1 00:00:01,002 --> 00:00:04,816 It seems today that all you see 2 00:00:04,817 --> 00:00:08,174 Is violence in movies and sex on TV 3 00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:11,744 But where are those good old-fashioned values 4 00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:14,747 On which we used to rely? 5 00:00:14,748 --> 00:00:18,250 Lucky there's a family guy 6 00:00:18,251 --> 00:00:21,420 Lucky there's a man who positively can do 7 00:00:21,421 --> 00:00:23,191 All the things that make us 8 00:00:23,192 --> 00:00:24,423 Laugh and cry 9 00:00:24,424 --> 00:00:30,151 He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy. 10 00:00:30,152 --> 00:00:33,572 - Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT - www.addic7ed.com 11 00:00:37,573 --> 00:00:39,229 So what's the big emergency? 12 00:00:39,230 --> 00:00:41,255 Why did everyone have to come in on a Monday? 13 00:00:41,256 --> 00:00:43,745 I'm afraid we have troubling news. 14 00:00:43,746 --> 00:00:46,814 Due to budget cuts, we'll be laying off one employee. 15 00:00:49,151 --> 00:00:51,519 The Internet pretty much only lets us fire white males, 16 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:54,989 so if you're not a white male, you're safe. 17 00:00:54,990 --> 00:00:56,858 - So, is Derek Jeter safe? - Safe! 18 00:00:56,859 --> 00:00:58,526 - What? - He's half black. 19 00:00:58,527 --> 00:00:59,927 - What? What do you need, glasses? - No, I don't need glasses. 20 00:00:59,928 --> 00:01:01,341 He's white by a mile. He tucks... 21 00:01:01,343 --> 00:01:03,031 You're the one who needs glasses. 22 00:01:03,032 --> 00:01:04,832 And what happened to this kind of coach-umpire confrontation? 23 00:01:04,833 --> 00:01:06,701 - I know, I miss it, too. - It used to happen a lot in the '70s 24 00:01:06,702 --> 00:01:08,770 but doesn't seem to happen that much anymore. 25 00:01:08,771 --> 00:01:11,368 to a bygone era when men settled their differences 26 00:01:11,369 --> 00:01:12,940 I agree. That's what we're doing now. 27 00:01:12,941 --> 00:01:14,477 Thrusting their chests into one another. 28 00:01:14,478 --> 00:01:16,433 I miss having a guy yell in my mouth. 29 00:01:16,434 --> 00:01:18,489 And while we're talking about stuff, I've never cleaned my ice trays. 30 00:01:18,490 --> 00:01:20,228 - Oh, you have to do that. - Why do I have to? 31 00:01:20,229 --> 00:01:22,129 - You're poisoning your family. - It's just water and water. 32 00:01:22,130 --> 00:01:25,153 Carrying an ice tray from the freezer to the sink is like ringing 33 00:01:25,154 --> 00:01:27,214 - the damn dinner bell for arm hairs. - Come to think of it, 34 00:01:27,215 --> 00:01:29,149 but I don't remember seeing a few short hairs in my ice cubes 35 00:01:29,150 --> 00:01:30,754 Of course they're getting in there. 36 00:01:30,755 --> 00:01:33,227 - That I'm hoping were from my arm. - Clean your trays. 37 00:01:33,228 --> 00:01:35,963 Oh, cool off, Griffin. It is no big deal. 38 00:01:35,964 --> 00:01:37,532 It's just that someone's getting fired 39 00:01:37,533 --> 00:01:40,234 - in front of everybody tomorrow. - Well, that sounds fine. 40 00:01:40,235 --> 00:01:42,537 I guess I'll just see you... What?! 41 00:01:42,538 --> 00:01:44,072 Old joke. You're out. 42 00:01:44,073 --> 00:01:46,741 - Old joke? I put my own twist on it. - There was no twist. 43 00:01:46,742 --> 00:01:49,377 Oh, you're crazy. It was a tip of the hat to my son. 44 00:01:49,378 --> 00:01:51,779 If anything, it's a gift to our long-time viewers. 45 00:01:51,780 --> 00:01:53,748 Merry Christmas. Here's a warmed-over turd 46 00:01:53,749 --> 00:01:55,822 from ten years ago. 47 00:01:58,821 --> 00:02:00,885 Okay, I can do this. 48 00:02:00,886 --> 00:02:03,691 No need to be nervous. Just show 'em that I'm good at my job. 49 00:02:03,692 --> 00:02:05,359 That's it. Easy peasy. 50 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:07,361 Hey there, PG. 51 00:02:07,362 --> 00:02:08,730 Been a minute. 52 00:02:08,731 --> 00:02:11,199 Hey, Ernie. I mean, I mean Cookie Monst... I mean Bert. 53 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:12,233 Bert. Sorry. 54 00:02:12,234 --> 00:02:13,735 Oh, it's okay, Peter. 55 00:02:13,736 --> 00:02:15,236 Just do what you would normally do. 56 00:02:15,237 --> 00:02:16,871 Pretend I'm not here. 57 00:02:16,872 --> 00:02:18,573 Oh, pretend you're not here? All right. 58 00:02:18,574 --> 00:02:21,041 God, that Bert is an idiot. 59 00:02:21,042 --> 00:02:22,522 What a pud. 60 00:02:22,523 --> 00:02:23,711 But I wouldn't mind getting to know that Sheila 61 00:02:23,712 --> 00:02:24,879 a little better. 62 00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:26,447 She's got a great dumper. 63 00:02:26,448 --> 00:02:28,950 And by dumper, I mean fecal thoroughfare. 64 00:02:28,951 --> 00:02:30,785 Should I...? 65 00:02:30,786 --> 00:02:32,120 Yeah, answer it. 66 00:02:32,121 --> 00:02:35,156 Could be important for the company. 67 00:02:37,493 --> 00:02:38,960 Goodbye? 68 00:02:38,961 --> 00:02:40,962 Ah, shoot. Opposite of that, yeah? 69 00:02:40,963 --> 00:02:42,663 Let's roll to the break room, Peter. 70 00:02:42,664 --> 00:02:44,665 We're ready to announce who's getting fired. 71 00:02:44,666 --> 00:02:46,968 Oh, sure, if Sheila and her wastemaker are gonna be there. 72 00:02:46,969 --> 00:02:50,122 Please stop talking about my wife's anal processes. 73 00:02:57,646 --> 00:03:01,415 Opie, will you accept this stein? 74 00:03:07,923 --> 00:03:10,258 Bachelor Nick? Why are you here? 75 00:03:10,259 --> 00:03:12,426 They make me come to all these things. 76 00:03:12,427 --> 00:03:14,170 Cool. How's Vanessa? 77 00:03:14,171 --> 00:03:15,963 - We broke up. - Aw. 78 00:03:15,964 --> 00:03:18,800 I would murder my family for one hour with Corinne. 79 00:03:18,801 --> 00:03:21,075 Eh, she was a little young. 80 00:03:22,171 --> 00:03:24,105 You know how stupid you sound? 81 00:03:24,106 --> 00:03:26,816 Peter, take a step forward. 82 00:03:27,943 --> 00:03:30,378 I-I'm sorry. I-I keep messing up. 83 00:03:30,379 --> 00:03:33,792 You're seeing me at my worst. I'm very nervous. 84 00:03:40,422 --> 00:03:42,423 My life is flashing before my eyes. 85 00:03:42,424 --> 00:03:46,160 And for some reason, it's all just the sort of gay moments. 86 00:04:01,042 --> 00:04:02,958 Excuse me, is someone sitting here? 87 00:04:02,959 --> 00:04:04,879 Yes. My lover, Tom. 88 00:04:06,315 --> 00:04:09,550 Oh, Peter! I'm so happy you're okay. 89 00:04:09,551 --> 00:04:11,839 Whoa, you're alive? 90 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:14,021 What happened? Did I have a heart attack? 91 00:04:14,022 --> 00:04:15,656 No, you had a panic attack. 92 00:04:15,657 --> 00:04:18,426 Or, in medical terms, "a heart attack for wussies." 93 00:04:18,427 --> 00:04:19,727 Hey, we have a bet going. 94 00:04:19,728 --> 00:04:21,729 Do you remember if you put your wrist to your forehead 95 00:04:21,730 --> 00:04:23,564 like a nancy-boy when you fainted? 96 00:04:23,565 --> 00:04:25,466 I choose not to answer. 97 00:04:25,467 --> 00:04:28,002 Peter, you need to get your stress under control. 98 00:04:28,003 --> 00:04:30,071 I'm texting you a link to a collection of songs 99 00:04:30,072 --> 00:04:31,505 called yacht rock. 100 00:04:31,506 --> 00:04:32,740 Any time I'm feeling stressed, 101 00:04:32,741 --> 00:04:35,109 I play this music, and it really mellows me out. 102 00:04:35,110 --> 00:04:37,612 - I think it'll work for you. - Well, what is that? Is that like... 103 00:04:37,613 --> 00:04:40,047 Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. 104 00:04:40,048 --> 00:04:41,315 No, no, it's more like... 105 00:04:41,316 --> 00:04:42,650 Ia, da, da, da, da 106 00:04:42,651 --> 00:04:43,951 Da, da, da, da, da. 107 00:04:43,952 --> 00:04:46,687 Oh, good. It's... Ia, da, da, da, da 108 00:04:46,688 --> 00:04:48,522 Da, da, da, da. 'Cause I don't like that. 109 00:04:48,523 --> 00:04:50,458 Da, da, da, ba, ba, ba. 110 00:04:50,459 --> 00:04:52,793 No, I assure you, it's... Ia, da, da, da 111 00:04:52,794 --> 00:04:54,395 Da, da, da, da, da, da, da. 112 00:04:54,396 --> 00:04:55,830 Now, if you'll excuse me, 113 00:04:55,831 --> 00:04:58,966 I have more music to prescribe to sick patients. 114 00:05:02,504 --> 00:05:04,939 - So, Peter, you feeling better? - Yeah, I guess. 115 00:05:04,940 --> 00:05:07,408 The doctor just said I'm too stressed out. 116 00:05:07,409 --> 00:05:09,777 Did the doctor give you anything to help, you know, 117 00:05:09,778 --> 00:05:11,379 mellow you out? 118 00:05:11,380 --> 00:05:13,648 żLos drogas? 119 00:05:13,649 --> 00:05:16,884 No, he just gave me this link for something called yacht rock. 120 00:05:18,854 --> 00:05:20,788 This one's called "Summer Breeze," 121 00:05:20,789 --> 00:05:23,958 and it makes me feel fine. 122 00:05:23,959 --> 00:05:26,093 This music... I... 123 00:05:26,094 --> 00:05:28,829 I feel like I'm dirty dancing with a sunset. 124 00:05:32,134 --> 00:05:34,302 Uh, guys, there's a yacht rock cruise 125 00:05:34,303 --> 00:05:37,171 that leaves from the Quahog Marina tomorrow. 126 00:05:37,172 --> 00:05:39,707 And I'm not even kidding. 127 00:05:39,708 --> 00:05:42,343 You know what, guys? We haven't gone anywhere in a long time. 128 00:05:42,344 --> 00:05:43,811 So, let's do it. 129 00:05:43,812 --> 00:05:45,413 Cleveland, buy those tickets, 130 00:05:45,414 --> 00:05:47,648 'cause the guys are going on a yacht rock cruise. 131 00:05:47,649 --> 00:05:49,150 - Yeah! - Awesome! 132 00:05:49,151 --> 00:05:51,406 Peter? Is that you? 133 00:05:51,407 --> 00:05:53,487 - Do I know you? - I-It's me. Lyle? 134 00:05:53,488 --> 00:05:55,189 From the other side of the aquarium? 135 00:05:55,190 --> 00:05:57,024 I-I... I don't... I don't know you. 136 00:05:57,025 --> 00:05:59,360 I-I don't... I don't know what you're talking about. 137 00:05:59,361 --> 00:06:01,662 But I did know what he was talking about. 138 00:06:01,663 --> 00:06:03,831 I spent the next two and a half years 139 00:06:03,832 --> 00:06:06,154 cruising various aquariums. 140 00:06:06,155 --> 00:06:07,969 I never did find Lyle. 141 00:06:07,970 --> 00:06:11,172 Also, I didn't quite clear the table. 142 00:06:22,965 --> 00:06:25,833 I got to say, Peter, I had reservations about this cruise, 143 00:06:25,834 --> 00:06:27,668 but you do seem more relaxed. 144 00:06:27,669 --> 00:06:29,236 Hey, good thing I had reservations 145 00:06:29,237 --> 00:06:30,938 on this cruise, huh? 146 00:06:30,939 --> 00:06:33,190 I don't mind dad jokes. 147 00:06:33,191 --> 00:06:34,731 Everyone's included. 148 00:06:37,112 --> 00:06:38,646 Looks like mine won't be the only tail 149 00:06:38,647 --> 00:06:40,381 I'll be chasing this week. 150 00:06:40,382 --> 00:06:43,751 - Hey. What the... - All dogs have to be crated below deck. 151 00:06:45,921 --> 00:06:47,488 Stewie, help! 152 00:06:47,489 --> 00:06:49,190 I knew this was a possibility, so I put 153 00:06:49,191 --> 00:06:53,027 a 1982 Mattel Electronic Baseball game in your bag. 154 00:06:54,596 --> 00:06:56,097 Okay, that's something. 155 00:06:56,098 --> 00:06:58,099 The battery might be a little old, though. 156 00:07:07,342 --> 00:07:08,843 Peter, you brought your family? 157 00:07:08,844 --> 00:07:11,145 This was supposed to be a guys' trip. 158 00:07:11,146 --> 00:07:12,672 Please don't tell Donna. - Please don't tell Bonnie. 159 00:07:12,673 --> 00:07:14,682 - She hasn't been on a vacation... - She'll kill me if... 160 00:07:14,683 --> 00:07:16,050 - Please, Lois, please. - Please, Lois. 161 00:07:16,051 --> 00:07:17,485 - Promise me. Here, look, - Promise me first. 162 00:07:17,486 --> 00:07:19,020 - I'm putting money - Here's my gun. Do you want it? 163 00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:20,921 - In your purse. - I-I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. 164 00:07:20,922 --> 00:07:23,057 I'm sending a selfie to Bonnie and Donna. 165 00:07:23,058 --> 00:07:24,892 Cruise, bitches. 166 00:07:24,893 --> 00:07:27,228 - Don't hit send, please don't hit send. - Please don't hit send. 167 00:07:27,229 --> 00:07:29,296 And... send. 168 00:07:30,766 --> 00:07:33,901 You son of a bitch. 169 00:07:33,902 --> 00:07:35,903 - I told you. - What did he do now? 170 00:07:35,904 --> 00:07:37,571 He don't listen to you. 171 00:07:37,572 --> 00:07:40,541 He don't listen to you. 172 00:07:42,277 --> 00:07:43,611 What is it, Bonnie? 173 00:07:43,612 --> 00:07:46,280 Nothing, Father Monaghan. 174 00:07:46,281 --> 00:07:48,582 - Well, this sucks now. - Our whole trip's ruined, 175 00:07:48,583 --> 00:07:50,084 thanks to you, Peter. 176 00:07:50,085 --> 00:07:52,219 Thank God Bonnie's got Father Monaghan 177 00:07:52,220 --> 00:07:54,255 for spiritual counsel. 178 00:07:54,256 --> 00:07:55,690 Well, it's not my fault you guys are too stupid 179 00:07:55,691 --> 00:07:57,124 to understand what the plan was. 180 00:07:57,125 --> 00:07:59,671 The plan was clear. You're the stupid one. 181 00:07:59,672 --> 00:08:03,197 What? 182 00:08:03,198 --> 00:08:06,667 Sailing takes me away... 183 00:08:06,668 --> 00:08:09,303 - What were we fighting about? - I don't know. 184 00:08:09,304 --> 00:08:12,273 My cares have all suddenly melted away. 185 00:08:12,274 --> 00:08:15,376 Are my toes tapping? I feel like my toes are tapping. 186 00:08:15,377 --> 00:08:17,645 Nah, there's a seagull pecking at your foot. 187 00:08:18,980 --> 00:08:20,514 Whenever I wear my Tevas, 188 00:08:20,515 --> 00:08:23,295 my toes are up for grabs. 189 00:08:25,020 --> 00:08:27,054 Hey, Cleveland, this is us. 190 00:08:27,055 --> 00:08:28,656 You guys got to stop by later. 191 00:08:28,657 --> 00:08:31,392 Snuck on a little of this action. 192 00:08:31,393 --> 00:08:33,609 What? You guys are sharing a room? 193 00:08:33,610 --> 00:08:36,430 - You're adults. - I'm not paying full price for a room. 194 00:08:36,431 --> 00:08:38,566 Have some self-respect. You're 40. 195 00:08:38,567 --> 00:08:40,568 It's not like we're gonna be in there much. 196 00:08:40,569 --> 00:08:42,744 Too busy scoping trim. 197 00:08:42,745 --> 00:08:45,703 I may bail to the room to catch a nap. 198 00:08:45,704 --> 00:08:47,771 Right behind you, roomie. 199 00:08:47,772 --> 00:08:50,845 After we wake, we gonna fire up that Keurig. 200 00:08:50,846 --> 00:08:54,482 Oh, yeah, that's why I brought along a couple of these babies. 201 00:08:55,650 --> 00:08:58,252 Wait, there's only one bed. 202 00:08:58,253 --> 00:09:00,354 I know. We're going head to toe. 203 00:09:00,355 --> 00:09:02,757 Say hello to your pillow. 204 00:09:02,758 --> 00:09:05,426 Hi there, do you know if singer and songwriter Bob Welch 205 00:09:05,427 --> 00:09:06,761 is on board yet? 206 00:09:06,762 --> 00:09:09,930 He's not, because he died in 2012. 207 00:09:11,833 --> 00:09:13,781 Can you give me a moment? 208 00:09:14,336 --> 00:09:17,171 Sentimental gentle wind 209 00:09:17,172 --> 00:09:20,341 Blowing through my life again... 210 00:09:20,342 --> 00:09:23,844 I can't believe Bob Welch is really gone. 211 00:09:23,845 --> 00:09:25,813 Gentle one... 212 00:09:25,814 --> 00:09:29,850 Hey... we just heard about Bob Welch. 213 00:09:29,851 --> 00:09:31,852 Blowing through my life again... 214 00:09:31,853 --> 00:09:33,521 Yeah. 215 00:09:33,522 --> 00:09:35,756 Who the (BLEEP) is Bob Welch? 216 00:09:45,041 --> 00:09:47,268 Okay, for the first game, I choose Alan Parsons 217 00:09:47,269 --> 00:09:49,603 as my teammate, but not The Project. 218 00:09:49,604 --> 00:09:51,272 I want nothing to do with them. 219 00:09:51,273 --> 00:09:53,007 We'll play Joe and Loggins. 220 00:09:53,008 --> 00:09:55,276 - Thanks for picking me, Peter. - No problem. 221 00:09:55,277 --> 00:09:57,611 "Crosby, Stills, Nash" to see who goes first? 222 00:09:57,612 --> 00:09:59,814 Crosby, Stills, Nash, shoot. 223 00:09:59,815 --> 00:10:02,883 - Nash. I win. - No, Crosby eats Nash. 224 00:10:02,884 --> 00:10:05,853 - Stills snorts Crosby. - What does Nash do? 225 00:10:05,854 --> 00:10:07,855 Nash smokes Stills. 226 00:10:07,856 --> 00:10:10,706 So, Kenny, "Footloose." 227 00:10:10,707 --> 00:10:12,893 Not really a song for everyone. 228 00:10:12,894 --> 00:10:16,599 Well, maybe you'd prefer my song in Caddyshack, "I'm Alright." 229 00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:20,127 Wh-What, do you think I'm stupid because I'm in a chair? 230 00:10:20,128 --> 00:10:21,762 I'll pull the tape, guy. 231 00:10:21,763 --> 00:10:24,238 The gopher sang that song. 232 00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:31,378 This is so exciting. What do you want to do tonight? 233 00:10:31,379 --> 00:10:33,814 What if we just go see a movie? 234 00:10:33,815 --> 00:10:36,250 We can see a movie at home. We need to go out. 235 00:10:36,251 --> 00:10:37,651 Shake things up. 236 00:10:37,652 --> 00:10:40,054 We're here to experience new things, be other people. 237 00:10:40,055 --> 00:10:42,256 Mm-hmm. 238 00:10:42,257 --> 00:10:44,258 How much wine have you had tonight? 239 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:47,761 Maybe we could hang out with that nice couple 240 00:10:47,762 --> 00:10:50,030 - we met the other day. - The Federmans? 241 00:10:50,031 --> 00:10:52,266 Why do you always want to hang out with other people 242 00:10:52,267 --> 00:10:53,934 when we're on vacation? 243 00:10:53,935 --> 00:10:55,669 It's just nice to meet new people. 244 00:10:55,670 --> 00:10:59,406 Right, because I'm so interested in the medical supply business. 245 00:10:59,407 --> 00:11:01,442 - Why do you always do that? - Do what? 246 00:11:01,443 --> 00:11:03,444 Diminish people. 247 00:11:03,445 --> 00:11:04,879 Oh, that's why. 248 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:07,982 Well, I feel like this has become a referendum on me, 249 00:11:07,983 --> 00:11:11,002 and I don't appreciate it. 250 00:11:12,087 --> 00:11:14,221 Did you pack my dandruff shampoo? 251 00:11:14,222 --> 00:11:15,689 No. 252 00:11:15,690 --> 00:11:18,425 Then I guess this black shirt is out. 253 00:11:18,426 --> 00:11:20,794 You just want to hang out with Doug Federman. 254 00:11:20,795 --> 00:11:23,397 What? That's... that's the wine talking. 255 00:11:23,398 --> 00:11:25,599 What does Doug Federman have that I don't? 256 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:27,268 A job. 257 00:11:27,269 --> 00:11:30,437 I'm going to watch the magic show in the Cognac Club. 258 00:11:30,438 --> 00:11:32,172 Why, because there's a two-drink minimum? 259 00:11:32,173 --> 00:11:34,975 Oh, you shut up! 260 00:11:34,976 --> 00:11:36,310 Thank you. 261 00:11:36,311 --> 00:11:38,779 For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer. 262 00:11:38,780 --> 00:11:41,148 - How about you, sir? - No, I don't want to! 263 00:11:41,149 --> 00:11:43,659 I don't want to do it. 264 00:11:46,521 --> 00:11:49,356 Bell, Biv, DeVoe, shoot. 265 00:11:49,357 --> 00:11:51,392 - Gotcha. - What do you mean? 266 00:11:51,393 --> 00:11:53,627 I win. Bell bivs DeVoe. 267 00:11:53,628 --> 00:11:56,230 Dude, you can't "biv" someone. Biv's a guy. 268 00:11:56,231 --> 00:11:59,600 Everybody on this cruise is boring. 269 00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:05,639 I can show you where there's a whole pile of those. 270 00:12:06,853 --> 00:12:08,025 Cigarette butts? 271 00:12:08,026 --> 00:12:10,477 Yeah. The wind blows them all to this one spot. 272 00:12:10,478 --> 00:12:12,346 It's right by where the seagulls crap. 273 00:12:12,347 --> 00:12:15,516 It's my job to clean it up. That's how I know about it. 274 00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:18,018 You must know a lot about crap. 275 00:12:18,019 --> 00:12:19,687 You're not from here, are you? 276 00:12:19,688 --> 00:12:22,089 From the cruise? No. I'm from a town. 277 00:12:22,090 --> 00:12:24,024 You want to mess around on some damp towels 278 00:12:24,025 --> 00:12:25,426 next to where the seagulls crap? 279 00:12:25,427 --> 00:12:26,860 It wasn't seagulls. 280 00:12:26,861 --> 00:12:28,696 I got locked out of my room earlier. 281 00:12:28,697 --> 00:12:30,030 Oh. 282 00:12:30,031 --> 00:12:32,433 - Why is your poop white? - I don't know. 283 00:12:32,434 --> 00:12:35,936 I've been dealing with fecal albinism my whole life. 284 00:12:35,937 --> 00:12:38,973 All I want to do in the middle of the evening 285 00:12:38,974 --> 00:12:41,375 Is hold you tight 286 00:12:41,376 --> 00:12:45,045 Rosanna, Rosanna 287 00:12:45,046 --> 00:12:47,448 I didn't know you were looking for more than 288 00:12:47,449 --> 00:12:49,216 I could ever be... 289 00:12:49,217 --> 00:12:50,651 Hey, what are you guys up to? 290 00:12:50,652 --> 00:12:53,554 We're making a food spread in room 103. 291 00:12:53,555 --> 00:12:54,655 Come on by. 292 00:12:54,656 --> 00:12:57,124 Grab some cocktail sauce on your way. 293 00:12:57,125 --> 00:13:00,294 Oh, wait. Never mind. 294 00:13:00,295 --> 00:13:01,962 Aah! Damn it. 295 00:13:01,963 --> 00:13:05,632 We're watching Michael Clayton on DVD later. Be there. 296 00:13:08,937 --> 00:13:12,473 By the way, I, uh, heard about Bob Welch. 297 00:13:12,474 --> 00:13:14,208 I'm sorry. 298 00:13:14,209 --> 00:13:16,610 Don't know what else to say. 299 00:13:16,611 --> 00:13:19,513 - Sending good vibes. - Yeah... 300 00:13:19,514 --> 00:13:21,115 Can you give me a moment? 301 00:13:21,116 --> 00:13:24,151 Sentimental gentle wind 302 00:13:24,152 --> 00:13:27,421 Blowing through my life again 303 00:13:27,422 --> 00:13:29,256 Sentimental Lady... 304 00:13:29,257 --> 00:13:31,892 - Bob Welch? - Bob Welch. 305 00:13:31,893 --> 00:13:34,128 - Hey, aren't you the captain? - Yes. 306 00:13:34,129 --> 00:13:37,106 Well, if you're here, who's driving the boat? 307 00:13:38,033 --> 00:13:40,167 Oh, my God! 308 00:13:44,418 --> 00:13:47,274 Wow, I've never seen someone eat so many powdered Donettes 309 00:13:47,275 --> 00:13:48,609 in half an hour before. 310 00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:49,843 Yeah, I was really hungry, 311 00:13:49,844 --> 00:13:51,712 and I didn't like what they had at dinner. 312 00:13:51,713 --> 00:13:55,064 I think we may have solved your fecal albinism. 313 00:13:55,065 --> 00:13:56,817 I love you, Meg. 314 00:13:56,818 --> 00:13:58,819 Oh, my God, 315 00:13:58,820 --> 00:14:01,021 no one's ever told me that before. 316 00:14:01,022 --> 00:14:03,190 This is the best night of my li... 317 00:14:28,683 --> 00:14:31,185 Listen to all those idiots fall. 318 00:14:31,186 --> 00:14:33,821 - Honey, don't revel in it. - Hey, I need this. 319 00:14:33,822 --> 00:14:35,989 I just found out Bob Welch died. 320 00:14:35,990 --> 00:14:38,592 Sentimental gentle wind 321 00:14:38,593 --> 00:14:40,194 Blowing... 322 00:14:40,195 --> 00:14:42,763 - Aah! What are we gonna do? - I don't know. 323 00:14:42,764 --> 00:14:46,300 And, look, Oates is hanging on to Hall for dear life. 324 00:14:47,902 --> 00:14:50,504 What else is new? He's been doing that for 40 years. 325 00:14:50,505 --> 00:14:53,674 Ha, ha. Yeah, make fun of more people 326 00:14:53,675 --> 00:14:55,776 more successful than you. 327 00:14:55,777 --> 00:14:57,344 He's a millionaire. 328 00:14:57,345 --> 00:14:59,379 You're nothing. 329 00:15:15,654 --> 00:15:17,889 Oh, thank God we're all okay. 330 00:15:17,890 --> 00:15:19,991 Looks like Oates wasn't so lucky. 331 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:30,668 Guys, it's me, Kenny Loggins. 332 00:15:30,669 --> 00:15:32,169 First of all, I'm all right. 333 00:15:32,170 --> 00:15:33,571 Don't nobody worry about me. 334 00:15:33,572 --> 00:15:35,006 Gopher! 335 00:15:35,007 --> 00:15:37,775 This boat has flipped over. We need to get up to the hull. 336 00:15:37,776 --> 00:15:39,243 There's a spot in the propeller room 337 00:15:39,244 --> 00:15:41,078 where the hull's only an inch thick. 338 00:15:41,079 --> 00:15:43,047 Maybe we can try to cut our way out... 339 00:15:47,452 --> 00:15:50,454 Hey, you sons of bitches! 340 00:15:51,790 --> 00:15:53,090 This is Chad! 341 00:15:53,091 --> 00:15:55,426 He's my boyfriend. We love each other. 342 00:15:55,427 --> 00:15:58,162 We said it and everything. 343 00:16:02,334 --> 00:16:03,792 A little help? 344 00:16:41,540 --> 00:16:42,707 Hi-yah! 345 00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,824 Preesh. 346 00:17:14,673 --> 00:17:16,841 Guys, we got to get out of here. 347 00:17:33,658 --> 00:17:35,960 - You're alive. - And well. 348 00:17:35,961 --> 00:17:38,629 We got to get out of here. The water levels are rising fast. 349 00:17:38,630 --> 00:17:40,431 I'll just grab an apple real quick. 350 00:17:40,432 --> 00:17:43,200 Granny Smith? What, do you got a oven in your mouth? 351 00:17:43,201 --> 00:17:46,670 - Huh? - Pie apple. It's a pie apple. 352 00:17:46,671 --> 00:17:48,539 I like a good Red Delicious. 353 00:17:48,540 --> 00:17:50,408 Oh, does your mouth have a lid on it? 354 00:17:50,409 --> 00:17:51,776 What are you talking about? 355 00:17:51,777 --> 00:17:54,712 That's a garbage apple. May as well eat a Honeycrisp. 356 00:17:54,713 --> 00:17:57,314 - What's wrong with that one? - Science apple. 357 00:17:57,315 --> 00:18:00,117 Made in a lab with test tubes and beakers. 358 00:18:00,118 --> 00:18:02,553 Well, what apples do you like? 359 00:18:02,554 --> 00:18:04,955 Fuji for eating, crab for huckin'. 360 00:18:04,956 --> 00:18:06,791 That's a prankster's apple. 361 00:18:06,792 --> 00:18:09,527 Gosh, Cleveland, I had no idea you knew so much about apples. 362 00:18:09,528 --> 00:18:12,663 - Hmm. Did you ever ask? - No, I guess I didn't. 363 00:18:12,664 --> 00:18:14,165 Hmm. 364 00:18:22,774 --> 00:18:26,077 I can't open it! 365 00:18:26,078 --> 00:18:28,546 There's too much water pushing from the other side! 366 00:18:28,547 --> 00:18:30,014 So we're stuck? 367 00:18:30,015 --> 00:18:32,583 Yeah, unless we can somehow tip the boat. 368 00:18:32,584 --> 00:18:34,585 Maybe we can. 369 00:18:34,586 --> 00:18:36,487 What are you talking about, Michael McDonald? 370 00:18:36,488 --> 00:18:38,222 The timbre in my voice 371 00:18:38,223 --> 00:18:40,491 Allows me to communicate with whales. 372 00:18:40,492 --> 00:18:42,460 Maybe they can help. 373 00:19:26,638 --> 00:19:28,472 Oh, we... oh, we found him. 374 00:19:28,473 --> 00:19:31,075 (BLEEP)! You guys left me down there to drown. 375 00:19:31,076 --> 00:19:33,511 Technically, we left you up there to drown. 376 00:19:33,512 --> 00:19:36,180 - The boat flipped. - You know what you did. 377 00:19:36,181 --> 00:19:38,249 I think the only way to teach you a lesson 378 00:19:38,250 --> 00:19:40,551 is to dog-shake and get you all wet. 379 00:19:40,552 --> 00:19:41,986 - No, Brian, don't! - I'm doing it. 380 00:19:44,656 --> 00:19:45,923 All right, we're even. 381 00:19:48,944 --> 00:19:50,628 Well, we found the thinnest part of the hull, 382 00:19:50,629 --> 00:19:52,363 but it's still an inch thick. 383 00:19:52,364 --> 00:19:56,000 Yeah, of steel. How are we supposed to get through that? 384 00:20:11,789 --> 00:20:14,791 Man, that was crazy. 385 00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:18,135 I'm Casey Kasem. 386 00:20:18,136 --> 00:20:20,050 Coming in at number seven on the countdown, 387 00:20:20,051 --> 00:20:22,720 that was Peter Griffin with "Yacht Rocky," 388 00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:24,310 down three spots. 389 00:20:24,311 --> 00:20:25,823 Now for our number six. 390 00:20:25,824 --> 00:20:27,425 Number six. 391 00:20:27,426 --> 00:20:30,526 We'll start with a letter from Melanie in Kansas. 392 00:20:30,527 --> 00:20:32,767 She writes, "Dear Casey, 393 00:20:32,768 --> 00:20:35,599 "is Christopher Cross as nice as he seems? 394 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,859 "Also, aren't you dead? 395 00:20:37,860 --> 00:20:39,403 "And why did your large wife 396 00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:41,814 "hide your body from your children?" 397 00:20:41,815 --> 00:20:45,276 Well, the answer to your first question is a resounding yes. 398 00:20:45,277 --> 00:20:48,086 Christopher Cross is a perfect gentleman. 399 00:20:48,087 --> 00:20:49,793 And as for the second question, 400 00:20:49,794 --> 00:20:51,059 you're correct, Melanie. 401 00:20:51,060 --> 00:20:52,465 I'm extremely dead, 402 00:20:52,466 --> 00:20:55,204 and I do wish my children could have closure. 403 00:20:55,205 --> 00:20:57,650 Honey, if you're listening, please, 404 00:20:57,651 --> 00:21:00,107 just put my body in the ground. 405 00:21:00,108 --> 00:21:02,472 And now back to the countdown.