- Cass! - You want me to look after Hump
till he dances, and then the whole bleedin' world blows up.
So what?
The old plan was for total annihilation,
the new plan is limited.
What do you want?
I want a fight.
Time to release Genesis.
- He's all yours. - Shoot him.
He's not here for me.
_
? I've been caught by this feeling ?
? It's calling me into the void ?
? Nothing to believe in ?
? And nothing to call my own ?
? I've been caught by this feeling ?
? I've been caught, I've been caught ?
? Are we caught, are we caught? ?
? I've been caught, I've been caught ?
? I've been caught by this feeling ?
? It's calling me into the void ?
? Nothing to believe in ?
? Nothing to call my own ?
? I've been caught by this feeling ?
? I've been caught, I've been caught ?
- ? Are we caught, are we caught? ? - _
? I've been caught, I've been caught ?
Come on, man, it's gonna be fun.
- Little dancing, little music. - ? I've been caught by this feeling ?
Besides, you look good. You look like a dead ringer
for Gene Kelly...
if he'd been struck by lightning.
Gene Kelly.
I could tell you stories about Gene Kelly.
Ah!
Another time.
Don't want to miss the show.
Christ. What...
What is this?
Why all the bells and bagpipes?
Why not just blow it up and end the world yourself?
That's cheating.
You all have to play your part.
"Free will".
That's the fun.
? I've been caught by this feeling ?
- And he likes to watch. - ? It's calling me into the void ?
Heroin Gandalf arsehole.
? Nothing to believe in ?
? Nothing to call my own ?
- Who's ready for their Messiah?! - ? I've been caught by this feeling ?
? I've been caught, I've been caught ?
He's on his way! But first...
- Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com -
Aah!
Go on. But I'm tellin' you,
the parents will not be happy.
Looks like someone brought a gun to a knife fight.
Knoxville, Tennessee.
Waitressing, substitute teaching.
Whatever. I...
My real job was rum and Cokes and making bad choices.
Sleeping with cops,
dealing weed to eighth graders.
I was lost.
Until I met Klaus.
Saw his... his strength,
his humorless cruelty, and I...
I was lost all over again.
Oh, yeah.
Nothing like humorless cruelty to get you going.
Shut up!
I am so sick and tired of you non-believers!
Smoking and smirking
and just thinking of themselves
and what they're gonna get!
Well, you don't have to think anymore
because when the Righteous lays down with the Wicked... ?
This is what they get.
Dammit, Sarah. You can't do anything right.
Um...
May I?
Sometimes with the Sig Sauer
when the firing pin gets hot...
It jams, I know.
True what you say about selfishness in the world.
Sometimes doing what's right for you
and just you... no cause,
no religion, no man...
it ain't selfish at all.
Sometimes it's just righteous.
Now, this is fixed
but I'm gonna keep it.
I got tons of 'em.
? Going down ?
- Still not working. - I can send
a technician out there. He'll be able to take care of everything.
No, th-there's no time for an in-house service call.
- ? Going down ? - The world is ending today.
Please hold, sir.
- Don't put me on hold again. - Please hold, sir.
- No... Adnan. - Just a moment.
Are you listening? I said don't put me on...
Adnan. Adnan!
Hey, you're, uh?
Big fan. So's my wife.
Honey? Say hello.
It's just such a pleasure.
The pleasure is mine.
Hey, while I have you? Lemme bend yer ear a minute,
'cause I got a lot of questions.
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
the moment we've been waiting for
for 2,000 years.
The Messiah!
Show time.
Look, I don't like it, either,
but this is the deal, so come on.
Don't give me that.
They were gonna kill you.
Uh... no.
Come on.
You can't hide in the clothes.
Don't hide in the clothes!
No.
- Uh, no. - Get out!
Aah!
No!
Now. They're all gonna die anyway! Come on.
What are you doing, Cass?
Come on!
Hippie wimp.
Fascist pig.
_
Dr. Goldberg to Neurology. Dr. Goldberg...
Okay, he's waking up.
Let's remove the bandages.
Hello, there, mate.
You've had an accident.
The bad news is, suffered some facial trauma.
But the good news is, you're gonna be fine.
Nurse, could you, uh... could you grab the mirror?
The plastic surgeons here been working day and night...
called you their passion project.
So we're all just a little bit curious to see... what...
Oh, my God.
Have some respect, people! It's still a human being!
Hyah!
Oh, he got me. Right in the pancreas.
But you come back to life, right?
Agh.
I shat myself.
Oh, I-I haven't done that since...
He can't kill you.
I think that boy, he can kill anything.
Our baby, our baby.
Do... Do the right thing.
What is that?
Sweetheart!
Genesis...
Alright.
Well...
You win.
Goodbye, Preacher.
Burn in hell.
You hear that?
Peace and quiet.
Family picnics,
planting a garden.
That's what He's offering.
And that's what you want.
So go on.
One last kill.
If that's really what you want...
If he lives,
everyone dies.
You get that, right?
It's not my problem.
Hump, go wait in the clothes.
What the hell is wrong with you,
hmm?
Jesse?
I love him.
Ever since I was a little kid.
And I never stopped.
He came back and...
I get
that that sucks a little bit for you.
I get it.
But you want to blow up the whole world 'cause of it?
Wise up, quit acting like a baby, and move.
Move!
What do you want me to say, huh?
You're my best friend.
No one, and I mean no one, makes me laugh like you do.
And you know I love you, but...
Only when I'm sad,
and I need a little shag.
You've hit me a lot.
And, honestly, I-I let it go because I love you.
So I just let you hurt me.
But I am so done.
And if you hit me like that again,
honestly, I'm gonna fucking kill you.
I'm sorry.
First I'm hearing it. You know? You're my best friend.
You think it's okay to try and grab-ass my wife?
Henry, he didn't grab-ass. He just sent me a text.
But that's not even the worst of it.
Next he tries to tell me that...
You're disappointed in me.
You're just another unbeliever.
Stand up and get on the tarp.
And you believe what, exactly?
Duty. Service.
Righteousness.
Toiling in a harsh and hateful life
to be rewarded in Paradise.
Life is not a thing to pass through.
Life is the thing itself.
Look there...
The particulates of dust dancing in the window light.
Nothing very hateful about that, is there?
I just got off the phone with a submarine commander
in the Egyptian Navy.
While the world turns to ash, we'll make our escape.
No, you're getting on the tarp!
We?
We're going to live under the sea. You and I.
Eating, yoga,
talking about books we like.
Pleasuring you repeatedly with my anus.
I don't think you'll get that kind of offer from Paradise.
You are of great value to me, Flufferman.
And you always have been.
Sorry, sir.
But my name
is Feathersto...
The clock says zero.
He has to dance. That's the signal.
- Kill! Us! All! - Kill! Us! All!
- Kill! Us! All! Kill! Us! All! - Kill! Us! All! Kill! Us! All!
- Kill! Us! All! - Kill! Us! All!
... at the end of the day,
how many beers you've had is no excuse.
I wonder where the Holy Child is?
- It's been a while. - You know these performer types.
Want us to beg for it.
Maybe somebody should check on Him?
I'm in the middle of my story.
Or not. It's your apocalypse.
You can die some other day.
I want to die today. Let's go.
I'd bring help.
I want to die!
In case he has stage fright.
Messiah!
Messiah?
Messiah!
Messiah! Messiah!
Still think I'm the funniest?
Messiah!
- Messiah! - Yeah.
I do, actually.
Cass...
I know.
- Cass... - I know.
Gawuhnnn...
So much for second chances.
To the Moo...
He was the best person I ever met.
No bullshit,
no agendas.
And he liked everyone,
even assholes.
It was the way I'd feel when I was with him, you know?
It just felt like it... like it changed yeh.
He was really special.
Jew!
You're god... damn... right.
Dad?
It's time, son.
Finally.
It's... It's time for what?
To...
To be the Messiah.
- Messiah. Messiah. - Messiah. Messiah.
- Messiah. Messiah. Messiah. - Messiah. Messiah. Messiah.
I got some bad news for you people.
So listen up.
You're saying no?
I used to want it.
To be the Savior for everyone...
like you promised?
I'm just a person, you know,
no better or no worse than anybody.
Y-You know I don't need you,
right?
The "Messiah" thing,
i-it's just... it's... it's showbiz.
I could blow the whole thing up myself at any time
f-for any reason.
Or. You could be merciful.
M-Mer...
Patient, tolerant and loving.
Loving?!
Yeah.
"And these three things remain:
faith, hope, and love.
The greatest of these..."
Run.
The world is not coming to an end.
Not today anyway.
We're not getting away with it that easy.
So for all of you watching this unhappy horseshit talent show?
Turn your TVs off.
That's disappointing.
_
I was at home lying in bed...
- and I couldn't stop thinking about you. - _
Thinking about what you've endured.
It's been so hard, hasn't it?
Yeah.
_
I'm here to help make it easy for you.
I can't do everything because of ethical concerns,
but I can switch this heart monitor off...
- What? What? - take the safety off this morphine drip...
It's your time to lay your burden down, son.
It's time to sleep with the angels.
When I leave, you just press that button
again and again and again.
And then you are free.
Okay?
_
Geez. You try to help someone...
God's gone. Again.
He's on the run.
Again. And I say good. Go, run.
I've been searching for Him a long time now.
So long I can't remember not.
What do I have to show for it?
What good has it done me?
Other than make me see the worst in myself...
... miss the best in others that I care about.
So I'm gonna stop looking.
And that's where you fascist assholes come in.
Because I'm not done with God.
Make no mistake.
No matter where He runs,
no matter how long it takes,
I want Him found!
So...
Go find Him.
_
Doors.
_
Whoo-hoo! Whoo!
So quiet.
Christ.
The three of us saved the world.
In, like...
Like, in an actual sense.
Not many people can say that, huh?
Churchill.
Lincoln.
Who else?
Frodo Baggins.
- Is fictional. - Mm?
Is a fictional character.
You say so.
The little guy with the furry feet, lives with the wizard?
- It's not real. - Alright. Firstly,
the wizard was a guest, man. He never actually lived with him.
- And, "B"... - Till the end of the world!
Alright.
Now what?
_
- Shit. - You think they gave up?
The Rodriguez Brothers?
All this for that thing?
It's a distributor from a 1936 Cord 810.
They don't even make 'em anymore.
Ammo?
I could just throw it at them.
_
I could make them blow each other.
Okay, there's eight of them.
They got shotguns and pistols...
Juan and his nephew, they got Kalashnikovs.
But we got...
bullet...
rolling papers...
and, uh...
power lines.
Got your lighter?
Do not tell me you lost it again?
No, I got it.
So, what? Huh?
I'm just happy.
Good.
Mrs. MacDougall will be very pleased
with the transmission now.
Any problems?
- You? - We had an accident.
Actually three. But, uh, she's fine.
Sleeping.
Cassidy called.
And?
He's at a peyote conference in Oaxaca.
I thought he was coming back?
I guess not yet.
How'd he sound?
Sounded okay.
Apparently, he threw up with Woody Harrelson.
Sounds about right.
She looks just like you.
I know I keep saying that.
I don't mind.
Uh, phone for Jesse.
Hello?
? And I will drink the clear ?
? Clean water for to quench my thirst ?
? I shall watch the ferry-boats and they'll get high ?
? On a bluer ocean against tomorrow's sky ?
? I will never grow so old again ?
What?
They found Him.
I have to go.
I want to go.
Where is he?
San Antonio.
_
Welcome.
Come, my child.
Sit with me.
Go about your lives.
Go ahead.
Make it day.
Make it night.
Well,
now that we have that out of the way.
Beer? Soda pop?
Diet Dr Pepper?
I have so many questions.
Ask.
Uh, I mean.
Kids with cancer?
Ah, well, suffering
is a great teacher.
It gives a person strength.
Or it kills you.
And teaches strength to those left behind.
Alright.
All the other religions? They're... They're wrong?
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.
There's a lot that, uh,... that is right,
that I, uh, admire about the other faiths.
But they're going to Hell?
No. No, no, no, no.
Not, uh... Not necessarily.
Right, right.
What about life on other planets?
- No. - What?
Organic gases, water deposits, sure.
Come on. I mean, all the planets?
Even the ones we don't know about?
What, you want aliens with, uh, bug eyes and laser guns
coming to get you? Sorry.
Well...
Yeah, that's surprising.
- Outta bean dip. - Ah.
Something from Piggly Wiggly?
No, no, babe. Thank you.
- Anything? - Uh, no.
No. Thank you.
Well, what else?
Uh... Stonehenge?
The Holocaust?
What are the key components of consciousness?
Is my dad in heaven?
Oh.
Your original sin.
Your father is, uh...
The man who dedicated his life to helping others?
Who never drank or cursed
or so much as cracked a Playboy?
And you prayed to Me
so hard
that he might burn in the fires of Hell.
I denied your prayer.
He's in Heaven.
Of course.
Here's what I want you to know,
and it might be difficult to understand, but...
the moment that I let your father die
and each and every single moment of your life that followed...
was an expression of my love.
I love you, Jesse Custer.
Do you believe me?
Good.
Now it's your turn.
To say it back.
Say you love me.
Your Great Design
is being loved.
Right?
That's it. That... That's the why.
I gave you pain.
I gave you joy.
Your family? That happiness that you feel?
That was my idea.
You know, whenever I imagined this moment,
it was just like this.
We'd talk, and you'd answer my questions,
I'd hear about my dad. And you'd help me understand.
What will be is what has always been.
I will go back to Heaven.
And all you need to do
is say it.
I get it, I get it.
I get it.
I understand.
Good.
I understand that we would all be better off
without a needy little bitch like you around.
There.
Say you love me.
Up.
Down.
So you keep driving around,
doing whatever it is you're doing down here,
but I'm warning you...
stay out of Heaven
and leave us alone.
You dare...
only because of your perverse power.
Be free.
Why?
I don't fuckin' need it.
Oh!
I will rip you apart!
I will gorge on your innards
and pick my teeth with your bones!
Still won't make me love you.
I am a loving God,
Jesse.
But my patience with you,
my patience with all humanity,
is nearing its end.
You will return my affection!
Or your replacement awaits!
Man, you're tough.
I get it. Uh, we got flaws. Thousands of 'em. Millions.
Of course.
But on the most part, I think humanity's a goddamn miracle.
And for that, in my opinion, you should be proud.
But if you've got something better cooking up in there?
By all means,
go for it.
Meantime, I'm gonna go see a movie.
_
Please, not now.
_
Shut up! All of you!
_
What do you want?!
I said...
_
- Aah! - _
_
- Shut up! - _
Buddy, I'm telling you, it doesn't match.
So give me my goddamn money back.
Sir, keep in mind this is a semi-gloss finish,
so I suggest take it on home
and see how you like it before you make a decision.
And if you don't like it, you can always bring it back.
We'll give you a full refund.
Uh-huh. And how long's that good for?
90 days.
Great.
Sorry I raised my voice.
Believe me, I understand.
- See ya. - Alright. Take care.
Dick.
K.C., come to outdoor parking to assist a customer.
K.C. to outdoor parking.
Who's next?
Think I may have to marry this 9-iron.
Left elbow in.
That's the key.
Pensacola P.D., Starr.
We've been looking a long time for you.
What the...
Is he?
He's jacking off!
Why?
Chief.
Feels like it breaks right to left.
Yeah!
You slaughtered the Heavenly Host.
They got in my way.
So I tore them apart like a wet sheet.
Were you not...
sent to Hell?
Deathbed confession.
Led my men to slaughter,
then I led them to be slaughtered.
He looked at me wrong, so I shot him...
Killed him, split him wide open with a dull blade,
and after, had my way with his wife.
Killed him crying...
God forgive me.
I dearly loved it.
Amen.
Preacher.
He figured you'd come back here sometime.
Figured that you and I had some unfinished business.
He figured right.
You dare?
It is given unto none to judge me!
Stand aside!
Can you not...
understand, William?
Can you know
what it was like to be the Creator
in the time before Creation?
I was alone.
Infinite loneliness!
And so out of nothing,
I created Love.
My greatest gift, William.
Allow me to take my Throne
and give it to you.
Your family... Your little girl...
I love them so.
I know.
What was taken...
shall now be returned.
Stand aside,
and let me give you
an eternity of love.
What if...
I choose hate?
That's what's important,
to feel useful in this old world...
hit a lick against what's wrong
or to say a word for what's right
even though you get walloped for saying that word.
I may sound like a Bible beater
yelling up a revival at a river-crossing camp meeting,
but that don't change the truth none.
There's right, and there's wrong.
You got to do one or the other.
You do the one and you're living...
you do the other, and you may be walking around,
but you're dead as a beaver hat.
_
So? I...
I hear you're a banker now? Is that right?
Well.
I run an Asset Management Fund.
We advise small businesses on charitable giving,
titling of assets, and income replacement strategies.
I've been praying.
Yeah?
Don't really know why. But...
just have.
Mm. No, I get it.
I think your daddy would, too.
- You think? - Oh, yeah.
He said you, uh,
used to drink gasoline...
and killed 20 angels
with a chainsaw. Is that true?
No, that's not bloody true.
He's exaggeratin'.
It was engine coolant.
He said you were the toughest guy he ever met.
Really?
Yeah.
That means a lot coming from him.
Mom, too.
She talked about you a lot.
All the time, actually.
Yeah, she wondered why you never came back to see them.
I always meant to. I just...
I always... I run out of time, you know?
I get it.
She loved you...
very much.
Over a hundred and fifty years, and I've been stabbed,
bloody chopped up,
blown up, dropped out of airplanes.
And you just... I just kept goin'
because that's what you do.
You just got to pick yourself up, you know,
just forget the pain, try and carry on.
But your bloody mom...
Do you know she shot me twice in the chest?
Right in the heart...
two times.
And that was years ago.
But it still hurts.
Guys! Quit your messing and be respectful!
- I'm sorry. - Oh, it's alright.
I think I'll get going.
Where to now?
Bangkok? Tijuana?
Always did love hearing about your adventures.
Mm? No, I...
I think I'll try someplace new.
Alright.
Mr. Cassidy?
Will we ever see you again?
Jaysis, I hope so.
- Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com -