_
So I came here to help James,
'cause he's your son.
Felipe Guillermo Usted, County Coroner?
Hold issuance of these death certificates for two days,
or you could go to prison.
I got to get my hands on those bodies
before they're toxic as shit.
And it better be tomorrow, my man.
Whatcha thinking?
About the vehicle hauler hitting your parents situation.
For the funeral?
You caused violence, New Leaf.
Now, give me the gun.
Fishing?
Yeah. With Everly.
He never mentioned that.
He was drunk for most of it.
We need your help.
- I'm getting married. - Who to?
Lonnie Sholes.
Lonnie's homosexual.
"Certified muff diver".
He used to wear it... from time to time...
Thanks, Dave.
A child named Theresa Sincere Williams.
Texan. And murder victim.
She loved magic.
The only person I ever met who loved magic as much as me.
And something terrible happened to her.
I think she drowned, man, just...
just trying to be good at it.
Wesley. It's time to go.
I'll give you one more day.
Why don't you come back down.
I need to take that thing off your leg now.
Get the old man back, or I'm gonna have to show your wife
that cool pic.
My son?
I went at him, Miss. Before he went.
_
Today.
Today is the day.
It's a day about freedom.
Ours from prison.
And our freedom soon to split...
not equally, remember... $4 million.
The Beautiful Ranger's learning too much.
Today we have to get rid of him.
Today we have to create and attend a funeral.
Otherwise, the Undertaker's calling, like,
Health and Human Services, or some shit.
And we're all busted.
We still need bodies, too. So...
that's a high priority.
For the day.
Now, I just...
just laid out the whole plan.
For success. In this barn.
And I want to hear it back,
and I want to hear it from Glenn
because I want this plan to be so clear to you guys
that even an under... I'm sorry... educated teen
suffering from blunt head force trauma can understand.
Glenn, what's the whole plan?
Okay. The other really hot girl...
Aww. Thanks, man.
... is in Mexico with a picture of the Sheriff
with a sexual ball gag in his mouth.
She's going to black snail him
because he loves his wife again now.
Black snail?
What?
Blackmail.
She's gonna blackmail him. With the ball gag.
Okay.
To catch our escaped Pastor.
Mm. And then?
Then she's gonna find the failed Mexican astronaut
and make him send fake death papers for the funeral,
so that the ghost man undertaker is satisfied.
What about the Ranger?
We're gonna fuck with his beautiful head
and send that bitch packing.
Before he fucking figures everything out.
Okay, now, see, I-I didn't say it like that, but...
Just riffing on it.
Okay. Well, what about your dad?
He plays an elemental role in this plan.
Do you know what that word means?
- No. - Okay.
Neither did my dad.
You had to explain it to him like four times, so...
I'm worried about that part of the plan.
"Elemental" means he could fuck the whole thing up
if he doesn't do it right.
Okay.
Shit.
"Elemental" also means Uncle Dave
could fuck up the whole thing if he shows up at the funeral.
He won't. The county won't let him.
So, today we bury those bodies,
along with all the questions that are being asked around here.
I host the funeral, as the only son.
Then all we do is wait,
till after the questions quiet down,
after Pa is recaptured,
when no one is paying attention again.
To where the money goes.
And then we split $4 million.
Not equally.
? Perpetual Grace,
- Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com -
What are you hoping for with Pirdoo?
You're having Pirdoo in?
Mm.
The Brown kid said they went fishing.
When the Brown kid was missing.
I doubt it.
I'll cover that with Pirdoo.
If he's lying, it probably won't take me long to...
to gather that.
How do you gather that?
When a person lies, their body's levels
of histamine and adrenaline rise.
This person begins to exhibit detectable physical symptoms.
Funny business.
What?
Too much money.
That preacher's spread.
It's a compound.
I been out there.
This place is kicking.
This Brown's recently dead.
There's a lot of money in the air.
And that probably, one way or another,
explains the peculiarities here.
It usually does.
What are those physicalities you mentioned?
Of the liar.
There are 11 indications,
and any one of them is a strong tell
that a person is not being honest.
Mm, if they exhibit more than one,
they're just outright fucking lying to you.
They are...
scratching, coughing, stretching,
running your hand through your hair,
shifting in place, craning your neck,
tapping your fingers, dramatic inhale,
checking the time, a change in voice,
and rapid blinking.
Was Paul Allen Brown with you, Everly,
over the last two days?
Fishing at Lake Marie?
Yeah.
Over the last two days.
Fishing at Lake Marie.
Together.
Now let's go get New Leaf to give us the bodies
of his loving parents.
You remember what you're supposed to say?
- I do, man. - What did you come up with?
His new name of Lightness.
Mr. Success.
That's pretty good.
It's taken care of.
What is?
He is.
The old priest?
He's not an old priest.
He's like a violent Father Time.
Is he still gone?
He's about to be as gone as you can get.
How you feeling about those bodies...
of your beloved, awesome parents, New Leaf?
Yeah, man, how are you feeling
about us kind of creaming them with a vehicle hauler today,
New Leaf... lovingly?
In baseball, you don't have to pitch right away.
You can take your time.
What?
You can take your time between pitches.
In baseball.
As much as you like.
So what?
I was a minor league prospect.
I had the speedball. Paul.
You've got to get your head on, Jack.
You got to get into the fucking flow. You know?
And the flow won't find you. You find it.
And it took me 27 minutes. Ave.
Yeah. Which was keeping me out of the majors. Because it was weird.
It's tough to get into the rhythm of the world.
- And find a way to rhyme with it. - _
_
So, this shortstop from Farmington fucked my girlfriend.
I froze a baseball
and hit this cat in the face at 90 per.
And at the trial, they showed me pitching right away.
'Cause that ball was thawing and I wanted to sting him.
Manslaughter.
So then I went. Away.
But the flow went away, too.
When I went away.
And it's been gone longer than 27 minutes.
Due, I think, to me being responsible for the harm.
And I-I-I can't get it back.
All my former methods have failed.
I need a new one.
My parents as rain are watching me.
Hey.
Imagine, if you will, your parents...
as rain,
running down the window of a thriving LensCrafters franchise.
And... And you're behind the counter.
And then the Kevin raindrop says to the Denise raindrop...
"He did it, honey."
And the Denise raindrop responds...
"I knew he would, Kevin."
And on your driver's license,
it doesn't say "Space Junk".
What?
It... It says "Mr. Success".
God damn it. Go ahead.
Run over my parents with a fucking vehicle hauler
so I can open another LensCrafters,
'cause, fuck, something's got to flow again for me.
You know?
Cool.
_
The socks were the hardest part.
Shaving my dad's head was fucked up, too.
I just...
keep saying in my own mind...
"Noble goal.
New franchise. Noble goal."
You have a noble goal for the money?
Secret Benefactor.
Cool.
Paul?
Little Tornado.
What's that?
I caused harm.
Without the intention.
But I caused it nonetheless.
Manslaughter.
Yeah.
So I'm gonna drop $1,700,000, American,
into Richard Williams' checking account.
Presto.
And then I'm keeping $100,000, American, personally.
Because...
Because what?
Because I'm turning myself in.
To the Ranger.
I'm going to prison.
That's my plan.
Well, you can go to prison for free, man.
I did three times. I...
No, man. I'm... I'm... I'm...
I'm gonna simply... Before I turn myself in,
I'm gonna simply travel around the world
and master the 11 major martial arts.
Then I'm gonna turn myself in.
I'm a small guy, and Valerie's afraid
of me getting jacked up like Dave did every day.
I don't care.
Because I deserve it.
Because I allowed harm.
But, yeah, after I master the 11 major martial arts.
In like two years.
I already have Kung Fu.
So...
I could seize you with this.
It's called LoudHawk.
I could seize you... If you threatened me,
I could seize an artery with this.
Game changer.
How bad is it?
Prison?
LoudHawk will come in handy.
Do you have any pointers?
When you cry, make sure you do it in your cell.
And keep quiet,
as quiet as you can.
Thanks.
You think I'll need all 11?
How much do you weigh?
- 140. - Yeah.
Yeah, go on and get all 11.
In prison... When I'm in prison,
when I'm... when I'm being punished in there,
I'm gonna be known as The Little Tornado.
And a couple of guys are... are gonna try to take me down.
You know?
In that way.
And it's gonna be, like, a six-hour event.
Like 5 and a half hours of fighting.
And just a half-hour of them...
taking me down.
In that way.
And they're gonna learn
that I'm not the easiest piece of pie in there.
And they're gonna start looking for an easier piece. Of pie.
And they're only gonna take me down...
in that way every now and then.
So thank you...
for allowing me to master the 11 major martial arts
and to become The Little Tornado.
And to stay safe enough
and then get out in 11 years
and still be able to love Valerie.
And you guys.
Well, shall we get you started on your journey?
And cream my mom and dad?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Hey, can you show me some Kung Fu first?
Sure.
140 pounds.
That's... That's like a medium-sized girl.
Gary, sales call on line 2.
Hey, man.
It's time to go cream New Leaf's mom and dad.
Am I doing this?
My body and my mind?
Hey.
Secret Benefactor.
Little Tornado.
Mr. Success.
Felipe?
I am Felipe Guillermo Usted.
Hey. I'm Valerie.
I'm friends with Hector and James.
Shit.
They fucked me down.
To the ground.
Yeah, what are you doing here?
I hold these babies
of drug-addicted mothers to my chest.
So they feel tenderness.
If I must live on this earth...
then it is through that act that I choose to be greater.
Than a simple living thing on earth.
This is my shift.
Cool.
You have to leave.
For why?
For because you have to get
the fucking death-certificate stuff done.
Right now.
You have four hours to reissue the death certificates
for Byron and Lillian Brown.
Plus a full customs-clearable package.
Can I hold my baby for a little while?
Like three minutes?
No.
Fuck.
What do you think it means?
- They're gonna kill him. - What?
They're gonna kill him. Not us.
That's the solution to all the major fucking problems.
He's dead.
That's not... Man.
What, man?
That's not the plan. Man.
The whole thing's not the fucking plan.
Man.
It gets done.
We're not doing it.
Yeah, man. We are.
Harm. Unintended. Allowed by.
Fuck, man.
No.
- Go get him, Hector. - Go what?
You are a Sheriff, so get him.
Then hold him. And then let him go. Later.
Go do the fucking plan, Hector!
It's not too late!
I don't want to be with my lady anymore.
I want to be with my real lady.
I don't need you.
But if you don't go, Byron Brown dies?
Yeah.
And you get the scenario you want.
And I love the one worth loving.
And I don't even know you.
But he's dead then.
Yeah, he's dead.
But what are you asking me, man?
That's a cartel, man.
That's real, man.
I direct traffic. Around them.
I don't go at them. Ever, man.
Never, ever.
God bless you. Fuck that.
He's not a monster.
What?
Pa. He's not a monster. He's a human...
I know he's not a fucking monster.
James. Fuck you.
I'm the one that had to fucking spend all the time with him.
He gave me pretty good tips on the book
and pretty good tips for love, but...
man, fuck that.
You want that ball gag photo
to show up in your wife's e-mail...
- Hey, whoa! - Yeah, man. Whoa.
I thought we didn't kill people.
Yeah.
Fuck.
What?
Pa.
Man, that's...
Letting it and doing it...
They're not very different.
But they're different.
Some.
They're not different enough.
Go get him.
I'm going to this funeral today. As Paul.
We got the bodies.
The plan to get the Ranger to back away is working.
I'm in the middle of it. We're good.
Go get him.
Go get him, we're good.
I'm going to do my part here today.
I'm gonna make this Ranger quit.
Do yours there. Get Pa.
And we're okay.
Fuck.
"Running". It's a term.
A term you learn at the academy.
It just means quitting.
Leaving your hose and running.
You take a whole course on it. There.
It's called The Thermodynamics of Running.
If you're, like... Say you're in a burning apartment.
say...
and then you begin to fear for your own safety,
and say there's a little bird in there...
Pet. Pet bird.
And you try to free this bird...
... even though your hands are burning off.
And you do it.
Then you quit.
Then run.
Because you think you just accomplished something.
You say, way back in your mind, "I saved the bird."
Then you quit. And run.
'Cause you did something.
The Thermodynamics of Running.
I'm going to make the Ranger run.
Yeah?
You don't know that much.
You talked to her father.
Many times.
And you read her diary.
Many times.
She had a lousy father.
Richard Williams.
Yeah.
Deacon Richard Williams?
Deacon in your father's church?
Yeah.
God hates magic.
Did you know that?
I don't believe in God.
I don't either. It's in the Bible.
He hates magic.
That's a weird thing to hate, but that's in there.
And he told her that.
He read her diary.
The thoughts she put in there.
He read her thoughts.
To determine if they were sinful.
And she loved magic.
And you don't know that she loved magic.
'Cause she never told him.
And she couldn't put it in the diary
because she knew he read it.
So he didn't know that wonderful kid.
Really.
So neither do you.
She died trying to do a magic trick.
Paul.
Everly Pirdoo is lying about you two being together.
Being together over these curious last few days.
"Luke Steel drove into the killing fields.
With an actual loaded actual gun.
And he was overcome by thoughts of how he had never fired one.
Had never killed anyone.
Had only become a Sheriff because it was a little better
than working at the shitty Ford factory.
And being in the cartel.
Which Luke Steel could have been in,
but they always scared him very much.
The crazy old fuck was out there.
In the killing fields.
And even he couldn't face these fuckers down.
Plus, he's got to be like 70-something,
even though he's tough as shit,
and it actually always bugged Luke Steel a little
'cause him and his old wife only came down to Mexico
to help their son, which, come on, that's pretty cool.
And Luke fucking locks them up over a woman
who's flashing Luke's ball gag pictures all over town.
Fuck, man. How Luke was confused and scared.
'Maybe', thought Luke Steel in his mind..."
Wait... you always think in your mind.
Just write. The necessary.
"'Maybe', thought Luke Steel,
'I'll look my hardest for the crazy old fuck
and not be able to find him.
Oh, that would be awesome', thought Luke.
Then, shit, Luke Steel
saw the crazy old fuck's wife walking up there,
and he knew shit, man.
He was probably getting closer to the killing fields,
and he would probably actually have to do something.
For the first time.
Against the power of the fucking actual cartel.
Holy shit."
Hector.
Come on.
Let's go get him.
Hey.
Yeah.
I've been sleeping with a parishioner.
A member of my father's church.
An important member of the church.
And the community.
I don't know if that's a big deal in Greater Austin.
But it is a big deal here.
So I've been struggling to maintain our privacy
throughout your multiple interrogations of me.
And now I've lost it.
And so has she.
You were with a parishioner during that missing period.
Yeah. I was.
Her name?
Scotty Sholes.
So I guess you know everything now.
That was untrue.
The fishing.
Yes. Was untrue.
Untrue why?
Because it didn't happen.
Paul wasn't with me.
Then why did you say he was?
Because he asked me...
like... to cover for him.
Because he was...
This is a small community...
and he asked me to say that
so it would remain private.
What he and Scotty...
So that that would r-remain private.
You know whose place this was?
The barbershop?
Yeah.
I never thought to ask.
And it's not a barbershop.
Well, it sure looks like one.
It's a hair salon.
That was designed, carefully designed,
to look like...
It was carefully designed.
By my wife.
And the church invested its equity in something.
Lost it.
This was her place.
Like, her place in the community.
And it broke her.
Then she left.
And that almost broke us.
So if you don't mind, I'm gonna get the fuck out of here.
If that's okay.
That's okay.
Why's there an astronaut in the stock room?
That's James' dad.
I want to bring him to James' special moment.
For support.
How'd your next Beautiful Ranger thing go?
Crushed.
We'll probably get a few more cool shared experiences
as we get closer to taking all this a-hole's money.
Cool.
Get this f'er back for f'ing with the Pirdoos.
Cool.
Yeah, it is cool.
"F" stands for "fucking".
Yeah, it does.
"A" stands for "ass".
Y-Yes, it does.
This is like a weird episode of "Sesame Street".
Which is an educational show,
so we never watched it.
You've been arrested 104 times.
Is that a question?
No.
It's remarkable.
So, uh, I remarked on it.
Mrs. Sholes?
Yes.
Paul Allen Brown attests that he was with you
over some of the last few days here.
He also attests that he misled me
as to his whereabouts
because you and Paul Brown have been having an affair.
Is this true?
Yes.
In your relationship, is your wife, Mr. Sholes...
Would Mrs. Sholes be susceptible to an extramarital affair?
Your honesty...
No.
No, Scotty is not susceptible.
Sexually. If that's what you're asking.
And what, may I ask, initially attracted you to Scotty?
Specifically.
You're asking me what I like about my wife's physical body?
Yes.
Specifically, the vagina is what I really like.
Sure.
And the breasts.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, okay.
Well, that's alright. That's fine.
You're a beautiful man.
Not like that.
Just, like, in nature.
You know, like a good-looking horse.
You're beautiful.
Thank you, Mr. Sholes.
It's no problem.
So are you.
A beautiful gay male.
Thank you.
Lonnie, I'm investigating...
double barrel...
a man whose only transgression
may be the simple exchange of intimacy in a small community.
During a period of grieving.
If that's all he's doing, then I'm happy to leave him alone.
I'm happy to walk away.
If that's all he's doing.
Scotty told you this intimacy took place?
Yes.
Then it did.
But let me just add that, um...
Let me add that
I understand why Scotty did that.
Detective.
Hmm.
"Luke Steel had driven through almost all the killing fields
there are in Hermosillo,
and he thought, 'Awesome. I actually tried my best,
and I can't find the crazy old fuck,
even though I kind of wish I did
because his wife is bumming me out
with her strong bird-love feelings for him.
Going on over here.'
But, fuck, oh, what could Luke Steel do?
There are only like two more killing fields left
to check out... you know?
Wesley, what are you doing here?
I was on my way out.
Passing by. Here.
I thought...
Well, I thought I...
I'd just sit here for a little bit.
There's something going on here.
It may not, although I'm uncertain, amount to murder.
But there's something going on here.
And I thought I'd just sit here for a while
and wonder about what's going on here.
But I just finished, and I haven't the foggiest.
What are you doing here, outside your restrictions?
I have some items.
For the funeral.
Family items.
Since I won't be able to attend,
I wanted to give them to Paul.
To be delivered.
At the funeral.
Today's.
He's not around just now.
Okay.
Dave, I'm going home.
And I wanted to say...
Dave, about your Paul.
About how you might be feeling about him.
Dave... I don't know.
Something extraordinary happened.
Between the girl and your Paul.
But I can't see that it's murder.
I've been looking and looking.
I can't see what it was.
There were no signs that she was hurt.
There were no signs of that.
But I have failed to detect what set of circumstances
led her to a river 11 miles from her home.
Wesley.
Yeah, Dave.
Wesley, when we've shared meals...
Well, when we shared meals,
in the occasions where we'd shaken hands before,
I know you go and clean off.
I know you that you go and try to wash me off
before the meal comes.
And that's okay.
Wesley.
You don't know.
Dave.
I do. Somehow.
You got a light.
And I'm sorry, boy.
- Wesley? - Yeah, Dave.
I wonder, Wesley.
Could you do something for me?
If you don't have to rush straight home.
Yeah, Dave.
Could you attend my sister's funeral for me?
Today. As I can't.
I mean I know it's a lot to ask.
I'll be out of that house in two days,
and I'm still just allowed to go to the tollbooth and back.
The funeral is this afternoon, and...
I asked specifically.
And the county said no specifically.
I, uh...
I have a special comb and brush
that, uh, I need delivered unto them.
You know what? Why don't you do it?
Let's go show those county assholes my badge.
So, yeah, I'm coming home.
You don't have to pick up my mail tomorrow, darling.
Honey, I have to go. I'll call you later.
When I get home.
Stop digging.
You understand me?
Stop digging.
_
Why you shoot me in the chest?
Because that's where your heart is.
_
And that was the Byron and Lillian Brown
that I knew and loved.
And now your deacon, Lonnie Sholes.
As your deacon...
as an elder of Our Lady of Perpetual Grace...
I want to thank you all for your presence here today.
Thank you.
And I'd like to invite Byron and Lillian Brown's son,
Paul Allen Brown, up to carry us on.
As we lay Byron and Lillian Brown down.
Unto him.
Paul Allen Brown.
Um...
Hey.
- Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com -