1
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Previously on "The Middle"...

2
00:00:02,289 --> 00:00:03,597
Life's too short. If you have feelings

3
00:00:03,622 --> 00:00:04,686
for someone, you should tell them.

4
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She's kind of seeing someone.

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Oh, no, no, no! I can't throw this out.

6
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I found it in the trash.

7
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- I rescued it!
- Really, Sue?

8
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There's just something about it.

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It spoke to me.

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00:00:13,735 --> 00:00:15,750
Arrivederci!

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Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com

12
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Mike, your son's gonna be home
from Europe any second.

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Where's your "you"?

14
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I told you I'm not holding that.

15
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Ooh!

16
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He's on Plum Street!

17
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Get up! Get up! He's almost here!

18
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Keep your pants on.

19
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I'll get up when he's on Birchwood.

20
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He's on Birchwood! My boy's almost home!

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Okay, Brick, it's show time!

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Start recording.

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I had my phone a minute ago.

24
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Really?

25
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Hey, at least I'm attempting to help.

26
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I don't recall anyone
ever holding a sign

27
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saying they missed me.

28
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Go somewhere and we'll miss you. Here.

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Use my phone,

30
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and make sure you press
the right button.

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We don't want to miss this
like we missed Sue's thing.

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Wait, what thing of mine did you miss?

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Oh! He's here!

34
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Okay, what are we gonna say?

35
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How about, "Surprise!"

36
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It's not a surprise.
He knows we live here.

37
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Okay, then, how about,
"Here we are, as expected!"

38
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Watch your tone.

39
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Oh, so Dad has carte blanche
on attitude?

40
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- Welcome home!
- Surprise!

41
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I took your mattress!

42
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Bon giorno, mi familia! Mi sei mancata!

43
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He's speaking another language!

44
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Oh, my gosh! So, how was it?

45
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Don't leave out any details.

46
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We want to hear everything,
but in English.

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That sounded racist. I'll shut up. Go.

48
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It was awesome.

49
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Goin' to see Lexie. Ciao!

50
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And... we're filming!

51
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So, after his catch-up with Lexie,

52
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we finally caught up with Axl

53
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at the time only time we could...

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11:00 the next night,

55
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which was breakfast European time.

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So, Kenny and I running
to get the train,

57
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and he stops.

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Next thing I know,
my train is pulling away,

59
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and I see Kenny on a train

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going in the total opposite direction.

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So sorry.

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On the plane on the way over there,

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were they any manuals in the seat backs?

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Brick, we don't want
to hear about manuals.

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We want to hear about Vienna.

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No, we were in Venezia.

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That's Venice.

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Anyway, now,
I'm headed toward Firenze...

69
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that's, uh, Florence... and all I know,

70
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Kenny's headed to Roma... that's Rome.

71
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Yeah, we had that one figured out.
Long story short,

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I end up in a tiny
Italian village called Bondeno.

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The station's closing,
my cellphone is dead,

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I have no idea where Kenny is,

75
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the only thing I can say
in Italian is "Fuggedaboutit."

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This is insane.

77
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I would be freaking out.

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I went to meet Carly
at the wrong Panera Bread once,

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and I called 911.

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But I found the station manager.

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I noticed he had a Yankees' hat on,

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so I chased this guy down.

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Not only does he speak English,

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he invites me
to his family's restaurant,

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and he gives me a manual
with all the train schedules

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so I can figure out how to find Kenny.

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Yes, you can have the manual.

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As a matter of fact,
I brought everybody presents.

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Mom, you're first.

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Did you hear that, Mike? I'm first.

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I've never gotten a gift
from a foreign land before.

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Except when Rusty brought me back

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those antibiotics from Mexico.

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Pasta Paws from Guillermo's restaurant.

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This way, you can really
get in there and

96
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mix up the pasta.

97
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Wow!

98
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Ooh, and they pick up cheese
faster than fingers.

99
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Look!

100
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Dad, got you a authentic
Bavarian beer stein.

101
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- I like it!
- Mm!

102
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With an authentic Bavarian beer.

103
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Now I like it even more.

104
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Brick, I got you "Planet Nowhere"

105
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translated into French.

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Wow! Do I still get the manual?

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Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

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And last, but not least...

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Huh?

110
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Ah? Ah? Huh?

111
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It's a grain of rice
with your name on it

112
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and a tiny Eiffel Tower.

113
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Oh! I love it!

114
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Oh, it's so...

115
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small!

116
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So much better than Dad's perfect mug

117
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and Brick's really thoughtful
and cool French book!

118
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Oh!

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Nobody move, and don't vacuum.

120
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No danger of that.

121
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Oh!

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Hey, listen, Dad, I, uh,
know you weren't a big fan

123
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of letting me go on this trip,

124
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but anyways, I, um, I'm glad you did.

125
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Just wanted to say thanks.

126
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Well, I appreciate that, Axl.

127
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So, now that you're back on home soil,

128
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what's next on the agenda?

129
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A snoozy time.

130
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I am exhausted.

131
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Yeah.

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But hey, if I'm not up by dinner
tomorrow night, wake me up?

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And if you're going to the store,

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pick me up a jumbo conditionarre
y una champu grande,

135
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per favore.

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Mille grazie!

137
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I can't believe our son
travelled around Europe.

138
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Our son on another continent!

139
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And didn't you love his stories?
I mean, come on.

140
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Those stories were great.

141
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You never hear stories
like that in Orson.

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I was kind of waiting for the story

143
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that ended with him looking for a job.

144
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What?

145
00:04:48,337 --> 00:04:50,203
Mike, he just got home.

146
00:04:50,272 --> 00:04:53,073
Yeah, after three months
of delaying looking for a job.

147
00:04:53,219 --> 00:04:55,085
He wasn't delaying getting a job.

148
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He was having an experience.

149
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Look, life is not about things.

150
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It's about experiences.

151
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We wouldn't know that

152
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'cause we don't have things
or experiences,

153
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but clearly, it is!

154
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If you say so.

155
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Okay, what is wrong?

156
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I thought you said
you were happy for him.

157
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Briefly happy.
Now wanting him to get a job.

158
00:05:12,438 --> 00:05:14,597
Well, obviously, he's gonna get a job.

159
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Not with that thing
on his head, he's not.

160
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Oh, that's just the way

161
00:05:17,841 --> 00:05:19,307
the guys wear their hair over there.

162
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Really? The guys do?

163
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Okay, why are you so worried about this?

164
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I'm not worried.

165
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Giving him one more day

166
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to relieve his European adventure.

167
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Then I'm putting the hammer down.

168
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Look, I respect your right
to put hammers down,

169
00:05:32,610 --> 00:05:35,144
but I-I don't know if
we're in a hammer-down moment.

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I think he's really matured.

171
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He got himself all the way
around the world and back,

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alive, without any help from us.

173
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That's the bar now? Being alive?

174
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Trust me.

175
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I really believe that if we just
give him some breathing room

176
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and he catches up on his sleep,

177
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he's gonna prove me right.

178
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Hey, he brought presents home for us.

179
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He's never done that before.

180
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I do like my stein.

181
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Right? So, you're with me?

182
00:05:55,202 --> 00:05:56,935
W-We don't mention "work"

183
00:05:57,038 --> 00:05:59,471
or "job" or "search" or "résumé."

184
00:05:59,496 --> 00:06:02,364
We just back off,
and we leave it up to him.

185
00:06:02,389 --> 00:06:03,788
Pact?

186
00:06:03,813 --> 00:06:05,892
Mm... Mm-hmm.

187
00:06:09,483 --> 00:06:11,717
Got to admit, kind of like the man-bun.

188
00:06:12,820 --> 00:06:14,858
You're drunk on cheese.

189
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:21,923
Sue Heck's summer can officially begin!

190
00:06:21,948 --> 00:06:22,880
Whoo!

191
00:06:22,905 --> 00:06:26,653
Oh, after 572 straight shifts,
1,080 hours,

192
00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:28,611
and three birthday potato parties,

193
00:06:28,713 --> 00:06:30,646
I am finally done working!

194
00:06:30,715 --> 00:06:32,948
I've got north of 200 bucks
in my pocket,

195
00:06:33,051 --> 00:06:34,550
and that's after taxes!

196
00:06:34,619 --> 00:06:35,885
I have 'em withhold the most

197
00:06:35,953 --> 00:06:37,453
'cause I just love America so much.

198
00:06:37,493 --> 00:06:39,209
Wait, your summer can begin?

199
00:06:39,234 --> 00:06:40,600
Honey, you're going back to school

200
00:06:40,625 --> 00:06:41,590
day after tomorrow.

201
00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:42,658
Okay, here's the thing.

202
00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:43,859
You know I love summer,

203
00:06:43,884 --> 00:06:45,851
but I also had to work a lot
'cause we're really poor.

204
00:06:45,997 --> 00:06:48,397
So, I made a list of all
the summery things I love to do,

205
00:06:48,466 --> 00:06:49,999
and I am gonna knock 'em out
in the next two days.

206
00:06:50,068 --> 00:06:51,298
- Want to hear?
- That's okay.

207
00:06:51,323 --> 00:06:52,789
Hang out with friends,
learn how to whistle,

208
00:06:52,858 --> 00:06:55,649
make my own bath salts,
enjoy a good beach-read,

209
00:06:55,674 --> 00:06:56,673
fly a kite, binge-watch a show,

210
00:06:56,775 --> 00:06:57,974
get ice cream from an ice-cream truck,

211
00:06:58,076 --> 00:06:59,375
learn a summer sport,

212
00:06:59,444 --> 00:07:01,593
wear jewelry made of cereal and
see if any of my friends notice,

213
00:07:01,618 --> 00:07:02,597
get a tan...

214
00:07:02,665 --> 00:07:03,613
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

215
00:07:03,682 --> 00:07:05,115
Sue, there's no way
you're gonna get all that done.

216
00:07:05,140 --> 00:07:06,939
I am getting it done.

217
00:07:06,964 --> 00:07:10,430
I had two cups of Axl's
French coffee this morning.

218
00:07:10,545 --> 00:07:11,932
Not sure if I made it right.

219
00:07:11,957 --> 00:07:13,630
Do you know
if it's supposed to be chewy?

220
00:07:14,712 --> 00:07:16,637
The snow globe I found
in the garbage at school!

221
00:07:16,662 --> 00:07:17,826
I have been looking for this!

222
00:07:17,851 --> 00:07:19,930
Oh, it's Sean.

223
00:07:19,955 --> 00:07:21,152
I'll get it!

224
00:07:24,270 --> 00:07:25,969
Hey, Suzy Q!

225
00:07:26,038 --> 00:07:27,671
Hey, Sean! What are you doing here?

226
00:07:27,740 --> 00:07:29,173
You know I don't have a dance to go to.

227
00:07:31,277 --> 00:07:33,010
Oh, I-I just heard Axl's back in town,

228
00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:34,801
so I wanted to hear about his big trip.

229
00:07:34,914 --> 00:07:36,741
Oh, he's actually on the 12th hour

230
00:07:36,766 --> 00:07:37,771
of his afternoon siesta.

231
00:07:37,917 --> 00:07:39,316
That's Spanish for "nap."

232
00:07:39,385 --> 00:07:42,586
Wow, Mrs. Heck,
how very European of you.

233
00:07:42,655 --> 00:07:45,015
Mm-hmm. I also eat real cheese now.

234
00:07:45,333 --> 00:07:46,681
Well, I guess I could share

235
00:07:46,750 --> 00:07:47,982
the news with you guys, then.

236
00:07:48,007 --> 00:07:50,240
I just found out I got off
the wait list at St. Matthew's.

237
00:07:50,353 --> 00:07:52,020
So, looks like
I'll be going to med school

238
00:07:52,045 --> 00:07:53,144
in your neck of the woods.

239
00:07:53,323 --> 00:07:54,803
Oh, congrats!

240
00:07:54,872 --> 00:07:56,870
St. Matthew's? Really?

241
00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:59,102
That's practically on our campus.

242
00:07:59,127 --> 00:08:01,160
We share a bus stop and a 7-11.

243
00:08:01,185 --> 00:08:02,851
I know!

244
00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:05,909
Aw, that's so nice. You'll be together!

245
00:08:05,977 --> 00:08:07,710
You two have always
had a special connection.

246
00:08:07,735 --> 00:08:09,168
You're practically brother and sister.

247
00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:11,634
Uh... yeah.

248
00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:14,761
Okay, I guess I can catch up
with the Ax-man later.

249
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:15,918
Good to see you, Mrs. Heck.

250
00:08:15,943 --> 00:08:17,957
And... Ms. Q.

251
00:08:17,982 --> 00:08:19,615
I will see you on campus.

252
00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:21,173
Not if I see you first!

253
00:08:21,198 --> 00:08:22,464
I don't know why I said that.

254
00:08:31,003 --> 00:08:33,473
I suppose I'll just eat lunch
at home, then.

255
00:08:33,498 --> 00:08:34,530
Oh...

256
00:08:34,555 --> 00:08:35,954
I guess I forgot to offer you something.

257
00:08:35,979 --> 00:08:37,345
Just give me $8.64,

258
00:08:37,370 --> 00:08:39,270
and I'll get some shrimp
on the way home.

259
00:08:45,454 --> 00:08:48,956
Well, looks like we might
be seeing the send of "Brindy."

260
00:08:49,024 --> 00:08:50,090
What's Brindy?

261
00:08:50,159 --> 00:08:52,192
Brick and Cindy.
Don't you guys call us that?

262
00:08:52,294 --> 00:08:53,760
- S-Sure.
- No.

263
00:08:53,983 --> 00:08:55,716
Yeah. I need to break up with her.

264
00:08:55,741 --> 00:08:57,733
What? Why?

265
00:08:58,139 --> 00:09:00,139
We just haven't been clicking lately.

266
00:09:00,241 --> 00:09:01,674
Our conversations are stilted.

267
00:09:01,743 --> 00:09:03,442
I gave her the "Planet Nowhere" quiz,

268
00:09:03,467 --> 00:09:04,633
and she only got an 85.

269
00:09:04,812 --> 00:09:06,679
She skims the descriptive paragraphs.

270
00:09:06,704 --> 00:09:08,304
You can't do that.

271
00:09:08,329 --> 00:09:10,196
Have you really
thought this through, Brick?

272
00:09:10,418 --> 00:09:11,951
I mean, are you sure you want to...

273
00:09:12,020 --> 00:09:14,086
Break up with the only girl
that ever liked you?

274
00:09:14,371 --> 00:09:16,122
I'm just not sure I want to be tied down

275
00:09:16,190 --> 00:09:17,890
going into my big sophomore year.

276
00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:19,915
Big sophomore year?

277
00:09:20,017 --> 00:09:21,417
Everybody knows sophomore year

278
00:09:21,485 --> 00:09:23,419
is the most exciting year
of your high-school career.

279
00:09:24,005 --> 00:09:25,287
Pretty sure it isn't.

280
00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:26,388
Oh, come on...

281
00:09:26,457 --> 00:09:28,590
all the movies,
books about sophomore year?

282
00:09:28,659 --> 00:09:29,725
Everybody always saying,

283
00:09:29,794 --> 00:09:31,393
"I wish I was a sophomore again"?

284
00:09:31,721 --> 00:09:33,696
Bottom line, when I'm a boring senior,

285
00:09:33,764 --> 00:09:34,930
I don't want to look back and say

286
00:09:34,999 --> 00:09:37,599
I blew the most important year
of my life.

287
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,211
- Axl!
- Whoa!

288
00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:40,312
- What's going on?
- Mercy!

289
00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:41,313
Oh, my God.

290
00:09:41,338 --> 00:09:42,370
Relax.

291
00:09:42,516 --> 00:09:43,982
You Americans...
you're so hung up on nudity.

292
00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:46,118
I could go to any beach
in Europe like this.

293
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,352
Please do.

294
00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:49,054
You know, I don't even
sleep in boxers anymore.

295
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:50,889
Dad, you should try it.

296
00:09:50,914 --> 00:09:53,093
Hey, I just got him
to stop wearing socks to bed.

297
00:09:54,042 --> 00:09:56,142
So, it's 6:00 p.m.

298
00:09:56,211 --> 00:09:57,577
Ready to attack the day?

299
00:09:57,679 --> 00:10:00,033
Axl, now that you're home,
I need your help.

300
00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:01,791
We were waiting for you to get back

301
00:10:01,816 --> 00:10:03,182
because this is all our decision,

302
00:10:03,251 --> 00:10:05,251
and I need everybody to weigh in on it.

303
00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:07,213
Pronto.

304
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:09,048
That means, "Go on..."

305
00:10:09,073 --> 00:10:10,005
I think.

306
00:10:10,184 --> 00:10:12,351
Well, they're doing a huge ceremony

307
00:10:12,376 --> 00:10:14,209
for the reopening of the Orson cow,

308
00:10:14,234 --> 00:10:16,067
and they're burying a time capsule.

309
00:10:16,092 --> 00:10:18,759
So every family
needs to choose a special item

310
00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:21,117
to represent them for all of eternity,

311
00:10:21,429 --> 00:10:23,429
and it has to fit into this box.

312
00:10:23,531 --> 00:10:26,532
So we really have to give it
some serious thought

313
00:10:26,601 --> 00:10:28,034
'cause 100 years from now,

314
00:10:28,102 --> 00:10:30,536
future Orsonites are gonna
dig it up and judge us.

315
00:10:30,605 --> 00:10:32,338
100 years is nothing.

316
00:10:32,407 --> 00:10:34,907
I saw ruins in Rome
that were 10 million years old.

317
00:10:35,516 --> 00:10:36,586
No, you didn't.

318
00:10:36,611 --> 00:10:38,244
Really, Dad? Who was there... me or you?

319
00:10:38,902 --> 00:10:40,268
Sue, Sue! I need you...

320
00:10:40,293 --> 00:10:42,159
Sorry, Mom. No time.
I got to lay in the sun.

321
00:10:42,305 --> 00:10:44,606
First half of summer, I forget
sunblock and get burned,

322
00:10:44,631 --> 00:10:46,010
and then I peel in the second half...

323
00:10:46,035 --> 00:10:47,672
a.k.a. tomorrow.

324
00:10:49,980 --> 00:10:52,313
Okay, guys, we really
have to spitball on this

325
00:10:52,382 --> 00:10:54,449
'cause it has to be
something meaningful.

326
00:10:54,551 --> 00:10:56,651
Frankie, we trust you.
This is your thing.

327
00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:58,620
Whatever you come up
with is gonna be great.

328
00:10:58,722 --> 00:10:59,787
Oh!

329
00:10:59,856 --> 00:11:01,623
What about our Tweety Bird sippy-cup?

330
00:11:01,725 --> 00:11:02,824
All the kids used it,

331
00:11:02,892 --> 00:11:04,859
and it has their little
teeth marks in it.

332
00:11:04,961 --> 00:11:06,327
Oh, that would be cute.

333
00:11:06,352 --> 00:11:07,385
Eh.

334
00:11:07,564 --> 00:11:09,388
All right. That's it.

335
00:11:09,413 --> 00:11:11,738
No more laying around for me.

336
00:11:12,613 --> 00:11:13,806
I'm gonna go sit on the porch

337
00:11:13,875 --> 00:11:15,608
and watch people walk by.

338
00:11:23,519 --> 00:11:25,986
Aww! That one looks like a dragon.

339
00:11:26,011 --> 00:11:27,844
Pirate ship.

340
00:11:28,023 --> 00:11:29,256
Giraffe-dog! Ha!

341
00:11:29,358 --> 00:11:32,483
Hey, Axl, can I get your opinion
on something?

342
00:11:32,551 --> 00:11:34,237
So, I've decided to break up with Cindy.

343
00:11:34,306 --> 00:11:36,417
Whoa! You sure about that?

344
00:11:36,418 --> 00:11:38,618
Well, you know, sophomore year.

345
00:11:38,686 --> 00:11:40,419
The thing is,
now that I've decided to do it,

346
00:11:40,522 --> 00:11:42,421
I'm not exactly sure how to do it.

347
00:11:42,490 --> 00:11:45,163
- Why break up? Just add on.
- Bubbles!

348
00:11:45,239 --> 00:11:46,120
You know, in France,

349
00:11:46,189 --> 00:11:47,722
they got a girlfriend
for every day of the week.

350
00:11:47,824 --> 00:11:49,300
- And they got more days there.
- Bubble! Bubble!

351
00:11:49,325 --> 00:11:51,425
- Bubble!
- I don't think Cindy would go for that.

352
00:11:51,450 --> 00:11:52,897
I don't know what to tell ya, bud.

353
00:11:52,922 --> 00:11:54,614
Just, uh, get 'er done.

354
00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:56,697
Grab Dad's stepladder, climb on up,

355
00:11:56,766 --> 00:11:58,833
look Cindy in her eyes,
and tell her it's over.

356
00:11:59,130 --> 00:12:00,596
Yes!

357
00:12:00,621 --> 00:12:02,637
Nutty Buddy time.

358
00:12:02,739 --> 00:12:04,479
Ow! Oh, oh!

359
00:12:04,538 --> 00:12:05,904
Stepped on a pricker bush.

360
00:12:05,929 --> 00:12:08,342
Wasn't on my list, but it could've been.

361
00:12:13,735 --> 00:12:15,602
Okay, I just found out

362
00:12:15,670 --> 00:12:17,565
what the Donahues are putting
in their time capsule.

363
00:12:17,566 --> 00:12:20,600
They took a family photo in the
same place every day for a year,

364
00:12:20,625 --> 00:12:22,225
then Dottie made a movie of it,

365
00:12:22,250 --> 00:12:24,116
and Sean wrote a song
to go along with it.

366
00:12:24,141 --> 00:12:26,475
So their time capsule is perfect,

367
00:12:26,500 --> 00:12:29,030
and, um, what do we have?

368
00:12:29,055 --> 00:12:32,036
A chipped bowl, bent fork.

369
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,118
Oh, a note from Sue that says,

370
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:35,620
"Having a heavy period.

371
00:12:35,689 --> 00:12:37,589
Please pick me up super tampons,"

372
00:12:37,614 --> 00:12:39,580
which I now realize I forgot to do.

373
00:12:39,605 --> 00:12:41,372
So, that's where we are.

374
00:12:41,397 --> 00:12:44,031
More importantly, am I allowed
to tell the French chef

375
00:12:44,056 --> 00:12:46,457
to throw away his bologna wrappers?

376
00:12:46,482 --> 00:12:48,076
Mike, I'm serious.

377
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,367
This is our legacy.

378
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:50,602
We're not gonna be here forever,

379
00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:52,403
and when we're gone,
will people remember us?

380
00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:54,606
Will people remember
that the Hecks were here?

381
00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:56,908
What if they don't
and we're erased from history?

382
00:12:57,054 --> 00:12:59,187
I'm pretty sure
history will be fine with that.

383
00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:00,912
Okay.

384
00:13:03,642 --> 00:13:04,745
I'm telling you,

385
00:13:04,770 --> 00:13:07,304
take a two-hour bath
at least once a day.

386
00:13:07,372 --> 00:13:09,639
Nothing like a good, long soak.

387
00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:11,631
In other news,
I may have clogged your drain.

388
00:13:13,178 --> 00:13:14,398
You know what, Axl?

389
00:13:14,423 --> 00:13:15,689
Dad, I know.

390
00:13:15,714 --> 00:13:17,380
I can see the way
you've been looking at me

391
00:13:17,449 --> 00:13:18,415
ever since I came home.

392
00:13:18,483 --> 00:13:19,816
Got something you want to say,

393
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:21,239
but you're holding back.

394
00:13:21,264 --> 00:13:23,161
And you don't have to say it. I know.

395
00:13:24,066 --> 00:13:25,465
I love you, too, papá.

396
00:13:25,490 --> 00:13:27,290
Mwah! Mwah!

397
00:13:35,644 --> 00:13:37,889
So, I wasn't getting any help
on the time capsule,

398
00:13:37,914 --> 00:13:40,448
and the one person who would
normally be all over it

399
00:13:40,516 --> 00:13:42,383
was busy cramming in summer.

400
00:13:45,544 --> 00:13:47,411
Oof!

401
00:13:50,259 --> 00:13:52,159
Hey, Dad, I've been thinking.

402
00:13:52,184 --> 00:13:53,404
I like your hair.

403
00:13:53,429 --> 00:13:55,365
Might not be the flashiest style,

404
00:13:55,390 --> 00:13:56,322
but it's consistent.

405
00:13:56,424 --> 00:13:57,423
Continue.

406
00:13:57,525 --> 00:13:59,558
I really need help
with this breakup thing.

407
00:13:59,627 --> 00:14:01,827
You haven't talked to her yet?
Just get it done.

408
00:14:01,930 --> 00:14:02,828
I'm trying.

409
00:14:02,897 --> 00:14:04,230
I got some advice from Axl,

410
00:14:04,299 --> 00:14:06,699
but I realized what works
for him might not work for me.

411
00:14:06,801 --> 00:14:09,135
But then it occurred to me
you and I are very similar.

412
00:14:10,041 --> 00:14:11,137
Okay.

413
00:14:11,282 --> 00:14:13,116
So I was thinking you might be able

414
00:14:13,141 --> 00:14:14,840
to shed some light
on this whole subject.

415
00:14:14,909 --> 00:14:16,742
Look, Brick, I might not
be the right guy

416
00:14:16,767 --> 00:14:18,461
to ask for breakup advice.

417
00:14:18,486 --> 00:14:19,418
Why not?

418
00:14:19,971 --> 00:14:20,952
Truth is,

419
00:14:20,977 --> 00:14:22,977
I never really broke up with a girl.

420
00:14:23,156 --> 00:14:24,522
I would just sort of grow distant

421
00:14:24,547 --> 00:14:27,415
and let them sort of... drift away.

422
00:14:28,357 --> 00:14:29,289
Come to think of it,

423
00:14:29,314 --> 00:14:30,647
there might be a couple women out there

424
00:14:30,672 --> 00:14:32,338
who still think
they're going out with me.

425
00:14:32,766 --> 00:14:34,440
So you've got no advice for me?

426
00:14:34,465 --> 00:14:35,898
Lock in that hairstyle.

427
00:14:40,674 --> 00:14:42,040
Don't mind me.

428
00:14:42,065 --> 00:14:43,832
Just making my signature summer drink.

429
00:14:47,681 --> 00:14:49,747
Not that I care, but why are you trying

430
00:14:49,783 --> 00:14:52,076
to cram a whole summer
into just two days?

431
00:14:52,101 --> 00:14:54,368
Uh, because I spent the rest
of my summer making money?

432
00:14:54,670 --> 00:14:56,237
Mm.

433
00:14:56,262 --> 00:14:57,361
"Want to buy this.

434
00:14:57,386 --> 00:14:59,086
I got to have that." Sue.

435
00:14:59,325 --> 00:15:01,492
Sue, Sue, Sue. You got blinders on!

436
00:15:01,517 --> 00:15:03,016
You got red, white, and blue
blinders on,

437
00:15:03,041 --> 00:15:04,407
and you're missing the big picture.

438
00:15:04,792 --> 00:15:05,758
You got a huge hole,

439
00:15:05,999 --> 00:15:07,332
and you're trying to fill it with stuff.

440
00:15:07,434 --> 00:15:08,666
Well, I've been on the other side,

441
00:15:08,735 --> 00:15:10,935
and I'm here to tell you
money is not the answer.

442
00:15:11,004 --> 00:15:13,204
Only thing that's gonna
fill that hole is love.

443
00:15:13,907 --> 00:15:15,673
Can I borrow 20 bucks?

444
00:15:15,698 --> 00:15:17,131
This wine tastes like butt.

445
00:15:18,359 --> 00:15:21,813
Hey! That's our special wine
from Missouri wine country.

446
00:15:21,881 --> 00:15:23,915
You just tell them what kind of
berries you like and how much sugar,

447
00:15:23,940 --> 00:15:25,806
and they make it for you
right on the spot.

448
00:15:26,107 --> 00:15:27,239
Ah, good.

449
00:15:27,264 --> 00:15:28,897
We're drinking wine
in the middle of the day.

450
00:15:28,922 --> 00:15:31,155
It's called enjoying life, unlike Sue,

451
00:15:31,224 --> 00:15:33,024
who's working like a dog
on a hamster wheel

452
00:15:33,093 --> 00:15:34,258
in a rat race to nowhere.

453
00:15:34,515 --> 00:15:36,348
Don't say Sue's working too hard.

454
00:15:36,373 --> 00:15:39,001
I admire her for having a plan.

455
00:15:39,026 --> 00:15:40,475
I have plans, your mom has plans.

456
00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:41,565
Everybody has plans.

457
00:15:41,590 --> 00:15:43,290
We have a roof over our head
because of plans.

458
00:15:43,358 --> 00:15:44,724
And I'll tell you something e...

459
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:47,933
Welcome home, honey.

460
00:15:50,638 --> 00:15:52,938
Well, I still haven't
broken up with Cindy.

461
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:54,907
This type of personal transaction

462
00:15:54,932 --> 00:15:56,331
requires a level of social grace

463
00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:58,056
that frankly, I do not possess.

464
00:15:58,090 --> 00:15:59,323
Just have a glass of wine.

465
00:15:59,603 --> 00:16:00,779
I find it really takes the edge off.

466
00:16:00,804 --> 00:16:02,393
You got to help me, Mom.

467
00:16:02,418 --> 00:16:03,818
Axl's advice was morally bereft,

468
00:16:03,843 --> 00:16:05,142
and Dad's was spotty at best.

469
00:16:05,519 --> 00:16:06,685
Oh, and just a heads-up...

470
00:16:06,710 --> 00:16:08,443
I think he's still dating
a couple women.

471
00:16:08,622 --> 00:16:10,904
So, Mom, if you were still
young and vital,

472
00:16:10,929 --> 00:16:13,431
how would you like to hear,
"I'm sick of you,

473
00:16:13,456 --> 00:16:14,856
your ears don't do it for me anymore,

474
00:16:14,881 --> 00:16:15,813
we're in a rut,

475
00:16:15,838 --> 00:16:17,705
it's dead, it's over, it's done"?

476
00:16:17,776 --> 00:16:19,242
Hello?

477
00:16:19,377 --> 00:16:21,677
Brick? Is that you?

478
00:16:21,702 --> 00:16:23,540
Oh, my God! I butt-dialed Cindy!

479
00:16:23,565 --> 00:16:26,062
What on earth is my phone
doing in my pocket?!

480
00:16:26,087 --> 00:16:27,052
I'm a dead man!

481
00:16:28,576 --> 00:16:30,909
Bet you want that wine now, huh?

482
00:16:36,519 --> 00:16:37,885
I need the TV asap.

483
00:16:37,954 --> 00:16:39,653
I got to binge-watch "13 Reasons Why,"

484
00:16:39,756 --> 00:16:41,622
and I'm only up to the fourth reason.

485
00:16:41,691 --> 00:16:44,425
I got a bad feeling about it,
but I'm gonna stick with it

486
00:16:44,494 --> 00:16:46,327
'cause I think it has a happy ending.

487
00:16:46,396 --> 00:16:47,294
Okay.

488
00:16:47,363 --> 00:16:48,629
Did everyone pick the item

489
00:16:48,654 --> 00:16:50,587
that means the most to them
so we can vote on it?

490
00:16:52,145 --> 00:16:53,878
Oh, come on. Really?!

491
00:16:53,903 --> 00:16:55,136
If Cindy heard what I think she heard,

492
00:16:55,204 --> 00:16:56,437
a time capsule isn't the only thing

493
00:16:56,506 --> 00:16:57,772
you're gonna be burying in the earth.

494
00:16:57,840 --> 00:16:58,906
Oh, cry me a river, Brick.

495
00:16:58,975 --> 00:17:00,264
Look at all this stuff
I still have to do.

496
00:17:00,289 --> 00:17:02,089
Have you been paying attention at all?

497
00:17:02,245 --> 00:17:04,378
Do you understand
the enormity of my situation?

498
00:17:04,403 --> 00:17:06,283
If Cindy heard half the things

499
00:17:06,308 --> 00:17:07,386
that I said on that butt-dial,

500
00:17:07,411 --> 00:17:09,313
she's gonna be very angry,

501
00:17:09,338 --> 00:17:10,403
and trust me,

502
00:17:10,428 --> 00:17:11,960
you do not want to see her
when she's angry.

503
00:17:11,985 --> 00:17:13,933
Her eyes go black like a shark.

504
00:17:15,944 --> 00:17:17,878
Hello, Brick. You called me?

505
00:17:17,980 --> 00:17:19,179
Oh, did I?

506
00:17:19,281 --> 00:17:21,732
Um, let's check my call history.

507
00:17:22,561 --> 00:17:23,594
Uh, let's see.

508
00:17:23,619 --> 00:17:25,385
I made two calls this month,

509
00:17:25,410 --> 00:17:29,379
one to Troy and one to... oh, yeah, you.

510
00:17:29,558 --> 00:17:31,191
I couldn't hear anything that you said.

511
00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:32,489
That's why I came over.

512
00:17:33,340 --> 00:17:35,255
Wait. So you didn't hear me at all?

513
00:17:35,348 --> 00:17:36,413
No.

514
00:17:36,815 --> 00:17:38,148
Oh, thank God.

515
00:17:38,378 --> 00:17:39,644
I'm breaking up with you.

516
00:17:39,713 --> 00:17:41,279
We're in a rut.

517
00:17:41,304 --> 00:17:42,704
Your ears don't do it for me anymore.

518
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:44,528
It's dead, it's over, it's done.

519
00:17:44,718 --> 00:17:47,219
Brick, are you sure
that this is the right time?

520
00:17:47,244 --> 00:17:48,309
And place?

521
00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:49,300
What are you talking about?

522
00:17:49,325 --> 00:17:50,490
You guys are the ones who told me

523
00:17:50,515 --> 00:17:51,447
that I was overthinking

524
00:17:51,472 --> 00:17:52,571
and to just break up with her already.

525
00:17:52,596 --> 00:17:54,382
So this was their idea?

526
00:17:57,464 --> 00:17:58,463
Yes.

527
00:17:58,532 --> 00:18:00,298
Is this because your mom
is so controlling

528
00:18:00,367 --> 00:18:01,933
and your dad has no emotional depth?

529
00:18:02,002 --> 00:18:03,998
- Yes.
- Is it because your brother and sister

530
00:18:04,023 --> 00:18:05,047
sucked up all your parents' love

531
00:18:05,072 --> 00:18:06,404
and they didn't leave any for you?

532
00:18:06,473 --> 00:18:08,310
- Yes.
- Okay, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

533
00:18:08,412 --> 00:18:09,821
You can't put this all on us.

534
00:18:09,890 --> 00:18:11,931
And you could've put
a little more effort

535
00:18:11,956 --> 00:18:13,489
into your "Planet Nowhere" test.

536
00:18:13,558 --> 00:18:15,257
I can't believe this is happening,

537
00:18:15,326 --> 00:18:17,793
and right at the beginning
of our big sophomore year.

538
00:18:17,862 --> 00:18:19,428
Did we miss something?

539
00:18:19,497 --> 00:18:21,530
And to think I let you see me hatless.

540
00:18:21,555 --> 00:18:23,489
I am white with rage right now.

541
00:18:23,514 --> 00:18:25,014
Uh, if she threw a baguette at his head,

542
00:18:25,039 --> 00:18:27,906
this could've totally happened
on the street in Paris.

543
00:18:27,931 --> 00:18:29,631
You destroyed our love.

544
00:18:29,656 --> 00:18:32,657
Now I'll destroy something you love.

545
00:18:33,010 --> 00:18:35,111
No, not the microfiche!

546
00:18:36,647 --> 00:18:38,437
Ow!

547
00:18:39,855 --> 00:18:41,960
Damn it, I just got rid
of my other bruise.

548
00:18:44,621 --> 00:18:47,026
Well, that went
way better than expected.

549
00:18:47,529 --> 00:18:48,795
Nope, nope, no, no, no.

550
00:18:48,820 --> 00:18:49,986
No one's going anywhere.

551
00:18:50,011 --> 00:18:51,844
No one's leaving
until we make a decision

552
00:18:51,869 --> 00:18:53,002
about this damn time capsule.

553
00:18:53,496 --> 00:18:54,795
Mom, I am sorry,

554
00:18:54,820 --> 00:18:57,154
but I only have 47 minutes left
of daylight in my summer,

555
00:18:57,179 --> 00:18:59,379
and I still have to write
a letter to my future self,

556
00:18:59,419 --> 00:19:00,918
master the art of the flirty text,

557
00:19:01,171 --> 00:19:02,971
and lift a homeless person
out of poverty.

558
00:19:03,073 --> 00:19:04,272
I am totally stressed out.

559
00:19:04,341 --> 00:19:05,407
Typical American.

560
00:19:05,475 --> 00:19:06,708
You spent your whole summer

561
00:19:06,810 --> 00:19:08,643
chasing the almighty dollar
instead of living life,

562
00:19:08,712 --> 00:19:10,145
and now you're full of bitter regret.

563
00:19:10,247 --> 00:19:11,379
You could stand

564
00:19:11,404 --> 00:19:13,471
to chase a dollar or two
yourself, man-bun.

565
00:19:13,650 --> 00:19:14,549
Mike. Yeah?

566
00:19:14,618 --> 00:19:16,079
Oh, I forgot.

567
00:19:16,148 --> 00:19:17,619
I'm not allowed
to talk about the big things

568
00:19:17,644 --> 00:19:19,210
that are going on
in the house right now.

569
00:19:19,235 --> 00:19:20,634
I got to talk about the little crap

570
00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:22,125
that's happening 100 years from now!

571
00:19:22,150 --> 00:19:24,288
It's not crap, it's important.

572
00:19:24,416 --> 00:19:25,715
Why don't you just put the TV in?

573
00:19:25,740 --> 00:19:27,039
There's nothing on it that passes

574
00:19:27,064 --> 00:19:28,296
for any kind of culture.

575
00:19:28,398 --> 00:19:29,898
I told you guys a million times...

576
00:19:29,966 --> 00:19:33,001
it has to fit
into the official box, okay?

577
00:19:33,095 --> 00:19:36,663
Like... like this size, see?

578
00:19:36,688 --> 00:19:38,246
Snowglobe size.

579
00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:43,073
Anybody? Anyone at all?

580
00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:44,130
Sorry, I'm out.

581
00:19:44,155 --> 00:19:45,388
They turned down Heartland's Hidden Gem.

582
00:19:45,413 --> 00:19:47,347
I don't trust this town
to do anything that makes sense.

583
00:19:47,372 --> 00:19:48,772
Oh, my God, Brick, get over it!

584
00:19:48,797 --> 00:19:49,897
You get over it!

585
00:19:49,922 --> 00:19:52,345
Frankie, just pick something! Who cares?

586
00:19:52,370 --> 00:19:54,760
I care! I care.

587
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:57,761
I am trying to create a legacy
for our family.

588
00:19:57,830 --> 00:20:00,564
I-I want to know that
all the things that we've done,

589
00:20:00,666 --> 00:20:03,867
all our pains and struggles
and laughs and sorrows,

590
00:20:03,969 --> 00:20:07,195
everything that we shared,
th-that it won't be overlooked,

591
00:20:07,220 --> 00:20:09,603
that people will remember
the Hecks after we're gone,

592
00:20:09,628 --> 00:20:12,747
and that we will have
left a mark on the world.

593
00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:14,770
And whatever that mark is,

594
00:20:14,795 --> 00:20:17,738
it has to fit into this freaking box!

595
00:20:17,763 --> 00:20:19,293
- Ah!
- Mom!

596
00:20:19,318 --> 00:20:20,242
- Oh, my God!
- Not in my sophomore year!

597
00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:22,744
Come here.

598
00:20:22,846 --> 00:20:25,088
Don't worry. It's not what you think.

599
00:20:25,113 --> 00:20:26,880
I never had real cheese before,

600
00:20:26,905 --> 00:20:29,430
and my body didn't know
how to process it.

601
00:20:29,686 --> 00:20:33,096
I guess in the end, it took
a real-cheese fake-heart attack

602
00:20:33,121 --> 00:20:35,255
for us to realize Axl was right.

603
00:20:35,434 --> 00:20:38,101
We did need to slow down
and enjoy life...

604
00:20:38,126 --> 00:20:40,026
be more like the Europeans.

605
00:20:40,205 --> 00:20:43,106
'Cause really, who cares
what happens in 100 years?

606
00:20:43,208 --> 00:20:46,076
There's no better legacy
than knowing you've lived

607
00:20:46,178 --> 00:20:47,778
every moment getting the most

608
00:20:47,803 --> 00:20:50,570
out of the time
with the people you love.

609
00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:53,984
And if Axl didn't mention
getting a job in a week,

610
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:56,620
we were gonna go American on his ass.

611
00:21:06,877 --> 00:21:08,877
Oh, hey, Sean.

612
00:21:08,910 --> 00:21:10,910
You stopping by to wish me
a happy sophomore year?

613
00:21:11,184 --> 00:21:13,647
Uh, I wa... I wasn't, but sure.

614
00:21:13,735 --> 00:21:15,390
Congrats!

615
00:21:15,507 --> 00:21:17,016
Anyway, my mom sent me over

616
00:21:17,017 --> 00:21:18,221
to pick up your guys' time capsule.

617
00:21:18,222 --> 00:21:20,222
Oh, um...

618
00:21:23,323 --> 00:21:25,031
So, you miss being a sophomore?

619
00:21:25,032 --> 00:21:26,536
Oh, yeah.

620
00:21:26,537 --> 00:21:28,536
All right.

621
00:21:28,614 --> 00:21:29,530
Here you go.

622
00:21:29,531 --> 00:21:32,291
Thanks, Brickster. Weird, huh?

623
00:21:32,357 --> 00:21:34,357
No one's gonna see
what's in here for 100 years.

624
00:21:34,450 --> 00:21:36,450
Bye.

625
00:21:41,294 --> 00:21:48,722
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