- _ - We'll find a ride.
I'll stand in the middle of the road
and force the issue with my new gun.
I told Glenn we were in a gang
to help with the getting-the-money thing.
Special Boys.
Donny... he's out.
Petitioning for passport?
I am.
- Purpose? - _
- Visit an old friend. - _
Glenn's home, Ranger.
He brought me something home.
- From his trip? - Yeah.
Paul Brown?
- Yeah. - You are a person of interest
in the murder of Theresa Sincere Williams.
Are you gonna stop talking to Walker Texas Ranger?
Are we gonna bring your mother and father's bodies home
from Mexico so we can bury them properly, Paul, for the funeral?
We are.
Let's get your parents home.
The lawful and healthful process of retrieval.
How many kids did the fire-trainee guy have?
The guy who burned holding your hose?
11.
My loving mother and father
will pass in a matter of days.
It's a "Your Parents Are Dead Now" vibration thing.
If you don't return what you took from them... me...
when it vibrates, I'm going to kill you.
- Synced and corrected by Firefly- - www.addic7ed.com -
_
The wire transfer takes three days, I found out.
Besides that, I'm ready.
How much?
Almost all.
So.
So I don't know.
It's not really his money.
It's the church's money.
And church... that's just people.
It's going back, though.
After you take it, you're going to put it back.
Hey! We'll miss this bus!
I'm coming!
My Houdini cuffs didn't show.
When did you order them?
Yesterday.
Well, mail always takes, like, three days.
Grab your stuff. Let's go.
How long until we're there?
Uh, an hour to LaGrange,
then an hour wait for the next bus,
and then two hours more to Houston.
"Star Search", baby.
Well, this is the tryouts.
If we try out well,
then we go to the real show later in New York,
where all the tryout winners go.
Paul?
Yeah?
I've thought about it.
I wish... You know what I wish?
What do you wish?
I wish I hadn't heard you when I was hunkered.
Yeah.
I wish I was magic for real.
Mm. Magic for real would be cool.
If I was magic for real, I'd unhear you.
Yeah. Unhearing would be cool.
But, yeah.
Yeah.
I wish I hadn't heard you.
Yeah.
I have to tell him.
My dad's a deacon, and, well, it ain't right, as they say.
It's all the money in the church.
It ain't right, as they say.
Are you mad?
No.
No way.
You're right.
It ain't right.
Now I'm happy again.
Good.
You're true blue.
And that's the best color out of all colors.
So... cool.
_
Is your dad a fast driver?
Pa's normal. Driver.
Ma drives fast as shit.
They could get to Half Acre in 10 hours if Ma drives.
Hector called Valerie yesterday, said he had a cool plan.
Well, if his cool plan was still cool,
probably he'd be picking up my calls.
I put out the Uncle Dave fire.
Good.
Do you talk about these things in terms of fires
just to fuck with my head?
'Cause you know I have a fire past that...
Oh, shit, man. I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry, man. I am so sorry.
I totally forgot. Whoa.
I would never bring that up in that kind of way, never, ever.
That must be so painful, yeah, down in there.
- Okay, just... - Down in there.
Just... It's whatever.
How do you do that, anyway?
Do what?
What do you mean, "what"?
Fucking disappearing and reappearing.
Unh-unh. That's a magic no-no.
You kind of owe me one for the... for the murder thing.
Yeah, well...
Shoot.
It's kind of a big deal, betraying magic.
Yeah.
Being investigated for murder is that, Paul, big-deal-wise.
Yeah.
Well...
alright.
I hunker.
You what?
Hunker down.
It's kind of my thing.
Like, I'm the best in the world.
At hunkering?
Yeah. Yeah, through training, through...
through hunkering training.
You have to start when you're young and...
- Well, how do you move to... - I scurry.
You what?
Scurry... while I'm hunkered.
Yeah, anyway, I was saying...
Hey, sorry about the fire talk.
But, fuck, I think I got us into more trouble with Dave.
In... In putting out the Uncle Dave fire,
I-I think maybe I started an even bigger fire.
How?
A funeral.
He wants a funeral.
Yeah. A creepy undertaker came.
Yeah. Probably for that, we have to have bodies.
Uh... and we don't, so...
Yeah.
Fire.
Sorry.
I'm still here.
I'm just low.
How are we gonna get two bodies?
I'm coming back there so we can put a plan together
for keeping this on track
because if we don't have these bodies in three days,
that'll start to unravel this whole dark caper.
Alright. Bodies. How? Go.
What do you mean, "go"?
We're brainstorming. Go.
You fucking go. I don't know how to get bodies.
Yeah, well, me either, man.
Can't we just say that we cremated them
and then just sweep up some dust or something?
No. My mom's down on cremation.
You want to hear a sad story?
No. I want $2 million to pay for 11 girl tuitions.
That's around the corner.
Meanwhile, yeah, Dave and my mom...
they met in a foster home when they were 11.
They're not a real brother and sister.
They just call each other that
'cause they wanted family real bad.
And they made one with each other.
They know everything about each other,
like a brother and sister.
They're five-ever.
So, if we just swept up dust,
he would know it was just dust and not his sister
'cause he knows she wants to be buried
with, uh, an orphan hairbrush.
So we need bodies.
Yeah.
Go.
You haven't gone yet.
Maybe we can rent old people and tell them to hold their breath.
Go.
That's fucking ridiculous.
Yeah. I went, though. Go.
Okay, then I'll just say something stupid, too,
and then it'll be your turn again.
Well, then maybe I'll say something stupid.
Well, then we're not going to fucking get away with it,
Paul, okay?
At some point, we have to come up with a good,
- practical way to... - Yeah.
We can't just take stupid turns.
Yeah, you're so right, man.
Okay. Thanks. Let's just...
- Right. Good ideas. - Yeah.
Paul Allen Brown?
Paul Allen Brown.
Paul Brown, motherfucker.
? Perpetual Grace,
A man can't learn very much in a toll booth.
Jack S, really.
Total Jack S.
Hey, you know what's cool?
Byron wants to be buried with a comb.
Held onto that mother f'er for 15 rounds,
all the way to the bell.
Kept it, even though he's bald as S.
Ah, Lillian.
We're gonna bury her with a brush,
Byron with his own memento of life's struggle.
Brush and comb.
Awfully pretty.
And I'll place these items softly on their bodies
in three days and let them down into the earth like rain.
It went off, So-Called.
- New Leaf... - It buzzed, motherfucker.
New Leaf, you look fucked up.
Come on, man.
Come on. You're fucked up.
So what?
I once knew you as Paul Brown,
and then I told you I was gonna kill you.
And then you told me you were someone else.
What? You were once Paul Brown?
Alright. Once is cool.
One is enough for me, motherfucker,
for Kevin and Denise Connelly.
Look here, Once Paul Allen Brown,
taker of my mother and father's money,
you're living in your last moment.
I'm Paul Brown.
Hey. Over here.
I'm Paul Brown.
Fuck!
Jesus Christ.
Come closer!
No! What do you think, I'm fucking stupid?
Hey.
What?
I'm sorry.
About what?
What do you mean, about what?
About your mom and dad.
Is that guy still out there?
I can't see 'cause of tears.
Yeah.
Stop doing that, man.
He's not a bad guy.
How did he just appear?
He's magic.
Cool.
I mean, he's not really magic.
He's a magician.
He's pretty good.
Yeah.
He's pretty good at that one thing, anyway.
The best in the world!
He's the best in the world at that one.
Cool.
He didn't take your parents' money, New Leaf.
His parents did.
It's the truth, and we're trying to get it back.
It's too late. For me.
They're in the by-and-by.
They're in the sky, man, flying.
They're so gone, So-Called.
It's not So-Called, New Leaf.
My name's James Schaeler.
It's not New Leaf, James.
I'm a fucking scumbag.
I'm gonna change my name to that.
That's not... That...
That would stop you from... opportunities.
What opportunities?
In future life.
There is no future life for us.
Us what?
Us what, New Leaf?
For all us Supergiants, James.
The largest star,
huge amounts of energy, violence...
greater than the sun... short-lived... massive...
burning, until it all just explodes.
Supergiants, destined to end life violently.
Isn't your dad a spaceman?
Yeah.
He didn't teach you about supergiants?
No. We didn't spend much time together.
My dad was a plumber.
We spent a lot of time together.
And he taught me about that.
Good dad.
Yeah.
Bad kid.
I was a bad kid, too.
Where is he?
He's hunkering.
Yeah, I was a bad kid.
How bad?
Broke lamps, lied about it.
I broke a schoolmate's arms, man,
just to hear the sound of that.
Fuck, man.
Then I turned a new leaf.
And then I turned back...
to a fucking scumbag.
Don't say that.
Yeah, don't say that, man.
I crimed, man. I'm heavy.
I come around, it's go away,
from all but Denise and Kevin Connelly.
They died 11 seconds from one another.
Old-people love.
Today.
That's beautiful.
Thanks. Thanks!
No problem.
My opportunity now, James.
I have the opportunity to be unloved.
I have the opportunity to be alone.
I have the opportunity to live out
the long days of my wasted life.
Hey, can I come sit with you guys?
You're not gonna shoot him, right?
He... He didn't do anything.
No, James.
That's pretty fucking cool, dude.
Thanks.
Paul.
Hey.
Hey, why do your days have to be wasted, New Leaf?
You can still be a LensCrafters... store... man...
or something.
Didn't you have ana wesome LensCrafters store,
you were telling me?
Once.
Yeah. Eye exams for little juniors or something?
Yeah. Juniors under 14.
That was my idea.
I went outside the franchise handbook on that one.
That's a great idea.
Thanks.
- That's a fucking great idea, man. - Thanks, man.
Yeah, that's a good one 'cause some of them...
they're gonna need glasses.
Yeah. Exactly.
And even if they don't,
you're establishing sustaining relationships in your community,
which could lead to future earnings.
- Cool. - That's cool.
Hey, why can't you open another LensCrafters?
Do-re-me.
My do-re-me's gone.
My mom and dad's dough.
Sorry about your mom and dad.
Thanks.
Family's five-ever.
Family's what?
More than forever.
They're still here.
That's beautiful, man.
Thank you.
They're still here, New Leaf.
And you're still New Leaf 'cause family is five-ever.
And you still have a chance for them to see you own
and operate a profitable LensCrafters franchise.
And we can get you the do-re-me... Paul and me...
if you let us... forgive me...
run over your parents, Denise and Kevin,
with a vehicle hauler and bury them under names
that are not their own... in three days.
Wait. What?
Rewind that shit.
You're not compelled, Glenn, to answer any questions.
I'm a law enforcement officer, but you're not being detained.
I also need to explain that this is not my jurisdiction.
I understand...
Good.
... most of those words.
Several I do not.
Several what, son?
Of those words that I heard I do not understand.
Which?
"Enfroshment".
"Enfroshment"?
You said that you are a law enfroshment officer.
Enforcement.
I don't know that one.
That means it's... it's my job to...
If you break the law, I catch you.
"Complerd".
What now?
"Complerd".
I said that?
You said that I wasn't complerd to answer any of your questions.
"Compelled".
That means you don't have to answer my questions.
I have freedoms?
You have freedoms, yes.
There was one more.
One more what?
One more word.
One more word what?
That you said that I don't comprehend.
Was it "detained"?
No.
Okay. Two more words that I don't...
"Detained" means held.
What was the other one?
It begins with a 3.
It starts with a 3?
Yes.
And it's a word?
Yes.
Words don't begin with numbers.
Okay.
"Jurisdiction", I'm betting.
That's it.
It begins with a "J".
Thank you.
No problem.
That means the area where I'm empowered...
Where I have detective powers,
where I can use my gun and stuff.
That would be Texas, which is...
Do you know that's another state?
Yes.
You know what states are?
Yeah.
They're areas where they have different kings.
You think there's a king of Texas?
Yes.
Glenn, you got hit on the head, right?
Yes.
Can we talk about that?
Jesus.
Something wrong, Paul?
You scared the shit out of me.
Oh. Pardon.
I didn't even hear you walk up.
It's like you've been standing there...
for an hour or more.
Paul, it really is getting very late
in regard to my performing these necessary and lawful functions.
Okay. Yeah.
I've been...
I need to see you soon, Paul,
at either of the Griego & Joy Funeral Home locations,
Half Acre or Cleaver.
Okay. Thank you.
In a matter of days, we'll be dealing with
the governmental Department of Health and Human Services,
designed for the transportation of unhealthy and toxic remains.
Okay.
I'd prefer that the government wasn't involved, Paul,
Inspectors General, Surgeons General involved
in the burial of your parents.
Not cool.
Lots of RT.
RT?
Red tape, Paul.
Come and see me
at either of the Griego & Joy Funeral Home locations,
Half Acre or Cleaver...
- Okay. Yeah... - very soon.
Thank you. What?
Come and see me very soon.
This was a robbery?
Yes.
Glenn, do you know a Paul Allen Brown?
No.
You went to Mexico, Glenn?
Yes.
For...
Sombrero.
They sell them here.
Oh.
You didn't know that?
No.
Shit.
Glenn, do you know a man named New Leaf?
Yes.
In what way? Know him how?
We're friends.
You're friends with a 42-year-old convicted murderer?
He never murdered me.
He was nice to me.
New.
What's that?
New was nice to me.
You're on a first-name basis, you and New?
Yes.
You met on this trip to Mexico?
On the bus, yes.
Glenn, once... some years ago...
a young girl was taken from her home,
from her father.
And this man... Richard Williams is his name.
And Richard Williams was worried
in the manner your father was worried
these last few days as you were missing, as she was.
But Mr. Williams felt this way for a very long spell.
Worried sick, as they say.
Until...
Until what?
Until he felt worse than that...
when she was found no longer alive.
And he always feels like this.
He always feels this feeling.
And it's his only feeling.
He never feels any of the other ones.
Glenn, I'm sorry you took a blow to your head.
But people, you see...
some people,
not most, not even close, but some...
some people are depraved, son.
And I'll explain that to you, Glenn.
Some men will knock a boy around.
Some will shoot another man over a roof.
And some will take a young girl from her home,
very far from her home, put her in handcuffs,
and throw her in a cold fucking river.
I don't know that you know that much about the world,
but I want you to know that about the world.
Be aware, son, I'm saying.
Be aware, son, of your surroundings.
Your father should have taught you that.
Can I actually learn that in three hours?
Totally.
I'm not magic.
I'm not magic, either, man.
It's an illusion.
You just have to look like you're floating.
Look. My... My left toes are... are still on the ground.
Your body has to look light, though,
like... like floating light to sell it.
You look heavy.
Half of it's in your mind.
To think light.
Drop the weight of your mind.
What's on your mind right now?
I'm worried about getting caught for abducting your parents.
Worried about Pa getting away.
Worried about getting the bodies for the funeral,
I guess, probably.
And dead rookie with the 11, you know...
Heavy.
Okay.
You'll never get off the ground
with the heavy weight of the past.
Feel the lightness of the future.
Extend your arms.
Welcome, Lightness of the Future.
Say it.
Welcome Lightness of the Future.
Hello.
Please come in.
How you been, man?
It's been a while, The Lightness of the Future.
It's been a while Lightness of the Future.
Stop laughing.
This is an important part of... of our caper, man.
I know. I know. It was my idea, so...
It's a good idea, man.
Now... Now, let's... let's get you off the ground.
Yeah, so, uh...
Hey, Lightness of the Future.
Hey... Hey, Lightness of the Future.
You are in me now.
In the space left by the leaving of the heaviness of my past.
Lift me up.
Soon I will be 11 girls' secret benefactor.
I will add light to their lives...
I will add light to their lives.
after we trick the Texas Ranger.
What?
I don't understand.
Whoa.
Are we dancing?
Are we fighting? Fuck, man.
Are we fight-dancing?
Hey. Hey, hey, hey.
Your son needs your help, Everly.
Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Man your son could get into trouble.
Major, man.
It has to do with... What the fuck?
Hey. Hey. Come here.
It has to do with what the Ranger was asking you.
You... You took your eye off the ball with your son.
With your...
And the ball...
went down to Mexico
and your ball got into some fucked-up stuff
and your ball could go to teenager jail.
And when the ball comes back,
it's not gonna be the ball you remembered, man, okay?
It's... It's gonna...
It's gonna be a hard ball or... or a soft ball.
It's... It's... But it's not... Hey.
It's not gonna be the same... It's not gonna be the same ball.
Hey.
Stop fucking dance-fighting me, man.
Wake up.
We need your help.
The beautiful Ranger...
he's gonna be asking more questions.
That guy's fucking intense.
Walker Texas Ranger?
Yeah.
He's beautiful, too.
He's what?
He's beautiful.
He is.
Yeah. He is.
Like he's carved out of the waterfalls of time.
- Glenn? - Yeah?
Uh, did he ask you if... if you knew Paul Brown?
Yeah. And I said no, like you said.
You're so awesome.
I'm a Special Boy.
Yeah, you are.
- That's my gang. - Fuck yeah.
- I don't snitch. - Nope.
- Fuck that shit. - Right.
Snitches get stitches.
That is very true, young Glenn, in certain settings.
Is this guy a Special Boy?
Yeah, he's pretty special.
I'm what?
- You're in our gang. - The Special Boys.
Cool.
We don't kill people.
Cool.
We just compliment each other's haircuts and stuff.
Okay. Cool.
You have a nice haircut.
Oh, thanks, man. You too.
You got a good look going on there.
Thanks, man.
Yeah. We're all Special Boys.
There are girls in the Special Boys?
Yeah, well, they're... they're special girls.
So... yeah.
"Boys" doesn't really mean boys in the name.
It just means you're true-blue.
So, these special girls are Special Boys.
Yeah.
Cool.
Oh, fuck.
- Hey. - Hey, man.
Hey. Did you find him?
Did he find him? Put it on speaker.
- Did you find him? - Yeah.
- Cool. - Cool.
But then I let him go.
- Whoa. What the fuck? - What the fuck?
Don't interrupt me, please.
I-I wrote this down from the heart, okay?
"Oh, how I wanted to do what I said I would do with you.
Oh, how.
But fucked-up circumstances beyond..."
- Where is he? - Where is he, man?
The old guy?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Who's not an old guy?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
I don't know, man, anymore.
But I do know he had his wife and my gun...
and not my family and not one of his thumbs.
Okay, please don't interrupt.
"I used to think I was cursed with sons,
but I forgot about the first part of the saying,
the part where I'm blessed with faith,
faith that their temporary turdness will end
and we will have love again.
My sons wanted to believe that the old man,
who is not an old man, was their old man.
They were convinced within minutes
with promises of pornography."
Oh, fuck. That's tough.
Who's that?
It's me, Speedy.
Oh, hey.
Hey, you should hear this, too.
This next part's all about you, okay?
"I will cherish forever the night
Valerie Spoonts fucked my socks off in Albuquerque.
I thought love was supposed to be mysterious.
But now I know.
Wide awake, I know it's just about coming back.
That's it. Every time.
I'm strong now with love.
All this I learned from the old man
as we saw a tree as one.
I've decided to embrace my current traditional family way,
to love the one worth loving,
which is not the used-car saleswoman Valerie Spoonts,
even though she's really fucking hot."
So, yeah, man.
Sorry. I'm out.
So, you're out?
Yeah.
And Pa's out in the world.
With my gun.
Fuck.
Fuck, man.
Oh. You're here.
Yeah.
I said, "Oh, you're here", because you weren't before.
But you said, "Yeah", like you were.
But you weren't.
How you doing?
Good.
I said, "How you doing?" like that
because your parents died days ago.
Yeah.
You said, "Good".
Okay.
Sort of like...
Sort of like what?
Sort of like they didn't.
Where were you?
And who's in the barn?
Hay.
Hey, what?
Hay is in the barn.
You asked what was in the barn.
I asked you who was in the barn.
Oh.
I saw a human head pass that slat.
Hay doesn't walk, Paul.
They walked right on by.
I was just in there alone, so... nobody.
Paul, I'm gonna ask you if I can go in that barn.
And you're gonna say yes or no.
And if you say yes,
then I'm gonna walk into that barn,
and if there's no one in there,
in the manner you just explained to me,
well, good for you.
But if you say no,
I'm gonna regard that as a fucked-up thing,
another fucked-up thing, a seriously fucked-up thing
among the growing number of really fucked-up things
in your orbit, bud.
And rather than go away, I'm gonna bear down.
And that'll get awfully fucking ugly for you, kid.
A girl is dead, you dumb motherfucker.
Now walk me over to that barn.
Let's go to the barbershop.
I'm eager to hear where you've been.
We're hunkered.
- _ - We've got an hour.
Want to explore or something?
Shouldn't we get back?
For the bus?
We've got a little time.
Check it out.
What is this place?
It's mine.
It's called The Little Cabin That is Totally Not Scary
But Rather is Oh So Filled with Fun and Safety
And You Can Stay Here for Three Whole Days
and be So Safe and Very Merry.
All is not what it seems.
There's no bathroom in the magic cabin.
Or certainly you have to go through magic portals
of time and space to get to the enchanted bathroom.
Explore and stand in wonder.
What are we doing here?
Well...
I thought you could practice.
My Houdini cuffs.
Cool, bro.
I got them for you, these cool boys.
I thought I was too young for these cool boys.
You are... for the water part.
Don't ever try that in the water, never, ever.
The water's the cool part of the trick.
It's where the dramatic tension comes from, man.
Get with it.
Yeah, well, I'm with making sure you're safe.
But you can start practicing here,
see if you can get out.
Are you sure these are Houdini cuffs?
You're supposed to be able to twist and pop them,
pop them on open.
I already learned the twist, but these aren't popping.
Do they only work in the water?
Keep trying.
Paul?
Paul? Where are you going?
I'll be right back.
Hey, wave to me, okay?
Can't.
Hey, the next time you see your dad,
you can tell him about the church money.
Mr. Richard Williams,
Theresa's safe and sound at 747 Rural Route 9, LaGrange.
I am so, so, so, so sorry
that it takes three whole entire days for a money wire transfer
to be completed to the foreign country I'm fleeing to.
_
- Isn't that crazy? - _
_
Paul went to Harvard too young, I think.
Maybe that's where it started to go wrong with Paul.
He didn't go to Harvard, you see, as a student.
He went there more as, well,
I guess a specimen... at 16.
- He's... Paul is a moron genius. - _
Or a genius moron.
So dumb, he's smart, or so smart, he's dumb.
They never figured it out.
He says things like "five-ever"...
which are, well, unusual
and, well... true.
I'm ready for the day.
I'm gonna lay my sister and her husband
down into the ground like rain.
And their bodies will change...
into earth...
and then into mist...
then into rain.
And they will lift and fall this way.
And they'll lift and fall this way five-ever.
So, what do you think?
New Leaf?
About what?
About, you know, your...
your vehicle hauler parent conundrum.
If you're asking what I'm thinking,
I'm thinking I don't know a fucking thing about you, man.
My father taught me to be aware of my surroundings,
and you're all surrounding me.
And I don't know shit.
I just know there's some fucking money somewhere
and some fucked-up old, loose guy somewhere.
And I'm very uneasy about the desecration
of the only thing that is dear to me.
Very uneasy... certified muff diver.
Ahh.
How do you know I'm a certified muff diver?
Picture of you.
Picture of me where?
You making progress on your hundred sad phone calls?
Nearly done.
You'll be having a memorial service soon, I imagine?
At Our Lady?
Just waiting for the...
you know, my parents...
to arrive from Mexico.
Your Uncle Dave is eager to help with that.
I'm obligated, Paul, to know about your whereabouts.
Just because you didn't have that gizmo on your leg
for a while doesn't mean you're off the hook.
So, I'm asking.
Where the fuck have you been?
And if you tell me that you can't tell me,
I'm gonna tell you that you're gonna.
You're gonna tell me soon, some way.
You got bit by a rattlesnake.
This we know.
And this is unusual. Doesn't happen every day.
So, describe to me the day this happened to you,
what went on before, what went on after,
the day you left the hospital without the monitor on your leg.
Now.
I need to know my surroundings, I'm saying,
if I'm gonna allow the smashing of my elderly father, Kevin,
and my mother, Denise, by a fucking big truck, Paul.
Let's hear it.
Hear what?
What the fuck?
What the fuck what?
What the fuck is going on, the whole thing.
There was a little girl.
The only person I ever met who loved magic as much as me.
She was a magic kid, too, you know?
Magic how?
In all the ways.
And something terrible happened to her...
'cause of me.
Something terrible happened to her
that wouldn't have if I never lived.
And I'm gonna think about this five-ever...
when I'm me...
when I'm down under the earth...
when I'm water.
The Magic Kid.
I'm gonna think of her five-ever.
- Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com -