1 00:00:00,711 --> 00:00:02,192 I was born here. 2 00:00:02,205 --> 00:00:03,722 I grew up here. My friends are here, 3 00:00:03,746 --> 00:00:05,998 my work is here. There's only one way I'm leaving now 4 00:00:06,045 --> 00:00:07,487 and that's in a coffin. 5 00:00:07,607 --> 00:00:08,841 That's good to know. 6 00:00:09,267 --> 00:00:10,767 It's better if you go back to your mum. 7 00:00:10,790 --> 00:00:12,302 But you said this is my home. 8 00:00:13,586 --> 00:00:15,494 - Tom! - I'll drop your things round later. 9 00:00:16,055 --> 00:00:18,565 - Tom! - I never want to see him again. 10 00:00:20,264 --> 00:00:22,225 You're not going to waste 15 years. 11 00:00:22,581 --> 00:00:24,285 Tonight's when you escape. 12 00:00:24,857 --> 00:00:26,036 What's going on? 13 00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:28,277 - You're not taking her. - You're never going to see me again. 14 00:00:28,324 --> 00:00:29,941 - Come on! - You're never going to see Amelie again. 15 00:00:29,981 --> 00:00:31,645 - You're obsessed. - Please, Kate. 16 00:00:31,662 --> 00:00:32,998 Have her! 17 00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:37,924 My daughter! My family! 18 00:00:37,953 --> 00:00:40,288 - I didn't do any of that. - No, no, 19 00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:42,185 - no! - Your wife and your daughter have moved away. 20 00:00:42,196 --> 00:00:44,466 Your mother is dead and you threw your own son out 21 00:00:44,508 --> 00:00:47,659 - so there's nothing left for you here. - You think you've won. 22 00:00:47,940 --> 00:00:49,404 Look, I'm still here. 23 00:00:50,653 --> 00:00:51,674 Where are you going? 24 00:00:51,715 --> 00:00:53,145 To get my son. 25 00:00:53,991 --> 00:00:55,369 We need to talk. 26 00:01:33,687 --> 00:01:35,976 Shit! Shit. 27 00:01:38,747 --> 00:01:40,246 Shit. 28 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:40,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 29 00:02:49,437 --> 00:02:51,496 We need to go. Your dad knows where we are. 30 00:02:52,807 --> 00:02:55,246 But you said I didn't have to see him. 31 00:02:55,247 --> 00:02:56,696 What does he want? 32 00:02:57,777 --> 00:03:00,166 To talk to you. Kate has gone with Amelie, 33 00:03:00,167 --> 00:03:03,356 he's been kicked out of his house, his work. 34 00:03:03,357 --> 00:03:05,516 Could you help me, please? 35 00:03:05,517 --> 00:03:07,386 I just thought once everyone left him, he'd... 36 00:03:08,417 --> 00:03:09,916 ... realise it was over. 37 00:03:09,917 --> 00:03:11,376 Where are we going? 38 00:03:12,737 --> 00:03:14,186 Home. 39 00:03:16,387 --> 00:03:17,706 We have to go. 40 00:03:27,317 --> 00:03:28,906 If he wants to talk, maybe I should. 41 00:03:28,907 --> 00:03:30,406 What would you say? 42 00:03:31,487 --> 00:03:32,796 No, it's a bad idea. 43 00:04:07,627 --> 00:04:09,126 It's fine, it's going to be OK. 44 00:04:12,407 --> 00:04:13,726 Tom? 45 00:04:43,821 --> 00:04:45,830 This'll be the next place he'll try. 46 00:04:45,831 --> 00:04:47,190 I had the locks changed. 47 00:04:48,321 --> 00:04:49,730 And we can always call the police. 48 00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:54,790 Where is everything? 49 00:04:55,911 --> 00:04:59,660 Gone, most of it, but your room's in storage. 50 00:04:59,661 --> 00:05:01,820 Anna sorted it before she left. 51 00:05:01,821 --> 00:05:03,790 We agreed, remember? New start? 52 00:05:03,791 --> 00:05:04,960 It's weird. 53 00:05:07,351 --> 00:05:08,810 Yeah, I know. 54 00:05:14,291 --> 00:05:18,040 Look, Tom, in the end, I can't order him to leave. 55 00:05:18,041 --> 00:05:20,240 But at least now there's less reason for him to stay. 56 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,450 What are these? 57 00:05:24,321 --> 00:05:26,530 I was hoping by now he'd be gone and 58 00:05:26,531 --> 00:05:30,280 we'd come back home with a blank slate, 59 00:05:30,281 --> 00:05:32,670 we'd want to make some decisions about the future. 60 00:05:32,671 --> 00:05:34,030 We've never had a new kitchen. 61 00:05:34,031 --> 00:05:35,200 Yeah, right? 62 00:05:35,201 --> 00:05:37,070 I thought you'd help me choose. 63 00:05:39,601 --> 00:05:40,960 I might move out next year. 64 00:05:40,961 --> 00:05:43,920 Max's sister did it when she was 16, lived by herself. 65 00:05:43,921 --> 00:05:45,560 She said it was possible. 66 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,950 What did your dad say, about me, that made you go with him? 67 00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:52,450 I told you, it doesn't matter. 68 00:05:52,451 --> 00:05:54,840 I thought we were... We were never like this. 69 00:05:54,841 --> 00:05:55,970 Choose what you want. 70 00:06:04,681 --> 00:06:06,040 Mum? 71 00:06:12,421 --> 00:06:13,830 He's just standing there. 72 00:06:19,781 --> 00:06:21,190 Tom. 73 00:06:21,191 --> 00:06:22,410 No. 74 00:06:23,391 --> 00:06:25,170 Tom, this isn't a good idea. 75 00:06:29,201 --> 00:06:30,330 Mate. 76 00:06:30,331 --> 00:06:33,750 - Can I talk to you, please? - Yeah. 77 00:06:33,751 --> 00:06:35,910 - Go on, then. - No, I meant without your mum. 78 00:06:35,911 --> 00:06:37,130 Say it here. 79 00:06:40,171 --> 00:06:44,200 All right. Well, I assume she's told you what's happened with Kate... 80 00:06:45,381 --> 00:06:48,240 ... and Amelie. I'm obviously upset and... 81 00:06:49,411 --> 00:06:50,444 I suppose I need your help. 82 00:06:50,445 --> 00:06:52,410 - Simon, he's 15. - Shut up! 83 00:06:52,411 --> 00:06:55,690 I was looking after my mum when I was 15. 15 is old. 84 00:06:55,691 --> 00:06:58,130 Stop trying to protect him, it doesn't work. Does it, mate? 85 00:07:03,001 --> 00:07:05,060 I'm sorry I didn't let you in the house. 86 00:07:05,061 --> 00:07:07,130 Kate was concerned after what you did. 87 00:07:07,131 --> 00:07:11,490 - Oh, so it's my fault. - I thought we'd sort it out in time, but now... 88 00:07:11,491 --> 00:07:13,740 The thing is, I literally don't know who else to turn to. 89 00:07:13,741 --> 00:07:16,270 Mum gave you some money to get a hotel room. 90 00:07:16,271 --> 00:07:17,680 Yeah, well, I don't want her... 91 00:07:17,681 --> 00:07:19,080 - I don't want that. - Why not? 92 00:07:22,221 --> 00:07:23,350 Stay away from him. 93 00:07:33,751 --> 00:07:36,330 Sometimes children have to look after their parents. 94 00:07:37,931 --> 00:07:39,900 It's not like I'm the only one to blame, she's... 95 00:07:42,241 --> 00:07:43,546 Are you going to stay with your mum now, 96 00:07:43,547 --> 00:07:45,150 after everything we spoke about? 97 00:07:45,151 --> 00:07:47,350 - What are you doing? - Asking questions... 98 00:07:47,351 --> 00:07:49,320 No, you're using me to get at her. 99 00:07:49,321 --> 00:07:50,539 - I just need... - You're obsessed. 100 00:07:50,540 --> 00:07:51,990 ... someone who understands me. 101 00:07:51,991 --> 00:07:54,100 - Well, I don't. - OK, well, we just... 102 00:07:54,101 --> 00:07:55,460 - Leave us alone! - Just... 103 00:07:58,041 --> 00:07:59,820 If I had a knife now, I'd stab you, 104 00:07:59,821 --> 00:08:01,320 I would, I would stab you. 105 00:08:02,541 --> 00:08:05,590 Here and here and here. 106 00:08:05,591 --> 00:08:07,460 You should stab yourself. 107 00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:11,450 Maybe I will. Maybe I will! 108 00:08:19,131 --> 00:08:22,410 - Are you OK? - What did you say to him as I walked away? 109 00:08:22,411 --> 00:08:24,990 - What? - He shouted at you. 110 00:08:24,991 --> 00:08:27,200 Maybe I will. Will what? 111 00:08:29,211 --> 00:08:30,620 I told him to leave us alone. 112 00:08:34,091 --> 00:08:35,780 - I'll deal with it. - Why won't he stop? 113 00:08:35,781 --> 00:08:38,260 - What does he want? - It's fine. Go upstairs. 114 00:08:58,981 --> 00:09:01,790 Hi. We've just moved in across the way. 115 00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:04,510 I'm Lucy. This is Harry and Matty. 116 00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:05,780 - Gemma. - Hi! 117 00:09:05,781 --> 00:09:09,480 - Hi. - We're just exploring, meeting people, so... 118 00:09:09,481 --> 00:09:12,150 My husband just got this new job. Short notice, so... 119 00:09:14,401 --> 00:09:17,780 - You're in the middle of something. - No, look, erm... 120 00:09:17,781 --> 00:09:19,790 Maybe tomorrow, if you're around then... 121 00:09:21,251 --> 00:09:23,450 ... we could chat. Is that OK? 122 00:09:23,451 --> 00:09:25,650 Perfect. Have a good evening. 123 00:09:25,651 --> 00:09:28,420 OK, bye. Will you say bye-bye? 124 00:09:28,421 --> 00:09:30,440 - Bye. - Bye. 125 00:09:39,811 --> 00:09:40,980 He's gone, then? 126 00:09:54,301 --> 00:09:55,700 Don't worry, I'm back. 127 00:09:57,201 --> 00:09:59,830 Safe and sound, the breadwinner returns. 128 00:09:59,831 --> 00:10:01,800 Hey, how was physics? 129 00:10:01,801 --> 00:10:03,910 - Yeah, good. - Are you going to say hello? 130 00:10:03,911 --> 00:10:05,780 - Hello! - Charming. 131 00:10:07,191 --> 00:10:08,880 I thought you were back at six. 132 00:10:08,881 --> 00:10:12,770 Right, well, I'm an increasingly successful entrepreneur. 133 00:10:12,771 --> 00:10:14,780 Most of them tend to work until the early hours, 134 00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:19,050 but you are lucky to have a husband with the right priorities. 135 00:10:19,051 --> 00:10:20,816 The fact that I'm back home at seven 136 00:10:20,817 --> 00:10:24,960 is testament to the importance of my family in my life. 137 00:10:24,961 --> 00:10:26,690 Well, I'm glad you spelled that out for me. 138 00:10:26,691 --> 00:10:29,220 You wouldn't believe the amount of paperwork I have to do. 139 00:10:29,221 --> 00:10:30,670 You're talking to a GP. 140 00:10:32,501 --> 00:10:34,280 Have you packed for the weekend? 141 00:10:34,281 --> 00:10:36,250 - Do it in a minute. - Where you off to? 142 00:10:36,251 --> 00:10:38,270 - London? - Hemel Hampstead. 143 00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:39,770 Ooh, the glamour. 144 00:10:39,771 --> 00:10:41,270 Quite nice, actually. What's this? 145 00:10:41,271 --> 00:10:44,460 Oh, I thought I'd cook something before my husband got too old to eat. 146 00:10:44,461 --> 00:10:46,940 40's the new 30. 147 00:10:46,941 --> 00:10:48,250 Ah, 40 is old. 148 00:10:48,251 --> 00:10:49,750 You're nearly 40 yourself. 149 00:10:49,751 --> 00:10:51,160 I will never be 40. 150 00:10:51,161 --> 00:10:53,220 - Magic potion? - Moisturiser. 151 00:10:53,221 --> 00:10:54,440 - Is that what it is? - Yeah. 152 00:10:54,441 --> 00:10:55,900 Yeah, that's what it is. 153 00:10:59,551 --> 00:11:03,070 So, Tom's worried that we're out of the house too much. 154 00:11:03,071 --> 00:11:04,570 He wants me home earlier. 155 00:11:05,601 --> 00:11:08,040 You haven't spoken to him about it, said anything? 156 00:11:08,041 --> 00:11:09,770 - What do you mean? - About my hours. 157 00:11:09,771 --> 00:11:11,600 Like being annoyed with them or anything? 158 00:11:11,601 --> 00:11:13,990 - He must have got it from somewhere. - No. 159 00:11:15,161 --> 00:11:17,510 OK. OK, fine. 160 00:11:20,371 --> 00:11:22,660 - Can you pack? - Absolutely. 161 00:11:22,661 --> 00:11:24,400 Do you know where your suitcase is? 162 00:11:24,401 --> 00:11:26,230 - In the loft. - No, it's in the wardrobe. 163 00:11:26,231 --> 00:11:28,430 Right. What am I getting for my birthday? 164 00:11:28,431 --> 00:11:31,620 A smack in the face if you ask that again! 165 00:11:39,211 --> 00:11:40,620 Well, congratulations. 166 00:11:40,621 --> 00:11:42,210 Cheers. Well, here's to you. 167 00:11:42,211 --> 00:11:44,130 - Cheers. Thank you. - Congratulations. 168 00:11:44,131 --> 00:11:46,060 Sorry I missed the reception. 169 00:11:47,181 --> 00:11:50,040 Well, you saw us getting married, that's the main thing. 170 00:11:50,041 --> 00:11:51,350 My speech was really funny. 171 00:11:52,431 --> 00:11:53,506 Loads of laughs. 172 00:11:53,507 --> 00:11:56,280 Which is not exactly what a groom is meant to be after. 173 00:11:56,281 --> 00:11:58,480 I still made you cry. Three times. 174 00:12:00,071 --> 00:12:02,140 So what's happening with school? 175 00:12:02,141 --> 00:12:03,820 Karen said it's permanent exclusion, 176 00:12:03,821 --> 00:12:05,600 but we're going to appeal the decision. 177 00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:06,820 So it goes to the governors? 178 00:12:06,821 --> 00:12:08,117 Well, generally, it's a fair process, 179 00:12:08,118 --> 00:12:10,100 but either way, we need a quick decision 180 00:12:10,101 --> 00:12:11,930 cos Tom's got his exams to think about. 181 00:12:11,931 --> 00:12:12,814 - Mm. - Tom? 182 00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:14,560 He won't have any problems with his exams. 183 00:12:14,561 --> 00:12:16,900 Don't say that, it's really hard work. 184 00:12:16,901 --> 00:12:18,210 He always works hard! 185 00:12:18,211 --> 00:12:19,430 Don't you? 186 00:12:23,101 --> 00:12:25,335 Well, look, the important thing 187 00:12:25,336 --> 00:12:28,490 is you two are back at home with friends. 188 00:12:28,491 --> 00:12:31,070 Let's start looking after each other now, OK? 189 00:12:32,291 --> 00:12:33,550 I'd like that. 190 00:12:37,541 --> 00:12:39,550 Is Simon still about? 191 00:12:39,551 --> 00:12:42,460 We're not going to see him again. 192 00:12:42,501 --> 00:12:45,510 - That's what Tom wants. - But he's staying at... ? 193 00:12:45,511 --> 00:12:48,690 - We don't know where he is. - What time we going home? 194 00:12:48,731 --> 00:12:50,150 When we've finished. 195 00:12:51,651 --> 00:12:55,540 Tom was saying he might move out next year. 196 00:12:55,541 --> 00:12:57,220 - Oh. - What?! Why? 197 00:12:57,221 --> 00:12:59,570 - It's a good idea. - Don't encourage him. 198 00:13:01,161 --> 00:13:02,520 He's 16, he's grown-up. 199 00:13:02,521 --> 00:13:04,820 Nearly 16 and where's he going to live? 200 00:13:04,821 --> 00:13:06,830 - Find a place, won't you? - Money? 201 00:13:06,831 --> 00:13:08,520 Get a job. 202 00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:10,070 Claim benefits. 203 00:13:11,241 --> 00:13:13,910 It's independence, people don't do it enough. 204 00:13:13,911 --> 00:13:16,260 Of course, you have to declare yourself homeless 205 00:13:16,261 --> 00:13:19,300 before the council will help you out. You'd rent, deposit. 206 00:13:19,301 --> 00:13:21,600 Technically, you need your parents' consent. 207 00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:24,320 And you have to work all the hours in the day, I'd imagine. 208 00:13:27,561 --> 00:13:29,150 I really want to go now. 209 00:13:34,631 --> 00:13:35,850 - Oh, God. - Call the police. 210 00:13:35,851 --> 00:13:37,210 No. 211 00:13:37,211 --> 00:13:39,560 - Want me to get rid of him? - I'll talk to him. 212 00:13:39,561 --> 00:13:41,060 No. OK, OK. 213 00:13:41,061 --> 00:13:43,170 - Just get rid of him. - It's OK. 214 00:13:43,171 --> 00:13:44,760 I'll go. You stay here. 215 00:13:55,171 --> 00:13:57,180 It should be me in there. 216 00:13:57,181 --> 00:13:59,981 - What? - It should be me with you and Tom, 217 00:13:59,982 --> 00:14:01,680 our friends, having dinner. 218 00:14:01,681 --> 00:14:04,450 - Right, well, I think you know why that... - It's possible. 219 00:14:04,451 --> 00:14:08,340 - The offer still stands. - You could just decide to forgive everything. 220 00:14:08,341 --> 00:14:10,640 - What?! - You're not the right one in this. 221 00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:12,230 We are as bad as each other. 222 00:14:12,231 --> 00:14:13,760 - No. - You told Kate 223 00:14:13,761 --> 00:14:15,320 I was trying to make her like you. 224 00:14:15,321 --> 00:14:17,356 You manipulated her, you took her away from me 225 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,170 and it wasn't for any good reason. 226 00:14:19,171 --> 00:14:21,180 - Tom wanted you gone. - It was revenge. 227 00:14:21,181 --> 00:14:23,200 It made you feel good to win, that's all it was. 228 00:14:23,201 --> 00:14:24,421 OK, how does this end, Simon? 229 00:14:24,422 --> 00:14:26,110 Because we're outside, it's late and... 230 00:14:26,111 --> 00:14:28,970 It ends with us admitting we both got it so wrong, 231 00:14:28,971 --> 00:14:30,190 letting it all go... 232 00:14:31,171 --> 00:14:32,530 ... and getting back together. 233 00:14:38,531 --> 00:14:40,059 - Don't be ridiculous. - We're attracted to each other, 234 00:14:40,060 --> 00:14:41,720 so that works. 235 00:14:41,721 --> 00:14:43,360 We can be his parents again. 236 00:14:45,471 --> 00:14:49,550 I'll get some job, earn a bit of money, but we give Tom stability. 237 00:14:49,551 --> 00:14:52,970 No. When it's just the three of us together it works, you know that. 238 00:14:55,171 --> 00:14:57,420 We could decide to be a family again. 239 00:14:58,731 --> 00:14:59,895 Forgive each other for the sake 240 00:14:59,896 --> 00:15:01,296 - of the rest of our lives. - Simon... 241 00:15:01,371 --> 00:15:02,385 It's not too late. 242 00:15:02,386 --> 00:15:04,170 I move back in, we just get on with it. 243 00:15:04,171 --> 00:15:05,819 It's been a bad couple of years, 244 00:15:05,820 --> 00:15:07,690 but we could be proud that we got him back on track. 245 00:15:07,691 --> 00:15:09,940 You think that we should get back together for the sake of Tom? 246 00:15:09,941 --> 00:15:12,470 - Not just Tom. - You think that that's in any way what he wants? 247 00:15:12,471 --> 00:15:13,830 It's what I want. 248 00:15:13,831 --> 00:15:16,170 I think you do too, really. 249 00:15:16,171 --> 00:15:17,390 Underneath. 250 00:15:20,161 --> 00:15:21,560 I brought you something. 251 00:15:22,881 --> 00:15:24,190 In... 252 00:15:24,191 --> 00:15:27,050 In this moment, my life is basically over, can you take this? 253 00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:28,220 - No. - Please. 254 00:15:29,771 --> 00:15:31,170 Please. 255 00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:34,320 Thank you. 256 00:15:39,141 --> 00:15:42,240 Sort yourself out and move on. 257 00:15:42,241 --> 00:15:44,300 - Your life isn't over. - I don't want to move on. 258 00:15:44,301 --> 00:15:46,130 We are never letting you back into our lives. 259 00:15:46,131 --> 00:15:47,910 - Gemma, please. - You're ruining my evening. 260 00:15:49,831 --> 00:15:52,180 How much is it going to take for you to go away? 261 00:15:52,181 --> 00:15:54,000 Fucking insulting. 262 00:15:54,001 --> 00:15:56,540 You don't have any idea what I'm feeling right now. 263 00:15:56,541 --> 00:15:57,990 I should choke you to death. 264 00:15:57,991 --> 00:16:01,260 One minute you say how easy it would be to get back together with us 265 00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:03,520 and the next minute you're saying you want to choke me to death? 266 00:16:03,521 --> 00:16:05,960 That's every family, because you care about them! 267 00:16:06,991 --> 00:16:08,870 You get what's happening? 268 00:16:08,871 --> 00:16:11,070 If you leave this, 269 00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:14,210 if you walk away, I will stab myself. 270 00:16:14,211 --> 00:16:16,830 - You want me to. - Simon, don't be stupid, I didn't mean that... 271 00:16:16,831 --> 00:16:18,990 Yeah, but you did, you did mean it. 272 00:16:25,131 --> 00:16:27,100 It's OK, it's all right. 273 00:16:27,101 --> 00:16:29,260 - Tom. - Can you come back inside, please? 274 00:16:29,261 --> 00:16:30,620 - Tom. - Mum? 275 00:16:32,071 --> 00:16:33,150 Yes. 276 00:16:34,511 --> 00:16:36,900 Mate, you just going to ignore me, then, like I don't exist? 277 00:16:37,981 --> 00:16:39,100 Tom... 278 00:16:42,521 --> 00:16:44,490 You tell yourself these stories about how 279 00:16:44,491 --> 00:16:46,792 you actually are a good dad or a good husband or whatever, 280 00:16:46,793 --> 00:16:48,380 and it's all total shit. 281 00:16:48,381 --> 00:16:50,770 The only way you get through life is by lying to yourself, 282 00:16:50,771 --> 00:16:53,540 because if you stopped, you'd realise you're a massive failure. 283 00:16:55,511 --> 00:16:57,200 That is the actual truth, isn't it? 284 00:17:00,531 --> 00:17:01,790 So we're done. 285 00:17:05,401 --> 00:17:06,620 YOU can go away now. 286 00:17:07,741 --> 00:17:09,150 Tom, come back inside. 287 00:17:13,041 --> 00:17:14,170 Tom... 288 00:17:34,141 --> 00:17:35,260 Thanks. 289 00:18:05,921 --> 00:18:08,170 You need to call the police. Get an order against him. 290 00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:09,620 He got the message this time. 291 00:18:09,621 --> 00:18:10,610 Tom... 292 00:18:11,781 --> 00:18:13,090 Tom was very clear. 293 00:18:14,031 --> 00:18:15,250 Good. 294 00:18:16,881 --> 00:18:18,720 Look, I'm glad you called tonight. 295 00:18:18,721 --> 00:18:21,720 You left before I had a chance to give this to you. 296 00:18:21,721 --> 00:18:24,200 Maybe now let's call it a welcome home present. 297 00:18:24,201 --> 00:18:26,500 - Present? - We can have a new start. 298 00:18:27,671 --> 00:18:28,800 Some new things. 299 00:18:30,861 --> 00:18:31,990 Oh, wow. 300 00:18:34,241 --> 00:18:35,270 Oh, my God. 301 00:18:36,581 --> 00:18:38,270 Want to try them on? 302 00:18:39,811 --> 00:18:41,270 Um... 303 00:18:49,101 --> 00:18:50,270 You like? 304 00:18:52,281 --> 00:18:53,550 I love them. 305 00:19:05,131 --> 00:19:06,540 - I might just get some water. - Sure. 306 00:19:30,261 --> 00:19:32,130 You never talk about your mum and dad. 307 00:19:32,131 --> 00:19:33,400 I thought you were asleep. 308 00:19:35,411 --> 00:19:39,070 I know they died in a car accident when you were a teenager. 309 00:19:40,381 --> 00:19:41,550 Yeah. 310 00:19:43,011 --> 00:19:45,120 16. About your age. 311 00:19:45,121 --> 00:19:49,010 Right. But apart from that, I don't know anything. 312 00:19:49,011 --> 00:19:51,960 - What did they do? - Dad was a lecturer in history 313 00:19:51,961 --> 00:19:54,070 and Mum worked in a nursing home. 314 00:19:55,481 --> 00:19:56,410 Did you like them? 315 00:19:57,491 --> 00:20:00,910 - I loved them. - Were they together and loved you? 316 00:20:03,541 --> 00:20:05,320 I think so. 317 00:20:05,361 --> 00:20:06,260 Yeah. 318 00:20:07,481 --> 00:20:10,290 Well, I think that even though they died, you were luckier than me. 319 00:20:15,961 --> 00:20:18,540 - Dad won't ever stop. - He understood. 320 00:20:18,541 --> 00:20:19,900 Tonight. 321 00:20:21,031 --> 00:20:22,390 It's hard, I know, but... 322 00:20:23,561 --> 00:20:25,480 - ... it's what you were feeling and perhaps... - No, 323 00:20:25,481 --> 00:20:28,850 even if he goes away for a bit, he could come back at any time. 324 00:20:28,851 --> 00:20:31,340 You read stories about dads who can't see their kids. 325 00:20:31,341 --> 00:20:33,640 They set the house on fire or get a knife. 326 00:20:33,641 --> 00:20:35,750 - He wouldn't do any of that. - Yeah, he would. 327 00:20:35,751 --> 00:20:38,320 You already thought that if Kate left him and he lost the house, 328 00:20:38,321 --> 00:20:41,040 - he'd just give up. - I hoped he'd just... leave. 329 00:20:43,531 --> 00:20:44,980 Start again. 330 00:20:47,561 --> 00:20:49,110 You didn't just want to hurt him? 331 00:20:50,421 --> 00:20:51,590 No. 332 00:20:53,331 --> 00:20:54,360 Punish him? 333 00:20:55,391 --> 00:20:56,560 I wanted him gone. 334 00:20:58,671 --> 00:21:00,450 But if you're asking do I feel guilty... 335 00:21:01,621 --> 00:21:02,940 I didn't start this. 336 00:21:04,061 --> 00:21:06,690 We were fine before he came back and started bullying me 337 00:21:06,691 --> 00:21:08,050 and trying to take you away. 338 00:21:08,051 --> 00:21:10,440 All I did was tell people the truth about him. 339 00:21:44,421 --> 00:21:46,300 Did you talk to Tom? 340 00:21:48,221 --> 00:21:51,970 Yeah. I asked him if he was worried about the hours we're doing. 341 00:21:54,131 --> 00:21:56,380 He said... 342 00:22:00,551 --> 00:22:03,550 He said sometimes he thinks you're not listening. 343 00:22:03,551 --> 00:22:05,890 You're... thinking about work. 344 00:22:07,111 --> 00:22:10,440 Sometimes he wishes you were a bit softer with him. 345 00:22:13,631 --> 00:22:14,610 Wow. 346 00:22:15,601 --> 00:22:16,630 OK. 347 00:22:17,851 --> 00:22:19,250 What did you say? 348 00:22:19,251 --> 00:22:21,740 That you weren't just his mum. 349 00:22:21,741 --> 00:22:23,421 You had a job. 350 00:22:23,422 --> 00:22:25,441 Responsibility for a lot of people. 351 00:22:25,442 --> 00:22:28,201 He was lucky you were so talented and in demand. 352 00:22:30,882 --> 00:22:31,911 Right. 353 00:22:33,222 --> 00:22:34,671 You're a brilliant mum. 354 00:22:43,442 --> 00:22:44,751 Love you. 355 00:22:46,442 --> 00:22:47,571 Do you want this? 356 00:22:49,252 --> 00:22:51,930 - Why? - So that when we're old and unhappy 357 00:22:51,931 --> 00:22:53,661 and in there watching TV all day, 358 00:22:53,662 --> 00:22:56,001 you can remember that once upon a time, we had fun. 359 00:22:59,052 --> 00:23:01,071 Let's never get old and unhappy. 360 00:23:02,712 --> 00:23:04,161 Deal. 361 00:24:15,982 --> 00:24:17,201 Tom? 362 00:24:30,142 --> 00:24:32,061 - What's going on? - Tom's not here. 363 00:24:32,062 --> 00:24:34,361 I just heard a car leaving. 364 00:24:39,282 --> 00:24:41,571 Do you think he's... ? He was talking about moving. 365 00:24:42,692 --> 00:24:45,371 No, he'd... plan for that, take his things. 366 00:24:46,452 --> 00:24:48,931 Simon's taken him somehow, he's made him go. 367 00:24:48,932 --> 00:24:50,835 Taken him? Come on, 368 00:24:50,836 --> 00:24:52,451 it's not like Simon could have physically made him. 369 00:24:52,452 --> 00:24:55,031 - Threatened him or... - He's probably gone off with some friends, 370 00:24:55,032 --> 00:24:57,141 some crisis he's having in the middle of the night. 371 00:24:57,142 --> 00:24:58,971 He doesn't have any friends at the moment. 372 00:25:00,942 --> 00:25:02,163 Why are you taking that? 373 00:25:02,164 --> 00:25:04,641 In case something's happened to Tom. 374 00:25:04,642 --> 00:25:07,031 - Hey, come here, you need to stop and think. - Let go of me. 375 00:25:09,372 --> 00:25:11,441 Why don't you stay here, call around, I'll find Tom. 376 00:25:11,442 --> 00:25:13,731 You think I'm going to let anyone stop me from getting my son? 377 00:25:13,772 --> 00:25:15,001 - Just calm down. - Calm down? 378 00:25:15,002 --> 00:25:17,481 - I'm not letting you do this. - Nobody tells me what to do. 379 00:25:17,482 --> 00:25:19,971 Tom was right, I messed you around time and time again 380 00:25:19,972 --> 00:25:22,361 - and you just keep on coming back. - I don't mind that. 381 00:25:22,362 --> 00:25:24,191 I think ultimately you like fixing me. 382 00:25:24,192 --> 00:25:25,411 - No. - Bird with a broken wing. 383 00:25:25,412 --> 00:25:26,671 No, Gemma, I LIKE you, Gemma. 384 00:25:26,672 --> 00:25:28,131 I'm not broken. 385 00:25:29,862 --> 00:25:34,031 Sorry. We're not working and it needs to stop. 386 00:25:36,562 --> 00:25:38,441 I'll stay here in case he comes back. 387 00:25:39,892 --> 00:25:40,921 Thank you. 388 00:26:03,852 --> 00:26:04,971 Tom? 389 00:26:04,972 --> 00:26:06,941 - Dad, that's mine. - Tom! 390 00:26:06,942 --> 00:26:09,141 Give it back. Give it back! 391 00:26:09,142 --> 00:26:10,881 Leave us alone. 392 00:26:10,882 --> 00:26:13,321 - What the fuck are you doing? - Leave us alone. 393 00:26:16,412 --> 00:26:18,151 Please don't hurt him. 394 00:26:18,152 --> 00:26:20,161 Dad. Dad! 395 00:26:20,162 --> 00:26:21,471 Just please don't... 396 00:26:51,762 --> 00:26:55,551 - Morning. - Hi, my husband is staying here, Simon Foster. 397 00:26:55,552 --> 00:26:57,851 - Do you have his room number? - Husband? 398 00:26:57,852 --> 00:26:59,401 Foster. 399 00:26:59,402 --> 00:27:00,746 - I thought it was... - When I was here before, 400 00:27:00,747 --> 00:27:02,161 I used my maiden name. 401 00:27:03,522 --> 00:27:05,211 We don't have a Foster, I'm afraid. 402 00:27:05,212 --> 00:27:06,851 He's with my son. 403 00:27:06,852 --> 00:27:09,661 There can't be that many men checking in with a teenager. 404 00:27:11,402 --> 00:27:12,851 This is urgent. 405 00:27:17,772 --> 00:27:19,181 - 137. - Thank you. 406 00:27:25,132 --> 00:27:26,261 Tom? 407 00:28:27,722 --> 00:28:29,121 Tom! 408 00:28:31,052 --> 00:28:32,501 Hey! 409 00:28:33,912 --> 00:28:36,161 He said... he said he felt like killing himself. 410 00:28:36,162 --> 00:28:38,831 And there was a taxi outside and if I didn't get in it, he would. 411 00:28:40,942 --> 00:28:42,111 OK. 412 00:28:42,112 --> 00:28:44,038 Tom, go up the bank. 413 00:28:46,519 --> 00:28:49,148 - Mum... - To the top, where it's safer. 414 00:28:53,879 --> 00:28:58,198 God, Simon. If a car hits you, then it could kill them, too. 415 00:29:00,399 --> 00:29:02,878 Jesus. Simon, please. Just... 416 00:29:02,879 --> 00:29:04,848 Just come away from the traffic! 417 00:29:04,849 --> 00:29:06,258 Please... 418 00:29:07,239 --> 00:29:08,878 We can talk. 419 00:29:10,379 --> 00:29:12,958 I wanted to talk to him, but even when I'm feeling like this 420 00:29:12,959 --> 00:29:17,088 he went at me. Now he's just watching his shit dad. 421 00:29:17,089 --> 00:29:19,708 Yes, and if a car hits you, what he sees will scar him forever. 422 00:29:19,709 --> 00:29:21,398 Don't argue with me! 423 00:29:21,399 --> 00:29:23,809 All right. But now it has. 424 00:29:23,810 --> 00:29:25,998 You can't stop arguing with me, contradicting me. 425 00:29:27,309 --> 00:29:29,507 - Let go of me. - Jesus, Simon! 426 00:29:29,508 --> 00:29:31,298 - Mum! - Tom, no! 427 00:29:32,499 --> 00:29:34,008 Simon, please. 428 00:29:40,059 --> 00:29:43,198 OK. Look, we can talk. 429 00:29:46,199 --> 00:29:48,068 Look at me. 430 00:29:48,069 --> 00:29:49,388 Simon! 431 00:30:10,109 --> 00:30:11,368 Not like this. 432 00:30:12,919 --> 00:30:14,278 Not like this. 433 00:30:20,049 --> 00:30:22,198 Are you OK? 434 00:30:32,279 --> 00:30:33,548 Simon... 435 00:30:43,249 --> 00:30:44,608 What did you say? 436 00:30:44,649 --> 00:30:46,808 We're going to get some food. 437 00:30:46,809 --> 00:30:49,298 - Food? - He said he wanted us to eat together. 438 00:30:49,299 --> 00:30:51,218 As a family and I... 439 00:30:52,489 --> 00:30:53,848 I said OK. 440 00:31:15,639 --> 00:31:17,138 Morning, how we all doing? 441 00:31:17,139 --> 00:31:18,548 Good, thanks. 442 00:31:18,589 --> 00:31:20,798 OK, excellent. Can I get you any drinks to start? 443 00:31:20,799 --> 00:31:22,768 - Coffee? - Just some water. 444 00:31:22,769 --> 00:31:24,648 - Jolly good. Sir? - A beer. 445 00:31:25,819 --> 00:31:27,408 You... Sure? 446 00:31:27,409 --> 00:31:30,508 - Um, we have... - Actually, could you do a whiskey and Coke? 447 00:31:30,509 --> 00:31:31,858 Absolutely. Jack Daniel's? 448 00:31:31,859 --> 00:31:34,348 - Jack Daniel's. - All righty. 449 00:31:34,349 --> 00:31:35,798 We only have Pepsi, is that OK? 450 00:31:35,799 --> 00:31:37,858 Double. Double whiskey and Coke. 451 00:31:37,859 --> 00:31:41,048 No problem, I'll be back in a moment to take your food order. 452 00:31:47,849 --> 00:31:49,578 Where are you going to go? 453 00:31:53,659 --> 00:31:55,068 Back to London? 454 00:31:56,899 --> 00:31:58,258 Maybe. 455 00:32:00,929 --> 00:32:02,428 You never liked it there. 456 00:32:05,239 --> 00:32:06,408 No. 457 00:32:07,399 --> 00:32:09,318 You'll sort stuff out, you will. 458 00:32:09,319 --> 00:32:11,098 You know people, you'll find a job. 459 00:32:11,099 --> 00:32:12,978 And you'll find somewhere to stay. 460 00:32:14,479 --> 00:32:16,208 You hate us anyway, so... 461 00:32:16,209 --> 00:32:17,568 I don't hate you. 462 00:32:21,039 --> 00:32:24,418 Kate's just angry. I'm sure you'll be able to see Amelie eventually. 463 00:32:27,129 --> 00:32:28,448 I don't think so, mate. 464 00:32:33,779 --> 00:32:37,308 Why did you want this? We're all just sitting here feeling shit. 465 00:32:37,309 --> 00:32:39,928 What did you think was going to happen? 466 00:32:44,199 --> 00:32:46,208 Jack Daniel's and Pepsi. 467 00:32:47,999 --> 00:32:48,978 Water. 468 00:32:52,209 --> 00:32:53,758 Can I take your food order? 469 00:32:53,759 --> 00:32:55,398 Some toast. 470 00:32:55,399 --> 00:32:56,898 Any marmalade, jam? 471 00:32:56,899 --> 00:32:59,058 - Fine. - Yeah, toast. 472 00:32:59,059 --> 00:33:01,168 Sir, some toast for you as well? 473 00:33:07,539 --> 00:33:09,228 Shall I come back in a moment? 474 00:33:11,339 --> 00:33:13,778 - Should I... ? - He'll have an English breakfast. 475 00:33:15,279 --> 00:33:19,168 Poached egg, two bacon, sausage and hash brown. 476 00:33:19,169 --> 00:33:21,188 And he'll want some English mustard. 477 00:33:22,499 --> 00:33:23,898 And some brown sauce, too. 478 00:33:23,899 --> 00:33:25,548 Sure. 479 00:33:36,189 --> 00:33:39,418 I hate myself. I hate what I've done. 480 00:33:39,419 --> 00:33:40,828 I hate the entire world. 481 00:33:40,829 --> 00:33:44,248 You've no idea. I hope you never feel what I'm feeling now. 482 00:33:49,359 --> 00:33:51,138 Did he tell you what I said? 483 00:33:51,139 --> 00:33:53,198 Why he left you and went with me? 484 00:33:53,199 --> 00:33:55,078 - No. - You want to know? 485 00:33:55,079 --> 00:33:57,518 - It doesn't matter. - Look, Tom, she's desperate. 486 00:33:57,519 --> 00:33:59,348 She can't bear not knowing things. 487 00:34:01,739 --> 00:34:04,218 You thought about it so much, you must have guessed. 488 00:34:04,219 --> 00:34:05,628 I worked it out yesterday. 489 00:34:05,629 --> 00:34:08,388 I assume you went back on all the assurances YOU gave me 490 00:34:08,389 --> 00:34:10,498 that you would protect my relationship with my son. 491 00:34:10,499 --> 00:34:13,218 It was important he knew what you were capable of. Mum... 492 00:34:13,219 --> 00:34:14,528 I was depressed. 493 00:34:20,209 --> 00:34:21,974 I don't know if Dad mentioned the reason 494 00:34:21,975 --> 00:34:23,936 why I left you on your own as a baby, 495 00:34:23,959 --> 00:34:26,818 it was because I had postnatal depression. 496 00:34:28,129 --> 00:34:29,438 But I got better. 497 00:34:30,789 --> 00:34:32,348 I assumed, 498 00:34:32,349 --> 00:34:34,408 even given everything, 499 00:34:34,409 --> 00:34:38,208 your dad understood the difference between character and illness. 500 00:34:38,209 --> 00:34:41,158 It didn't occur to me that he would tell you about it 501 00:34:41,159 --> 00:34:43,828 because I couldn't imagine the psychology 502 00:34:43,829 --> 00:34:46,038 of someone who would do that. 503 00:34:48,209 --> 00:34:50,368 Who would hold that against you. 504 00:34:51,069 --> 00:34:52,808 - You wanted me dead. - No. 505 00:34:52,809 --> 00:34:54,208 - But you said. - I just... 506 00:34:54,209 --> 00:34:55,598 - I couldn't cope. - Hoped I would die? 507 00:34:55,599 --> 00:34:57,238 - No! - You did. 508 00:34:57,239 --> 00:34:58,928 - Simon! - You've forgotten. 509 00:34:58,929 --> 00:35:00,658 You did say it and you meant it. 510 00:35:00,659 --> 00:35:03,898 I heard it at the time. I never said anything and never reminded you. 511 00:35:03,899 --> 00:35:05,258 Until now. 512 00:35:05,259 --> 00:35:07,598 Dad said he had to quit his career so he could look after me. 513 00:35:07,599 --> 00:35:09,288 His career? What career?! 514 00:35:09,289 --> 00:35:11,958 To let him stay at home so you could work for the better. 515 00:35:11,959 --> 00:35:13,548 Oh, you just say things, don't you? 516 00:35:13,549 --> 00:35:15,148 That you preferred work to me. 517 00:35:15,149 --> 00:35:17,018 You want to stand by that now? 518 00:35:17,019 --> 00:35:18,708 But you do work a lot. 519 00:35:18,709 --> 00:35:20,908 I remember growing up, you were always out. 520 00:35:20,909 --> 00:35:23,868 Even since Dad left, it's not like you've tried to talk to me much. 521 00:35:23,869 --> 00:35:26,628 I mean, with your buildings and more patients and more doctors, 522 00:35:26,629 --> 00:35:29,258 - and I think it's because... - Because I believe in what I do! 523 00:35:29,259 --> 00:35:30,708 Because you want to avoid me! 524 00:35:30,709 --> 00:35:32,958 I'm good at what I do and I work hard. 525 00:35:35,069 --> 00:35:38,868 But I've also, despite everything, been a good mum and I... 526 00:35:38,869 --> 00:35:41,118 I think, one day, 527 00:35:41,119 --> 00:35:42,758 you will realise that. 528 00:35:49,179 --> 00:35:50,958 I think the only way, Tom, 529 00:35:50,959 --> 00:35:54,198 that I have failed you is in my choice of your father. 530 00:35:55,419 --> 00:35:59,348 And the fact that on that night when I should have been helping you, 531 00:35:59,349 --> 00:36:02,208 I went back to him, and I hate myself for that. 532 00:36:02,209 --> 00:36:05,028 I will regret it forever. 533 00:36:07,699 --> 00:36:10,698 At least I know that I've always loved you. 534 00:36:12,719 --> 00:36:15,948 I've always tried to protect you. 535 00:36:15,949 --> 00:36:18,428 So if you want to hate me, you hate me for the last two years, 536 00:36:18,429 --> 00:36:22,278 but before that, before your dad broke it, I was a really good mum. 537 00:36:36,719 --> 00:36:38,028 Excuse me. 538 00:36:38,029 --> 00:36:40,608 - Mum! - I'll be back in a minute. You stay here. 539 00:38:16,756 --> 00:38:18,535 It's done. 540 00:38:18,536 --> 00:38:19,945 As agreed. 541 00:38:19,946 --> 00:38:21,725 Thanks. 542 00:38:21,726 --> 00:38:23,365 What do you mean? 543 00:38:28,336 --> 00:38:29,795 I'm... 544 00:38:29,796 --> 00:38:32,325 paying for the room a few days. 545 00:38:32,326 --> 00:38:34,295 So your dad can... 546 00:38:34,296 --> 00:38:36,305 sort things out. 547 00:38:40,766 --> 00:38:42,075 So this is it. 548 00:38:43,246 --> 00:38:44,415 What? 549 00:38:51,776 --> 00:38:53,835 I'm never going to see you again. 550 00:38:57,916 --> 00:38:59,085 Live a good life. 551 00:39:00,356 --> 00:39:01,805 I'm... 552 00:39:04,246 --> 00:39:05,935 I'm really sorry for everything. 553 00:39:07,296 --> 00:39:08,555 You mum's right. 554 00:39:10,436 --> 00:39:12,265 All that stuff I said, I was angry. 555 00:39:12,306 --> 00:39:14,605 She didn't work too hard. 556 00:39:16,766 --> 00:39:19,055 I found it difficult to stay in one job. 557 00:39:20,326 --> 00:39:22,435 To put up with the boss, is the truth. 558 00:39:24,216 --> 00:39:26,885 She loves you so much, she's never let you down. 559 00:39:28,486 --> 00:39:30,635 I'm the problem in our family, I always have been, 560 00:39:30,636 --> 00:39:32,325 so you're absolutely right, Tom. 561 00:39:32,326 --> 00:39:34,815 You're so much better without me, 562 00:39:34,816 --> 00:39:36,545 and when I've gone... 563 00:39:37,856 --> 00:39:41,045 ... I think you'll feel a bit sad, but not for long. I think... 564 00:39:49,016 --> 00:39:52,535 When my dad died, I just felt relief. 565 00:39:52,536 --> 00:39:55,015 That I didn't have to worry about him any more. 566 00:39:56,566 --> 00:39:57,994 That I didn't have to try to predict 567 00:39:57,995 --> 00:39:59,845 in what way he'd ruin my life next. 568 00:40:02,046 --> 00:40:06,075 When he died, I cried, but within an hour, I felt so much better. 569 00:40:08,046 --> 00:40:10,725 That does happen, it can. 570 00:40:10,726 --> 00:40:12,685 I think you're going to feel that about me. 571 00:40:14,006 --> 00:40:15,685 You're not going to die. 572 00:40:15,686 --> 00:40:18,405 Well, I might as well because you're never going to see me again. 573 00:40:18,406 --> 00:40:21,975 That's what you want, isn't it? You've had enough of me. 574 00:40:29,846 --> 00:40:31,445 You ought to be a doctor. 575 00:40:32,616 --> 00:40:34,155 Wh... what? 576 00:40:34,156 --> 00:40:35,655 It's a job. 577 00:40:35,656 --> 00:40:38,335 I thought you liked the idea of being a doctor like your mum. 578 00:40:39,416 --> 00:40:40,865 Well, I don't know. 579 00:40:40,866 --> 00:40:42,975 You should. You'd be so good at it. 580 00:40:45,776 --> 00:40:47,095 Forget about me, I'm... 581 00:40:47,096 --> 00:40:49,065 I'm just shit, I'm... 582 00:40:49,066 --> 00:40:50,615 I'm really just shit. 583 00:40:56,526 --> 00:40:57,975 Enough? 584 00:41:17,196 --> 00:41:18,465 Bye, Dad. 585 00:41:23,526 --> 00:41:24,975 Bye, Tom. 586 00:41:30,276 --> 00:41:31,865 Follow the instructions. 587 00:44:10,086 --> 00:44:12,095 I just want to say a few things. 588 00:44:13,416 --> 00:44:15,705 Don't worry, I'm not going to take this away. 589 00:44:15,706 --> 00:44:17,305 When I'm finished, do what you like. 590 00:44:17,306 --> 00:44:19,555 This is just some small print that I need to get through. 591 00:44:19,556 --> 00:44:21,525 - I don't want to hear it. - I don't care what you want. 592 00:44:21,526 --> 00:44:23,725 I'm the one who'll have to live with our son in agony 593 00:44:23,726 --> 00:44:25,315 because his father killed himself. 594 00:44:25,316 --> 00:44:27,805 I'm the one he'll probably blame for that his whole life, 595 00:44:27,806 --> 00:44:31,085 so I don't think that I'm out of order trying to have my say. 596 00:44:34,276 --> 00:44:35,535 Sit down. 597 00:44:43,976 --> 00:44:47,255 After my parents died in the car crash, 598 00:44:47,256 --> 00:44:50,075 for a long time I just... took that at its word. 599 00:44:51,436 --> 00:44:53,635 "Car crash" covers quite a lot of things, 600 00:44:53,636 --> 00:44:57,435 and for some strange reason I wanted to know how they actually died. 601 00:44:58,796 --> 00:45:01,975 They went under a lorry and the roof of their car caved in on them 602 00:45:01,976 --> 00:45:03,435 and crushed their heads. 603 00:45:05,776 --> 00:45:08,825 It will have been utterly terrifying, 604 00:45:08,826 --> 00:45:10,835 incredibly painful, 605 00:45:10,836 --> 00:45:12,245 and not instant. 606 00:45:15,436 --> 00:45:17,635 I think that's why I became a doctor. 607 00:45:18,996 --> 00:45:21,715 Maybe if I'd been there, maybe I could have done something. 608 00:45:21,716 --> 00:45:23,125 Probably not, but who knows? 609 00:45:25,656 --> 00:45:28,085 This won't be instant, either. 610 00:45:28,086 --> 00:45:30,625 Because there is no painless way to die. 611 00:45:31,746 --> 00:45:35,173 And the truth is, we don't know exactly what it feels like, 612 00:45:35,174 --> 00:45:37,003 but we do know that it'll be nasty. 613 00:45:37,004 --> 00:45:39,723 And once you do it, you will be over. 614 00:45:39,724 --> 00:45:42,253 There is no coming back, you will just stop. 615 00:45:49,704 --> 00:45:51,533 I thought about taking my own life. 616 00:45:53,594 --> 00:45:54,623 In the middle of... 617 00:45:55,704 --> 00:45:56,873 ... everything. 618 00:45:56,874 --> 00:45:59,783 I left Tom with you, do you remember? 619 00:45:59,784 --> 00:46:02,033 You called me, I was by the sea. 620 00:46:02,034 --> 00:46:04,843 After I hung up on you, I walked into the water. 621 00:46:06,724 --> 00:46:08,223 Because I wanted to drown. 622 00:46:09,914 --> 00:46:13,943 But I stopped myself because I knew that it wasn't fair on Tom. 623 00:46:18,864 --> 00:46:21,673 I grew up without my parents. I needed them and... 624 00:46:23,274 --> 00:46:24,863 ... they weren't there. 625 00:46:31,804 --> 00:46:33,963 You know, a few days ago I thought... 626 00:46:35,554 --> 00:46:37,853 ... maybe you can't help yourself. 627 00:46:37,854 --> 00:46:39,913 Everything that you've done. 628 00:46:39,914 --> 00:46:42,353 Maybe you have an illness of some kind. 629 00:46:42,354 --> 00:46:44,273 - I don't. - No, I don't think you do. 630 00:46:45,724 --> 00:46:47,083 No excuses. 631 00:46:47,084 --> 00:46:48,863 Agreed. 632 00:46:50,794 --> 00:46:52,003 Either way... 633 00:46:55,474 --> 00:46:56,883 Don't do this. 634 00:46:59,464 --> 00:47:02,613 Tom doesn't realise it at the moment, but he needs you. 635 00:47:03,864 --> 00:47:04,873 Then why did you... 636 00:47:07,014 --> 00:47:08,463 You were quick to offer THIS. 637 00:47:08,464 --> 00:47:10,473 I had to get you off that motorway. 638 00:47:10,474 --> 00:47:12,723 The thought was already there, you... 639 00:47:12,724 --> 00:47:15,073 You just happened to have the right drugs in your bag? 640 00:47:15,074 --> 00:47:18,303 I put them in there when you took Tom away. 641 00:47:19,714 --> 00:47:20,983 Just in case. 642 00:47:20,984 --> 00:47:22,523 What do you mean? 643 00:47:27,124 --> 00:47:28,523 A weapon, I suppose. 644 00:47:32,654 --> 00:47:34,483 I am never losing him. 645 00:47:37,904 --> 00:47:41,883 If you're desperate I don't do it, why don't you take them away, then? 646 00:47:41,884 --> 00:47:43,813 Because you nearly caused a car crash, 647 00:47:43,814 --> 00:47:46,433 - at least this way you'll only kill yourself. - Do you forgive me? 648 00:47:49,484 --> 00:47:51,073 I won't ever forgive you. 649 00:47:54,174 --> 00:47:57,313 But we will both probably start to forget. 650 00:48:02,884 --> 00:48:04,293 And that's enough. 651 00:48:15,404 --> 00:48:16,533 Simon. 652 00:48:38,514 --> 00:48:40,113 Don't do this. 653 00:48:57,364 --> 00:48:59,333 The offer's still there? 654 00:48:59,334 --> 00:49:01,533 A few days to get back on my feet. 655 00:49:06,504 --> 00:49:07,953 Then take them. 656 00:49:07,954 --> 00:49:09,593 - What? - Take them. 657 00:49:09,594 --> 00:49:11,003 Take them with you. 658 00:49:33,494 --> 00:49:35,003 Bye, Simon. 659 00:49:37,114 --> 00:49:38,333 Bye. 660 00:50:07,304 --> 00:50:08,293 Hey! 661 00:50:09,504 --> 00:50:10,963 - Wait. - Oh... 662 00:50:12,184 --> 00:50:14,713 Oh, thanks. Never without that. 663 00:50:32,104 --> 00:50:33,883 Doctor Angeles? 664 00:50:36,234 --> 00:50:37,633 You wanted your bill. 665 00:50:40,264 --> 00:50:41,523 Thanks. 666 00:50:41,524 --> 00:50:44,383 Could you put my card on file? I'll pay for the week. 667 00:50:44,424 --> 00:50:45,743 Sure. 668 00:50:50,014 --> 00:50:52,073 You have three new messages. 669 00:50:52,074 --> 00:50:53,953 First new message. 670 00:50:53,954 --> 00:50:55,453 Gemma, it's Karen. 671 00:50:55,454 --> 00:50:57,793 The governors have upheld your appeal. 672 00:50:57,794 --> 00:50:59,663 If you could give me a call, 673 00:50:59,664 --> 00:51:03,463 we can talk about how and when Tom should come back to school. Thanks. 674 00:51:03,464 --> 00:51:07,403 Message deleted. You have two new messages. 675 00:51:07,404 --> 00:51:09,093 Next new message. 676 00:51:09,094 --> 00:51:11,153 Gemma, hi, it's Sian. 677 00:51:11,154 --> 00:51:13,873 I hear you're coming back and I just wanted to say 678 00:51:13,874 --> 00:51:16,123 that I'm really pleased it's all sorted out. 679 00:51:16,124 --> 00:51:19,313 When you're ready, call me and maybe we can go for a drink. 680 00:51:19,314 --> 00:51:20,953 OK, bye. 681 00:51:20,954 --> 00:51:23,063 Message deleted. 682 00:51:24,744 --> 00:51:27,603 You have one new message. 683 00:51:27,604 --> 00:51:29,013 Next message... 684 00:51:43,404 --> 00:51:45,970 _ 685 00:51:59,674 --> 00:52:02,673 And the moment the blood rushes down out of your head... 686 00:52:06,334 --> 00:52:07,833 ... it's like suddenly falling, 687 00:52:07,834 --> 00:52:09,983 like something giving way. 688 00:52:14,064 --> 00:52:16,313 It's not like shock. 689 00:52:16,314 --> 00:52:18,943 Because there's the horror that somehow you knew... 690 00:52:20,394 --> 00:52:22,453 ... underneath, 691 00:52:22,454 --> 00:52:23,913 without realising. 692 00:52:25,594 --> 00:52:27,943 The horror that this terrible thing was there. 693 00:52:29,634 --> 00:52:31,973 Obvious the whole time, 694 00:52:31,974 --> 00:52:33,473 and you didn't see it. 695 00:52:35,024 --> 00:52:36,473 Tom! 696 00:52:43,784 --> 00:52:45,523 Hi. Excuse me? 697 00:52:46,644 --> 00:52:48,193 Have you seen my son? 698 00:52:48,194 --> 00:52:49,883 I've lost my son. 699 00:52:49,884 --> 00:52:51,523 His name's Tom, he's... He's 15. 700 00:52:51,524 --> 00:52:52,833 No, we haven't seen him. 701 00:52:52,834 --> 00:52:55,603 Go and stand back up the bank. We'll attend to you in a minute. 702 00:52:55,604 --> 00:52:59,583 And you know that now there's no repair. 703 00:53:00,754 --> 00:53:02,213 No going back. 704 00:53:02,214 --> 00:53:04,083 Whatever life you had, 705 00:53:04,084 --> 00:53:07,223 whatever fight you thought was important, now looks so naive. 706 00:53:07,224 --> 00:53:09,893 Mum, I'm going. 707 00:53:09,894 --> 00:53:13,603 I was going to move out anyway, but I've had enough of Dad and you, 708 00:53:13,604 --> 00:53:15,333 and not knowing, and... 709 00:53:15,334 --> 00:53:18,003 I've got no school, no friends left. 710 00:53:18,004 --> 00:53:21,383 I hate myself. I just want to start again. 711 00:53:21,384 --> 00:53:24,103 You went off at 17, you did all right. 712 00:53:25,324 --> 00:53:26,913 You won't see me again. 713 00:53:28,694 --> 00:53:30,663 It'll be better, I think. 714 00:53:34,884 --> 00:53:36,103 Love you. 715 00:54:32,594 --> 00:54:34,653 What you thought had been the fight 716 00:54:34,654 --> 00:54:36,483 was merely the warning. 717 00:54:47,124 --> 00:54:50,313 Your biggest fear was nothing compared to this. 718 00:54:52,814 --> 00:54:56,314 _ 719 00:54:57,344 --> 00:55:00,253 The weeks go past and people say it will get better... 720 00:55:02,224 --> 00:55:03,673 ... but it doesn't. 721 00:55:06,434 --> 00:55:10,233 You do everything anyone could, but somehow you know it's done. 722 00:55:10,234 --> 00:55:12,113 It's happened. Too late. 723 00:55:13,424 --> 00:55:14,783 He's gone. 724 00:55:18,784 --> 00:55:20,770 _ 725 00:55:24,534 --> 00:55:27,533 You go over the past, what you did, what you said. 726 00:55:27,534 --> 00:55:30,203 Again and again and again. 727 00:55:32,174 --> 00:55:33,763 What should you have done? 728 00:55:39,674 --> 00:55:42,023 Did you get it wrong from the start? 729 00:55:44,034 --> 00:55:45,583 Hello, Mrs Roberts... 730 00:55:56,504 --> 00:55:58,333 You'll never stop going over it. 731 00:55:59,694 --> 00:56:02,173 And in the end, all you can say is... 732 00:56:03,024 --> 00:56:04,193 I'm here. 733 00:56:05,784 --> 00:56:07,613 Tom, I'm your mum. 734 00:56:08,974 --> 00:56:09,984 I'm sorry 735 00:56:11,085 --> 00:56:12,584 and I'm here. 736 00:56:14,975 --> 00:56:16,804 I'll always be here waiting. 737 00:56:18,255 --> 00:56:19,844 When you want to come back. 738 00:56:22,665 --> 00:56:24,864 Whenever you want to come back.