,572 --> 00:25:53,685 - Find car. - Slow down. Just talk to me. 417 00:25:53,769 --> 00:25:57,143 I have been in pain my entire life. 418 00:26:17,599 --> 00:26:19,023 T-Tighter. 419 00:26:19,405 --> 00:26:20,804 Tighter. 420 00:26:21,697 --> 00:26:23,363 I said tighter. 421 00:26:25,196 --> 00:26:27,505 - Is this your thing? - What? 422 00:26:27,788 --> 00:26:30,529 You like being, uh, choked? 423 00:26:30,613 --> 00:26:34,071 - What if I do? - You seemed so resilient 424 00:26:34,155 --> 00:26:36,196 when we first met, so pragmatic. 425 00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:37,975 - What is happening right now? - But... 426 00:26:38,002 --> 00:26:40,678 this bit sort of leans in the other direction. 427 00:26:40,705 --> 00:26:43,446 Would you say you have something of a-a-a death wish? 428 00:26:43,530 --> 00:26:45,404 - What are you talking about? - My theory. 429 00:26:45,488 --> 00:26:47,488 Okay-okay, just-just hear me out. 430 00:26:50,777 --> 00:26:53,530 Resilience versus trauma. 431 00:26:53,614 --> 00:26:55,889 Which is stronger? Which will win? 432 00:26:55,973 --> 00:26:58,319 I-I know a bit about your family. 433 00:26:58,403 --> 00:27:00,027 Your parents split, which is, like, 434 00:27:00,111 --> 00:27:02,737 perfect for a controlled experiment. 435 00:27:02,821 --> 00:27:04,571 On the one side, you've got your mother, 436 00:27:04,655 --> 00:27:07,154 who inherited trauma and eventually succumbed to... 437 00:27:07,238 --> 00:27:09,488 Succame? No, succumbed... 438 00:27:09,572 --> 00:27:10,695 - What? - ...to her own trauma, 439 00:27:10,779 --> 00:27:11,820 and on the other side, 440 00:27:11,904 --> 00:27:13,071 you've got your dad, 441 00:27:13,155 --> 00:27:15,225 who also inherited trauma, 442 00:27:15,309 --> 00:27:17,404 lost everyone around him, 443 00:27:17,488 --> 00:27:19,862 but somehow managed to find resilience. 444 00:27:19,946 --> 00:27:21,820 - I think you should leave. - So what I'm trying 445 00:27:21,904 --> 00:27:23,370 to figure out is where this leaves you. 446 00:27:23,454 --> 00:27:25,112 Are you resilient, 447 00:27:25,196 --> 00:27:27,112 or are you self-destructive? 448 00:27:27,196 --> 00:27:28,655 I mean, at first I would've said resilient. 449 00:27:28,739 --> 00:27:31,196 I mean, obviously, resilient. But now... 450 00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:32,737 Were you fucking me for research? 451 00:27:32,821 --> 00:27:35,242 What? No. I didn't say... Did I just say that? 452 00:27:35,326 --> 00:27:36,412 Get the fuck out of this house. 453 00:27:36,496 --> 00:27:37,779 - Joanie, come on... - No. 454 00:27:37,863 --> 00:27:39,863 ...don't be pissed, we're both scientists. 455 00:28:30,447 --> 00:28:32,862 Gimme, it's mine. 456 00:28:32,889 --> 00:28:34,680 It's mine. 457 00:28:34,707 --> 00:28:37,007 Girls, why don't you guys take turns? 458 00:28:37,205 --> 00:28:38,447 Figure it out. 459 00:28:46,724 --> 00:28:47,808 My girls. 460 00:28:47,947 --> 00:28:49,029 Grandma! 461 00:28:49,113 --> 00:28:50,283 Grandma! 462 00:28:51,738 --> 00:28:52,905 Hey. 463 00:28:52,989 --> 00:28:55,071 Hello. 464 00:28:55,155 --> 00:28:56,737 So beautiful. 465 00:28:56,821 --> 00:28:58,112 Hi. 466 00:29:06,301 --> 00:29:07,550 Hi. 467 00:29:07,577 --> 00:29:08,828 Hi, Mom. 468 00:29:15,544 --> 00:29:17,154 Ah, Luisa, I don't know, what are we gonna do 469 00:29:17,238 --> 00:29:18,571 with all these extra cupcakes? 470 00:29:18,655 --> 00:29:21,279 The girls are gonna be on a high for, well, weeks. 471 00:29:21,363 --> 00:29:23,195 They can bring 'em to school tomorrow. 472 00:29:26,330 --> 00:29:28,121 Babe, tomorrow's Saturday. 473 00:29:30,946 --> 00:29:32,145 Right. 474 00:29:33,634 --> 00:29:36,238 Um... don't they have a birthday party? Gina? 475 00:29:38,697 --> 00:29:41,574 - Yes. Yes, that's... right. - Well, she can take them there. 476 00:29:41,601 --> 00:29:43,101 Good idea. 477 00:29:49,779 --> 00:29:50,779 You know, um... 478 00:29:50,863 --> 00:29:53,314 I got to jump on a call in a bit. 479 00:29:53,398 --> 00:29:54,488 Give you guys a chance 480 00:29:54,572 --> 00:29:56,154 to catch up with each other. 481 00:29:56,238 --> 00:29:57,446 Bring the stuff in and I'll 482 00:29:57,530 --> 00:29:59,654 throw 'em in the dishwasher, okay? 483 00:30:00,734 --> 00:30:02,071 Thank you. 484 00:30:06,596 --> 00:30:09,632 Well, I'm glad the timing worked out. 485 00:30:09,717 --> 00:30:12,529 Paul says you've been running yourself ragged with work. 486 00:30:12,613 --> 00:30:14,987 Oh, it's not that bad. 487 00:30:15,071 --> 00:30:18,733 Just feels like it because this last trip came out of nowhere. 488 00:30:19,337 --> 00:30:22,529 Well, between that and the kids, you deserve a break. 489 00:30:23,492 --> 00:30:24,617 _ 490 00:30:24,701 --> 00:30:25,991 _ 491 00:30:32,155 --> 00:30:35,363 Well, if I work too much, it's your fault. 492 00:30:36,077 --> 00:30:37,571 Who else would I have gotten it from? 493 00:30:37,656 --> 00:30:40,447 You work just as hard as you did when you were still my age. 494 00:30:40,531 --> 00:30:42,986 _ 495 00:30:43,699 --> 00:30:46,052 Warning. Sensor error. 496 00:30:46,079 --> 00:30:48,695 - Your garden levels are off. - Paul? 497 00:30:48,779 --> 00:30:51,339 Can you check the level monitor in the vertical garden? 498 00:30:51,423 --> 00:30:53,321 Needs to be reset. 499 00:30:57,447 --> 00:30:58,774 How was Montauk? 500 00:30:59,488 --> 00:31:01,026 Was it weird to be back? 501 00:31:02,552 --> 00:31:05,112 Dad left the house a huge mess. 502 00:31:05,656 --> 00:31:07,699 It made me feel guilty, actually. 503 00:31:08,488 --> 00:31:10,602 That he died alone out there. 504 00:31:11,129 --> 00:31:13,545 I should've convinced him to move out here with us. 505 00:31:14,194 --> 00:31:17,404 I mean, the way he was living, no electricity, no companion... 506 00:31:17,488 --> 00:31:18,446 Mm, no. 507 00:31:19,108 --> 00:31:20,488 You shouldn't feel guilty. 508 00:31:21,984 --> 00:31:24,491 He was not gonna leave Montauk, no matter what. 509 00:31:26,917 --> 00:31:30,013 He was the most determined person on the planet. 510 00:31:34,363 --> 00:31:36,296 That's where you get it from, my love. 511 00:31:37,189 --> 00:31:38,697 Not from me. 512 00:31:41,313 --> 00:31:42,768 You think I'm like him? 513 00:31:44,861 --> 00:31:47,321 Yeah. Exactly like him. 514 00:31:49,862 --> 00:31:51,447 But this is a compliment. 515 00:31:52,669 --> 00:31:54,918 I know how much you loved him, Mom. 516 00:32:01,029 --> 00:32:03,355 I found some sort of shrine 517 00:32:03,610 --> 00:32:05,237 at Dad's. 518 00:32:05,368 --> 00:32:08,715 Bunch of letters. Photographs. 519 00:32:10,248 --> 00:32:11,488 Of who? 520 00:32:12,804 --> 00:32:14,054 Alison. 521 00:32:17,062 --> 00:32:18,571 What did you do with it? 522 00:32:19,239 --> 00:32:20,584 I threw it out. 523 00:32:21,558 --> 00:32:22,821 Why? 524 00:32:25,863 --> 00:32:28,321 Because I hate looking at her. 525 00:32:29,068 --> 00:32:30,279 You don't mean that. 526 00:32:30,654 --> 00:32:31,942 Actually, I do. 527 00:32:33,509 --> 00:32:35,369 She ruined everything. 528 00:32:36,738 --> 00:32:41,488 You know, the only good memories I really have of being a child 529 00:32:42,390 --> 00:32:43,632 are in Montauk. 530 00:32:43,716 --> 00:32:45,821 When you and Dad were together. 531 00:32:48,484 --> 00:32:51,196 After Alison died and you guys split up... 532 00:32:52,997 --> 00:32:54,306 ...that was it. 533 00:32:55,447 --> 00:32:56,947 My childhood was over. 534 00:32:59,613 --> 00:33:02,113 Your mother was in a tremendous amount of pain. 535 00:33:02,140 --> 00:33:04,713 She was not a strong person. Not like you. 536 00:33:06,326 --> 00:33:07,519 But she loved you. 537 00:33:07,546 --> 00:33:09,654 Come on, I was the replacement child. 538 00:33:09,738 --> 00:33:11,695 Oh, my God, don't say that. 539 00:33:12,966 --> 00:33:15,029 Sometimes I think she just wanted the rest of us 540 00:33:15,113 --> 00:33:17,029 to be in as much pain as she was. 541 00:33:17,399 --> 00:33:18,906 And that's why she... 542 00:33:27,623 --> 00:33:28,775 What? 543 00:33:31,807 --> 00:33:34,404 Why didn't we ever talk about the night she died? 544 00:33:35,337 --> 00:33:37,071 About how it happened? 545 00:33:40,655 --> 00:33:43,821 How are you supposed to talk to a seven-year-old about suicide? 546 00:33:45,988 --> 00:33:48,321 You sure it was suicide? 547 00:33:49,919 --> 00:33:51,221 Yes. 548 00:33:52,196 --> 00:33:54,695 I mean, it was terrible, but it was not surprising, 549 00:33:54,779 --> 00:33:56,357 given her history. 550 00:33:57,865 --> 00:33:59,241 Why would you ask that? 551 00:34:03,528 --> 00:34:04,944 No reason. 552 00:34:07,221 --> 00:34:08,513 Never mind. 553 00:34:12,411 --> 00:34:14,654 Look. Your father spent his life 554 00:34:14,738 --> 00:34:16,988 chasing Alison's ghost. 555 00:34:19,703 --> 00:34:22,740 Doubting, questioning, wondering what if. 556 00:34:26,853 --> 00:34:28,567 _ 557 00:34:28,651 --> 00:34:30,369 _ 558 00:34:30,453 --> 00:34:32,453 _ 559 00:34:33,451 --> 00:34:35,790 _ 560 00:34:35,874 --> 00:34:37,932 _ 561 00:34:38,016 --> 00:34:40,016 _ 562 00:34:40,100 --> 00:34:41,580 _ 563 00:34:46,050 --> 00:34:48,321 Ow, Mommy, you're hurting me! 564 00:34:48,405 --> 00:34:50,610 When Daddy does it, it doesn't hurt! 565 00:34:50,694 --> 00:34:52,370 When is it my turn? 566 00:34:52,404 --> 00:34:54,036 - When is it my turn? - Thea, it'll be your turn 567 00:34:54,113 --> 00:34:55,179 in just a minute, okay? 568 00:34:55,206 --> 00:34:56,784 Warning. Sensor error. 569 00:34:56,811 --> 00:34:59,237 - Get Daddy so you can't hurt me. - Your garden levels are off. 570 00:34:59,321 --> 00:35:01,321 When is it my turn? When is it my...? 571 00:35:02,851 --> 00:35:04,500 My son died. 572 00:35:04,889 --> 00:35:06,112 He died in my fucking arms. 573 00:35:06,196 --> 00:35:07,279 Mommy. 574 00:35:07,363 --> 00:35:09,695 Ow! 575 00:35:09,779 --> 00:35:11,787 Oh, Maddy, I'm so sorry. Sweetheart... 576 00:35:11,814 --> 00:35:14,253 Don't touch me! Don't touch me! 577 00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:16,700 - Warning. Sensor error. - All you do is hurt me. 578 00:35:16,784 --> 00:35:20,157 - Your garden levels are off. - All you do is hurt me! 579 00:35:24,113 --> 00:35:26,238 Your garden levels are off. 580 00:35:32,993 --> 00:35:35,196 Warning. Sensor error. 581 00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:37,447 Your garden levels are off. 582 00:35:43,447 --> 00:35:45,154 Warning. Sensor error. 583 00:35:45,238 --> 00:35:47,572 Your garden levels are off. 584 00:35:53,068 --> 00:35:54,904 Warning. Sensor error. 585 00:35:54,988 --> 00:35:57,311 Your garden levels are off. 586 00:35:58,280 --> 00:35:59,730 Check oxygen. 587 00:36:02,928 --> 00:36:05,124 Warning. Sensor error. 588 00:36:05,151 --> 00:36:07,775 - Your garden levels are off. - I said check oxygen! 589 00:36:13,029 --> 00:36:14,917 Warning. Sensor error. 590 00:36:14,944 --> 00:36:17,080 Your garden levels are off. 591 00:36:21,946 --> 00:36:23,921 Warning. Sensor error. 592 00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:46,533 Joanie, what are you doing? 593 00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:48,404 What's the matter with you? Stop! 594 00:36:48,488 --> 00:36:51,322 - Why? - What do you mean by why? Because we need this. 595 00:36:51,349 --> 00:36:53,613 - It's broken. - Okay. I'll get it fixed, okay? 596 00:36:53,697 --> 00:36:55,737 Just... just leave it alone. I'll get it fixed. 597 00:36:55,821 --> 00:36:57,237 I got guys coming in tomorrow. 598 00:36:58,293 --> 00:37:00,760 It's gonna be so expensive. 599 00:37:05,498 --> 00:37:07,122 Look, it's just... it's just money. 600 00:37:19,182 --> 00:37:21,489 Paul, just, just leave it. 601 00:37:25,029 --> 00:37:26,404 Paul, it doesn't matter, just leave it. 602 00:37:26,431 --> 00:37:28,389 It does matter. 603 00:37:28,530 --> 00:37:30,154 It-it makes oxygen. 604 00:37:30,238 --> 00:37:32,071 And our family's eventually gonna need it. 605 00:37:32,155 --> 00:37:33,987 - It's never gonna be enough. - Sure it will. 606 00:37:34,071 --> 00:37:35,754 No. It won't. 607 00:37:36,238 --> 00:37:38,456 When the time comes, when it really comes, 608 00:37:38,597 --> 00:37:39,945 what are we gonna do? 609 00:37:40,029 --> 00:37:41,820 Stay in this house forever, just the four of us, 610 00:37:41,904 --> 00:37:43,904 living on strawberries and air? 611 00:37:44,523 --> 00:37:46,476 What is going on with you, Joanie? 612 00:37:46,988 --> 00:37:48,446 I mean, was it being back at Montauk? 613 00:37:48,530 --> 00:37:50,529 Because I don't understand what's happening. 614 00:37:50,613 --> 00:37:52,154 Why are we trying to live past the point 615 00:37:52,238 --> 00:37:54,064 that the air outside is toxic? 616 00:37:54,668 --> 00:37:57,029 Because we have two beautiful young girls 617 00:37:57,113 --> 00:38:00,196 - who we need to see survive. - Don't you get it? 618 00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:03,670 This garden isn't gonna keep our children alive! 619 00:38:03,754 --> 00:38:04,816 Nothing is! 620 00:38:04,900 --> 00:38:06,321 The world is becoming uninhabitable. 621 00:38:06,405 --> 00:38:08,237 Our children are fucked! 622 00:38:08,321 --> 00:38:10,199 We're just shepherding them towards the apocalypse, 623 00:38:10,283 --> 00:38:13,615 waiting for the day when we get to watch them die! 624 00:38:13,699 --> 00:38:15,237 Will you keep your goddamn voice down? 625 00:38:15,321 --> 00:38:17,571 All right? You need to get some sleep. 626 00:38:17,655 --> 00:38:19,517 - You'll feel better tomorrow. - I'm not gonna feel better tomorrow. 627 00:38:19,601 --> 00:38:21,237 Tomorrow will just be one step closer to the end, 628 00:38:21,321 --> 00:38:23,408 and it's not gonna get better. 629 00:38:23,492 --> 00:38:25,279 And the fact that you can't see that 630 00:38:25,363 --> 00:38:27,889 makes me really question your intelligence. 631 00:38:35,392 --> 00:38:37,324 Then why did we adopt them, Joanie? 632 00:38:38,196 --> 00:38:40,343 Why did we bring them here? If there's no hope, 633 00:38:40,370 --> 00:38:42,495 why didn't we leave them in Senegal to die? 634 00:38:44,190 --> 00:38:47,732 That was your idea. Not mine. 635 00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:55,505 Now you're just trying to hurt me. 636 00:38:57,320 --> 00:38:58,694 I'm going to bed. 637 00:38:58,779 --> 00:39:00,571 Hope to see you there sometime before morning. 638 00:39:00,656 --> 00:39:02,252 Paul, wait. 639 00:39:06,572 --> 00:39:07,904 Yeah? 640 00:39:15,689 --> 00:39:17,554 I've been cheating on you. 641 00:39:20,479 --> 00:39:21,676 For years. 642 00:39:38,011 --> 00:39:39,154 Get out. 643 00:39:40,153 --> 00:39:42,171 - No. - Get the fuck out. 644 00:39:43,379 --> 00:39:45,207 No. This is your whole problem. 645 00:39:45,291 --> 00:39:49,196 This is the 20th-century, romantic, monogamous bullshit. 646 00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:50,970 What, you don't fucking believe in monogamy? 647 00:39:51,054 --> 00:39:52,529 I'm your husband! Thanks for telling me. 648 00:39:52,613 --> 00:39:54,154 Literally nothing has changed between us. 649 00:39:54,238 --> 00:39:56,047 - I still love you. - Don't you fucking dare. 650 00:39:56,131 --> 00:39:58,404 Thirty seconds ago you wanted me to come to bed. 651 00:39:58,488 --> 00:40:00,737 We're still the same people we were 30 seconds ago. 652 00:40:00,821 --> 00:40:03,488 - Nothing has changed. - Everything has changed! 653 00:40:03,572 --> 00:40:04,798 Everything! 654 00:40:09,866 --> 00:40:12,227 You're so fucking broken, Joanie. 655 00:40:15,044 --> 00:40:16,711 You need to go, just get out. 656 00:40:17,251 --> 00:40:18,613 Get out. 657 00:40:19,116 --> 00:40:21,529 Get... the fuck out. 658 00:40:22,268 --> 00:40:23,600 Get out! 659 00:40:59,071 --> 00:41:01,250 Hey, can I come over? 660 00:41:06,247 --> 00:41:08,851 You just happened to be nowhere near my neighborhood? 661 00:41:10,488 --> 00:41:11,735 Singles? 662 00:41:12,502 --> 00:41:14,862 Cameron Crowe? I... never mind. 663 00:41:15,296 --> 00:41:17,405 - Can I come in? - Of course. 664 00:41:23,613 --> 00:41:26,196 What's wrong with you? Why don't you have any stuff? 665 00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:27,571 What do you mean? I have stuff. 666 00:41:27,655 --> 00:41:31,196 Don't you have any pictures of, like... your family? 667 00:41:32,216 --> 00:41:35,071 My father died right before I was born, so I never knew him. 668 00:41:35,951 --> 00:41:38,321 I keep a photo of my mom on my phone. You want to see it? 669 00:41:39,325 --> 00:41:40,613 No, that's okay. 670 00:41:43,927 --> 00:41:46,363 - Can I have a drink or something? - Yes, you can. 671 00:41:46,812 --> 00:41:48,936 Coming right up. Bourbon good? 672 00:41:49,021 --> 00:41:50,646 Mm. 673 00:42:14,076 --> 00:42:15,571 Why are you looking at me like that? 674 00:42:16,139 --> 00:42:19,279 I'm just trying to figure out whether or not I should try to kiss you. 675 00:42:19,363 --> 00:42:20,779 Are you fucking kidding me right now? 676 00:42:21,192 --> 00:42:22,982 Okay. 677 00:42:23,234 --> 00:42:24,654 That answers that question. 678 00:42:25,474 --> 00:42:27,984 I do want to state, though, for the record, 679 00:42:29,064 --> 00:42:31,238 I'm actually quite good in bed. 680 00:42:33,056 --> 00:42:34,106 Not really. 681 00:42:34,190 --> 00:42:35,945 No, I am. I'm great. 682 00:42:36,029 --> 00:42:38,154 The circumstances last night were a bit... 683 00:42:39,162 --> 00:42:40,363 extenuating. 684 00:42:40,447 --> 00:42:44,300 I wasn't at my best, but, uh, normally I'm dynamite. 685 00:42:44,384 --> 00:42:45,264 Okay. 686 00:42:45,291 --> 00:42:47,171 Just wanted to set the record straight. 687 00:42:48,608 --> 00:42:49,717 So... 688 00:42:50,342 --> 00:42:51,951 why are you here? 689 00:42:55,908 --> 00:42:59,516 Did you know my dad called 911 before he died? 690 00:43:00,508 --> 00:43:01,613 No. 691 00:43:01,697 --> 00:43:03,086 He had a heart attack. 692 00:43:03,959 --> 00:43:08,076 The EMTs told me that they found him on the floor near his bed. 693 00:43:09,045 --> 00:43:11,071 He was trying to crawl to his heart meds. 694 00:43:11,571 --> 00:43:13,530 That's terrible. I'm sorry. 695 00:43:15,647 --> 00:43:17,766 If somebody else had been there, he would have made it. 696 00:43:18,389 --> 00:43:20,777 - You don't know that. - I do, actually. 697 00:43:20,862 --> 00:43:22,819 I asked at his autopsy. 698 00:43:25,270 --> 00:43:26,853 He took a while to die. 699 00:43:28,008 --> 00:43:30,066 - Okay... - I abandoned him. 700 00:43:32,079 --> 00:43:33,488 Just like my mother did. 701 00:43:33,572 --> 00:43:35,488 But I thought... at the jetty, didn't you decide 702 00:43:35,572 --> 00:43:37,654 - that your mother... - No, when-when she left him 703 00:43:37,738 --> 00:43:40,078 for Noah Solloway. 704 00:43:40,162 --> 00:43:41,987 Do you know anything about that? 705 00:43:42,071 --> 00:43:45,093 - Only a little. - She left him right before I was born, 706 00:43:45,845 --> 00:43:47,889 for this married guy that just 707 00:43:48,451 --> 00:43:50,321 showed up in town with his family. 708 00:43:50,405 --> 00:43:53,404 She waited on his table and then she stole him from his wife. 709 00:43:53,488 --> 00:43:54,686 Really? 710 00:43:55,697 --> 00:43:56,726 Yes. 711 00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:02,640 That's who my mother was. 712 00:44:04,321 --> 00:44:05,677 My father never got over it. 713 00:44:05,761 --> 00:44:07,019 I mean... 714 00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:10,965 he got married again, to my stepmother, 715 00:44:12,945 --> 00:44:14,718 but he never really loved her. 716 00:44:17,777 --> 00:44:20,109 When my mother finally died, he... 717 00:44:20,532 --> 00:44:21,765 fell apart... 718 00:44:22,725 --> 00:44:24,196 and they broke up. 719 00:44:25,955 --> 00:44:27,211 How old were you? 720 00:44:29,557 --> 00:44:30,792 Seven. 721 00:44:37,136 --> 00:44:41,612 My dad and I were mostly alone after that, for years. 722 00:44:42,270 --> 00:44:44,728 We left Montauk, we moved to Vermont. 723 00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:47,376 He had a little horse farm. 724 00:44:49,228 --> 00:44:51,130 But he never got married again. 725 00:44:51,946 --> 00:44:53,299 He didn't even date. 726 00:44:56,811 --> 00:44:58,554 He just put all his focus on me. 727 00:45:00,988 --> 00:45:02,190 And... 728 00:45:04,587 --> 00:45:06,979 when I left for college, he moved home. 729 00:45:11,807 --> 00:45:13,241 The truth is... 730 00:45:17,155 --> 00:45:18,988 ...I was relieved... 731 00:45:21,217 --> 00:45:23,337 ...not to spend so much time with him. 732 00:45:25,784 --> 00:45:27,333 His love was... 733 00:45:29,502 --> 00:45:30,878 suffocating. 734 00:45:34,071 --> 00:45:37,026 I felt like I could never let him down. 735 00:45:38,687 --> 00:45:40,835 Like I had to make up for all the terrible things 736 00:45:40,919 --> 00:45:42,280 that she'd done to him. 737 00:45:45,613 --> 00:45:47,434 But it didn't work. I... 738 00:45:48,130 --> 00:45:51,156 I couldn't do it. And he died of a broken heart anyway. 739 00:45:51,183 --> 00:45:52,439 Joanie, that's not true. 740 00:45:52,466 --> 00:45:54,469 Come on. He was an old man. 741 00:45:54,530 --> 00:45:56,385 He was 72. 742 00:45:57,697 --> 00:46:00,363 Ever since he died, I feel like 743 00:46:00,447 --> 00:46:02,742 I can't hold her out of me anymore, 744 00:46:02,769 --> 00:46:05,043 like she's possessing me. 745 00:46:05,697 --> 00:46:07,758 I think about killing myself 746 00:46:08,387 --> 00:46:10,394 all the time now. 747 00:46:10,750 --> 00:46:12,107 On subway platforms, 748 00:46:12,191 --> 00:46:13,654 when I'm holding a bottle of pills in my hand, 749 00:46:13,738 --> 00:46:16,129 when a fucking truck goes by. 750 00:46:16,213 --> 00:46:17,737 I have violent sex with strangers, 751 00:46:17,821 --> 00:46:20,767 I work and I work and I work some more 752 00:46:20,851 --> 00:46:23,059 because I'm afraid of having any time to myself 753 00:46:23,143 --> 00:46:25,655 because I'm afraid of what I will do with it. 754 00:46:28,382 --> 00:46:32,133 I've spent my whole life 755 00:46:32,217 --> 00:46:35,342 shaping myself to be the opposite of her, 756 00:46:36,276 --> 00:46:39,091 and it's not working anymore. 757 00:46:39,118 --> 00:46:41,275 None of it is fucking working. 758 00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:43,960 Joanie, your mother didn't kill herself. 759 00:46:44,044 --> 00:46:45,779 Isn't that what we figured out at the jetty? 760 00:46:45,863 --> 00:46:48,389 I don't know! She probably did. 761 00:46:49,582 --> 00:46:52,960 You can drown in a bathtub. 762 00:46:54,114 --> 00:46:56,987 And she wanted to die. Everybody said so. 763 00:46:57,071 --> 00:47:01,550 Maybe this is just some stupid childhood fantasy of mine 764 00:47:01,634 --> 00:47:03,243 because I don't want to believe 765 00:47:03,327 --> 00:47:05,873 that she actually just fucking left me! 766 00:47:05,958 --> 00:47:08,451 Joanie. Joanie, listen to me. 767 00:47:10,186 --> 00:47:11,388 This is grief. 768 00:47:11,780 --> 00:47:13,956 Yes, yes, it is. 769 00:47:16,245 --> 00:47:18,529 Your dad just died. 770 00:47:18,722 --> 00:47:21,708 Have you even... have you mourned for him? 771 00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:24,913 You need to do that. 772 00:47:25,629 --> 00:47:27,693 That's why you feel like you're going insane. 773 00:47:27,720 --> 00:47:29,321 You don't let yourself feel anything. 774 00:47:31,248 --> 00:47:32,571 I don't know how. 775 00:47:32,655 --> 00:47:34,230 - Of course you do. - No, I really don't. 776 00:47:34,314 --> 00:47:35,613 L-Let's talk about him. 777 00:47:35,868 --> 00:47:37,825 What was he like? What did you love about him? 778 00:47:40,133 --> 00:47:41,618 He was wonderful. 779 00:47:42,101 --> 00:47:43,332 How so? 780 00:47:45,447 --> 00:47:46,528 He could... 781 00:47:47,155 --> 00:47:48,695 he could do anything, you know? 782 00:47:48,779 --> 00:47:49,788 He... 783 00:47:51,265 --> 00:47:54,893 he could ride a horse, he could surf, he could fix a car. 784 00:47:55,805 --> 00:47:58,101 He picked up farming when we moved to Vermont, 785 00:47:58,185 --> 00:48:00,653 and he was, he was good at that, too. 786 00:48:02,429 --> 00:48:06,167 And-and he was so kind. 787 00:48:07,271 --> 00:48:08,322 He was... 788 00:48:09,338 --> 00:48:11,635 he was like a pain-seeking missile. 789 00:48:11,979 --> 00:48:13,505 Wherever we went, 790 00:48:13,589 --> 00:48:16,908 he'd find someone who was suffering and... 791 00:48:18,113 --> 00:48:20,635 he'd figure out how to make their lives 792 00:48:21,877 --> 00:48:23,613 just a little easier. 793 00:48:30,724 --> 00:48:33,794 I wanted him to meet someone else so badly. 794 00:48:36,608 --> 00:48:38,046 Someone who could... 795 00:48:40,667 --> 00:48:44,424 look after him so that I didn't have to. 796 00:48:47,934 --> 00:48:50,434 Hey, do you remember that box you gave me? 797 00:48:50,518 --> 00:48:52,779 The one with all your grandfather's letters in it? 798 00:48:52,863 --> 00:48:55,839 I mean, I didn't exactly give it to you, but... 799 00:48:56,714 --> 00:48:58,112 Did you ever look through it? 800 00:48:58,196 --> 00:49:00,440 Sort of, quickly. 801 00:49:01,437 --> 00:49:03,170 I found something you should maybe see. 802 00:49:27,305 --> 00:49:29,930 Why was your dad obsessing about a handsome Marine 803 00:49:29,957 --> 00:49:31,623 named Benjamin Cruz? 804 00:49:34,530 --> 00:49:36,838 So, here's my theory. Just hear me out. 805 00:49:36,922 --> 00:49:39,203 I interviewed your dad a few times. 806 00:49:39,562 --> 00:49:43,683 I liked him, but he was very, very closed. 807 00:49:43,767 --> 00:49:46,400 He just seemed like a man with a lot of secrets. 808 00:49:47,365 --> 00:49:49,032 Maybe he had a lover. 809 00:49:49,904 --> 00:49:51,446 Maybe that's why he never remarried. 810 00:49:51,530 --> 00:49:53,255 Maybe that's why he moved back to Montauk. 811 00:49:54,029 --> 00:49:55,648 Did you ever see Brokeback Mountain? 812 00:49:56,342 --> 00:50:00,446 I think maybe we're all just looking for our own Jack Twist. 813 00:50:00,530 --> 00:50:02,488 - Who? - Oh, Joanie. 814 00:50:02,953 --> 00:50:04,342 You're breaking my heart. 815 00:50:11,308 --> 00:50:13,554 I don't know who the hell Benjamin Cruz is. 816 00:50:16,151 --> 00:50:19,308 But... thank you. 817 00:50:20,532 --> 00:50:21,698 For what? 818 00:50:22,205 --> 00:50:23,675 You made me feel better. 819 00:50:25,713 --> 00:50:27,404 My pleasure. 820 00:50:28,234 --> 00:50:30,931 It's really late. I should go. 821 00:50:32,451 --> 00:50:33,687 Okay. 822 00:50:57,834 --> 00:50:59,113 What are you doing? 823 00:51:01,566 --> 00:51:02,935 Don't you want this? 824 00:51:04,191 --> 00:51:06,355 You gonna throw me out when it's over? 825 00:51:08,110 --> 00:51:09,597 This is your apartment. 826 00:51:11,134 --> 00:51:12,883 Good point. 827 00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:50,945 I have been in pain... 828 00:51:51,029 --> 00:51:52,971 Come here, kiddo. 829 00:51:53,655 --> 00:51:55,029 Hi, Daddy. 830 00:51:55,284 --> 00:51:57,315 - Come here. - ...my entire life. 831 00:51:59,863 --> 00:52:02,545 - Hey. - Look at you. You look great. 832 00:52:02,572 --> 00:52:04,779 And maybe that's what makes people think that I' weak 833 00:52:04,863 --> 00:52:07,542 We made some cookies this morning... 834 00:52:07,569 --> 00:52:08,846 -And maybe that makes people 835 00:52:08,904 --> 00:52:11,221 treat me like some sort of receptacle... 836 00:52:11,248 --> 00:52:12,820 Not gonna see you all weekend. 837 00:52:12,904 --> 00:52:14,695 - Bye, Mama. - Bye, baby. 838 00:52:14,779 --> 00:52:16,280 ...for all their grief 839 00:52:18,530 --> 00:52:19,873 and rage... 840 00:52:19,952 --> 00:52:21,537 Hey. Hey. 841 00:52:26,280 --> 00:52:27,746 ...and disappointment. 842 00:52:27,773 --> 00:52:29,305 Don't I know you? 843 00:52:30,855 --> 00:52:32,048 I don't think so. 844 00:52:32,761 --> 00:52:33,941 Cole? 845 00:52:35,143 --> 00:52:37,159 This is my friend Ben. 846 00:52:38,957 --> 00:52:40,904 Nice to meet you, Cole. 847 00:52:44,182 --> 00:52:46,564 But I am fucking sick of it. 848 00:53:00,325 --> 00:53:02,800 _ 849 00:53:02,827 --> 00:53:03,928 Everything okay? 850 00:53:04,551 --> 00:53:06,856 _ 851 00:53:15,209 --> 00:53:16,950 He wasn't my dad's boyfriend. 852 00:53:17,850 --> 00:53:19,288 He was my mother's. 853 00:53:22,579 --> 00:53:23,986 I think he killed her. 854 00:53:25,155 --> 00:53:33,155 Sync and corrections by btsix www.addic7ed.com